2. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 24, 2013
ELICA CARMICHAEL and Kristian Gittens warmly embracing. (RC) IF EVER there was such a thing as a perfect love, Elica Carmichael would say she’s got it. Elica has found the love of her life in Kristian Gittens and says nothing can ever change her feelings for him. Their story began four years ago; Kristian was working at his place of employment and Elica filled in on Saturdays. Elica recalls looking forward to seeing the young man who’d piqued her interest, while Kristian remembers waiting eagerly for Saturdays to arrive. This went on for some time; they would have casual conversations, all the while both were hesitant to act on what they were feeling. Elica found herself buying Kristian treats and this did not go unnoticed by co-workers. The quiet young woman recalled her feelings at the time: “From the moment I saw him I knew there was something unique about him, he was so different from everyone else.” Despite not spending much time together, Elica, a devout Christian, said she just knew he was for her, adding: “As time went by he would be on my mind constantly day and night… It got so overbearing to the point that I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer, I just had to let him
‘As time went by he would be on my mind constantly day and night . . . . It got so overbearing . . . .’
• Continued on next page.
MARCH 24, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 3
‘I was a little younger than she was and wondered if I would be able to handle that.’
THE EYES tell of all the love that’s vibrant between these two. (RC)
• From Page 2. know how badly I was thinking about him.” Kristian expressed similar sentiments. “The first day I saw Elica. I just stared at her, she was the most beautiful lady I had ever seen and each time I saw her it was like she got more and more beautiful.” The then 19-year-old thought she was out of his league and did not act on his feelings, instead settling on being friends. Although they both felt that attraction almost from the start, they each had issues to overcome. Elica, who is now 30 years old, had had her share of bad relationships and was leery
of men. Kristian, now 23, was thinking about his future, his studies and focused on that. “I was a little younger than she was and wondered if I would be able to handle that. Also, I was into my final educational degree and wondered if this was the right time to get involved in a relationship with someone I longed for; and of course, I was still of the opinion she was still way out of my league,” he recalled. But he could not shake the fact that he was in awe at Elica’s morals, grace, poise and overall demeanour.
• Continued on next page.
4. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 24, 2013
• From Page 3.
Elica remembers her mindset at the time: “Growing up every child has dreams . . . but they were knocked down by unexpected events and circumstances throughout my life and I thought each time, nothing good is ever going to happen for me . . . .” She said Kristian was the answer to her prayer, as she had asked God for a loving, caring guy
among other attributes. Quick to point out that he is not perfect, she said: “I trust him with my heart, soul, everything. He’s special but stubborn though.” “Stubborn,” she added again for emphasis. Even though their relationship was not smooth sailing at first, Kristian remembered the moment he knew Elica was the one for him.
“We were practising at the Stadium for church sports and Elica just fainted. I remember thinking I did not want her to die. I realized I needed to treat her good and from there my love skyrocketed. No more breaking up.” While the two are obviously very in love, they point out that it wasn’t a fairy tale relationship. Case in point: the three separate
• Continued on next page.
‘Their relationship was not smooth sailing at first, Kristian remembers the moment he knew Elica was the one for him.’
TIME TO ROCK the boat with nothing but pure, sweet bliss. (RC)
MARCH 24, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 5
• From Page 4.
‘Even in the bad times, Elica said she never worried that it was totally over . . . .’
occasions when Kristian broke up with Elica. Looking back the couple chalks it up to the differences in their experiences. Elica was Kristian’s first serious relationship, while Elica was a mother and had been through some negative experiences with men. Her experiences shaped her and required a man with patience and understanding; and Kristian found the adjustment overwhelming at times. The soft-spoken Elica admits that no other guy would have stuck it out with her in the beginning stages and understands why Kristian broke it off when he did. However, even in the bad times, Elica said she never worried that it was totally over as she knew in her heart that he was for her. “He made me believe in love again,” she admitted. “I had been cheated on and really was not looking for a relationship at the time. He literally fell into my lap. He is my best friend, my confidant,
my love.” But she does admit that early in the relationship her guard was up. She thought he was too good to be true and that, coupled with self-doubt developed from past experiences, caused her to try to hold back. Today, Elica credits Kristian with giving her the drive to accomplish things she never would have, had he not been in her life, saying: “He brought out the best in me.” Vowing to support him as his wife, she is proud of the fact that he is pursuing his degree while running a burgeoning bakery business. With their Christian principles guiding them, the two are holding fast to their
beliefs, and standards and keeping their boundaries as they wait for marriage; which they readily admit can be challenging and requires strategy and determination. While they say they may not have passion in
• Continued on next page.
SEAL THE DEAL with a kiss. (RC)
Arrive in Style Weddings r Gala Events r Graduations r Corporate Transfers
Tel: (246) 434-8430
www.suntoursbarbados.com
A SunGroup Member Company
6. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 24, 2013
CAN YOU FEEL the love? Elica and Kristian are as committed as any. (RC)
the way people may view passion, they say they have their moments and the love is definitely there. One such moment was their first kiss. As Elica recalled: “Our first kiss was on the Accra Beach as we were taking a walk along the beach. We were walking holding hands and just feeling the cool breeze when suddenly Kristian just stopped and put his soft hands on my face and kissed me. It felt so magical, our first real kiss, his soft lips against my lips was so right at that moment, magical, mesmerizing and breathtaking. I dreamed of that kiss as the days went by.” The gentlemanly Kristian, continued to win Elica over with romantic gestures, such as the day he sent her flowers at work “for no real reason”. “He sent me flowers just because,” she said, remembering how she smiled from cheek to cheek, blushing. “Each flower represented my favourite colours, light pink, fuchsia and teal, with a beautiful card neatly tucked inside with
Sagicor Life Inc is rated “A-” (Excellent) by A.M. Best Rating Company.
a beautiful love note. He made my day,” she recalled. Kristian’s other endearing attributes include the fact that he is helpful and considerate. Although the two do not live together, Elica says he is always quick to help out and doesn’t have to be asked. “He helps out as if he was living here already.” His thoughtfulness also extends to Elica’s teenaged son Akeil. “I remember on one occasion I was at work and he was over by me studying for exams and I came home and he had dinner prepared for the three of us: him, my son Akeil and me.” With so many examples of Kristian’s demonstrations of love, Elica had no trouble recalling the many times he did something that made her fall in love with him all over again. Another incident that touched her involved him cleaning her house and mopping the floors as a surprise. “I remember one time I was going out and told Kris about all these flies I was seeing and could not figure out why. It just
as I walked through and the house was shining very brightly. It was spic and span as some Bajans would say. The entire house looked and smelled different. When it did hit me a smile lit up my face. I was like, ‘Oh my goodness, he is so so sweet and thoughtful. He cleaned the entire house for me and tried to fix the problem with the flies. “I just thought that it was thoughtful and sweet and what amazed me more was that he did not mention one word about it to me on our way home. It’s only when I got home I was surprised at what he had done. It’s the small things that matter most to me.” With a godly foundation, the two use a Bible verse to guide them, one that speaks about love as being kind, enduring, never failing, not easily provoked, among other attributes. Elica says theirs is a happy story and acknowledges that while there is an age difference some might say is too much, Kristian’s maturity is far above those his age and is possibly one of the major reasons why their relationship works. “I would not trade Kristian for anything,” she affirmed. Kristian feels the same way about his dream girl and both have already vowed, “ ’Till death do us part.”
‘It’s the small things that matter . . .’ had me in a frenzy. “I swept, sprayed, disinfected, whatever you could think of, and nothing was working. But I couldn’t stay any longer to clean. “When I came back home that night after Kris had dropped me off, I opened the door and thought, in here smells really good and clean’. I noticed the floors
8. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL MARCH 24, 2013
‘Jermaine remembers their first few encounters a little differently, classifying that time as constant rejection’.
FRIENDSHIP, FORGIVENESS, FORTITUDE are three hallmarks of the love affair of Tiffany Farrell and Jermaine Shepherd. The 20-something-year-olds met while in secondary school, Tiffany was 13 and in third form while Jermaine was in fifth. As 23-year-old Tiffany tells the story, Jermaine did not make a good first impression after complimenting her “assets”. Finding that distasteful, she made it a point to ignore his advances. Luckily, Jermaine got a second chance to make a good impression, redeeming himself a few months later, when their school hosted a cruise. Not one to give up, Jermaine never forgot the girl who’d caught his attention. When they found themselves on the same cruise, he worked up the nerve to ask the quiet 14-year-old to dance and she obliged. Jermaine’s opportunity to show another side came while dancing and Tiffany fell ill. Concerned about her well-being, he stuck by her side to ensure she was okay. This gesture did not go unnoticed by Tiffany and despite his poor showing at their initial meeting, she decided to give him her number after his gentlemanly gesture – and thus started their relationship. Jermaine remembers their first few encounters a little differently, classifying that time as “constant rejection”. What stood out for him
TIFFANY FARRELL AND JERMAINE SHEPHERD with their daughter Zaara. (Pictures by Rawle Culbard)
was the fact that Tiffany rebuffed his first attempts at a kiss, refused to give him her number and basically ignored him for months. But Jermaine did not give up and eventually was able to show Tiffany the real him. Their official first date was a group movie outing where, coincidentally, the two of them showed up colour coordinated and had a good time. With his confidence boosted he took a chance and went for it – the first kiss – not forgetting that she had shot him down a few months prior. From both accounts, it was a good kiss. Tiffany still
• Continued on next page.
MARCH 24, 2013 SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 9
. . . it was no secret that Tiffany’s mother was no fan of Jermaine . . .
• From Page 8. remembers and smiling at the memory she remarked: “He can kiss. And believe me, he was smiling like a Cheshire cat after.” With the first date and kiss out of the way, the two embarked on another first – the initial phase of their relationship. As both agree, the first few months were great with the two typical teenagers having a blast but things came to a screeching halt when Tiffany abruptly ended their relationship.
At the time it was no secret that Tiffany’s mother was no fan of Jermaine, as Tiffany was only 14 and by then Jermaine had graduated. The pressure from home forced Tiffany to reluctantly end the relationship, which came as a blow to Jermaine. Not wanting to be overbearing but still very much interested in the young lady with whom he’d developed a good friendship, Jermaine would occasionally call — just to say hello, but the polite Tiffany kept the conversations brief. A struggling Jermaine tried to make the
best of the summer, still keeping hope alive that somehow he and Tiffany would rekindle their relationship. As they had friends in common, he would try to position himself to be where he thought she would be, but to no avail — the summer went by with no real contact between the two. Meanwhile, Tiffany, too, was missing her
friend. One day, out of the blue, she initiated contact, calling Jermaine. A still-hurting Jermaine was polite but skeptical at first, but eventually the two resumed their relationship — enjoying each other’s
• Continued on next page.
10. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 24, 2013
• From Page 9. company, appreciating all the great things they admired in each other and going about life as young people. However, the two young lovebirds did not have smooth sailing. The post-secondary years would prove to be “rough” as Tiffany adjusted to life at the Barbados Community College and Jermaine entered the working world after completing his post-secondary studies. Jermaine described that time as “strenuous and fractious,” as Tiffany needed to devote much of her time to studying and he was relegated to the back burner. Also during this time, she was given the opportunity to travel and if there was any doubt in Jermaine’s mind regarding his feelings for Tiffany, there was no denying it after what he called the longest week ever. Continuing on, the two battled through the ups and downs that all relationships encounter, sticking together. In 2010, Tiffany gave birth to the couple’s daughter. While this came as a complete surprise, Zaara was a welcome addition to the family. At the same time, while sharing the joy of parenthood, Jermaine received news that his brother was gravely ill, while Tiffany – dealing with her own issues – found herself attracted to another man. Things went from bad to worse when Jermaine’s brother passed away and he found himself dealing with a newborn baby, a bad relationship and a monumental loss. Getting a reality check, Tiffany realized she needed to put any differences aside to be there for the man she loved. The two worked on their relationship, grew closer. Seeking forgiveness from Jermaine and wanting to get
LOVE IS . . . pouring him a glass of juice. (RC)
herself back on track, Tiffany started to attend church, all the while encouraging Jermaine to join her and their daughter. A reluctant Jermaine attended service one Sunday and this began another phase in their relationship, sparking a massive turnaround in how the two interacted. Still bothered by that period in their relationship, Jermaine admits he found Tiffany’s need to go to church “hypocritical”, adding his thoughts at the time were: “She did what she wanted and now wanted me to accompany her on her guilt trip. Never!”
‘Tiffany realized she needed . . . to be there for the man she loved.’
Despite his sentiments he went and was immediately drawn to the message and style of the service. The two started reading The Bible together, Jermaine was mentored by older men and eventually came to the realization that he needed to propose to Tiffany. He decided to purchase a ring, but said he did not have the money to do so. One thing led to another and two days after deciding he needed to
• Conntinued on next page.
MARCH 24, 2013 SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 11
• From Page 10. propose, “the money just came” he purchased a ring and set about making plans to “pop the question”. Certain that Tiffany would say yes, the 26-year-old remembers dressing in everything she’d bought for him, took her out to dinner and a walk along the beach. An unsuspecting Tiffany was just happy to be out and missed all the cues that Jermaine was “up to something” but on hindsight recalled that all the signs were there. Nervous but confident, Jermaine fumbled around for the ring while a still clueless Tiffany wondered what was going on. Getting down on one knee Jermaine referenced the fact that he was wearing jewelry she’d given him, but noticed she wasn’t wearing any jewelry he’d given her. With that in mind he said: “Now you will always have something on that I bought for you,” presented the ring and proposed. Imagine Jermaine’s shock after finally getting it together, only for Tiffany to rebuff him yet again. Her reason: “We still had things to work on.” Despite her “No”, Jermaine recalled that Tiffany still took the ring, put it on her left
ring finger and said: “Let’s wait”, and he thought: “Seriously?” Her “No” quickly turned into a “Yes” and almost four months later, the two now are planning their wedding. The couple said since they started attending church their relationship had been transformed. With less arguments than before they said “things are mellow” and they are looking forward to “taking their relationship to the next level”. Admitting that things are not perfect Tiffany said: “It’s been nine years. Uphill, downhill and we have seen each other through. We live together, love each other despite the issues and I’m not letting him go. He’s mine” she lovingly stated, adding: “I want to continue what is happening now.” For Jermaine it’s a matter of doing what should have been done before; “It’s going to be nine years and I need to do something. I want to build and continue a legacy of marriage for the next generation.” Unable to afford the wedding he believes Tiffany would want, Jermaine was the driving force behind the couple’s entering the Forever I Do Dream Wedding Competition. Explaining their love, they said they
‘I’m not letting him go. He’s mine.’
have experienced it all and it didn’t come between them. With Christian values guiding them, they said they are positive they will be the spouse each other
deserves, with Jermaine adding: “Marriage goes beyond the ceremony, we have our issues still but I want to us continue working on them as man and wife.”
Printed and Published by THE NATION PUBLISHING CO. LTD, Nation House, Fontabelle, St Michael, Barbados. T elephone (246) 430-5400
12 PAGE FEATURE MARCH 31, 2013
2. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 31, 2013
A PAINFUL BREAK-UP was not enough to derail Sarah Bayne and Bruce Slater’s relationship, with the two now eagerly looking forward to their pending wedding this October. Theirs is a “techie” kind of love as it was via social media that Bruce worked up the nerve to ask Sarah out for the first time, after meeting her several times in their line of work. Sarah recapped their initial exchanges as the pair described how their relationship unfolded. “We met at work. I was working with my brother at the time and Bruce used to do business with him. He used to come in to the office quite a bit and
‘Their first kiss happened on the second date with the two happy and positive . . . .’ every time he did my brother would absent-mindedly introduce us, over and over again. This happened so many times! Eventually Bruce added me on Facebook. He said that we had been introduced so many times we were as good as friends!” After beating back the nerves and asking Sarah out to dinner at Zen, “going straight to the top” as Bruce
SARAH BAYNE and Bruce Slater. (RC)
put it, he soon realized he had doubled booked himself and politely asked Sarah if they could reschedule; a move that did not go over well with her. “I thought he was such an idiot for that!” she admits, but then Bruce redeemed himself by taking her out for lunch that day — and both agree that the first date was “on”, saying they mark that day as the start of their relationship. Early days were great; Bruce was known by some of Sarah’s family, she was
relaxed around him and he was chuffed as he found her to be the total package. Their first kiss happened on the second date, with the two happy and positive about a possible future together. Things hit a bit of a snag with Sarah’s parents, who were being protective of their youngest daughter and were not totally comfortable with the fact that she was 12 years younger than Bruce. It did not help that he was previously married
• Continued on next page.
MARCH 31, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 3
• From Page 2.
‘Things progressed well and both thought the relationship was on solid ground.’
and had a child. Bruce’s genuine intentions quickly won over Sarah’s mother. Accepting that Sarah’s Dad was a wise man, Bruce understood his hesitation and just focused on being himself, hoping her Dad would eventually come around — which he did. Overcoming that hurdle, the two faced some other setbacks. Sarah found adjusting to Bruce’s now 12-year-old son a bit challenging, but she was determined and has now forged a fantastic relationship with him. During this time, things progressed well and both thought the relationship was on solid ground. Bruce professed his feelings for Sarah, calmed her anxieties, made her feel safe and secure in the relationship, all the things one is supposed to do. They spoke of a future together, shared similar interests and everything seemed aligned. That is why, a year into the relationship, a sudden declaration by Bruce that he wanted out, floored Sarah. “He was the first to say ‘I love you’, so I was following his lead, and then he just wanted to end it!” Sarah said, recalling her thoughts when he dropped the bomb, so to speak. Telling Sarah that he did not want marriage or children came as a complete surprise and contradiction to everything. A month into the break-up, Bruce realized he was being silly and hurting Sarah. “I missed her badly in my life. When I did it, I knew in my heart that I didn’t want to do it; I was scared of my own emotions,” he admits. Coming to grips with the fact that he’d made a mistake,
• Continued on next page.
4. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 31, 2013
• From Page 3. Bruce set about trying to correct his mistake, “begging like a dog”. In hindsight, he says: “I knew I was way ahead and had to put the brakes on.... I needed breathing room, but I’m grateful common sense prevailed.” Sarah, who was still reeling from the break-up, was uncertain when Bruce tried to rekindle the relationship. “It was difficult to trust him after that, it took a while. I don’t really remember the details, I blocked it out, but I do remember that it was a very difficult time and for a while I was uncertain if he would do it again.” Her family also took the break-up hard. After working to overcome their previous hesitations, Bruce’s sudden and seemingly callous treatment of Sarah did not sit well with them. Understanding their feelings he doubled his efforts to win their trust back along with Sarah’s. But with that horrible time behind them, the two decided to go forward and as Bruce says: “We’ve never looked back.” The couple moved in together, but revealed prior to that, and surprisingly, Bruce would stay over by Sarah’s and vice versa.
While they’ve had their rough spots, they’ve also shared some great moments, from having “cooking wars” to vacationing together. Their first trip alone was to Tobago and was “fantastic”, according to Bruce. Other fond memories include Bruce’s romantic gesture when he went to England, sending Sarah a photo of roses saying how much he missed her; his apology dinner was also a hit with Sarah as are the inappropriate
• Continued on next page.
‘Bruce tried to rekindle the relationship. It was difficult to trust him after that . . . .’
MARCH 31, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 5
• From Page 4. jokes he likes to share with Sarah’s mother. Of their interaction, Bruce says the two complement each other, making them a good team. Where he is rash, she is sensible; he lives in the now, Sarah is a planner; where he might not be as organized, she thrives on clean and orderly surroundings — something that can be challenging living with “two boys”. But she also admires the way he interacts with his son and the bond that they have adding: “They are always outside doing things, I think it’s important that a 12-year-old boy wants to spend time with his dad.” Together since April, 2010, the two say they are looking forward to married life. Sarah is looking forward to being Bruce’s wife, Bruce is looking forward to introducing Sarah as his wife, and both are looking forward to having children. With that in mind, they were engaged on a significant date: 12-12-12. Despite the fact that Sarah had been hinting at marriage for a while, Bruce had a plan and a ring to pay for and did it in his time. In keeping with the couple’s personality, the proposal was “casual”. As Sarah explains: “We are not over-the-top, fussy people so he did not need to write the proposal across the surface of the moon to prove his love! The way he did it was just perfect.
‘You know what would make me happy happy, happy? If you would become my wife.’
He came home from work one evening — late, as he passed by my parents’ house to ask my father's permission before coming.” Describing the momentous occasion she excitedly continues: “He brought home some Chicken Barn for us for dinner. He cited one of the catch phrases from one
of his favourite shows by saying ‘You know what would make me happy, happy, happy? If you would become my wife’; and I hugged him, forgetting to say yes! So I did and he put the ring on my finger and then the phone calls began. Bruce, a bit more low-key but still eager to be wed, admits that
he believes there is an order to things and that he thinks in stages: dating, engagement, marriage, children. “I like the idea of marriage. It’s an institution. It puts a seal on the deal — this is the one I choose,” he explains. Eager to be married, Sarah adds: “Our love is special, we are
always laughing! Bruce loves jokes, there is not a situation in life that he cannot make light with a joke. “We have been through a lot together and have still come out on top. Being able to go through thick and thin and still succeed, that is what makes love special and everlasting.”
6. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL
MARCH 31, 2013
8. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 31, 2013
A SERMON at church proved to be the catalyst for Donna Patrick and Tyrone White’s decision to “cement” their relationship which started with two shy people, a wrap skirt and nice hips and has produced two children and is going strong for 16 years and counting. Donna and Tyrone’s story is a classic love story, with both agreeing on the details of their relationship. In fact, they agree on much of everything and that is part of what they think has held them together for so many years. The couple says their relationship is not one of stress and turmoil, just two people who met, were attracted to each other and have built a solid life and love; but while together for over a decade the love birds never took that step to walk down the aisle – until now. It started many years ago in Weston, St James. Nineteen-year-old Donna was a cook working a stone’s throw away from the establishment where 26-year-old Tyrone worked as a carpenter. Tyrone recalls seeing the lady who “looked nice in wrap skirts which accentuated her hips”; everyone knew she’d caught his eye except
DONNA PATRICK AND TYRONE WHITE (Pictures by Rawle Culbard.)
Donna – at first. Meanwhile, Donna had also noticed the quiet guy who would come by for meals, but neither had the guts to do anything about their interest. This went on for months, Tyrone’s co-workers would tease him, asking if he saw his friend today and all he would do is smile. On Donna’s end, her co-worker noticed every time Tyrone came by, he “would be peeping” at Donna, who worked in the back; this sparked her interest so she, too, would “peep” at him. One day Tyrone worked up the nerve to give Donna’s colleague his number, but it would be weeks before Donna would make use of the information. Instead, when she saw him she would lower her head and rush off, too bashful to say anything. Tyrone – the shy but gentlemanly person that he was – waited patiently for Donna to call, saying now with all the confidence in the world: “I knew she would call, it was only a matter of time,” but then quietly admitting, “I was shy and
• Continued on next page.
MARCH 31, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 9
• From Page 8. did not want to push and I didn’t want to be embarrassed either.” When she finally called, it was the beginning of what they call a great relationship – and as the saying goes: they never looked back. Over the 16 years the two have developed a bond that they say cannot be broken. This bond withstood the test of a three-year long distance romance, the birth of two children and the usual ups and downs life brings. But the two say never once did they consider walking away. Not once. Donna recalls their first date, which she says was a great first date. The pair went to karaoke and the shy Donna ended up serenading Tyrone with Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You – complete with backup singers – receiving rousing applause at the end. Not sure what gave her the confidence to do that back then, she says she would never do something like that today. Tyrone still remembers the song and the evening, adding that for two shy people they hit it off really well and there was no awkwardness between them. After that they had a number of dates and it took only a few months for them to “get serious”. It was confirmed on Valentine’s Day, approximately three to four months later when Tyrone bought her a lovely jewellery set and expressed his strong feelings for her. From then it was time to meet each other’s families. Donna comes from a close-knit family and was eager to show him off. Tyrone met her mother in work clothes, prompting her mother to jokingly comment to Donna: “You don’t know when you
• Continued on next page.
After . . . a number of dates, it took only a few months for them to get serious.
10. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 31, 2013
‘Donna would often cry herself to sleep at night . . . Tyrone . . . put up a brave front when speaking to Donna.’
• From Page 9. looking for a boyfriend, look for clean ones.” When Tyrone introduced Donna to his mother, she, too, had a light hearted moment and once again it was smooth sailing for the couple. Things continued to progress nicely with the couple spending more and more time together. As Tyrone lived alone, Donna said she thought it was best to spend weekends with him, rather than at her mother’s home – out of respect. This went on for about a year and a half and then she became pregnant so it was decided that she would move in with Tyrone. The birth of their son Tyrell was a welcome but stressful event, but also afforded the couple the opportunity to bond even more and showtheir love for each. Donna had a tough pregnancy, barely keeping anything down; Tyrone, unable to stay home during the day, would leave her buckets so she would not have to move much, cleaning up in the evenings when he returned home. She says his caring and attentiveness meant the world to her and helped her to cope with being unwell. This is why it was difficult when Tyrone decided to take a job overseas while Donna was pregnant with their second child; they found this to be the most challenging time of their relationship. Remembering the toll her first pregnancy took, and without her rock, friend and confidant, Donna would
often cry herself to sleep at night. Tyrone, equally aware of how things went the first time put up a brave front when speaking to Donna, but she and his only child Tyrell were on his mind first thing in the morning and last thing at night. What kept them going was technology, with the two using Skype on a daily basis along with mobile phones to help them to stay connected. With a smile on her face, Donna recalled how those early morning calls from Tyrone made her day and Tyrone was so attached to her that his colleagues overseas always asked when he was “bringing his wife to visit”. The sting of the separation was made less severe when the family met in Canada for Christmas, able to see each other while Donna was pregnant. With Tyrone unable to make it back for the birth of their daughter, and being one who loves surprises, he made a visit home for their daughter’s first birthday, unknown to anyone. Seeing her for the first time it was a moving time for the family, so much so that during his stay he says none of them gave him any breathing room, sticking to his side. After being together for 16 years, the two have a rhythm, they both love to cook and Tyrone jokes that Donna never stays out of his pot when he is cooking. They enjoy entertaining friends and family, celebrating all their special occasions with home-cooked meals, wine and quality time under their special ackee tree at home,
• Continued on next page.
Arrive in Style Weddings r Gala Events r Graduations r Corporate Transfers
Tel: (246) 434-8430
www.suntoursbarbados.com
A SunGroup Member Company
MARCH 31, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 11
• From Page 10. and just being with each other. They are also connected in ways they can’t explain, for example, Donna said once when Tyrone was planning one of his surprise visits, she just had the feeling he would be home that day and sure enough, she was
Tyrone stresses that they are not perfect . . . right; not totally surprised when he knocked on the door, arriving unannounced. Donna says Tyrone has a
Sagicor Life Inc is rated “A-” (Excellent) by A.M. Best Rating Company.
romantic side describing a time when he could not spend Valentine’s Day with her due to work, but left her a long-stemmed
rose on her pillow to mark the day. So what is their secret? In addition to communication, they say understanding, honesty, love and commitment are the key ingredients to their success as a couple, that and taking the time to get to know each other and putting each
other’s needs first. Even the simple things like Donna calling to let Tyrone know where she is has strengthened their relationship. Tyrone stresses that they are not perfect and while they may “get vex and have disagreements”
• Continued on next page.
12. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. MARCH 31, 2013
• From Page 11. they don’t let it get out of hand, adding: “In relationships you have ups and downs, but you have to let each other talk. In all the years we have been together, Donna and I never had any break ups and she never once left to go back to her mother. We have never split up.” The topic of marriage came up from time to time during their relationship, but they always said they did not want to rush things and wanted to take the time to really get to know each other, although Donna did drop hints every now and then, Tyrone stated. However, earlier this year, the family was attending church when the pastor preached on things that hinder you from serving God. Tyrone admits that he felt convicted, describing the fact that he was certain the Pastor was speaking to and looking directly at him when he outlined a situation where a couple had been together for many, many years and had several children together. He continued: “The pastor said every year the man would promise to marry the woman but instead she ended up with
another child”. Feeling uncomfortable and with a few subtle nudges from Donna, Tyrone tried not make eye contact with the pastor. “I tried not to look at him and looked at Donna instead, and what did I see but two eyes staring at me.” Compelled by the sermon he said: “That evening I said to her, ‘let’s get married’.” Blown away by the support they have received, especially from Tyrell whom they said was happy and smiling for a week, family and friends have greeted them with similar sentiments: “It’s about time.” Although they have lived together for over a decade, they realize marriage is another level of relationship and are engaged in premarital counselling to prepare them for this new chapter in their
DONNA AND TYRONE are looking forward to many more years of togetherness. (Picture by Rawle Culbard.)
relationship. While they seem to be on the right track, doing much of what is being discussed in their sessions, they say counselling has been helpful and are
eagerly awaiting the day when they will be officially joined as man and wife. Sixteen years after their first date the two are looking forward to “much more happiness”.
12 PAGE FEATURE APRIL 7, 2013
2. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. APRIL 7, 2013
KYLE BOYCE and Kristen Foster. (RC)
‘she put him on hold, went back to her original call and started “screaming and jumping up and down.”
IMAGINE YOU HAVE BEEN accused of something, the evidence is presented, irrefutable evidence, but you continue to plead your innocence, refusing to admit to the charge. Such is true for 24-year-old Kyle Boyce. Eight years ago Kyle was a fifth-former at school when a certain second former, Kristen Foster, caught his attention. According to Kristen, who is now 21, she noticed a guy continually “staring her down”. She confronted him one day complete with witnesses, but Kyle denied any such actions, leaving Kristen confused. Then one day, Kristen’s cousin decided time was being wasted and gave her number to Kyle saying: “This is from the girl you are always looking at.” Not sure she wanted that to happen Kristen tried to stop her cousin, but it was too late.
Kyle denied everything saying: “Me? Not me!” Meanwhile Kyle, who really had been “kinda” staring at Kristen, handled the situation as a teenaged boy would — he took the number but waited a few days to call, not 100 per cent sure it was Kristen, but hoping it was as “her looks” had attracted him and he was interested in talking to her. With the ice broken Kyle called four days later, nervous but excited. He called in the evening, a female answered, unknown to him, it was Kristen who was on another call. Immediately realizing who was on the other end, she put him on hold, went back to her original call and started “screaming and jumping up and down”. On hold and thinking he had gotten her in trouble
• Continued on next page.
APRIL 7, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 3
‘He would ensure she got on the bus home before dashing off to evening classes. . . .’ • From Page 2. for calling, Kyle was unsure of what to do or say. Keeping the conversation short due to house rules, Kristen said she would see him the next day and left it at that. Sticking to telephone conversations for the next three months, the two got to know each other, learning each other’s favorite colours, their aspirations and interests. Kyle would watch Kristen’s netball games and she would hang around him and his friends. They say it was a typical teenaged relationship. Coming from a strict home, Kristen tried to figure out how she would be able to go on a date with Kyle. Approaching her mum, she asked if she could go on a date. Getting permission to go out to a local fast food restaurant from 7 to 10 p.m. she was off on her first date. Not having much freedom, and with Kyle now finished secondary school, the only time they could see each other was when they met in Speightstown after school. He would ensure she got on the bus home before dashing off to evening classes, and this went on for some time. Kristen recalls getting into a bit of trouble for breaking curfew, but quipped: “It was worth it.” Despite causing her to break house rules at times, Kyle also got a chance to make a good impression on Kristen’s mum when he worked at a grocery store they frequented. Kristen’s mum always requested him, taking the opportunity to size up the young man who had captured her daughter’s heart. As the two grew and grew up together they say things have gone pretty smoothly.
Kyle joined the Army, and despite Kristen’s hesitation and initial reservations, she supported him. Unfortunately, he was forced to withdraw due to injury, but a few months later decided to try again. Determined to be supportive, Kristen quietly admitted that those were the longest six months of her life, but were made easier by close friends and family rallying around her. With limited contact, letters were their main means of communication, but this also
allowed them to express themselves freely. Kristen remembers anxiously awaiting Kyle’s weekly letters while Kyle said he would sit and write to her maybe four nights a week. One of the great things coming out of that period was the fact that they both saved their letters and have precious mementos
they plan to cherish forever. They say the letters also serve as reminders of promises made. By that time, Kyle had been accepted by Kristen’s family, so when she would sometimes visit on Sundays, occasionally she was accompanied by her mum, sister and a friend of the family, all there supporting both of them during this time.
• Continued on next page.
4. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. APRIL 7, 2013
• From Page 3. The seven years together have been good years with the only major challenge being spending quality time together. After Kyle “passed out” of the recruitment stage, the reality of Army life hit. His schedule is very unpredictable and the couple finds spending time together difficult, accepting that has not been easy for Kristen especially. Often they would make plans but Kyle would suddenly be called into work, frustrating her. Kristen said it’s something she has had to learn to live with but admits it still bothers her. The reality of their situation has caused them to be more deliberate, motivated to make the most of their time together and to stick together, cherishing whatever time they spend together. Aware that relationships today can be fickle, they see it as their responsibility to show other young people that it’s okay to be in committed relationships from a young age, and that there is no need to go from relationship to relationship. As Kristen puts it: “We want to show that you can have healthy relationships that are fun…. We talk to each other a lot, we listen and we are open and honest with each other.” Over the years they have learned to accept their differences and to support each other through everything. Kristen says her friends call her a real Army wife, as she is at all
• Continued on next page.
“We want to show that you can have healthy relationships that are fun… We talk to each other a lot. . . .’
APRIL 7, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 5
‘Finances played a key role in holding them back. The proposal, while not a total surprise came in a surprising way.’
• From Page 4. of Kyle’s parades and events, cheering him on. “I’m proud of him,” she says, “especially because of his injury at start and yet he is still there…. I think it’s my duty to be supportive.” Kyle in turn says he always looks for her in the crowd and its makes him feel special when he sees her there. While all may seem rosy, the pair says there are times when they do not agree, and do not feel like talking to each other. Disclosing that tears have been shed on both sides, they have not let
those times mar the good. The decision to get married was an easy one. Coming from a legacy of marriage, Kristen said from as early as secondary school, she knew she wanted to settle down early, wanting to be like her parents who have now been married for over 20 years. Kyle reminds her of her daddy and says he is the kind of man she always wanted to marry; hardworking, quiet but determined and a handyman. She thinks the similarities he shares with her father are also reasons she is attracted to him. Kyle said he has been planning marriage for about three years but knew they were
not ready. Finances played a key role in holding them back. The proposal, while not a total surprise came in a surprising way. The couple had been discussing marriage firmly for about three years. Back then they made each other a promise that they would “stick things out”, but also understood that they were young and not ready for the commitment. Wanting to do it “right” Kyle held off for a few years as he believed Kristen deserved the best, but that all changed last Christmas Day. As had become the custom, Kyle was
a part of Kristen’s family gift exchange. She said every year she looked forward to his gift under the tree so last year when she did not see a gift she was a bit surprised. Spotting a box with red roses off to the side she immediately knew what it was and the tears began flowing. It was especially meaningful because she knew finances were still an issue and this was something they were praying about for a long time, but Kyle looked past that and took the step to propose. Opening the box she said she knew he was “really, really, really ready”.
• Continued on next page.
6. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. APRIL 7, 2013
• From Page 5.
‘touched by his thoughtfulness. . . .’
Kyle recalls before he could finish asking her, Kristen jumped in with a “Yes!”. The two are looking forward to starting a family, as they wanted to do things in the right order, travelling together, exploring life and having fun as they build a life together with God at the centre. An overwhelming feeling of ‘it is time’ has started to take a hold of Kristen, who says she misses Kyle a lot and just wants to be around him all the time. Seeing him as the type of man she would like to have a family with, she said she can’t picture herself with anyone else. Kyle, a man of few words, says Kristen’s support means the world to him, as well as the fact that she
knows him so well and can always tell what he’s feeling. Recalling some of their best memories, Kristen said her most meaningful was when Tropical Storm Tomas struck, and coincidentally it was her birthday. Kyle was on vacation, but being in the Army he was called to work and she was left to mark her birthday without him. With no telephone and electricity she felt down, thinking it was the worse birthday ever. At home saddened, she saw car lights approaching and wondered who was silly enough to be out in the thunder and lighting. Unknown to her, Kyle was dispatched to check on someone
in Kristen’s area and had gotten permission to check in on her, knowing that she was upset that he had to leave on her birthday, he wanted to at least see her. Surprised and touched by his thoughtfulness in the middle of the storm, she said it turned out to be one of her best birthdays because Kyle took the time out to check on her while he was “out saving the nation”. For Kristen, the sacrifice and the tears have been worth it and she can’t wait to say I Do to her ideal husband. “We are like two budgies in a cage,” she said of their love and relationship and they are just ready for the next phase.
8. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. APRIL 7, 2013
EITHER PERSISTENCE paid off or Ryan Forde and Shadé Worrell were just meant to be. Whatever it is, it took three attempts on Ryan’s part before he cracked the harsh exterior Shadé had developed to protect herself and her heart. Seven years after Ryan’s first failed attempt to make an impression on the lovely young lady who caught his attention, the two now plan to walk down the aisle. Ryan first spotted Shadé while they were walking through ’Town – his immediate response was: “She’s gorgeous.” Not wanting to let her get away, he decided to approach her saying: “Excuse me Ma’am, you know you are gorgeous?” In response, Ryan says he was met with “a screw face”. Shadé remembers thinking he was polite and although she was not totally turned off, she wasn’t interested either. What Ryan didn’t know was Shadé had recently ended a rather traumatic relationship and was not interested in getting involved with anyone, so his approach was “nice” and the conversation was good but he didn’t stand at chance at that point.
• Continued on next page.
‘Shadé had recently ended a rather traumatic relationship and was not interested. . . .’
Sagicor Life Inc is rated “A-” (Excellent) by A.M. Best Rating Company.
RYAN FORDE and Shadé Worrell. (RC)
APRIL 7, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 9
• From Page 8. “He was a man,” she explains, “and I just wasn’t interested. I just gave him the brush off.” Rebuffed, Ryan remembers asking Shadé who upset her and she told him her previous boyfriend ‘horned’ her. In typical male fashion, he responded: “Who is he? Let me give him a few thumps, he must be crazy.” Forgetting that he was in The City to conduct business, he proceeded to try to have a conversation, asking for her number. Her response: “I don’t have a phone”, and with that the two went their separate ways. A short while after, both were still in ’Town and who does Ryan see walking by with a phone to her ear? Shadé! Not deterred, he again approached her, this time giving her his number. Every day he eagerly waited for her to call but nothing, so after a while he gave up hope. The following year Ryan and Shadé were both in ’Town again when he saw her, approached her, calling her by name. By then Shadé had forgotten their first encounter, admitting that she’d immediately put it out of her mind, so when this stranger approached her and knew her name, she was caught off guard and “tried to get rid of him”. That was attempt No. 2 with no success, but Ryan was about to prove that old adage: third time’s the charm. Later that year, he passed a house and saw a ‘For Sale’ sign
• Continued on next page.
‘but Ryan was about to prove that old adage: third time’s the charm. . . .’
10. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. APRIL 7, 2013
• From Page 9.
‘she thought Ryan was very handsome. With that, she opted to let her guard down just a bit.
Arrive in Style Weddings r Gala Events r Graduations r Corporate Transfers
Tel: (246) 434-8430
www.suntoursbarbados.com
A SunGroup Member Company
on a car. Not knowing whose car it was he decided to knock on the door of the house to enquire. A lady answered, he stated his business and she asked him to hold on while she got the owner. Turning away she called “Shadé”. Caught off guard, Ryan wondered how many Shadés there were and could not believe it when the lady he’d been trying to talk to for approximately a year, came to the door. Addressing her by name, he asked if she remembered him and explained why he was at her door. Still claiming she did not remember, but realizing that she knew the face from somewhere, Shadé kept the initial conversation on business. Deciding to give it one
more try, Ryan asked if he could call her on the number listed on the car. This time Shadé responded in the affirmative. Ryan called her immediately and they spent time conversing, getting to know each other. Shadé recalls talking to her sister about the encounters, seeking advice. Her sister’s response: “Either he’s stalking you, or it’s meant to be”, and for the first time Shadé allowed herself to relax and realized that she thought Ryan was very handsome. With that, she opted to let her guard down just a bit. She recalled how polite he was when he approached her on all three
• Continued on next page.
APRIL 7, 2013. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. 11
• From Page 10. occasions, she also remembered that he did not push and respected her boundaries, these all made her feel confident that Ryan would be different. It wasn’t smooth sailing however, Shadé was not over her past and it took patience on Ryan’s part to help her to decide to trust again. Later that year, after visiting Shadé and sitting in her verandah, he decided to go for the first kiss, unsure of how she would react. Bracing himself for a slap, he went for it and she reciprocated. They spoke until the “wee hours of the morning” and soon after decided they would officially start an exclusive relationship. But while Shadé didn’t want a relationship, she said things kept moving in that direction. The first year and-a-half was filled
with ups and downs. Ryan came into the relationship with two children, Shadé with one. Ryan’s past reared its head, but as he puts it: “Things tried to pull us down but we got back up. That’s the thing about love, it’ how you deal with the downs.” Ryan admits that the ups and down had him “turned off” at some points as Shadé tried to shake her past. There were times when he was not sure they would make it as a couple, but he hung in there. The couple went through three break-ups. After moving in with each other,
‘Shadé said after her past, Ryan made it easy for her to know he is the one.’ Shadé went back home on three occasions, with the last time being the hardest. For her it was a matter of needing time to think things through, but Ryan found it was devastating and impossible to hide the pain he was feeling. This lasted for two weeks before Ryan went to talk to her to try to work things out, ending the talk with his customary goodbye kiss — something he does to this day. Three days later, Shadé returned and has not left since. Fast forward to today. Shadé said after her past, Ryan made it easy for her to know he is the one. Admitting that marriage was never something she’d considered before Ryan, as she knew her previous relationship was not one that would lead to marriage, she said Ryan just
• Continued on next page.
12. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. APRIL 7, 2013
• From Page 11. being himself made it easy for her to let go and to trust again. Calling him the closest thing to perfect, she says he’s considerate, open with his feelings, affectionate — kissing her in public. Going on about his attributes she adds: “He’s handsome, polite, gets along with my son and my family; he’s the total package and he swept me off my feet even when I didn’t want to be — literally and figuratively.” She continues: “I’d really given up on men and he showed me there was still one good one out there. He is the same behind closed doors, what you see is what you get … why would I waste time and not marry him, I want to settle down and have a life together.” While she admits that Ryan can be stubborn at times, and loves things his way, she says she loves him despite those minor flaws. Ryan says it was her smile that captivated him from Day 1 and that has never changed. Her dimples still keep him blushing and he loves the way she takes care of him and the children, how considerate she is. Calling her his rose, he says every day she blossoms and he could not ask for a better love.
She calls him Tadah – tall, dark and amazingly handsome. Both say this is relationship far exceeds any they were in before and credit team-work as one of the reasons why they have lasted. Some of the best memories the couple share include the birth of their son Rashad in 2010, their regular walks along the beach, particularly their favourite beach — Batts Rock, watching sunsets and their engagement.
Knowing she was the one for him, Ryan explained that one day he asked Shadé if she could see herself married to him. Her response: “Of course” but yet she would say one day she wants to get married to some man. This would infuriate Ryan, who by that time assumed he was the one for her. With marriage on his mind, he started saving and took her browsing to learn her style and preference for rings. With the final payment made last year, he set about
making plans for the proposal. Recapping that special day he said: “I took photos before leaving for dinner and then got her a bit vexed just to put a spark in things. We drove by City Centre (where he first glimpsed her seven years ago) and asked, ‘You remember here?” Shadé, not sure what was going on said ‘No’, just to see what he would say. Ryan kept circling trying to find a parking spot in front of City Centre, while Shadé quietly wondered why they kept circling. With Rashad in tow, Ryan found a spot, got out of the car, got down on one knee and proposed in front of City Centre, telling Shadé she would make him the happiest man if she married him. Caught by surprise, Shadé could not contain the tears, saying: “I was blown away.” Answering “Yes”, she accepted. Ryan took more photos for keepsakes and the two have been in wedding mode ever since, with a date planned for five years from the date they first started dating. Not daunted by two rejections and while Ryan didn’t get the car he’d stop to enquire about back in 2007, according to Shadé: “The car became irrelevant. He finally landed the young lady who had been dodging him all the time and I’m very happy.” Sentiments Ryan whole-heartedly echoes.
Printed and published by THE NATION PUBLISHING CO. LIMITED, Nation House, Fontabelle, St Michael, Barbados. T elephone (246) 430-5400.
12. SUNDAY SUN SPECIAL. APRIL 7, 2013
• From Page 11. being himself made it easy for her to let go and to trust again. Calling him the closest thing to perfect, she says he’s considerate, open with his feelings, affectionate — kissing her in public. Going on about his attributes she adds: “He’s handsome, polite, gets along with my son and my family; he’s the total package and he swept me off my feet even when I didn’t want to be — literally and figuratively.” She continues: “I’d really given up on men and he showed me there was still one good one out there. He is the same behind closed doors, what you see is what you get … why would I waste time and not marry him, I want to settle down and have a life together.” While she admits that Ryan can be stubborn at times, and loves things his way, she says she loves him despite those minor flaws. Ryan says it was her smile that captivated him from Day 1 and that has never changed. Her dimples still keep him blushing and he loves the way she takes care of him and the children, how considerate she is. Calling her his rose, he says every day she blossoms and he could not ask for a better love.
She calls him Tadah – tall, dark and amazingly handsome. Both say this is relationship far exceeds any they were in before and credit team-work as one of the reasons why they have lasted. Some of the best memories the couple share include the birth of their son Rashad in 2010, their regular walks along the beach, particularly their favourite beach — Batts Rock, watching sunsets and their engagement.
Knowing she was the one for him, Ryan explained that one day he asked Shadé if she could see herself married to him. Her response: “Of course” but yet she would say one day she wants to get married to some man. This would infuriate Ryan, who by that time assumed he was the one for her. With marriage on his mind, he started saving and took her browsing to learn her style and preference for rings. With the final payment made last year, he set about
making plans for the proposal. Recapping that special day he said: “I took photos before leaving for dinner and then got her a bit vexed just to put a spark in things. We drove by City Centre (where he first glimpsed her seven years ago) and asked, ‘You remember here?” Shadé, not sure what was going on said ‘No’, just to see what he would say. Ryan kept circling trying to find a parking spot in front of City Centre, while Shadé quietly wondered why they kept circling. With Rashad in tow, Ryan found a spot, got out of the car, got down on one knee and proposed in front of City Centre, telling Shadé she would make him the happiest man if she married him. Caught by surprise, Shadé could not contain the tears, saying: “I was blown away.” Answering “Yes”, she accepted. Ryan took more photos for keepsakes and the two have been in wedding mode ever since, with a date planned for five years from the date they first started dating. Not daunted by two rejections and while Ryan didn’t get the car he’d stop to enquire about back in 2007, according to Shadé: “The car became irrelevant. He finally landed the young lady who had been dodging him all the time and I’m very happy.” Sentiments Ryan whole-heartedly echoes.
Printed and published by THE NATION PUBLISHING CO. LIMITED, Nation House, Fontabelle, St Michael, Barbados. T elephone (246) 430-5400.