Becoming a Crown of His Glory by Natural Hair Academy

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Becoming a

By CrownofHisGlory Copyright ÂŠ 2011

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BECOMING A CROWNOFHISGLORY All rights reserved. Copyright © 2011 by Natural Hair Academy and CrownofHisglory Cover art by A. Judah This book is protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America. Any reproduction or other unauthorized use of the material or artwork herein is prohibited without the express written permission of the author. First Printing: June, 2011. Printed in the United States of America ISBN-13: 978-1463565367 ISBN-10: 1463565364 First Edition: June, 2011 Become a Crown of His Glory by CrownofHisglory is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at www.crownofhisglory.com.

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THIS E-BOOK IS REALLY A HEARTFELT LETTER TO MY SUBSCRIBERS Some of you are Christians, others of you are not. I’m writing this letter to you to speak to you openly and bluntly about why it’s so important to grow a crown of HIS glory, not just embark on any hair growth journey. I don’t want to draw you to ME with products, videos and hair care resources. I will provide them and hopefully they will be useful to you. But it’s about so much more than hair. See, I know you can grow you hair to your knees and suddenly loose it all. Life is too uncertain. To grow, maintain and care for hair in the long haul, you need spiritual balance. *** I’ve been wanting to ask you, why do you want long hair? I’ll share mine: I have a wonderful memory of when my Grandfather walked past the stove while my grandmother was pressing my hair as a child. He exclaimed with pride, “My goodness, that girl got hair aaaall the way down her back”. I have equally wonderful memories of my just spending time with my mother in our California kitchen that would get so hot from having the eye on in the summertime that it felt like the devil was breathing on us! I would sweat out my press while mommy sweated over the stove. She would carefully rub the back of her smoking pressing comb against a white rag in between sips of ice cold water. I could feel her tenderness and love for me surround me with every stroke. She was a proud of my long, healthy tresses as I was, nonetheless, she warned me against getting a “big head”. She really didn’t have to worry about that, she gave me one at birth – just look at my forehead! Lol! In college, I enjoyed the attention the men of the Atlanta University Center (Morehouse, Clark, Morris Brown, Morehouse school of Medicine and ITC) gave me and other girls who boasted long flowing strands. There was an obvious difference in popularity, “wifey status”, bragging rights, “stock value”, and on and on… Braids, and even the popular “Halle Berry” cut, didn’t stand a chance against a girl with long hair. She would get attention even if she had uneven, see-through ends and/or crazy color damage. The bottom line was her hair was long, and for some reason that is what men were attracted to then, now and forever will be. Hair is every woman’s primary distinction. Here are a few more surface reasons for my relentless devotion towards retaining my tresses: Copyright © 2011

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• • •

Long hair amplifies my beauty Long natural hair marks me as a conscious, groomed, and disciplined woman I like to inspire curious souls seeking answers to hair growth questions.

Here are the deeper, more significant and eternal reasons to grow long hair: • • • • •

I love to see my husband proud and excited about my appearance I love being my husband’s crown Long hair marks me as a woman I’m enjoying the journey to a Crown of His Glory My hair is a reflection of my relationship with God

In the Old Testament, the Bible warns against women looking like men and men looking like women, it specifically details the abomination of long hair on a man and the wearing of women’s garments (in today’s terms, that would include cross dressing, i.e. Tyler Perry, Martin Lawrence, and pretty much every black Hollywood actor). Likewise, women are warned against looking and dressing like a man. Many men (and women) see the “Big Chop” as a sign of rebellion and lack of humility. In many cases, they are correct. However, this is me talking, I hope God leaves us a little room for grace as natural women who have been misguided, self – loathing, striving for a clean start and in many ways just learning to love ourselves for the first time. Loving Christ, the image of God, shows us how to love ourselves. In fact, you can’t love God and not love yourself. He made you in his image. So that is why it is truly ludicrous to strain to look like something we are not (I’m guilty too). Here are some biblical reasons women should have and retain long hair: Isn't it obvious that it's disgraceful for a man to have long hair? And isn't long hair a woman's pride and joy? For it has been given to her as a covering. -- 1 Corinthians 11:14-15 BEING LONG AND NATURAL AIN’T EASY Why do women talk so much about confidence after going natural? Who or what took your confidence in the first place? The very fact that this comment resurfaces time and time again amongst transitioners indicates that wearing another persons (or animals) hair makes us feel inadequate and dare I say, ugly?

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I’ve worn a wig a few times in my life trying to experience added length and fullness (and maybe mask a little laziness). I remember getting extra attention from the boys on the block. One very vocal spectator yelled across the street, “Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Now, this same “gentleman” pretty much saw me come and go everyday with my big natural and never said anything. Then, I walk out with animal hair on my head and he was salivating. Does this seem like a crazy scenario to only me? ***Need a natural hair pick me up? Listen to Donnie’s “Cloud 9”. **** Moments of humiliation build character and keep us lighthearted on the journey as you grow a Crown of HIS glory. I’ve had multiple embarrassing days as a natural girl. Lint in my hair, unbeknownst to me until my husband was like, “You should use a mirror to see the back of your head before you go out – you have streaks in your head. I had shea butter build up- Lol!...You live and learn. I’ve been caught in the rain without any rescue accessories . In other words, I began my journey looking like Diana Ross and ended it looking like a 5 year old after recess in a Chicago playground. I’ve had buzz cut bangs from heat damage and had stylists burn chunks out of my hair on multiple occasions without a word or inkling of remorse. You’ll find videos on my YouTube page about how I recovered from such trauma. My very first long hair hero was Wanakee, she was a gorgeous black model with an “engine” (Indian) name…lol! She was the first person I saw online teaching black women how to grow their hair to amazing lengths. Along with her very high quality products (now Beverly Johnsons line), she included “An Emotional Guide to Hair” pamphlet in the shipping box. I was sixteen years old and really believed I too could grow my hair as long as hers. And I could have, but life happened. My response to frustration about the world and its unjust nature was to give into my sin nature – pure rebellion. I was what many would consider “a good girl” in my early years, but the deception of calling yourself good is that you rarely see the inner ugliness inside that comes from being arrogant, uppity, and holier-than-thou – you know the type. The result of inner ugliness mixed with outright rebellion is sin, the result for me was hair breakage and shedding. This was fair warning considering I could have just had my breath vaporize and ended up in a fiery pit for eternity. Copyright © 2011

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Many natural “gurus” and “experts” people will not give you the whole truth about growing and keeping long natural hair for a few reasons: They simply don’t know They are guessing They are hoping to make money pushing a product or service They want to sell you THEMSELVES instead of providing a SOLUTION Here’s an example of the same, many of us have been to churches where everybody worships the Pastor. Bible reading is negligent and the Word of God is ignored or refuted because of what the so-called pastor says. These false teachers know that if they direct you to the Bible, and you read and experience the life-changing message of God for yourself – you won’t need them anymore. Dependency on man makes money. Dependency on God makes one self sufficient. You learning to do it yourself and stand on your own is the biggest fear of a business man or woman. The same holds true for many zealously entrepreneurial naturals and hair growth “experts”. They don’t want to tell you the truth about growing long hair. Like the good news of Christ, it’s too simple. The secret to growing, maintaining and retaining long natural hair is not a product. Every product will work for some and not for others. It isn’t all about protective styles, trimming, co-washing and obsessive maintenance. It’s about being a crown of HIS glory! A woman who dons a crown of His glory brings honor and joy to both her husband, her earthly lord and to God, her heavenly Father. Christ is the “HIM” in Crown of His glory. As designated priest of your home, your husband is representative of “HIM” as well. A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. -- Proverbs 12:4 A woman growing a crown of HIS glory knows that her hair is a sign of her beauty, grace, humility, quiet spirit and God’s favor on her and her family. I’ve seen women disrespect and boss around their husbands so much you’d think they were being led around by their nostrils by her! What a shame. A woman growing a Crown of HIS glory understands that the circumstances of her life, the ability to pay for products and appliances, and accessories, and Copyright © 2011

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make her own “mixes”, along with staying in good health and spirits and finally being beautiful in the sight her husband are all due to her Creator’s provision and training. I’ve seen many women grow their hair long, or have long hair for a year or so and then it begins to break, or they start to thin at the edges, or it suddenly begins to fall out. Some of you with shorter hair have already had this experience as well. The secret to consistent, long and strong healthy hair is a life submitted to her creator, a woman who is humbled by her faults, recognizes her tendency to rebel, she loves with sincerity and puts her family’s needs above her own. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. -- Proverbs 31:30 Consistency and closeness to Christ is a woman growing a Crown of HIS glory’s main essential. Her lifeline and hairline depend on God! Please don’t get me wrong. The world is ruled by Satan and his angels. You’d be surprised how things you can obtain (and people do), by compromising their integrity, worshiping idols, getting naked or flat out selling their soul. This is why many internet celebrities who are talking about issues that will really change your life get very few subscribers. Many social networks inflate your views and popularity through technology on their back end to give worldly ideas and anti-Christ agendas a platform. Again, satan is called the “god of this world”, but God is ultimately in charge and storing up wrath for him and all workers of iniquity. ASPIRING YOUTUBE CELEBRITIES For those of you who want to become YouTube superstars, this letter is to encourage you to share things that have eternal value. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away, say the Scriptures. If you approach your natural hair guru aspirations with integrity and place God at the forefront – he will elevate you. But count the cost. Exposure online is irreversible and not for punks. You need to be spiritually prepared for the invisible battles that will be waged upon you when you share Christ with others. The truth is, being a well known personality can be exhausting, imposing and can spin you into a frenzy of virtual relationships that are “virtually” impossible to manage. Copyright © 2011

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But, if it be His will, God will surely crush satan’s tactics and give you the visibility to be heard by both friends and foes. The Word of God cannot be chained! The void within the natural hair community online is that we all want a quick solution, instant growth results and immediate praise from men, Facebook fans and YouTube admirers. But the truth is, only what you do for Christ will last. People’s admiration eventually turns to envy and wasting time on men who aren’t looking for a wife will be spirit-depleting and leave you with memories you wish you could erase. . Beauty, as reflected in a healthy long mane of hair, consistent in growth and brilliance into its silver years, is a life of submission to Christ. Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life. -- Proverbs 16:31 So if you spend time on anything, focus on learning how to submit to God and your husband. In turn, you reap the benefits of peace in the storms (less stress), prosperity (having enough “milk and honey” for your hair care needs) and the supremely valuable virtue of humility (remember, humiliation is often a precursor to humility and pride before a fall). WHY DO BLACK WOMEN LOOSE THEIR HAIR? We are stressed out. Financial insecurity, baby-daddy drama, institutionalized racism, crazy neighborhoods We are disobedient: Birth control, abortions, impudence, disrespectful, loud, ornery, whorish, adulterous, multiple sex partners, selfish, substance abusers. We are unhealthy: sunlight depraved. pork worm lovers, tooth ache kool-aid drinkers, every day soul food dinners, fried- everything, fast food nationalists, carbed-up “vegetarians”, We are unhappy: Social networks tend to be hang out zones for the unhappy and unsatisfied with life. There are so many hurting souls online and they must be handled with care. We also like to wade in sorrow with pitiful music and selfdepreciating lyrics.

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And the saddest reality is that we get mad when someone mentions that we are any of the above! Please believe I have had these issues, too. If the shoe fits, wear it! But our current state was not always so. We have been socially programmed to be sex-kittens, men’s playthings and side-sex partners; hater’s of ourselves, mentally inebriated, economically retarded, politically gullible, misguided feminists. We are in a deep spiritual slumber. We need to READ our Bibles. The only way out is to read and hear the gospel, accept the gospel and live the gospel. Look around you. Watch a YouTube video. Look into the eyes of subway riders, co-workers, salon-goers and don’t get me started on the club scene…. DEADNESS. We are walking dead… The most celebrated people have no life to give. Like the Hebrews who circled the mountain for 40 years when the promised land was right in front of them, we wander and wander around in our disobedience thinking we’re “going places” and going nowhere – except to hell. These are hard sayings. But enough of the soft talk. It makes money, but it doesn’t make disciples of Christ. Nor does it help our families thrive, nor does it equate a healthy community. Do you ever take a day to look around at Black women’s heads? We look bad. Let’s be real with ourselves. Fried, dyed, blow-dried, bad experimental trendy cuts-gone-wrong or worn out, amateur perms, fly-a-ways trying to fly away from fly-a-ways, split-ends coming out of split-ends, “coughing strands” begging for water, horse tail ponytails attached to buns the size of a penny, weaves that look fake to everybody but you, blonde hair on jet black skin (???), zebra slick backs with alternating rows of scalp and a hair, half-locks ( ½ linty fuzz, ½ new growth), wigs that look like a we’re wearing a poodle as a hat, hairlines that start behind our headbands….I’m worn out. WHY DON’T WE STOP? Why don’t we take a look at ourselves and ask, “Is there something I’m doing wrong?’ I know, the world has beaten us up, true. Please believe, if you are a Christian, the devil is never going to stop trying to make you’re life hell on earth. But, you Copyright © 2011

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CAN call on a hedge of protection, you CAN pray for a lifestyle change, you CAN pray for consistency in following Christ’s commands, you CAN ask for what you want and he will give you the desires of your heart – yes, even hair growth! I made a covenant with God that if I ever turned from Him, to just let my hair fall out. I valued my hair so much and knew that a head of shedding hair would wake me up if I fell into a sin slumber party You can view a video of me talking about my Prayer for Hair” here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3DDOcN6g9M CROWNS OF HIS GLORY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD A by-product of becoming a life force for the Kingdom of God is that you transfer God’s life-giving Spirit to others within your sphere of influence. I’m not making light of this. I was deep in sin (as all of us are) before I met a guy on the street who ended up introducing me to Christ through an obscure Harlem pastor with a small church out of his brownstone. I’ll never forget it, I was in deep rebellion while getting my master’s degree from NYU. My behavior was not unusual for most drug induced and depressed students living a life of rebellion while following the social climber’s script: Go to school, go to school some more, get a six-figure job, be a crab in a barrel, fight for your position, stab people in the back to maintain you job, lie, cheat, brownnose, do WHATEVER to maintain the status quo… I’m often told that I’ve achieved everything that young girls are told to go after. “Your life seems so perfect. You’ve worked at MTV and Sony Music, you’re a daughter of Ivy League parents, an “elite” black college graduate, a debutante, a six-figure salaried corporate executive, an ambassador to dignitaries, a YouTube celebrity, a world traveler, a pageant winner, a business owner, a celebrity handler, you were a semi-finalist on Donald Trump’s Apprentice and a delegate to the Pope!”. But you know what? It’s all poop to me. It impresses people, but it does not impress God. He’s opened doors and shut them, money comes and goes, public exposure is not something you can reverse. All of these experiences have only provided the opportunity for me to stand my ground in Christ and share of His love with others until I check out of this life (and I await that day with excitement. If life was too breezy, I might want to stay)! But Copyright © 2011

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I’ve been given a choice and must answer the same question each day I stand in front of the mirror each morning: “Are you doing this for you? Or for Me?” -GOD I have been guilty of the lust of the flesh and the pride of life on multiple occasions. Worldly pleasures and perks have been both given and dangled. When I reach out and accept them and forget God, this is when my hair falls out, edges start thinning and life spins out of control. See it’s all related. If you tire yourself out with trying to pursue celebrity, worship yourself all day to impress everybody but HIM (God and your hubby), neglect your children to watch YouTube videos or connect with people you regretted you ever knew on Facebook – your wasting time. Time is all you have. If you are in your 30’s like me, and you compare the years of your life to the hours of the day. And let’s say you live 80 years, well -- it’s almost noon, lady! There is no time to waste when the world is changing rapidly and your children and being scheduled to be left behind. There is no time to worry about spending every waking moment with hater girl “friends” who suck energy with their complaints, emotional issues and rants that they should be balancing out with prayer and communion with God. You don’t have time to not invest in the lives of your children, the full support and obedience to your husband, and the good works of a Proverbs 31 woman. If you are married, you are supposed to be teaching the younger women how to love their husbands. If you are single, you are supposed to be devoting your time to the Lord. … the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things-- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. -- Titus 2:3-5 Trust me, it’s worth it! I spent five years as a single, saved Christian before getting married, and honey, I wouldn’t have traded those glorious moments free Copyright © 2011

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in Christ for anything! When God wanted me to marry, it happened and it was beautiful. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll share more about that journey another time. THE BOTTOM LINE Hair growth is holistic. It involves the balance of all things spiritual, physical, emotional, and real. The most important element of this balancing act is Spirit. The Holy Spirit will keep the wheels of your life turning in the right direction, give them air when needed and deflate them when we get too puffed up to keep our hearts humble before our Creator. The trade-off is as a life worth living, joy in tribulation, and a hair growth journey adventure that will not just be a showcase, but a testimony to others. There is much more to say and share for those beautiful souls who have ears to hear. In the meantime, enjoy the journey! And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of neverending glory and honor. -- 1 Peter 5:4 Warmly,

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Proverbs 31 Sayings of King Lemuel 1

The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers! 3 Do not spend your strength[a] on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. 4

It is not for kings, Lemuel— it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. 6 Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! 7 Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 8

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9 Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character 10 [b]

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. Copyright © 2011

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She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.â&#x20AC;? 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.