Family Matters-September 2014

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FAMILY MATTERS

Volume 5, Issue 9, September 2014

Take Control Inside this issue:

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Impossible Interview Questions For Milspouses

Multitasking: It Makes you less productive Four Steps to Change Your Career NCNG Youth Program Events


Contents

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Recognizing Signs of of

s s e r St

04 2014 NCNG Youth Camp Alice Dean, Lead Child & Youth Coordinator for the North Carolina National Guard Family Programs shares information the recent 2014 Youth Camp. Check out page 4.

in Your Family 05 Recognizing Sign of Stress in Your Family Stress is handled differently by everyone. GuardYourHealth.com shares ways to recognize stress in adults, teens and children.

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08 Stop Multitasking. It’s making you less productive. GuardYourHealth.com simplifies why multitasking isn’t that great and how to

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Impossible Interview Questions For Milspouses

change your strategy.

09 4 Impossible Interview Questions for Milspouses Jacey Eckhart, Director of Spouse and Family Programs at Military.com and a military sociologist, “spells out” questions and answers to help Milspouses prepare for their interviews.

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Veterans Affairs Partners with Community Providers

Medical Centers will have the ability to purchase non-VA medical care for Veterans through contracted medical providers when they cannot readily provide the needed care due to geographic inaccessibility or limited capacity.

Page 16

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School Bus Safety

A graphic designed to show kids some areas around a bus stop they should be cautious of.

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Four Steps to Change Your Career

Thinking about a career change? GuardYourHealth.com goes over some tips to help you make that change.

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NC State License Agency offers Military Veteran

Designation Qualified military vets can have designation “Veteran” added to license.

On the cover : Design by Kathryn Jarvis

Do you have a photo that would be great on the Cover of Family Matters? E-mail a photo you have permissions for to ncngfamilyprograms@gmail.com with a description of the photo and who took the picture.

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Family Matters September 2014


Dear North Carolina National Guard Servicemembers, Families and Community, Fall is almost here! It means a change is coming! The kids are back in school, the weather will change and the Holidays will be quickly approaching. As you know, things are always changing! This is what resilience is all about... change, and our ability to make the best of that change. As NCNG service members and Families, change is a normal part of our lives. In this month’s Newsletter, you will see articles on how to identify stress (adults, teens and children), Steps to change your career, interview skills for military spouses, multi-tasking (is it good or bad?), and much more. Please join us on Face book, Twitter and look at our website for more updates. Feel free to share the information that you find there with others and don’t forget to join the Joint Service Support (JSS) network. You will learn about upcoming Unit events, kids events, and how to track your volunteer hours. I want to THANK everyone who helped us with our many BACK TO SCHOOL events. Without the assistance of JOHN DEERE, WELLS FARGO and OPERATION HOMEFRONT, we wouldn’t have been able to provide back to school supplies to as many of our service members and their children as we have this year. They continue to do an AMAZING job by supporting us, so we can pass it along to you! Since it is September, we’re resuming the Teen Council meetings across the state and organizing 2 new Teen Councils in Greensboro and Asheville this year. Please take the time to talk to your teens about joining us. These Teen Councils provide your teens with leadership opportunities and volunteering opportunities they might otherwise miss. AND since it’s September, it won’t be long before the Holidays will be here. So, take some time to get organized before they arrive, so you can make time to enjoy the Holidays with your Family and friends. Homemade treats, gifts and spending time together can be the best gift you will give and receive.

FAM I LY M AT T E RS S e pt e m be r 2014 Diane Coffill S t a t e Fa m i l y P ro g ra m D i r e c t o r d i a n e. l . c o f f i l l . c i v @ m a i l . m i l (919) 664-6324 M a s t e r S g t . Ra m o n a S c o t t Fa m i l y P ro g ra m s S p e c i a l i s t ra m o n a . k . s c o t t . m i l @ m a i l . m i l (919) 664-6000 Ext. 47005 S t a f f S g t . Ta m my Fow l e r Fa m i l y P ro g ra m s A s s i s t a n t t a m my. l . fow l e r. m i l @ m a i l . m i l (919) 664-6000 Ext. 46876 Lana Greer S t a t e FAC C o o r d i n a t o r l a n a . m . g r e e r. c t r @ m a i l . m i l (800) 621-4136 Ext. 11667 Te r r y H e n d e r s o n A i r m a n & Fa m i l y Re a d i n e s s P ro g ra m M g r. t e r r y. h e n d e r s o n @ a n g. a f. m i l (704) 398-4949 Alice Dean Le a d C h i l d & Yo u t h P ro g ra m C o o r d i n a t o r a l i c e. c . d e a n . c t r @ m a i l . m i l (800)621-4136 Ext. 12548 K r i s t i Wa g n e r Ch i l d & Yo u t h P ro g ra m C o o r d i n a t o r k r i s t i . l . wa g n e r 4 . c t r @ m a i l . m i l (800) 621-4136 Ext. 14761 Ly n n A l l r e d C h i l d & Yo u t h P ro g ra m S p e c i a l i s t Ly n n . h . a l l r e d 2 . c t r @ m a i l . m i l , (800) 621-4136 Ext.12547 J u dy R i c h a r d s o n Senior FRSA j u d i t h . r. r i c h a r d s o n . c t r @ m a i l . m i l (800) 621-4136 Ext. 11346

Remember, there are still resources available to you, like Military OneSource, Integrated Behavioral Health, Education and Employment and many more. You can always contact your Family Assistance Center for more information on these, and local resources, as well.

A n ge l e n a D o c ke r y M a r ke t i n g & C o m m u n i c a t i o n s M a n a ge r s a l l i e. a . d o c ke r y. c t r @ m a i l . m i l (919) 485-9570

If you have any questions or concerns, please give us a call, send us a message on Face book or Twitter (info on page 19), and don’t forget to pass along on information/Tweets to others. We’ll be sending the latest and greatest to you as we get information/freebies or new resources.

Ka t h r y n Ja r v i s M a r ke t i n g & C o m m u n i c a t i o n s M a n a ge r k a t h r y n . a . j a r v i s. c t r @ m a i l . m i l (919) 485-9571

I hope you have a wonderful September.

Sincerely, Diane Coffill State Family Program Director

NC National Guard and Families’ First line of Defense Call Behavioral Health at

1-855-322-3848

A b o u t Fa m i l y M a t t e r s Fa m il y M a t t e r s wa s c r e a t e d t o p ro v i d e S e r v i ce m e m b e r s a n d Fa m i l i e s t h e m o s t u p t o - d a t e i n fo r m a t i o n a n d s e r v i c e s a va i l a b l e. I f yo u wo u l d l i ke t o c o n t r i b u t e t o f u t u r e i s s u e s, o r i f yo u h a ve s u g ge s t i o n s a n d c o m m e n t s, p l e a s e c o n t a c t t h e N C N G Fa m i l y P ro g ra m s M a r ke t i n g a n d C o m m u n i c a t i o n s Department pe r s o n n e l , A n ge l e n a D o c ke r y o r Ka t h r y n Ja r v i s, a t n c n g f a m i l y p ro g ra m s @ g m a i l . c o m . E - Ve r s i o n s o f Fa m i l y M a t t e r s c a n b e d ow n l o a d e d a t t h e N C N G Fa m i l y P ro g ra m s web p a ge a t w w w. n c . n g b. a r my. m i l / s s / f p. Re f e r e n c e s i n t h i s n ew s l e t t e r t o a ny s p e c i f i c c o m m e r c i a l p ro d u c t s, p ro c e s s e s, s e r v i c e s, o r t h e u s e o f a ny t ra d e, f i r m , o r cor p o ra t i o n n a m e d o e s n o t c o n s t i t u t e e n d o r se m e n t , r e c o m m e n d a t i o n , o r f a vo r i n g by N C N G Fa m i l y P ro g ra m s.


2014 NCNG Yo u t h C a m p by Alice Dean, Lead Child & Youth Coordinator What a way to end the summer!!! Fifty-one of our NCNG Youth (ages 8-13) attended the 2014 NCNG Youth Camp that was held at Millstone 4H Camp in Ellerbe, 27 July – 1 August. Many people have asked, “Where is Ellerbe/Millstone 4 H Camp?” Millstone 4H Camp is nestled in the tall pines of the Sandhills near Ellerbe which is 30 miles south of Southern Pines/ Pinehurst. The camp was established in 1939 and once was the site where granite was quarried by hand to provide grinding stones for mills located in the piedmont area of North and South Carolina. The camp covers 320 acres of undisturbed woodlands that includes 17 acre lake and is situated within the 60,000 acre Sandhills Wildlife Management Gamelands. This environment is a wonderful atmosphere for our youth to develop self esteem, exercise teamwork, good boating and water safety practices and demonstrate responsibility by participating in archery, riflery, canoeing/kayaking, hiking, low/high ropes, crafts and swimming. Be sure to check our NCNG Family Programs’ Facebook to see pictures of our week.

From left to right: Picture of drawings done by Teen Camp participant Maggie Dula and Rachel C. Contributed photos from NCNG Family Programs Child and Youth Program.

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Family Matters September 2014

Not only did our youth enjoy their time outdoors, they participated in a workshop on the “Prevention of Bullying” facilitated by a Military Family Life Counselor. The youth were able to express their thoughts on how to stop bullying by drawing pictures of what you can do. One of our campers, Rachael C, picture said “Be a Buddy, Not a Bully”. What a way to help each other…. Sgt. Jeffrey Moore’s, son Christian attended the camp. Moore said, “I would like to let you know that I am very happy with the time my son, Christian Moore, spent at the camp put on by the NCNG Child & Youth Program. He was very apprehensive about attending this year when we dropped him off on that Sunday. Upon arriving to pick him up he explained to me that he was actually a little sad to be leaving. Although he had no video games, TV to watch, or phone to mess with, he never mentioned a word about that. The only things he could talk about, was the activities and the people that he had met. I am so happy that he went. He will never forget his experience at the camp. For that I am very thankful. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t stop talking about how well he did and how he also enjoyed assisting other campers with the activities; the whole ride home. He was looking forward to attending next year but was disappointed to hear that he will be aging out of the youth camp program by next year, but he is excited to find out that he is now old enough to start participating in the teen council also supplied by the NCNG Child and Youth program. Thank you for giving him something to look forward to next year.” What a great time we all had!!!!! NCNG Child & Youth Program Staff


For Army National Guard families, this list may also include stress related to mobilizations, weekend drills, and other Citizen-Soldier responsibilities. But how can you tell the difference between “normal” reactions to stress and when you should be concerned? Stress doesn’t look the same for everyone. Use these tips to recognize and address symptoms in your loved ones and prevent stress from impacting your happiness and quality of life.

SIGNS OF STRESS IN ADULTS Symptoms of stress often differ for men and women. The symptoms also can be overlooked for other issues. When looking for signs of stress in your spouse and other adult family members, think about how their typical personality and behavior has changed. Adult stress symptoms include: • Physical symptoms: headaches, backaches, indigestion, weight gain or loss, skin problems, or teeth grinding • Excessive focus on a particular concern, such as money • Poor memory or trouble concentrating • Low or overly high motivation • Issues with intimacy • Anger or restlessness (more typical in men) • Feelings of guilt or depression (more typical in women) • Excessive alcohol use • Reckless driving

SIGNS OF STRESS IN TEENS Beyond stress from family matters, teens get stressed from peers, school, sports, and other sources. Teen stress symptoms include: • Changes in sleeping, eating, exercising, socializing • Increase in risky behaviors (smoking, drinking alcohol, sexual activity) • Acting out or bullying • Feeling “sick” often • Reports of worry, sadness, confusion or anger

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY If you have concerns about family members’ levels of stress, talk to them. Listen to what they say, and ask if you can help and how. Remember that help is available for you and your family. Military OneSource offers non-medical counseling services to Army National Guard Soldiers and family members to help with shortterm issues. You can also anonymously call or live chat with a trained health professional through the free24/7 DCoE Outreach Center. Whether you are a mother, father, child, or friend, reaching out to a loved one who is experiencing stress could make a world of difference.

Recognizing Signs of of

s s e r St

in Your Family

SIGNS OF STRESS IN CHILDREN Research shows children feel family and financial stress more often than their parents realize. Stress in children often shows up as changes in behavior: • Eating much more or much less than usual • Sleep issues: bed wetting, nightmares or difficulty sleeping • Frequent stomach aches, headaches or feeling “sick” • Clinginess • Changes in interactions with the family (especially with siblings) • Acting out, refusing to play with others or isolation • Academic under-achievement or under-engagement

Reprint from GuardYourHealth.com. Original article can be found at September 2014 Family Matters   5 http://www.guardyourhealth.com/health-topics/behavioral-health/signs-of-stress/


September 2014 JSS Webinar Sessions

Register using the links below. Please note all webinars are Eastern Standard Time.

Using the Groups Tool in JSS This webinar shows users how to use the JSS Groups tool to connect with others, access information, and communicate effectively over email and on the web. This includes how to post events in a shared calendar, upload documents to a File Library, and collaborate in forum discussions. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via email. Wednesday September 10, 2014 11:00 – 11:30 AM, EST Register at: https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/EventDetails. aspx?Id=42d3b57f-fc42-46d1-bce1-0e2e1597242f Communicating in JSS During this session, you will learn how JSS enables you to connect with JSS members through Announcements, Blogs, Forums, Email Campaigns, the File Library and Groups. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via email. Thursday, September 18, 2014, 10–10:30 AM Register at: https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/EventDetails. aspx?Id=2be65526-d8ad-4ad3-86cb-3066b954ce1b Using the Contacts and Resources Tool in JSS During this session, you will learn how JSS enables you to search for a resource, add a new resource and manage resources. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via email. Please note all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time. Thursday, September 18, 2014, 11–11:30 AM Register at: https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/EventDetails. aspx?Id=faaf2583-a0e2-46cb-95f5-61df6fde32f2 After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar.

24/7 DCoE Outreach Center call 866-966-1020 email resources@dcoeoutreach.org live chat realwarriors.net/livechat We Serve Everyone! Whether you are a warrior, a family member or a clinician, the DCoE Outreach Center is there for you.  Service Members  Families and Friends  Military Leaders  Clinicians  Educators  Veterans  Support Personnel  Clergy  Researchers  Deployed Government Civilians

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Family Matters September 2014

Upcoming September Teen Council Events NCNG Triangle Teen Council Tuesday, 9 September 2014 6:00-8:00pm at Wake County Extension Office, 4001 Carya Dr., Raleigh, NC 27610 NCNG Charlotte Teen Council Thursday, 18 September 2014] 6:00-8:00pm at Charlotte Armory 4240 West Blvd., Charlotte, NC 28208 NCNG Wilmington Teen Council Tuesday, 23 September 2014 6:00-8:00pm at Wilmington Armory, 2412 Infantry Rd., Wilmington, NC 28405 NCNG Greensboro/Winston-Salem Teen Council “Open House” Tuesday, 23 September 2014 6:00-8:00pm at Guilford Co. Cooperative Extension Office 3309 Burlington Rd., Greensboro, NC 27405 We will be announcing soon our very first Teen Council Open House in the Western part of the State. Be on the lookout for further details.

Absentee Voting Tips The most important thing to remember when dealing with absentee voting is to start the process early. You can use the federal postcard application (FPCA) to both register to vote and to request your absentee ballot. It is important to notify election officials of where to send ballots to you and how to do so. It is a good idea to fill out a new federal postcard application each time you move. Do not use the federal postcard application if you plan on voting in person at the polls. Instead, use your state form. Also, do not forget to check your inbox for your ballot if you have requested to receive it by e-mail. Send in your ballot as soon as possible. If by the first of October, you have not seen your state ballot, use the backup ballot, which you can get at the Federal Voting Assistance Program website at www.fvap.gov. For more information and assistance, contact a voting assistance officer, call 1-800-438-VOTE or e-mail any questions tovote@fvap.gov.


Join Us For Operation Kids on Guard Overnight Camp at Camp Butner Training Facility 539 Roberts Chapel Road Stem, NC

26-28 September 2014 *Open to all NC ARNG & ANG children (Ages 8 to 16)

~A weekend full of interactive activities, fun taking you through some of the training your Service Member receives during “AT”, and making new lifelong friends~ Activities can include plus more…

 Obstacle course  Marksmanship  Drill and Ceremony  Team Building  Rocketry  Archery

***PRE-REGISTER*** DEADLINE for Applications 10 September 2014 Applications can be found on our NCNG public website: www.nc.ngb.army.mil Please RSVP to: Kristi Wagner 800-621-4136 ext 14761 Kristi.l.wagner4.ctr@mail.mil *Children must turn 8 before start of camp.

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Here’s how to stop. 1. TURN OFF THE NOISE Unplug from technology to maximize focus. Despite popular belief, our brains can only focus on one task at a time. Each time your phone buzzes or email pings, your brain has to pull itself away from the current task and refocus on the distraction. These distractions make you up to 40 percent less productive. When you need to focus, try turning off your phone, email, and social media notifications and check them only at scheduled break times. Following this rule will make you more efficient and better able to focus on the task at hand. The same goes for relationships. Studies have found that having a phone in sight, even if it’s not being used, makes people feel less connected. Putting your phone away helps you be more present and focused in conversation. Whether you’re in a meeting, on a date, or just hanging out with friends, ignoring the urge to reach for your phone will boost feelings of trust and closeness.

IN THIS ARTICLE: • Our brains can only focus on one thing at a time. • Make a to-do list to get more done in a day. • Put away your phone to be more productive—and to strengthen your relationships.

Ever talked on the phone while driving? Texted while at the dinner table? Checked an email during a meeting? With all the information constantly coming at us, you may feel unproductive if you’re not doing 10 things at once. The funny thing is, trying to accomplish multiple tasks at once—or multitasking—actually makes you get less done. It also increases stress and can interfere with relationships.

2. MAKE A TO-DO LIST Do you feel like you have to multi-task to get everything done in a day? Here’s a quick fix. Make a list of everything you need to get done. This will allow you to see all the tasks in one place. While writing a to-do list, put the items you absolutely have to get done first at the top (for example, paying the power bill due tomorrow) and the less pressing items at the bottom (updating your music library can wait). 3. SCHEDULE OUT YOUR TIME As a busy Citizen-Soldier, your time is valuable, so treat it that way. Once you’ve listed all the tasks you have to get through, estimate how much time you should spend on each activity. Set a time limit to focus on only one item at a time. Experts recommend 20-minute intervals to keep your mind sharp. If time is up and you’re not making progress, move on to the next task. Come back to it later with fresh eyes and you’ll be more efficient. Once your to-do list is complete with times allotted for each task, tackle one task at a time. Cross off each item as you finish it for an instant motivation boost. WANT MORE? Hear it from the experts: multitasking is bad for your brain. www.psychologytoday.com/blog/primeyour-gray-cells/201107/are-you-smothering-your-brains-true-genius Need to get organized? Create a to-do list using mobile apps. Remember the Milk and Wunderlist are two free online and mobile apps to help you plan on the go. Check out this list of even more reasons to stop multitasking. www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/14/ multitasking-dont-do-it-yall_n_3436810.html

» » »

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Reprint from GuardYourHealth.com


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Impossible Interview Questions for MilSpouses

By Jacey Eckhart

Our SpouseBuzz.com readers appreciated the what-not-to-wear-on-an-interview tips from our friends at the MOAA. But once they were dressed, our readers were far more interested in what they should say when faced with impossible interview questions. “Personally, I hate, hate, hate ‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’and ‘What do you think is your greatest weakness?’ ” noted one reader. “They're the sign of a truly bored and/or lazy interviewer, but in this economy the interviewee can't simply get up and walk out in response.” So what do you say to the four most impossible interview questions for military spouses? We went directly to the recruiters at the MOAA Military Spouse Career Fair to get some answers for you.

1. Tell us about yourself. Our readers point out that an interview is not a date. The interviewer clearly doesn't want to know that you like your steaks medium rare and you prefer your socks fuzzy and peeking through the holes in your Crocs. So what's the best way to prepare an answer for this? “I would never ask an interview question like that,” said David, a recruiter for a major bank. “Instead I would say, ‘Tell me what there is about you that makes you want to work for our company.' ” David said that what he is looking for when it comes to this kind of question is not so much what you say but how quickly you gather your thoughts. This question is often your opening bid in the interview. One way to game this question is to practice several answers ahead of time in front of a mirror or with a friend. What sounds strong? What can you say that makes it obvious that a person like you would apply for this kind of job?

2. What brings you to the area? This kind of question (in towns near Fort Drum or Fort Campbell) seems to be fishing to find out if you are a military wife. It is illegal for an interviewer to directly ask you whether you are a spouse. But should you tell them? All of the recruiters I spoke to had a different answer. Marion Spencer, a human resources manager for the Army and Air Force Exchange Service at Andrews Air Force Base, said that he definitely wanted to hear that an applicant was a military spouse. “Our first priority is veterans and military spouses,” Spencer said. “That is the focus of our business. We want to be the first point of contact for those jobs.” Other employers with a strong military presence or who serve a military audience also said that it was an advantage to disclose your status as a military spouse. Familiarity with the military can be an asset in those jobs. Yet other recruiters acknowledged that employers can be reluctant to hire a spouse for fear that they will move out of the area. Several recruiters noted that if your resume is dotted with military towns (say, Jacksonville, San Diego and Okinawa) the recruiter already knows the answer to the question before it's even asked. So be truthful. Some of the recruiters thought it was more of a disadvantage to appear as though you were not telling the truth than it was to disclose that you are a military spouse. The key to answering this question seemed to be making an effort to see what the interviewer is really asking: How reliable are you going to be? Are you going to be able to show up on time every day? Is your childcare arrangement so tenuous that you will constantly call in sick? Will you be asking off weeks at a time so you can go stay with your mother during the deployment? The best answer here might be your past work history. Tell your employer about how committed you are to your job and your history of reliable, engaged work. Still, some of our military spouse readers advise you to jump over the question completely or say what is true, but not exactly what the interviewer is looking for. ”My philosophy is be honest, but being honest doesn't mean divulging everything in your life,” wrote reader Ophiolite.”The best way to deal with these questions is to have a ready answer that doesn't divulge your entire life history.” Acceptable answers might include, “I’m looking for a new experience.” Or “I came to the area because I like the weather.” Or “I love the area and hope to stay here a long time.” Continues on Page 11

September 2014 Family Matters

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(4 Questions Continued page 9)

3. What are your weaknesses?

This is the kind of trite question that shows up on the Comedy Channel all the time. The lame comic says, "What are my weaknesses?? I’m such a perfectionist!!!"

So it is kind of a dumb question. But it still gets asked. What do you say? Catherine Young, a human resources manager at Fort Belvoir, said that you play this question in two parts. You demonstrate that you have enough self-awareness to know that there are things you need to improve, and then you tell the interviewers what you are doing to improve on that very thing. Maybe you have been in a client-facing job for the past few years and you noticed you just aren’t as good at it as some of your co-workers. So that is why you are applying for this behind-the-scenes programming job because you are more detail-oriented and like to work alone. Or maybe you had problems with lateness when you were young until you started telling yourself that “on time” actually meant “15 minutes early.” Or maybe you never quite understood how to task your coordinator at your past job until you heard a good solution on your Manager Tools podcast that worked great. Hear the weakness question as a question that asks how you recognize, manage and solve problems.

4. Where do you see yourself in five years?

You may peer five years into the future and see yourself with a moving truck. Or even two moving trucks. So what do you tell the interviewer that isn’t a lie? And what if you aren’t at all sure what the military holds for your family in the next five years? Spencer said that when he asks that kind of question in an interview, he is looking for a response that indicates the person wants to move up the ranks. He wants someone who would like to move from being a clerk to a manager and beyond.

Child Care Program for Army Families

Bob Hill with First Command Financial Services told me that he is looking for a career vision from applicants. He is looking for people who want to progress in their field, explore their niche, become go-to experts. “We don’t have jobs here,” Hill said. “We have careers.”

The DoD funded this program especially for you!

So when you prepare an answer for this question, think beyond the military and the moving truck. Where would you like to be in five years? What would you like to know? What skill sets would you like to have by then? Show the interviewer a future in which you are even more valuable than you are right now.

Activate your free membership today to find quality caregivers in your neighborhood.

Interview questions are never really impossible. There are always answers; some work better than others. So before your next interview, recognize that these questions are coming and practice your answers so that an interviewer gets a chance to see what an asset you would be. About the Author: Jacey Eckhart is Director of Spouse and Family Programs at Military.com and a military sociologist. Since 1996, Eckhart’s take on military families has been featured in her syndicated column, her book The Homefront Club, and her award winning CDs These Boots and I Married a Spartan?? Most recently she has been featured as a military family subject matter expert on NBC Dateline, CBS morning news, CNN, NPR and the New York Times. Eckhart is an Air Force brat, a Navy wife and an Army mom. This article is reprinted with permission from Miitary.com and can be found at www.military. com/spouse/career-advancement/4-impossibleinterview-questions-for-military-spouses.html. Military.com’s free membership connects servicemembers, military families and veterans to all the benefits of service — government benefits, scholarships, discounts, lifelong friends, mentors, great stories of military life or missions, and much more. For More about this site visit www.Military.com.

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Family Matters September 2014

To activate your DoD paid membership go to

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Your Sittercity benefit gives you...

9 Babysitters– For after-school, school vacations, extended work hours, special needs children, and last minute care needs.

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9 Reviews from other military parents like you

9 Certified CDH/FCC care providers 9 Authorized access to an installation care providers 9 Senior care, pet care, housekeepers and tutors

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Print off The School Bus Safety Activity for Children on the last page

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Veterans Affairs Partners with Community Providers VA Announces Modification of Patient-Centered Community Care (PCCC) to Contracts Provide Primary Care access WASHINGTON -- The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) announced August 8, 2014 Veterans will be provided with greater access to quality health care. Patient-Centered Community Care (PCCC) contracts have been modified to include primary care. VA Medical Centers will have the ability to purchase non-VA medical care for Veterans through contracted medical providers when they cannot readily provide the needed care due to geographic inaccessibility or limited capacity. Eligible Veterans will have access to primary care, inpatient specialty care, outpatient specialty care, mental health care, limited emergency care, and limited newborn care for female Veterans following the birth of a child. The addition of primary care services to PCCC enables VA to ensure that all types of care can be purchased through existing contracts and ensure appointment scheduling within 5 days and Veterans seen within 30 days. Among the many benefits to the Veterans and VA under these contracts, VA will enjoy standardized health care quality metrics, timely return of medical documentation, cost avoidance with fixed rates for services across the board, guaranteed access to care, and enhanced tracking and reporting of non-VA health care expenditures.

What is PC3?

Patient-Centered Community Care (PC3) is a Veterans Health Administration (VHA) nationwide program that offers health care contracts to provide eligible Veterans access to:  inpatient specialty care  outpatient specialty care  mental health care  limited emergency care  limited newborn care for enrolled female Veterans following the birth of a child Under PC3, VHA contracts with Health Net and TriWest to develop a net-work of providers who deliver the covered care. Care is available through PC3 when the local VA Medical Center (VAMC) cannot readily provide the needed care to Veterans due to lack of available specialists, long wait times, geographic inaccessibility or other factors.

How the Process Works

When do I get care through PC3? VA maintains responsibility for your primary care. In instances where you require specialty care that is not readily available through your VA Health Care Facility (HCF), your HCF may use the PC3 contract to purchase your care. Who decides if I get care through PC3? Your HCF’s clinical and Non-VA care teams coordinate to determine if the care is available at your HCF, a nearby HCF or other healthcare partner. If not, they will look to the PC3 contract to buy the care. If you need care, you should always start with your VA healthcare provider at your local facility. This information was obtained from the Department of Veterans Affairs website. Visit www.nonvacare.va.gov/NONVACARE/PC3/index.asp for an in-depth information about the program.

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Family Matters September 2014


September 2014 Family Matters  

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You’re Invited…

“Together WE Can Conquer the Challenges of NCNG Teens.”

To join us at a NCNG Teen Council Meeting or Open House in your area.

Meeting Dates: NCNG Triangle Teen Council 9 September 2014 – 6-8pm Wake County Ext. Office 4001 Carya Dr., Raleigh, NC NCNG Charlotte Teen Council 18 September – 6-8pm Charlotte Armory 4240 West Blvd., Charlotte, NC

2014 Teen Retreat

NCNG Coastal Teen Council 23 September 2014 – 6-8pm Wilmington Armory 2412 Infantry Rd., Wilmington, NC

NCNG Greensboro/Winston-Salem Teen Council 23 September 2014 – 6-8pm Guilford County Cooperative Extension Office 3309 Burlington Road, Greensboro, NC

OPEN HOUSE

For additional information and to RSVP, Please call/email: Alice Dean, Lead Child & Youth Program Coordinator 800-621-4136 ext 12548, alice.c.dean.ctr@mail.mil 14

Family Matters September 2014


Fact. The majority of American workers do not enjoy their jobs.

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Plus, studies show that low job satisfaction can creep into other areas of your life and impact your overall health. If you’re stuck in a position you don’t like, you can take steps to make a change—while still maintaining your current job. Times can be tough and money is always a concern, but taking control of your career path is worth it.

S Your

teps To Change

This is your long-term goal. If it’s hard to picture a longterm goal, start with your skills. What activities do you naturally do well? Try taking the Skills Profiler to match your skills to different jobs. STEP #2: PLOT YOUR PLAN OF ATTACK Once you’ve identified your long-term goal, write it down, and develop a 12-month timeline. Each month, identify the short-term goals necessary to complete your long-term goal.

Need help plotting your plan of attack? Try creating a Career Plan.

- Your job can impact your overall health - Set a long-term goal to help you work toward a job or career that you enjoy - Seek out a mentor and ask for advice

Career

STEP #1: SET YOUR LONG-TERM GOAL Whether you want to work toward a promotion, get a new job, or go back to school, think hard about the end game. What do you picture yourself doing—and still enjoying—in ten, fifteen, or twenty years?

For example, if you decide to pursue a promotion, determine which position you will aim for, what milestones you will need to accomplish to qualify for the next level, and set deadlines to meet along the way. Also talk to your boss about your goal so he or she can support you.

IN THIS ARTICLE:

STEP #3: IDENTIFY YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM When contemplating a change, your support system is critical. Tell your friends and family about your long-term goal so they can support you. If you know you’ll be putting in extra hours on the job, ask your family or friends to help out with responsibilities at home. STEP #4: FIND A MENTOR Do you know a Citizen-Soldier who has achieved your long-term goal? Seek out a mentor and ask about his or her experience. Mentors are some of the best sources of advice and can be a sounding board for your goals, Army Guard career, and personal life. Remember changing jobs just to fatten your wallet won’t keep you happy for long. Work toward a career change that you love and reap the health (and happiness) benefits for years to come.

WANT MORE? ‣Check out Hero2Hired for career resources. ‣CareerOneStop provides resources for finding a new job and for Soldiers making the transition from the military to a civilian career. ‣If you’re looking for resume tips, read this article from the Real Warriors Campaign.

Reprint from GuardYourHealth.com

CareerOneStop is: Your pathway to career success. Tools to help job seekers, students, businesses, and career professionals At CareerOneStop you can view posted jobs relative to your past positions and experience or search for a new career with the Skills Profiler.

Use the Skills Profiler to create a list of your skills and match them to job types that use those skills. When your skills profile is complete, you can print it or save it. Complete your skills profile at www.careerinfonet.org/skills/default.aspx today. Sponsored by the U.S. Department of Labor September 2014 Family Matters

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NATIONAL GRANDPARENTS DAY IS SUNDAY, SEPT. 7th Grandparents Play a Special Role in the Military Family By Lynn Allred, NCNG Child & Youth Program Specialist

National Grandparents Day originated with Marian McQuade, a housewife in West Virginia, who hoped to persuade grandchildren all over the country to tap into the wisdom of their grandparents and to look to their grandparents to find out more about their family heritage. In 1978, President Jimmy Carter proclaimed that National Grandparents Day would be celebrated every year on the first Sunday after Labor Day. This year, Grandparents Day will be observed on Sunday, September 7. Today’s grandparents are more involved with their grandchildren than they were in the 1970’s. When the national observance was first established, grandparents played more of a background role, such as providing occasional babysitting services, hosting weekend visits and preparing Sunday meals after church. For over four million children, Image from Microsoft Clipart.com however, grandparents of today are playing an active role in raising their grandchildren, often taking the place of a parent who cannot fulfill his/her responsibilities. In fact, one out of every ten grandparents is becoming a “parent” again. In military families, the assistance of grandparents in helping raise their grandchildren is extremely important, especially when a parent is deployed. Often, the spouse of the deployed service member is left at home to raise children, run a household and take on additional responsibilities. This can be overwhelming to those who are experiencing the situation for the first time or to those who have several children to raise on their own. To help fill the void left by deployment, grandparents can often be a valuable asset to the military family. Whatever the situation at home, grandparents and family members who are affected by the changing roles of today’s family dynamics should expect to make adjustments in how they use their time, spend their money, arrange their household and schedule their activities. For grandparents who have already raised their own children, stepping into the role of a “parent” again can be difficult. The guide titled “Parenting Your Grandchild,” offered by National Guard Family Programs, offers these tips to help grandparents better serve the needs of the grandchildren they are “parenting:” 1. 2. 3.

Help your grandchild understand his own situation and that of his/her parents. Teach your grandchild what he/she needs to know to be a good and independent person Provide your grandchild with the certainty that there’s a steady and loving adult in his/her life.

Teen Council Questionaire for Families in Western, NC

Despite the concerns grandparents may have when assuming additional family responsibilities, there are benefits in raising grandchildren. One benefit is the sense of purpose grandparents have when stepping in to assist their family when needed. Another is the satisfaction of knowing that grandparents are making a difference in the lives of their grandchildren – a difference that can help when grandchildren grow up to raise their own children one day.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2PWDGFQ

This Grandparents Day, remember the special family members who make a difference in our children’s lives. Whether they are called upon to be role models, “substitute parents,” or caregivers, grandparents deserve special recognition, not just on September 7th but all during the year.

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Family Matters September 2014


September 2014 Family Matters  

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North Carolina’s Driver License includes ‘VETERAN’ Label Option

Image Courtesy of NC Department of Transportation

Qualified North Carolina military veterans will be able to carry the designation “VETERAN” on their driver licenses and identification cards. Thanks to a law passed by the General Assembly, veterans who have been honorably discharged from the U.S. Armed Forces who present their DD-214 discharge form can apply at a driver license office for the new designation. “We are happy to have this new program underway,” said state Motor Vehicles Commissioner Kelly Thomas. “If you’re a vet, we hope you’ll take advantage of this new opportunity to carry your record of service and your state’s appreciation with you anywhere you go.” Military veterans requested the designation to assist them in obtain military discounts from a wide variety of retailers and service providers without having to show their military discharge form. Putting the designation on the driver license or ID card will enable the state’s veterans to show their photo ID and their veteran status at the same time. Many states are making such designations available. Veterans who are interested in applying for the designation should take their DD-214 discharge form to their local driver license office to show they been honorably discharged. They can request the designation be added to their license at their next renewal at no additional charge. The Division will accept the following documents as proof of a veteran’s Honorable Discharge status:     

DD-214 – Certificate of Release or Discharge DD-215 – Certificate of Release or Discharge WD AGO 53/55 – Report of Separation NAVMC 78-PD – Notice of Separation NAVPERS – Separation of Service

If a veteran would like to add the designation at any other time, they may present the discharge form and request a duplicate license for the usual fee at any driver license office.

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Family Matters September 2014


Family Assistance Centers

Statewide Support

Family Assistance Centers are located across the State to provide assistance to ALL Military Service Members and their Families. If you know of a Service Member or Military Family that has a question or concern, please share our contact numbers, web site, newsletter, and Facebook link. We're here to help. Asheville Military Family Resource Center 7 Yorkshire St. Suite 101, 28803/Fax: (828) 274-7209 Rebekah Torres, rebekah.s.torres.ctr@mail.mil, (828) 274-8571 Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center 4240 West Blvd., 28208/(800) 621-4136 Carry Bandy, FAC Specialist, carry.s.bandy.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 14573 Greensboro State Family Assistance Center (SFAC) 110 Franklin Blvd, Greensboro, 27401 (800) 621-4136 Sandy Harrison, sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 15651 Greenville State Family Assistance Center 1401 N. Memorial Dr., 27834/(800) 621-4136 Dawn White, dawn.m.white2.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 11150

NC National Guard and Families’ First line of Defense Call Behavioral Health at 1-855-322-3848 Military OneSource Military OneSource is here to help you with just about any need, by phone or online. The service is completely private and confidential, with few exceptions. www.militaryonesource.com (800) 342-9647

Lenoir State Family Assistance Center 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd., 28645/(800) 621-4136 Frances Johnson, frances.r.johnson28.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 11242 Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 4105 Reedy Creek Rd., 27607/(800) 621-4136 Lisa Faison, lisa.m.faison.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 47100 Mark Woolbright, mark.l.woolbright.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 47102

FAMILY READINESS SUPPORT ASSISTANTS (800) 621-4136 PLUS EXTENSION

Raleigh JFHQ Unit Family Contact Center 1636 Gold Star Dr., 27607/800-621-4136 Wendi Bell, wendi.h.bell.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 46078

Charlotte: Nikkie Newsome genesia.k.newsome.ctr@mail.mil Ext.14548

Morrisville: Darlette McCormick darlette.s.mccormick.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 16313

Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center 406 Hospital Rd., 27577/(800) 621-4136 Abby Millsap, abigail.e.millsap.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 12784

Clinton: Sarah Strickland sarah.r.strickland.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 14735

Raleigh: Norman Dean norman.g.dean2.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 46537

Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center 510 W. Morganton Rd., 28387/(800) 621-4136 Earlene Capps, earlene.b.capps.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 12863

Goldsboro: Nicole Daniels nicole.d.daniels5.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 15423

Raleigh: George Lane george.w.lane2.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 46714

Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center 2412 Infantry Rd., 28405/(800) 621-4136 Jim Marley, james.e.marley.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 16918

Greensboro: Gloria Fields gloria.d.fields.ctr@mail.mil Ext.15620

Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy., 27103/(800) 621-4136 Sandy Harrison, sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 17131

Facebook “NCNGFP”

Jacksonville: Judy Richardson judith.r.richardson.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 11346

Follow Us @NCNGFAMILY September 2014 Family Matters

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Monday, September 1 Labor Day 2014 What is Labor Day? Linda Stinson, a former U.S. Department of Labor’s historian, provided us with some answers about the history of Labor Day in 2011. Q: What's the history of Labor Day? How did it all begin? A: The Labor Day holiday is interesting because it evolved over a period of years. In 19th century America, there was already a tradition of having parades, picnics and various other celebrations in support of labor issues, such as shorter hours or to rally strikers. But most historians emphasize one specific event in the development of today’s modern Labor Day. That pivotal event was the parade of unions and a massive picnic that took place in New York City on Sept. 5, 1882.

The park was decorated with flags of many nations. Everyone picnicked, drank beer and listened to speeches from the union leadership. In the evening, even more people came to the park to watch fireworks and dance. The newspapers of the day declared it a huge success and “a day of the people.” After that major event in New York City, other localities began to pick up the idea for a fall festival of parades and picnics celebrating workers. Q: Can you clear up some confusion: who is the father of Labor Day?

A: When studying the history of Labor Day, two names stand out, and the funny thing is that they sound just alike. One is Peter J. McGuire, a leading official in the American At that time, the labor movement was Federation of Labor and organizer growing stronger. Many of the unions of the United Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners. The other is in New York prospered by joining together into one Central Labor Union Matthew Maguire, a machinist from made up of members from many local the Knights of Labor. The problem with declaring a single “founder” of unions. On May 14, 1882, a proposal was made at the Central Labor Union Labor Day is that, at the time, no one realized that a new national holiday meeting that all workers should join together for a “monster labor festival” was being born. It was only after the fact that people tried to pinpoint a in early September. A committee of single founding father. five people was appointed to find a park for the celebration. They chose Wendel’s Elm Park at 92nd Street and Seven years after that first New York Labor Day parade, the union 9th Avenue, the largest park in New York City at that time; the date was set journal for the United Brotherhood of Carpenters published an article for Tuesday, September 5. By June, claiming that their union brother, they had sold 20,000 tickets with the McGuire, made the original proposal proceeds going to each local union to have the Labor Day event in New selling them. In August, the Central Labor Union passed a resolution “that York and called for one day a year to the 5th of September be proclaimed a be set aside as Labor Day. This article general holiday for the workingmen in was reprinted yearly, and it became the common assumption that these this city.” were the facts. At first they were afraid that the celebration was going to be a failure. However, in 1967, a retired machinist Many of the workers in the parade from Maguire’s union stepped up had to lose a day’s pay in order to and claimed that his union brother participate. When the parade began was, in fact, the true originator of only a handful of workers were in the movement for a national Labor it, while hundreds of people stood Day. He pointed to an old newspaper on the sidewalk jeering at them. But article written nine years after then slowly they came – 200 workers the New York Labor Day parade and a band from the Jewelers’ Union titled “Labor Day: Its History and showed up and joined the parade. Development in the Land.” Then came a group of bricklayers This article claimed that the first with another band. By the time they Secretary of the Central Labor Union, reached the park, it was estimated Maguire, was the one who arranged that there were 10,000 marchers in the parade. This claim was supported the parade in support of workers.

six years later when the grand marshal of the New York parade of 1882 himself reminisced about how Maguire from the Knights of Labor had first suggested that the Central Labor Union call upon the unions of New York City to join together in a labor parade. So the historical conundrum seems to hinge on the fact that the two names sound alike and were probably mixed up in the common consciousness. Toss in the years of bitter rivalry between the American Federation of Labor and the Knights of Labor and, of course, you’re going to have multiple heroes emerging in the legend of Labor Day. I don’t really know if there is only one true parent of Labor Day. But when former Secretary of Labor W. Willard Wirtz spoke at the convention of the International Association of Machinists in 1968, he said: “My decision…is that there is no question as to who is the father of Labor Day in this country. Officially, as of this moment, insofar as the Department of Labor is concerned, it is Matt Maguire, machinist!” So in the question of McGuire versus Maguire, I don’t really know. But my money backs Bill Wirtz every time! Q: When did it become a national holiday and why? A: Labor Day as a national, legal holiday had an interesting evolution. The legalized celebration of Labor Day began as individual state celebrations. In 1887, New York, New Jersey and Colorado were among the first states to approve state legal holidays. Then other states joined in to create their own state Labor Days. Finally, in response to a groundswell of support for a national holiday celebrating the nation’s workers, Sen. James Henderson Kyle of South Dakota introduced S. 730 to the 53rd Congress to make Labor Day a legal holiday on the first Monday of September each year. It was approved on June 28, 1894. For More about Labor Day or to view the original article visit the Department of Labor website at www. dol.gov/laborday/history-elevator.htm


NAMI Homefront Education Program Free Course – Open to All Military Families September 9 – September 25, 2014 Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 6:30-9:00 p.m. 1662 Richards Street Southern Pines NC For Family Members, Care Givers and Close Associates of loved ones with PTSD, Major Depression Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression) Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective Disorder Panic Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Borderline Personality Disorder A series of six 2-1/2 hour sessions structured to help family members understand and support their loved one while maintaining their own well-being. The course is taught by a team of trained volunteer family members who know what it’s like to have a loved one with a mental health issue in the family. THERE IS NO COST TO PARTICIPATE IN THE NAMI HOMEFRONT EDUCATION PROGRAM. Over 100,000 family members have completed our family education courses. Those who have taken the course report that they understand mental health issues better, cope better, worry less, and feel better able to care for their ill relative. Many family members describe the impact of taking this course as “life changing.” All information is confidential!

For More information or to register: Call (800) 621-4136 Ext. 12863 or E-mail: earlene.b.capps.ctr@mail.mil   

For Family Members/Significant Others Only Program Registration Required Class size is limited. Call today!

This NAMI Homefront Education is sponsored by NAMI National NAMI NC, and NAMI-Moore County September 2014 Family Matters

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REGISTER TODAY WWW.VETERANRECRUITING.COM SEPTEMBER 11, 2014 1-4 PM EST 22

Family Matters September 2014


Cut on the dotted line and keep to remind you how to leave the bus. For more information, access the School Bus Safety Web www.ncbussafety.org.

HEY KIDS! COLOR ME SAFE!


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