Family Matters February 2010

MILY MATTERS

F Diane Coffill

Marriage Enrichment Retreats “Laughing Your Way to a Better Marriage”

State Family Program Director diane.coffill2@us.army.mil (919) 664-6324

SFC Calvin Buchan

State Family Program Assistant calvin.buchan@us.army.mil (919) 664-6124

Upcoming Schedule

SSG Ju Autry Budget Analysis ju.autry@us.army.mil (919) 664-7583

SPC Daniel Holland Human Resources Assistant dan.holland@us.army.mil (919) 664-6124

Lana Greer

State Family Assistance Coordinator

lana.m.greer@us.army.mil (828) 271-5029

February 19-21, 2010 ~ Cary March 26-28, 2010 ~ Greensboro April 23-25, 2010 ~ Mountains May 21-23, 2010 ~ Charlotte July 9-11, 2010 ~ Beach July 23-25, 2010 ~ Beach August 13-15, 2010 ~ Beach August 27-29, 2010 ~ Beach

Take your Marriage to the next level…

Renee Brotherton

FAC Team Leader renee.brotherton@us.army.mil (704) 359-5736 Kathleen Flaherty, LTC (Ret.) Wing Family Program Coordinator kathleen.flaherty.ctr@ncchar.ang.af.mil

Register to attend one of our upcoming Marriage Enrichment Retreats featuring new content “Laughing Your Way to a Better Marriage”

The North Carolina National Guard Family Programs and Chaplains are bringing spouses the 2010 Marriage Enrichment Retreat to Greensboro, North Carolina.

On March 26, 2010, you and your spouse can join other military couples for a weekend to gain skills that will fortify your marriage while enjoying a time of relaxation, recreation, fellowship, and fun.

(704) 398-4949

Pamela Hughes

State FRG Advisor pamela.hughes5@us.army.mil (919) 693-5016 ext. 13

Our Marriage Enrichment Retreat focuses on practical and useful information from world class curriculum. Over the weekend, you and your spouse will participate with other military couples in activities designed to renew bonds and strengthen communication and relationship skills through integrative techniques and tips.

Alice Dean

State Youth Coordinator alice.dean@us.army.mil (919) 664-7616 Individual Highlights Spouse Info

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Family Programs Article

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Yellow Ribbon

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Child and Youth Article

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Couple's Seminar Info

February 2010 Volume 2, Issue 2

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Single’s Seminar Info

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Stress Quiz

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Quick References

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Haiti

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Child & Youth Program

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Volunteer Spotlight

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FAC Directory

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Come join the Marriage Enrichment weekend retreat to strengthen relationships, inspire hope and rekindle marriages. Service members may be able to attend in lieu of drill with prior command approval. Lodging and Breakfast will be provided. Spouses may be eligible for additional reimbursable travel expenses.

For more information or to RSVP, contact personnel below.

RSVP By February 28, 2010 to the primary point of contact, SFC Calvin Buchan, State Family Programs Assistant, by calling 1-800-621-4136 extension 6124 or email to calvin.buchan@us.army.mil. Alternate point of contact is SGT Daniel Holland by calling 1-800-621-6124 or emailing dan.holland@us.army.mil.

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FAMILY MATTERS

SPOUSE EDUCATION BENEFITS

Building the Foundation

Taking advantage of the benefits, programs and opportunities available to you is key to a happier military life.

By Kathryn Jarvis, NCNG Family Programs

Start Your New Career or Master the One You Have Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts The Office of the Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Military Community & Family Policy has launched a pilot program for military spouses’ education. The Department of Defense (DoD) Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) program offers military spouses up to $6,000 for training, professional licenses, certifications, degree programs and credentialing in high demand portable career fields.

Many portable career fields to choose from: • Some Portable Career Fields are in industries such as, Healthcare, Education, Business Management, Financial Services, Human Resources, Hospitality, Homeland Security and Skilled Trades such as electricians, carpenters and plumbers.

• The program also covers state certification exams like the Certified Public Accountant Exam or the BAR. In addition to higher learning courses, MyCAA will cover high school completion courses, GED exams and English as a second language courses.

The opportunities for spouses are endless with the financial assistance provided through this program. Army National Guard spouse Melissa Thames is currently using the program to complete her degree in Psychology and Religious Studies May of this year. Mrs. Thames said, "The MYCAA staff and the staff at North Carolina Wesleyan College have been very helpful in assisting me with the application process and in processing my grant payments. I am very grateful for the educational opportunity that this grant is providing me as well as other military spouses."

Schools throughout the state are equipped to accept the education grants provided by MYCAA. A wide range of education institutes from State University's, Cosmetology, Professional Pilot, Massage Therapy, animal management, driving, technological and art institute's and Community College's can be found on the MYCAA list of eligible schools and programs.

The options are plentiful in a variety of programs. To get started, MYCAA advises military spouses to complete the registration and application online at lease 90-days prior to the course start date. If you prefer to speak with a MYCAA Career and Education Consultants you may call 1-800-3429647 to get your application started today.

Visit them online at https://aiportal.acc.af.mil/mycaa/.

Family Programs Hotline 1-800-621-4136 EXT 5573 Get the information you need, as we get it.

Operation Purple Family Retreats FFFrrreeeeee,,, FFFooouuurrrD R -D Daaayyy R Reeetttrrreeeaaatttsss $$$222000000 S S Stttiiipppeeennnddd National Military Family Association recently announced two Operation Purple Family retreats. These free, four day retreats are set in a National Park using nature’s classroom, where you and your family will have opportunities to strengthen and renew relationships, explore the natural surroundings, and participate in fun family-focused activities. Travel to your destination is not

included.

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The Headlands Institute, Sausalito, CA

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The Teton Science School, Jackson, Wyoming Participants will be paired with highly specialized field science educators and staff members who will guide families through various activities such as nature hikes, canoeing, campfires, beach exploration, snow shoe hikes, and more!

These retreats are open to service members and their families who have experienced deployment within the last 15 months. To be eligible to be considered for these retreats, service members must have returned from deployment no less than 3 months or no more than 15 months prior to the start date of each retreat. Travel is not included, however, families who attend will receive a $200 stipend per family upon arrival to the retreat site to cover cost of travel. The retreats are free thanks to support from the Sierra Club and the Sierra Club Foundation.

To learn more, visit the National Military Family DID YOU KNOW? Association at www.militaryfamily.org.

The NC Department of Public Instruction has a statelevel point of contact for military families with school-age children. www.ncpublicschools.org/militarysupport (888) 878-1600 or (919) 807-3376

NCNG Family Programs Pioneers Homecomings and Reunions

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By Kathryn Jarvis, NCNG Family Programs

The North Carolina National Guard Family Programs staff and personnel have been on the ground at Fort Stewart, Georgia welcoming back soldiers from the 30th Heavy Brigade Combat Team (HBCT). The 30th HBCT deployed to Iraq in 2008 covering approximately 2,000 square miles of Iraq. Cpt Richard Scoggins, Pro-Temp Public Affairs Officer for the 30th HBCT said, “Our main mission was to fall in on an operational area roughly the size of New York City and our job was to move in to continue to develop the relationships with the Iraqi Security Forces, to foster that relationship and to help build up their government and to provide the necessary security that their people need.” The Brigade was continually running full spectrum operations in their Area of Operations for almost a year.

2nd Lt. Charles Duggan, of Jacksonville, N.C., a platoon leader with Company C, 252nd Combined Arms Battalion 30th Heavy Brigade Combat Team, receives a kiss from 3 year old boy Abdullah, in the boy's home, south of Baghdad, Dec. 23. Duggan and his platoon stopped by to see the boy after his recent cleft palate surgery that was done for free through an organization called Smile Train that Duggan contacted. Photo by Sgt. Mary Phillips,30th HBCT Public Affairs Specialist.

When the 30th HBCT arrived in Iraq the soldiers hit the ground running and haven’t slowed down till their arrival at Fort Stewart.

Sgt. First Class Paul Theisen, 230th Brigade Support Battalion, says “It is a little dull, a little boring, here I am actually part of the ADVON, bringing everybody else back…turning in their mask, their equipment and stuff…it is a change…” Soon after settling into their temporary quarters the soldiers are gradually introduced to a slower paced environment.

Soldiers from the 30th HBCT receive their Welcome Briefing from North Carolina National Guard Staff and Personnel. During the briefing soldiers are given a Welcome Packet breaking down what benefits they have and who they can call.

Their Day 1 begins with a Welcome Briefing. Staff from the North Carolina National Guard briefly highlighted the important demobilization mission each section has while serving the soldiers of the 30th HBCT at Fort Stewart. Diane Coffill, Director of NCNG Family Programs welcomed the soldiers back and reminded the soldiers Family Programs is there for them. Coffill said, “We also have our Family Assistance Centers all around the

state…they are there for either you ,your family members, children and parents to talk with anyone of the services that you have heard today and you don’t have to have a military I.D. card.

Soldiers from the 30th HBCT arrive in Georgia to begin the demobilization process.

They are free services. So if you are having trouble or your parent is or your sibling is, connect with our Life Consultants.” Diane also reminded the soldiers these services will be available for them at Fort Stewart as well as for them and their families back home.

Although they are back in the United States, many soldiers agree they are not quite home.

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FAMILY MATTERS

NCNG Family Programs Pioneers Homecomings and Reunions Continued

SGT John Wright, a Medic with 1113th Field Artillery, Headquarters, Headquarters Battery, says they are not quite done with the mission at hand but the prize of knocking this out will be the reunions with families.

home. So we’re having to treat it like it’s another step in our mission…”

Each soldier arrives at Fort Stewart for approximately a weeklong demobilization through the Soldier Readiness Center process, also known as the SRC process. During this process soldiers will complete medical screenings, administrative out processing and initial reintegration back home.

While the soldiers wait to complete their final “mission” North Carolina National Guard Family Programs is there providing support and recreation at the Reconstitution Center.

Soldiers line up at the USO snack tables set up for them when they get off the plane. Tables are covered with various treats for the soldiers to snack on before loading on the buses for Fort Stewart, Georgia.

Sgt Wright said, “It felt good to land on US soil… they threw us a welcome home ceremony and stuff like that, and it was good to see the pride in the people that was there to welcome us. But it wasn’t our family and that’s tuff…when we get home and our families are there then, it’s going to be “we’re home”. We’re having to kind’a treat this” as though “…it’s still an ongoing mission.

We’ve gotta get objective accomplished before we can get

PFC Phillip Lester, 230th FSC CO D, takes his turn bowling on the Wii at the North Carolina National Guard Family Programs Reconstitution Center. North Carolina National Guard Family Programs is the first state to have the services and facility available for soldiers returning from deployments.

The Center looks like any common military building but what is inside is something new for soldiers returning home.

A Soldier from the 30th HBCT signs in at the North Carolina National Guard Reconstitution Center at Fort Stewart, Georgia.

Each soldier that walks through the doors is greeted with a warm smile and hello from one of the many staff. There you can find a North Carolina National Guard Family Assistance Center Specialist, the Director of Psychological Health for the North Carolina National Guard and Military Family Life Consultant Counselors and Financial Consultants. Family Assistance Center Network Coordinator, Renee Brotherton, said, “Our biggest goal for having our Financial Planners and our MFLC;s (Military Family Life Consultants) with us here is that we wanted to show the soldiers that we have services that are not only going to be with them here in this short period of time but when they go home. And we’re hoping that when they see a face here that they will recognize that same face back home…”

NCNG Family Programs Pioneers Homecomings and Reunions Continued

Staff Sgt Roy Sides, 252nd Combined Arms Battalion Company C, says, “The Reconstitution Center has been great for us, where we can come and relax, especially with all the down time…I think pretty much our whole company has been over here, we come over a lot. …We watch TV, drink coffee, eat lots of sweets, it’s been great.” Sides says it is nice to be able to relax and get caught up on sleep before returning to his family back home.

Sides said, “…Soon as I go home I have a 3 ½ year old that is going to run me ragged.” If soldiers aren’t showcasing their skills during Wii competitions you can find them playing an intense game of cards or just chatting about what is next for them when they get home.

But before getting back to the books he and a few of his buddies from Charlie Company are planning to get together for a skiing trip to West Virginia.

Jenkins said, “We developed a friendship over the deployment and now we like to hang out and see each other on the opposite side of the National Guard.” Sides said, “We’re all like brothers.”

Jenkins chimed in saying, “Yeah, Sgt First Class Watts is like my grandpa.”

Sgt. Charles Ranson,1-120th CAB, CO B, looks for a book to check out at the Reconstitution Centers "library" .

Soldiers from the 252nd CAB CO C, stand together for a group photo while hanging out at the Reconstitution Center. Some members from the company plan to get together for a ski trip to West Virginia after they return to North Carolina.

A Soldier from the 252nd CAB Co C, Staff Sgt. Darius Jenkins plans continue his education in Engineering at UNC Wilmington in the summer.

Sgt. Thomas Tharrington II, 1-120th Combined Arms Battalion, Company B plans to ease back into civilian life before finishing up his Degree in Operations Management at UNC Wilmington. Tharrington II said, “I got a much better plan…last time I came back I frivolously spent my money…this time I got a plan for my money and I got a plan for myself as opposed to be not so out of touch cause you have a lot of expectations I guess…the first time I didn’t really listen to the briefs and I came home and realized that no one gives a damn

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besides the people who are a part of it and family members being a part of it. That’s really the extent of someone really caring. So this time I made a bunch of movies of my regular life and wrote all my friends phone numbers down and when I come back home this time I am going to slowly step my way back into calling them and go spend the week with my family.”

Already Tharrington is getting on his schedule. Before leaving Iraq he and his friends back home planned a ski trip to the North Carolina Mountains.

Tharrington II said,” I’m going skiing as soon as I get home Friday the 29th…so I’m not quite home yet. I’m going to take my time even getting back into my own house, like I’m not going to bring my dog back for probably a month and a half until I’m ready and I am in a set routine for now.

Each soldier has a different way and technique for transitioning back into civilian life. Making and dealing with the change is something the Army cannot spell out in a regulation or directive but the North Carolina National Guard is being proactive in the homecoming process. Military Family Life Consultant Counselors are licensed counselors available to assist soldiers in life skills and decisions.

Sometimes the issues are not something that requires clinical treatment and sometimes they are.

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FAMILY MATTERS

NCNG Family Programs Pioneers Homecomings and Reunions Continued

The North Carolina National Guard Director of Physiological Health, Stephanie Nissen, came to Fort Stewart as a “preemptive strike…we wanted to make sure we were taking care of our own…”

Nissen provides clinical assessments to soldiers in need of assistance and links them to the appropriate place for continued care. Nissen said, “I don’t want to see anybody go back into the hills, the mountains or the coast of North Carolina and disappear and have some horrible issue that I could have helped them with from day 1.”

Nissen and others have noticed a positive response towards the Reconstitution Center and services provided. Brotherton said, “I’ve had so many come in and say that they appreciated us being in here so much and that it gave them, you know, they are not home, but it gave them a sense of welcome and a place to decompress…” Brotherton says soldiers are smart, they know when people are faking it and “if they can see the heart of any of these folks (support staff) they know that they are there for the right reasons and they (soldiers) are going to take advantage of them.

Yellow Ribbon Next steps for "Coming Home"

Sgt. Thomas Tharrington II, 1120th Combined Arms Battalion, Company B, signs the North Carolina National Guard Family Programs Welcome Board at the Reconstitution Center.

That is what Family Programs is there for, to serve the ones and the families who serve the United States and North Carolina.

YELLOW RIBBON PROGRAM

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The North Carolina National Guard Yellow Ribbon Program provides hands-on support and information for Servicemembers and families throughout the deployment cycle. That means information and support for you during pre-deployments, deployments, reunion and reintegration.

Because Combat Changes Things

By Angelena Dockery, NCNG Family Programs Because Combat Changes Things is the title of a booklet found on the Military OneSource table at a recent Yellow Ribbon event. It seems to sum-up the entire purpose of the Yellow Ribbon program.

Michael and Traci Ecker, during a January Yellow Ribbon event for B Co. 3-20th Special Forces Group unit.

An ever-true concept as many National Guard members and families have experienced more than one deployment. Combat does change things. It changes people, relationships, families, circumstances and maybe more than we can name.

Yet North Carolina’s Yellow Ribbon Program is staffed by qualified specialists dedicated to hosting first-class events for those who sacrifice the most. To make what you face easier to challenge.

In January, members of B Co. 3-20 Special Forces and their families were in Cary, N.C., for a reintegration event. Gone are the days of intermittent support and services for military members and their families.

Brandon and Misty Belton at the Yellow Ribbon event at Embassy Suites in Cary.

YELLOW RIBBON TEAM

800-621-4136 EXT. 6054 John Gattis Program Director john.gattis@us.army.mil David Coffill david.coffill@us.army.mil SGT Khan Eakin khan.eakin@us.army.mil Adam Garrity adam.l.garrity@us.army.mil Lola Lawson lola.lawson@us.army.mil Ken Martinsen kenneth.martinsen@us.army.mil Gerald Murray gerald.murray@us.army.mil David Nobles david.nobles@us.army.mil Chris Rosehart christopher.rosehart@us.army.mil

The Yellow Ribbon programs, under the leadership of John Gattis (State CSM, Ret.), Yellow Ribbon Director also team up with Family Programs to put together the events. Mr. Gattis mentioned how pleased he was that the Yellow Ribbon program is in place here in North Carolina.

Army Guard spouse Misty Belton said, “It’s a good program. I’ve gotten a lot of good information about programs and services I didn’t know anything about.”

During the weekend, the couples attend sessions together as well as apart. Content is centered on issues that are relevant to where members are in the deployment cycle. During this reintegration event, information on battlemind was presented separately to Soldiers and Spouses.

SFC Nobles, who works with the Yellow Ribbon team, said “these types of programs and services weren’t around when I was deployed.” He mentioned how members and families just had to deal with, without this level of support.

Nobles said, “Yellow Ribbon provides big benefits. It focuses on the family and the Soldier throughout the entire deployment cycle.”

While Soldiers and Spouses are getting the rundown on issues such as battlemind or coming together again, our youngest ones are set apart to receive their own training. (continued on next page)

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FAMILY MATTERS

YELLOW RIBBON PROGRAM

(continued) When asked what’s going on with the kids during the Yellow Ribbon events, Kristi Wagner, Youth Coordinator, passionately revealed their new curriculum, developed by 4-H for Operation: Military Kids. The curriculum is entitled “Deployment Cycle Support Yellow Ribbon Youth Outreach.” It’s content includes life skills such as communication, resiliency and managing feelings, as well activities.

Vendor’s Pavilion

“Different material is available to support the different types of Yellow Ribbon events, from predeployment to sustainment to reunion,” said Wagner.

Wagner added, “We want them to understand that they play an important role in the family. It’s not just that role as a military kid, though, we also teach them about giving back and community service. In fact, the children made flag thank-you cards for the VA Hospital as their community project.”

Grouped together based on age ranges, the kids play games inside and enjoy outside team building fun. Yet, it’s not all play; there is meat and substance behind what the North Carolina National Guard Child & Youth Program delivers during Yellow Ribbon events.

Guard children are taught flag etiquette and the meaning of the American flag. Alice Dean, State Youth Coordinator said, “It’s important for our children to understand the importance of the flag and its significance. It’s also important for them to know how to handle it.”

Listening to Wagner, it became obvious that the most important part of what was happening at Yellow Ribbon programs is perhaps with our Guard children. Wagner said, “This is not babysitting. We’re explaining to them ‘why’ on their level. …why Mom or Dad has to be gone and how it may be different when he or she gets home.”

‘Because combat changes things,’ it is comforting to know that the NC National Guard is changing right along with it to give what’s most needed as military families living in communities.

The NCNG Yellow Ribbon Program features an onsite vendor’s pavilion stacked with representatives and information from military-connected organizations ranging from USO or Red Cross, to Tricare, to Military OneSource and beyond.

The pavilion is also filled with a range of educational institutions on-hand to provide members and spouses with information to further their career or begin a new one.

See page 2 for information on spousal education grants worth up to $6,000.

Kristi Wagner, Youth Coordinator, with kids at a recent Yellow Ribbon Reintegration event. Also shown are material from their program.

North Carolina National Guard Family Programs: Helping Children One Step at a Time

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Children of military families are tough and versatile. They can conquer change with grace and fortitude. They are different because of the challenges they face and unique in how they conquer them. Family Programs in North Carolina is dedicated to be there through each “step” or challenge they face.

ATTENTION: KIDS ON GUARD WEEKEND CAMP APRIL 23-25 CAMP BUTNER STEM, NC

Dedicated staff provides support through several programs such as Kids on Guard, Kiddies on Guard, Child and Youth activities at Yellow Ribbon Events and the North Carolina National Guard Youth Council. During these events and programs children learn by the “hands on” approach.

*Register Early.* Call Bridgette 1-800-621-4136 ext. 7664

By Kathryn Jarvis, NCNG Family Programs

Our Kids on Guard and Kiddies on Guard programs familiarize military dependent children with the lingo and protocol of the military. They learn to march and even get a taste of physical fitness training. They do this with other children that have a common connection not found with others they may know. There mom or dad does this stuff as part of their job in the military.

Mrs Kina Boles, wife of CPT Joe Boles, Commander of the 113th Field Artillery, Battery A, feels it is important her 11-year old daughter, Hana, participates in the Kids on Guard event. She believes Hanna needs to be at the Kids on Guard event with other kids going through what Hanna is going through and while she is there she will have a chance to learn more about what her father does and do the same thing her father does. Hanna “knows bits and pieces…she knows they do formation everyday even over in Iraq they have formation, they do PT” and at the Kids on Guard event Hanna “is doing the same thing her father does.” Mrs. Boles says now Hanna can “reconnect” with her dad when they talk because now Hannah can say to her dad, “I went to formation today…and you know he (CPT Joe Boles) can understand that as well and well I did too, yours was at 10:00 o’clock (am) and mine was at 6:00 o’clock (am).” Kids on Guard and Kiddies on Guard programs provide children with the foundation for a strong sense and understanding about their parent while bridging the gap between civilian and military lifestyles; such as deployments.

To stay connected Family Programs offers helpful insight to children during the Department of Defense Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program events. They provide the same interactive “hands on” approach through each step of the deployment process for children of all ages. This is accomplished by stimulating an environment which fosters openness about their feelings and some of the stresses they may be under.

Children learn how to recognize and communicate their feelings. This may be done when they are decorating t-shirts to honor their parent who is serving in the military or by finding others feeling or going through what they are through subtle interactions during activates. The North Carolina National Guard Family Programs Child and Youth Coordinator, Alice Dean says, “I have seen children at these events open up through the activities and talk about their families and share their situations both positive and negative.” She said, One child told me she didn’t know there were others going through the same deployment phases.” Each Yellow Ribbon Child and Youth curriculum is tailored to focus on the particular phase of the deployment process the families and service members may be in. This program offers children and families another chance to grow together and share knowledge.

Children’s resiliency during hard times such as deployments is amazing and many have their own experiences and stories to tell. North Carolina Families programs developed a youth council to help the youth get the word out through the North Carolina National Guard family Program Youth Council.

The Youth Council provides a gateway for military dependent children to become more involved in the military community and affords them the chance to focus on them. The teen council’s mission statement is “to unite, educate and empower the

THE CREED OF THE SOLDIER’S CHILD I am a child of an American Soldier and my family is a team.

Together we serve the people of the United States of America.

Whether together or apart-we’re a team!

To honor Dad or Mom, country, God or family; I always strive to do my duty. Learn my lessons; do my chores: Love my family and neighbors; Pray for American military: Celebrate American victory.

A Soldier’s child is honest and brave. I will honestly cry when I am sad, But bravely stand behind my dad or mom: And we stand proud beneath the flag; And watch Old Glory wave.

I am a child of an American Soldier and my family is a team, Together we serve the people of the United States of American: Whether together or apart-we’re a team!!

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FAMILY MATTERS

RELATIONSHIP ENHANCEMENT

Becoming a Couple Again

How to Create a Shared Sense of Purpose after Deployment

Coming together as a couple after war deployment isn’t always easy or something that happens naturally. It requires effort, and an understanding that each person has grown and changed during the separation. A positive way to think about this is that both of you, service person and spouse, have developed your own sense of purpose coping with new experiences while apart. What’s important now is to come together and create a “shared sense of purpose”, that is essential for your well being as a couple, that of your children and your life in the community. This won’t happen overnight; it will take time, mutual compassion and a desire to do so. Here are four steps to help you create a “shared sense of purpose”.

STEP#1: Understand Each Other’s Sense of Purpose During Separation The returning service member’s sense of purpose has been shaped by: • Traumatic events that can be difficult to process and talk about.

• Identification and closeness with their military unit and comrades who have shared similar experiences.

• Regimentation in the form of highly structured and efficient routines.

• Heightened sensory experiences including sights, sounds and smells.

• Expanded self-importance and identity shaped by war.

The spouse’s sense of purpose has been shaped by: • New roles and responsibilities. Many spouses have assumed new or more taxing employment, oversight of finances and child rearing.

• Community support trade-offs. Some spouses and children left the military base to stay with parents and in-laws for various reasons, but will have experienced loss of connection with their military community, its familiarity and support.

• Emotional changes. Some spouses may have experienced growing independence and thrived on it; others may have found this a difficult time leading to depression, anxiety, increased alcohol or substance use and abuse, and other symptoms of stress.

STEP #2: Recognize that the following concerns upon return are common, often shared or felt indirectly, and will require mutual adjustments and time: • Home. Life at home does not have the edge and adrenaline associated with wartime duty, which often leads to let down, disappointment and difficulty shifting gears.

• Children. Reconnecting with one’s children is an anticipated event by service member and spouse. Children react differently depending upon their age, and can be shy, angry, or jealous as new bonds are reestablished. Discipline will now be shared, often resulting in conflicting opinions and styles.

• Relationship. Concern about having grown apart, growing close again without giving up individual growth and viewpoints, issues of fidelity, and being able to discuss these issues without raising more anxiety or anger challenge many couples.

• Public. While there has been widespread support of the service member, the public has mixed views of the war. Protracted deployment and an upcoming election may polarize the public, promoting media coverage that can undermine the pride and purpose military families feel about their involvement.

STEP #3: Relationship Breakers: Most couples argue about three things: sex, money and children.

Understanding the potential of these issues to divide rather than unite is key to reestablishing a shared sense of purpose. These issues involve: • Intimacy. Intimacy is a combination of emotional and physical togetherness. It is not easily reestablished after stressful separations creating an emotional disconnect.

Partners may also experience high or low sexual interest causing disappointment, friction or a sense of rejection. In due time, this may pass, but present concerns may include hoping one is still loved, dealing with rumors or concern about faithfulness, concern about medications that can affect desire and performance, and expected fatigue and alterations in sleep cycles.

• Finances. During the deployment, most service members and families received additional income from tax breaks and combat duty pay, as much as $1,000 extra/month. Some families may have been able to set aside appreciable savings; other families may have spent some or all of the money on justifiable expenses and adjusted family budgets. This may create disagreement that can hamper the important work of building shared trust and financial planning as a couple essential to moving forward.

• Children. Children have grown and changed during deployment.

Some returning soldiers will see children for the first time. It is important to build upon the positive changes in your children, and work as a couple to address issues of concern that need improvement or attention. Discipline of children will now be shared and should be viewed as something that can be built together rather than criticized or ignored.

Step#4: Relationship Makers. Here are some thoughts and tips for building a shared sense of purpose and stronger family.

• Expectations. Remember that fatigue, confusion and worry, common during this transition, often lead to short tempers. In that frame of mind, it is easy to revert to the relationship breaker issues listed above. If this happens, suggest taking time out and return to discussions when both parties feel more relaxed.

Continued on page 4

RELATIONSHIP ENHANCEMENT Becoming a Couple Again (continued) • Enjoy life. Find and do activities that are pleasurable such as a movie, a family picnic, bowling or shopping. Create time in your weekly schedule to do something as a couple, as a family, and one-on-one activity that is shared between returning service member and his/her child or children.

• Give thanks. Together, thank those people, family, friends, co-workers and new service member buddies, who have helped you and your family during this deployment. Showing appreciation through writing notes together, calling people or visiting them will bring a sense of fulfillment that reunites each other’s experiences.

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• •

•

Communicate. Talking together builds a shared sense of purpose. Desire to communicate is more important than details. Service members often prefer to discuss war stories with military buddies to protect their spouse and family from traumatic memories. Spouses should not be offended.

Other ways to communicate involve physical activity. Take walks, work out together or engage in a sport. Healthy communication involves processing feelings, new information and relieving stress. Read, draw, paint, dance, sing, play an instrument, volunteer at church or in the community to keep a sense of perspective and individuality as you grow together as a couple.

Let time be your friend. Time may not mend everything, but it is often one of the most important factors in healing and solving problems.

Be positive. A positive attitude is one of the most important gifts you can bring to each other and your family during this time. Appreciating what one has gives strength and energy to a family and a couple. Special circumstances such as physical injury and psychological problems are not addressed in this fact sheet, and require additional support, information and resources.

Know when to seek help. Both service member and spouse have endured a level of stress, uncertainty, worry and lonesomeness that can affect one’s health and mental health. If either spouse or service member suspects they may be suffering from a health or mental health problem, it is essential to seek help. Many service members do not want to seek help for mental health problems from the military for fear of damaging their career.

However, the consequences of letting a problem linger untreated can be much more damaging. There are excellent treatments including medications that can help people reclaim their lives and enjoy their families, as they should. You owe it to yourself and your family to be in good health.

We hope this fact sheet is helpful and something you will hold onto and refer to in the months ahead. Service members and spouses should feel proud of the important contributions both have made to our nation. Now it is time to reunite with loved ones and enjoy a shared sense of purpose and togetherness. **Taken from A Health Promotion Campaign, Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences, www.usuhs.mil.**

Save the Date

30th HBCT Welcome Home Ceremony April 11, 2pm RBC Center, Raleigh Additional Details Coming Soon

11

Single Soldier Retreats “How NOT to Date a Jerk”

Tentative Dates//Locations March 19-21: Mountains April 23-25: Beach The North Carolina National Guard Family Programs and Chaplains are bringing single servicemembers the 2010 “How Not to Date a Jerk Retreat” to the beaches of North Carolina. Not all people are “cut out” to date someone in the military. In March or July you can join other military servicemembers for a weekend to one your skills and knowledge on dating the right person for you.

Our “How Not to Date a Jerk” Retreat will focus on teaching you how to recognize compatibility and how to pace yourself while dating or in a relationship. Over the weekend you and others will participate in activities designed to help you identify traits and personalities in yourself and others for establishing successful relationships.

Come join the How not to Date a Jerk weekend retreat to help strengthen relationships, inspire hope and create meaningful matches.

Service members may be able to attend in lieu of drill with prior command approval. Lodging and Breakfast will be provided. For more information or to RSVP by the deadline contact personnel below.

RSVP 30 Days Prior to your event selection to the primary point of contact, SFC Calvin Buchan, State Family Programs Assistant, by calling 1-800-621-4136 extension 6124 or email to calvin.buchan@us.army.mil. Alternate point of contact is SGT Daniel Holland, by calling 1-800-621-4136 extension 6124 or emailing dan.holland@us.army.mil DID YOU KNOW? Parents, now is a good time to start thinking about plans for your children this summer!

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12

FAMILY MATTERS

STRESS QUIZ Rate yourself as to how you typically react in each of the situations listed

Stop Stressing.

Stop Living.

below. There are no right or wrong answers.

4 = Always 3 = Frequently 2 = Sometimes 1 = Never Enter a number in the box for each question. When you complete the questionnaire, add up you total number of points and type it in the box. An answer key is provided below.

1. Do you try to do as much as possible in the least amount of time?

2. Do you become impatient with delays or interruptions?

3. Do you always have to win at games to enjoy yourself?

4. Do you find yourself speeding up the car to beat the red light?

5. Are you unlikely to ask for or indicate you need help with a problem?

6. Do you constantly seek the respect and admiration of others?

7. Are you overly critical of the way others do their work?

8. Do you have the habit of looking at your watch or clock often?

9. Do you constantly strive to better your position and achievements?

10. Do you spread yourself "too thin" in terms of your time?

11. Do you have the habit of doing more than one thing at a time?

12. Do you frequently get angry or irritable?

13. Do you have little time for hobbies or time by yourself?

14. Do you have a tendency to talk quickly or hasten conversations?

15. Do you consider yourself hard-driving?

16. Do your friends or relatives consider you hard-driving?

17. Do you have a tendency to get involved in multiple projects?

18. Do you have a lot of deadlines in your work?

How’s Your Stress Level?

Hey! You should contact one of our Military Family Life Consultants. MFLCs are trained on topics such as stress and how to better manage the stressors in your life.

John Alleman Adult and Family Specialist john.b.alleman@healthnet.com (919) 745-9635 Betty Steelman Youth and Family Specialist bettys.ncmflc@gmail.com (919) 665-9178 Asheville: ng.mflc.lenoir@gmail.com (828) 729-0729 Charlotte: ng.mflc.charlotte@gmail.com (980) 213-6458 or 6459 Greenville: ng.mflc.greenville@gmail.com (252) 295-8558 Morrisville: ng.mflc.morrisville@gmail.com (919) 627-4360 or 4361 Wilmington: ng.mflc.wilmington@gmail.com (910) 508-6170 You can also contact our Director of Psychological Health for the North Carolina National Guard, Stephanie Nisssen, LMHC & LPC at (919) 257-8863.

19. Do you feel vaguely guilty if you relax & do nothing during leisure?

20. Do you take on too many responsibilities?

TOTAL

Obtained from Sweet Briar College, Academic Resource Center. Author of quiz unknown.

Answer Key If your score is between 20 and 30, chances are you are non-productive or your life lacks stimulation.

A score between 31 and 50 designates a good balance in your ability to handle and control stress.

If you tallied up a score ranging between 51 and 60, your stress level is marginal and you are bordering on being excessively tense.

If your total number of points exceeds 60, you may be a candidate for heart disease.

13 AT YOUR FINGERTIPS

QUICK REFERENCE DEERS/ID Cards: 1.800.538.9552 TriCare: 1.888.363.2273, www.tricare.osd.mil Transition Assistance: Andy Jackson, 919.664.6573 American Red Cross: 877.272.7337, www.redcross.org National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1.800.273.TALK (8255) Veteran’s Affairs (VA) The VA offers Readjustment Counseling Services for service members and their families working toward readjustment and many other services. Hours of operation are Monday thru 񊀀Friday from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. or check www.va.gov.

Locations Charlotte Vet Center: (704) 333-6107 Fayetteville Vet Center: (910) 488-6252 Greensboro Vet Center: (336) 333-5366 Greenville Vet Center: (252) 355-7920 Raleigh Vet Center: (919) 856-4616

Need a number you can’t find? Check out the last page for your nearest FAC Rep ... sure they can help!

C Co ou un nsse elliin ng gO Op pttiio on nss ((adopted from www.militaryonesource.com))

Military OneSource – www.militaryonesource.com Private Help 24/7, Call and Talk Anytime 1.800.342.9647

Military OneSource offers three kinds of short-term, non-medical counseling options to active-duty, Guard, and Reserve members and their families (eligibility chart).

Military OneSource counseling services are designed to provide service help with short-term issues such as adjustment to situational stressors, stress management, decision making, communication, grief, blended-family issues, and parenting-skills issues.

Your Privacy in Counseling Sessions Counseling sessions are kept confidential, within certain guidelines. All counseling adheres to the same informed consent, Confidentiality/Privacy, and reportableevent protocols. A family member may seek counseling without the knowledge or consent of the service member. A Military OneSource consultant can explain the limits of confidentiality in more detail.

FACE-TO-FACE COUNSELING

TELEPHONE CONSULTATIONS

ONLINE CONSULTATIONS

Description

Military OneSource arranges for you to meet face-to-face with a professional counselor in your community.

For those unable to attend face-to-face counseling (because of their location or other circumstances), Military OneSource arranges telephone consultations.

For those who prefer communicating online, this option uses instant-messaging, with the consultant and participant communicating online in real time.

Availablility

Available to those in the continental U.S., Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands.

Available to those who are located outside of this area or are unable to attend in-person counseling.

Available to those located anywhere. You must have a computer to access the session.

Get Started!

Face-to-Face Counseling FAQs

Telephone Consultation FAQs

Online Consultation FAQs

Access this option by calling a Military OneSource Consultant at 1-800-3429647.

Access this option by calling or e-mailing a consultant.

SCHEDULE AN ONLINE CONSULTATION If you have a session scheduled, LOGIN TO YOUR ONLINE CONSULTATION

Counseling Limitations Each eligible service member or family member may receive up to 12 sessions, per issue, per counselor at no cost. If you need counseling for a different issue, you must call Military OneSource and speak with a consultant to get another referral for a different counselor. You can see a counselor for a maximum number of 12 sessions. Those requiring counseling for long-term medical issues will be referred to TRICARE or a military treatment facility.

Duty-to-Warn Military OneSource has the technology, the procedural infrastructure, and the highly trained staff to ensure that each user is treated confidentially and with respect regardless of rank. However, there are exceptions. Military OneSource consultants have a duty to report family maltreatment (spouse, child, elder abuse), threats of harm to self or others, substance abuse, and illegal activities. These reports are made to the appropriate military and civilian authorities. Since counselors are an extension of Military OneSource, these reporting requirements apply to them as well.

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14

FAMILY MATTERS

H HA AI IT TI I… …… …… …… …… …… …… …… …. .. .. .

EEA ARRTTH HQ QU UA AK KEE RREESSPPO ON NSSEE THE NORTH CAROLINA NATIONAL GUARD FAMILY PROGRAMS STAFF WOULD

LIKE TO EXPRESS OUR

HEARTFELT AND SINCERE SADNESS OVER THE TRAGEDY FOLLOWING THE

EARTHQUAKES IN HAITI.

WITH THAT IN MIND, WE WOULD LIKE TO PROVIDE

THE FOLLOWING GUIDANCE RECEIVED FROM OUR STATE PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICE.

Monetary donations are preferred to commodity contributions.

Anyone wishing to donate or provide assistance in Haiti following the devastating earthquake that struck near Port au Prince in January, is asked to contact the Center for International Disaster Information at www.cidi.org or call 703-276-1914.

To immediately help, you can also simply text "HAITI" to "90999" and a donation of $10 will be given automatically to the Red Cross to help with relief efforts, charged to your cell phone bill. Or you can go online to organizations like the Red Cross and Mercy Corps to make a contribution to the disaster relief efforts.

For more information on how to donate, visit www.whitehouse.gov.

All offers of assistance to the earthquake situation in Haiti, whether technical assistance or commodity, MUST be registered with the CIDI database. For more information on how to register, visit www.usaid.gov , www.cidi.org or call 703-2761914. If inquiring about American employees in Haiti, please contact the State Dept Bureau of Consular Affairs Overseas Citizen Services at 1-888-407-4747.

Internet users who receive appeals to donate money in the aftermath of earthquakes in Haiti should apply a critical eye and do research prior to responding to those requests. Past tragedies and natural disasters have prompted individuals with criminal intent to solicit contributions purportedly for a charitable organization and/or a good cause. Before making a donation of any kind, consumers should adhere to certain protective guidelines. For further information, please visit FBI’s web site.

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Which federal agency is responsible for disaster assistance outside US Borders?

The United States Agency for International Development also known as USAID, Office of US Foreign Disaster Assistance is responsible for providing emergency assistance to areas impacted by disasters or emergencies outside the United States borders. For more information on relief efforts, please call 703-276-1914 or visit www.usaid.gov.

How can my business or organization volunteer? Volunteer opportunities in disaster settings are usually limited to people with prior disaster experience and technical skills (such as health, engineering, etc). To register your skills and experience for a possible volunteer opportunity, go to the Center for International Disaster Information's registration page. For opportunities to volunteer overseas in non-disaster settings, visit Serve.gov. Or read about Volunteers for Prosperity (www.volunteersforprosperity.gov), a volunteer program managed by USAID. FEMA’s mission is to support our citizens and first responders to ensure that as a nation we work together to build, sustain, and improve our capability to prepare for, protect against, respond to, recover from, and mitigate all hazards.

Legal Assistance & Tax Prep Services Available

Why stress over preparing your taxes when you can have them done for free by a qualified professional? Do you have a legal concern? Our specialists can assist you with a range of legal matters including family law, estate planning, real property, personal property, debt collection, credit issues, civilian criminal matters and tax matters.

Don’t go it alone! Legal professionals will be onsite in your area in February to assist you. All you need to do is make an appointment. All legal assistance and tax preparation services are free and confidential. Remember, though, assistance is by appointment only. If you make an appointment and can’t keep it, please let us know in advance so that someone else can utilize the slot.

Here are the dates we’ll be in your area:

February 3—Kinston Armory February 10—Wilmington Armory February 17—Greensboro Armory February 24—Charlotte Armory We also provide legal assistance and can help with your taxes at our Raleigh office Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays by appointment only.

Family Programs Legal Assistance ncnglegalassistance@hotmail.com Reita Smolka, (919) 485-9565 Chris Alderson, (919) 485-9564 130 Penmarc Drive, Suite 110 Raleigh, NC 27603

Financial Counselors

Know where you stand with your money and your future. All financial advice is free to military members and their families. We can also meet you near where you live in a public setting. Services are confidential. Don’t let money prevent you from having the new year you desire. For more information, contact one of our certified financial experts.

David Porter, AFC, Certified Financial Planner (704) 280-9555 (East NC) Additional Certified Financial Planner (980) 329-8467 ncng.pfc@gmail.com

Get our latest news and updates on

search “North Carolina National Guard Family Programs”

Child & Youth Program OUR MILITARY KIDS

This is an update for all of you. If it has been over six months since you applied for a Our Military Kids Grant or if this is your first time, you still have time. The 60 days remaining on servicemembers orders has temporarily th been waived. Our families of the 30 still have chance to put in for a grant. The grant has to be in before end date on orders. This is an excellent opportunity for a child to participate in summer camps/activities. If you are being deployed, check now to take advantage of this free opportunity for your child. Call us with questions.

Sincerely, Alice Dean

If you or your spouse are in the National Guard or Reserves and are deployed overseas, Our Military Kids can help pay for sports, fine arts and tutoring programs for your children.

That’s up to $500 per qualified-activity, per child.

Visit www.ourmilitarykids.org.

Valentine’s Craft Project Be My Valentine: Stained-glass Hearts Total Time Needed: 1 Hour Materials  Crayons (light and bright colors work best)  Handheld pencil sharpener  Waxed paper  Large paper grocery bags  Ironing board and iron  Scissors  Permanent marker Instructions: 1. Peel the paper off the crayons. Use a pencil sharpener to shave them over a large sheet of waxed paper, spreading the shavings thinly and leaving a wide blank border around the edges of the paper.

2. Place a flattened paper bag on your ironing board, then set the crayon-covered waxed paper on top of it. Cover the shavings with a second piece of waxed paper and then another flattened bag. Heat the iron on the medium or wool setting, then slowly and evenly press the surface of the top bag (a parent's job). Continue ironing until the crayon shavings are evenly melted (peek under the bag to check).

3. Once the waxed paper is cool, your child can cut out a bunch of hearts. If he opts for larger hearts, he can use a permanent marker to print greetings directly on them. Smaller confetti-style hearts are great for filling store-bought cards.

Variations: For an extra-special surprise, hang a stained-glass heart in this simple stand-up frame. To make one, cut two 4-inch squares out of colored card stock. Cut matching 2-inch-wide circles from the centers of the squares and discard them. Now cut 1-inch notches in each square as illustrated in the diagrams at right. Fit the squares together so that the notches interlock, as shown, and use thread and tape to hang a heart in the opening.

Child care locator and Subsidy for Active Guard Reserve, Military Technician and Servicemembers on Title 10 or Title 32 The National Association of Child Care Resources and Referral Agencies, also known as NACCRRA, offers Child care free assistance to National Guard and Reserve Servicemembers who are either Active Guard Reserve, AGR, Military Technicians or currently serving on Title 10 or Title 32 orders.

The amount of assistance is based upon the families‘ total income, location of family and amount of funds available. Regardless of Rank, the servicemember will be eligible for at least $100 dollars towards their childcare as long as the facility is licensed by the state and legally operating. In addition to the subsidy, NACCRRA specializes in helping spouses and servicemembers locate child care facilities to meet your needs in their community.

To apply call Child Care Aware at 1-800-424-2246 , Monday-Friday 8:30a.m.-7:00p.m. EST, or go online at www.naccrra.org. Select Military Programs on the bottom left side of the page and select the branch of service you or your spouse is in.

If you would like to apply online and have limited access to a computer visit your local library or ask a Super Family Assistance Center nearest you. Please note that not all Family Assistance Centers are equipped with networked computers for use.

2025 National Guard Drive, Morrisville, 27560 15 FAX: (919) 664-6156

Alice Dean

State Youth Coordinator (919) 664-7616 alice.dean@us.army.mil

Bridgette Carroll KOG Coordinator (919) 664-7664

bridgette.carroll@us.army.mil

Kristi Wagner

Youth Coordinator (919) 664-7625 kristi.wagner@us.army.mil

3rd Annual NC Operation Military Kids Visual Arts Contest

NC OMK is excited to announce the 3rd Annual NC Operation: Military Kids Visual Arts Contest. The contest is open to all North Carolina youth. Age categories are 58, 9-10, 11-12, 13-15, and 1619. Designed to introduce youth to the Visual Arts as a part of the 4-H Expressive Arts Curriculum, youth will utilize their skills and their artistry to capture their views of America and patriotism.

This year's themes are: -Celebrating Military Careers; Honoring Our Heroes; and Growing Up in America Contest rules and guidelines can be found at www.nc4h.org/military/index/ html or http://www.operationmilitaryk ids.org/public/statePOCHome .aspx?state=North%20 Carolina Eligibility of Photos: All visual art must have been created by youth between the dates of January 1, 2010 and the time of entry.

Entry Deadline: ENTRIES must arrive in the North Carolina 4H Youth Development Office, postmarked no later than Friday, April 30, 2010.

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16

FAMILY MATTERS

Spotlight on Volunteers Pamela Hughes State FRG Advisor 105 West Spring Street Oxford, 27565 (919) 693-5016

Above & Beyond Gail Dawes (left) and Courtnery Schlichte (right) help Pam Hughes, State FRG Advisor, load food boxes into the back of her car. Their efforts helped Family Programs assist military families in need with food items and gift cards. Thank you Gail, Courtney and the countless others whose heartfelt efforts help support North Carolina National Guard families.

pamela.hughes5@us.army.mil

Family Readiness Support Assistants Charlotte Donald Homes donald.homes@us.army.mil (704) 359-5707 Clinton Sarah Strickland sarah.r.strickland@us.army.mil (910) 299-5466 Goldsboro Greg Smith gregory.paul.smith@us.army.mil (919) 739-5319 Jacksonville Judy Richardson judy.r.richardson@us.army.mil (910) 347-4352/line 11 Morrisville Jim Roberson james.roberson@us.army.mil (919) 664-7655

Volunteer Award Nominations Deadline for submission is March 15. There will not be an extension.

March 15 is the absolute cut-off date. Applications received after that date will not be considered. The National Guard Regional Volunteer Team (NGVRT) will meet to determine this year's award recipients. Awards will be presented at the National Volunteer Conference and Youth Symposium in New Orleans.

Nominations or questions should be sent to: Paula Sumrall paula.sumrall@us.arm

We would like to give a big "Kudos" to Gail Dawes and some of her co-workers at the John Deere Company located in Cary, NC. Gail is the FRG Volunteer Leader for the 30th STB located in Durham, NC. She has been in a volunteer position for approximately four years and became leader in 2008. Her husband is with the 30th STB that is currently deployed. Gail contacted me back in October and wanted to know how she and a group of her co-workers could assist soldiers and/or family members for the Holiday season.

A suggestion that they quickly adopted was to help us with a food drive so that when a family contacts us in an emergency during the holidays - mainly nights and weekends - then any of our Family Assistance Center locations may be able to assist with food items until further resources could be made available.

The group of co-workers that assisted was Courtney Schlitke, Monica Grimsley, Pam Foy and Gail. They set boxes on each floor of the John Deere Building asking for all to help support with canned goods, dry staples, drink mixes, etc. When all was said and done, a total of 23 boxes of food and an overwhelming amount of gift cards to local grocery stores were collected.

Gail took this idea back to her coworkers and Supervisor's and off they went.

~Pam

We cannot say enough about how this project helped us beginning immediately once we picked them up. We would like to say "THANK YOU" to Gail and all the others there at John Deere for going above and beyond their expected roles to assist those in need!!

It was truly a great pleasure for me to meet all those involved and to experience what giving is all about!!

Family Assistance Staff

17

Asheville Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 7 Yorkshire St. Suite C, 28803/Fax: (828) 274-8572 David Ponder, FAC Network Coordinator, david.ponder@us.army.mil, (828) 274-8571 Mark Woolbright, FAC Specialist, mark.woolbright@us.army.mil, (828) 274-8571 Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 4240 West Blvd., 28208/Fax: (704) 359-5759 Rachel Talbott, FAC Specialist, rachel.talbott@us.army.mil, (704) 359-5756 Lynn White, FAC Specialist, lynnwhite2@us.army.mil, (704) 359-5769 Family Programs staff members at quarterly training session in December.

Hi There, if you look to the right, you’ll notice that we’re calling each of our centers a little something different. Don’t worry, we’re rebranding to ensure that the quality service, time and attention that you are used to continues.

We have three different types of FACs. One is based inside an armory, you may see it from here on out as called a “Unit Family Contact Center or UFCC.” Our other FACs, if you remember, were opened at an armory but in a different location. We used to refer to those as our “Super” FACs. Now you’ll see them as our “State Family Assistance Centers or SFACs.” The SFACs are located at an armory – just in a different building. Finally, our newest FACs are located in local communities across the state. You’ve heard it called our “Storefront” FACs. Now, we’re simply referring to them as “Military Family Resource Centers or MFRCs.” The changes are only in the name. Just know that we’re here for you if you need us. We have lots of great programs, services, activities and plans to ensure the continued success of our Guard community. Please call on us if you need us. Or, better yet, check out our locations to the right, and stop by. We’d love to see you.

Our Guard family is extremely busy now with the redeployments of the 30th HBCT, which impacts more than 4,000 Soldiers and thousands of families, as well as other units deploying and coming back home.

All of our staff are connected to the Guard or military in some way; so we have a passion for what we do.

We look forward to introducing you to our staff in our March newsletter.

In whatever phase of the deployment cycle you’re in, we’re hope that you are making the most of whatever life deals you. My staff and I stand ready to assist you and your family because we truly care.

Hey, send us your ideas and suggestions and let us know how we’re doing from time to time and what we can do to enhance our Family Programs. Let me encourage our couples to attend our upcoming Marriage Retreats, and our single servicemembers to sign up for one of our new Singles Seminars. It’ll be fun.

Yours truly, Diane Coffill State Family Program Director

Fayetteville Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 449 East Mountain Dr., 28306/Fax: n/a Amy Wallace, FAC Specialist, amy.wallace3@us.army.mil, (910) 672-5125 Greensboro State Family Assistance Center (SFAC) 110 Franklin Blvd., 27401/Fax: (336) 691-7725 Katy Jones, FAC Network Coordinator, katy.m.jones@us.army.mil, (336) 691-7712 Sandy Harrison, FAC Specialist, sandy.harrison1@us.army.mil, (336) 691-7763 Greenville State Family Assistance Center (SFAC) 1401 N. Memorial Dr., 27834/Fax: (252) 551-6136 Henry Noble, FAC Network Coordinator, henry.noble@us.army.mil, (252) 551-5669 Jamie Jones, FAC Specialist, jamie.jones9@us.army.mil, (252) 551-5865 - Will be moving to Kinston Armory on/about February 15, 2010.

Kannapolis Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 6001 Gateway Ctr. Dr., Suite 109, 28081/Fax: (704) 359-5759 Shane Judd, FAC Specialist, shane.judd@us.army.mil, (704) 788-4553 Doretha McLaughlin, FAC Specialist, doretha.mclaughlin1@us.army.mil, (704) 788-4554 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center (SFAC) 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd., Lenoir, 28645/Fax: (828) 757-4519 Nancy Davis, FAC Network Coordinator, nancy.davis3@us.army.mil, (828) 757-4365 Frances Johnson, FAC Specialist, frances.johnson3@us.army.mil, (828) 757-4365 Raleigh Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 130 Penmarc Dr. Suite 110, 27603/(919) 334-9966/Fax: (919) 334-9971 Chinequa Knight, FAC Network Coordinator, chinequa.knight@us.army.mil, (919) 334-9966 Lottie Anderson, FAC Specialist, lottie.anderson@us.army.mil, (919) 334-0195 Valencia Green, FAC Specialist, valencia.green@us.army.mil, (919) 334-0196 Kay Teseniar, FAC Specialist, kay.teseniar@us.army.mil, (919) 334-9957 Marci Thames, FAC Specialist, marci.thames@us.army.mil, (919) 334-0197 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 406 Hospital Rd., 27577/Fax: (919) 934-2901 Abby Millsap, FAC Specialist, abby.e.millsap@us.army.mil, (919) 934-2013 Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 500 Morganton Rd., PO Box 1317, 28387/Fax: (910) 692-3659 David Butler, FAC Specialist, david.earl.butler@us.army.mil, (910) 692-8747 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC) 2412 Infantry Rd., 28412/Fax: (910) 251-7130 Jim Marley, FAC Specialist, james.marley@us.army.mil, (910) 251-7195 Wilmington Military Family Resource Center (MFRC) 3114 Randall Pkwy., 28403/Fax: (910) 343-1776 Judy Howard, FAC Network Coordinator, judy.m.howard@us.army.mil, (910) 343-1775 Jamie McCormick, FAC Specialist, jamie.mccormick@us.army.mil, (910) 343-1775