Family Matters September 2010

Family Matters September 2010—Volume 2, Issue 9

Taking Care of Living

Spouse Coping Strategies Employment Readiness Upcoming Events Also Inside

~Translating Military to Civilian ~Taking Care of Yourself ~Free SAT and ACT Prep Software ~Final 2010 Kids on Guard Day Drill

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Director’s Column

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“Guarding Families on the Homefront”

Family Matters Diane Coffill

Diane Coffill, State Family Program Director, with a military kid at a Family Programs event.

State Family Program Director diane.coffill2@us.army.mil (919) 664-6324

SFC Calvin Buchan State Family Program Assistant calvin.buchan@us.army.mil (919) 664-6124

Dear Families,

SSG Kitange Jordan

Fall is here. We hope that all of your Children are adjusting well to being back in school, if they were out for the Summer.

Budget Analysis kitange.n.jordan@us.army.mil (919) 664-7583

Along with Fall comes more changes. I bet everyone is looking forward to cooler weather, hopefully coming soon.

SGT Daniel Holland HR Assistant dan.holland@us.army.mil (919) 664-6124

PFC Carrie Stevens HR Assistant carolyn.stevens1@us.army.mil (919) 664-6000 ext. 6876

Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator lana.m.greer@us.army.mil (828) 271-5029

Renee Brotherton FAC Team Leader renee.brotherton@us.army.mil (704) 359-5736

Kathleen Flaherty, LTC (Ret.) Airman & Family Readiness Program Manager

kathleen.flaherty.ctr@ncchar.ang.af.mil

(704) 398-4949

Pamela Hughes State FRG Advisor pamela.hughes5@us.army.mil (919) 693-5016 ext. 13

Alice Dean State Youth Coordinator alice.dean@us.army.mil (919) 664-7616

For our September Family Matters, we’ve chosen to focus on “Taking Care of Living.” For Military Families who are living through the deployment cycle, you are faced with changes that you can see and, then, there are those changes that you can’t see. Please take a look at the Military OneSource article, “Taking Care of Yourself When Your Spouse Has a Combat Stress Injury.”

Whether you’re a Single Soldier, a Parent, Loved One, or a Spouse, much of the information is still relevant on what you may be experiencing.

I’d like to introduce you to our newest endeavor, the NC Employment Readiness Program. Also, take a look at the upcoming changes to the Military Spouse Advancement Account Program so you can take advantage of it.

Much of taking care of living includes being aware of what you face as a Military Family and accessing the benefits and resources available to you.

Our FACs have planned some fun events, and you’ll also see other activities planned for you across the State.

If you are in need of assistance, please give us a call. We’ll also be calling to check in on you and your Family to see how you’re doing.

Wishing you and your Family all the best, Diane Coffill State Family Program Director

Become a Fan

Get the Latest Updates on Facebook Search “North Carolina National Guard Family Programs.”

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Community Cares | Adopt a “Friend” in Need A Pet In Need Is a Friend Indeed A new Charlotte non-profit is helping match pets in need of homes with veterans in need of companionship. Called Hounds4Heroes (H4H), the group is devoted to placing animals in need of forever homes with veterans who can benefit from the companionship, and unconditional love and support those animals can provide. Founders Jennifer Bennett and Hilary Walls started the nonprofit in 2010 after reading an article about how companion animals help veterans recently returned from combat.

“My dad served in Vietnam as a medic and returned with PTSD,” said Bennett. “I sympathize with his suffering because I have General Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. My dogs help me when I’m having a very hard time, by just allowing me to snuggle up to them or taking them for a walk. Hounds4Heroes gives me an opportunity to help both veterans like my dad and animals in need. I believe it is my life’s purpose.”

Hounds4Heroes made their first match on May 28, 2010 by partnering with the Charlotte Vet Center, an outpatient counseling center. They matched Army Vietnam Veteran Dewey Friday with Sissy; a six-year-old Feist from Project Halo, one of Charlotte’s largest pet rescue organizations. Friday attends the Vet Center weekly for individual and group therapy.

Just recently H4H matched Corporal Derek McQuain, who was an infantryman in 33 India Company, 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Division with Cain, a German Shepherd mix. McQuain’s deployments to Afghanistan in 2004 and 2005, and then Iraq in 2006 and 2007 left him with posttraumatic stress disorder.

“It’s a medicine that you don’t have to take out of a bottle,” said McQuain.

Loretta Deaton, a team leader with the Charlotte Vet Center believes the work Hounds4Heroes does will help veterans better adjust to civilian life and deal with their experiences from active duty. “I have witnessed first-hand the effect dogs have on the mental health of our veterans,” said Deaton. “By permanently placing companion animals, I believe Hounds4Heroes is positively contributing to our veterans’ on-going readjustment.”

Hounds4Heroes hopes to be a resource for veterans in Charlotte who are dealing with the emotional effects of serving our country. They are also working on programs for the VA hospitals in Salisbury and Fayetteville. They are currently looking for another veteran to place an animal with. Hounds4Heroes would especially like to help someone who has served in either Iraq or Afghanistan. According to Bennett, “We have lots of dogs, funding and programs in place, but we need more veterans who wants animals.”

This organization will be at the upcoming Yellow Ribbon Events. If you are unable to attend the events call Hounds4Heroes at the contact information below.

If you are a veteran who is interested in adopting a dog, you can call H4H at (704) 9003933. If you have a general inquiry, are interested in volunteering with H4H, or are a health care provider who would like to provide referrals, please send an email to jenn@hounds4heroes.org for the quickest response.

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NC Employment Readiness Program The NCNG Family Programs Office would like you to know about a new program in the works to assist NC National Guard Members and Spouses with various employment issues.

The NC Employment Readiness Program is being created to expand employment and career opportunities to help improve the financial readiness of North Carolina’s Military Families. Our desired result is to improve Family financial readiness to help increase overall force stability and deployment readiness.

How to Accomplish the Mission Warriors in a stable, military-friendly work environment (whose Spouses are in a similar situation) will have far less anxiety and stress before, during and after deployment.

There are three key components in the plan to accomplish this mission:  Create and/or improve partnerships with local, regional and national companies operating in North Carolina; with the goal of expanding employment opportunities for Warriors and their Families.  Train Warriors and Family members to utilize current resources; understand their own marketable skills, abilities and experience; and improve their job-seeking skills  Provide opportunities for Warriors and Family members to connect with employers seeking to fill current and future positions. This will be accomplished through Job Fairs (both virtual and in person), online job search programs and direct application through veteran’s and military support organizations.

To learn more, contact: David Ponder NC Employment Readiness Specialist Direct Line: (828) 274-8571 david.ponder@us.army.mil Looking for ways to save?

Need help creating a budget?

Want to understand the new credit card laws or more?

Contact David Porter Personal Financial Counselor (704) 280-9555

Not Just Another Program It is not the goal of this initiative to invent a new department or service organization, but rather to focus and consolidate current resources and the efforts of various organizations to have a real effect on the employment status of Reserve Component Members and Families.

There are several organizations and programs with which we are already partnered and there are continuing efforts to seek out and partner with organizations that will provide beneficial services. The Army Spouse Employment Partnership and the Employment Partnership Office of the Armed Forces are examples of our current partnerships.

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September is “Update Your Resume Month” Translating Military to Civilian Keeping Information Up-to-date is just as important as using employer buzz words when you do it.

1. Make your Skills, Qualifications and Accomplishments attractive.

2. Entice the employer to want more from you...an interview.

3. You are already on your way to preparing for the interview with your resume. Use it as your guide.

Words that Pop

Careers for Transitioning Military (www.taonline.com/mosdot) has a Military to Civilian Crosswalk search that allows users to enter in a MOS to find convertible civilian positions. Included are key terms and “buzz” words that employers search for electronically and physically.

ACROSS 3. to make the most of; to increase to a maximum 5. to get or attain as the result of exertion: Reach 6. to search or investigate exhaustively 1 2

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ACROSS (continued) 8. to cause to develop an organic structure/to form into a coherent unity or functioning whole 9. to make fit (as for a specific or new use or situation) often by modification 10. to perceive a difference in : discern: to single out 11. to obligate or pledge oneself 12. to make known or familiar DOWN 1. to list or rate (as projects or goals) in order of priority 2. a : to bring to a state or position of equipoise b : to poise in or as if in balance c : to bring into harmony or proportion 4. to bind oneself to observance: to give support or maintain loyalty: seven letters to the rules 7. to play a significant part in bringing about an end or result Answers on Last Page

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Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) New Changes

Underway for the Spouse Tuition Assistance

Program, MYCAA The Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) program provides up to $4,000 (over 2 years) of Financial Assistance for military spouses who are pursuing degree programs, licenses or credentials leading to employment in portable career fields.

Some refer to the MyCAA as Spouse Tuition Assistance.

Eligibility  Available to spouses of active duty service members in pay grades E1-E5, W1-W2, and O1-O2  Offer a maximum financial benefit of $4,000 with a fiscal year cap of $2,000. Waivers will be available for spouses pursuing licensure or certification up to the total maximum assistance of $4,000  Require military spouses to finish their program of study within three years from the start date of the first course  Be limited to associate degrees, certification, and licenses

New Financial Assistance Guidance Beginning October 25, 2010, new MyCAA financial aid guidelines will take effect. These changes will help ensure the program's longevity in assisting spouses with receiving financial aid and finding portable careers. Military OneSource Career and Education counselors will also play a much more active role in supporting military spouses.

Army Reserve Soldiers must be on active duty for their spouses to receive the MyCAA benefit. Spouses may no longer use the MyCAA benefit when the service member is in an alert or demobilization period.

Spouses of Army Reserve Soldiers must be able to start and complete their courses while their sponsor is on Title 10 orders.

ACTION REQUIRED: Spouses who currently have an active account as of July 20 2010, must request approval of a career plan not later than August 31, 2010. Beginning September 1, 2010, through October 21, 2010, spouses with active accounts may request financial assistance for classes with a start date up to (but not beyond) January 15, 2011. All currently approved financial assistance documents will be honored.

For more information, including eligibility requirements and program goals, visit www.militaryonesource.com.

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Taking Care of Yourself When Your

Spouse Has a Combat Stress Injury This article can be found at MilitaryOneSource.com Overview Information, strategies, and resources to help Families cope with a loved one’s combat stress injury.

• What you need to know • Impact on Family members • Coping strategies • Other resources

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re you wondering how to keep your-

self and the rest of your Family healthy and strong while living with a combat veteran troubled by anxiety, depression, substance abuse, or too much anger?

If a member of your Family has returned home from deployment changed by behavioral and emotional symptoms of combat stress or trauma, your life has probably changed, too. It’s important to understand how your own health and outlook may be affected as you try to give your loved one comfort and support. This article will give you information, strategies, and resources to ease the strain of living with and caring for someone with a combat-related stress injury.

“It’s often the natural outcome of exposure to...being in a high-stress environment for a prolonged period of time.”

What You Need to Know

Photo by Staff Sgt. Dave Lankford. Courtesy of US.Army.mil Ph

Combat stress is a common reaction to the stressful, dangerous, and disturbing experiences of war.

It’s often the natural outcome of exposure to one or more traumatic or life-threatening events, or of being in a high-stress environment for a prolonged period of time.

Everyone is changed in some way by combat experiences. But most report that, with a little time and rest, their initial symptoms of stress “re-set” so that they feel functional again. For some, however, the symptoms of combat stress are actually symptoms of an injury, and these can become a longer-term mental health problem.

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Spa Time

The Asheville Military Family Resource Center invites Military Families to a day of relaxation, at our “Spa Day.” Bring your kids, we will keep them occupied while you enjoy a Haircut, Manicure and a Pedicure. A professional makeup consultant will be on-hand and you’ll also enjoy a quick pick-meup Massage.

Reserve your space to get pampered by September 24th.

Contact Debra Collington at (828) 274-8571 or debra.a.collington.ctr@us.army.mil.

Bring Family Unity Back to Life during the 2010 National Family Day “A Day to Eat Dinner with your Kids” September 27, 2010 According to CASA’s (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, Columbia University) report The Importance of Family Dinners V, compared to children who have frequent family dinners (five or more per week), children who have infrequent family dinners (less than three per week) are: • Twice as likely to use marijuana • Twice as likely to use tobacco • More than one and a half times likelier to use alcohol It’s never too early to start the tradition of regular family dinners with your children. Make dinnertime special by turning off the TV and not answering the phone during mealtime. To download a free Family Dinner Kit that includes menu cards, placemats and recipes that you can use, visit: www.CASAFamilyDay.org.

Join parents all across the country in logging onto www.CASAFamilyDay.org to take the Family Day STAR Pledge to commit to: Spend time with your kids by having dinner together Talk to them about their friends, interests and the dangers of drugs and alcohol Answer their questions and listen to what they say Recognize that YOU have the power to keep your kids substance-free!

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(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 8) Additional Symptoms 

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Avoiding activities, places, people, or thoughts that may be reminders of a traumatic event Re-experiencing an event through flashbacks, nightmares, and painful recollections Sadness, depression, and/or isolation Risky behavior such as drug or alcohol abuse and unsafe driving Mood swings Loss of confidence and trust Loss of interest in life

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Symptoms Symptoms of combat stress sometimes begin immediately after a traumatic experience, but in many cases, weeks, months or even years pass before they become apparent.

Often, the symptoms emerge or are first noticed 30 to 90 days after the service member returns home. Common symptoms most likely to affect Family life and relationships include:    

Angry outbursts, irritability, or aggressive behavior Being constantly on guard or easily startled Loss of positive or loving feelings toward loved ones Feeling numb and without emotion

“Often, the symptoms emerge or are first noticed 30 to 90 days after the Service Member returns home.”

When symptoms of combat stress continue for weeks or months without improving, or they get worse, it may mean the person has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a medically recognized anxiety condition that can occur after exposure to trauma. It isn’t clear why some people develop PTSD and others don’t, but it is clear that having PTSD is not a sign of personal weakness. Anyone exposed to a severe traumatic experience is at risk. Perhaps the most important thing to remember about combat stress and PTSD is that the service member should get professional help if symptoms continue for more than a few weeks, worsen, or interfere with normal daily life. There are effective treatments, and getting help early can prevent symptoms from worsening or becoming a long-term problem.

(Continued on Page 11)

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(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 10) The resources listed at the end of this article will help you learn  more about the causes, symptoms, and treatments for combat stress and PTSD.  

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Impact on

Family Members

If your combat veteran has symptoms of combat stress that haven’t improved (or has been diagnosed with PTSD), you’re probably also feeling stressed from coping with his or her behavior and attitude changes. It can be frightening to witness angry outbursts. And it’s heartbreaking to see someone you love be withdrawn and depressed, paranoid and hypervigilant, or tense and anxious, for reasons that are difficult to understand. Negative feelings Spouses, children, parents, or siblings living with a person who has combat stress symptoms may experience conflicting and often painful emotions as they invest time and energy into trying to help their loved one feel calm and happy. Don’t be surprised if you experience some of these negative feelings at different times or at the same time: 

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confusion over what has happened to your loved one and what you need to do to be supportive resentment about the changes in your life and the demands

of your new role as caregiver sadness that your loved one is not the same person you used to know fear that things will not get better isolation from trying to give the appearance of normalcy and not having anyone to open up to frustration when your loved one doesn’t acknowledge symptoms and rejects your efforts to help guilt for having negative feelings toward your loved one or for not being able to make things better

“Confusion, Resentment, Sadness, Isolation, Frustration”

Caregiver Burden When a combat veteran has PTSD and symptoms continue over time without improving, the lives of Family members become centered on the role of caretaker.

If you’re in this situation, you may: 

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believe it’s your responsibility to keep your loved one calm and comfortable at all times have taken over all the responsibility for finances, child rearing, and household upkeep feel that you have to control the circumstances that trigger symptoms (and you become keenly aware of what these are) have set aside your friends and your interests in order to care for your loved One (Continued on Page 12)

North Carolina National Guard Military Family Life Consultants John Alleman Adult & Family Specialist (919) 745-9635 Betty Steelman Child & Family Specialist (919) 665-9178 Give us a call if you’d like to talk someone about what you may be facing or experiencing. We’re here to help.

Services are free and confidential.

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(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 11) “Caregiver burden” is a term used to describe the physical and emotional strain of caring for someone with a chronic illness or dysfunction, which PTSD sometimes becomes. Symptoms of caregiver burden include anxiety and stress, depression, social isolation, and health problems. The worse a veteran’s PTSD symptoms are, the more severe caregiver burden is likely to be.

Effect on Marriage With the many changes in combat veterans’ feelings and actions when struggling with PTSD, and their Family members’ natural reaction to these changes, it’s easy to understand why PTSD is a serious threat to marriage and Family relationships. In fact, research has shown that couples coping with PTSD are at much greater risk for:  

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marital dissatisfaction by one or both partners problems parenting children domestic violence divorce

“...there are many things you can do to reduce caregiver burden…”

Coping Strategies If you’re living with a combat veteran who’s been diagnosed with PTSD, or who’s showing the symptoms without receiving a diagnosis or treatment, there are many things you can do to reduce caregiver burden and protect your marriage and Family. These suggestions from PTSD experts have helped many Family members manage the changes in their lives:

more you know about its causes, symptoms, treatment, and what you can do to help, the easier it will be for you to handle the impact on your Family. Start with the resources listed at the end of this article, which have links to even more information resources.

Encourage your loved one to get help. Many combat veterans need encouragement to seek mental heath care. Be sure to share what you’ve learned about effective treatments and the importance of getting help early. Care for PTSD is available through the military health system (www.health.mil), the VA health care system (www.va.gov), and many community mental health care providers.

If you’re not sure where to turn for help, talk to a Military OneSource consultant at 800-342-9647.

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chronic marital conflict loss of physical and emotional Learn as much as you can about intimacy combat stress and PTSD. The

Apply Today for Operation Purple® Family Retreats

Operation Purple Family Retreats are open to service members and their Families who have experienced deployment within the last 15 months. To be eligible, service members must have returned from deployment no less than 3 months and no more than 15 months prior to the start date of each retreat. Travel expenses are not included. However, Families who attend will receive a $200 stipend per Family before departing from the retreat site to offset the cost of travel. The retreats are free thanks to support from the Sierra Club and the Sierra Club Foundation.

September 17-20 YMCA of the Adirondacks, Silver Bay, New York October 1-4 Outer Edge Performance, Larkspur, Colorado October 15-18 Pocono Environmental Education Center, Dingmans Ferry, Pennsylvania December 17-20 YMCA Camp Erdman, Waialua, Hawaii For more information visit www.militaryFamily.org/our-programs/operation-purple/Family-retreats.

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(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 12) 

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advice. You can encourage  Spending some time alone Give permission to be injured. your loved one to open up by to think and renew your spirit You can help erase the stigma asking questions like “Are you (you might try writing your preventing many combat veterfeeling sad?” (or angry, worthoughts in a journal) ans from getting mental health ried, frustrated, etc.). Good  getting out to take part in treatment by giving your loved listeners repeat what they hear activities you enjoy one permission to be injured. to show they understand and  eating healthy foods, exerYou might say something like ask questions when they don’t cising, and getting enough “It’s OK if you’re not OK.” This understand. sleep (Many caregivers exsimple statement demonpress difficulty sleeping strates your acceptance of the • Allow yourself to grieve. If themselves. Seek help from service member’s injury and someone you love is not who your primary care provider helps to create a supportive he or she once was, you feel it for sleep regulation, if you environment in which he or need it.) she can start to see that seek“Practice positive  Consider counseling or a suping treatment will benefit everyone in the Family. port group. If you find that theExamine the expectations you se strategies are not enough communication.” to ease the stress in your life, have of yourself and make individual counseling or a supsure they’re reasonable. Famias a loss. You may need to port group for PTSD Family ly members often believe they permit yourself to members may give you the must take care of their loved acknowledge your loss and let reassurance and coping skills one’s every need and make out your feelings about it in you need. Couples counseling everything perfect at home. private or with outside support with your combat veteran can But you can’t fix the problems from friends, Family, clergy, or also be helpful. You may be brought on by PTSD. Too a counselor. able to get this support where much coddling can lower a your loved one is receiving person’s self-confidence and  Stay involved with Family and treatment for PTSD. Or you friends. Sometimes Families make symptoms worse. And can call Military OneSource at coping with PTSD try to give trying to do everything will only 1-800-342-9647 and get a rethe appearance that everything add to your stress. It’s OK to ferral for the option that works is fine, and they keep friends let some things go. best for you. and relatives in the dark about Practice positive communicawhat they’re coping with. But tion. PTSD often leads couples it’s important for your wellinto negative and hurtful com(Continue On Page 15) being to have a support sysmunication patterns. It helps if tem. Make an effort to open up you talk to your loved one in to people you trust, who will ways that are clear, to the listen without judgment and point, and without blame. And protect your Family’s privacy. See the video NCNG Teens made during communication works best their weekend retreat online at And try to get used to the idea when you can share your feelwww.nc.ngb.army.mil/fp or on NCNG of asking them for help when ings using statements that Family Programs Facebook, search, you need it. begin with “I” rather than “North Carolina National Guard Family “you.” For example, you might  Make time to care for yourself.

Programs” You may feel guilty if you say “I feel hurt when you don’t focus on your own needs, but pay attention to what I’m saybeing able to care for yourself ing” instead of “You never pay is vital to being able to care attention when I’m talking.” for someone else. Important Be a good listener. It’s imways to care for yourself inportant to know how to listen clude: without interrupting or giving

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Unit Events

Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program Events

Freedom Salute Events “Featured Guest Hound4Heroes” September 10 -12 621st EN BN—30/60 PDHRA Gastonia September 25 105th EN BN—Reunion/Homecoming Cary For additional information, call:

(800) 621-4136 EXT. 6054

HHC/1-120th CAB Saturday, September 18, 9:30 a.m.

Northside Baptist Church 2501 N. College Rd., Wilmington HHC, 230th BSB Sunday, September 19, 2 p.m.

Dillard Academy, 504 West Elm St., Goldsboro A Co, 230th BSB Saturday, September 18, 10 a.m.

Location: TBA, Benson B Co, 230th BSB Saturday, September 18, 1 p.m.

Dunn Armory, 901 Susan Tart Rd., Dunn

FAMILY DAYS Lexington National Guard Community Day September 11, 1-5 p.m.

201 West 9th Ave., Lexington 130th Finance CO Family Day September 11, 8 a.m.—5 p.m.

Siler City Armory, 800 Alston Bridge Rd., Siler City 1451st TC Family Day September 11, 9 a.m.—3 p.m.

Lake James Picnic Area, 2785 State Hwy 126, Nebo 875th EN CO Family Day September 12, 10 a.m.—3 p.m.

Kerr Scott Dam Reservoir, 499 Reservoir Rd., Wilkesboro HHC, 630th CSSB Family Day September 12, 10 a.m.—3 p.m.

Granite Falls Park, 51 Pinewood Rd., Granite Falls

875 EN CO Det 1 Family Day September 12, 11 a.m.—3 p.m.

Camp Walter Johnson, Denton 883rd EN CO, Sappers Family Day September 12, Time: TBA Hanging Rock State Park, Danbury

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(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 13)

“If you have children exposed to your loved one’s symptoms of PTSD, they’re as frightened, confused, and stressed as you are.”

Helping Children Cope If you have children exposed to your loved one’s symptoms of PTSD, they’re as frightened, confused, and stressed as you are.

But they may have less ability to make sense of the changes in their lives. You’ll need to invest as much time and energy as you can in helping your children cope. Try to explain the reasons for the PTSD symptoms in a way that’s appropriate for the child’s age and without going into disturbing details. Create opportunities for children to express their feelings, and get away from the home environment occasionally so you can focus just on them. You’ll need to make sure children know they’re not the cause of the parent’s troubling behaviors. Sometimes children of a parent with PTSD will begin to have similar emotional and behavioral difficulties, including anxiety, depression, angry outbursts, academic problems, hyperactivity, and difficulty relating to adults and other children. These children will benefit from therapy, individually with a therapist or with their parents and a therapist. Dealing with anger and violence Uncontrolled anger is perhaps the most difficult symptom of PTSD for Families to deal with. It’s impossible to communicate with someone who’s in a rage or being verbally abusive, and it’s best not to try at that moment. A time-out system works for many couples. If anger begins to take over a dis-

cussion, one or the other gives the time-out signal, and both agree to come back together at a set time with constructive ideas for solving the problem. When anger turns into physical violence, it can be dangerous. If your loved one’s symptoms include excessive anger or the threat of violence, make sure you have identified a place to go where you and your children will be safe. If you’ve been the victim of violence, don’t assume things will get better. Get help from your installation’s victim advocate (the Family Support Center or Family Advocacy Program will connect you), Military OneSource at (800) 342-9647, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. Staying Optimistic

Other Resources

After Deployment www.afterdeployment.org Offers information and self-guided solutions for dealing with common combat stress symptoms, including self-assessment tool and links to additional information resources.

National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder www.ptsd.va.gov Go to the “For Veterans and the General Public” page. Here you can find links to information about PTSD for Families and friends and download the booklet Returning from the War Zone: A Guide for Families of Military Members. If you have children, be sure to see the fact sheet, “When a Child’s Parent Has PTSD.”

Don’t forget that one of the most important coping strategies for any problem is a positive attitude.

Most people with PTSD can recover fully or learn to manage symptoms in ways that allow them to live peaceful and productive lives.

You can take heart that, with treatment and your continued support, your Family can have brighter days ahead.

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Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-Talk (8255)

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(Taking Care of Yourself Continued from Page 15) Real Warriors Campaign www.realwarriors.net Information resources to promote resilience, recovery, and support for returning service members, veterans, and their Families. The section for Families has coping tips and resources.

Your Military Support Services www.jointservicesupport.org Each service branch sponsors information, referral, and support programs for service members and their Families. You can call or visit any installation Army Community Service Center, Marine Corps Community Services, Fleet and Family Support Center, or Airman and Family Readiness Center regardless of your branch affiliation.

If you aren’t near an installation, National Guard Family Assistance Centers are available in every state.

Military OneSource www.militaryonesource.com This free 24-hour service is available to all active duty, Guard, and Reserve members (regardless of activation status) and their Families. Consultants provide information and make referrals on a wide range of issues including support for Families coping with post-traumatic stress symptoms.

Free face-to-face counseling sessions (and their equivalent by phone or online) are also available. Call 1-800-342-9647 or go to www.MilitaryOneSource.com to learn more. ### This article was written with help from Heidi Kraft, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and consultant to military combat stress programs.

Dr. Kraft's book, Rule Number Two: Lessons I Learned in a Combat Hospital is a firsthand account of her experiences and insights while serving on active duty as a Navy psychologist with a Marine Corps surgical company in Iraq.

The Local Community Resource Finder on the National Guard Family Program site at www.jointservicessupport.org will identify your closest center.

One Stop for information about employment, mental health, finances, and more

April Prout Military OneSource NC MOS Joint Family Support Assistance Program Consultant (919) 745-0929 april.prout@militaryonesource.com

Quick Reference Guide DEERS/ID Cards (800) 538-9552 TriCare (888) 363-2273 www.tricare.osd.mil Transition Assistance Andy Jackson (919) 664-6573 American Red Cross (877) 272-7337 www.redcross.org National Suicide Prevention Hotline (800) 273-TALK (8255) Veteran’s Affairs (VA) The VA offers Readjustment Counseling Services for service members and their Families working toward readjustment.

Locations Charlotte Vet Center (704) 333-6107 Fayetteville Vet Center (910) 488-6252 Greensboro Vet Center (336) 333-5366 Greenville Vet Center (252) 355-7920 Raleigh Vet Center (919) 856-4616

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Child & Youth Program

FREE ACT AND SAT PREP MATERIAL ACT and SAT Prep free for all military and their Families. Service Members from all branches who are active duty, retired, Veterans, Guard, Reserve, DoD employees, and civilians performing military support. Also eligible are relatives and dependents of anyone who qualifies from the list. The donation is in alliance with the Department of Defense and supported by a group of patriotic NFL and MLB players. Recipients are responsible for $13.84 for the materials, shipping and handling. Please note eKnowledge does not profit from this venture.

The software may be ordered online or by telephone. To order online follow these two simple steps: 1) Visit: www.eKnowledge.com/USA 2) Enter Sponsorship Code: FMX659772 To order by telephone call (951) 256-4076

2025 National Guard Dr. Morrisville, 27560 FAX: (919) 664-6156

OPERATION KIDS ON GUARD

State Child and Youth Coordinator

Help round out the final Kids on Guard events for the year. On October 23rd, join us at the Charlotte Armory where activities will be available for ages 0-18. Military youth ages 8-16 are cordially invited to join the upcoming Overnight Weekend Camp happening September 24-26, 2010.

(800) 621-4136 ext. 7616 (919) 664-7616 alice.dean@us.army.mil

You can register for a Kids on Guard Day Drill and/or the Overnight Weekend Camp online at www.nc.ngb.army.mil under Child and Youth Programs, then Kids on Guard.

Bridgette Carroll

To register or for questions, contact Bridgette Carroll, KOG Assistant, at (800) 621-4136 ext. 8820 or bridgette.carroll@us.army.mil.

Alice Dean

KOG Coordinator

(800) 621-4136 ext. 8820 bridgette.carroll@us.army.mil Kristi Wagner Youth Coordinator

(800) 621-4136 ext. 8820 kristi.wagner@us.army.mil

Final Day Drill October 23: Charlotte Armory, 4240 West Blvd., Charlotte Overnight Weekend Camp September 24-26, 2010: Camp Butner Training Site 539 Roberts Chapel Road, Stem

See you there!

Family Readiness Groups

Joint: The new 'buzz word' in Family support

18 Pamela Hughes State FRG Advisor 105 West Spring St. Oxford, 27565 (919) 693-5016 ext. 11 pamela.hughes5@us.army.mil

By Air Force Master Sgt. Mike R. Smith National Guard Bureau

Family Readiness Support Assistants

ARLINGTON, Va., (8/4/10) -The National Guard is willing to help Family members around the country, no matter which branch or compo- Volunteers and military leaders from across the state join in New nent their servicemember be- Orleans for the 2010 National Guard Volunteer Conference longs to, the Guard's top Family programs official said Aug. 3."Families' needs are the same across the board, and we can't afford to work within just our own service," Alex Baird, chief of Family Programs for the National Guard Bureau told participants in a DoD Bloggers Roundtable. "We've got to be joint."

He added that a Family's location, financial constraints, limited local information and a need for face-to-face interaction demands that all the services make their support programs accessible to all. The National Guard has about 40,000 volunteers across the 54 states and territories, who support servicemembers and their Families, he said. "I think the biggest success is the way we've been able to use our volunteers," said Baird, who hosted the 2010 National Guard Volunteer Workshop in New Orleans this week. "We're all in the same service together, so we're willing to help anybody," he said. Baird said the Guard has made progress in communicating its Family and servicemembers support programs through the Joint Services Support Portal at http://www.jointservicessupport.org. "You can find out who the state Family program directors are, the Family assistance centers, and connect anywhere into that network, and then they can get you the help that you need," he said. " He said the Guard does not replace the programs and support of other service components, but it augments them, especially for the Families of servicemembers, who may be geographically isolated from their units. "There's a big difference between somebody who can come face to face with you and somebody who is … halfway across the country," he said.

"The other thing we find is when you've got somebody, let's say, in Kentucky that you're trying to get help … they don't really know what the services are in Minnesota. So having somebody who's local, who knows what the local resources are and support services are, is a great advantage." Baird said the other reserve components have also adopted this practice. "We know (they) never turn any of our Families away," he said.

Charlotte (704) 359-5707

Clinton Sarah Strickland sarah.r.strickland@us.army.mil (910) 299-5466

Goldsboro Greg Smith gregory.paul.smith@us.army.mil (919) 739-5319

Jacksonville Judy Richardson judy.r.richardson@us.army.mil (910) 347-4352/line 11

Morrisville Jim Roberson james.roberson@us.army.mil (919) 664-7655

Comments from Volunteer Workshop Facebook Robin Fletscher “Thank you to all the volunteers that give of themselves when our spouses are deployed. We need a solid go to organization in our area.”

“The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff vowed today to eliminate the "yes-no" box that appears on some predeployment checklists that determines whether a servicemembers' units can contact their Families during deployments.”

Sonia Brumfield Thank goodness. I've wanted that darn box gone for years!

Meet the FAC

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Kannapolis Military Family Resource Center I am Lynn White, and was born and raised in Charlotte, NC. I have two grown children and will become a “MiMe” in October with my first grandchild. Chris and Brooke are very special to me, and I am so thankful for God giving me good children. I am fortunate for the past experiences I have had. I have had my glamour job. I have worked in the NASCAR field for over 20 years. I have met some superstars with the work that I’ve done, but the real super stars are in the military (Soldiers). I am proud to be a part of this great state and also proud to be working with Family Programs - NCNG. I am honored to be able to help the Families of the Soldiers that fight for us each day.

My name is Sierra Johnson, 20 years old. I was born and raised in Catawba, NC. I have a 4 month old daughter, Zoey Leigh, my ZoeBug I call her. She is my world and then some. My Family means the world to me; after all, I wouldn’t be here today without them. I joined the North Carolina National Guard on December 22, 2006 as a 42A, Human Resources Specialist. I absolutely love everything about the National Guard and the “Family” that I have made with so many of the Soldiers. Not only have I made friends with some amazing Soldiers, I have also made friends with their amazing support systems. I pride myself in being the person in my unit that many people can come and talk to or ask any question and know that they will be helped and satisfied with my work, I look forward to being able to give the same satisfaction to their Families as well. I took this position because I love being able to help people. Being a Family Assistance Specialist, I can not only help the Soldiers, but I can help their wonderful Families as well.

My name is Shane Judd. I was born and raised in Nebraska. I attended the University of Nebraska for both Undergrad and Law school. I served in the 82d Airborne as a legal specialist for 4 years. I have a 7 year old daughter, Ally, who I love very much. I’m a former world powerlifting champion. I truly enjoy helping Soldiers and their Families. Having worked as a civilian member of the NCNG legal assistance team in Charlotte for about 2-1/2 years, I am very excited to have the opportunity to help our Service Members and their Families through Family Programs. Being able to work with such caring, creative and fun people makes this job even better.

Family Assistance Staff

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Asheville Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 7 Yorkshire St. Suite C, 28803/Fax: (828) 274-8572 Debra Collington, FAC Network Coordinator, debra.a.collington.ctr@us.army.mil, (828) 274-8571 Sue Bennett, FAC Specialist, susan.j.bennett.ctr@us.army.mil, (828) 274-8571 Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 4240 West Blvd., 28208/Fax: (704) 359-5759 Doretha McLaughlin, FAC Specialist, doretha.mclaughlin1@us.army.mil, (704) 359-5769 Rachel Talbott, FAC Specialist, rachel.talbott@us.army.mil, (704) 359-5756 Fayetteville Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 449 East Mountain Dr., 28306/Fax: n/a Amy Wallace, FAC Specialist, amy.wallace3@us.army.mil, (910) 672-5125 Greensboro State Family Assistance Center (SFAC), 110 Franklin Blvd., 27401/Fax: (336) 691-7725 Katy Jones, FAC Network Coordinator, katy.m.jones@us.army.mil, (336) 691-7712 Sandy Harrison, FAC Specialist, sandy.harrison1@us.army.mil, (336) 691-7763 Greenville State Family Assistance Center (SFAC), 1401 N. Memorial Dr., 27834/Fax: (252) 551-6136 Dawn White, FAC Network Coordinator, dawn.white@us.army.mil, (252) 551-5669 Kannapolis Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 6001 Gateway Ctr. Dr., Suite 109, 28081/Fax: (704) 359-5759 Sierra Johnson, FAC Specialist, sierra.johnson@us.army.mil, (704) 788-4554 Shane Judd, FAC Specialist, shane.judd@us.army.mil, (704) 788-4553 Lynn White, FAC Specialist, lynn.white2@us.army.mil, (704) 788-4554 Kinston Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 2875 Dobbs Farm Rd., 28504/Fax: (252) 526-2772 Limited Office Hours, Please Call Ahead Earlene Capps, FAC Specialist, earlene.capps@us.army.mil, (919) 334-9957 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center (SFAC), 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd., Lenoir, 28645/Fax: (828) 757-4519 Nancy Davis, FAC Network Coordinator, nancy.davis3@us.army.mil, (828) 757-4365 Frances Johnson, FAC Specialist, frances.johnson3@us.army.mil, (828) 757-4365 Raleigh Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 130 Penmarc Dr. Suite 110, 27603/(919) 334-9966/Fax: (919) 334-9971 Mark Woolbright, FAC Network Coordinator, mark.woolbright@us.army.mil, (919) 334-9966 Lisa Faison, FAC Specialist, lisa.faison@us.army.mil, (919) 334-0196 Earlene Capps, FAC Specialist, earlene.capps@us.army.mil, (919) 334-9957 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 406 Hospital Rd., 27577/Fax: (919) 934-2901 Abby Millsap, FAC Specialist, abby.e.millsap@us.army.mil, (919) 485-9565 Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 500 Morganton Rd., PO Box 1317, 28387/Fax: (910) 692-3659 David Butler, FAC Specialist, david.earl.butler@us.army.mil, (910) 692-8747 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center (UFCC), 2412 Infantry Rd., 28412/Fax: (910) 251-7130 Jim Marley, FAC Specialist, james.marley@us.army.mil, (910) 251-7195 Wilmington Military Family Resource Center (MFRC), 3114 Randall Pkwy., 28403/Fax: (910) 343-1776 Judy Howard, FAC Network Coordinator, judy.m.howard@us.army.mil, (910) 343-1775 Julie Rowe, FAC Specialist, julie.b.rowe@us.army.mil, (910) 343-1775

caring Knowledgeable willing

free confidential available

Crossword Answers: Down: 1. Prioritize; 2. Balanced; 4. Adhered;7. Participate; Across: 3. Maximized; 5. Achieved; 6. Researched; 8. Organized; 9. Adapted; 10. Distinguished;11. Committed;12. Familiarized

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The North Carolina National Guard is joining the nation in observing National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulty in dealing with life stressors, the most important thing to remember is that help is available to restore individual resiliency. These three resources are available 24/7 and free of charge: NCNG Director of Psychological Health, Dr. Renee Evans: 919.257.8863 Military OneSource: 1.800.342.9647 National Suicide Prevention Hotline Number: 1.800.273.TALK (8255) In calendar year 2009, the Army National Guard as a whole lost 63 Guard members to suicide. For the period 1 January through 31 July 2010, the Army National Guard has already lost 65 Guard members. Closer to home, the North Carolina Army National Guard has experienced 4 NC Guard member confirmed suicides since January 2010. This is the deadliest year on record in terms of suicide for the North Carolina National Guard. While we all recognize the effects of an unprecedented operational tempo, the challenges of serving in today’s military should not be so great that anyone is left to believe that ending their own life is an option.

As members of the National Guard, we must identify those among us who are at risk, assist them in finding alternatives to deal with life stressors, and if necessary, personally intervene. Always remember ACE: Ask, Care, Escort.

By working together, we can build ready and resilient Guard members who are able to bounce back from adversity.

Sincerely, CPT Agata Tyson Suicide Prevention Program Manager 919-664-6000 ext 6909; agata.tyson@us.army.mil