Family Matters September 2015

Family Matters Volume 6, Issue 8, September 2015

In this issue…

Meet Your Family Programs Staff

Understanding Jealousy & Preserving Trust 2015 Teen Retreat Achoo! What’s a Mom to Do? And more...

Family Matters

A Message from the Director

September 2015 Diane Coffill State Family Programs Director diane.l.coffill.civ@mail.mil (984) 664-6324 MSG Ramona Robertson State Family Programs Specialist ramona.k.robertson.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-7005 SSG Tammy Fowler State Family Programs Assistant tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil (984) 664-6876 Lana Greer State FAC Coordinator lana.m.greer.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1667 Jason Pleasant Senior FRSA matthew.j.pleasant.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7017 Alice Dean Lead Child and Youth Coordinator alice.c.dean.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6676 Terry Henderson Airman and Family Readiness Program Manager terry.r.henderson3.civ@mail.mil (704) 389-4949 About Family Matters Family Matters was created to provide Service Members and their Families the most up to date information and services available. If you would like to contribute to future issues, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler @ tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil

Hello everyone!

September...how did that happen? The kids are back in school and it’s time to settle into that familiar routine again. Up early, out of the house, homework, practice, dinner, bedtime...repeat! We know how busy you are.

We’ve been pretty busy too as you can see from this month’s Family Matters. We hope that you were able to pick up some of the back to school supplies that were donated by some WONDERFUL benefactors/supporters of the NC National Guard Family Programs.

With time being so precious, we have articles that might help you to manage the additional stress in your already busy life– “Understanding Jealousy and Preserving Trust: Keeping your Relationship Strong” and “Achoo! What’s a Mom to Do?” The busier you are, the less time you have to spend with that special someone and sometimes your personal relationships take a back seat. We have to remember to nurture those relationships even in busy times. We also know that with allergies up and time down, it is VERY concerning when the little one in your life starts getting sick. So, take a look at the “Achoo!” article. It has some good information in it as well. No one knows your children better than you so you’ll be the first to recognize the symptoms and when something is not quite right.

We are highlighting some of our GREAT NCNG kids in this edition. Talk about busy!

I know their parents are very proud of their accomplishments. So, let us know the wonderful things that your children are doing so we can highlight them as well!

We have two Kids on Guard events coming up. The Camp Weaver event is an introduction to the camp experience. If you are not sure if your child is ready to attend a full blown weekend or week long camp next year, this is the perfect event to let them see what it’s all about. Also, don’t forget that our Teen Councils are starting up again since school is back in session. Check out the flyer to locate the Teen Council meeting closest to you. Also, if you would like to see a Teen Council in your area, let us know.

I hope that you all had a wonderful and safe summer. I know that it flew by. Remember that we are here to assist you so don’t hesitate to contact us. Have a great September and we will see you next month!

Diane References in this newsletter to specific commercial products, processes, services or the use of any trade, firm corporation name does not constitute endorsement, recommendation or favoring by NCNG Family Programs.

Table of Contents 4 Meet Your Family Programs Staff 7 Understanding Jealousy 10 Spotlight on Military Families 12 Back to School Events 15 2015 Teen Retreat 16 From a Different Perspective 18 Achoo! What’s a Mom To Do?

If you would like to submit photos or stories for future issues of Family Matters, please contact SSG Tammy Fowler at tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil On the cover: Military Teens from the 2015 NCNG Teen Retreat

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Meet Your Family Programs Staff

Kristi Wagner Child and Youth Coordinator Kristi began working for the Child and Youth Program in June 2009. Her duties include the planning and facilitating of Kids on Guard events, Child and Youth camps, Teen Retreats and Teen Council events. She is certified in the Comprehensive Soldier and Family Readiness Resiliency Program and uses this to provide our NCNG Teens with resiliency skills to face everyday life challenges. Since her time with Family Programs, she has been afforded the opportunity to work with many NCNG children and families and enjoys seeing not only the program grow but the children as well.

As part of a blended family, Kristi and SFC Dean Wilson have four amazing children. Katelyn, the oldest is currently in her junior year at Liberty University. She is in the Aviation Program there and has a true love for flying.

Emily just started her senior year of high school and is the class Vice President. Jordan is a junior in high school and loves to dance. Kaleb, the only boy and the youngest, just started 8th grade. Kristi and Dean also have four “fur-babies”.

They have two dogs-Annie and Rocky and two cats – Gladys and Gracie.

In her spare time, Kristi enjoys DIY projects, cooking, gardening and spending time outdoors with the kids. She also loves to bake and everyone in the office loves to reap the benefits of that particular hobby!

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Meet Your Family Programs Staff Courtney Coyle Child and Youth Assistance Courtney recently joined the Family Programs team working as a Child and Youth Specialist in Raleigh. She graduated with her Masters of Social Work from University of North Carolina in Charlotte in May 2015 focusing on youth development and resiliency building. Working with military youth has been a passion since her involvement as a Project Y.E.S! intern for three years.

Growing up in Eastern North Carolina, Courtney enjoys outdoor activities and being on the water. She has a chocolate lab puppy named Murphy who is full of life and loves to be in the water too. She is a huge Tarheel fan and Carolina Alumni; she is the only one of her siblings to not attend NC State. Her brother is currently serving in the U.S. Navy and has been stationed in Norfolk, VA for 5 years.

Courtney loves to travel and see different places and cultures around the world. She was recently in New Delhi, India working with children. She spent last summer in Italy and lived in London during a study abroad semester. Her favorite place to visit, however, is Honduras. She travels to Honduras during Christmas time and works to help get children get off the street and into school by working with individual villages and creating community networks. She hopes to continue traveling and exploring South America and Asia.

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Understanding Jealousy & Preserving Trust: Keeping Your Relationship Strong It’s completely normal to feel a little jealous from time to time, even in the healthiest of relationships. You might feel twinges of it if your partner seems more devoted to work than to you or when a former love interest comes up in conversation. But there might be a problem if that little green monster grows from pint-sized to super-sized.

The Importance of Trust Trust is an important part of a fulfilling and safe relationship. Although trust often builds throughout the course of a relationship, trust between two people can suffer, especially if there are unresolved feelings of jealousy. How you and your partner deal with jealousy is crucial to maintaining trust and avoiding more serious problems. Healthy ways to deal with jealousy are to: 

Talk about your relationship

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Speak honestly about how you feel

When Jealousy is Unhealthy Jealousy is unhealthy when it starts to define a relationship. You might become preoccupied with jealous thoughts and constantly worry about losing the relationship. This kind of intense jealousy can lead to controlling or violent behavior as you try to get control of these feelings and become confident in the relationship. Some negative thoughts might include: 

Trying to keep your partner from spending time with others.

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Spying on your partner

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Looking through your partner’s belongings

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Insisting on knowing every detail of your partner’s activities

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Constantly asking questions about past relationships

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Threatening or intimidating your partner

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Becoming physically violent

Getting Help If you feel overcome by jealousy or are in a relationship with a jealous partner, you don’t have to manage the situation on your own. Help is available for you and your partner. A professional counselor can provide individual counseling to help you sort through your feelings or work with you as a couple to rebuild trust. Find confidential, non-medical counseling through: 

Military OneSource– 1-800-342-9647

Article courtesy of Military OneSource.

For more information, go to www.militaryonesource.mil 7

Spotlight on Military Families

Olivia Rodriguez (age 16) Daughter of SGT Joe Rodriguez Joint Force Headquarters

Olivia Rodriguez is the 16 year old daughter of SGT Joe Rodriguez of Joint Force Headquarters in Raleigh, NC. Olivia truly understands what it means to be a Military Child. Having been through two of her dad’s deployments, she understands the sacrifices and dedication required of Military Families. She is a member of the North Carolina National Guard Teen Council (Raleigh), where she serves as the Historian. She has been fortunate enough to participate in the NCNG Teen Retreat for the last two years and would encourage others to join in on the fun. The retreat has been a great experience for Olivia. She has made lots of friends that she continues to keep in contact with.

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Olivia is the youngest of three girls and a junior at C.E. Jordan High School in Durham, NC. Olivia loves sports and has played many years of volleyball, softball, tennis and swimming. This is her third year on the Jordan Falcons Varsity Volleyball team. She has also played volleyball for North Carolina Volleyball Academy for the past four years and has competed at the national level. Most recently, Olivia was named Captain of her NCVA 17 Crystal team.

Olivia is an active member of her school’s FFA chapter and the Bowtie Club. She loves animals and is pursuing an Animal Science pathway at C.E. Jordan High School. After high school, Olivia is planning to go to college and pursue a degree that will allow her to continue to pursue her love for animals.

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Partners from across North Carolina came together to ensure that NCNG kids had just what they needed to face the school year. We would like to send special thanks to Operation Homefront, Dollar Tree, Wells Fargo and John Deere for all of their contributions!

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The NCNG Child & Youth Program just completed its 5th successful Teen Retreat. This year’s retreat took place 2-7 August at the Fort Fisher Training Center and hosted 30 teens from across the state. They participated in many activities such as kayaking/canoeing, geocaching, Gyotaku, sandcast fishing and ghost crabbing. They also visited the Fort Fisher Aquarium and the Lorikeet Exhibit where they were able to feed the birds. Teens were training in the 6 core competencies of resilience (self-awareness, self-regulation, optimism, mental agility, strength of character, and connection). This training will help them to be better prepared to handle any situation and challenges they may experience in life as a teenager and beyond. These core competencies were given in a classroom environment as well as through some unique relay activities, baseball games, kite building/flying and by sharing their own project. This year’s project supported the local animal shelter. Teens recycled old sweatshirts and sweaters, learned some basic sewing skills and transformed them into cozy pet beds. The shelter representatives picked them up on the last day of the retreat and shared with the teens how things work at the shelter. They expressed their gratitude for the teens contributions and said that the shelter animals would find security and comfort in their new pet beds. The teens, some returning and some new, had a lot of fun learning and growing from new experiences, reconnecting and making new friends.

For more information on Teen Retreats and more Teen Programs, please contact our Child & Youth Team.

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From a Different Perspective: NCNG Little Sister Lauren Garner

“Shortly before my brother was deployed, my family and I attended a Yellow Ribbon event. Anyone who has had a sibling or family member deployed understands how scary it can seem at first. At the Yellow Ribbon event, my family was given resources to help both my brother and us as well as settle some of our worries. One of the resources given to my sister and I were the North Carolina National Guard Child and Youth Programs. One of the youth programs we participated in was Teen Council in Greensboro. Being involved with Teen Council has also opened up the opportunity for resilience training, Teen Retreat and the Wolfpack College and Leadership Experience as well as a page program.

Resilience is defined as the ability to grow and thrive in the face of challenges and bounce back from adversity. One might think it is hard to be resilient and they would be right. However, resilience can be found in our everyday life.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have experienced many forms of resilience.

The last week in July, I was able to be a Governor’s Page. While there, I was fortunate enough to sit in on a senate session. As I watched them debate and vote, I realized that they too had to be resilient. It would have been easy to ignore other people’s opinions and only focus on yours. Instead they faced the difficult decisions head on, collaborated and overcame the challenge at hand. I also got to meet Lieutenant Governor Dan Forrest who took the time to meet with us teens before his session. To me, this is an act of resilience because he took time to educate young people that will one day be responsible for handling our state’s challenges.

The NCNG Teen Retreat is another place I experienced resilience. While at camp, I went through Resilience Training for Teens.

Through this training, I learned useful skills such as self-regulation, mental agility and many more. The thing that stuck out to me the most was “Hunt the Good Stuff’ which is the process of taking time to reflect on the positive things that day and how they make them feel. Not only is this a good skill but people who are more positive live an average of nine years longer. Another opportunity I had this summer is the Wolfpack College and Leadership Experience. At this camp, Military Teens were given the chance to experience college life as well as gain valuable leadership skills. Resilience was also present here. Students were faced with walking around everywhere, even places they didn’t know. While this is simple, it takes getting use to and is challenging at first. Resilience was also shown in group activities. In these activities, we were challenged to come together and complete task such as making a video about our experience and creating a “college student”.

Last but not least is Teen Council. Teen Council is a group of teenaged military children who meet once a month. At these meetings, we discuss volunteer opportunities, things we would like to see done in our group and everyday issues we face. I believe this group adds to our resilience by making us realize you need the help of others and that you need to help those around you.

In conclusion, resilience can be found all through your life. Whether it be you personally or in the people around you. Do not fail to recognize it and use it as a way to improve your outlook and way of life.” -

*Lauren Garner is a senior at Randleman High School and the sister of Specialist Joshua Garner of Det 1, Bravo Co 638th Aviation Support Battalion

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Achoo! What’s a Mom To Do? What to Do When Your Baby Catches a Cold Is that a sniffle, just a couple of runny boogers or is it the start of the world’s worst ear infection? And what does snot have to do with earaches, anyway? Keeping track of every little sniffle, cough, and let’s face it, fart can be a daunting task. See what parenting expert Beth Feldmam, founder of Role Mommy has to say about spotting and treating your baby’s first cold.

While your first instinct might be to call the pediatrician’s office and make an emergency appointment, you can do a few things on your own to alleviate your baby’s discomfort.

1. Lay the baby on your lap with her head between your knees and feet near your stomach. Put two saline drops in each nostril. Your infant will not enjoy this unpleasant experience but it will help her breathe easier.

2. Use a bulb syringe to aerate the nostrils. While the baby is on your lap, simply place the syringe up each nostril and squeeze slowly to suck the mucus into the syringe. Use this method only two to three times a day.

3. Keep a humidifier in the baby’s room. An air purifier or dehumidifier can help alleviate congestion by keeping allergens and germs out of the nursery. If the baby develops a cough, take him into the bathroom, turn on the shower and hold him next to you as he inhales the steam.

4. If you have other family members in your home, ask them all to use hand sanitizer whenever they are in contact with the baby. Avoid taking her out to other people’s homes until the cold starts to dissipate.

When should you call the pediatrician?

According to pediatrician Gwenn O’Keefe, you should watch for certain cold symptoms. If the baby vomits, has excessive diarrhea, has a temperature greater than 100.5 degrees F, is incredibly fussy and can’t be calmed down or is limp, lethargic or sick looking, you should call your doctor.

O’Keefe adds, “The first cold can happen at different ages but the older the baby gets, the more days you can go before calling the pediatrician. For newborns during the first month of life, it’s better to call the first day of any sick symptoms just to touch base, especially if there is any temperature elevation. We relax this concern after a baby is in the six to eight week range.”

A mother’s intuition is often correct, so listen to it when it tells you something’s wrong. Call your pediatrician immediately, explain the symptoms to the doctor and take your newborn in for an evaluation. While home remedies sometimes can offer relief for the common cold, always consult with your pediatrician if the symptoms become more severe.

Article by: Beth Feldman www.sheknows.com

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Family Assistance Centers

Statewide Support

East Flat Rock Unit Family Contact Center 2025 Spartanburg Hwy. 28726 Rebekah Torres: rebekah.s.torres.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-0565

NCNG Service Members and Families’ First Line of Defense Call 1-855-322-3848

Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center 4240 West Blvd. 28208 Carry Bandy: carry.s.bandy.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4573 Anthony Moore: anthony.r.moore8.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4547

Military OneSource Here to help you with just about any need, by phone or online. The service is completely private and confidential with few exceptions. www.militaryonesource.mil 1-800-342-9647

Greensboro State Family Assistance Center 110 Franklin Blvd. 27401 Lynn Stenson: deborah.t.stenson2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5649 Greenville State Family Assistance Center 1401 N. Memorial Dr. 27834 Kelly Wells: kelly.a.wells8.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1150 Lenoir State Family Assistance Center 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd. 28645 Frances Johnson: frances.r.johnson28.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-1242 Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 4105 Reedy Creek Rd. 27607 Lisa Faison: lisa.m.faison.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7100 Mark Woolbright: mark.l.woolbright.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7102 JFHQ Unit Family Contact Center 1636 Gold Star Dr. 27607 Wendi Bell: wendi.h.bell.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6078 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center 406 Hospital Rd. 27577 Abby Millsap: abigail.e.millsap.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2784 Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center 500 Morganton Rd. 28387 Earlene Capps: earlene.b.capps.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-2683 Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center 2412 Infantry Rd. 28405 Jim Marley: james.e.marley.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6918 Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy. 27103 Sandy Harrison: sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil (984)-661-7131

Family Readiness Support Assistants

Raleigh Jason Pleasant matthew.j.pleasant.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-7017 Senior FRSA

Greensboro Gloria Fields gloria.d.fields.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-5620

Charlotte Nikkie Newsome genesia.k.newsome.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-4548

Morrisville George Lane george.w.lane2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 661-6313

Clinton Chekea Hinton-Mack (984) 661-4735

Raleigh Norman Dean norman.g.dean2.ctr@mail.mil (984) 664-6537

Goldsboro Gerald Murray (984) 661-5423

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