Neapolitan Family November 2022

#SWFLstrong Finding gratitude in the grief after Hurricane Ian

EVENT CALENDAR on the cover…

Maddie is a third grader at Veterans Memorial Elementary. She loves compet ing in Taekwondo, playing with her dog, and doing cartwheels. As a member of Girl Scout Troop 446, Maddie enjoys giving back, and encourages everyone to volunteer their time to support our community. Photographer Lisette Morales McCabe distributed the items purchased for the cover shoot to the Shelter for Abused Women & Children and in the Harmony Shores neighborhood in Naples.

Cover photo by Lisette Morales McCabe www.lisettemorales.com

HURRICANE IAN SPECIAL SECTION

Sponsored by Florida Farm Bureau Insurance

18 Photo Gallery. Photographer Lisette Morales McCabe captured enduring images of the despair and hope of our community as it recovers from Hurricane Ian.

27 Feeding the Hungry. Learn how World Central Kitchen is feeding those in need in SWFL. by Stacy Nicolau

28 Survivor’s Guilt. How to manage the complex emotions we are experiencing in Ian’s aftermath. by Stacy Nicolau

30 Hurricane Heroes. How one family’s relief efforts have snowballed across SWFL. by Anna Snyder

32 The Road to Recovery. A writer’s personal story of Hurricane Ian. by Andrea Stetson

34 Neighbors Helping Neighbors. People across SWFL are reaching out to help those affected by this historic storm

36 Helping Kids Cope Tips on guiding your children through recent traumatic events. by Andrea Stetson

Winter Break Camps

We welcome kids ages 4 and up to our innovative Winter Break Camps, which include festive projects and activities in Art, Theatre, Film, Music, Cooking and more. At the Centers, there’s something new to do or create each day!

Sessions 9am-12pm

vendedora de frutas, Richardo Soltero, 2017

Experience La Calavera Catrina, an exhibit featuring larger-thanlife sculptures inspired by Día de los Muertos, the Mexican holiday devoted to remembering departed loved ones.

La Calavera Catrina is organized by Denver Botanic Gardens.

Supported by:

Plan your visit at naplesgarden.org where plants and people thrive together

Children's Christmas Camp December 27-29 9:30 to 11:30 a.m.

Naples United Church of Christ

Set the gifts aside and come to Christmas Camp! All children, preschool through fifth grade, are welcome to participate. We’ll have games, crafts, snacks and more to celebrate Christ’s love coming into the world, from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. on Dec. 27-29. This is free. Don’t miss this fun!

Contact Jeanne Snedeker, Interim Director of Christian Education, by email at: Jeanne@NaplesUCC.org

NaplesUCC.org • (239) 261-5469

P.O. Box 110656 Naples, FL 34108 info@neafamily.com

from the publisher…

THIS MONTH

Hurricane Ian

Co-Publisher

Stacy Nicolau snicolau@neafamily.com 239-370-5333

Co-Publisher

Leigh Ann Newman lanewman@neafamily.com 239-272-0529

Travel Editor

Karen T. Bartlett mostlykidsguides@gmail.com 239-595-9026

Digital Editor

Emily Brockelsby

Feature Writers

Anna Snyder Andrea Stetson

Editorial submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject, or com ment editorially on all material con tributed. We cannot be responsible for return of any unsolicited materials. Articles and advertisements in Nea politan Family do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher nor does the publisher assume responsibility for statements made by our advertisers or editorial contributors. Acceptance of advertising by Neapolitan Family does not constitute an endorsement of the products, services, or information. We do not knowingly present any product or service that is fraudulent or mislead ing in nature. Neapolitan Family is avail able free of charge at distribution points throughout Collier County, as well as digitally at https://neafamily.com. Nea politan Family is ©2022 by Neapolitan Family Publishing LLC. All rights re served. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is strictly prohibited.

Thanksgiving looks different this year in Southwest Florida.

It’s been just over a month since one of the most powerful hurricanes in U.S. history made landfall in our community, eviscerating homes and businesses, and soaking decades of memories in record levels of storm surge from the Gulf of Mexico and local rivers. Hurricane Ian is the uninvited guest at our Thanksgiving dinner, and his presence is everywhere: in the piles of debris that line our streets, the atypical brown leaves on the trees, the convoys of trucks labeled FEMA or Red Cross Disaster Response, the empty chairs at the empty tables.

The day Ian made landfall, our community either experienced or learned about unimaginable losses suffered by themselves or their neighbors, teachers, friends, and families. As we gained internet and phone service, the bad news continued to spread. Southwest Floridians leapt into action, helping friends and strangers. Together, they dragged sodden furniture and appliances out to the curb. Gently laid out saturated photos to dry. Bagged up salvaged clothing to wash and return. Patted parents on the back as they found children’s artwork and toys in the grass. Handed out food and water to strangers. Donated to crowdsourcing funds. Now when asked the standard “How are you?” the response often is, “It could have been worse.”

These may be the blessings we count this year at the Thanksgiving table, whether that table is in our family’s home, our neighbor’s home, a restaurant, or our driveway. We can be grateful for the memories we saved in our homes or in our hearts, grateful for helpful neighbors, and grateful that our children returned to school as soon as possible.

In this issue, we are proud to present our special Hurricane Ian section, sponsored by Florida Farm Bureau Insurance and photographed by Lisette Morales McCabe, who introduces us to people you may not know and places you may have never seen in our community. You’ll also find out more ways to get help and to give help, and how we all can give ourselves permission to enjoy living in Southwest Florida once again.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Photo by Olivia Means

Officials Show Support for SWFL at Barron-Naples Football Game State and local officials gathered at Staver Field for the Naples High-Barron Collier High School football game on Oct. 7 to show support for the Southwest Florida community in the wake of the devastation inflicted by Hurricane Ian on Sept. 28. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis was accompanied by his family, and performed the opening

coin toss. Also in attendance were Naples Mayor Teresa Heitmann, Congressman Byron Donalds and his wife Erika; Collier County Public Schools Superintendent Kamela Patton, Ph.D.; Collier County Sheriff Kevin Rambosk; and school board members Jen Mitchell, Roy Terry, Jory Westberry, Ph.D.

“I think this game and the schools being open is a testament to the resiliency of our Southwest Florida community,” DeSantis told the crowd. Collier County Public Schools opened eight days after the hurricane, followed a day later by the first football games to take place after the storm.

Local Groups Provide Free Insulin and Diabetic Medical Supplies

Help

A Diabetic Child has partnered with Insulin for Life

USA and local organizations through the Diabetes Alliance Network to bring free diabetes medical supplies, screenings, and insulin to individuals of all ages who are dealing with diabetes and who were impacted by Hurricane Ian. “Being unable to keep in sulin at a cool temperature or complete loss of insulin and diabetes medical supplies is life threatening,” said Tami Balavage, founder and president of Help A Diabetic Child.

For more information, contact Balavage at 239-821-5051 or tami@helpadiabeticchild.org.

Facing page: Collier County school board members Jory Westberry, Roy Terry, and Jen Mitchell, and Gov. Ron DeSantis and family before the Naples High School-Barron Collier High School football game Oct. 7. Above: Spectators were treated to a helicopter flyover before the game.

Courtesy of Collier County Public Schools

ARE YOU PREPARED IN A CHOKING

Hundreds of Lives have been saved. Watch a video of a real life save here:

Choking Rescue Device

5,000 people die in choking incidents in the United States each year. LifeVac is here to change this statistic. LifeVac is the choking rescue device that has saved hundreds of lives. Protect yourself and protect your family.

By Jennifer Kupiec

Grades Aren’t Only for Students; CCPS Has Homework, Too

during a recent CCPS board meeting. “This commitment is shown in your positive culture, innovative classrooms, and a true focus on the needs of every single student.”

Part of the accreditation process includes evidence documentation, which resulted in 1,994 artifacts and 23,121 pages of evidence and stakeholder interviews with school board members, principals, teachers, students, parents, and community members. The evidence is then reviewed and rated (graded) by an external review team.

“It’s designed to help continuously improve our efforts,” said Elizabeth Alves, associate superintendent of teaching and learning for CCPS. “We were extremely pleased with this year’s results, and it was really a moment of celebration for us when we received the final report.”

“CCPS has not only earned accreditation for the next six years, but it has also earned Cognia’s School System of Distinction award based on the engagement review,” Weinbaum added

Grades, report cards, student-led conferences give valuable insight into how a child is fairing in school. What people might be surprised to know is that Collier County Public Schools also gets graded – in the form of accreditation. Accredi tation requires a rigorous self-evaluation and an independent, objective peer appraisal of the overall educational quality of school districts nationwide. It is a voluntary process designed to help educational institutions boost ongoing performance efforts for the benefit of students.

CCPS is accredited by Cognia, using the AdvancED stan dards. The Cognia accreditation process is comprehensive, evaluating all parts of the institution. It focuses on CCPS’ vision and goals, evaluates teaching and learning, and examines how results are documented and resources are allocated. In addition to holding CCPS accountable, accreditation also is important for students, as they gain greater access to federal loans, scholarships, military programs, and colleges that require students to attend an accredited institution.

The accreditation process cycle is every five years, and CCPS recently received its latest report. So how did CCPS do on its “report card”? CCPS outperformed the average for all districts by 70 points, increased its 2017 score by 22 points, and received the highest rating in 23 of the 31 standards.

“When we first offered districtwide accreditation, Collier jumped at the opportunity, and has held this position since 2007,” said Dianna Weinbaum, Cognia’s southeast region senior director,

Left to right: CCPS school board members Jory Westberry, Stephanie Lucarelli, Erick Carter, and Jen Mitchell; Dianna Weinbaum of Cognia; Superintendent Kamela Patton, Ph.D.; and school board member Roy M. Terry.

OUT & ABOUT in November

1 TUESDAY

9 a.m. Naples Botanical Garden Reopens. Also opening today is Calavera Catrina, an exhibit featur ing eight sculptures of La Catrina, one of the most recognizable figures of Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead). Runs through March 5. Located at Naples Botanical Garden, 4820 Bayshore Dr., Naples. Call 239-643-7275 or check www. naplesgarden.org.

9 a.m. Open Play. Join us for open play. Located at Mosaic Therapy, 14700 Tamiami Tr. N., Naples. Call 239-631-2953 or check www.mosaic-kids.com

4:30 p.m. Avow Kids Creative Expression. Ages 5-19 on Tuesdays. Interact with an art therapist and peers while creating art. Located at Avow, Aunt Janet’s House, 1301 Whippoorwill Lane, Naples. RSVP to 239-261-4404 or avowkids@avowcares.org.

2 WEDNESDAY

9 a.m. Safari Squad. Also Saturdays. Ages 1-4 with an adult. Animal encounter, storytime, art, and play stations. Located at Naples Zoo, 1590 GoodletteFrank Rd., Naples. Check www.napleszoo.org or call 239-315-7626, ext. 158.

3 THURSDAY

10:30 a.m. Jennifer’s Toddler/Preschool Storytime. Story, songs, rhymes, and fun activities. Registration not required. Located at Vanderbilt Beach Library, 788 Vanderbilt Beach Rd., Naples. Call 239-252-7160 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

FRIDAY

3:50 p.m. Drop-in Game Time. Ages 11+. Chess and more. Games provided. Located at Naples Regional Library, 650 Central Ave., Naples. Check www.collierlibrary.org or call 239-252-5135.

6:30 p.m. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. All ages are welcome to experience this Children For the Arts production. Tick ets sold at the door. Also Saturday at 1p.m. Pulte Family Center, St. John’s Catholic Church, 625 111th Ave. N., Naples. Check www. childrenforthearts.com or email help@childrenforthearts.com.

Scan here afor even more family-friendly events.

SATURDAY

9 a.m. Free Zoo Admission for Collier Residents. Pres ent qualifying ID for free entry on the first Saturday of the month. Located at Naples Zoo, 1590 Goodlette-Frank Rd., Naples. Call 239-315-7626 or check www.napleszoo.org.

10 a.m. Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) Celebration. Also Sunday. Live music, dance performanc es, and delicious dishes. Located at Naples Botanical Garden, 4820 Bayshore Dr., Naples. Call 239-6437275 or check www.naplesgarden.org.

10 a.m. Free Kids’ Fishing. Equipment provided. Located at Bass Pro Shop, 10040 Gulf Center Dr., Fort Myers. Call 239-461-7800.

10 a.m. Holiday Marketplace. Features artisans and their pottery, paintings, jewelry, clothing, and more. Located at 570 Park St., Naples. Call 239-262-6331 or check napleswomansclub.org

10 a.m. Junior Storytime. Saturdays in the children’s section. Located at Barnes & Noble, 5377 Tamiami Tr., Naples. Visit www. barnesandnoble.com or call 239-598-5200.

1 p.m. Games & Balloon Animals. Saturday fun. All ages. Registration not required. Located at Headquarters Library, 2385 Orange Blossom Dr., Naples. Check www.collierlibrary.org or call 239-252-7371.

2 p.m. Saturday Matinee: Lightyear. Rated PG. Registration not required. Located at Naples Regional Library, 650 Central Ave., Naples. Check www.collierlibrary.org or call 239-252-5135.

2 p.m. Saturday Movie Matinee: Sing 2. Rated PG. Located at Immokalee Library, 417 N. First St., Immokalee. Call 239-2527073 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

6 SUNDAY

11 a.m. Camp Vitamin C. Exercise classes for kids alongside mindfulness training. Located at Paradise Coast Sports Complex, 3940 City Gate Blvd. N., Naples. Email campvitaminckids@ gmail.com or check www.campvitaminc.com.

8 TUESDAY

4 p.m. Little Builders Build. Children build coordination while using their imaginations. Ages 3-13. Located at South Regional Library, 8065 Lely Cultural Pkwy., Naples. Call 239-252-7542 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

THURSDAY

10:30 a.m. Family Storytime. Stories, songs, and craft. All ages. Registration not required. Located at Marco Island Library, 210 S. Heathwood Dr., Marco Island. Call 239-252-7064 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

4 p.m. Lego Fun. Ages 4-11. Share ideas, be creative, and have fun. Bricks provided. Registration not required. Located at Estates Library, 1266 Golden Gate Blvd. W., Naples. Call 239252-7109 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

11 FRIDAY

9 a.m. Free Autism Screening. For ages 18 months to 5 years. Located at Pediatric Specialist Office, 15901 Bass Rd., Suite 102, Fort Myers. Call 239-343-6838 or check www.leehealth.org.

5:30 p.m. Collier County Farm Bureau’s 2nd Annual Hometown Rodeo. Also Saturday. Rodeo starts at 7:30 p.m., rain or shine. General admission is $25; children 5 and younger are free. Located at Collier Fairgrounds, 751 39th Ave. N.E., Naples. Call 205-790-3452 or check www.floridafarmbureau.org.

5:30 p.m. Fall Festival. Hay rides, rock wall, inflatables, ob stacle course, carnival games, food, and fun. Located at Covenant Church, 6926 Trail Blvd., Naples. Call 239-597-3464 or check www.covenantnaples.com.

SERVICES INCLUDE: PRENUPTIAL OR POSTNUPTIAL AGREEMENTS SEPARATION DIVORCE CHILD SUPPORT ALIMONY PATERNITY ACTIONS ADOPTION

12 SATURDAY

10:30 a.m. Native American Craft. Create a craft from yarn, felt, beads, and more. Ages 8+. Located at Headquarters Library, 2385 Orange Blossom Dr., Naples. Call 239-252-7370 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

11 a.m. LGBTQ+ Youth Group. A safe space for those in grades 6-12. Located at Naples Pride Center, 2248 Airport Rd. S., Naples. Call 239-304-9407 or check www.naplespride.org.

12 p.m. Fall Cookie Decorating. Drop-in for ages 2-7. Regis tration required. Located at Naples Regional Library, 650 Central Ave., Naples. Check www.collierlibrary.org or call 239-252-5135.

12 p.m. KidzAct Auditions: The Drowsy Chaperone. Reg istration required. Located at the Naples Players, 701 Fifth Ave. S., Naples. Check www.naplesplayers.org/auditions.

3 p.m. Lego Fun. Share ideas, be creative, and have fun. Bricks provided. Registration not required. Located at Immokalee Library, 417 N. First St., Immokalee. Check www.collierlibrary.org or call 239-252-7073.

3 p.m. Pups ‘n’ Books. Read to a dog or just pet one. All ages. Registration not required. Located at Vanderbilt Beach Library, 788 Vanderbilt Beach Rd., Naples. Call 239-252-7160 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

15 TUESDAY

4 p.m. Lego Crew: 100 Brick Challenge. Share ideas, be creative, and have fun. Bricks provided. Ages 5-13. Located at South Regional Library, 8065 Lely Cultural Pkwy., Naples. Check www.collierlibrary.org or call 239-252-7542.

6 p.m. Teen(y) Tiny Art. Ages 12-17. Create your own mini masterpiece for a Tiny Art Show at the library. Take-home kits available while supplies last. Located at South County Library, 21100 Three Oaks Pkwy., Estero. Call 239-533-4400 or check www.leegov.com/library

17 THURSDAY

sell gently used kids stuff

3:30 p.m. Art for Kids. Learn about art and do a special proj ect. Located at Golden Gate Library, 2432 Lucerne Rd., Naples. Call 239-252-4549 or check www.collierlibrary.org.

5:30 & 7 p.m. Winnie the Pooh. Production co-produced by Gulfshore Playhouse and C’mon. $10. Located at Children’s Museum of Naples, 15080 Livingston Rd., Naples. Check www. cmon.org or call 239- 514-0084.

6 p.m. The Artsy Evening. Ages 5-12. An evening of artmaking activities for kids while parents enjoy a night out. Registra tion required. Located at Naples Art, 585 Park St., Naples. Check www.naplesart.org or call 239-262-6517.

18 FRIDAY

10 a.m. Train Rides. The only outdoor train ride

reopens today! Fridays and Saturdays through April. Located at Naples Lionel Train Museum, 401 10th St. S., Naples. Visit www. naplestrainmuseum.org.

11:30 a.m. & 5:30 p.m. White Christmas Select dates through Dec. 30. Located at Broadway Palm Dinner Theatre, 1380 Colonial Blvd., Fort Myers. Call 239-278-4422 or visit www. broadwaypalm.com.

6 p.m. Cowboy Cinema: blankets or lawn chairs and bug spray. Located at Immokalee Pioneer Museum at Roberts Ranch, 1215 Roberts Ave. W., Immo kalee. Call 239-252-2611 or visit www.colliermuseums.com.

6 p.m. Kids’ Night Out. and a movie. Registration required. Located at Donna Fiala Eagle Lakes Community Park, 11565 Tamiami Tr. E., Naples. Call 239252-3527 or check www.collierparks.com.

6 p.m. Magic of Lights holiday-themed light display. Located at Collier Fairgrounds, 751 39th Ave. N.E., Naples. Check www.MagicOfLights.com/naples.

19

11 a.m. Family Road Trip Day. Located at Collier Museum at Government Center, 3331 Tamiami Tr. E., Naples. Call 239-252-8476 or visit www.colliermuseums. com.

2 p.m. Saturday Matinee: Vivo. Rated PG. Registration not required. Located at Naples Regional Library, 650 Central Ave., Naples. Check www.collierlibrary.org or call 239-252-5135.

21 MONDAY

6 p.m. Tree Lighting and Snowfall Celebration. Snow, live music, Santa, tree lighting, and more. Located at 1207 3rd St. S., Naples. Check www.thirdstreetsouth.com or call 239-252-7371.

23 WEDNESDAY

7:30 p.m. A Christmas Carol: The Musical. Select dates through Dec. 18. A show for the whole family. Located at the Na ples Players, 701 Fifth Ave. S., Naples. Call 239-263-7990 or check www.naplesplayers.org.

29 TUESDAY

12 p.m. Teas & Trees Festival. Through Dec. 18. Enjoy trees de signed by local artists. Located at the Naples Players, 701 Fifth Ave. S., Naples. Call 239-263-7990 or check www.naplesplayers.org.

5:30 p.m. Exceptional Night. An immersive monthly event for children with autism and other sensory integration disorders or phys ical or neurological disabilities. Free for members, $5 for nonmem bers. Located at Children’s Museum of Naples, 15080 Livingston Rd., Naples. Check www.cmon.org or call 239- 514-0084.

Hurricane Ian Devastates S

How do we find gratitude in the grief?

The Naples Pier is the most iconic landmark in our town. It is treasured by visitors and residents alike as a place to gather, fish, take photographs, or go for a stroll. This photo was taken the day after Hurricane Ian swirled through Southwest Florida and changed lives for so many of us through destruction of property and lives. Without power or internet to learn what happened to Naples, and unaware of the dangers that lay in the surf and sand, many flocked here the day after Ian to see if the pier was still standing. Not only did they find reporters from the Weather Channel capturing what remained of our precious pier, they found contents of homes, seaweed, and cars strewn along the shore. The losses for many were unimaginable. Loss of loved ones, the destruction of precious photos and family heirlooms, and entire homes destroyed affected those in the path of wind and rising water. While Ian did not discriminate with the havoc it wreaked upon the both wealthy coastal dwellers and less affluent communities, the recovery will not be equal. The following pages illustrate how Southwest Florida has rallied for the fortunate and less so, how we can improve the way we meet the needs of our neighbors, and how we can find gratitude in the grief.

This special Hurricane Ian section is sponsored by Florida Farm Bureau Insurance.

on pages

by Lisette Morales

outhwest Florida

The flag still flies at the Chapel By the Sea on Fort Myers Beach. Buoyed by wayward appliances and a yellow ladder, the fortitude of this flag surrounded by building debris evokes memories of the hope and perseverance of the people after 9/11.

Meilin Gonzalez, 4, uses her new shopping cart to help her family collect essential supplies at a relief event in River Park East after their neighborhood in Naples flooded during Hurricane Ian.

A woman and child pay their respects at the Wall of Hope in Centennial Park in downtown Fort Myers, which was started and is maintained by Leo Soto of Miami (founder of the Wall of Hope Foundation) as a memorial for the victims of Hurricane Ian. Visitors to the wall have added flowers and personal items to honor loved ones. Visit www.wallofhopefoundation.org.

Facing page: A boy finds a toy on Vanderbilt Beach the day after Hurricane Ian struck SWFL.

Right: Naomi Nicole Arami, 5, of Naples shows off her new toys at River Park East as her family collects supplies after their neighborhood flooded during the storm.

Below: Kelsie Gregware holds daughter Chloe, 3, while daughter Mia, 7, talks with an unidentified man with his dog, Lucy, at the Wall of Hope in Centennial Park in downtown Fort Myers. For more infor mation on the wall, go to page 22 or visit www.wallofhopefoundation.org.

Make mental wellness a familypriority.

There’s a FREE online resource to help you lead the way.

It’s not easy to talk about mental wellness with children and teens. The Mind Your Mind initiative from David Lawrence Centers for Behavioral Health (DLC) is a free online resource that can help you lead those tough discussions, and keep mental wellness a priority in your family.

JOIN OR ACCESS FOR FREE AT: DLCMindYourMind.org or SCAN the code with your smart phone

By Stacy Nicolau

World Central Kitchen: Feeding Those in Need

first three weeks following Hurricane Ian, according to www.wck.org.

WCK’s Relief Team mobilizes immediately when disaster strikes, through partnerships with organizations on the ground and a network of local restaurants, food trucks, or emergency kitchens. To support regional economies, WCK prioritizes purchasing local ingredients to cook with or distribute directly to families in need. While its primary kitchen operation is in the Lee County Sports Complex in Fort Myers, WCK subcontracts with food trucks in Naples to not only support local business, but to provide hot meals that don’t need to travel an hour to local families in our community.

Volunteers sign up on the WCK website for a time slot where they either will be cooking in the WCK kitchen or delivering hundreds of meals to afflicted communities.

If you have never heard of World Central Kitchen before now, you are not alone. When our field photographer Lisette Morales McCabe showed up to Neapolitan Family’s November cover shoot wearing a WCK shirt, I was intrigued. When she described the work that she had been doing delivering hot meals to neighborhoods in crisis, I knew my family had to get involved.

Founded in 2010 by Chef José Andrés in response to the earth quake in Haiti, World Central Kitchen provides fresh meals on the front lines of crises, both natural and man-made. WCK arrived in Southwest Florida ahead of the storm, and, together with more than 50 food truck partners, has served more than 825,000 meals in the

Our family signed up to deliver meals, and after one day in north Lee County, we were able to find shifts closer to home in Naples, so that we could help after work and school. Delivery was so easy to do. We would meet the food truck, pick up around 200 hot meals, and go to the assigned communities. We would call out “hot food” or “comida caliente” as we drove by, and slowly people would come out of their damaged (and often powerless) homes, God-blessing us in English and Spanish.

Seeing the conditions of the homes combined with the spirit of the occupants in these tight-knit communities brought tears to my eyes more than once. The food made our cars smell wonderful, and we even tasted some food so that we knew it was delicious. We couldn’t take credit for the cooking, but the gratitude inspired us to continue.

To volunteer with WCK in Collier County, contact Stacy Nicolau at 239-370-5333 or snicolau@neafamily.com. Learn more at www. wck.org

World Central Kitchen volunteers prepare meals in New Jersey during the pandemic. Photo courtesy of World Central Kitchen/WCK.org

HURRICANE IAN By Stacy Nicolau

Gratitude Amid the Grief

Our family escaped Hurricane Ian’s wrath, even though we never left our home during the storm. Sure, we lost power and had a lot of yard debris to clear. But, unlike during Irma, our home emerged unscathed. The day after the storm, I ventured out through lightless intersections and blocked roads to inspect the homes of two families who had not stayed in Naples during the storm. Waist-high waterlines marked their homes both inside and out. Their garages looked like a snow globe that had been shaken and everything inside was scattered or overturned. Photo albums were strewn across their yards. Each had left a car behind that now was full of water. I then had to call them to report what I saw. I burst into tears when they answered the phone and I began to de scribe the condition of their home. FaceTime and sending photos was impossible without internet. They would have to wait to see for themselves when they returned.

Slowly, as our friends found cell service and power, we started to learn about who was affected. For those of us without power, internet, or cable, we learned about the carnage from our loved ones across the country who watched the storm on TV. All over Southwest Florida, friends, families, and strangers rushed to help

those who had lost a little or a lot. Most had never experienced mucking out a home, doing their neighbor’s laundry, or seeing a fish flop out of a sofa as they moved it to the curb.

Then, this inexplicable emotion seemed to be setting in for many people. You could see it in the manic way they tried to help everyone. Social media filled with crowdsourcing campaigns, im promptu relief missions, and calls for donated items. It was hard to feel like you were doing enough. If you were helping one per son, you might feel bad about the person you weren’t helping. Keyboard warriors lashed out on travel sites and social media lam basting anyone who asked about a restaurant opening, a destina tion, or if the beaches were open.

We were collectively experiencing survivor’s guilt.

How do you define survivor’s guilt?

According to Rita Ruggles, MSW, bereavement manager at Avow, survivor’s guilt is a particular kind of guilt that develops in people who have survived a life-threatening situation. Some survivors feel guilty that they survived when others died or were harmed.

Mother and daughter Elisa Olivares (pink shirt), 46, and Yoshe Garay, 15, comfort one another on Fort Myers Beach following the destruction wrought by Hurricane Ian. Photo by Lisette Morales McCabe.

The extent and severity of survivor’s guilt varies between people. Symptoms of survivor’s guilt can be both psychological and physical, and often mimic those of post-traumatic stress dis order. Symptoms can include anxiety, sadness, depression, dif ficulty sleeping, or obsessive thoughts.

How can we find gratitude in the grief?

More often than not, I have heard people who stood forlorn in their damaged homes say the same thing: “It could have been worse.” We also can give ourselves the same permission to say, “I’m grateful this storm didn’t harm my family or my home.” Then, we can focus on how to help in the best way we are capable of, and not feel frustrated or guilty that we couldn’t do more.

• Use your strengths. What do you do well? Now may not be the time for you to move large furniture or knock down dry wall (however satisfying that may be) but you might own a truck or large vehicle that can help a person move boxes, or give a person who lost their vehicle a ride to work.

• Prepare or deliver meals. Making or delivering dinner to a friend whose kitchen is not usable is always a welcome favor. Just dropping off muffins or a case of water is wonderful. See our article about making or delivering food on a larger scale for World Central Kitchen on page 27.

• Do laundry. If you have small children to care for, a great way to help is to do a load or two of laundry for a friend whose washing machine is gone, or offer to have their children over to do a craft or have a playdate.

• Manage your time. We don’t do anyone any favors if we

commit to more than we can do. Look at your calendar, decide which time frame works for you, and set that limit.

• Stick to a budget. If work, family, or your own hurricane cleanup prevents you from helping others, you may be tempted to donate to a crowdsourcing campaign or to a relief website. Decide how much you can afford, without compromising your own financial security. Stick to that amount.

If your own hurricane recovery prevents you from helping others or donating, then give yourself permission to focus on what you need to do for your family to return to a healthy, normal life.

Give yourself a break

Take time to do something fun and normal with your family:

• Bake or decorate for the holidays

• Go for a walk or bike ride

• Take a day trip to a nearby attraction

• Go to local theater, the movies, or watch a show at home

• Take advantage of free admission to the Baker Art Muse um or attend a concert, which Artis–Naples is offering free until the end of 2022 to help our community find peace in the arts.

• Attend a community fall or holiday festival, which is usu ally free. Check neafamily.com for our calendar listings.

According to Avow’s Ruggles, sadness and happiness can exist together. You can feel overwhelmingly sad on some days, while still feeling grateful for the blessings in your life. Everyone needs to grieve in their own time, and no one would expect you to skip this stage and move right into gratitude. It’s a journey to healing, and everyone is on their own timeline.

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By Anna Snyder

Hurricane Heroes

Alex Andrews and her husband moved to Naples four years ago from Dallas. Each day since Hurricane Ian devastated Southwest Florida’s coast, Alex and her family have rallied volunteers, donors, businesses, churches, and other groups to help our town’s most vulnerable. Her swift response initiated a snowball effect of giving and serving, now under the umbrella of Lean on Local, a network of support for hurricane relief.

Tell us about yourself and your family.

Alex: Raising our four boys in a beachside, laid-back city has been a dream for us, and Naples is such a nice change of pace after living in Dallas for 15 years. John and I met in college on the soccer fields where we both played, and we still spend our days together at soccer fields, watching our boys and spending time with friends.

What prompted you to lead this relief effort?

Alex: In 2017 we still lived in Dallas, and after Hurricane Harvey flooded much of Houston, we spent Labor Day weekend ripping out soaked drywall and flooring, and carrying loads of

people’s possessions to the curb. At the time, our boys were 4, 5, and 8, and they worked alongside us through every long, grueling day. As difficult as the work and sadness around us was to process, we also came away from that weekend with such incredible mem ories and a deep sense of purpose to show up for the dirty work, so no one had to walk that challenging road alone.

When Hurricane Ian hit Southwest Florida, we never really questioned or even discussed what to do next – we simply reacted and rallied as many others as possible.

During the storm, my parents’ home in Naples flooded. They were not in town, and on Wednesday evening (Sept. 28), John went to check on their house. We were some of the first people out after the storm went through, and it was almost apocalyptic. It was shocking to see our neighborhoods and streets flooded, rushing rivers in the roadside canals, and streets just a few away from ours entirely under water. We felt helpless and terrified, but ready to do anything we could to help.

John drove to my parents’ home that night to check the dam age. When he finally he made it home, the shock and grief on his face said it all. The Naples we knew had been destroyed.

For us, Thursday morning was go-time. We prioritized remov ing water and wet furniture from my parent’s home. We shared the word with as many friends as possible via Instagram. Throughout the day, multiple friends joined us and helped us clear and dry out my parent’s home. During that time, an elderly neighbor stopped to check on his home. We had never met, but reassured him if he needed help, our crew of friends and coworkers could assist him. He wasn’t ready to allow strangers into his home, and was too distressed to talk, but I left my number with his home-care aide, and they left.

An hour later, they were back, and he hesitantly asked for help. We jumped right in, and our crew grew with each plea for help we sent out. The friends who couldn’t work in homes watched our kids so we could continue working. Others brought food and water; still others helped by spreading the word and enlisting ad ditional help.

One neighbor in need turned into more. Soon we had crews at three homes on the block and complete strangers reaching out to us via Instagram to ask for help, to offer support, or to see if we could check on friends and family in the area. Because service was so hard to come by, Instagram updates were the easiest way to communicate quickly. If I could get one reel to upload, our entire friend and family network knew where to show up to help. More and more volunteers stepped up, so my Instagram updates became a morning and evening routine. Because most of the up dates were on social media, non-locals started supporting in other ways by sending Venmo donations, gift cards, Amazon orders, and so much more. While I was coordinating donations, my husband worked sunup to sundown to clean out homes in some of the most heavily damaged areas. It was exhausting and draining, but neither of us could stop: the need was so big, and we just kept showing up and trying to help.

On the Sunday following Ian, one Instagram message changed everything. A woman reached out to me – she hadn’t heard from a

The Andrews family (L-R): Lake, Alex, John holding Gray, Brek, and Jace.

Photo courtesy of Alex Andrews

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friend who was a single mom, in a flood zone and without power.

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I was floored by what I saw as I pulled into the neighborhood. Street after street of flooded homes, families hauling their ruined possessions to the curb, and no aid agencies or help in sight.

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Our community hopped into action. We made as many sand wiches as we could the next day and delivered coolers of food to residents. While there, we met Sharon and Doug, an elderly couple in need of help. Doug was in a wheelchair due to a recent amputation. Flood waters reached his neck before neighbors res cued them and pulled them to a home on higher ground. Sharon relies on a walker. Their adult son also was there but could not save both parents and their dog by himself in the raging floodwaters.

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Five days after the storm, they were still living in the hurricanesoaked home. The next day, a crew showed up to begin cleaning. We learned Doug had been in his wheelchair since the flood, and he needed a recliner. We found a recliner, and it was delivered the next day. Some of our group took Sharon and Doug under their wings to help them get medications, complete paperwork, and begin restoring their home.

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This same level of need was everywhere. We knew we need ed to take big action. We planned a large-scale event for Oct. 6. We wanted it to be a source of help and hope – live music, food trucks, professional chefs preparing food on the grill, even cotton candy and popcorn machines were present to set a tone of joy.

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2022

Our volunteers walked each family through a pop-up shop of clothing, necessities, and cleaning supplies, helping gather items to address immediate needs. They also consulted on further needs to establish a long-term support network within the community. Now we are diligently working to fulfill needs like diapers, formu la, cleaning supplies, and food, while also gathering the furniture and bigger items needed for a fresh start.

Recovery will be a long process, and we want to develop a support network to walk alongside communities for the next year and beyond as we continue rebuilding. Next, we are headed to Fort Myers, setting up similar pop-up events to help schools and families replenish clothing and supplies as they prepare to reopen classrooms.

What are the greatest needs in terms of hurricane recovery?

Alex: Individuals and communities need long-term support. We are working to create a network of both volunteers and profes sionals to support those affected in a sustainable, long-term way. The needs go far beyond what is visible, so we’d like to establish strategic relationships with any individuals who can help achieve a support network: insurance consultants, mental health profession als, employers, and beyond.

The number of people and companies who have already come together is vast: Arthrex, QE, Pure Barre Naples, Gulf Communi ty Church, and Tree of Life Church have been so generous. More individuals than I could ever name from near and far make up Lean on Local. We’re just a group of friends pulling together as many people and resources as possible to make a big impact.

To volunteer or donate, visit https://forms.gle/sfYteDXmC PAmnfCc9; Instagram and Facebook: @leanonlocal; and Venmo: @leanonlocal

For more stories about local Hurricane Heroes, visit our website at neafamily.com.

By Andrea Stetson

The Road to Recovery

Our house is 14 feet above sea level. It has hurricane shutters on every door and window. It’s a newer build that meets stringent hurricane codes, so we felt safe as Hurricane Ian howled outside. My husband was at work, so my daughter Kristyn and I, two dogs, and four rabbits sat in our living room peeking through a tiny opening in the shutters to see what was happening

outside. We saw water creeping up in both the front and back yards. Then it started rising rapidly. Our neighborhood had never flooded. It is one of the highest places west of U.S. 41 in North Naples. But the water kept coming fast.

By the time it got near the pool deck, we realized it wasn’t stopping. We grabbed doz ens of heavy photo albums and raced them

upstairs. I gathered my computer, printer, cameras, important papers, and some books. My daughter filled a basket with food, water, and other supplies. She took some tools and life jackets upstairs. We put the bunnies in the upstairs bathrooms and the dogs in one of the bedrooms. Then we lugged up a mini refrigerator. The water started seeping under the doors on all sides of the house. It was amazing how fast the water rose.

We stood on the second-story balcony watching the water rise and ruin our walls, furniture, kitchen, and bathroom cabinets, as well as any belongings still downstairs. During the height of the storm, neighbors, in a one-story house called and asked if they could join us. We invited them over, but told them they would have to be strong enough to open the back door, since we were unable to with 3 feet of water pressing it shut. They managed to trudge through chest-deep water to our home and pull open the door. We all continued to watch the water rise about 2 feet in the house. We also watched the wind start pulling apart the two-story section of our pool enclo sure. After a lot of creaking and scraping noises, we saw that section crash to the ground. About three hours later the water slipped back outside and was gone. It came up fast and went down fast. We ventured downstairs to examine the destruction and swept out the puddles of stinky black water left behind.

When the storm was over, we finally saw the extent of the destruction. All the homes on my street, including my daugh ter’s house down the block, had water

Above: Kristyn Stetson with the “miracle map”, which survived the floodwaters that entered her parents’ home in Bonita Shores. Photos by Andrea Stetson

inside. Houses on many neighboring streets also were flooded. The day before the storm I texted a contractor who had worked on our house in the past, and asked to be on the top of his list if we had any damage. Two days after Hurricane Ian blasted by, he and his crew were at my home ripping out wallboard and removing items. A few days later he was removing the soaked items from my daughter’s house. Seeing progress being made toward recovery was a relief.

Moments of wonder

It was stressful and hard. The days were long, filled with removing sopping wet, stinky items and saving what we could. But there also was a heartwarming side to the recovery. As we worked 12 hour days cleaning up the mess, we were com forted by neighbors who stopped by to help. One couple spent an afternoon help ing us remove everything from a shed that had been under 5 feet of water. A neigh bor biked by one morning with warm homemade blueberry muffins. Later that day more people from our community drove by with cheeseburgers they had just grilled. A nearby church offered breakfast

and dinner, and sent volunteers to help residents clean out their houses. Friends piled plastic containers and boxes by our doors so we could pack up our houses. Other friends lent us use their dishwash ers and washing machines. The Red Cross came by with a huge bin of cleaning sup plies. The fire department kept stopping by with cases of water. We had never be fore taken advantage of free meals, but they were so welcome. We didn’t have a kitchen anymore, and having a warm meal delivered or stopping for a break to eat at the church was a welcome relief. We were extra busy because we had to pack up and clean out our house and our daughter’s home. My daughter and I both lost our cars that were flooded in the garages. We lost a lot, but also found mo ments of wonder. When my dad returned from his 18 months of service in the U.S. Army in 1956, he took a giant map of Eu rope and outlined in wool all the places he went as company clerk. My uncle made a wooden frame for it. When my parents sold their home up north the only thing my dad wanted brought to Florida was that map. We kept it at my daughter’s

house, and every time my dad visited, he would sit in front of the map and tell us stories of his Army days. Somehow every thing around the map was destroyed in the flood, including a 150 pound chest freezer that tipped over. But the miracle map was fine.

We lost our 3-week-old couches and the new floor we put in the den a month ago. My daughter lost all the floors in her home. She has a one-story house, so she lost all her bedroom furniture too. Our bedrooms are upstairs and are all fine. Even with the loss there is a lot to be grate ful for. No one was hurt. Our houses can be fixed. We had more than a week of sun ny weather to help dry out items we want ed to save. We have amazing friends and the community supporting us. We have homeowners, flood, and car insurance.

The road to recovery will be long. There are so many homes that need to be fixed, and replacement items will take months to arrive. But when it is all done we will have homes that look like new, and as we sit in our newly renovated homes someday, Hurricane Ian will be a memory to share.

Miguel Argumosa, DMD, Erin M. Taylor, DMD, Nicole Eastham, DMD Sarah Vanderbosch, DMD Board Certified Pediatric Dentists

Neighbors Helping Neighbors

Above: Barron Collier High School students helped BCHS Spanish teacher Mary Farr after her home in Bonita Springs was flooded during Hurricane Ian.

Left: Jeff Swartz delivers hot meals from World Cen tral Kitchen to residents of Palm Lake in East Naples. Facing page, clockwise starting from upper left: Vincent Keeys (left), president of NAACP, Collier County, and World Central Kitchen volunteer Sean McCabe plan food and aid distribution in River Park East.

Shadowlawn Elementary teacher Antonio Masiello assists a student after the storm.

Gulf Coast High School students sort donations.

Students at the Village School of Naples organized a walk-a-thon that raised more than $42,000 for hurricane relief.

Volunteers stuff shopping bags at a supply drive organized by the True Fashionistas store in Naples. To get help or to give help, visit our hurricane resource pages at neafamily.com.

Photo by Stacy Nicolau

Photo by Stacy Nicolau

Photo by Lisette Morales McCabe

Photo courtesy of the Village School

Photo courtesy of Collier County Public Schools

Photo courtesy of Collier County Public Schools

Photo courtesy of True Fashionistas

By Andrea Stetson

Helping Kids Cope In the Aftermath

Eight days after Hurricane Ian flooded 9-year-old Naila Frederiksen’s home in Bonita Shores in northwestern Col lier County, the young girl saw the devasta tion. She walked past piles of debris that once had been the contents of her home, now piled by the road in mounds higher than her head. She wandered into an the empty house with drywall torn out about 4 feet high, allowing her to walk between wood studs from room to room. When she arrived in her bedroom she paused to look around.

“It’s crazy,” she said.

During Hurricane Ian, Naila and her parents stayed safe at her aunt and uncle’s

house in Victoria Park.

“Before the power went out we were watching a movie,” Naila recalled. “We were watching Spaceballs. Then I was play ing games with my cousins.”

Naila said she felt safe and was so busy playing with her cousins that she was not worried about the storm. With shutters on the windows, she couldn’t see much out side anyway.

“I didn’t really pay attention to it,” she said.

After the storm her parents went to check on the house. Naila said she didn’t want to see it yet. So she waited to get the first glimpses of her home. Now she’s

planning her future room.

“I had bunk beds before. I think I want bunk beds again,” she said. “I had a purple rug. I want another purple rug, or maybe a blue rug.”

The family is staying at another house while their home is being fixed. Naila’s parents are trying to make life as normal as possible. She has resumed her piano les sons and soccer.

“I have been going to my friend’s house a lot and hanging out with my cous ins,” Naila said.

Most of her clothes were washed and are now fine. She lost some shoes, toys, books, and other items, but they can all be replaced.

Her parents, Amber and Justin Frederiksen, said they kept their daughter happy and calm by stressing how safe they all were during the storm.

“We were talking about how we were making decisions to be safe and how the storm is not dangerous as long as you are doing the things you need to do, which is why we evacuated, because it became ob vious it wasn’t going to be safe for us,” said Amber Frederiksen. “We were just trying to reassure her.”

That has been a healthy atmosphere for Naila, who smiled even when she saw the shell of her bedroom and who contin ues to smile as she plans her new room.

Creating a space for feelings

Experts say there are many things par ents can do to help children cope during a storm and in its aftermath.

“Usually as adults we immediately want to fix things, including our children’s feelings, which is not usually what they need,” said Sarah Andrus, director of the Collier County Valerie’s house. “Being present with our kids, sitting with them, and creating a space for them to express [their feelings] – that is important. It might look like shock, it might look like fear, worry, doubt, or questioning.” She noted that it also is important to remind children that they are not alone, and that we are going through this journey with them.

“It’s OK to validate [their feelings],” Andrus explained. “You can say, ‘I feel that

Naila Frederiksen in front of the contents of her home in Bonita Shores in Collier County, following flooding caused by Hurricane Ian. Photo by Andrea Stetson.

Safeguarding Your Kids’ Mental Health After Ian

By Marta Gallego Adkins, Ph.D.

In Southwest Florida, we are no strangers to natural disasters. We all know natural disasters like Hurricane Ian can have a major impact on our daily lives. What is often overlooked is the mental effect hurricanes can have in the short and long term, especially on children. While the aftermath of such a devastating storm can be chaotic, it is important to remember to talk to your child about what they are feeling and address any concerns they may have. As an experienced pediatric psychologist, here are my tips on how you can help your child cope after a natural disaster.

Self-care

The first step in helping children is to take care of yourself. During this challenging time, seek support. Your emotional state affects your children. They draw their sense of security from you. You can share your feelings and coping skills. You can say, “This is hard right now as it was very scary, but we will all be OK.” “When, I start feeling worried or scared, I listen to music or talk to someone.” Once you share your feelings, you will find that your children tell you what they are feeling, as they sense that you are strong enough to handle it.

You might talk about the different feelings that you each had during the event and those being experienced now. It is important to let them know that all feelings are OK. Mention that sometimes people are not sure what they are feeling, and that is OK too.

Perhaps your child is not ready to talk. If so, explore other options, such as having your child or teen draw what happened. Younger children may play it out with toys. Others may journal their thoughts and experiences. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention offers free coloring books available in English and Spanish to help children feel safe at www.cdc.gov/cpr/readywrigley/ books.htm. One specifically addresses coping after

way, too. I am really sad, too. This is re ally hard.’ It is healthy to say those things to children to honor their experience. It is healthy to model that for our kids too; to say ‘I am really overwhelmed right now; I need to go in the other room and take a few deep breaths’ or ‘I am feeling really tired, and I need to lay down for a few minutes.’ That models for our children options that they then have to cope. Go ing for a walk, taking deep breaths, having a drink of water are all ways to cope. Kids

disasters, and another deals with preparing for a hurricane.

Your children may have questions about what hap pened. When you answer these questions, remember the age of your child and any developmental issues that they may have. Some children need simpler and more concrete explanations. Older children and adolescents may have different questions about the event, and you should tailor those responses to their ability to understand.

One question that your children may bring up is, “Will this happen again?” It is best to answer honestly and say something like, “It can, but it is unlikely.” Focus on the fact that your family has a plan of what to do before, during, and after a hurricane.

The importance of routine

When possible, return to your regular routine. Rou tines give children a sense of safety and normalcy. Have them return to school if possible.

Expect changes in children’s behaviors during the first few weeks after the incident. Younger children may regress. Others may become angry or sad. Some may withdraw. There may be nightmares, increased fears, and difficulty separating from parents. There may be more physical symptoms, such as stomachaches or headaches.

If your child or adolescent has significant problems and their behavioral changes continue, seek help. A good starting point is their medical provider. They know behav ioral health providers and can refer you or may have one working in their office. You also can check with your child’s school. Some schools may provide counseling services, and it is a familiar place for your child.

Remember, children and teens are resilient and with proper supports they should do well. If your child needs further support, you can call 239-658-3000 to schedule an appointment with a Healthcare Network behavioral health provider like myself or visit HealthcareSWFL.org/ Behavioral-Health to learn more.

MARTA GALLEGO ADKINS, Ph.D., is a licensed psy chologist with Healthcare Network. She is part of the organization’s behavioral health team and has worked with children for more than 20 years.

really need to play right now. That is their language. Any opportunity they have to play is really healthy.”

Making sure your children feel secure in the aftermath of the hurricane also is important.

“The primary thing for parents is to let their kids know is that they are safe,” explained Roxanne Foster, the local Avow Kids’ service specialist. “If they have sur vived a storm and have lost part of their house, it is really important for the parents

to let them know that are safe now, and make sure they know the storm is gone.

It’s hard for the kids to understand that their toys are gone.” Foster recommends acknowledging that losing toys and other belongings is very sad, but parents should also tell their children that “‘You are safe.

Mommy and Daddy are safe. You can get more toys in the future.’ Just emphasize that safety and that love ... and that they have food and shelter. Those are the things kids want to know.”

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