Whelmed

by Rachael Elliott Imposter Syndrome Dave Snell

The smarter you are the more likely you are to struggle with your mental health. I dunno whether that makes y’all more or less likely A significant issue in University, particularly to hit the skids to be honest. You did make for those coming close to graduation, is it into uni, but then you actually chose to Imposter Syndrome. This is where you come here when higher education is the feel like you don’t belong, don’t deserve biggest money-making scam the boomers the success or good feedback, and you’re managed since the housing crisis so… Jury’s just waiting for someone to ‘realise’ that out. you’re faking it and point and laugh all the way back to Tai Tokerau, you miserable Recent stats from the NZ Health survey little malingerer. It doesn’t help that often reported that women aged 15-24 were when you first start out at university people experiencing anxiety and depression at will try to allay your fears and say “just double the rate of men the same age, and fake it till you make it”. But then you start Māori youth are 1.5 times more likely to thinking – when do I know that I’ve made have a diagnosis of anxiety disorder than it? I was excited that I was going to finish non-Māori. Our trans, non-binary, gender my doctorate and my Imposter Syndrome queer, and takatāpui whānau are even more would go. I’d be Dr Dave. A doctor can’t marginalised, so they’re even deeper in the feel like an imposter. Everyone I know with hole. letters after their name seems so confident and assured. My lecturers all talk for years So don’t try and tell me that there isn’t a about the latest theories and articles. societally constructed, gender specific, kyriarchal component to our mental health I’m sorry to say, my experience of Imposter crisis. The effect of gender-roles and the Syndrome never left. When I realised this, I negative experiences of these throughout panicked. Would I always feel like a poser? your life, often starting before you even Am I Kim Kardashian in a Slayer shirt? Or realise what is happening, is a very large worse, am I a court jester in a tweed jacket? and specific risk factor for mental illness. Quick you’re wearing a Freud shirt, name Not to mention the fact that we’re usually three stages of development! Oral, Anal… left literally holding the baby (or the sibling, Dammit, I can only remember the funny or parent or grandparent).

Despite being the gold fucking standard of humanity, wom*n (yes, all wom*n, inclusive) are being thrown under the fucking bus. In every country from which data is available, in every racial, ethnic, and ones! Snap! You’re still faking it; you’re age group, from every historical period: not a true psychology graduate. Down the we have lower arrest rates than men for snake back to the start of the game, like an all crime categories except prostitution academic Snakes and Ladders. In all honesty (which shouldn’t be a crime, sex work is I don’t think this feeling will ever go away work). Several peer-reviewed studies over for me, it's quite a big part of who I am. It’s the last few decades have shown that important to see what the hell this Imposter wom*n outperform men in many of the Syndrome ‘thing’ is doing to me, and try and key areas that make for good leadership: make it work for me. Maybe these will work self-awareness, kindness, self-control, for you too. humility, social skills, and moral sensitivity. While men outperform us in unprovoked - These days there are very heavy screening aggression, psychopathy, narcissism, greed, processes to get into anything. We’ve all and the kinds of Machiavellian tendencies jumped through mega hoops just to get a part that create things like white collar crime, time job in retail to help us survive through mishandling of a global pandemic and the uni, and had to compete against hundreds need for the #metoo movement. And yet of other applicants. Academic institutions they’re still in charge. And you still ask us are getting even harder to get into and a lot why we need feminism. of people are competing for scholarships. If you got one (job or scholarship or even Anyway, I digress. Why are wom*n more whatever is the equivalent of University likely to struggle with their mental health Entrance these days), then chances are – than men? MaYBE iT’s ThEiR HoRMoNEs? You Fucken Deserve It. With all the new and Are wom*n more likely to be anxious and inventive ways HR tries to screw people, depressed because we do all the emotional congratulations! You foiled their nefarious labour or because men aren’t allowed to plans! You made it through the tuna net. have feelings? Either way you can thank the Keep telling yourself this. You are here patriarchy, and the solution is feminism. because of course you are. You are fucking fabulous. Perhaps we’re anxious and depressed because we’ve been sexualised since we were children? Nothing like never being sure if you can trust a person to keep you on your toes.

Perhaps it’s because we still get paid less - Hang out with people who tell you than men for doing the same work. Nothing that you’re fucken fabulous, but also tell like feeling unappreciated to make you want you when you’ve slipped up and you’re to stay in bed all day. temporarily ‘just’ awesome. You want people who can give you feedback so Maybe it’s because we’ve been taught 10 they’re not just sycophants. But at the same different ways not to be raped but boys still time, you don’t want your soul crushed haven’t been told not to rape us? That deep any time you have to look up how to spell down, some men think they’re entitled to sycophant. Honest, but respectful. our smiles, our time, and our bodies, even when we say no. - If you’re struggling on an assignment and your brain meats are trying to convince you Maybe we’re all fucked up because we’re you’re dumb, try doing something that isn’t more likely to experience mental and so physically taxing, but still related to the physical violence and abuse than men, and assignment. When I’m writing a long essay trauma is directly linked to the development or when I was doing my thesis, I used to start of anxiety, depression, and a host of other off by going back to the start and editing my mental illnesses. work that I’ve already written. This helps me build up the confidence to tackle writing Maybe, until we sort that out, wom*n are some new content. going to struggle more with their mental health than men. - Listen to Power Metal while you work. It’ll drown out the negative voices and make If you want to help? Call out your friend’s you feel like a knight, Valkyrie, or wizard. shitty misogynistic jokes. Even just saying that you don’t get it, or you don’t find it Overall, just remember: Monique does not funny- that one small awkward moment is think you’re dumb. worth something huge. Because suddenly, the 1 in 4 women in the room that have Take Care. been sexually assaulted? Feel just a tiny bit safer.