Vet Humor

I had a client bring in their cat they told me was constipated. There was no stool in the litter box. The cat was thin so I could palpate the abdomen very easily, and there was no large amount of stool in the cat. Then I looked at the other records, and said to them that they have dogs. They replied yes. I asked if the dogs had access to the cat box. They thought about this for a minute or two, then I thought both of them were going to vomit in the exam room. It was a man and his son. I guess they never changed a diaper or looked at poop.

My Top 3 “Funny Moments” from providing In-home pet euthanasia services:

After Gracie the Shih Tzu had passed away, I wrapped her in my fluffy blanket to carry her out to my car and the client exclaimed “Don’t cover her head – she won’t be able to breathe.”

Another client called her elderly Springer Spaniel to us by saying, “Pepper, come over here and meet your executioner.”

I recently answered my phone and the caller asked, “Do you come out and euthanize people in their homes?”

Quite shocked, I replied, “No, I’m so sorry, but I only euthanize pets, not people.”

We had a mother and daughter come into our hospital with their guinea pig. They brought the pet in for an emergency visit as they were deeply concerned that the pig had a worm or other foreign object protruding from his anus. They stated that every time they attempted to remove it, it would retreat back into the body. The owner relayed that she had even taken a pair of tweezers and at one point got ahold of the object but once again, was unable to pull it out.

After a 20 second exam, our veterinarian explained to the owner that the guinea pig was in fact male, and that the culprit was a penis. While we all felt it was hilarious, including the owner, who was also quite embarrassed, we cringed at the thought of her trying to pull off this poor guy’s penis with tweezers.

Thankfully, he was not injured in the attempt at removal, but we feel confident he’ll be looking at his owner quite a bit differently for a while!

~ Kathryn Reilly, BSc, BVSc, DLAS, ExMBA, of Farewell

After discussing recommendations for a patient, the owner asked, “Is this going to cost me an arm and a leg?” My mouth started talking before I thought about it and said, “No, we had to stop accepting them as we ran out of storage.” The next 15 seconds of silence took forever.

Client comes in with her dog that keeps scratching and proudly stated that they stay all natural, even the children aren’t vaccinated, and they don’t use chemicals.

After exam, I said, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is your dog has fleas. The good news is they are all natural!”

She took home a year’s worth of flea/tick medication, got the dog vaccinated, scheduled the needed boosters, and got a lot of spray for the house and car.

&Tick Wet Lab