Untold Chronicles - Issue 13

JANUARY 2020

UNTOLD CHRONICLES MAGAZINE

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

YOU ARE NOT ALONE SURVIVING SEXUAL ASSAULT

DR. NIA’S TOP

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DR. NIA GEE

KEEPING IT TOGETHER

OMEKIA MCNEAL DRIVE ON SOLDIER

I’M CRYSTAL CROSS AND I’M A MAKEUP ARTIST

LEADING WHILE

Bleeding Shona Chavis

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Untold Chronicles showcases the diff icult issues, life changing events and experiences of leaders, men and women of God that caused them to want to throw in the towel, stop going to church and for some utimately leave God. However, God has a different idea and each featured guest narrate their account of deliverance, while demonstrating to those also affected, there is a way out (solution). Untold Chronicles deals with the immensely hard issues we endure so as to offer, establish and maintain a connection with others who have similar testimonies or experiences. Through steps, sacred writings and supplications, they look to offer guidance on how to obtain, regain and restore relationships with Christ, while also learning to trust again.

Unconventional, unorthodox, and unapologetically me when it comes to ministry. She believes the Word of God as stated in Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” However, she knows that the changes in society and time mean that we must change how we convey the Word of God to this new generation. Nia’s ministry is to the downtrodden, the outcasts, and to those the church has given up on. She has a strong love and compassion for these types of people; she understands that deep feeling of rejection all too well. At one point, it was her. Her mission is to engage millennials with uncommon practices in ministry—practices that actually appeal to them. She then equips them with The Word of the God and all the necessary armor that they need for today’s battles. Finally, she sends them forth, empowered that they may bring others into the Kingdom of God.

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Dr. Nia’s Top 4 Indie Artist of January

MARJANE

CRYSTAL SHERIE

JOANNA HALE-MCGILL

This contemporary gospel singer has graced us over a decade and the path leads to great music, lasting relationships and longevity in the name of Jesus.

Crystal Sherie dopped here new hot single with Shelia Alexander “Mad Luv” on Jan 18, get your copy on all digetal platforms. This one is a must have!!

This praise and worship leader is also a winner of The Next Gospel Superstar 2016 and has not slowed down. Her current single “I Can Do Anything” is blazing hot.

FB: marjanemusic TWITTER: marjanemusic IG: marjanemusic

FG: crystalsherieworldwide TWITTER: CRoBakaCrystalS IG: crystalsherieworldwide

FB: joannahale-mcgill TWITTER: joannahmcgill IG:joannahale-mcgill

#4

#3

#2

ANDREW POTTS, JR. Since Andrew has started Lemuel, God has inspired him to write and arrange songs that minister to groups of all ages, races, and religious backgrounds. Thru his music he would like to convey the message that, “No matter the present circumstance God can bring you through.” It is his philosophy that the best way for Christians to win souls to Christ is to live Christ-like.

#1 3 | UNTOLD CHRONICLES

FB: andrewpottsandlemuel TWITTER: andrewpottsjr IG: andrewpottsjr

CONTENT & FEATURES 16 BRENDA WALKER

Travel Tips: “Don’t Leave Home Without It.”

18 CRYSTAL CROSS

I,M CRYSTAL CROSS AND I,M A MAKE-UP ARTIST

19 DR. NIA GEE

Keeping It Together

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COVER STORY

SHONA CHAVIS LEADING WHILE BLEEDING 4 | UNTOLD CHRONICLES

27 OMEKIA MCNEAL Drive On Soldier

DR. NIA’S TOP 4 INDIE ARTIST

15 IN THE KITCHEN

WITH Chef Andrea Dillion: Effie’s Smoothered Cabbage

26 ARTIST SHOWCASE POINT 5

32 SINGLES SANCTUARY Being Prepared

By Pastor Adela Prejean

34 COINS CORNER

By Tajuania Dawkins

35 MARRIAGE MATTERS My Spouse Can’t Get Over Their Past

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By SHONA CHAVIS The Bible and the Church Through The Lens of Trauma

38 GERALD COLSON On The Road to Success

ADVERTISE HERE 561-900-5079

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OUR CREW-PRODUCTION TEAM Dr. Nia Gee - CEO/Founderr Omekia Mceal - COO/Acting Editor In Chief Gerald Colson - Atlanta, GA ASAP Errand Girls - Huntsville, AL Inquires Contact:

BY ANDRIA NEYMAN Belinda Management 5 Gail | UNTOLD CHRONICLES belindagailmanagement@gmail.com

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SHONA CHAVIS

Leading While Bleeding

There was a seed of unforgiveness that I was carrying

and didn’t even know it. I didn’t know because it didn’t look or feel like unforgiveness. You see, many years ago, the seed planted had taken root and had grown up from a little acorn to a massive oak tree with big strong deep roots. Where do I start, and on which branch does my story began because each chapter has its roots? So I suppose I’ll start to experience domestic violence from within my mother’s womb. My oldest sister was two years old when I was born, and from what Mom tells me, dad had been beating her way before she carried my sister in her womb, he beat her during that pregnancy and the pregnancy in between my sister and I, that baby didn’t live. She died in my mother’s womb. Although I was a full-term baby, I was only 4 pounds and a few ozs at birth due to the trauma that my mom was experiencing during her pregnancy.

“Leading others to forgive, not knowing that I was carrying unforgiveness...”

Domestic violence in our home, my dad would beat my mom sometimes two to three times a week. One night we had gone to my grandmother’s house to stay due to my dad beating my mom that night. While I was sleeping in the bed at my grandmother’s house, I felt something on me. I didn’t know what it was I was only two or three years old at the time, but I knew it wasn’t supposed to be there. I remember jumping off the bed and running into the front room to tell my grandmother.

I remember saying, “grandma,” my uncle put his thing on me! I don’t know why I called it a thing, and I just knew that it wasn’t supposed to be on me. My uncle came from out of the room, and my grandmother asked him, but he said it didn’t happen. My uncle drank a lot and did a lot of things that he didn’t admit to doing after my grandmother asked him, she then looked at me and said,” hush, don’t ever say that again!” That day every-

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thing was taken from me, and I never told again.

At my grandmother’s house, it was my uncle; at home, it was the man that worked for my dad, and at school, which could’ve been one of my only outlets, it was the janitor and basketball coach that sexually abused me. I didn’t tell anyone because I remembered grandma saying to hush! Dad continued to fight with my mom, and when he was ready to beat her he would make me and my sisters come in and sit on the couch and watch him fight with her.. As a child this was very traumatic to watch, one minute your mom is standing there being yelled at, screamed at, punched, slapped and beaten and then the next minute you see her collapsed to the floor. an 18-wheeler truck that was coming towards him.

My dad decided that he would end his life that day, I can remember nights when it seemed like dad so he jumped in front of the oncoming 18-wheeler would beat her throughout the night, and then it truck, and on impact, his body flew up in the air was morning and time for us to go to school. I re- as we watched him hit the concrete on the other member my dad would tell my mom, “get the kids side of the street. My dad didn’t die that day, but dressed for school,” she would, comb our hair, and something inside of me did, seeing this was one get us ready for school. I can still see the school of the most traumatic experiences that I ever had bus pulling up and me going to get on it but first besides watching my mom get beat by my dad. looking back at my mom and in my mind taking a mental picture of her because I didn’t know if I would see her when I got back home. I would Mom still went through with the divorce, and we sit by the window as the bus driver drove away, were glad that she did, although we loved and just staring out the window looking back at the missed our dad a lot we were afraid for him to come house for as long as I could see it and wonder back home. After the divorce was final, my mom if my mom would be alive when I made it back had to make ends meet. We lived in a reasonably home from school that day. So after 17 years of be- big home, and at that time, there were construction ing married, she finally decided to file for divorce. workers that would come in town for months at a

I forgive you for unforgiveness and for keeping us trapped.”

After my mom filed for divorce, we were going to the post office one day to pick up mail. While we were there, we saw my dad, he rushed over to the car and was begging my mom not to go through with the divorce. My mom told him that she didn’t want to get back together with him. At this point, I suppose my dad felt he had no control. After all of those years of having power and control, he found himself powerless. Now he didn’t have the authority to make her stay or the ability to convince her not to go through with the divorce; he felt helpless.

While he stood by the car door trying to convince my mom not to sign the divorce papers, there was

time doing construction work on the roads, and they would rent rooms in different people’s homes.

My mom rented rooms out to some of these men.

The worst decision that my mom could’ve ever made because every sick, dirty, nasty, perverted man that rented a room from my mom also ripped me of my innocence. Day in and day out I was sexually abused, but I couldn’t tell anyone because I remembered grandma saying to hush! I loved my grandmother, and I don’t think that my grandmother wanted these things to happen to me, I just believe that they were raised not to tell what happens in the house, and that allowed her generational layers to reflect on me, and that wasn’t my layers to carry.

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For many years, and at one point, I felt like I can’t take it anymore. I remember one night going into my mom’s medicine cabinet and taking out all of the medicine that I could find, and I started swallowing pills. My eyes begin to feel heavy, and then all of a sudden, I was gone, or so I thought I was.

I woke up in the hospital having my stomach pumped, and they said if I tried this again, they would put me in a mental hospital! I remembered thinking to myself now that I hadn’t succeeded in dying, that maybe someone would ask what’s going on, or why is this young girl trying to commit suicide, what’s behind her making this decision! But I didn’t have a voice, and nobody there had one for me. I felt stuck and trapped in a cycle of abuse.

Many other things happened after this but too much to talk about within this article. When I became an adult looking back over my life, I realized that for many years I was assaulted by over 20 men in my childhood and raped by my stepbrother.

Throughout the years after finally leaving home, I always knew that I wanted to help others get out of their cycle of abuse and help them to overcome traumas from their past. I started researching and studying the brain, trying to understand how trauma and adverse childhood experiences affect the

minds and bodies of children. I started researching and studying because I wanted to know why I couldn’t focus or concentrate in school, why it was so hard for me to learn math, English, science, and social studies, even though I tried my best to catch on.

I then started a foundation called (avA) a voice Awakening which mission is to help un-hush the little girls inside the women, started speaking at Retreats and Conferences, Schools, Churches, and Law Enforcement Conference Trainings. I started teaching Breaking the Cycle Classes and Leading in support groups, took Trauma-Informed Care Trainings and Public Speaking to overcome Adversity. I was trying to help anyone that I could to recognize the signs of trauma in children and adults by teaching them how to help mitigate those issues instead of inadvertently causing traumatic new problems. I told them how they had to let things go so that God would heal them, not recognizing that I was carrying unforgiveness and didn’t even know it I was at a conference in North Carolina when I was telling someone that I wanted prayer to be able to get over the fear of flying. It wasn’t flying itself, and I’m not afraid to be in the air because on the plane was being trapped. That day I was asked the question, have you forgave the people that harmed you when you were a child? And I could not answer it.

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“And Yes I Forgave my Father”

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I was never asked, so I had never thought about whether I had forgiven them or not because I had moved on with my life. I was now ministering and helping others forgive and see things from a different perspective. But that day, I realized that I was caring unforgiveness in my heart, and I knew that I had to deal with it. Now I could see that I was leading while bleeding, and it wasn’t a good look for me. I had a fear of being trapped for many years, and I knew it was directly connected to my past. Trapped as a little girl, I felt trapped when my daddy was beating my mom and made us sit there and watch. I was sexually abused because I thought I couldn’t tell anyone. I felt trapped my whole childhood. Now, I’m an adult, and I didn’t have to feel trapped anymore because I wasn’t in that situation anymore. But the thought of getting on a plane and giving up my control of being able to get out when I want to give me anxiety. So the feeling of being trapped made me feel like there was no way that I could fly, and I knew that it was directly connected to my past traumas.

I had to speak at a conference in Atlanta, and I talked about layers, the things that we carry that we don’t realize we’re still holding on to that stops us from walking into our destiny. I had a friend there with me, and she had seen me do layers many times before at retreats. That evening my friend asked me to share more of my testimony with her, and I did. I told her that I realized for the first time that I had not forgiven them, and she asked me why not. I said I don’t know, I thought I had because I had put it behind me and she asked me again, why haven’t you forgave them, and I said” I don’t know how to forgive them” and she asked me what did I mean by that. I said I don’t know how to start forgiving them. I asked her how do I do that?

Do I forgive them all at one time, and if so, then what does that look like? Or do I have to forgive them individually, and if so, that would take a lot of time because different men did different acts to me, so I would have to forgive each act. I told her that I didn’t know how to start forgiving them, and I didn’t know how long it would take and what I wanted to forgive, but it was just too complicated.

My friend said to me, well, can you just ask God to prepare your heart to forgive, and I said yes I could do that, I can ask God to make my heart to forgive. I went to bed, and it was around 3 AM that the Spirit of the Lord met me in my room. I had asked God to prepare my heart to forgive, and he met me right where I was that night. I remember feeling his presence there and then closing my eyes and all of a sudden I seen in the spirit one of the men that had sexually abuse me. I remember holding my hands together as though I had something in it and I knew that it was a seed and I looked at him and said to him, ‘I forgive you,’ and then I prayed to God and I asked God to send his spiritual bulldozers to dig up all of the week soil that was on This man’s ground and to send spiritual dump trucks to dump healthy soil onto his territory, and I took the seed that had in my hand, and I planted my seed of forgiveness into the stable ground that the Lord put down. I said to this person may this seed of forgiveness produce a tree that will produce much fruit that you and your children and your children’s children may eat from for years to come. Fruits of mercy, and love, and joy, and peace, and understanding, and long-suffering. Then I saw the next man in the spirit, and I told him, “I forgive you,” and I continued to do the same thing even to those that had already passed away, I released and forgave them and said the same things to them. I looked over at the clock, and now it was time to get up to be back at the conference. I remember saying to the Lord, “Lord, however long it takes, I’m willing... I was surrendered at this point because the night before, I felt like it would take too long, and I didn’t know how, nor did I want to know how to go through the process. But I knew at this moment that if I had to do it, one person, at a time and however long it took, I was surrendered and willing to go through the process. My heart was postured for forgiveness, no matter how long it took to get it all done.

Once I said that the Lord took me inside of myself. I saw myself as a little girl the younger me running around in a circle. She wasn’t mad or sad, and she was just running in a circle. She looked

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up at me, and she said to me,” I forgive you” I forgive you for not understanding that because you didn’t excuse it kept me trapped in this cycle of unforgiveness,” I forgive you.”and then I said these words to myself, I forgive you for unforgiveness and for keeping us trapped. And at that moment, the younger was loosed and set free, and she came up and met the older in the spirit, and I remember her saying, “now we can fly!!! Then she said, we have work to do! And we connected midway, and there was a burst of what I would call virtue, power, and energy that collided when we joined and sparks flew. Then I remembered seeing a boutique of beautiful colorful baby butterflies that flew away after we transitioned. I knew at that moment that I was healed and that I was forgiven as I had forgiven them. That morning my friend and I went back to the conference, and my pastor started to minister and as he was saying his opening scripture which was Luke 13:12 And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.

I remember standing there, and when he spoke those words, there was a burst of spark like fire burning that went through my stomach then came out. I remember not being able to continue to stand and falling back on the chair behind me. Still, before I fell back, I remember feeling and seeing white cords that had been attached to my sides that I had never seen before, they had now become loosed and was shaking and whining almost like snakes once you cut their heads off. These cords were backing up away from me rather quickly, and they

waved and wound until they went away from me.

I remember crying throughout the whole service, and I ask the Lord what had just happened, I said to him you healed me and set me free in the room.

What was that, because I could not stop crying from experience. He told me you were healed and set free from unforgiveness, but now you needed to be loosed from the cords that held you captive kept you bound. Then he said, as Lazarus was set free, he also had to be made loose! I cried because I realized all those years, I felt rapped because of what people did to me in my past. This meant that I could not get on a plane and fly or go on a cruise or in an elevator because it would trigger me into feeling trapped. While all the while, I was holding myself captive. I was keeping myself trapped because of unforgiveness that I didn’t realize I was still carrying. When I forgave them, the Lord forgave me, and then I was able to forgive myself, and it set me free! I had been leading while bleeding, and I didn’t even know it. Through this healing process, I was able to gain Godly knowledge and wisdom to be able to lead others through the healing process. The Lord has granted, and I now carry an anointing to lose and set free those that are bound and captive so that they can be healed for real.

P.s. And yes, I also forgave my father...

avA a voice Awakening Shona Chavis 225.620.5431 shona@avoiceAwakening.com www.avoiceAwakening.com 13 | UNTOLD CHRONICLES

DECEMBER 2019

artist showcase Shaquanna Grovner I AM PERFECT COLORING BOOKS

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uthor Shaquanna Grovner graduated with a Master’s in Social Work and a Bachelor’s in Psychology. She currently works at an intensive outpatient substance abuse treatment facility as a licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor. Growing up in a small town and working in the mental health field, she noticed the lack of self-confidence brought on by the cycle of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem which led her to publish a self-empowerment ‘I AM Perfect’ coloring book to inspire and remind African American girls and boys that they are wonderful and capable of achieving great things. She understands the power in positive affirmations as our thoughts turn into internal self-talk which forms a belief about the self and the world. One way to help challenge irrational beliefs is by teaching and practicing affirmations.

AVAILABLE NOW ON AMAZON

I

f you want to make a change in helping young girls and boys overcome negative self-esteem and help build the belief that they have the power to create the life they want, purchase a copy from Amazon.com.

Support her NonProfit Organization Pushing for Change, follow them on Facebook and the fan page on Instagram at I_am_perfect_fans.

stroy108@gmail.com

Pushing For Change

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I_am_perfect_fans

InWith The Kitchen Chef Andrea Dillion Effie’s Smothered Cabbage 2 large Cabbage Heads (Thinly sliced) 2 Med onions (thinly sliced) 2 smoked turkey tails (cut into pieces) 1 smoked sausage link(8oz) diced 1 teaspoon creole seasoning 1 tablespoon minced garlic 1 teaspoon vegetable oil

In large pot add oil and turkey tails sauté for 5 mins. Add sausage, garlic and onions and sauté for 3 mins. Add cabbage, creole seasoning, stir and cover. Stir Occasionally until cabbage is tender about 20 mins.

Bon Manager Catering & Events - 773-870-0988 #BONMANAGERCATERS 15 | UNTOLD CHRONICLES

Travel Tips

By Brenda Walker

Don’t Leave Home Without It! 1. If you do not have a passport, make sure you go to your local post office or passport office to get that in hand, some countries require you To have your passport six months before travel and it must be valid six months after travel. Always check either with the state department or your passport office to see if the country you are visiting require a Visa. Passports are different from visas.

2. Make sure you make copies of your passport and or Visa to carry with you and also leave a copy at home in the care of someone you can reach in case your passport or Visa is stolen so you can prove your citizenship and be able to return back into the country.

3. It’s always good to make an appointment with your primary Physician to see if you need any shots or medications for malaria, yellow fever as well as any updated prescriptions or refills. Remember, prescription drugs must be

in their original bottles.

4. Check with your insurance company to make sure that you are covered internationally if you get sick or need to be hospitalized, if your medical insurance does not cover international care, then make sure you purchase medical insurance from a company that will cover you in case of an emergency.

5. Make sure you register with your Embassy, if there is a problem in the country in which you are visiting, it makes your country easier to contact you and get you to safety.

6. Look up the money conversion before you leave, if you are planning on converting your money into the currency that country require that you are visiting and you should, because every country does not take the American dollar; Most major banks will convert your American money at no cost if you are members, but airport exchangers will double the currency

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“Before leaving the country you should always notify your bank or credit card provider...” amount to make money off of you.

7. Most countries, if you go to their ATM or bank You will not be charged as many fees and the conversion will be exact.

8. Before leaving the country you should always notify your bank or credit card provider to make sure when you attempt to use it that they don’t flag your card fraudulent. Make sure you have Cash on hand because some places do not take credit cards.

9. Check the countries entrance and exit fees, travel advisors usually know about these fees and advise their clients but those who chose to book themselves will not know until they get to customs. These fees are not included in the price of your trip and can range from $25$200.

10. Purchase your vacation early so you can get better prices rather than top prices. 8-12 months in advance give more choices, especially from January-February, resorts, airlines, cruise lines are all starting off a new year so they are looking to sell their inventory.

11. If you are not using a tour guide for your travel, make sure you get a guidebook which will help you get around the city.

12. Since no one can leave home without their mobile devices, make sure you purchase an adapter charger and when you go to purchase it ask for a multi charger adapter or a power strip so you can charge multiple devices with one adapter.

13. If you must have the calling capability to use your phone, check with your server and add international calling which will be cheaper than roaming charges. If you and who ever you are calling have an apple device(tablet or phone) and your hotel/resort has WIFI you can FaceTime any where in the world at no charge.

There are other apps that you can download to communicate with, such as Skype, WhatsApp etc.

14. Luggage- most major airlines will allow you to check 1 piece of luggage maximum weight of 50 pounds free if you are traveling internationally as well as 1 carry on.

15. If you chose to take a carry on, pack 1 set of clothing/shoes as well as some snacks, your charger and adapter, copy of passport/Visa.

Enjoy your vacation!

Contact: destined2travel1@gmail.com

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I was fascinated by the art of makeup since my early age. From my childhood I used to do makeup for my sisters and friends, and used to try different makeup looks on myself. During my school days makeup was on my mind all the time and to make sure I had it on each and every day. I went from getting silly looks to “wow” your makeup looks amazing. They would say to me “I WISH I COULD DO THAT,” never thinking in a million years that one day I would be traveling and putting smiles on women faces and making new friends along the way as a makeup artist.

I did not go to school to be a makeup artist but by the grace of God, he has giving me a gift and the ability when applying the art of makeup, I am honored and thankful for the other amazing makeup artist that I have been in connections with that has poured into me nothing but positivity and knowledge of the art as well. From deep contouring, smokey eye, cut crease, etc. as part of my day to day routine.

I have done makeup for photo shoots, special occasions, baby showers, fashion shows, interviews and weddings too. I hope my striving for excellence in makeup will help me to achieve local and international excellence awards one day.

I believe every personality has its own identity and I work on enhancing the same. As a makeup artist, I ensure that my clients have a suitable makeup look before they appear in front of camera or audience. I strive to make my clients feel beautiful from inside and confident from outside. My love for the art of makeup has placed me with clientele comprising women of all age groups.

I am super excited to be apart of Untold Chronicles Magazine2020. I look forward to sharing with you the top resources for innovative makeup techniques and trends. We will go from skincare, maximum to minimal makeup routine, makeup starter kit, and foundation routine, etc. We may even step into a little fashion tips as well “WHO KNOWS.” My intention is simple and that is to place in you confidence that makeup will give you, if you add your favorite color lip gloss or a bold red lipstick color to your day to day routine will do for you. I look forward to getting into what I love and that is MAKEUP.

Your Sis And Your Friend

Influencer/Motivator | Lead Media Correspondent CSR | Ambassador/Promoter | Beauty Guide/Exclusive Educator

Email: crystal.cross@gmail.com

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Dr. Nia Gee

Keeping It Together 19 | UNTOLD CHRONICLES

I don’t even know where to begin…most people can’t fathom

of ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, jelly, or anything that has

being a little girl, and your innocence is stolen f rom you, but

a certain consistency and base sickens me. The memory that

to be taken f rom you by a family member that you trusted is

is associated with what I endured as a child triggers both an

even more unfathomable. I was eight years old, and my mother

emotional and physical reaction, which oftentimes causes

and I had gone to visit family members in another state for

me to vomit when there is a heavy amount of those items

the summer. We went alone without my Father, which was

on my food. For many years my sister and many other family

a rare occurrence, so I guess I should’ve prepared myself for

members thought that I was insane! We would go to family

something out of the ordinary to take place. You see, my

BBQ’s and everyone would be eating summertime food that

parents were very strict, but my Father, like most dads to little

we all enjoy with all the lovely condiments that are normally

girls, was extremely overprotective of me, to say the least. He

eaten with them; except me. I would literally become nauseous

and my mother didn’t do things or go places alone, especially

even when asked if I wanted any of the things listed above.

going to an entirely different state without each other.

Sadly, due to a lack of understanding, we often label people Let me set the stage for what happened to me the summer

based on our perception of them, and even OUR OWN past

that changed my entire life. It would also set some demonic

experiences will play a part in what we think of others. But

spirits on course in my life. This initial violation forever changed

the truth of the matter is none of us knows everything about

little Nia as her family, and the world would know her. My

any individual; we all share our feelings on a “need-to-know”

mom and I had gone to visit some family members, and

basis. Oftentimes we leave a ton of necessary information out

initially, everything was great. My aunt and uncle were very

of our stories simply because we don’t want to be criticized or

nice to my mom and I. They treated us like royalty, and we

judged. We try hard not to give people things to talk about in

didn’t have to lift a f inger while there, which was a plus for me

which we are the brunt of the joke for fear of thinking they will

considering my parents worked us kids like Hebrew slaves at

misjudge us—most often they do. We must all remember that

home. She and my uncle showed us the sites and made sure

everyone has a story. No one is exempt f rom life experiences,

that we didn’t get homesick because we were going to be

which sometimes causes us to be left in a state of arrested

there the entire summer.

development. I mean, we simply can’t move forward…no matter how hard we try!

Now I had a 16-year-old male cousin who was in high school (we’ll call him “Tyrone”) who was allowed to stay at home with

How do I know? Well, I’m so glad you asked! You see, for years,

me. Unfortunately, both his parents and mine were Ok with

I was stuck and felt like I could not love or be loved based on

Tyrone “babysitting” me. Outwardly, he was the typical young

what happened to me. I was married with babies, and my

hormonal boy that played sports, video games, watched tons of

husband had no idea of the horrif ic ordeals that I had been

television, and often had f riends over for a visit. On the surface,

through in my childhood. I would often be angry and resentful

there was nothing out of the ordinary about him. However, he

towards him when, in fact, he had no idea of the painful

had a demon of perversion that lay dormant inside of him—

thoughts of my childhood that constantly bombarded my soul.

but only until his parents were not around. When left alone

As much as I loathed him at the times of our heated debates

or without parental supervision, he would watch the Playboy

about intimacy, God would convict me and remind me that my

Channel, read adult magazines, play with adult toys, and make

husband was not my violator. I mean, I would be livid with him!

me perform oral sex on him. Yep, that’s what I said—he would

But I needed to extend to him the same grace that I wanted

make me, an 8-year old little girl who had never seen the likes

him to extend to me. See, men equate respect and intimacy

of a man, perform oral sex on him over the course of the entire

with love. Are we instructed by God to respect and honor our

summer. Tyrone would actually MAKE ME position my mouth

husbands’ right? Well, when it came to physical intimacy with

so he could ejaculate in my mouth. Each time he forced me to

my husband, I was very disobedient and often made him pay

do this, he would yell at me to swallow his semen and not spill

for what he didn’t know and could not help me through. LORD,

one drop of it. I was his human garbage can!!!!!!

PLEASE FORGIVE ME! So, as it relates to repentance, we understand that we must ask

Because of these painful experiences in my childhood, today,

God for this and turn away f rom whatever we are doing that

as an adult, there are certain condiments that I detest—I

does not please Him. Let’s go a little further and talk about

mean, they actually gross me all the way out! Heavy amounts

what we should do when we have a problem with someone.

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In the scriptures, the LORD instructs us in what to do if you have an ought (or beef) with a person: “If you are bringing an offering to God and you remember that your brother is angry at you or holds a grudge against you, then leave your gift before the altar, go to your brother, repent and forgive one another, be reconciled, and then return to the altar to offer your gift to God.” (Matt.5:23-24 The Voice) So I want to take this time to say openly to my ex-husband that I am so sorry for causing you to endure such harsh treatment f rom me, and you couldn’t understand why. My past pain was not your fault. Wives, let’s remember that we must always be women of virtue and honor to our husbands, no matter how we feel about the surrounding circumstances. I must admit I was def initely not that. So again, please forgive me!

As I go over this article, I am still at times, haunted by what took place. However, I know and understand the word of God that states in Rev 12:11a, “we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony” (paraphrased).

This is soothing/healing me just as it will become healing for those of you that read it as well. We can’t truly move forward in our lives unless TRUE DELIVERANCE takes place. This TRUE DELIVERANCE only happens when we have released, discarded, and thrown away the parts of our lives that constantly bring us unsatisfactory gratif ication. Well, Dr. Nia, then what does satisfactory gratif ication look like? Let’s talk about it!

So Miriam Webster def ines these two words perfectly for me: Satisfactory – fulf illing expectations or needs, acceptable, though not outstanding, or perfect.

Gratif ication – pleasure, especially when gained f rom the satisfaction of a desire. If, at any point in our lives, ANYTHING shuts out the propensity of being satisfying, it must be REMOVED immediately! Our entire lives are at stake, and we have unknowingly allowed someone to have a say in how we navigate through it. This is a trick of the enemy in which he (the devil) wants to make us think we are not in control of who we are, and that we’re incapable of succeeding in life because of our past experiences. However, we def initely know differently!

“..I am still at times, haunted by what took place...”

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STEPS OF DELIVERANCE: 1. Let’s f irst start by having you pray to our Heavenly Father for clarity, direction, and healing.

2. Place yourself in a posture where you can hear and receive a download f rom our Father. Because once the question is asked and you are totally yielded, the process will begin. OPEN YOUR HEART AND YOUR EAR GATES! 3. Once the instruction is given to you by Father God, you must be ready to apply what He has given unto you. Don’t just apply the word, but you must constantly regurgitate the words given because of trust and believe the enemy is coming. Remember, he comes to kill, steal, and destroy.

4. Play, Repeat and keep moving forward. Take note and know that you are the deliverer for someone else, and they need you in order to make it through this rough season in their life.

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THE LOVE STRATEGIST

Dr. Gerald Hightower 24 | UNTOLD CHRONICLES

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“...I do not think I am going to make it”...

OMEKIA MCNEAL DRIVE ON SOLDIER! “Today I get to start the rest of my life”, is what I said to myself

conversation, “What were we thinking”, “is this hard or is it

on August 25, 2005 but what I did not know was that it would

just me”, “how much longer” and majority saying, “I do not

turn out to be a journey like no other. Nine (9) weeks and a

think I’m going to make it, this is way more than I signed up

day seemed like forever, crying every night in my top bunk,

for”! Needless to say I did make it retired, broken (all kinds of

wondering was I going to make it through Basic Training for

aches and pains) and looking back at that time as being just

The United States Army,. Thinking back I can recall not being

the tip of the iceberg.

the only one unsure of themselves yet I realize that right in

Dates and times and events and people get harder to

f ront of me I haved a room full of young and older women

remember without having to truly concentrate or read the

reminising about their lives back home, husbands, children

actual rape report taken at the hospital and as the years have

and families that they missed. Many nights and the same

gone passed it seems to take a little bit longer.

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long periods of time) and overwhelming fear. What I do know for sure is I arrived at my f irst duty station around that same time in El Paso, TX (Fort Bliss), excited and nervous all at once. Just a few short months later a major part of my life that I would keep a secret f rom my family and f riends would accure leaving me with so many unanswered questions, unfamiliar feelings and wondering if I would ever be the same again.

I made new f riends quickly and started hanging out in my new city and our #1 adapted rule was if any type of alcohol was consumed driving was prohibited. This particular night there as an actual party and feeling alittle weird I decided to lay it down as I had done so many times before. Movement on the bed which was strange since there should not have been anyone in the room but me, causes me to sit up and take stock of my surroundings. A shadow making its way towards the door, no sound what so ever is what I could see and as the door opens and closes there is a little faint light that casts on the small area on the wall. Now somewhat alert, I can feel my dress up over my breasts, no underwear and I am exposed and wet. This could not be good!

M . S .T

Contributing factors like depression, anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), panic attacks, isolation (for

UNFAMILIAR FEELINGS AND WONDERING IF I WOULD EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.” Waking up to what I thought was a terrible nightmare turned out to be reality, violated in such a way that only one that has been through it can understand. I wanted to turn back time but I couldn’t, I wanted to run away and hide, but I couldn’t simple because it wasn’t a movie or script it was real life happeing right before my eyes.

Realizing I was helpless made the situation more stressful and wanting to get over it as quickly as possible only added to the anxiety. I was reassured that I was not alone in this yet there was what felt like a heavy weight only I could feel on my whole body.

Notifying my superiors lead to a hospital exam that was the most degrading process that I had ever had to experience. Having to be asked over and over the events of that night by strangers and envadign my body made me feel like I was being victimized all over again. They took my clothes I was wearing and sent me on my way. “I’m 30 years old with children and street smart NOT ME! This could not be happening to me, I did the right thing, I was in a safe place and I did not or did I...one question after another and then another. Who did I piss off, who could dislike me this much, I just got here? The aftermath of this ordeal left me broken, f ragile and emotionally unstable. I could not eat, drink or sleep. I could not be around men or women at a point and everyone that I came across was subject to be apart of what had happened to me. See I did not know who the person or persons was so there was no way to feel safe. I was removed f rom the motorpool where I was the only female and placed in the supply room where I would only have to come in contact with a few people. Locked away and left to deal with the uncertainties and blank spots to try and f ill.

Therapy and medication became a huge part of my life and after about 6 months things started to get back to normal, at least I thought they did. An encounter with a stranger that could possibly be my abuser sent me 1000 steps backwards and fear that I would not be able to handle a set back, I was committed. This would happen two more time.

My life changed drastically and for over 13 years I have had to live with depression, little to no interest in doing

S U R V I V E D

“UNANSWERED QUESTIONS,

the things I used to, the not knowing, blaming myself for not being more careful, and uncontrolable thoughts of it happening again. The effects of my Military Sexual Trauma (MST)has left me with vivid nightmares of night,

I

Post Traumatic Stress Syndrom (PTSD) was the main reason I was medically discharged f rom the active duty,

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flashbacks, anxiety attacks, fear of crowds at some point and my family has to announce themselves before entering a room that I am in because I am easily startled. Emotionally I have battled trusting others, blaming, anger, numbness, lossing control, not being able to remember events, dates and even people, guilt, helplessness, a sense of being vulnerable and having a negative outlook on my life.

The grace and mercy of God has allowed my life to shift and take on another form where He is the head and everything that I have experienced and been through is now a testimony for others to f ind Him in order to get their shift. See it was not until I realized knowing God and believing what He promised was the only way I was going to get ahead of my fears, my doubts about me and what the trauma had done to me. This battle for my life has made me stronger in prayer, in belief and discovering who I was along the way allowed the purpose for my life to be revealed. The enemy tried to trick me into thinking my life was not valuable but there were already other plans made and today I can boldly say to you IT IS NEVER TO LATE to start all over. Do not let your past hold you back f rom being what you want to be and doing what you want to do, it is up to you whether or not you sink or swim.

“...Military Sexual Trauma (MST) has left me with vivid nightmares, PTSD...�

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THE COIN CORNER Cancel Subscriptions Chances are, you’re paying for multiple subscriptions like Netflix, Hulu, Spotify, gym memberships, trendy subscription boxes and Amazon Prime. It’s time to cancel any subscriptions you don’t use on the regular.

Be Planful Save money on groceries by planning out your meals each week and taking a good look at what you already have in your pantry before you head to the store.

Discounts You never know until you ask—and you should always ask. Next time you’re getting tickets at a movie theater, museum or sporting event, check to see if they have any special discounts for seniors, students, teachers, military or AAA members.

Now, save those coins!

34 | UNTOLD CHRONICLES Tajuania Dawkins "The Financial Coach" www.tajuaniadawkins.com

My Spouse Can’t Get Over Their Past

Many couples have taken the leap of faith to get married and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Some spouses are dealing with baggage from their past that keeps them enslaved to bondage. Some will even attract people who are dealing with the same emotional baggage. As things linger and come out of the heart as time passes by; feelings, emotions and hurts that were hidden or numbed begin to manifest. Some spouses don’t realize those things from their past are still there.

Why? Because for so long, they pointed the finger to everyone else and were faultfinding towards others not realizing it was themselves that needed the deliverance.

There comes a time in our lives that the Lord will have His children deal with areas in our past so we can heal, be delivered and set free. This is so we can walk in the full potential of who God has called us to be and live in total freedom. So, what does He do? He begins to pull back the layers like an onion to deal with our hearts. This is very uncomfortable in a marriage, yet necessary in order to live happily ever after.

Many couples have a hard time going forward or moving forward in their relationship due to emotional baggage.

This can cause some issues within their marriage such as: very little or no sexual intimacy, failure to communicate with their spouse, and/or sometimes there’s a pulling away.

When spouse’s fail to address issues from their past, it can affect not only their marriage, but if they have children it can affect their view of what a healthy marriage is supposed to be. It is important to draw nigh to God in times like these for healing and comfort. He is the One who will propel the relationship forward as deliverance and healing is taking place within.

The more we get close to the Father, the more we look like Him and the more we respond like Him and take on His characteristics. We then can love our spouse unconditionally and in wholeness. Because we have intimacy with the Father, it will be expressed the same as when we have intimacy with our spouse.

Apostle Johnnie and I find as we counsel other believers; that many spouses revisit their past in their minds. They tend to think about old flames and old sinful habits; instead of pulling those thoughts down, they play with it and open doors to the enemy. Learn to cast down those imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bring those thoughts to captivity. (2 Corinthians 10:5) In other words, safeguard your mind. Many try to hide their past, but they can’t escape their past. Jesus came to set the captives free. (Luke 4:18). Grab a hold of the Son and let Him do the perfect work that needs to be done in us to bring about our healing from the past.

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www.rhythmofgospelawards.com

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The Bible and The Church Through The Lens of Trauma

By Shona Chavis

Looking at the Bible through the lens of trauma, we

they were and then guided them into the things of

can see that it is full of traumatic events. Some holy

God, and everyone’s healing process was different,

men moved by God to write portions of the Bible that

He was able to minister to them f rom the lens that they

told stories of injury in all its brutality throughout

were looking f rom. He also had a unique way of using

the word of God. Trauma that was so severe that it

what they could see f rom their natural prospective and

was passed down f rom generation to generation.

relating that to the spiritual aspect. And once their eyes

Trauma, where God did not step in to stop it, He did not

opened, their healing process was activated. Although

rush to lessen their suffering, and for most of them, their

Jesus was all-knowing and moved into a healing ministry,

recovery was a very long process if they recovered at all.

he still understood that people don’t care how much you

Yet and still, God in his Grace found a way to add these

know until they know how much you care. One of the

people into his story of redemption. Those that were hurt

reasons why Jesus showed up with unconditional love

broken and beaten. Those that had sinned and those that

for us. Because his purpose for coming was to die for our

had experienced death within their family. He used those

sins, he, too, was not exempt f rom layers of trauma. He

that were betrayed, neglected, violated, and those that

was mocked, beaten spit upon, arrested, talked about,

had suffered signif icant emotional distress. These were

lied on, bruised, and violated. His trauma was no less

some of the same layers that Jesus came up against and

than ours,

carried along his journey towards redemption. These were

ever imagine. To lay down his life so that we could be

the layers he chose to shine a light on through people

delivered, healed, and set f ree f rom these issues. He took

who had suffered much,

on our traumas, carried them to the cross, and overcame

to tell his redemptive story.

but much more than anyone of us could

them for us all so that we could live a victorious life.

There are so many of us today that are dealing with life-controlling issues and self-destructive behaviors,

During the healing process, there are many different

and yet we are unaware that it is rooted in trauma. The

stages that we all cross.

question is, where do we go to talk about these issues,

walking out of trauma, while others may feel like they’re

to open up about our feelings, and resolve the residue

crawling. Some may have the tools, tenacity, and strength

of trauma that we’ve been carrying. Even though the

to get up and sprint straight out of trauma, while others

Bible sheds a bright light on trauma, is the Church really

are barely limping out of the residue they were left

ready and equipped enough to counsel, guide, and lead

holding. However, it is in these times that the scripture

those that are carrying the residue of trauma safely

in Luke 17:14 talks about the lepers healing as they went.

out of that stuck place? Is the Church knowledgeable

I can imagine as these lepers went on their way to show

suff icient in this area to help mitigate those issues

themselves to the priests; their body parts that were at

instead of inadvertently causing new traumas to the

one point dissolved started to reappear, and their minds

person that’s seeking help? And are we as the Church

and thought patterns began to realign and retain order

willing to say that we need the training in these areas

again. I believe that as the Church gains knowledge in

to be equipped to walk them through a natural process

the healing process of trauma and collects the tools

of healing to get them to the spiritual aspect of the

that they need to get the process started, those that

healing process? Remember, Jesus met people where

we minister to can also experience healing as they go.

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Some may feel like they’re

ATTENTION ALL DR. NIA “JUST NIA” GEE WILL BE IN THE BUIDLING!

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Learn to Live Life F.A.T. By: Gerald B. Colson Stop & breathe a moment. Put your stone down and step away from your keyboards before you catch a cramp typing in response so fast The question I asked was how many of you ever felt F.A.T. not Fat. The dictionary defines Fat as (of a person or animal) having a large amount of excess flesh. Some synonyms are plump, stout, overweight, large, chubby, portly, flabby and more. This is not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is F.A.T. F. - Fully A. - Appreciating T. - Today Too often we believe that our happiness lies outside of ourselves. We believe that some external thing will or person will make us happy. So we decide to not embrace who we are or what we can do already. Many think when I meet Ms. or Mr. Right our lives will be perfect then we can start to “Fully Appreciate Today” because now my life is complete. For others it will be when they have that baby the will finally have someone who will love and depend totally on them and they can devote their entire life to helping them so their identity becomes so wrapped up in that person they believe now I can “Fully Appreciate Today. Then for others it is when I have so much money I can afford to show everyone what I am worthy because of their material positions cars, clothes, jewelry etc. Others it is fame and notoriety it like “Cheers where everybody knows your name.”

Unfortunately, we complain about what we don’t have instead of appreciating what we do have. The first thing you have is TODAY. If you are here TODAY that means you survived yesterday. All of the problems you had, the stress, the headaches and whatever it was you survived. Be grateful and APPRECIATE that because there are many who didn’t survive yesterday and will not see another tomorrow. Stop worrying about what you don’t have, what you didn’t get or what tomorrow holds. Just stop worrying and start FULLY APPRECIATING TODAY. Learn to Live Life F.A.T

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