The Ibizan, Thursday 25th December 2014, Issue 766
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The Ibizan, Thursday 25th December 2014, Issue 766
www.theibizan.com
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The Three Kings Nicole Torres Epiphany is celebrated on 6th January. This is the twelfth night after Christmas. In Spanish, Epiphany is called 'Fiesta de Los Reyes Magos': in English this means 'The festival of the Magic Kings'. Epiphany celebrates when the three Kings or Wise men brought gifts to the baby Jesus. Children have some presents on Christmas Day, but most are opened at Epiphany. Some children believe that the Kings bring presents to them at Epiphany. They write letters to the Kings on Boxing Day, December 26th, asking for toys and presents. And on Epiphany Eve (January 5th) they leave shoes on windowsills or balconies or under the Christmas Tree to be filled with presents. Gifts are often left by children for the Kings, a
Kings’ Arrivals ~
Monday 5th January 6pm to Santa Eularia. 6pm to Cala de Bou. 6.30pm to Ibiza Town. 6.30pm to Sant Antoni. 7pm to Sant Miquel. 7.30pm to Sant Carles. 8pm to Santa Gertrudis. 8pm to Sant Josep. 8pm to Sant Jordi. 8pm to Sant Agustí.
~ Tuesday 6th January 11.30am to Puig d’en Valls. 12.30pm to Jesus. 7pm to Es Cubells. 7pm to Sant Joan. 7pm to Sant Llorenç.
glass of Cognac for each King, a satsuma and some walnuts. Sometimes a bucket of water is left for the camels that bring the Kings! If the children have been bad, the Kings might leave pieces of coal made out of sugar in the presents! Some big towns and cities have Epiphany Parades with each King having a big float that is shaped like a camel. Sometimes there are also real camels in the parade. The Three Kings in the Spanish Epiphany are: Gaspar, who has brown hair and a brown beard (or no beard!) and wears a green cloak and a gold crown with green jewels on it. He is the King of Sheba. Gaspar represents the Frankincense brought to Jesus. Frankincense is sometimes used in worship in Churches and showed that people worship Jesus. Melchor, who has long white hair and a white beard and wears a gold cloak. He is the King of Arabia. Melchor represents the Gold brought to Jesus. Gold is associated with Kings and Christians believe that Jesus is the King of Kings. Balthazar, who has black skin and a black beard (or no beard!) and wears a purple cloak. He is the King of Tarse and Egypt. Balthazar represents the gift of Myrrh that was brought to Jesus. Myrrh is a perfume that is put on dead bodies to make them smell nice and showed that Jesus would suffer and die.
Christmas View From The Pew Peter Pimentel, Chaplain For most of my life I simply took it for granted that Jesus’ name was Jesus! It is very odd I suppose that most Christians possibly do think that too. But Jesus was an Israeli Jew – a first century rabbi who spoke Hebrew and Aramaic and, naturally, he had a Hebrew name. His name in Hebrew was (and is) pronounced Yeshua. Judaism at the time of Jesus (and henceforth) was thoroughly monotheistic. The belief that the God of Israel was the one and only God was foundational to Jesus and his disciples. The worship of anything other than the one God would have been unthinkable and utterly blasphemous. That important fact brings us to the heart of Christmas. Early Christian documents demonstrate that very soon after the death of Jesus, Hebrew and Aramaic speaking communities were worshipping Jesus as God alongside and with the God of Israel. How could this unimaginable state of affairs have come about? There is at this present time a very lively debate amongst scholars and historians of early Christianity trying to answer that question. The consensus emerging from the ivory towers is that there must have been an amazing experience (with Jesus at the very centre) at the origins of Christianity. The origin of the universe is often explained by a big-bang from which our space-time universe emerged. (The big bang is God!). So, too, there must have been a
big-bang (an incredible experience) at the birth of Christianity. There are many clues in Early Christian documents as to what that experience consisted of. For example: “a peace that passes all understanding” and “an inexpressible joy full of glory” and as “the love of God filling the heart” and as “signs and wonders” of the Holy Spirit. May it be that this year we have something of that experience in our own lives this Christmas. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps! What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments! What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
Church Services ~ Wed 24th Dec. 23:30h Santa Eulalia Chapel of Lourdes Christmas Midnight Communion ~ Thu 25th Dec. 09:00h Christmas Day San Rafael Church ~ Sunday 28th Dec. 11:00h Santa Eulalia.
The Ibizan, Thursday 25th December 2014, Issue 766
s… juntamento From the A at i ass will be Sant Anton Midnight M e th e Ev as On Christm 8pm. a Santa Eulari agia de la España ‘La M e magiTheatre ro at Te at th Eve istmas) with On Christmas Magic of Chr us, free enhe la C (T ’ a ad nt id Sa av N from and a visit cian Albert trance. s: , ass service g d’en Valls Midnight M night in Pui id d m an , s, is le ud ar C Gertr 7pm in Sant laria), Santa sa (Santa Eu Puig de Mis ra de Jesus. Nuestra Seño e official programme at th You can find adesriu.net/ .s http://www
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Christmas Eve Party At The Ship. Special Guest DJs, Free Festive Fayre Buffet, and the big question, will she be there? Alfredo said he was in the chair if she wasn’t.*
* no he didn’t
Anyone For A Spot Of Mumming? 'Mumming' ~ Christmas Crossdressing, This medieval tradition from England involves cross dressing, getting drunk, singing, dancing, and became corrupted by criminals. Remind you of anywhere? Mumming is an ancient pagan custom that was an excuse for people to have a party at Christmas. It means 'making diversion in disguise'.
The tradition was that men and women would swap clothes, put on masks and go visiting their neighbours, singing, dancing or putting on a play with a silly plot. The leader or narrator of the mummers was always dressed as Father Christmas. The custom of Mumming might go back to Ro-
What’s On The Box Santa?
man times, when people used to dress up for parties at New Year. It is thought that in the UK it was first done on St. Thomas's day or the shortest day of the year. Different types of entertainments were used in different parts of the UK. In parts of Durham, Yorkshire and Devon a special sword dance was performed. There were also different names for mumming around the UK too. In Scotland it was known as 'Gusards' in Somerset, 'Mumping', in Warwickshire or 'Thomasing' and 'Corning' in Kent. In Medieval times, it had turned into an excuse for people to go begging and committing crimes. It became so bad that Henry VIII, made a law saying that anyone that caught mumming wearing a mask would be put in prison for three months! One poem recited whilst mumming is still well known today (though the beef has been replaced with goose:-
Christmas is coming, the beef is getting fat, Please drop a penny in the old mans hat.
Today I recommend “The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm” Harry Hill takes the title role of the absentminded inventor, who is oblivious to the chaos caused by his ridiculous creations when they go wrong - which is more often than not. Luckily, his long-suffering housekeeper Miss Flittersnoop and dim-but-loyal best friend Colonel Dedshott are on hand to make sure he doesn't blow himself to smithereens.. BBC1 8:30pm Christmas Eve
The Ibizan, Thursday 25th December 2014, Issue 766
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Eastenders, 9pm BBC1. Christmas gets off to a great start for the Carters, Mick gets a special present from Linda. Dean turns up, drunk and threatening to drop a bombshell. Could the day get any worse? Coronation Street, 80m, ITV, Amy and Tony are taken aback by how much Steve has spent on presents and food, while Michelle misreads his signals and tries to kiss him, and Tracy grabs Tony under the mistletoe.
BBC1 London BBC2 London ITV London 11am Only Fools and Horses Carols from King's 15 30 45 To the Manor Born 12am Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out 15 30 Film Gnomeo & Juliet (2011) The Choir: New Mili45 tary Wives 1pm 15 30 Shaun the Sheep 60 Years of Carols 45 2pm Top of the Pops 15 Christmas 30 45 3pm Queen's Speech 15 Film Puss in Boots (2011) 30 45 4pm 15 30 45 5pm Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special 15 30 45 6pm 15 Doctor Who 30 45 7pm 15 Miranda 30 45 Call the Midwife 8pm 15 30 45 9pm EastEnders 15 30 45 10pm Mrs Brown's Boys 15 30 McIntyre's Very 45 Michael Christmassy Christmas 11pm Show
from King's
Kiss Me, Kate at the Proms
Film Back to the Future (1985)
Channel 4
Channel 5
RTÉ One
GOLD
Film4
The Simpsons
(10.20) Film Scrooge (1970)
Urbi et Orbi
Bring me Morcambe & Film Mr Popper's Wise Penguins (2011)
Sky Movies Christmas
(10.30) The Lego Movie (2014)
Best Christmas Moviews Ever
Christmas Eucharist
Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas
The Snowman
Film Nanny McPhee (2005) A Victorian
A Christmas Message The Sound of Music Live!
widower struggles to control his seven unruly Alternative Christmas children, But a strangelooking nanny with a Film Scrooged few tricks up her sleeve (1988) A heartless soon gets the young- TV executive is cruel to sters into line, leaving his employees and just their weary father to sees the festive season concentrate on finding as an opportunity to a new wife
Queen's Speech
Only Fools & Horses - 7 Back to Back Episodes
Film A Monster in Paris (2011)
Fair City
Film Die Hard 2 (1990)
Film Despicable Me (2010) A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon
make money.
Film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) Film Big (1988)
Film Noah . A man is chosen by God to build Film Stormbreaker an ark capable of (2006) Teenager Alex housing his family and Rider discovers his late pairs of every living uncle was a secret agent, and is assigned the task creature when the world is flooded. of completing his last Noah's mission is mission - uncovering a criminal mastermind's complicated by his Film Love Actually plan to cause mayhem adopted daughter Ila, (2003) with a super-computer and the villainous Film Johnny English Tubal-cain, who plans on storming the vessel Reborn (2011) to escape the Creator's vengeance.
Film Puss in Boots (2011)
Elf: Buddy's Musical Christmas
Queen's Speech New You've Been Framed! James May's Toy Stories: Action Man at At Christmas
the Speed of Sound Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs The
Film Arthur Christmas comedian helps out at (2011) Battersea over the Morecambe & Wise in festive period, where Michael Buble's Pieces: The Sketches staff hope to rehome as Christmas Songbook many animals as possible in time for Christmas
Film Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012) The escaped zoo animals continue their quest to get back to their New York home
Film The Lego Movie (2014)
The Vicar of Dibley
Fair City
Chas & Dave's Xmas Knees Up!
Emmerdale Christmas University Challenge
Film Elf (2003)
Film Frozen (2013)
Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special
The Snowman and the Snowdog
The Queen's Garden
Blackadder's Christmas Carol
Film Frozen Premiere. A princess with the power to freeze anything she touches loses control of her abilities and plunges the kingdom into a permanent winter. Disney quest. Film Elf (2003)
When Ryan Met Niall
Coronation Street
Blackadder's Christmas Carol Downton Abbey
Frozen at Christmas An in-depth look at the huge success of Frozen, the most successful animated film of all time
Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs
The Zoo Christmas Special
A countdown of popular songs that are guaranteed to make Alan Carr: Chatty Man any Christmas party EastEnders Christmas Special go with a swing.
Film Home Alone (1990)
Film Star Trek (2009)
Dad's Army
Tim Rice - A Life in Song
Sky Movies Premiere
Porridge
The Royle Family: Film Rise of the Planet Film Noah (2014) Christmas Special 1999 of the Apes (2011)
Film Die Hard 2 (1990) Mrs Brown's Boys
Bring Me Morecambe & Wise
QI Christmas Film Argo (2012) Marvellous
8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special
Film Muriel's Wedding (1994)
15 You’ve probably seen them all a dozen times, but Christmas wouldn’t be the same without classic comedy. Only Fools tops the tree with no less than 9 episodes over 3 of the channels we have listed. From the variety of Morcambe and Wise through to the cringe worthy Knowing Me Knowing Yule from Alan Partridge, if there is nothing to make you laugh today, you might have a problem.
Knowing Me, Knowing Yule - Alan Partridge
Film Easy A (2010)
The Ibizan, Thursday 25th December 2014, Issue 766
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Christmas Survival Guide With Santa’s Litle Helper ~ He’s A Cheeky Little Fella Q. How long do I cook a Turkey for? Downton Abbey. 9pm ITV It is the early autumn of 1924 and Rose's father-in-law Lord Sinderby has rented Brancaster Castle in Northumberland and invited the Crawleys to a grouse-shooting party. However, the Sinderbys' butler Stowell has an axe to grind and a scandalous secret threatens to derail the holiday. Back at Downton, the servants hold the fort and unlikely later-life romances abound, while Bates takes drastic measures to clear Anna's name as she faces an uncertain future behind bars.
Strictly Come Dancing, 5pm BBC1 Bruce Forsyth is back alongside Tess Daly as six memorable contestants return to compete for the Christmas trophy. The line-up includes two previous winners - Olympic gymnast Louis Smith, and TV presenter Chris Hollins. They'll be up against each other and four other Strictly veterans - actress Lisa Riley, singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor, S Club 7's Rachel Stevens and astrologer Russell Grant. Can Russell possibly top the 2011 entrance that saw him fired out of a cannon?
A. If you have to ask that question there are only two ways you can cook it. Far too long or far too little. If you cook it far too long your guests will be polite and comment on how moist it is. As soon as anyone says that you know it’s been a disaster, and they will be cough on your bone dry destruction for weeks. They are not drinking all your wine for it’s quality, it’s a matter of survival. If you cook it far too little things can get far more interesting. It’s not all bad news, I sometimes do it on purpose to get rid of boring guests - they can’t make it to the door fast enough bless there little souls with their behinds all clenched up together tight. The best thing if you need to impress is to practice on your family first, especially if you have young children as they find it nigh on impossible to commence legal proceedings. My top tip is this; always get a takeaway a night or two before you are cooking the big bird. That way any unpleasentness can be blamed on them. Good luck, and if at all possible stay alive. Here are some times I found for you. Approximate Roasting Times for Stuffed Turkey Turkey Weight
Hours
6 to 8 pounds 8 to 12 pounds 12 to 16 pounds 16 to 20 pounds 20 to 24 pounds
3 to 3-1/2 hours 3-1/2 to 4-1/2 hours 4-1/2 to 5-1/2 hours 5-1/2 to 6 hours 6 to 6-1/2 hours
Approximate Roasting Times for Unstuffed Turkey Hours Turkey Weight
The Queen, 3pm BBC1 and ITV, 5pm BBC2 Christmas Fact: George V read the first Royal Christmas Message in 1932. The broadcast was introduced from Sandringham by 65-year-old Walton Handy, a local shepherd, with carols from the church choir and the bells ringing from the town church, and reached an estimated 20 million people in Australia, Canada, India, Kenya, South Africa, and the UK. Inset, the first televised speech in 1957.
6 to 8 pounds 8 to 12 pounds 12 to 16 pounds 16 to 20 pounds 20 to 24 pounds
2-1/2 to 3 hours 3 to 4 hours 4 to 5 hours 5 to 5-1/2 hours 5-1/2 to 6 hours
Q. I
don’t like the perfume my husband bought me. What can I do? A. Not so tricky as you might think. The best thing to
Arthur Christmas, 6pm, Channel 4 Premiere. Santa Claus' gift-giving routine has developed into a complex hi-tech operation. However, when one girl is accidentally missed out, his youngest son Arthur takes control of the family sleigh to deliver her gifts the old-fashioned way - but following in his father's footsteps is not as easy as it looks. Animated comedy.
Eastenders, 9pm BBC1. Christmas gets off to a great start for the Carters, Mick gets a special present from Linda. Dean turns up, drunk and threatening to drop a bombshell. Could the day get any worse? Coronation Street, 80m, ITV, Amy and Tony are taken aback by how much Steve has spent on presents and food, while Michelle misreads his signals and tries to kiss him, and Tracy
do with his rancide discount juice is tip it away down the toilet, then refill the bottle with the scent your boyfriend or work admirer bought you. Chance are he’ll have spent more on something better as unlike your husband he hasn’t become unutterably bored of you. If your husband asks what that aroma eminating from the toilet pan is, just tell him it’s woman troubles and you won’t hear another peep. To really push the advantage home why not give him some of your cold turkey in a sandwich. He’ll have plenty of time to smell his perfume then. Well it’s our rush time in the workshop now so I’d better be on my way. Perhaps I’ll see you again next year.
SLH
What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells! What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? Mistle-toad! Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered!
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Boxing Day Party From 8pm until late with children welcome until 1am. Boxing Day buffet 10€ served between 8pm and midnight. There’ll be a family movie in Chez Fez between 8-10pm and kids karaoke with Sunny between 10pm and midnight. DJs include Bones, Big L and Mark Broadbent, Jo Woodall & more. From the Ajuntamentos … Santa Eularia Boxing Day at 12pm ¿Dónde está la Paloma? (Where is the pigeon?) is a magic show on at Teatro España, free entrance. Sant Josep, Sant Agustí des Vedrà, Boxing Day there is charity bingo at 7pm and a wine competition at 9pm.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we'll go places!
Racing
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer! What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show! What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker! Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital? Because he has private elf care! How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger! What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!
Today’s big race is the King George at Kempton 3.10pm live on Channel 4. (televised races start at 1.45). The Horse that made the race it’s pwn Kato Star ahd a presentation run out during the week. It looks like as wide-open a staging of jump racing's King George VI Chase as there has been for a bit, jockey Ruby Walsh, looking for his sixth win after five on the great Kauto Star, has two words to describe jump racing's William Hill-sponsored mid-season championship: "Bloody competitive." Walsh's mount Champagne Fever, trained in Ireland by Willie Mullins, has lack of steeple chasing experience and stamina for the three-mile distance to prove, with the former a more likely stumbling block. He is ranked second favourite behind last year's winner Silviniaco Conti, who, with Al Ferof, attempts to add to cham-
What’s On The Box Santa?
pion trainer Paul Nicholls' record haul of eight King George victories, five of them also with Kauto Star. Both horses turn up in apparently very good form, 'Silviniaco', after a November success at Haydock over fellow Kempton big-race challengers Menorah, Dynaste and Cue Card.Al Ferof, last year's third, who prefers the going on the drier side, made a superb return from an absence at Ascot, also in November, and given his conditions can be expected to play a major role. Tom ScudamoreMenorah, a stellar mount for Tom O'Brien in place of the suspended Richard Johnson, has been magnificent this season with a good win at Wetherby followed by that gallant second behind Silviniaco Conti.
Football
Todays televised matches are Chelsea vs West Ham (Sky Sports, 12.45pm) Manchester Utd vs Newcastle Utd (BT 3pm) Arsenal vs QPR (BT 5.30pm)
Watford v Wolves5.30pm Also Rugby Newport Gwent Dragons v Cardiff Blues BBC
Today I recommend “Still Open All Hours”. Season 1 Episode 1 of 6 Last year's one-off special revisited Granville 28 years on, and found that he'd not only inherited his uncle's shop, but practically turned into him, with his happygo-lucky son Leroy now whizzing around on the delivery bike, much like his dad had done decades before. BBC1 London 6:25pm Boxing Day
The Ibizan, Thursday 25th December 2014, Issue 766
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27 27--30th Dec, & 1st Jan On supporting the island’s local bands. Free entrance.
Televised Football Sunday 28 December:
Tottenham Hotspur vs Manchester United (BT Sport, 12pm) Southampton vs Chelsea (Sky Sports, 2.05pm) Newcastle United vs Everton (Sky Sports, 4.15pm) Monday 29 December:
Night market, Calle de Virgen Claire B The International Night Market continues in Calle de Virgen and Plaza sa Drassaneta until December 31st from 8pm. In collaboration with the Ayuntamiento, local establishments are offering a variety of products and food for those who wants to see and try something different. The market is also collaborating with AMAE (Society of Visual Artists from Ibiza) situated at Plaça De Sa Drassaneta and will include artworks in the street and exhibitions. Facebook: vecinoscalledelavirgen URL: https://www.facebook.com/ Vecinoscalledelavirgen?fref=ts
Liverpool vs Swansea City (Sky Sports, 8pm) New Year's Day - Thursday 1 January: Stoke City vs Manchester United (Sky Sports, 12.45pm) Manchester City vs Sunderland (BT Sport, 3pm) Spurs vs Chelsea (BT Sport, 5.30pm) Live music in San Antonio Claire B Saturday December 27th sees four local rock bands playing in San Antonio in the Passeig de Ses Fonts from 8pm. MRC, Indulgentes, Magnum and Fortune are playing. Great for blowing away the Christmas cobwebs and dancing off some of the extra pounds accumulated over the festive season whilst
What’s On The Box Santa?
Día de los Santos Inocentes (Day of the Innocent Saints – 28th December) Nicole Torres Well, this isn’t really a fiesta or national holiday, but it is a fun day. The 28th December, Día de los Santos Inocentes is the equivalent to our April Fools’ Day where people try and trick others into believing jokes and unbelievable stories. Television and radio stations often make the most of this day.
New Year’s Day (Año Nuevo – 1st January) Well, the New Year (Año Nuevo) in Spain actually starts on 2nd January for many. That’s because the New Year’s Eve merriment continues all through the night and into mid-morning of 1st January. Many young people wake up in the evening!
Today I recommend “Top Gear Patagonia Special The first half of a two-part special, the filming of which caused controversy in Argentina because of a registration plate that drew links to the Falklands War. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May take three used V8-engined sports cars on a gruelling road trip covering 1,600 miles through Patagonia. BBC2 London 8:30pm Sat 27 Dec
And also the Editor’s favourite “Charlie Brooker's 2014 Wipe” The writer and broadcaster takes a satirical look back at the events of the past year, casting his eye over the news, film, TV and social media. Among the stories he reflects on are the ice-bucket challenge craze, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's marriage ending in what they called a `conscious uncoupling' and the poppy installation at the Tower of London to mark the centenary of the outbreak of the First World War. BBC2 London 10:00pm Tue 30 Dec
The Ibizan, Thursday 25th December 2014, Issue 766
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Noche Vieja (New Year’s Eve – 31st December) Noche Vieja is a night to party and the Spanish do that in style. Most offices close at lunchtime and families kick off the celebrations with another meal all together. At midnight, it is traditional to watch the special televised event from the Puerta del Sol in Madrid leading up to midnight. At the stroke of midnight eating one grape for each chime of the bell, which represents the twelve months of the year, is considered to bring good luck for the forthcoming year.
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Beverley Ibiza, Year’s Eve Party
New
Offering an open bar party, for open minded people, they open at 11. It’s all about open. Beverly, Port Des Torrent, www.beverly-ibiza.com
Royal Plaza, New Year’s Eve Gala Dinner If you are looking for a night of opulent indulgence the Royal Plaza is the perfect choice. Their New Year’s Eve Gala Dinner includes an 8 Course Banquet with Fine Wines and Taittinger Champagne included in the price. Dance to live music til 3a.m. and then why keep the 4 star feeling going and take ad-
vantage of their fantastic deal on overnight accomodation with breakfast. Gala Dinner 120€ p.p. Gala Dinner, Double Room & Breakfast 150€ p.p Junior Suite Upgrade +50€ p.p. Also see ad on front page. www.royalplaza.es
Villa Mercedes, Years Eve Menu
New
Fantastic menu, all drink included until midnight and then there is that very special Villa Mercedes service. What more could you ask for?