BULLIES IN SCHOOL What to do if your child is being bullied
easing among kids is normal, but bullying takes conflict to a dangerous level and can sometimes result in extreme psychological and/or physical harm. In some ways, virtual learning gave our kids a much-needed break from bullying in school. But with the 24-7 nature of social media, our virtual world leaves ample opportunities for bullies to attack, whether or not school is in person. Essex County second grader Kayla* was targeted by a bully during an innocent school Valentine’s Day exchange. As she opened her cards (which had been collected and distributed by the school), the 7-year-old’s heart sank. One pink, handwritten letter ended with the sinister message, “PS: I hope you die from COVID-19.” Shocked, Kayla’s mother immediately reached out to the school’s principal, but heard nothing back. It wasn’t until she submitted a formal letter to the school (with the help of an educator friend who “knew the lingo”) that she received a response. The school’s solution was to schedule a virtual meeting between the two children; the bully apologized and gave Kayla a new Valentine. Even so, the incident *Name changed for privacy
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NEW JERSEY FAMILY
BIG BOOK OF EDUCATION
had far-reaching consequences for Kayla, who is nervous about being in school in the fall. While bullying is nothing new, today’s kids are under constant attack due to the prevalence of social media sites like Facebook, Snapchat and TikTok. “There is no break. There is no respite,” says West Orange marriage and family therapist Laurel Raissman. She advocates against bullying as part of Mallory’s Army. The organization was founded by Diane Grossman, whose daughter Mallory committed suicide in 2017—a result of relentless bullying at school and online. In Mallory’s case, the school’s actions made things worse, not better. “If bullying happens in school, it’s the school’s responsibility, but the schools sometimes turn a blind eye,” Raissman says. With so much at stake, what can we do to protect our kids from bullies? We got to the bottom of what defines bullying and sought advice from the experts.
WHAT IS BULLYING? Bullying is defined as “unwanted aggressive behavior by another
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By HEIDI L. BORST
