Know Where to Go & When
When you aren’t feeling well, knowing the right place to go could save a lot of time, money, and frustration.
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(336)786-4133 1016 S. South St., Mount Airy, NC 27030
(336)783-8100 105 N. Crutchfield St., Dobson, NC 27017
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830 Rockford St, Mt Airy, NC 27030
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the county.
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The Calming Center of Mount Airy was built with a steadfast commitment to overcoming the challenges and barriers that so many people experience when seeking counseling to improve their mental health.
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Sabrina L. Baker
Sabrina hails from Tobaccoville, NC.
Passion for arts led her to photography, where she carved her niche. She balances motherhood and her professional pursuits. At 30 years of age, she embraced Jiu-Jitsu, proving there is no age barrier to personal growth. Sabrina is known for her creativity and commitment, her ability to embrace change, and her perseverance. She writes to inspire others to face challenges head-on and to craft their own paths to success.
Contributors
Madalyn is from Mount Airy, NC, and is currently a junior at Appalachian State University. She is studying English with a concentration in professional writing and minoring in communication with a concentration
in journalism. She writes for Surry Living and also works on the news desk for her university’s student news organization. When she is not writing, she enjoys reading, being outdoors, and spending time with her two dogs.
Sheri, now happily retired, finds nothing more enjoyable than time spent with her husband of fifty years, her amazing daughter, and sweet elderly pup. She authored two novels, A Higher Voice and A Deeper Cut (which also ran as a serial feature in Surry Living Magazine.) Her play, No Ordinary Wine, written in collaboration with a fine producer/director, was well received, and a second play, Improbable Grace, awaits discovery.
Rynn is a writer and designer based in the Yadkin Valley region of North Carolina. She loves to share her ideas for adding simple beauty into hectic lifestyles. More than mere recipes, her mission is to offer practical shortcuts for food preparation along with visual tips for presentation. Rynn began her career in Aiken, SC, as a newspaper reporter writing feature articles about food, living, and the arts. For more about Rynn, even more recipes, decorating tips, and much more, visit thehouseofelynryn.com.
Blake grew up in and around the outskirts of Winston-Salem. He and his wife, Angie, currently live in the small town of East Bend. Blake graduated from Liberty University with a master’s degree in psychology and loves finding ways to help others. He also enjoys reading the Bible, painting, and spending time outdoors.
Carmen
Carmen is an NC Cooperative Extension Agent for Family and Consumer Sciences. Making quick, easy, healthy food that tastes great on a budget is a challenge. Carmen and her husband have two grown children, both of whom were involved in sports from grade school through college. With busy careers and lots of time at sporting events, coming up with quick, healthy meals was a necessity. Carmen shares ideas and recipes to make this tough job easier.
Eddie
Eddie lives in Copeland, NC. His column reflects his life experiences and stories that have been passed down to him. He is an encourager and considers himself a cheerleader for daily life. Eddie builds custom-crafted furniture in his small business, New Venture Woodworx. He also turns wooden bowls on a lathe and sells those at art and craft shows.
Derina is the executive editor and owner of Surry Living Magazine. She is also a professional horsewoman with a passion for connecting horses, nature, and people. Derina lives on her ranch in Westfield, NC, with her husband, Kevin, son Kage, and daughter, Kaleah. She enjoys horse riding, traveling, and attending church at Asbury Evangelical Presbyterian.
Kevin
Kevin is a Christian business owner who loves serving Mount Airy and its’ citizens. In addition to being the publisher and owner of Surry Living Magazine, he is also a physical therapist, Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt, and published author. His passion is to help others find their way to health, success, and happiness throughout his areas of expertise. Kevin has assembled a first-rate team of therapists dedicated to keeping Surry County residents out of pain and in motion. He has an unstoppable, positive attitude that is contagious, and we hope you catch it through his column.
Joanna is the County Extension Director for NC Cooperative Extension in Surry County as well as the Commercial and Consumer Horticulture Agent with expertise in entomology, gardening, and pesticide education. Joanna began her career with NC Cooperative Extension in Stokes County in 1995 as a 4-H Agent, later switching to Field Crops and Pesticide Education in Surry County. She lives on a farm with her husband and two teenage daughters.
Contributors
Emma Rose
Emma is an editor, author and publisher with an eye for detail. After graduating with a degree in journalism, she has spent more than 15 years helping people and organizations tell their stories. She believes in the power of words to inspire, educate and unite people. In her free time, she writes fantasy novels and delivers presentations on the connections between writing and mental health.
Dr. Sarah Southard, DVM
Sarah grew up at Crooked Oak in the Pine Ridge community of Surry County. Raised in the agriculture world, she went on to earn degrees in animal science and veterinary medicine from North Carolina State University. She and her husband, Adam, and son, Malachi, currently live in Statesville with Oliver the house rabbit, a few cats, Blossom the donkey, and a flock of Katahdin hair sheep.
Larry is the Executive Director for the Alleghany Chamber for Economic Development in the Blue Ridge Mountains of central North Carolina. Some of you may know him as the former co-owner of SLM. He has more than 30 years of experience as a writer, graphic designer, photographer, and book and magazine publisher. Larry and his wife, Trina, have four wonderful, grown children and live on a small farm just off the Blue Ridge Parkway in Grayson County, VA.
Rachael is a wife, mom, athlete, and movement fanatic. As a Certified Personal Trainer, she helps others move, feel, and perform better through strength and mobility coaching. On the off chance you find her not moving in some way, she’ll likely be sitting on the back porch of her home in Cana, VA reading, writing, or staring off into the woods.
A client stepping inside The Calming Center of Mount Airy is greeted by a friendly staff member at the front desk. Unlike many clinical counseling waiting rooms, this lobby feels like a living room. It includes plush seating, a TV, and even a coffee machine to create a homey atmosphere.
Bethany Oberg opened The Calming Center in 2021. Oberg and her team strive to cultivate a comforting and welcoming environment, starting with customized office spaces that offer “an extension of home” rather than a clinical setting.
“We have the coziest office ever,” Oberg said.
The staff help add to this warm, friendly atmosphere by dedicating extra time in their schedules to meet the needs of their clients. To accommodate as many clients as possible, the team stays flexible to find a time that works best for each client, even if that means fitting them in for evening sessions. Typically, Oberg said, a client who calls toward the beginning of the week can be seen by the end of the same week.
Oberg said the practice supports people from all walks of life, including individuals, families, couples, children, members
of the LGBTQIA+ community, and clients from a religious background.
“We are a very inclusive practice,” she said.
For many clients, making the first move toward counseling can be a challenge. While Oberg finds that there is a lot less stigma surrounding mental health compared to when she first started as a counselor, concerns about what people will think can still sometimes prevent a client for reaching out and asking for help.
Oberg understands that clients may be uncomfortable coming to counseling, whether it’s for the first time or with a new provider. When she’s seeing a new client, she always tries to be mindful that she is a “complete stranger” and acknowledges it can be difficult for clients to open up about sensitive topics.
These might include topics like marital conflicts, issues with parent-child relationships, anxiety, depression, trauma, and issues related to substance abuse. Body image concerns, grief and loss, and women’s issues are all topics the team is ready to help with.
Over time, many clients come to trust and value their relationship with their counselor. Several years ago, when Oberg notified clients in Virginia that she would be moving, thirty or forty of them chose to stay with her and continued to meet via Zoom sessions.
“It was just a whole moment,” she said.
Oberg finds that many clients quickly become more comfortable with therapy, often after their first session or experience with The Calming Center. Sometimes the relationship with the client turns into a benefit for the whole family. “We start out with one member of a family, and before you know it, we got grandma in here!” Oberg said.
Although Oberg and her team work hard to provide a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere, they recognize that every client has their own needs and preferences.
Oberg encourages people to go “therapy shopping” to find a counselor who is the right fit. The Calming Center offers free consultations so potential clients can speak with counselors and get a feel for their personality before investing in therapy
services. “Don’t waste your money,” Oberg said. “Give us a call.”
She adds that clients shouldn’t feel pressured to book a second session if it isn’t the right fit. Instead, the team will work with clients to help them find a practitioner who is better aligned with their needs.
Ultimately, Oberg advises potential clients to have an open mind about therapy and counseling, but at the same time, to be picky with their options and ask questions.
At the end of the day, Oberg says one of the most heartwarming things about running the practice comes from knowing her clients can trust her and her team to give them support that they need to improve their daily lives. She jokes with her clients that it’s their job to eventually fire her.
“I’m steadily working myself out of a job,” she said.
The Calming Center of Mount Airy is located at 154 N Renfro Street, Suite 202 in Mt Airy, NC 27030. They are in-network for Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina. For questions about insurance, services, or to request a phone consultation, call (336) 755-8601.
Quote of the Month:
““It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.”
— Hans Selye
1600s
Caroline Stephens Franklin
My grandmother’s grandmother, Caroline Stephens Franklin, raised her children (and later my grandmother) in a log cabin her husband built around 1866 in Wake County, North Carolina. Before they dug a well, they carried water from a spring some distance down a hill from the house. In my grandmother’s words: “I heard grandma say when she had a baby and a ‘knee baby’ and went for water, she would set the baby down about halfway down, pick up the knee baby, run to the spring, get a bucket of water, and run back and change babies, and on to the house.”
1900s
Charles LaPierre
My eighth great-grandfather, Charles LaPierre, was a Huguenot minister who traveled across France preaching with a bounty on his head, even after his wife and her entire family were martyred. After watching a fellow minister tortured and killed on the rack, he finally fled to England in 1698 with his son, John, who later came to America as an Anglican minister.
1800s
My grandmother, Edna Smith Howell, taught school until she married. Her husband died about three months before my father was born in 1927, and she never remarried. She told me once that people greatly discouraged her from raising her son alone. According to her, she was expected to get another husband quickly or send the boy away to be raised by relatives. She refused to do either; instead, she worked two jobs, running the lunchrooms for both schools in Apex and traveling around the county teaching proper canning methods to farmers. My father said that although they were poor, they never went hungry.
The Things That Matter
BY SHERI WREN HAYMOREWhy have I shared sketches from my ancestors’ lives? A glimpse into their lives can give us perspective on the difficulties and stress we face today. Stress is not new to the times that we live in. What may be unique is that we have come to think that it’s up to us to keep the world spinning. We have difficulty focusing on one thing— the task before us, the person in front of us—because our brains are spinning with all the things that we feel certain we must accomplish.
When it was suggested that I write about stress management, my first thought was this: What can I possibly add to the conversation? I’m retired and in good health for the moment, so my stress level is, no doubt, less than many of our readers’. That’s exactly the point, though. The stress anyone experiences will vary depending on the season of life they’re in. Here’s an example: during the season when I was young and balancing a heavy workload with trying to be a good wife and mother, one friend was struggling with infertility and another with finding a suitable career. Another example: while we were building our house and wondering how we were going to make a $314.69 monthly mortgage payment, my sister was a single mom working two jobs to pay the rent and keep her kids fed and clothed. Each life season carries its own stress.
And each person has different stress triggers. You might be terrified of public speaking. Stand me up in front of a crowd to speak, and I’m a whole lot more comfortable than spending fifteen minutes in Costco. You might fear being alone. I fear being cornered by someone who talks incessantly. Think about your stress triggers and notice how closely they may be tied to your fears.
And what can I say about managing stress? All you have to do is watch a talk show, or ask your doctor, or ask Google, and you’ll be told that to manage stress, you should take a nap, exercise, play with the dog, take up a hobby…all of which can sound stressful when you’re already overwhelmed with making the world go around.
I had been pondering these things, when, in the middle of the night, I was awakened from a deep sleep with a single sentence reverberating through my mind, as plainly as if it had been spoken aloud: Don’t let the things of this world distract you from the things that matter.
Let’s break that sentence down. The things of this world. What might that be in this current age? Politics—the divisiveness and suspicion that has permeated our lives from allowing our political beliefs to define us. Perfection—trying to do it all perfectly or pushing our children to be perfect in school, sports, whatever. FOMO—fear of missing out—if we dare to miss a social event, will we be left
out of the next one? Consumerism—it’s easier than ever before to spend more than we make, thanks to credit cards and the internet. Broken homes, a broken health care system, broken churches—it all seems hopeless.
The things of this world. Could that include the “new normal” that we live in? Has there ever been a time in history when insomnia and exhaustion were considered normal? Or when bullying and violence were part of everyday life? Or a time when it was so difficult to discern truth from pretense? Or when we felt so powerless to change things?
Don’t let the things of this world distract you. What distractions are unique to these times? Social media—again, FOMO. The news media—constant tragedy. Busyness—we keep spinning, keep juggling, and, as a result, we can’t focus. Entertainment—it’s so much easier to watch a movie than have a conversation, right? Think about the things that distract you.
Don’t let the things of this world distract you from the things that matter. I have a friend who lives with numerous health challenges. She has good days and bad days, yet I’ve never known anyone who lives with such gratitude, such openness, as she does. She expresses delight in the gifts that each day brings, and she offers encouragement and love to me and everyone she meets. One day at a time, one challenge at a time is the way she moves through life. Tomorrow, she knows, is in God’s hands. My friend understands the things that matter.
The other day, I was in line at the dollar store, minding my own business. In front of me at the checkout was a white-haired lady, a little bent, a little slow. The cashier complimented her customer on her pretty fingernails, which led to a discussion on people’s fingernails, followed by laughter. Next thing I knew, they had drawn me out of my cocoon into their laughter, and the customer left the store smiling, with a bit of spring in her step. Now, did two minutes of kindness pay that cashier’s light bill? I doubt it, but for certain, she knows the things that matter.
Kindness, gratitude, laughter, connection—these things matter because they lift us out of our spinning thoughts, out of ourselves. When that happens, it can allow our mind to relax and sort through possible solutions for our stressful lives.
You may or may not be on speaking terms with your Creator at this point in your life, but it’s almost certain that some of your ancestors were. I know mine were. In Scripture, in the book of Revelation, we’re told that all those generations of prayers are in a bowl before the throne of God, still rising as incense to the only One who is in control. We’re told in the book of Hebrews that our life is like a race with “a great cloud of witnesses”—those people of faith who have gone before us—surrounding us. And we’re told in Zephaniah that God Himself, even now, sings over us with joy.
Relax. Focus on the things that matter, because you, my friend, are not alone.
EMBRACING TRADITION THE SECOND ANNUAL FRIED APPLE FESTIVAL IN SPARTA, NORTH CAROLINA
BY LARRY VAN HOOSEAs the warm breeze carries the sweet scent of apples and cinnamon through the air, the charming town of Sparta, nestled in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains, eagerly awaits the arrival of the second annual Fried Apple Festival. On May 4, 2024, locals and visitors alike will gather to celebrate the fun, deep-rooted heritage of fried apple pies and immerse themselves in the enchanting beauty of the mountains in springtime.
The Fried Apple Festival is a vibrant celebration of tradition, community, and the joy that comes from embracing life’s simple pleasures. With its roots dating back decades to when families gathered in their kitchens to laugh, love, and create these mouthwatering treats, this festival pays homage to the heritage of these sweet delicacies. As the festival kicks off, the tantalizing aroma of freshly fried apple pies fills the air, surrounding visitors with a sense of anticipation and
nostalgia. These pies are not mere handheld desserts—they are a testament to the region’s rich history and the love that is poured into each and every recipe. Passed down from generation to generation, these recipes tell stories of family bonds, cherished memories, and shared traditions.
The festival is not just about indulging in these delectable treats. It is an experience that allows attendees to witness the dedication and expertise of local professional and amateur chefs alike, all working tirelessly to perfect their craft. From the precise measurement of ingredients to the delicate art of crust making, these talented individuals pour their hearts and souls into their creations. The result is a symphony of flavors and textures, with each bite taking you on a journey through time and tradition.
As you savor the mouthwatering deliciousness of a fried apple pie,
your senses will be delighted by the inspirational beauty that surrounds you. The Blue Ridge Mountains, with their rolling vistas and vibrant greenery, provide a picturesque backdrop to the festivities. In the springtime, nature awakens from its winter slumber, blanketing the landscape in a rich tapestry of colors. The trees bloom with delicate flowers, and wildflowers carpet the fields, creating a scene straight out of a postcard.
During the festival, visitors can take a stroll through the booths and displays at the historic Alleghany Fairgrounds, but they may also want to check out the charming streets of downtown Sparta, immersing themselves in the warmth of the community. Local artisans showcase their handcrafted goods, musicians fill the air with melodic tunes, and the restaurants and diners invite you to experience their appetizing offerings in this safe and instantly comfortable atmosphere. Laughter and conversation flow freely as strangers become friends, and a sense of camaraderie fills the air. The festival fosters a sense of belonging and reminds us of the importance of community and connection.
Beyond the pie-centric celebrations, the Fried Apple Festival also serves as a reminder of the intrinsic connection between nature and tradition. The apples harvested and preserved in the fall from nearby farms, orchards, and backyards symbolize the harmony that has always existed between the settlers of this region and the land they call home. It is a testament to the interdependence between tradition and the natural world, reminding us to cherish and protect the treasures of our environment.
The second annual Fried Apple Festival in Sparta, North Carolina, embodies heritage, tradition, and natural beauty. It is a celebration of the simple joys that bring communities together—the art of fried pie-making, the breathtaking landscapes, and the shared experiences that touch our souls. So, mark May 4, 2024 on your calendar and join us in a journey through time and flavor, where the heritage of fried apple pies, the reminder of a simpler time and a hardy people, connects with the splendor of the Blue Ridge Mountains in spring.
FROM SPARK TO FLAME:
CULTIVATING LASTING COMMITMENT IN FITNESS
by RACHAEL WILLIAMS, Certified Personal TrainerWhen we embark on a new fitness journey, the initial surge of motivation makes the first day feel like a breeze. Our minds are filled with possibilities, our hearts race with excitement, and our spirits soar at the thought of the transformation ahead. This spark of motivation is a powerful force, but it’s also fleeting. The real question becomes: what do we do when that motivation wanes and the path ahead seems daunting?
Understanding the interplay between motivation and discipline is important to navigating our fitness journeys. Motivation is that initial spark, the why behind our actions. It’s the vision of our future selves, healthier, stronger, and brimming with vitality. Discipline is the steady flame that keeps us moving forward, day in and day out, even when the initial excitement has dimmed.
When Motivation Wanes
Motivation is often triggered by external factors: a looming beach holiday, an upcoming event, or perhaps health concerns. These factors provide a strong initial push, but they are not always enough to sustain long-term action. This is because motivation is inherently emotional and variable; it ebbs and flows with our moods and circumstances.
It’s a familiar story for many of us. We start with grand plans and genuine enthusiasm, only to find
that as days turn into weeks, enthusiasm dwindles. Life’s responsibilities begin to crowd out our time for exercise, and the sofa becomes a little too inviting. This is where the true challenge lies, not in starting, but in continuing.
The Role of Discipline
This is where discipline comes into play. Discipline is the structure we build around our actions, the routines we establish, and the commitments we make to ourselves. It’s the decision to lace up our running shoes even when it’s raining outside, to head to the gym even when we’re tired after work, or to choose a salad when what we really want is pizza. Discipline is not reliant on our mood or external circumstances; it is a commitment to our long-term well-being over immediate gratification.
The beauty of discipline is that it can be cultivated. It starts with setting realistic goals and creating a plan that fits into our lives. This means not just penciling in gym time, but also planning for meals, rest, and recovery. It’s about breaking down our goals into manageable steps and celebrating the small victories along the way. Each time we choose discipline over the easy way out, we reinforce our commitment to ourselves and our goals.
Strategies for Cultivating Discipline
1. Set Clear, Achievable Goals: Start with what you can manage and gradually increase the challenge. If you’re new to exercise, committing to a 10-minute walk each day might be a good start. As this becomes a habit, you can increase the duration and intensity.
2. Create a Routine: Our minds thrive on routine. By scheduling workouts like any other appointment, you make them a non-negotiable part of your day.
3. Find Accountability: Whether it’s a workout buddy, a personal trainer, or a fitness community, having someone to share your journey with can provide a powerful incentive to keep going.
4. Track Progress: Keeping a log of your workouts, nutrition, and how you feel can be incredibly motivating. Over time, you’ll be able to see just how far you’ve come.
5. Be Kind to Yourself: We all have days when we falter, and that’s okay. The key is not to beat yourself up but to recognize the slip-up and get back on track.
When Discipline Becomes Habit
The ultimate goal is for discipline to become a habit so ingrained in our daily routine that it’s no longer a struggle but simply a part of our day. This doesn’t mean the journey becomes effortless, but rather that the effort becomes a normal and valued part of our lives. Just as brushing our teeth or taking a shower doesn’t usually require a Herculean effort of will, regular exercise and healthy eating can become second nature.
The Interplay of Motivation and Discipline
It’s important to note that motivation and discipline are not mutually exclusive. They can and should coexist. We can reignite our motivation by reminding ourselves of our why, celebrating our progress, and setting new, exciting goals. At the same time, discipline ensures that we continue to make progress even when motivation is not at its peak.
Moving Forward with Purpose
The initial enthusiasm of the first day, while exhilarating, is just the beginning. The true essence of transformation lies in the quieter, more consistent efforts that follow. By blending motivation with discipline, we create a resilient foundation that sustains us through the highs and lows. Each step forward, each choice to prioritize our health, reinforces our path toward a more vibrant and fulfilling life.
Let’s cherish our moments of motivation, use them as sparks to ignite our ambition, and let the steady flame of discipline guide us through the daily commitments to ourselves. Remember, every moment we choose progress we’re not just moving closer to our fitness goals, we’re crafting a lifestyle that celebrates our deepest values and aspirations.
STRESS MANAGEMENT
by EDDIE LOWEI remember studying in school about Ponce de León. It was said he came to Florida looking for the “fountain of youth,” a magical pool of water that would reverse the years. Today in St. Augustine, Florida there is a park named after this mythical fountain. It’s funny to do a Google search and discover that under the heading “Popular times” it says “usually busy between nine am and four pm!” You can even buy tickets. How grand that would be if it were real. And if it were real, I’m sure it would be more busy. For this month, we want to look at how we manage our stress levels. I’ll tie in what helps me. It doesn’t consist of a magic pool of youth-granting water but it does require a trip back in time.
As I crossed the bridge, I could see the river stretch out before me. As I pulled off the side of the road, I could hear the churning of a rapid. Getting closer, I surveyed the eddy it created. I picked a spot for the first cast. My feet dipped into the cool water of the Mitchell River and suddenly, if only for a second, my mind jumped back in time thirty-five years. One of my passions as a teen had been trout fishing and I’d denied myself the privilege of going for many years. Now, it’s my portal back in time. We all have such a gateway leading to a passion long left behind.
But what happened? Why would we stop doing something that brought us such joy? We get busy doing life. There are bills to pay, and a job to do, and kids to raise, and problems to solve, and so we tuck away a magic moment as if we will come back someday. Sadly, in many cases, we never come back. After all, there’s no money to be made at the river, nothing at home will get fixed. So why go in the first place? Because something does need fixing and that something is you.
In the year 1989, just before graduation, some friends and I hiked up to the top of Buffalo Mountain. This was before it was a park. The view
was astounding. I let twenty-seven years pass before hiking up again. That twenty-seven years spanned lots of ups and downs. But as I neared the top, all the memories flooded back of a warm spring day for an eighteen-year-old boy who was graduating in a few hours. If somehow I could magically meet my younger self on top of the mountain, I’d say, “Be sure to come back more often! It will do good for the soul.”
Of course there are some things we’d be foolish to go back to. My friends and I would cruise around Elkin in the late 80’s. I don’t think the people of Elkin would appreciate me riding around in circles blasting music. But every time I go to Elkin, as I enter downtown, my mind rushes back to the bumper to bumper cruising traffic and the joy it brought.
My point is, we all have something we used to do that brought us joy. Generally, we know it when we say, “I haven’t done this in years!” Your passion may be far different than mine but the point is, it’s ok to take some time for yourself. For some reason we deny ourselves this. At times we feel that only we can do our job and it must get done that day. And so time rushes on and we never look back and many times we forget how good it is to be us! Sometimes it is as simple as giving ourselves permission to pull off the road and get out.
To close, I’ll use an illustration to tie it all together. Once I had the task of digging a long ditch. It was in the heat of summer and not easy. As sweat poured from me, I looked at how far I had to go and my heart sank. So I took a chair and instead of placing it at the end of where the ditch would be, I put the chair a few feet out from me. I’d dig until I got to the chair and then take a break. My point is, I found and made a place to take a break. It’s ok to relax. Go back to something good that brought you joy!
Dear Blake,
I am the single mom of a young son. His father is not in the picture, and I have no family nearby. Knowing he needs a good male role model in his life I look for that in a potential partner. The problem is those who are good for him are not always the best for me. How do I find someone that is good for us both?
KEVIN PYLES, PTDear Anonymous, Thank you for your question. Unfortunately, a lot of single parents find themselves facing this quandary. Though it may be a common predicament, there is hardly a common resolution. Finding a good partner can be tough and the difficulty only increases when children are involved. Combining multiple personalities, traits, and interests can be awkward and messy. My parents divorced when I was young, so I witnessed some of this firsthand.
First, I would like to commend you for considering your son’s needs along with yours. I feel like we live in a time when a lot of parents put themselves and their happiness above all else. Bringing someone into a child’s life can be challenging and it can get ugly when the child’s thoughts and feelings are not considered.
Next, I think your definition of a good male role model needs to be defined. The perception of a good
male role model might range from someone who loves and spends time with your son to someone who works long hours as a provider. You must decide on the qualifications necessary based on your household. Perhaps it is better to focus on someone who is good to you and your son rather than for you and your son.
Someone who is good to your son may not meet all the expectations you have for a good male role model. Don’t feel like all your son’s needs must be provided for by your prospective partner. There are plenty of other places and options to meet his needs and possibly provide role models. Many churches have youth groups with youth leaders, most sports provide good coaches and trainers, Boy Scouts have troop leaders, school systems have good male teachers, your son’s friends may have willing fathers, and there are community organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters of America that may be able to help. Utilizing multiple
sources may be a way to relieve some of the expectations you place on a potential partner. The important thing is teaching your son what a good male role model looks like. Another suggestion might be to put off dating for the time being. I know this is not the advice you asked for, but you are juggling many roles. Your son needs a lot of your attention right now. Embrace that depth of need. Even though it is overwhelming and demanding, it will be over way too fast. Your son is becoming a little more independent every day. Eventually, he will be more interested in your well-being than his own. Over time you can shift more of the focus to your needs without interrupting his.
We often hear that, “people find love in the right person when they are not looking and are least expecting it.” I feel like there is some truth in that statement.
I believe if you concentrate on your son’s well-being, God will provide for you and introduce the right man at the right time.
I hope this helps and God fulfills all the needs of you and your son.
Sincerely,
BlakeYou CANNOT Start Over, But You Can Start NOW and Have a NEW Ending
Life is a journey filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, successes and failures. At times, we may find ourselves longing for a fresh start, a chance to wipe the slate clean and begin again. However, the truth is, we cannot go back and start over. We cannot change the past or undo the choices we have made. What we can do is start now and create a new ending.
The concept of starting over can be alluring. It gives us hope that we can leave behind our mistakes, regrets, and missed opportunities. We imagine a clean slate where we can rewrite our story and make better choices. However, dwelling on the past and longing for a do-over can be counterproductive. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of regret and prevents us from moving forward.
Instead of focusing on starting over, we should shift our mindset to starting now. The present moment is all we have, and it is where we have the power to make a change. By accepting our past and taking responsibility for our actions, we can begin to move forward and create a new ending for ourselves.
Starting now requires us to let go of the past and embrace the present. It means acknowledging our mistakes and learning from them, rather than dwelling on them. It means forgiving ourselves and others for past hurts and moving forward with a sense of compassion and understanding.
One of the key aspects of starting now is setting goals and taking action. We must have a sharp vision of what we want to achieve and take the necessary steps to make it happen. This may involve making tough decisions, stepping out of our comfort zones, and facing our fears. It requires perseverance, determination, and a willingness to learn and grow.
Starting now also means being open to new opportunities and possibilities. It means being willing to take risks and embrace change. Sometimes the path to a new ending may not be what we initially envisioned. It may require us to let go of old dreams and embrace new ones. It may involve detours and unexpected challenges. But, by staying open and adaptable, we can navigate these twists and turns and create a new and fulfilling ending for ourselves.
Another important aspect of starting now is surrounding ourselves with positive influences and support. We are greatly influenced by the people we surround ourselves with, so it is crucial to choose our relationships wisely. Surrounding ourselves with people who believe in us, encourage us, and inspire us can make a significant difference in our journey toward a new ending.
Starting now is not always easy. It requires courage, resilience, and a willingness to face our fears and insecurities. It requires us to let go of the familiar and step into the unknown.
In conclusion, while we cannot start over and change the past, we have the power to start now and create a new ending. By letting go of the past, setting goals, taking action, staying open to new possibilities, and surrounding ourselves with positive influences, we can shape our future and create a life that is aligned with our true desires and aspirations. So, let go of the longing for a do-over and embrace the power of starting now. Your new ending awaits.
a vibrant community to come home to. A lifestyle that embraces true independence, friendships, culinary celebrations, and the safety of community. It’s time to enjoy retirement the way it’s meant to be.
INDEPENDENT LIVING ASSISTED LIVING
Mt. Airy’s Premier Retirement Community 1000 Ridgecrest Lane • Mt. Airy, NC 27030 (336) 443.6953 • Ridge-Crest.com
Stressless Sheet Pan Meals
by CARMEN LONG with Simply DeliciousWould you rather be outside enjoying the beautiful spring weather than spending time in the kitchen? Want a quick and delicious dinner without much clean up? A sheet pan meal may be the stress-free answer to your dinner dilemma. Sheet pan meals cook your meat and vegetables in the oven on the same pan at the same time. Use foil or parchment paper to cover your pan to eliminate extra scrubbing. Just throw the cover away when you are finished.
This versatile stressless cooking method works whether you are cooking for a few or a large group. One of my favorites is Simple Sheet Pan Chicken and Vegetables. If you are just cooking for one or two, the amount of each ingredient for the recipe can be reduced. However, the chicken and vegetables reheat well and are delicious when added to a salad or as ingredients in a soup or other dish. So why not cook some extra while your oven is hot? For best quality and safety, refrigerate leftovers and eat within three to four days.
Recipes are only guides. Be creative. Use the vegetables you have on hand, what is in season or on sale, or purchase what you and your family will most enjoy. The possibilities of meat, vegetables, and seasoning combinations are endless. Strive to use vegetables of lots of different colors for the most attractive and nutritious plate. Just remember to cut them into similar size pieces and to give firm vegetables, which take the longest to cook, a head start in the oven. While they begin cooking, you will have time to get the rest of the meal prepped.
There are several ingredients in Simple Sheet Pan Chicken and Vegetables, but don’t let that be discouraging. You are getting your whole meal in this one easy recipe with very few dishes to wash. The delicious taste and extra-fast clean up make up for the prep time.
SIMPLE SHEET PAN CHICKEN AND VEGETABLES
INGREDIENTS
• 1 sweet potato
• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
• 3/4 teaspoons salt (or to taste), divided
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast
• 1 broccoli head (about 2 cups of florets and stems)
• 1 red or orange bell pepper cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1 zucchini squash
• 1 yellow squash
• 1 medium lemon, juiced
• 1 1/2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Note: Due to the liquid that cooks from the chicken and vegetables, the vegetables will not be crisp like roasted vegetables, but they are still delicious.
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. To make cleanup easy, cover with foil a large baking sheet that has at least a 1-inch edge.
2. Scrub and peel sweet potato. (A vegetable peeler makes this job much easier). Cut potato in half lengthwise. Place the flat edge of the potato on the cutting board and cut into bite-size pieces, always working with the flat side down.
3. Place the sweet potato in a large bowl or plastic bag. Drizzle with 1 tablespoon olive oil and sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon black pepper. Toss to coat and then spread into a single layer on the baking sheet. (No need to wash the bowl or throw the bag away just yet. It can be reused to mix the oil and seasonings for other vegetables). Bake for 10 minutes, or until the sweet potato pieces are just beginning to soften on the outside but are still too firm to eat.
4. Wash remaining vegetables and cut into bite-size pieces. It works
Cooking time: 30 minutes
Servings: 4 servings
well to cut the squash into halfinch slices and then cut each slice in half, making half-circle pieces.
5. In the bowl that you used previously for the sweet potato, add the broccoli, bell pepper, zucchini, and yellow squash.
6. Cut the chicken into bite-size pieces. To save time and clean up, ask at the grocery store or meat market if they can cut it for you. Add to the vegetable bag or bowl.
7. Drizzle mixture with the remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil. Add the lemon juice, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, onion powder, and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Toss to coat.
8. Transfer the chicken and vegetable mixture to the sheet pan with the sweet potato. Use a spatula to stir the sweet potato and to spread everything into a fairly even layer.
9. Return the sheet pan to the oven and bake for 20 minutes, stirring once halfway through, or until the chicken is cooked to 165 degrees and the vegetables are tender. Top with Parmesan cheese.
EASY-TO-MAKE LEMON CREAM TART
by RYNN HENNINGS The Sweet and Savory LifeThis easy lemon tart gets its tangy flavor from a powdered lemonade mix. The recipe has a suggested brand, but you can also use other sugared drink mixes. Artificially sweetened lemonade powder can help to cut back on sugar; however, it might alter the taste.
There is no need to use a mixer for the crust or filling. I used a 10 1/4-inch tart pan with a removable bottom to make the crust. However, you can also make this pie in a 10-inch pie dish. This recipe makes a lot of filling—too much to fit into one 8-inch pie dish. If you want to make an 8-inch pie, cut the filling recipe in half or use the recipe as written and it will make two 8-inch pies.
This recipe uses a crust made from almond flour. Almond flour is made from ground almonds, making this a naturally gluten-free crust. However, you can substitute graham cracker crumbs for almond flour. Also, you can use either almond flour or almond meal, whichever you have on hand.
INGREDIENTS
Crust
• 1 1/4 cups almond flour
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
Filling
• 2/3 cup lemonade powdered drink mix (Country Time used)
• 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
• 16 ounces sour cream
• 8 ounces whipped topping, thawed (Cool-Whip used)
• 1 lemon, sliced (optional for garnish)
DIRECTIONS
Crust
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. In a medium bowl, mix together the almond flour, sugar, and salt. Pour in the melted butter and stir until well blended.
3. Place the crust mixture into a 10-inch wide by 1-inch deep tart pan (spray first with cooking spray if not using a nonstick pan). Press and tamp the crust into the bottom and up the sides of the pan using a small smooth-bottomed cup.
4. Bake for 8 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from the oven and cool completely, about 30 minutes.
Filling
1. In a mixing bowl, add the condensed milk and lemonade drink powder. Stir until well mixed and the lemonade powder dissolves. Add the sour cream and stir. Then add the Cool Whip and fold in until well mixed.
2. Pour the mixture into the cooled crust. Refrigerate until cold and serve chilled. Garnish with lemon slices.
SWEET AND SAVORY HINTS
• This tart can also be served frozen. Let it sit for 15-20 minutes before serving.
• Crust substitution: You can substitute graham crackers for almond flour and reduce the sugar to 2 tablespoons.
• To ensure that the tart lifts easily out of the tart pan, either use a nonstick pan or grease a regular pan.
• If you are short on time, use two 8-ounce graham cracker ready-made pie crusts and divide the batter between them.
For more recipes and entertaining and lifestyle hints, visit Rynn’s blog at thehouseofelynryn.com
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 8 minutes
Pets &
Pet Your Pet to De-Stress
by SARAH SOUTHARD, DVMEarlier today I had to make a dreaded shopping trip to a retailer that I would rather avoid when possible. With a lengthy list in hand, I made my way through the store retrieving the necessities (and a few not-so-necessary items too). Things went well. I found everything that I needed, and headed home.
While nothing adverse had happened while shopping, I found on my way home that my brain was scrambled. I couldn’t think clearly. Even as I began to fix supper, I just couldn’t get my head in the game. Then, I looked out one of our kitchen windows and was delighted to see that Gussie, my Brown Swiss heifer, had come across from the far side of the pasture to the nearest gate. I paused dinner preparations and went out for a visit.
Gussie is very much a pet, having been raised as a show calf. She isn’t your typical beef or dairy cow that doesn’t care for petting and such. I talked to her and gave her a nice grooming with her favorite curry comb. Much like a housecat, she likes under-thejaw scratches the best.
We enjoyed each other’s company for several minutes before I figured I should probably return to cooking supper. I noticed, though, that these few minutes of slowing down and petting one of my many pets had seemed to reset my mind. It was no longer racing from one thing to another, unable to function efficiently. I was no longer addled and was overall more settled. I had just proven what many scientific studies have shown regarding companion animal ownership and interaction and its positive effects on stress levels and overall well-being in humans.
Petting a dog has been shown to reduce cortisol levels in humans. Cortisol is a stress hormone that, when chronically
elevated, can have adverse effects on the immune system, blood sugar regulation, and weight control. Interacting with animals can increase levels of oxytocin, a hormone associated with positive feelings. While most studies have involved dogs and cats, they certainly are not the only species that are effective. Decreased blood pressure and heart rate have been linked to various types of animal contact as well. Simply watching fish swim in an aquarium can offer heart health benefits.
Decreased anxiety and improved social interactions with humans have been observed in children with such diagnoses as autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder following positive companion animal interactions. Post-traumatic stress disorder patients report decreased anxiety after being paired with a service dog. Almost half of these patients were also able to decrease certain medications. It’s for good reason that therapy dogs are routinely brought into long-term care facilities to help decrease anxiety, stress, and depression in residents. Companion animal ownership and interaction has many potential health benefits for folks of all ages.
Though animal ownership may offer the most opportunities for consistent health advantages, it is possible to reap some good by simply “borrowing” others’ pets if pet ownership is not a good option for you. Helping to care for neighbors’ animals or volunteering in various capacities with shelters or rescues can be advantageous for your mental and physical well-being. Companion animals are a great tool in the box for helping manage and alleviate stresses in life. Whether you own pets or not, you may reap great rewards from furry, feathered, or scaly companions.
THERAPEUTIC GARDENING
by JOANNA RADFORDAn occupational hazard of mine is talking to people about gardening. Whether it be vegetable gardening or flower gardening, more times than not, the conversation expands to folks telling me how good they feel when they are playing in the soil, or better yet, “digging in the dirt.” This made me wonder if there is something scientific about this. Are there any health benefits to gardening?
More research is being done to examine this concept and there is increasing evidence that there are indeed positive effects on mental and physical health. Gardens have been used in hospitals for hundreds and even thousands of years because of the positive effects on patients, visitors, and staff. If space is not available on the surrounding outdoor grounds, many times, indoor atriums will be utilized. Depending on the space available, adaptations are sometimes made to ease accessibility so the most people can enjoy. Glancing through
the landscape today, there are more green spaces and gardens located in and near hospitals, schools, hospices, nursing homes, rest homes, and prisons.
Research in several countries is associating gardening with a lower prevalence of dementia and with positive health effects1. The reason may be simple. People who garden increase their physical activity level. They are exposed to Vitamin D—good ole sunlight—and they are in nature. If you have ever dug in the soil, raked leaves, or even mowed, you have felt how rigorous the workout can be. I would bet this workout might just rank up there with a visit to the gym.
Over the past couple of years, the NC State Extension Master GardenerSM (EMG) volunteers have presented therapeutic gardening programs in Surry County. These programs embrace the healing power of nature to promote physical and emotional well-being. Plants are always involved
1Masashi Soga, Kevin J. Gaston, and Yuichi Yamaura, “Gardening is beneficial for health: a meta-analysis,” Preventative Medicine Reports (Mar 2017): 5:92–99, https://doi.org/ 10.1016/j.pmedr.2016.11.007.
in the programs and are used to connect people with nature. Participants have fun learning and leave the programs feeling better than when they arrived.
There is a different program theme each month and programs are offered at various locations. During the month of April, participants will have the opportunity to learn from an EMG volunteer about hummingbirds and how to care for them. Everyone will create a hanging basket with favorite hummingbird flowers to take home. One of the most popular EMG workshops, Tomatoes in a Bucket, will be offered in May with a slight twist. Participants will learn how to use an
EMGV Workshop Schedule
Happy Healthy Hummingbirds
April 9, 2024 | 1:00 pm
Mount Airy Senior Center
401 Technology Lane, Suite 200
Mt. Airy, NC 27030
Call: 336-415-4225 to register
Happy Healthy Hummingbirds
April 11, 2024 | 1:00 pm
Pilot Mountain Senior Center (Room 205)
873 Old US 52 Bypass
Pilot Mountain, NC 27041
Call: 336-368-2012 (ext. 1052) to register
Happy Healthy Hummingbirds
April 25, 2024 | 2:00 pm
Mount Airy Public Library
145 Rockford Street
Mt. Airy, NC 27030
Call: 336-789-5108 to register
Tomatoes in a Bucket – with Ollas
May 9, 2024 | 1:00 pm
Pilot Mountain Senior Center (Room 205)
873 Old US 52 Bypass
Pilot Mountain, NC 27041
Call: 336-368-2012 (ext. 1052) to register
Tomatoes in a Bucket – with Ollas
May 14, 2024 | 1:00 pm
Mount Airy Senior Center
401 Technology Lane, Suite 200
Mt. Airy, NC 27030
Call: 336-415-4225 to register
olla irrigation system—an ancient technique using a clay pot. Each person will leave with a five-gallon bucket, a tomato plant, and a unique watering system. The June EMG workshop will focus on Season Pollinator Plantings. Information shared in this workshop will help gardeners select plants for the season and teach them how to help extend the bloom time of their plantings. Participants will take home a container they have planted with various flowers to enjoy throughout the seasons. Everyone is welcome to attend the workshops. Registration is required and all classes are free.
Tomatoes in a Bucket – with Ollas
May 23, 2024 | 2:00 pm
Mount Airy Public Library
145 Rockford Street
Mt. Airy, NC 27030
Call: 336-789-5108 to register
Three Season Pollinator Planting
June 11, 2024 | 1:00 pm
Mount Airy Senior Center
401 Technology Lane, Suite 200
Mt. Airy, NC 27030
Call: 336-415-4225 to register
Three Season Pollinator Planting
June 20, 2024 | 2:00 pm
Mount Airy Public Library
145 Rockford Street
Mt. Airy, NC 27030
Call: 336-789-5108 to register
Three Season Pollinator Planting
June 27, 2024 | 1:00 pm
Pilot Mountain Senior Center (Room 205)
873 Old US 52 Bypass
Pilot Mountain, NC 27041
Call: 336-368-2012 (ext. 1052) to register
S p e e c h T h e r a p y
Navigating Life with a Horse, Faith, and Common Sense
by DERINA PYLES“Can you please quit inspecting me so closely Hay-Woman? You are stressing me out! I feel like I’m getting one of those prepurchase exams by the vet before you get sold.” Traveler backed his big Quarter Horse rump toward the corner of the stall in an attempt to get away from me.
“Me stressing you out? That’s kinda funny coming from you, Traveler,” I said, my sarcasm unhidden. “Get a horse they said, it will be fun they said.” I rolled my eyes hard. The last couple of months with my heart horse had been a big fat zero on the fun scale. In fact, it had been downright terrifying at times.
First, he had a colic episode that entailed a trip to the vet hospital two hours away and a five-day hospital stay for him. Once home, he had to have medicine administered every six
hours around the clock for fourteen days. About a week after that cleared, during turnout time, he gouged his chest open while frolicking in the pasture. That resulted in eight stitches, a round of antibiotics, and another emergency vet call. The culprit was still unknown after many hours of scouring every inch, nook, and cranny of the field.
The straw that almost broke the camel’s back, that camel being me, happened only two weeks later when I arrived for the morning feedings and he came limping out of his stall. To my relief, it had only been one of his shoes that had come off during the night. It did require another visit from the farrier who had just visited three days prior.
“Wait, who’s ‘they’ and why do I get the impression you wish you hadn’t listened to them?” Traveler seemed genuinely perplexed at my statement.
“Do I really have to rehash all we have been through the last couple of months? If I do, Traveler, I may just break down crying right here in this stall. Right now, all I am focusing on is keeping you healthy and paying all these vet bills. I guess I’ll have to put off buying that custom saddle another year. Dang, I really wanted that saddle,” I mumbled.
“Oh, so it’s a Hay-Woman pity party. I get it.” He pointed his ears forward and declared, “Did you know stress can cause ulcers along with many other health related illnesses?”
“I do know that, but my question is, how do you know?” Traveler was so nonchalant about his statement that he caught me off guard.
“I heard the vet say it. I know you don’t think I do, but I listen to her when she comes around. My point is, stress isn’t good for you or me. Do you agree?” He could tell I was impressed, and he puffed out his grey chest, proud of himself.
“Well, yes, of course.” I could feel the tension leaving the air.
He went on confidently, “Would God want you to feel stressed about things that we have no control over? Or would he want you to live every day focusing on our blessings and his love for us?”
“That’s easy to answer. You are right, Traveler. My stress level has been so high that I forgot to count my blessings every day. Thank you for the reminder. I am so happy you are here with me.” I hugged him tight, grateful I had him, and together we had our faith to help us navigate life.
April EVENTS
MOUNT AIRY
Tuesday, April 2, 2024 | 7:00 pm
Trivia Tuesday
Historic Earle Theatre
142 N Main St
Mount Airy, NC 27030
Thursday, April 4, 2024 | 3:30 pm
Bilingual Guitar Lessons
Historic Earle Theatre
142 N Main St
Mount Airy, NC 27030
Thursday, April 4, 2024 | 6:00 pm
Reader’s Theatre
215 Rockford St
Mount Airy, NC 27030
Every Fri. in April | 9:00 am - 1:00 pm
Surry County Farmers Market
111 S Main St
Mount Airy, NC 27030
Wednesday, April 9, 2024 | 7:00 pm
Spoken Word Society Open Mic
301 N Main St
Mount Airy, NC 27030
Saturday, April 20, 2024 | 10:00 am - 5:00 pm
Downtown Art Walk
190 Virginia St
Mount Airy, NC 27030
Wednesday, April 24, 2024 | 1:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Monthly Book Club
Mount Airy, NC 27030
ELKIN
Friday, April 12, 2024 | 11:00 am - 8:00 pm
Food Truck Fridays
101 W Market St
Elkin, NC 28621
Saturday, April 20, 2024 | 3:00 pm
Earth to Elkin
The RailYard
203 W Depot Alley
Elkin, 28621
Saturday, April 22, 2024 | 9:00 am - 1:00 pm
Elkin Farmers Market
101 W Market St
Elkin, NC 28621
Family Medicine
a department of Northern Regional Hospital
Family Medicine Practice in Dobson, North Carolina
“Northern Regional Hospital is pleased to expand high-quality family medicine services to the Dobson community,” said Chris A. Lumsden, FACHE, President and Chief Executive Officer of Northern Regional Hospital.
The Family Medicine practice includes six exam rooms, a dedicated procedure room, an open nurses’ station, and a lab with access to physicians in Cardiology, Gastroenterology, General Surgery, Obstetrics and Gynecology, Orthopedics, and Urology who are conveniently located close to home.
Dr. Mendoza and physician assistant Mathew Reynolds, PA-C, diagnose and treat adult and pediatric patients, welcome walk-ins, and offer same-day appointments for your healthcare needs.
Mathew Reynolds, PA-C Jose L. Mendoza, MD
Northern Family Medicine in Dobson is open Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. For more information, call Northern Family Medicine in Dobson at (336) 783-8100, or visit our website at ChooseNorthern.org.
Nestled in the rolling hills of Asbury in Mt. Airy is a unique country church filled with love.
Bring us your troubles and find a shoulder to lean on.
Bring us your fear and find your brave.
Bring us your anxiety and find your peace.
Asbury Evangelical Presbyterian Church
1084 Flippen Rd. • Mt. Airy, NC 27030
336-351-4040 • asburyEPC@gmail.com
BestChurchInWestfield.com