Illuminati: A Journal of the Arts - Spring 2022

Where’s My Lemon? i always order the water with lemon and they always forget but i hold my tongue because i don’t want to make a scene like my grandma says “you are too emotional” so i learn to swallow my feelings never truly satisfied my wants never satiated my needs put last because my family believed i was under them people believed i was next to nothing the world saw me as a disposable object so i fought hard to be useful to the world to people to my family but not myself for i saw myself as that burdensome load never needed. just too much my need for happiness was too much i didn’t deserve that i should be happy with what i got because like my auntie said “people have less than you” for you are ungrateful too ungrateful for love for a hug when you need comfort a kiss to confirm their affection for the simple words of “i love you” pulled from their tightened lips like it was a chore ✦51✦