Mendo Lake Family Life April 2023

Camp ABCs

What to ask

Good Deeds

How kids can volunteer

Nature Apps

Identify bugs

6 ways to help

COVID-19 has been a really long and difficult fight, and the fight is changing quickly. With new, highly contagious variants it’s important to stay up to date with your COVID vaccination (including booster shots).

Even if you’ve had COVID-19, getting vaccinated and staying boosted is the best way to keep you and everyone around you protected.

Sharon Gowan Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us

rees are leafing out and the land is an emerald green. It’s spring! And soon a certain bunny who fills baskets with goodies will arrive. Looking for Easter fun? Check out “Egg Hunts!” (page 27). If you want to dial down how much chocolate and Peeps your family eats, read “Better than Easter Sweets” (page 16) for non-candy items to put in your kids’ baskets. And if family and friends will be having Sunday brunch at your place, Momma Chef’s Brioche French Toast Casserole (“Baked French Toast,” page 7) is an easy, low-stress people-pleaser.

Besides everyone’s favorite bunny, spring also welcomes our annual Camp Fair. This year’s fair is on April 14, 3–7 p.m., at Coddingtown Mall in Santa Rosa. In addition to the fair, there’ll be a

Ttalent show highlighting the gifts of local students. Presented by Julie Nation Academy, together with Sonoma Family Life, the show will start at 5:30 p.m. on Coddingtown’s Center Court stage. To get inspired before the big day, read “Summer Camp ABCs” (page 10) to find out what kinds of questions to ask the many camp representatives who will be at the fair. And, while you’re strolling from booth to booth, don’t forget to take part in the fun giveaways. If you can’t make it, check out the Virtual Camp Fair at sonomafamilylife.com

After the fair is over, another important spring event arrives—Earth Day. Turn to “Celebrate Earth Day” (page 9) and the Calendar of Events (page 26) for details about local festivities.

Have a joyful April!

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Contributing Writers

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Shannon Carpenter

Natalie Dal Pra

Tanni Haas

Pam Moore

Karen Nochimowski

Sita-Marie Pillay

Pamela Roggeman

Agnes Wong

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Baked French Toast

Make an Easy Brunch Fave

By Momma Chef

Idedicate this recipe to parents everywhere. We’re all working overtime, and we deserve a day off. While this may be a pipe dream, we can still make things easier for ourselves in the kitchen. For instance, my kids love French toast, but standing in front of a skillet for 30 minutes making 15 pieces of French toast is not my idea of a good time. That’s why I love this recipe: Prep it in five minutes, let sit, pop it in the oven, and, viola, breakfast is served. My kids like to drizzle syrup on their individual pieces, rather than on the entire casserole. I say go for it. ❖

Karen Nochimowski is the author of 6-Minute Dinners (& More!), a newly released cookbook filled with more than 100 simple recipes with six or fewer ingredients, including nut-free and allergy-friendly options. Gloria Estefan, Alex Borstein, Katie Couric, Howie Mandel, Margaret Cho, Barbara Corcoran, and many others have written testimonials for it. Karen also started and runs Momma Chef’s Soup Kitchen and Momma Chef’s Little Free Pantries. Part of the proceeds from the cookbook will go towards feeding those facing food insecurity.

Brioche French Toast Casserole

Ingredients

• 14–16 oz. loaf brioche bread

• 1/3 cup melted butter

• 2 ½ cups whole milk

• 6 eggs

• ½ cup brown sugar

• 1 tbsp. vanilla

Instructions

1. Slice brioche bread into 1” slices and then cut those into 1” cubes.

2. Pour melted butter into a 9” x 13” baking dish and coat the dish well.

3. Layer bread into a greased baking dish.

4. In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, eggs, brown sugar, and vanilla and pour evenly over the bread.

5. I like to let this sit in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours or, if possible, overnight.

6. When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350°F and bake uncovered for 35–40 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

7. Remove from the oven and let sit for 5–10 minutes before serving.

Serves: 9

Learn About Child Abuse

Child abuse is a tragedy, but as Sita-Marie Pillay, PsyD, says in this issue’s article “Unseen Child Abuse” (see page 18), it’s not uncommon. Sometimes it happens without detection, which is why the Children’s Advocacy Walk and Festival aims to raise awareness about the problem. With its theme, Celebrating the World’s Children, this year’s festival will offer free games, food, resources, and prizes. Check it out on April 15, 10 a.m.–2 p.m., in Library Park in Lakeport and on April 29, 10 a.m.–3 p.m., in Austin Park in Clearlake. See lakecoe.org/ childabuseprevention for details.

See Steve Martin’s ‘Meteor Shower’

It’s 1993 in Ojai, California, and two couples have gathered to watch a meteor shower. But as conversation and cocktails flow, the friendly evening turns sour as one couple tries to destroy the happy marriage of the other. Such is the plot of Steve Martin’s play Meteor Shower, which comments on modern marriage as it delivers the witty one-liners for which Martin is known. Willits Community Theatre will stage this adult comedy April 7–23 on Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays (except April 9) at 2 p.m. Tickets are $20 and may be purchased at wctperformingartscenter.org.

Have Brekkie with Bunny

Even mythical creatures get hungry. At Breakfast with the Easter Bunny, diners get to chow down with a floppy-eared favorite. The event, which benefits local low-cost and free youth programs, will feature a chance to take a photo with the rabbit of the hour plus fill up on pancakes, sausages, eggs, and beverages. There will also be an egg hunt and crafts. The fun goes down on April 9, 9 a.m.–noon, at Burns Valley Elementary in Clearlake. Tickets are $8 for kids and $10 for adults. For more egg hunts and Easter activities, see our Calendar of Events (page 26).

Go Down the Rabbit Hole

What if Alice in Wonderland took place in the Wild West? It’s an idea that Sixth Street Players runs with in its spin on the fantastical Lewis Carroll tale. The troupe will stage a preview of its Alice in Wonderland on April 5 at 7 p.m., to benefit the Grace Hudson Museum. The show will be held at the Ukiah Playhouse in Ukiah; admission is $30 and includes appetizers at a 6 p.m. reception, and coffee and desserts at intermission. Purchase tickets at tinyurl.com/yx74ba5w. After the preview performance, the play will run April 6–30 with 7 p.m. shows on Thursdays–Saturdays and 2 p.m. shows on Sundays (except April 9). Tickets are $23 and may be purchased at ukiahplayerstheatre.org

Take an Easter Train

Don’t want to wait for the Easter Bunny?

The Skunk Train’s Easter Express brings the impatient to the Keeper of the Eggs. The special two-hour round-trip excursion runs from Willits Depot in Willits to a redwood grove, where passengers will get to hunt for eggs, eat treats, and visit the Easter Bunny. The train runs from April 7–9 with departures at 10:30 a.m. and, on April 8 and 9, 1:30 p.m. Tickets are $64.95; dogs are $10.95 and infants on laps are free. Purchase tickets at skunktrain.com/easter-express.

Celebrate Earth Day

The first Earth Day was held on April 22, 1970. Senator Gaylord Nelson created the day to force a national discussion of environmental concerns. And not long after, the Environmental Protection Agency came into being. More than five decades later, with climate change a global concern, eco-activists say Earth Day is more important than ever. Locally, it will be celebrated at the Calpine Geothermal Visitor Center in Middletown. The free event, which will be held on April 22, 10 a.m.–3 p.m., will include live music, Middletown Community Garden tours, information and vendor booths, horse and pony rides, face painting, and other family-friendly activities. Go to middletownartcenter. org/events.html for more information.

Easter Express

Summer Camp ABCs

How to Choose a Camp Your Kids Will Love

By Kimberly Blaker

Whether you’re looking for enrichment for your child, a way to keep your kids occupied and supervised while you work, or you need a short reprieve from parenting, there’s sure to be a summer camp that’s the right fit for your child and family.

Summer Camp Benefits Many kids thrill at the idea of going away to summer camp. Still, for some kids, particularly those who are shy, introverted, or homebodies, the thought of going away for a night, let alone a week or more, can cause considerable anxiety. When kids are adamantly opposed to camp, forcing it on them may not be in their best interest.

But for kids who are eager—or at least willing to give it a shot without much fuss—summer camp offers opportunities kids may not have elsewhere. Summer camp fosters:

• development of new and lasting friendships

• independence

• development of new skills

• discovery of new interests and hobbies

• opportunities for creative expression

• breaks from being plugged-in

• daily exercise

• self-esteem

• teamwork

• community

• learning retention

Start the Search Before you begin looking into summer camps, create a list of the criteria you’re looking for. Here are some things you’ll want to consider.

• What is your budget for summer camp?

• What is the purpose of sending your child to summer camp?

• Do you want a resident (overnight) or a day camp?

• Are you looking for a short-term (week or two) or summer-long program?

Keep your children’s choices in mind to ensure they get the most out of summer camp.

• Do you want a camp that’s very structured or one that provides your children with lots of freedom and choices?

• What are your children’s passions, such as a particular sport, hobby, or other interest?

Once you’ve narrowed down some criteria, you can begin your search. An excellent place to start is Sonoma Family Life ’s Camp Fair, which will be held on April 14, 3–7 p.m., at Coddingtown Mall in Santa Rosa. You can also do an online search at Sonoma Family Life ’s virtual camp fair at sonomafamilylife.com or visit summercamps.com, where you can search by zip code or category. The American Camp Association (ACA), which accredits summer camps, is also an excellent resource: acacamps.org.

Next Steps Once you’ve selected a few summer camps that meet your primary criteria and fit your children’s interests, share the

choices with your children to see what excites them. Be sure to let your children know upfront that you still need to thoroughly investigate the camp(s) before making a final decision. But keep your children’s choices in mind to ensure they get the most out of camp.

Once you and your children have narrowed the list to a manageable selection, you’ll want to investigate the camps further. There are several things you’ll want to consider:

What are the staff’s qualifications? Teens often staff camps; they make excellent mentors and lively program guides. However, the programs themselves should be developed by professionals and have professional oversight to ensure

kids are getting the most from their camp experience.

How does the camp ensure children’s safety? Find out what kind of safety training the camp provides its staffers. Also is there always someone on hand who knows CPR? What are the camp’s procedures in the event your children become ill or have an accident or emergency?

What is the schedule? Ask for a day-to-day itinerary, so you and your children know what to anticipate.

What are the rules? Are your children allowed to call you? If it’s a summer-long residential camp, can parents come and visit? Can kids bring along a cell phone or electronics? Also, how much

money can they bring and how is it managed?

Don’t sweat it. Keep in mind, although there are many great camps, no camp is likely to offer everything precisely the way you want it. Choose the one that best fits your children and satisfies your most important criteria. Remember, your children still have many more summers ahead of them—and plenty of opportunities for exciting camp experiences. ❖

Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer. She also owns an online bookshop, Sage Rare & Collectible Books, specializing in out-of-print, scarce, signed, and first editions; fine bindings; ephemera and more at sagerarebooks.com

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What’s That Bug?

Nature Apps Identify Flora and Fauna

EarthTalk® is from the editors of E: The Environmental Magazine.

Dear EarthTalk: What are some of the best apps out there for helping identify plants and/or wildlife?

J. Moser, Summertown, SC

Not surprisingly in this day and age, you don’t need a PhD to identify plants and animals out in the natural world. All you need is a smartphone and an app.

One of the best known and most downloaded of this new breed of ID apps is iNaturalist (inaturalist.org), a joint initiative of the California Academy of Sciences and National Geographic. You can use it to take a photo of a plant or animal and get a list of possible species based on your location. And if that doesn’t work, you can escalate to a community

of expert naturalists via the app to help identify more obscure species.

If footprints are all you have to identify wildlife passing through your area, check out the iTrack Wildlife app (naturetracking.com/ itrack-wildlife). To use it, simply input a few basic descriptors (size of the track, number and shape of toes, claws visible or not, etc.) and then get back a list of likely matches. The app is also searchable offline if you’re beyond cell range.

Bird enthusiasts will appreciate Cornell Lab of Ornithology’s Merlin Bird ID (merlin.allaboutbirds.org).

You can upload a photo and/or enter information about the bird you saw, such as its size, location, and colors observed, and the app uses artificial intelligence (AI) to give you back a list of possible species.

Meanwhile, the BirdNet app (birdnet.cornell.edu), also from Cornell’s ornithologists, utilizes recordings of birdsong to tell you which avian species are nearby. When you launch BirdNet, it records the noise in your surroundings and can zero in on a specific chirp or call to identify which bird is making it. So far, the app has cataloged more than 1,000 of the most common bird species in North America and Europe.

Want to identify that creepy crawly making its way across the path?

Picture Insect uses AI to match the insect you have photographed against its database of insect photos contributed by some three million users to make a match and let you know just what you’re dealing with. Likewise, the company behind Picture Insect (Glority, glority.com) also offers Picture Fish, Picture Bird, Picture Mushroom, Picture Animal, and Picture This (for plants), all of which use AI to help ID different types of living things from your photos.

LeafSnap’s developers report that the app can recognize 90 percent of all known flora species on the planet.

Meanwhile, the LeafSnap app (leafsnap.app), developed by the Smithsonian Institution, Columbia University, and the University of Maryland, uses visual recognition technology to identify thousands of plants, flowers, fruits, and trees from user-submitted photos of leaves. LeafSnap’s developers report that the app can recognize 90 percent of all known flora species on the planet. You can download the app to your phone and make use of it even without an Internet connection.

Another app beloved to help identify plants and trees is PlantSnap (plantsnap.com), which uses machine learning technology and AI to determine the species of the plant, flower, or shrub pic you have just snapped. The Colorado-based start-up behind this app has collected upwards of 475 million plant images in its database, which it has leveraged to identify more than 650,000 plants for users around the world. ❖

EarthTalk® is produced by Roddy Scheer & Doug Moss for the 501(c)3 nonprofit EarthTalk. See more at emagazine.com . To donate, visit earthtalk.org Send questions to: question@earthtalk.org

The BirdNet app utilizes recordings of birdsong to tell you which avian species are nearby.

Good Deeds

15 Ways Kids Can Serve Their Communities

By Tanni Haas

April is National Volunteer Month, a great occasion to teach your kids the value of caring for their community, especially for those members who can’t care very well for themselves. Here are 15 practical suggestions for what they can do.

1. Visit sick kids at the hospital. This is a wonderful gesture to make during school breaks, when convalescing children may be most aware that everyone else is having fun.

2. Donate clothing and food to a homeless shelter. This will teach your kids the value of giving to those much less fortunate than themselves.

3. Help senior citizens learn to use technology. Many older folks need help with tech basics—how to search the Internet, send emails, and navigate their smartphones—so that they can better communicate with family and friends.

4. Help coach a sports team with younger kids. This can be any sport they are good at or just like playing.

5. Assist senior citizens with daily tasks. Kids can offer to get groceries or run errands around town.

6. Ask the library or school if they need tutors. Sometimes kids can explain things to their peers in a way that makes more sense than what an adult can cook up. Older children can help younger ones with reading, writing, and basic math.

7. Volunteer for a clean-up day at a park. Go to parks.

sonomacounty.ca.gov/play/calendar or coastal.ca.gov/publiced/cleanups. html for local opportunities.

8. Help out at charity shops. These shops rely on volunteers and can always use another helping hand.

9. Visit the residents at a nursing home or assisted living facility. Many residents get fewer visits from family and friends than most people realize.

Many older folks need help with tech basics.

10. Organize a back-to-school supplies drive. At the end of the summer, ask the community to donate to kids whose families have fallen on hard times.

11. Help care for animals at an animal shelter. There’s nothing like giving a little love to an abandoned dog or cat.

12. Organize a community get-together. Community centers are great places to host movie screenings, dances, or group activities that encourage collaboration and bonding.

13. Donate books. Local schools may need used textbooks and test-prep manuals.

14. Walk dogs. Neighbors who are injured, sick, or otherwise unable to exercise their pets will be grateful for the assistance.

15. Bring green thumbs to a community garden. Plant flowers and vegetables, weed, water, or just help with upkeep and maintenance.

Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor.

Better than Easter Sweets

10 Non-Candy Bunny Basket Treats

By Natalie Dal Pra

Every time we turn a corner, there’s another holiday where sugar is everywhere. It’s gotten to the point where we have to avoid the holiday section of Target so our kids don’t go into a frenzy over all the sweets. With Easter almost here, the bunny might be scrambling to come up with creative basket gifts that won’t cause treat overload. Here are some of my favorites.

Books Go with an Easter theme, or be totally random and stock their shelves with a few classics.

Rainy Day Accessories Even if your child has a pair of rain boots already, they’re most likely covered in mud and could probably use an upgrade. An upside down umbrella also serves as a cute and functional

Nothing says spring like a fresh box of sidewalk chalk or a jump rope.

“basket,” and helps prepare kids for soggy spring weather.

Sleepwear After you pack up the winter PJs, bunny pajamas or

a new set of slippers are welcome additions to the bedtime routine.

Garden Tools Have them help plant this spring. Include some gloves, a shovel, and seeds to get your kids in the mood for the outdoor season.

Jenga, Children’s Pictionary, and travel

Scrabble are great for bringing along on spring break trips.

Outdoor Toys Nothing says spring like a fresh box of sidewalk chalk or a jump rope. Now is the time to purge your garage of old, broken toys and welcome the warm weather with new outdoor goodies.

Craft Supplies New Play-Doh, clay, markers, or a set of crayon “eggs” will spark spring creativity.

Summer Sandals Chances are, everyone has outgrown last year’s footwear. Get ready for warmth with a fresh pair of kicks.

Games Everyone loves a good family game night. Jenga, Children’s Pictionary, and travel Scrabble are great for bringing along on spring break trips, too.

Movies Grab a few movies for those rainy spring afternoons.

Indoor Toys Your indoor playroom might need some love, too, especially if you’ve recently donated old toys. Matchbox cars, dolls, Legos, Etch A Sketch; the possibilities for easy, affordable trinkets are endless. ❖

Natalie Dal Pra is a freelance writer.

Unseen Child Abuse

Pay Attention to Subtle Signs

By Sita-Marie Pillay

We think that we can spot child abuse. We search for bruises on the skin of the kid in the back of the class. We wonder about the child who resists going to the restroom. But can we spot emotional and mental abuse? How about the child who doesn’t show any signs of flinching or anger, the child who smiles and laughs and goes through life putting others first and being self-reliant? Do we stop and wonder what experiences might have matured that child so young?

The law in California defines child abuse as emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect. In this article, however, I am less concerned with the legal definitions of abuse and more with spotting subtleties that convince us that a child needs help.

As a psychologist working in community mental healthcare, I have seen child abuse present in

many ways. The visible signs of physical abuse—bruises and scars— can be easy to recognize. The signs of neglect are subtler: for instance, being unkempt or chronically unwell, not going to school or the doctor. Sexual abuse leaves marks in areas that clothing typically covers so that the emotional symptoms may be the most evident.

Emotional abuse can be the most difficult to spot of all, as repeated insults, manipulation, isolation, brainwashing, and withholding of love and support all too often leave no visible signs.

Many of us in helping and childcare professions are trained to look for physical signs of abuse, but we also know there are invisible scars. How do any of us who care for children spot those signs of abuse? Regularly checking in with children regarding their feelings of safety, invisibility, and hurt can be immensely helpful. Instead of dismissing how they’re feeling, ask “What’s going on for you right now?“

It may seem daunting to ask a 16-year-old, let alone a two-year-old, this question. But children often express surprising insight, and they can give valuable information when asked. So query, “Where does it hurt? Who made the ouch?” Listen to what they say when they point to their heart versus their arm; notice if their ears get hot.

Just being curious can be powerful for you and the victim.

In most cases, the abuser is someone a child knows.

In most cases, the abuser is someone a child knows. This is terrifying and makes it seem that there is little you can do, but there are ways that you can help. Just being curious can be powerful for you and the victim. In some cases, it could be the difference between life and death.

Because childhood abuse is not uncommon, you may know abuse survivors. And these survivors may say things like, “Well I got through that. It was normal, and I’m fine.” I want you to ask yourself, are they fine? Or could they have been spared a lifetime of emotional and physical consequences if, during their youth, one of their teachers or caregivers had intervened?

Psychologists like myself are trained to look for signs of abuse, and we are legally bound to report it to Child Protective Services. However, the tremendous power to recognize and prevent child abuse really

health clinician may not have a chance to notice. You see whether or not a child is really smiling with their eyes or just with their lips. You see if there are changes in how they’re walking and talking, or if tantrums seem more intense. If you report what you see, even if only to a friend or a therapist like me, you can make a difference in a child’s life.

lies with the millions of parents, caregivers, and teachers that daily interact with children. You live with them, you work with them, and you see the micro changes in behavior and body language that a mental

Sita-Marie Pillay, PsyD, obtained her doctorate in clinical psychology from the CSPP at Alliant International University. She works as a post-doctoral fellow with the Community Mental Health Hub and Legacy programs at the Hanna Center in Sonoma. Find out more about the Hanna Center at hannacenter.org

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Regularly checking in with children regarding their feelings of safety, invisibility, and hurt can be immensely helpful.

Beat Exam Jitters

6 Ways to Help Students Cope with Test Anxiety

By Pamela Roggeman

Test anxiety is a real problem, affecting 25–40 percent of US students. While test anxiety is common, it’s important to make sure it’s not debilitating. Here are six ways parents and educators can help ease test anxiety in students.

1. Emphasize preparation. Preparation can look different for individuals, but there are a few tips everyone can benefit from:

• Create an organized study plan. Develop a weekly or monthly testing schedule.

• Practice relaxation techniques. Help students learn how to use meditation, visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness, or yoga to calm themselves.

• Get enough rest. Encourage students to go to bed early and take breaks while studying.

• Eat healthy meals. A balanced diet helps reduce stress levels and

improve alertness and readiness for testing.

• Seek more resources. These include everything from testing strategies to test-taking skills.

2. Try to understand their fears. Test anxiety can be rooted in a number of underlying fears, such as:

• the fear of failure or not being good enough;

• past trauma related to school or test-taking;

• depression or other mental health issues;

• performance anxiety and social comparison.

Try to understand your student’s anxiety. Ask questions about past testing experiences, what triggers their stress, and how they feel when testing. For example:

• Tell me about a time when you didn’t do well on a test. How did you feel? What happened?

• What are your biggest concerns about testing?

Positive thinking can also help reduce stress levels.

3. Reframe their perspective. To help students maintain a better perspective on testing, explain that testing is only one part of the learning journey. Remind them to take a step back and focus on the bigger picture. The testing process has many moving parts, and it’s essential to help students see that testing is not the only way to measure their intelligence or abilities. Depending on their age, encourage them to explore other opportunities, such as:

• extracurricular activities;

• mentorship programs;

• internships. These experiences can give students a wider perspective on how intelligence and competency are assessed as well as provide them with alternative paths to success. Likewise, a broader perspective can help build self-confidence and resilience, which can, in turn, help reduce anxiety.

4. Share effective test-taking strategies. Examples of effective test-taking strategies include:

• Planning ahead. Students must learn how to allocate time, understand the test format, and preview testing material to anticipate which questions may be asked.

• Reading directions. It’s important to carefully read instructions to ensure comprehension before beginning any testing activity.

• Staying focused. Remaining organized and on task during testing can help a student avoid wasting time or needing to double-check answers.

• Eliminating distractions. To stay focused, students must turn off electronics, put away testing materials, and block out other test-takers.

5. Emphasize positive thinking. Encouraging positive thinking is one of the best ways to help students manage testing anxiety. Positive thinking can be a powerful tool for believing in one’s ability to succeed and perform well on testing days. Positive thinking can also help reduce stress levels, preventing testing anxiety from spiraling out of control. Positive thinking takes practice. Help your students develop concrete examples of positive self-talk they can use on testing days, such as, “I am capable and confident,” or, “I can do this!” Have students write these affirmations and commit them to memory.

6. Encourage them to get enough sleep. Getting a good

night’s sleep before a testing day is one of the best ways to reduce stress and maximize performance. Sleep helps restore energy levels, dispel mental fog, and improve memory.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that children ages 6–12 get 9–12 hours of sleep and youth ages 13–18 get 8–10 hours. Here are some ways to optimize sleep before testing:

• Go to bed and wake up at the same time every night.

• Avoid bright screens (TV or phone) for at least one hour before bed.

• Avoid caffeine or other stimulants late in the day. ❖

Pamela Roggeman is dean of the College of Education at the University of Phoenix

Invisible Disabilities

The Lives of Parents of Kids with ASD

By Pam Moore

While some disabilities demand recognition via a wheelchair, hearing aid, or portable oxygen tank, others—invisible disabilities—are more subtle. I talked to parents of kids with invisible disabilities to find out what they wish more people understood about their experiences.

Sensory processing issues are NOT discipline issues. A child with sensory processing disorder could have 20/20 vision and perfect hearing, but when he is in a crowded mall, his brain is not able to manage all of the auditory and visual information he’s receiving through his eyes and ears. While each kid reacts differently to overstimulation, some will scream or become physically aggressive. What may look like

defiance is just a kid doing his best to manage a stressful environment.

Jaime has a five-year-old son with high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). She says, “discipline will not prevent him from being overwhelmed by his environment.”

Says Lainie Gutterman, the mom of a seven-year-old boy with ASD, when he is having a meltdown, “Staring, pointing, and offering your two cents is not helping the situation and will

most likely cause my son or myself to feel worse and [his] behaviors to escalate.”

A little compassion goes a long way. Virtually every parent I talked to described the pain of receiving judgment instead of compassion. Sarah Cottrell, whose son has hemophilia, is tired of challenging people’s assumptions about his

diagnosis. She says, “He doesn’t have AIDS and hemophilia isn’t caused by incest. Enough with the wild theories because we need compassion and empathy for the unseen pain issues.”

Most parents I talked to, particularly those of kids with sensory processing disorders, described organizing their days around their kids’ strict routines. Every parent understands how easily the best-laid plans for meals, naps, and bedtimes can implode. What many parents don’t understand is how much higher the stakes are when your special-needs child depends on predictability for a sense of safety. Says Lisa Rosen, who says she must wake up 90 minutes before her kids in order to prepare for the non-stop mental and physical energy her son requires, “When adults look at my child, they see a happy kid... But I know that if one thing is off in our routine, I’m dealing with Hiroshima.” Her son Ezra, age three, has sensory processing disorder and is speech delayed.

What may look like defiance is just a kid doing his best to manage a stressful environment.

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. It is not helpful to insist nothing’s wrong because a kid looks so “normal” or has a high IQ. What may be intended as a compliment may come as a slap in the face to a struggling parent.

Samantha Taylor’s 13-year-old has high functioning autism, generalized anxiety disorder, and an eating disorder, while her ten-year-old has dysgraphia and anxiety. Although Taylor is open with her friends and family about her kids’ diagnoses, because they appear “normal,” she says people are often shocked when her kids says something inappropriate or react in a way that is out of proportion to the situation. Says Taylor, “While it might look to everyone in our lives that we are holding it all

together, I worry about my boys every single day.” In search of a supportive community, Taylor ended up creating a thriving Facebook group for moms of kids with special needs. They’re advocates. Parents of kids with invisible disabilities must advocate for their kids in a system that does not always have their best interests at heart.

One mom, who preferred to remain anonymous, described the challenge of having a 12-year-old son who has ADHD and a learning disability. She described his teachers’ low expectations, recalling an Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting where a teacher was clearly impressed with her son’s “C,” “and how great that was ‘for a kid on an

IEP.’” To compensate for his teachers’ low expectations, she says she always reminds her son “[he] is smart and his IQ reflects that. There is no reason he shouldn’t be able to get an ‘A’… if he is provided with the right services.” She also described teachers’ lack of understanding of her son’s ADHD, which she feels causes them to set unreasonably high expectations of him in other areas, such as his ability to get organized or follow a schedule.

Parenting is hard enough without adding other people’s assumptions to the equation. Parents of kids with invisible disabilities just want the world to know, it’s only okay to assume one thing: They and their kids are doing the best they can. ❖ Learn more about Pam Moore’s work at pam-moore.com

In Praise of Therapy

How the Talking Cure Helps Your Brain

By Agnes Wong

As a physician-educator who has worked in healthcare for more than 30 years, I have served numerous patients and worked with many healthcare professionals, caregivers, and physicians-in-training. As a chaplain, I have talked to many inmates, palliative care patients, and other chaplains. As I serve in these capacities, I have witnessed the many joys and sufferings of our human existence. I have also been humbled to see the strength, courage, and resilience that humans demonstrate despite the trials and tribulations of life. I have pondered deeply on what it takes to transform the obstacles to compassion into opportunities for our growth and development, as well as the additional ingredients that are essential for leading a compassionate, flourishing life.

Psychological Well-Being

As we become more aware, more attuned, and more reflective, we may discover many uncharted territories that pose difficulties. Counseling (or coaching, psychotherapy) can bring about additional clarity, openness, and deep healing. By talking to a trained professional, we can express thoughts and feelings that could not be shared with our loved ones or friends. Talking to a professional also allows our two [brain] hemispheres to process and integrate difficult experiences, thoughts, and emotions. Neuroscience has shown that the right side of

our brain processes emotions and autobiographical memories and often causes us stress through ruminating mental activities. By putting our experience into words and the details of a memory in order, the left side of the brain helps us to make sense of our feelings and recollections. In this way, we can respond to setbacks in a healthy way.1 Talking to a professional is also a co-creative process. It offers us new perspectives on our habitual thinking style, so that we can find a novel creative approach to handle life situations and relationships through a combination of reframing, decentring, and repatterning.

For some of us who may have been exposed to sufferings at a very young

Talking to a professional also allows our two [brain] hemispheres to process and integrate difficult experiences, thoughts, and emotions.

age, psychological wounds could leave a strong imprint in our physical, mental, emotional, and psychosocial being. In this situation, mindfulness practices, compassion training, and cultivation of inner compassion may not be sufficient to unblock our deep, unconscious psychological defenses against raw, painful wounds. In this regard, psychotherapy can help point out and unravel the defenses that we have erected so that they gradually lose their hold on us. It also guards us against “spiritual bypass”; that is, using spiritual ideas and practices to evade or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological trauma, and unfinished developmental tasks.2

Psychotherapy also helps us develop authentic self-expression as mature

adults. Therapy that incorporates the need for “secure attachment”— safety, compassion, nonjudgment, and mirroring—and that nurtures authenticity can help us rediscover our basic goodness. It helps us identify our

Notes

1. DJ Siegel and TP Bryson, The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind (Delacorte Press, 2011).

2. D. Flics, “What Meditation Can’t Cure” in: Melvin McLeod, Tynette Deveaux, ed. Buddhadharma: The Practitioner’s Quarterly (Shambhala Publications, 2017): 65–71. Reprinted, with permission, from the Art and Science of Compassion, A Primer: Reflections of a Physician-Chaplain by Dr. Agnes M. F. Wong (Oxford University Press, 2021).

• Exploration of own interests & abilities

unique talents and develop a genuine expression of our innate capacities as self-actualized mature adults so that we can transcend self-focused needs and increase compassionate actions.

• Experiential learning with field trips, arts

• Respectful and caring learning community

• Peace education and mindfulness

• Earth stewardship

Open House Wednesday, April 13 Call for more information

Tof L Charter ree ife

Free Montessori Elementary Education for Children Ages 4 1/2–12

• Exploration of own interests & abilities

• Experiential learning with field trips, arts

• Respectful & caring learning community

• Peace education & mindfulness

• Hands-on & multicultural learning experiences

• Earth stewardship

Free Montessori Elementary Education for Children Ages 4 1/2 Through 12

Free Montessori Elementary Education for Children Ages 5 through 13

Free Montessori Elementary Education for Children Ages 4 3/4 through 12

and more information: 707-462-0913

OPEN HOUSE ON APRIL 12 TAKING APPLICATIONS FOR 2023-24

GIVE YOUR CHILD A JOYFUL LEARNING EXPERIENCE FULL OF DISCOVERY WITH:

treeoflifeschool@pacific.net

www.treeoflifeschool.net

FREE meals cooked from scratch for all students, FREE before and aftercare, FREE summer program

For application and more information: 707-462-0913

businessmanager@treeoflifeschool.net

• www.treeoflifeschool.net

By talking to a trained professional, we can express thoughts and feelings that could not be shared with our loved ones or friends.

April Calendar of Events

Students Shake It

Kids have a lot of energy. And at Near and Arnold’s School of Performing Arts and Cultural Education (aka SPACE), they use it to dance. In the high-energy show Just Dance (Mostly), the school’s students will strut their stuff and also talk about what inspires them to dance. The show, produced in collaboration with Higher Ground Street Dance and Fusion Dance companies, will be staged on April 8 and 15 at 3 and 7 p.m. at SPACE Theater in Ukiah. Tickets are $10–$15 and may be purchased at spaceperformingarts.org. Call 707-462-9370 for more information.

Tuesday 4

FREE Shanél Valley Academy

First Annual Health & Wellness Fair. Community-wide family event featuring Blue Zones, WIC, Consolidated Tribal Health Project, Public Health of Mendocino & exhibitors. 4–6 p.m. Shanél Valley Academy. 1 Ralph Bettcher Dr., Hopland. tinyurl.com/4b75jj95

Wednesday 5

Gadgets Galore: Transforming the American Household. Exhibit reveals hidden histories of everyday objects. $2–$5. Families: $10. Ages 4 & younger: free. Free admission on Wednesdays for Mendocino County library cardholders & for everyone on first Fridays of the month. Wednesdays–Fridays: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Saturdays: noon–4 p.m. Sundays: noon–4 p.m. Runs thru Aug. 13.

Mendocino County Museum. 400 E. Commercial St., Willits. tinyurl. com/2jcreptn

The Curious World of Seaweed. Exhibit features the work & research of Josie Iselin, a photographer, author & designer of the book titled The Curious World of Seaweed. $4–$5. Families: $12. Free first Friday of the month. Always free for Native Americans & military (with ID).

Wednesdays–Saturdays: 10 a.m.–4:30

Hunt for Eggs!

April 8

Fort Bragg

Emerald Dolphin’s Mini Golf Easter Carnival & Egg Hunt. Free mini golf for kids (ages 0–17) with purchase of adult ticket. Carnival games for fee. Noon–4 p.m. Free Egg Hunt (ages 0–12): 4 p.m. sharp. Emerald Dolphin Inn & Mini Golf. tinyurl.com/y6rayahk

Fort Bragg Lions & Leos Easter Egg Hunt. Four groups: ages 0–2, 3–5, 6–7 & 8–10. 40 grand prizes. Free. 10 a.m. Bainbridge Park. fortbragglionsclub.org/Events.html.

Easter Egg Splash. Eggs hidden in the pool. Bring basket. Rubber duckie race after hunt. Ages 1–12. $5. 10 a.m.–noon. CV Starr Community Center. tinyurl.com/4th3vs95

Hidden Valley

Hidden Valley Easter Egg Hunt. Three age groups: babies–toddlers, grades 2–3 & 4–6. Bring baskets &

camera for photos with Easter Bunny. Free. Hunt: 11 a.m. sharp. Photos: 10 a.m.–noon. Hartmann Baseball Field. tinyurl.com/4ajrdyam

Kelseyville

First Annual Easter Egg Hunt. More than 700 eggs plus Easter Bunny photo booth & food trucks. Bring basket. $10–$20 ($50 for family of four). Tickets include glass of wine for adults & beverages for each child. Rain or shine. Noon–3 p.m. Hunt: 1–1:45 p.m. Boatique Winery. tinyurl. com/3jnfj53a.

Ukiah

Easter Egg Hunt. Egg hunt, bounce houses, face painting, raffles, bake sale, prizes & a chance to meet the Easter bunny. $5. 10 a.m.–1 p.m. Todd Grove Park. tinyurl.com/mrutjsa9

April 9

Clearlake

Breakfast with the Easter

Bunny. Eggs, pancakes, sausages & beverages. Bring basket for egg hunt & camera for a pic with the Easter Bunny. $8–$10. Benefits low-cost/ free youth programs. 9 a.m.–noon. Burns Valley Elementary. tinyurl.com/ cydb6ta4

Lakeport

Lakeport Rotary Egg Hunt. Search for 2,880 eggs. Golden & silver eggs bring cash prizes. Three age groups (ages 0–3; 4–8; 9–12). Easter bunny will be available for photos. Bring baskets & arrive early. Free. Gates: 1:15 p.m. Hunt: 1:30 p.m. Lake County Fairgrounds. tinyurl.com/ zaj543yh

Lower Lake

Thorn Hill Vineyards Easter Egg Hunt. All welcome, members & non-members. Free. 1–5 p.m. Hunt: 1 p.m. Thorn Hill Vineyards. tinyurl. com/367mpe47.

p.m. Sundays (except Apr. 9): noon–4:30 p.m. First Friday evenings: 5–8 p.m. Runs thru Apr. 30. Grace Hudson Museum. 431 S. Main St., Ukiah. gracehudsonmuseum.org.

Alice in Wonderland Fundraiser. A preview of Ukiah Player’s production of Alice in Wonderland, set in the Wild West. $30, includes appetizers & wine. Benefits Grace Hudson Museum. 6–9 p.m. Ukiah Players Theatre. 1041 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/ yx74ba5w.

Thursday 6

FREE Walking Group. Take a one-hour walk every week. Thursdays. 9–10 a.m. Lakeport Library (meet outside). 1425 N. High St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/bddmfve9.

FREE Redbud Library Storytime. Stories, songs, crafts & games for young children & their parents. Registration not required. Tuesdays. 10:15–10:45 p.m. Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. Visit tinyurl.com/yjup7phb for a schedule of similar classes at other Lake County libraries.

Photos with the Easter Bunny. Have picture taken with the Easter Bunny. No appointment needed. Packages start at $7. Apr. 6 & 7. 3–6 p.m. Triple S Camera. 260 S. School St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/3fcjuspt.

Alice in Wonderland. Play based on Lewis Carroll’s book but set in the Wild West. $23. Thursdays–Saturdays: 7 p.m. Sundays (except Apr. 9): 2 p.m. Runs thru Apr. 30. Ukiah Players

Theatre. 1041 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah. ukiahplayers.org

Friday 7

Fish Wrap. A humorous play about the struggles of a hometown paper in the digital age. Performed by the Lake County Theatre Company. $25. Fridays & Saturdays: 7 p.m. Sundays (except Apr. 9): 2 p.m. Runs thru Apr. 16. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. Tickets: tinyurl.com/ yf7ns4rr

FREE Dungeons & Dragons Club. Playing 5th edition D&D. Space is limited. Ages 13 & older. Fridays. 1–4 p.m. Middletown Library. 21256 Washington St., Middletown. Registration required: 707-987-3674.

FREE Lego Club. Kids design, build & invent with LEGO bricks. Fridays. 3:30–4:30 p.m. Upper Lake Library. 310 Second St., Upper Lake. Registration required: 707-275-2049. Visit tinyurl.com/de4fdnn3 for a schedule of similar classes at other Lake County libraries.

FREE Shade Canyon Playgroup. Waldorf-style stories, crafts, or nature walk. For ages 5 & younger. Held first & third Fridays of each month. Apr. 7 & 21: 10–11:30 a.m. Peace & Plenty Farm. 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. shadecanyon.org.

Skunk Train Easter Express. Two-hour round-trip excursion runs through redwood grove, where passengers hunt for eggs, eat treats & visit the Easter Bunny. $64.95. Infants ride free on lap. Dogs: $10.95. April 7: 10:30 a.m. April 8 & 9: 10:30 a.m. & 1:30 p.m. Willits Station. 299 E. .Commercial St., Willits. skunktrain. com/easter-express.

Saturday 8

FREE Self-Guided Hikes at Rodman Preserve. Saturdays. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. 6350 Westlake Rd., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/2p836xeb.

FREE Anderson Marsh Guided

Nature Walk. Walks are 1.5–3 hours, depending on route. Bring water, sturdy shoes & binoculars. Rain cancels walk. 8:30 a.m. Anderson Marsh State Historical Park. 8400 Hwy. 53, Lower Lake. andersonmarsh.org.

FREE Earth Month Guided Hikes. 2-hour hike covers about 4 miles.

Saturdays thru April 29. 9–11 a.m. Six Sigma Ranch & Winery. 13372 Spruce

Grove Rd., Lower Lake. Reservations required: tinyurl.com/y2p68dac

FREE Nintendo Switch Saturday. Make new friends & play games. No registration required. Apr. 8 & 22. 10 a.m.–noon. Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. tinyurl.com/2p8aymj4. Visit

tinyurl.com/yjup7phb for a schedule of similar sessions at other Lake County libraries.

FREE CMAS Lego Robotics. Presented by the Children’s Museum of Art & Science. Grades 3–8. Limited to 6 spots. Held second Saturday of the month. 11 a.m.–noon.

Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. Registration required: call 707-994-5115. tinyurl.com/ yc3skwk2

FREE Easter Eggstravaganza. Easter Bunny, bounce houses, Easter baskets (while supplies last) & kids’ activities. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Twin Pine Casino. 22223 CA-29, Middletown. tinyurl.com/36dzd47u

Just Dance (Mostly). SPACE performing arts students will dance & share stories about what inspires them to dance. $10–$15. Apr. 8 & 15. 3 & 7 p.m. Near & Arnold’s School of Performing Arts & Cultural Education (SPACE). 508 W. Perkins St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/pt5zkryx

Thursday 13

FREE Lake County Library

Virtual Cookbook Club. Adults prepare, share & critique recipes. Learn about new cookbooks at Lake County Library. Noon–1 p.m. Call 707-263-8817 or visit tinyurl.com/ ytjh2p5h to register for Zoom link:

Friday 14

Gowan’s Cider Orchard Blossom Days. Take a stroll & taste hard ciders in beautiful, blossoming century-old apple orchards. $20. Fridays–Mondays. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Gowan’s Apple Orchards. 6600 Hwy. 128, Philo (1/4 mile north of Gowan’s Apple Stand). Reservations suggested: gowansheirloomcider.com.

Saturday 15

FREE Pajama Storytime. Kids sing, rhyme & read in pajamas. Families encouraged to bring blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, or any self-soothing item. 5–5:30 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. tinyurl. com/2r6a873d.

FREE Children’s Advocacy Walk & Festival. Child abuse awareness event. Resources & prizes. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Library Park. 200 Park St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/25ndawcc

Celebration of Spring. Self-guided tours of resort & farm. Street tacos, edible flower appetizers, raffle prizes. Noon–3 p.m. Bell Haven Resort & Flower Farm. 6420 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/3zkmnavu

FREE Lake County Schools Job Fair. Local schools are hiring teachers, tutors, coaches & more. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Mendocino College. Lake Center. 2565 Parallel Dr., Lakeport. tinyurl. com/mr34vehm

Ukiah Cooperative Nursery School 32nd Annual Dinner & Auction. Catered dinner, DJ & dancing, plus live auction. $50. 5–9 p.m. Gather Events. 4800 Burke Hill Rd., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/22tehnv8

Sunday 16

Pancake Breakfast & Raffle. Fundraiser to benefit the opening of Shade Canyon School in September. $5–$12. 8–11 a.m. Tickets can be purchased online or at the door. Lions Club. 4335 Sylar Ln., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/4rc5zy64

FREE Kelseyville Artisan Market. 20+ local designers & makers, along with treats & lunch items for purchase. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Kelseyville Event Center. 5345 3rd St., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/2yfd3w6d

Friday 21

Spring Plant Sale. Discounts on all plant purchases & select store items. Monday–Thursday: 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Friday–Sunday: 9 a.m.–6 p.m. Runs thru Apr. 30. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. tinyurl.com/he7yfvsd

Saturday 22

FREE Vegetable Garden Storytime. Chldren of all ages welcome. Books & songs all about farms, gardening & veggies, followed by guided instruction

on how to make biodegradable newspaper pots & plant vegetable starts. Snacks provided. 10:30 a.m.–noon. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/yc5f9w6y.

FREE Sinister Saturday: Earth Day. Hands-on monthly science experience. 2–3 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. fortbragglibrary.org

FREE Earth Day Ukiah 2023. Vendor/information booths. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Grace Hudson Museum. 431 S. Main St., Ukiah. cityofukiah.com/ earthday.

FREE Earth Day Celebration. Live music, Middletown Community Garden tours, information & vendor booths. Family-friendly activities,

More Fun & Create Great

including face painting & horse & pony rides. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Calpine Geothermal Visitor Center. 15500 Central Park Rd., Middletown. middletownartcenter.org/events.html.

Lobster Boil Classic. $100, including food & bottle of wine. Reservations required. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Langtry Farms Winery. 21000 Butts Canyon Rd., Middletown. tinyurl. com/35z58t6m.

FREE 4th Annual Almost Fringe Festival. Art openings, craft fairs, live music, kids’ activities & more. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Downtown Point Arena. pointarena.net/almost-fringe-festival

Wind & Whale Celebration. Watch kites flown by the Berkeley Kite Wranglers. Whale experts answer questions. Waffles available for purchase. Free admission. Tower tours: $5. Must be at least 6 years old to go on tower tour. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Point Arena Lighthouse. Point Arena. 707-882-2809, ext. 1. pointarenalighthouse.com.

Wags & Wines. Fundraiser for the Humane Society for Inland Mendocino. Dogs for adoption. Food truck, prizes & wine tasting. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Barra Winery. 7051 N. State St., Redwood Valley. mendohumanesociety.com/events

FREE Noyo Food Forest Earth Day Festival. Live entertainment & music, fun educational kids’ activities, informational workshops & bicycle-powered smoothies. Plants, artisan crafts & food available for purchase. Noon–5 p.m. Fort Bragg High School. Learning Garden. 300 Dana St., Fort Bragg. tinyurl. com/4c2jdm4t

FREE Earth Day Ukiah 2023. Information booths, kids’ activities & more. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Grace Hudson Museum. 431 S. Main St., Ukiah. cityofukiah.com/earthday.

Saturday 29

FREE Children’s Advocacy Walk & Festival. Child abuse prevention event. Resources & prizes. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Austin Park. 14077 Lakeshore Dr., Clearlake. tinyurl.com/8svnp5w4.

Comedy Night Fundraiser. Dinner & comedy show, featuring comedian Marc Yaffee. Proceeds go to Clearlake youth programs. Ages 21 & older. $65. Dinner: 6 p.m. Show: 7 p.m. Konocti Education Center. 15850-A Dam Rd. Ext., Clearlake. tinyurl.com/2p8uk8ph

FREE May Faire. Flower crowns, May Pole dancing & games on the green. Raffles. Free admission. Raffle & game tickets: $1 each. 11 a.m.–2:30 p.m. Peace & Plenty Farm, 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. RSVP: tinyurl. com/3yuuws75.

FREE South Lake County Fire Protection District 9th Annual Open House. Fire engine rides, fire safety education, REACH helicopter demo & tour, kids’ activities, free raffles & more. Fire engine rides, face painting & bounce house: $1 each. BBQ burger or hotdogs: $2. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. South Lake County Fire Station 60. 21095 Hwy. 175, Middletown. tinyurl.com/2p8jwf5z.

Sunday 30

Northshore Ready Fest. Learn about evacuation checklists, zone codes, fire-wise communities, fuel mitigation, fire safety, home hardening & defensible space. Donations

accepted. 9 a.m.–2 p.m. BBQ: 11 a.m.–2 p.m. (while supplies last). 6264 E. Hwy. 20, corner of 11th Ave. & Hwy. 20, Lucerne. lakeconews.com/ newcal/6954.

FREE Spring Market Health & Wellness Event. Health & wellness talks, vendors, food & music.

Christian Play for People of all Faiths

Free Admission

Please join us in the Passion, Death, Resurrection and Ascension of our Lord, Jesus Christ, here in beautiful Lake County, California.

• Free of charge; donations are gratefully accepted.

• Bring your own chair.

• No smoking, food, drink, or pets on grounds.

• Water available.

Herbalists, naturopaths, body care & treatments. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Little Lake Grange. 291 School St., Willits. tinyurl. com/5dk6ydkh

ONLY

• Facilities for the handicapped. 707-263-0349 www.lakecountypassionplay.org

The Minivan Trash Oracle

Yes, Old Tootsie Rolls Can Predict the Future

By Shannon Carpenter

Greetings my fellow parental spiritual travelers. I can tell right now that your aura is full of laundry apprehension. What does your future bring? Behold the trash your kids have left in the back of your minivan. There, you will find your answers.

Once we open the door, I can see that the Cheez-It is waning, and the juice box is in retrograde. All is not lost. Let us continue our trash reading and decipher its meaning.

The half-melted Skittle clings to the floor with the iron grip of destiny. This means that your toddler has a lot of fight in him this day. There will be many difficulties transferring him from the car to his nap. But as the crusty toddler sock clings to the seatbelt, so does your own patience.

You may not succeed in the transfer, but you can watch your TikToks from the front seat for an hour and be happy.

That is just the beginning of your day. We must consult the Tootsie Roll birth chart. Old and smushed, the Tootsie Roll has come out from under the seat. Life has many surprises left for you.

Your purpose is clear as you gaze at your completely wrecked minivan. Note that your child’s greasy handprints on the windows are in an eclipse season. Ah, a lifetime of unexplained worry is in your future. Will they grow up independent? Can they face the trauma of you taking 30 seconds to go to the bathroom? It is unclear, but I foresee little fists of fury beating on locked bathroom doors.

Knock, knock, knock. Your fate must be answered. But it does not have to be so bleak. A carwash will appear on the road you travel.

Muddy footprints on the back of the driver’s seat let us know that the carwash will be old-fashioned and require hard currency. No fancy debit cards for you, for the well of your bank is dry. But the vacuum is also defective and always runs longer than it should. Rejoice! And when that vacuum nozzle gets stuck on the wet wipe of doom and chokes like it needs the Heimlich, it will survive.

Patience, fellow traveler into the mystics of parenting and anxiety pills. Buddha your way to your happy place, a place where everyone throws their trash in the spare grocery bags you keep in the rear passenger seat pocket. In your happy place, you never think about how much braces are going to cost.

Back to the reality of your future and your unclean minivan. It’s not only the refuse that allows us to read your future. The smell also has a tale to tell.

We are transported through a portal of time and space to ancient Babylon and the hanging gardens of dirty diapers. Their presence still lingers to this day in your minivan. The mildew of wet towels you forgot about long ago mixes with the essence of diaper, and the past becomes the present—becomes your future.

Embrace that future for it is all of ours, and in our solidarity, we can find a pressure washer that will get those old French fries out of the gears of your automatic door. ❖

Shannon Carpenter is the author of The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad Manual (Penguin, 2021).