Mendo Lake Family Life July 2022

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July 2022

School Violence

How to help kids cope

July 4!

Local events

Kinder Ready Prepare now

Fly Away

8 family travel tips

Have a Happy, Healthy Summer TIP: Schedule a well-child visit now so your kids are all set before school starts.

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July 2022

Every Issue 6

12

Dear Reader

7

Cooking with Kids Terrific Tomatoes

8

Bits and Pieces Salmon Feast Little Green Thumbs

Features 10 Stop Violence in Classrooms A call for a national response.

12 Scared of School How to talk to your child about the unspeakable.

14 Fly Away Together Take the stress out of air travel.

16 Just One More Game, Mom! How to tell when gaming turns into an addiction.

How to prepare little ones for kindergarten.

Piece of Paradise May the Best Worm Win

20 Raising an Entrepreneur Three things successful founders have in common.

22 Ditch the Reward System

22

Films Under the Stars

24

Calendar of Events

32 Humor Break From Elmo to Emo

Try a relationship-based approach to discipline.

25 Riot of Color Local places to celebrate the Fourth.

8 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Flower Power Returns

18 Big-Kid School

7 July 2022

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YOU HAVE THE POWER TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD

ALL IT TAKES IS ONE WELL-CHILD EXAM TO BE THEIR HERO. Doctors can find health issues early and take care of them before it’s serious.

Make an appointment before school starts. Don’t know where to go?

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Dear Reader

K

ids need their parents. That may be stating the obvious, but it’s a key thing to remember when looking at kids’ problems. When it comes to learning Sharon Gowan how to regulate their Publisher/Editor emotions and behavior, Sharon@family-life.us children learn from their parents; just spending quality time with Mom or Dad can help them feel secure enough to change a negative pattern. That’s what Pam Moore discovered when she successfully navigated her daughter’s defiance. Read her “Ditch the Reward System” (page 22) to learn more.

What about kids who refuse to go to school because they are afraid of violence? They, too, need to connect with the safe haven that their parents provide. Psychotherapist Joanne Frederick, PhD, says that, when it comes to conversations about school violence, children need to know that their parents will really listen to them. Read our interview with her, “Scared of School” (page 12), to learn more about how to handle this difficult topic.

Connection helps kids feel safe; it also empowers them. When Margot Machol Bisnow was interviewing successful entrepreneurs for a book project, she found that all her subjects felt very supported by their families. To find out what other qualities they have in common, turn to “Raising an Entrepreneur” (page 20).

One way to connect with kids is to have fun with them. And our Calendar of Events (page 24) is chocked full of ways to do just that.

From free movies and live music to storytimes and nature activities, there’s bound to be something to make your clan smile. Don’t forget to check out “Riot of Color” (page 25) for Fourth fireworks, too.

May your July be full of wonderful moments of familial love and togetherness. We’re always here to celebrate your joy and support your family as it grows. Connect with us anytime at mendolakefamilylife.com.

Marketing/ Sales/Events Patricia Ramos 707-205-1539 patty@family-life.us

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Contributing Writers America’s Test Kitchen Jessica Guerrieri Tanni Haas Steven D. Herrington Margot Machol Bisnow Pam Moore Heather Nardi

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

Publishing Office P.O. Box 351 Philo, CA 95466 (707) 205 1539

6 MendoLakeFamilyLife

July 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Cooking with Kids

Terrific Tomatoes Make an Easy Summer Salad

By America’s Test Kitchen

T

omatoes are the star of this summery salad, so make sure to use the freshest, ripest ones you can find. The simple dressing—featuring olive oil, shallot, and just a teaspoon of lemon juice— balances the tomatoes’ tart taste, while savory Pecorino Romano and fresh oregano round out the flavors in every bite. ¶ Reprinted, with permission, from The Complete Book for Teen Chefs (America’s Test Kitchen, 2022), ATKkids.com/teen.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Summer Tomato Salad with Pecorino Serves 4/15 minutes Before you begin: Use a vegetable peeler to gently shave thin strips from the flat side of the Pecorino Romano or Parmesan cheese—make sure to shave away from you.

Prepare Ingredients 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 small shallot, peeled and minced 1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest plus 1 teaspoon juice, zested and squeezed from 1/2 half lemon 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper 1 1/2 pounds ripe tomatoes, cored and sliced 1/4 inch thick 2 tablespoons shaved Pecorino Romano or Parmesan cheese (1/2 ounce) 2 teaspoons chopped fresh oregano

July 2022

Start Cooking!

1. In small bowl, whisk oil, shallot, lemon zest and juice, salt, pepper, and pepper flakes until well combined.

2. Arrange tomato slices on large platter. Use spoon to drizzle dressing over tomato slices. Sprinkle with Pecorino and oregano. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

How to Core Tomatoes 1. Place 1 tomato on its side on cutting board. While holding tomato steady, use paring knife to gently pierce top of tomato, near core, at 45-degree angle. Insert knife 1 inch deep into tomato and use gentle sawing motion to make circular cut around core.

2. Use your fingers or small spoon to remove core. Discard core and repeat with remaining tomatoes.

MendoLakeFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces

Salmon Feast

T

he Coho salmon has a troubled history in these parts. Once a prolific species, the fish have grown sparse, thanks to poor lumbering practices in the early 1900s and then, more recently, over-fishing, poaching, and other environmental changes. The Salmon Restoration Association has been working for decades to restore the Coho salmon population in Mendocino County.

And for the last five decades, the organization has held the World’s Largest Salmon Barbecue to raise funds for its work.

Now a nationally known event that has been written up in travel magazines, the barbecue is a huge success, featuring piles of pink-fleshed fish cooking on eight grills. This year’s feast is on July 2, 11 a.m.–6 p.m., at Noyo Harbor in Fort Bragg. Besides food, there’ll be live music, and wine and beer. Tickets are $15–$35 and may be purchased at salmonrestoration.com.

Kids are welcome, but leave pets at home. ¶

World’s Largest Salmon Barbecue

Little Green Thumbs

F

arming and gardening are not just for adults. Kids, too, can learn to connect with nature and themselves while tending to plants and raising livestock. Some of these mini-farmers will be selling their wares at the Kids’ Farmers’ Market on Wednesdays, 11 a.m.–1 p.m., at the Ukiah Branch Library in Ukiah. Children ages 5–17 are invited to bring their homegrown produce, eggs, honey, and handmade crafts to the market. They’ll get advice on how to display and sell their products, and learn money-handling skills, too. For more information, call 707-463-4490. ¶

Flower Power Returns

I

n 1965, San Francisco’s Haight Ashbury neighborhood was filled with the sounds of rock and roll, including the music of Big Brother & the Holding Company. It’s been 54 years since the band’s classic album Cheap Thrills hit number one on the charts, but the rockers are still around, making music. Hear them play at the free Kickin’ in the Country Street Dance on July 21, 7–10 p.m., on Main Street in Kelseyville. Find out more about the band at bbhc.com and about Kickin’ in the Country concerts at visitkelseyville.com. ¶

8 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Big Brother & the Holding Company

July 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Jason Arcilla

Piece of Paradise

I

ts bold colors and tropical flowers have been collecting dust in the closet for years. But now that Hawaiian shirt has a place to party—the Benefit Concert & Luau. Featuring live music from Maui band Jason Arcilla & the Rhythm Sons, the luau will serve a Hawaiian-style smoked pig. And, yes, Hawaiian attire is encouraged. The event, which will benefit the Gladiators K–8 wrestling program, will be held on July 9 at 5 p.m.at Cache Creek Vineyards and Winery in Clearlake Oaks. Tickets are $75, or $25–$35 for the concert only, and can be purchased at cachecreekvineyards.com/events. ¶

May the Best Worm Win

A

International Worm Races

half a century ago, a man named Charlie got the odd idea to hold a worm race in Clearlake. Surprisingly, the event took off and is still going strong. Spectators love to watch wiggly worms lurch their way from the center to the outside of a circle.

(Apparently, the little buggers respond to cheering and clapping, the louder the better.) This year’s International Worm Races and Festival will happen on July 2 in Clearlake. It’ll kick off at 11 a.m. with the Redbud Parade, which will travel from Redbud Park to Austin Park, where the festival and races will be held. Besides the worm races, there’ll be live country music, a carnival, and, at dusk, fireworks. The festival will run 11 a.m.–9 p.m., with music beginning at 7 p.m.; the carnival will run until midnight. Find out more at tinyurl.com/5a9748a5. ¶

Films Under the Stars

B

ack in the time of beehive hairdos and the Twist, drive-ins were a sensation. Thanks to the City of Ukiah, families can have a little taste of that by-gone era at Moonlight Movie Madness. At this summer film series, held at various outdoor venues, blankets and lawn chairs replace drive-ins’ automobiles, but the open-air film viewing experience is still alive and well. Here are the dates and locations: On July 1, The Sandlot (PG) will be viewed at Anton Stadium; on July 15, Spiderman: No Way Home (PG-13) will be shown at the Ukiah Valley Golf Course; and on July 29 Space Jam (PG) will be screened at Vinewood Park. All movies will start at dusk. For more information, go to tinyurl.com/2krnyeu2. ¶

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

The Sandlot

July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 9

an age-appropriate way and ensure their students are safe: Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers, from the National Association of School Psychologists: tinyurl.com/ynh66dxn Talking with Children About Tragic Events, from the Dougy Center: tinyurl.com/3pb2zdrf

Stop Violence in Classrooms Parent Resources & a Call to Action

By Steven D. Herrington, PhD

T

Supporting Your Child in Stressful Times, flyer from Sonoma County Office of Education (English/Spanish): tinyurl.com/ r3tnnpew

We simply must do more to protect our children and the adults who teach them.

Those who work in school or other settings with children may wish to consult the following links:

he recent tragedy in Uvalde, Texas, in which 19 fourth graders and two teachers were slain in their classroom by an 18-year-old gunman, shook school communities in Mendocino and Lake Counties and across the United States to their core. This senseless act of violence is the deadliest shooting at a grade school since the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut.

Responding to School Violence: Tips for Administrators, from the National Association of School Psychologists: tinyurl.com/2p8vu9va

We simply must do more to protect our children and the adults who teach them from senseless acts of violence, which have become more common in the United States than anywhere else in the world. May’s violence in Uvalde followed racist mass shootings in Buffalo, New York, and Laguna Beach.

Please know that our school districts and our partners in law enforcement are constantly evaluating the measures in place to keep students and staff safe.

But vigilance and commitment at the local level is no substitute for strong federal action and

10 MendoLakeFamilyLife

In the aftermath of such a tragedy, children will inevitably have fears and questions that they look to adults to address. Parents, teachers, and school administrators may find these resources helpful as they seek to discuss these incidents in July 2022

Help for the Helpers: Caring for Yourself When Assisting Others, from the Institute for Disaster Mental Health: tinyurl. com/5n7mexb5

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

changes in our nation’s laws that will ensure tragedies like those in Uvalde, Newtown, Parkland, and Columbine, among many others, stop happening.

My office strongly recommends the above resources and is committed to doing everything we can to protect students. But the gun violence afflicting our schools and other public spaces requires more than reassuring words and local action.

The mass shooting in Uvalde was one of 27 shootings to take place on a school campus this year, according to Education Week. It is one of 119 to have happened since the publication began tracking on-campus shootings in 2018.

We owe it to our students and teachers to provide a safe and secure environment for learning without turning our schools into fortresses.

When parents or guardians send their children to our campuses, they should know they will return safely home at the end of the day. Americans should

I urge you to contact your members of Congress and the California Legislature. be able to go to school, work, the grocery store, the movies, to worship, or to other public spaces in much the same way most of the rest of the world does: without having to fear for their safety.

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If you wish to advocate at the national or state level for efforts to end these tragedies, I urge you to contact your members of Congress and the California Legislature, as well as President Joe Biden and Governor Gavin Newsom.

How many more lives must be lost before we as a nation take action to address these senseless acts of gun violence?

My heart goes out to the families and school employees whose lives have been upended by these latest chapters in our long national story of gun violence. ¶ Steven D. Herrington, PhD, is the Sonoma County Superintendent of Schools.

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Scared How ofto Talk to Kids School about Violence

F

amily Life talks to psychotherapist Joanne Frederick, PhD, about how to broach the topic of school violence with kids.

Frederick has more than 25 years of experience in the field of counseling psychology and is the author of the book Copeology.

Family Life: How should parents talk to children about violence in schools? How do they help kids feel safe?

Joanne Frederick: So the first thing is to ask kids if they are aware of the violence that is going on in schools. Have them talk about it from their perspective. There is violence that is in the news, like mass shootings, but kids also see and experience bullying. They see and experience racism, unfairness.

They see and experience low self-esteem, low confidence. We 12 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Sometimes children want a day off because they are afraid. That’s okay. should just listen to kids, without interrupting them or making them feel better. We should just hear what their concerns are.

The second thing is safety. How do they stay safe? We do have to ask our kids: “If someone walks into school with a gun or knife or [other weapon], what do you do?” Number July 2022

one, [tell them] to try to follow the instructions of the adults in the room. If they have to run, and they are able to, they should do that; if they cannot run, hide. If they can’t run or hide, they have to play dead.

We have to have these conversations and allow them to talk about what they know. With other violence, such as fights, for example, what do we want our children to do? We want them to walk away and get help from an adult. And even before that we want our children to be able to express themselves in words before they get violent, or they witness someone being violent.

We should just listen to kids, without interrupting them.

FL: What if children are afraid to return to school?

JF: We have to walk them through their fears. [Talk about] a safety plan and an emergency plan.

Sometimes children want a day off because they are afraid or they need a break. In the times we are living in, I think that it’s okay. I call that a mental health day. And it’s okay if a parent or caregiver allows them to stay home. But have a plan. If they are staying home, what are they going to do? “No, you are not on video games all day, but you can rest; you can take a walk, go to the park. Put the phone aside and really rest your mind.”

FL: How do parents help kids who are upset by what they see in the news? www.mendolakefamilylife.com

JF: Be mindful of how much news you are blasting out around them. If you have to watch the news, monitor it. Watch it early in the morning or late at night, when the kids aren’t around. Because the more kids hear the same things over and over, the more scared they get. So get your daily dose [of news], and then move on. That’s number one. Number two: If kids are hearing things on the news or through social media, talk to them about it. “Hey, did you

Be mindful of how much news you are blasting out around them. hear about ___? What do you know about it? What are your thoughts on it?” You may be surprised to see that [what they have seen or heard] hurts these kids so much that they can’t even express themselves. Or they say, “This is horrible.” Then ask them, “How can I help you?”

Some of them might say, “I don’t want to talk about it. Stop asking me,” or “I don’t know how you can help me.” I think we need to watch children’s behaviors [in terms of] what thy say and what they don’t say as they are moving on from a violent event. Sometimes they may not react immediately but they will a week or two later. We need to have an open door for them to come and talk to us. And then if it gets to a point where the parent really doesn’t know what to do, I would suggest consulting with a mental health professional.

Learn more about Dr. Joanne Frederick’s work at jflcounseling.org.

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like hanging out in an airport; for example, a moving walkway can be a tremendous source of fun.

Fly Away Together 8 Keys to Low-Stress Family Air Travel

By Tanni Haas

F

lying to your vacation spot can be stressful if you’re not properly prepared. Thankfully, there are many things you can do to make air travel a low-stress experience. Based on my own experiences as well as conversations with other parents, I’ve pulled together a list of some favorite stress-management tips.

Align flight times with your kids’ sleep routines. If you need to fly during the day, reserve a departure time that corresponds with your kids’ naptime. If you need to fly at night, reserve a flight that takes off within the hour of their usual bedtime; the sheer excitement of flying is likely to keep them up a little longer than usual.

14 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Even young kids can pull their own carry-on bags with wheels.

Schedule long layovers if you can’t get a direct flight. That’ll leave you enough time to feed the kids a proper meal, take them to the bathroom, and enjoy the trip at a leisurely pace. Kids may really July 2022

Minimize wait times. Kids often get frustrated and act up when they have to wait in line for a long time.

There are several things you can do to deal with this: 1) sign up for TSA’s pre-check program, which will qualify you for much faster security checks; 2) check in online the day before your departure; and 3) print out boarding passes at self-service kiosks in the airport.

They’ll be so much more excited about the flight when they have a goody bag to look forward to.

Have older kids pull their own luggage. Even young kids can pull their own carry-on bags with wheels—and they’ll mostly likely have fun doing it. When kids are responsible for their own luggage, they are less likely to over-pack, and you don’t have to feel so responsible for all your family’s belongings.

Pack snacks, entertainment, and headphones. Most airlines offer free snacks, movies, and headphones. Still, it’s a good idea to pack your own supplies. Chances are that your kids either won’t like the airline’s snacks or entertainment, or they may find the airline headphones to be uncomfortable.

If you’re really unlucky, they’ll complain about all of the above!

Make each kid a flight goody bag. Create care packages like the www.mendolakefamilylife.com

kind you’d mail them at sleepaway camp. Put in each bag some of their favorite toys from home as well as things you can buy at most convenience stores, such as comic books, crayons, puzzles, etc. They’ll be so much more excited about the flight when they have a goody bag to look forward to.

Reserve a departure time that corresponds with your kids’ naptime.

Bring changes of clothes.

Trying to sit still in a crammed space, kids often spill food and drinks on themselves. So bring onto the plane at least one extra change of clothing for everyone (including yourself). Also bring pillows so the kids can lean against the seat, window, or your shoulder and hopefully sleep for part of the flight.

Pee, eat, and fill out paperwork before you leave the plane. Before you disembark, make the kids go to the bathroom one last time and give them something to eat. You may have to wait a long time in immigrations and customs, especially if you’re traveling abroad, and it’s no fun at all if the kids have to pee or are hungry. Fill out the required paperwork while you’re still on the plane: It’s a real hassle to do it later while you’re waiting in line. And remember to always travel with a pen—it comes in handy! ¶ Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

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MendoLakeFamilyLife 15

level with the reward of moving onto another—also stimulate dopamine release, which lays the neurobiological groundwork for addiction to develop.

What signs to look out for?

1. Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. Children that become addicted to games can often start to neglect other activities that usually make them happy, such as sports or other hobbies, and socializing with family and friends.

Just One More Game, Mom! 10 Signs of Video Game Addiction

By Heather Nardi

K

ids love video games. According to a 2018 Pew Research Center study, 90 percent of American teens play them. But along with the fun of playing comes the danger of getting addicted to them. Yes, video game addiction is very real. In 2019, the World Health Organization officially classified it as a mental health disorder. How do you know if your kid is out of control?

The team of addiction specialists at Delamere, a private British rehab clinic, offers the following advice.

What is video game addiction?

Gaming addiction refers to the uncontrollable use of video games; it is characterized by compulsive behavior and can develop after a long period of excessive gaming.

Why do gamers keep going back to play more and more games?

16 MendoLakeFamilyLife

The answer is neurobiological. When gamers play, their brains’ reward centers release dopamine, a chemical that makes them feel good. So to keep the dopamine hits coming, they keep playing—for endless hours. The small “wins” built into the games—winning highest score and completing one July 2022

2. Feeling irritable or upset when they can’t play games. Do your kids become angry or upset when their games are taken away from them? It could be a sign of addiction.

3. Playing games for hours on end.

Playing games extensively without a break is a more obvious sign of addiction. So is playing video games for long periods despite being told to reduce the amount of playing time.

4. Lying about how much time they spend playing games. If your children start to lie about or try to conceal how much time they spend gaming, or if they start going behind your back in order to play games, they could be developing a disorder.

5. Thinking or talking about their game constantly. There is nothing wrong with your children being engaged with or passionate about a video game. But it’s not okay when it becomes all they talk or think about.

6. Suffering academics. Extensive gaming can distract kids from their responsibilities at school, resulting in frequent homework mistakes or an overall decline in academic performance. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

7. Interrupted sleep habits. If your children are gaming when they should be sleeping, they will start to show signs of sleep deprivation, including a low mood.

8. Being preoccupied, depressed, or lonely. Though gaming can be a social activity, it lacks real-world interactions. Those who are addicted may become melancholy or depressed and withdraw when you try to engage in conversation with them.

9. Continuing to game despite negative consequences. Even though your children may be aware that their gaming habits are negatively impacting their lives—e.g. sleep deprivation, loss of friends, and arguments with their parents—they keep gaming.

10. Neglecting personal hygiene.

Those who are addicted to gaming may avoid showers or not change their clothes for days so that they can spend more time at the computer or on their devices.

effective methods is setting a timer for your child to play their chosen game.

Once the timer has gone off, they have to turn off the computer and move on to a different activity—allowing them to still enjoy their game in moderation,” she says.

Do your kids become angry or upset when their games are taken away from them?

“Setting a rule that your child only plays games with friends would remove the isolation aspect of gaming addiction,” she continues. “Suggesting a gaming party, rather than a long solo session, would allow your child to improve their teamwork and communication skills—offering a healthier environment for your little one to indulge in their hobby.” ¶

How can you prevent gaming addiction?

Dr. Catherine Carney, a psychiatrist a Delamere, says there are a variety of ways to treat and prevent childhood gaming addiction. “One of the most

For more information on video game addiction, go to delamere.com/blog/ gaming-addiction-report-2022.

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Assign chores. A way to make your kids more independent and autonomous is to assign them household chores. Charity Ferreira of GreatSchools, an education think tank, says that parents should give kids chores such as setting the table, folding the laundry, and tidying up.

“These types of activities,” she says, “will automatically transfer over into the classroom and help your child feel successful and comfortable.”

Big-Kid School How to Prepare Children for Kindergarten

By Tanni Haas

T

here are few moments more exciting to kids than the first day of kindergarten. It represents the day when they officially become “big kids.” How do you prepare them?

Here’s what the experts say.

Teach independence. Kids are expected to be able to do many things on their own by the time they start kindergarten. Tracy Galuski, a professor of early childhood development and education, says that kids should be able to: dress themselves, including putting on shoes and putting on and taking off their coats; use the bathroom and wash their hands afterwards; unpack their lunches; and wipe their faces after they’ve eaten. These skills, Galuski says, will take your kids “from the coatroom to the 18 MendoLakeFamilyLife

lunchroom and beyond.” Spend the summer before kindergarten practicing them with your kids.

Promote autonomy. Merete Kropp, an experienced kindergarten teacher and child development expert, says that kids should be able to make many choices. This includes choosing among different activities in the classroom and with whom to play.

“Children who’ve been given autonomy at home in developing preferences and making meaningful choices,” Kropp says, “are able to transfer this skill to the school setting.”

July 2022

Talking to kids about what the school day will be like will help them feel more self-confident.

Build self-confidence. It’s one thing to have certain skills; it’s quite another to have the confidence to show those skills in front of classmates. Amie Bettencourt, PhD, a child psychologist, says that parents talking to kids about what the school day will be like will help them feel more self-confident.

Organize playdates. Many schools distribute class contact lists for students before the school year starts. If you receive such a list, set up playdates with some of your kids’ future classmates. That way, when your kids walk into class, they’ll see some familiar faces. “A lot of what makes kindergarten a tough transition,” Ferreira says, “is that kids suddenly find themselves in a big group all day long. The more social skills kids have, the easier it’ll be for them to concentrate on learning.”

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Create routine. Ferreira says, “following a consistent routine—and pointing out parts of the routine to your child—helps your child know what to expect and when. This will help your child transition to the school routine.” She suggests that parents create a fixed schedule for waking and sleeping. Bettencourt adds that the nightly routine should include a predictable order of activities: “take a bath, put on pajamas, brush teeth, read a favorite story or sing a favorite song, and get a goodnight hug or kiss.”

Read books. Listening to their teacher read aloud is often how kindergarten kids learn. So making reading an important part of your kids’ lives will prepare them for

school. “Get your child a library card, take her to the library to check out books, and be sure to read to your child every day,” Galuski says. Melissa Taylor, an education expert and author of Imagination

Give kids chores such as setting the table, folding the laundry, and tidying up.

Soup, a well-known blog, agrees: “Reading to your child teaches her many things that we adults take for granted. Kids learn basics, such as how to hold a book, left-to-right reading, wondering what will happen next, and discovering new

words.” So read to your kids every day; choose a variety of material and ask them frequent questions, just like the teacher would.

Acknowledge feelings. While you prepare your kids for all the exciting new things they’ll learn in kindergarten, also acknowledge any unease they may experience.

Melanie Dale, the author of several books on parenting, says that parents should let their kids express their feelings: “If they say they’re nervous, rather than say, ‘Don’t be nervous,’ ask them why they’re nervous and validate that feeling.

Share a time when you were nervous and how it worked out.” ¶ Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor.

Ukiah Unified School District

Design Your Future

2022-23 Kindergarten &

Create Who You Want To Be

Transitional Kindergarten Registration Now Open!

TK

Transitional Kindergarten Is Expanding to include students who turn 5 on or between September 2, 2022 and February 2, 2023.

Register Online at www.uusd.net

If you need help with registration, or access to a computer, contact your school’s office.

WASC Accredited

Not Immunized? No Problem. La Vida Can Support You. La Vida Charter School www.mendolakefamilylife.com

707-459-6344

11785 Orchard Lane, Willits

lavidaschool.org

Calpella Elementary 151 Moore Street 472-5630

Frank Zeek Elementary 1060 Bush Street 472-5100

Grace Hudson Elementary 251 Jefferson Lane 472-5460

Nokomis Elementary 495 Washington Ave. 472-5550

Oak Manor Elementary 400 Oak Manor Drive 472-5180

Yokayo Elementary 790 S. Dora Street 472-5690

Deadline for Grace Hudson TK and Kindergarten registration: February 17, 2022 Deadline for registration at your elementary school of choice: March 25, 2022

Children age 5 by September 1, 2022, will enroll in Kindergarten.

Children turning 5 between September 2, 2022, and February 2, 2023, can enroll in our Transitional Kindergarten Program.

July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 19

They went into very diverse fields.

They started big companies with a wide range of products and services; they started innovative non-profits and profits-for-purpose that are changing the world; they became artists like movie directors and songwriters; and they became activists, fighting for causes they believe in. They fit my definition of an entrepreneur: They are all people who started something.

Raising an Entrepreneur 3 Ways to Help Kids Believe in Themselves

By Margot Machol Bisnow

E

ntrepreneurs are often asked, “What’s your secret to success?” Answers range from risk-taking and a self-starter mindset to curiosity and imagination. But where did these traits come from, and what conditions enabled the entrepreneurs to develop them?

This is the question I set out to answer in writing my book Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams—99 Stories From Families Who Did. I interviewed a very diverse group of 70 successful entrepreneurs, including Jon Chu, director of Crazy Rich Asians; Paige Mycoskie, founder and owner of clothing company Aviator Nation; Thomas Vu, lead producer on the game League of Legends; Dhani Jones, former NFL linebacker who went on to host a TV show, co-found a creative 20 MendoLakeFamilyLife

agency, and chair an investment fund; and superstar chef and sustainability advocate Nyesha Arrington.

The group was made up of half men, half women; every race, religion, and socioeconomic background was represented. They came from big families and small families; big cities and small towns; and they had parents who hadn’t gone to college to parents with advanced degrees. Some were born in the United States while others were born overseas or had immigrant parents.

July 2022

While I made dozens of eye-opening and heart-warming discoveries about their lives and backgrounds, I also learned—to my surprise—that they all shared three underlying experiences shaped by their families from the time they were children.

They pursued and mastered a passion when young. As children, they found a passion and were encouraged by their parents to pursue it—regardless of what it was. The key word in that sentence is “they”—it wasn’t something their parents loved, or their parents thought their kids would love. It’s something the kids chose themselves. And because they loved it, they worked really hard at it. And because they worked really hard, they got really good. They were praised for their effort, not their results. So they worked really hard and they learned the trade-off between hard work and results. They developed grit, defined

by Angela Duckworth as “passion plus perseverance toward long-term goals.” And that led to them becoming supremely confident.

People often say, “Of course entrepreneurs are confident; it’s because they are successful.” But I strongly believe it is the reverse: They are successful because they are confident. And their confidence stems from having mastered their chosen www.mendolakefamilylife.com

passions when they were young. Their passions included computers, music, acting, student government, chess, and, for many, sports. Their intense pursuit of success in these activities taught them grit, determination, and resilience, which developed their confidence.

They became risk takers because they were not punished for failure or mistakes. As Billie Jean King says, “We don’t call it failure; we call it feedback.” The entrepreneurs I interviewed were never punished for failing; their parents said, “What did you learn? What would you do differently?” Nor were they punished for making mistakes. They had to fix what they had broken or the problem they created, but they weren’t made to feel bad that it had happened.

They learned that when they worked hard at something and failed, and kept trying new approaches, eventually they would succeed. They learned that when they failed, they could work harder and smarter and keep trying because eventually they would figure it out.

They were praised for their effort, not their results.

Fast forward to today: because they aren’t afraid to fail, they aren’t afraid to take risks—both of which are key to successful entrepreneurship.

They were trusted and supported by their families—leading them to treat their employees like family.

The unconditional support from their families while they were growing up is reflected in their businesses today.

They honor the differences among their employees. And whether the jobs are remote or in the office, they try to create situations where their employees want to spend time. The founders don’t arbitrarily order around their employees. Just as in the homes where they grew up, the entrepreneurs take care of the people they work with.

Even before stakeholder capitalism became popular, these entrepreneurs valued the interests of their employees and their community.

Margot Machol Bisnow is a writer, wife, and mom who speaks on raising fearless, creative, entrepreneurial kids who are filled with joy and purpose. She is the author of Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams—99 Stories From Families Who Did (BookBaby, 2022).

Expires: 08/01/22 • Code: Family Life Magazine

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 21

Still, I had questions. Why had the sticker charts not worked? And why, even as I grew less vigilant about rewarding “marble-worthy” behavior did the power struggles continue to decrease both in frequency and intensity? There had to be more to the equation than simply positive reinforcement. I talked to Sarah MacLaughlin, parent educator and author of What Not to Say: Tools for Talking with Young Children (Bay Island Books, 2010), to fill in the gap.

She cautions parents to use positive

Ditch the Reward System Try This Science-Backed Discipline Approach

By Pam Moore

“M

om, can I have the vacuum?” asked my five-year-old daughter.

“Why, sweetheart?”

Normally you cannot see my daughter’s floor through the forest of books, dolls, and clothes. She grinned while imploring me, “Come see.” She marched down the hall and into her room, leading me by the hand. When we got to her doorway I laughed in surprise. The floor was completely clear.

Earlier that day, I’d begged the preschool teacher to help me find a way to quell the power struggles that had been erupting between my 22 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Assume that they aren’t cooperating because they need help. daughter and me. No sticker chart or time out could tame her steadfast refusal to do what I asked.

Her teacher suggested a marble jar.

Here’s how it works: I put a marble in a jar every time I “catch” my daughter being good. When the jar is full, she earns a treat. The teacher said to follow a rule of never removing marbles as a consequence for bad behavior. My daughter’s response to the marble jar was a classic example of positive reinforcement at work.

July 2022

MacLaughlin urges parents to remember that kids are doing the best they can. reinforcement only “as training wheels,” and even then, only if they’ve already tried approaches emphasizing the parent-child relationship.

If your child is having a fit, MacLaughlin says it is futile to attempt to give consequences or feedback. That does not mean you should ignore bad behavior, however.

If, for example, your child becomes physically aggressive, MacLaughlin recommends you first help her calm down. Only when kids are calm do they have the capacity to listen and learn. At that point, she says: “You can validate a child who is heated by saying, ‘You tried to kick me because I said NO to dessert. I www.mendolakefamilylife.com

understand you’re upset, and I won’t let you hurt me.’ Then listen more, say less, and offer no ‘consequences’ or feedback until they are calm. Once you gauge you’re past the point of those big emotions, you can offer feedback and education. For example, ‘I know you know that hitting is not okay. As you grow and mature you’ll learn how to stay in charge of yourself and not hit when you’re upset.” I call this combo a Truth Bomb Pep Talk—information, a reminder, and encouragement all rolled into one.

them on an emotional level, in which case she recommends the approach she describes above, known as “Staylistening.” Or it could be that using humor—making your request in a funny voice or with an accent—will get them on board. If that doesn’t

If your child is simply refusing to do what you’re requesting, MacLaughlin urges parents to remember that kids are doing the best they can and to assume that they aren’t cooperating because they need help. She says there could be something bothering

work, before you lose your cool, MacLaughlin suggests setting a limit by calmly, kindly physically guiding the child to the chore or task. She says parents are often surprised at how well this works.

If your child is having a fit, it is futile to attempt to give consequences or feedback.

Whenever my daughter’s marble jar was full, she chose a treat. We would either hit the bagel shop or the used bookstore, but no matter what, her little sister was staying home. I’ve learned that her love languages are carbs, books, and quality time. More importantly, I learned that positive reinforcement was just the “training wheels” she needed to start rolling in the right direction. I’m convinced that it was the “reward” of spending rare quality time together that helped the most. ¶ This article was originally published on Motherly.

Pam Moore is an award-winning freelance writer, weight-neutral health coach, and host of the Real Fit podcast.

Get her free guide to improving your body image at pam-moore.com.

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July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 23

July

Calendar of Events

Friday 1

Saturday 2

FREE Summer Concerts in Library

Willits Frontier Days. Western

Park. Bring a chair, blanket & picnic.

dance, horseshoe contest, CCPRA Professional Rodeo. BBQ: $12–$20.

Rodeo: $10–$25. Ages 2 & younger: free. Thru July 4. Main venue: Willits Rodeo Grounds. E. Commercial St., Willits. (Parade 11 a.m. on July 4 on Main St., Willits.) Schedule: willitsfrontierdays.com.

July 1: Beatz Werkin (classic rock).

July 8: Rising Stars (reggae). July 15: McKayla Marie (country). July 22: Funky Dozen (disco). July 29: Los Cautivos (Latin). Fridays. 6:30–8 p.m. Library Park. 222 Park St., Lakeport. lakeportmainstreet.com/ events/2022-07.

FREE Moonlight Movie Madness.

Free outdoor film screenings. July 1: The Sandlot (PG) at Anton Stadium, 558 Park Blvd., Ukiah. July 15: Spiderman: No Way Home (PG-13) at Ukiah Valley Golf Course, 599 Park Blvd., Ukiah. July 29: Space Jam (PG) at Vinewood Park, 1260 Elm St., Ukiah. Bring blankets & low-back chairs. Pre-movie activities. Movies at dusk. tinyurl.com/2krnyeu2.

FREE Self-Guided Hikes. 1-mile

family-friendly walk. Dogs are not permitted. Saturdays. 10 a.m.–2 p.m.

Rodman Preserve. 6350 Westlake Rd., Upper Lake. lakecountylandtrust.org.

FREE Kickin’ in the Country Street Dance. July 2: Fargo Brothers (rock).

July 21: Big Brother & the Holding Company (rock). Bring chairs & dancing shoes. 7–10 p.m. Main St., Kelseyville. visitkelseyville.com.

FREE Redbud Parade & International Worm Races & Festival. Parade starts at 11 a.m.

at Redbud Park & ends at Austin Park. Followed by live country music, food, vendors, carnival & worm races. Fireworks: dusk. Music: 7 p.m. Vendors & barbecue until 5 p.m. Carnival runs until midnight.

11 a.m.–9 p.m. Austin Park. 14077 Lakeshore Dr., Clearlake. tinyurl. com/5a9748a5.

Clear Lake State Park’s Junior Ranger Program. Ages 7–12. July 2: Lake ecology. July 16: Hiking in the wilderness. July 23: Geology. July 30: Plant life. 9–11 a.m. Clear Lake State Park. Education Pavilion. 5300 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. 707-279-1936. tinyurl.com/y89x52uj.

Annual World’s Largest Salmon BBQ. Food, live music & local wines & beers. $15–$35. 11 a.m.–6

Healthy Kids Need Healthy Teeth.

Visit Your Dental Provider!

2 steps to a healthy smile!

Funded by the CDPH under Contract # 17-10704

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July 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Family Fun

Riot of Color

Fireworks & July 4th Events Lake County July 2 Clearlake: Redbud Parade and International Worm Races and Festival. 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Parade starts at 11 a.m. at Redbud Park and ends at Austin Park. Festival will feature live country music, carnival, and worm races. Music: 7 p.m. Vendors and barbecue until 5 p.m. Fireworks at dusk.

Carnival until midnight. Austin Park. Free. tinyurl. com/5a9748a5.

July 3 Lakeport: Fireworks Extravaganza. 6–10:30 p.m. DJ Kutter spins tunes. Bring blankets and chairs for marina lawn seating. Konocti Vista Casino and Resort. Free. facebook.com/konoctivistacasino.

Clearlake Oaks: Maxine Sherman Memorial Annual Fireworks Display. Dusk. Fireworks are launched from Clearlake Oaks Beach Park. The best views are from boats anchored east of Rattlesnake Island. The next best viewing area is from Clarks Island. Free. Donations accepted. clearlakeoaks.org/fireworks.

July 4 Lakeport: July Fourth Street Fair. 10 a.m.–10 p.m. Craft and food vendors and beer booth. Fireworks at dusk.

Free. Library Park. lakeportmainstreet.com/event/ july-4-street-fair. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Mendocino County July 2 Fort Bragg: Fireworks. 8:30–9:30 p.m.

Todds Point. tinyurl.com/muhjayzd.

Point Arena: Fourth of July Celebration.

4 –11 p.m. Street fair with live music, crafts, activities, and food and drinks. Fireworks: dusk. Bring flashlights and jackets. No pets. $5–$10. $20 for family of 4. Kids 11 and younger free. Parking at City Hall and Point Arena High School for $10 (includes one adult entry ticket). Shuttle buses available. Point Arena Cove. tinyurl.com/2nuvrdzu.

July 3 Point Arena: Independence Day Parade. Noon. Parade travels along Main St./Hwy. 1. Past years’ entries have included fire trucks, classic cars, floats, drum corps, dancers, horses, and art cars. Free. pointarena.net.

July 4 Mendocino: Fourth of July Parade. Noon. Main Street. facebook.com/events/531888518335920.

Mendocino: July Fourth Picnic and Lawn Party. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Live music by Mixed Nuts. Free. Bring lawn chairs and blankets for parade viewing. Food from food trucks, and margaritas, sangria, beer, and nonalcoholic beverages available for purchase. Kelley House Museum. kelleyhousemuseum.org/july4th.

July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 25

p.m. South Noyo Harbor. 19101 S. Harbor Dr., Fort Bragg. Tickets: salmonrestoration.com.

Fireworks & Racing at Lakeport Speedway. Autoracing featuring Bombers, Limited Modifieds, Jammers, Legends & more. $11–$14.

Kids 5 & younger: free. Family pass: $30. July 2: Lake County Fairgrounds. 401 Martin St., Lakeport. July 3: Ukiah Raceway Redwood Empire Fair. 1055 N. State St., Ukiah. Racing: 5 p.m.

Fireworks: dusk. ukiahspeedway.net.

FREE Fireworks. 8:30–9:30 p.m.

Todds Point. Fort Bragg. tinyurl.com/ muhjayzd.

Fourth of July Celebration. 4–11

p.m. Street fair with live music, crafts, activities & food and drinks.

26 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Fireworks: dusk. Bring flashlights & jackets. No pets. $5–$10. $20 for family of 4. Kids 11 & younger free.

Parking at City Hall & Point Arena High School for $10 (includes one adult entry ticket). Shuttle buses available. Point Arena Cove. Point Arena. tinyurl.com/2nuvrdzu.

Sunday 3 FREE Sundays in the Park Concert Series. July 10: Funky Dozen & Double Standyrd. July 17: La Misa Negra (Afro-Latin cumbia). July 31: Western Standard Time Ska Orchestra (Jamaican jazz ska). Blanket or low-back chairs only. Food & drinks for purchase or bring picnic. Sundays.

6 p.m. Todd Grove Park. 600 Live Oak Ave., Ukiah. cityofukiah.com/ sundays-in-the-park.

July 2022

FREE Maxine Sherman Memorial Annual Fireworks Display. Dusk.

Fireworks are launched from Clearlake Oaks Beach Park. The best views are from boats anchored east of Rattlesnake Island. The next best viewing area is from Clarks Island.

Donations accepted. Clearlake Oaks. clearlakeoaks.org/fireworks.

FREE Independence Day Parade.

Noon. Parade travels along Main St./Hwy. 1. Past years’ entries have included fire trucks, classic cars, floats, drum corps, dancers, horses, and art cars. Point Arena. pointarena.net.

FREE Fireworks Extravaganza.

With DJ Kutter on marina lawn.

Bring seating. 6–10:30 p.m. Konocti Vista Casino & Resort. 2755 Mission

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Rancheria Rd., Lakeport. facebook. com/konoctivistacasino.

FREE Fiddlers’ Jam. Listen to fiddle tunes played by members of the Northern California Old Time Fiddlers Association. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Barn. 9921 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/2p9u4n3b.

Monday 4 Flynn Creek Circus. Balloons, Birds

& Flying Things. A rurally based, award-winning circus bringing international talent to the North Bay. Tickets are sold by table or bench, regardless of age of attendees. $81–$416. July 1: 7 p.m. July 2: 4 p.m. July 2 & 3: 8 p.m. (adults 21+ only). July 3: 1 & 4 p.m. July 4: 2 p.m. Friendship Park. 998 School St., Mendocino. flynncreekcircus.com.

FREE 4th of July Parade. Noon.

Main St., Mendocino. facebook.com/ events/531888518335920.

FREE 4th of July Street Fairs &

a.m.–3 p.m. Kelley House Museum.

45007 Albion St., Mendocino. kelleyhousemuseum.org/july4th.

Tuesday 5

Fireworks. Craft & food vendors

& beer booth. Fireworks: dusk. 10 a.m.–10 p.m. Library Park. 200 Park St., Lakeport. lakeportmainstreet.com/ event/july-4-street-fair.

Monday Blues at Tallman Hotel.

Featuring Stevie & the Shufflenuts.

6–8 p.m. Blue Wing Restaurant. 9520 Main St., Upper Lake. tinyurl.com/ zyh8vjeu.

FREE July 4th Lawn Party. Live music from Mixed Nuts. Food trucks. Margaritas, sangria, beer & nonalcoholic beverages for purchase.

No hamburgers or hot dogs this year.

Bring chairs & blanket for parade. 11

FREE Virtual Circle Times with First 5 Lake County. Songs, story

time, activities & socialization opportunities for little ones. English version: Tuesdays 10 a.m. & Thursdays 4 p.m. Spanish version: Tuesdays 4 p.m. & Thursdays 10 a.m. Sign up via email: earlyinterventionreferrals@ esnorcal.org. Info: esnorcal.org/ early-intervention.

Wednesday 6 FREE The Traveling Toy Library.

Check out toys & materials for children ages 0–5. Sponsored by Easterseals Northern CA. Mondays:

KIDS

TRIATHLON SATURDAY, JULY 23RD TODD GROVE PARK

Race Information Level 1 (ages 6 & under) 10 min / activity Flotation & parent assistance is allowed for Level 1 only

Level 2 (ages 4-11) 10 min / activity Level 2A A - L Level 2B M - Z

Level 3 Competitive (ages 8-17) 20 swim laps 15 bike laps 10 run lap

Time: Check-in opens at 9 am Who: Kids ages 17 & under Cost: $10 pre-registration $15 walk-up registration

REGISTER ONLINE AT UKIAH.RECDESK.COM OR 411 W. CLAY ST.

Registration includes race packet, lunch, t-shirt and a goodie bag. Walk-up registrations are not guaranteed a t-shirt.

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CALL 463-6231

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 27

1:30–3:30 p.m. 1173 11th St. (next to post office), Lakeport. Wednesdays: 1:30–3:30 p.m. 14085-2 Lakeshore Dr. (next to WIC), Clearlake. Visit Facebook to confirm schedule: facebook.com/First5ELC. FREE Kids’ Farmers’ Market. Local kids selling their homegrown produce.

Wednesdays. 11 a.m.–1 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/bd6z7rfr.

FREE Blue Zones Walk in the Park.

Take a 30-minute walk with members of the community. Wednesdays.

5:30–6:30 p.m. Clearlake Club. 210 N. Main St., Lakeport. Register: tinyurl. com/2p8ef93z.

Friday 8 FREE Lake County Poetry Tour. Join

Lake County Poet Laureate Georgina Marie’s workshops & readings.

All levels of writers are welcome.

Participants attending poetry readings are invited to bring original work to share. No advance registration required. July 8: 4–6 p.m. at Tallman Hotel, 9550 Main St., Upper Lake.

July 9: 11 a.m.–1 p.m. at Middletown Library, 21256 Washington St., Middletown. July 10: 2–4 p.m. at Clear Lake Campground, 7805 Cache Creek Way, Clearlake. tinyurl.com/ bdhvumf9.

Lake County Rodeo. $10–$15.

Thru July 9. Lake County Fairgrounds.

401 Martin St., Lakeport. lakecountyrodeo.com.

Skunk Train: Music in the Redwoods. Begins with a train ride from Fort Bragg depot at 6:30 p.m.

Arrive at The Glen (new outdoor theater) for a musical performance.

Ticket includes round-trip train trip, music, a drink token to be redeemed at the bar & a bucket of bottomless popcorn. $32–$75. July 8: Cross Currents. July 15: Foxglove. July 29: Francis Vanek & Company. 6:30–9:30 p.m. Skunk Train Depot. 100 W. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. skunktrain. com/music-in-the-redwoods.

Saturday 9 FREE Summer Music Series. July 9: Chad Bushnell & Nick Tyrell (country). July 16: Prezident Brown, Iriefuse, Coast Tribe, SS Productions (reggae). Bring a chair, blanket &

Mendocino College Theatre Arts and Lake County Theatre Company Present

William Shakespeare’s

July 30-31 Library Park Lakeport August 3-7 Austin park clearlake ALL SHOWS 7pm FREE ADMISSION

More info: LCTC.US or 707.278.9628 PRESENTED in cooperation with Lake COUNTY Friends of Mendocino College, City of Lakeport, Clear Lake Chamber of Commerce and City of Clear Lake.

28 MendoLakeFamilyLife

July 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

picnic. Food & drinks available for purchase. 6 p.m. Konocti Vista Casino.

2755 Mission Rancheria Rd., Lakeport. facebook.com/KonoctiVistaCasino.

smoked pig. $75. Concert only: $25–$35. Hawaiian attire encouraged.

Proceeds benefit the Gladiators, K–8 wrestling program. 5–9:30 p.m. Music starts at 6 p.m. Cache Creek Vineyards & Winery. 250 New Long Valley Rd., Clearlake Oaks. cachecreekvineyards.com/events.

FREE Camping-Land Game– Summer Reading Event. Play a

life-sized board game & win treats.

Children younger than 8 must be accompanied by an adult or an older child. 2–4 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. fortbragglibrary.org.

Mendocino Music Festival. 23 concerts, from classical to jazz to South American folkloric. July 9–23.

Various venues. $15–$75. Full schedule & ticket prices: tinyurl.com/3hvakvxx.

FREE Noyo Harbor Fish Market. The fleet will be selling their catches off their boats. Vendors also will sell veggies, hot food, art, music, coffee & more. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Noyo Harbor.

19101 S. Harbor Dr., Fort Bragg. noyoharbordistrict.org.

Benefit Concert & Luau. Live music

by Jason Arcilla & the Rhythm Sons from Maui, Hawaii. Hawaiian-style

FREE Pack Rat Yard Sale. Quality

items at fair prices. Garden supplies, household goods, antiques & collectibles. Price reductions throughout the day. Proceeds support

Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens.

8 a.m.–4 p.m. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. Parking lot. 18220 N. Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. Questions: 707-964-4352, ext. 17.

FREE Caspar Community Center Birthday Party. Live music, dancing, food, remembrances, community art projects, booths & more. Noon–dusk.

Parade: 1 p.m. Caspar Community Center. 15051 Caspar Rd., Caspar. tinyurl.com/2zw7tyma.

Albion-Little River Fire Dept.

Annual Fundraiser BBQ. Barbecued chicken, tri-tip, vegan entree, chili beans, corn-on-the-cob. Wine auction & live music. $12–$25. Ages 7 & younger: free when accompanied by paying adult. Noon–5 p.m. Little River

REDWOOD COAST REGIONAL CENTER

WE ARE HIRING! JOIN OUR TEAM

Associate Service Coordinator: Lakeport or Fort Bragg Deaf/Hard of Hearing Specialist: Ukiah Early Start Coordinator: Clearlake Enhanced Service Coordinator: Ukiah Intake Specialist: Ukiah Nurse Consultant: Ukiah Service Coordinator: Lakeport, Fort Bragg and Ukiah

Employees required to be fully vaccinated Excellent benefits package Serving Lake, Mendocino, Del Norte, and Humboldt Counties Respecting Choice in the Redwood Community

www.redwoodcoastrc.org

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

thrilling & sophisticated children’s camps at select locations

‘...the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.’- Einstein Touring June to October under the BigTop July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 29

Airport. 43001 Little River Airport Rd., Little River.

Friday 15 FREE Cultural Day/Family Fun Day.

Learn about Pomo culture & get a tour of the basket room. 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m.

Courthouse Museum. 255 N. Main St., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/5n7c7wmv.

between acids & base while they make their own paint. Wear grubbies; it will get messy. 2 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. fortbragglibrary.org.

28–30: 7 p.m. July 31: 2 p.m. Ukiah Players Theatre. 1041 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah. ukiahplayerstheatre.org.

Skunk Train: Cinema in the

Thursday 21 FREE Thrilling Thursdays—Cultural Day. Drop-in Pomo culture day aimed

Steven Bates Band. July 23: Caspar Kings. July 30: Moon Rabbit. Bring lawn chairs. 1–4 p.m. Caspar Beach RV Park. Garden Stage. 14441 Pt. Cabrillo Dr., Mendocino. tinyurl. com/4u457nkd.

at all ages. Create Pomo dice & learn how to play the game. Members of the Tribal Advisory Committee will be on hand to tell stories & talk about Pomo culture. 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. A special tour of the Pomo cases will be offered at noon. Lower Lake Schoolhouse Museum. 16435 Main St., Lower Lake. tinyurl.com/y8tbck2n.

FREE Sinister Science: Fizzy

Barefoot in the Park. Neil Simon’s

Saturday 16 Caspar Beach Concerts. July 16:

Sidewalk Paint. Ages 5–12. Kids

learn about chemical reactions

classic romantic comedy performed by the Ukiah Players. July 21–23 &

Redwoods. Begins with a train ride from Fort Bragg depot at 6:30 p.m.

Arrive at Glen Blair junction for the screening of Harry Potter film. Ticket includes round-trip train ride, film, a drink token (for use at the bar) & a bucket of bottomless popcorn. $32–$75. 6:30–9:50 p.m. Skunk Train Fort Bragg Depot. 100 W. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. skunktrain.com/ cinema-in-the-redwoods.

Saturday 23 Kids Triathlon. Swim, bike & run.

Level 1: ages 6 & younger. Level 2: ages 4–11. Level 3: ages 8–17.

Have More Fun & Create Great Memories Get weekly FREE e-mail updates for the best LOCAL family fun calendar

visit

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July 2022

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Registration: $10–$15. Hosted by the City of Ukiah. Check-in starts at 9 a.m.

Todd Grove Park. 600 Live Oak Ave., Ukiah. Register: cityofukiah.com/ kids-triathlon.

Sunday 24 FREE CMAS Adventure Day Camp.

Ages 7–16. Plant & animal track identification, team scavenger hunts, fire safety & first aid demos. Space limited. Presented by Children’s Museum of Art & Science. July 24 & Aug. 28. Noon–4 p.m. Clear Lake Campground. 7805 Cache Creek Way, Clearlake. 707-295-1030. facebook. com/CMASLakeCounty.

Thursday 28 FREE Read to a Dog. Independent

readers ages 12 & younger can sign

up for a 15-minute session to read aloud to a therapy dog. 11 a.m.–noon.

Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. Sign up: 707-994-5115.

Friday 29 Gala in the Grove. An

evening of food, wine & music under the trees at Mendocino College Grove.

Proceeds support local North Coast Opportunities programs. $60. VIP table for 6: $450. 5–9 p.m.

Mendocino College. 1000 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. Tickets: tinyurl. com/mrn47p9y.

Saturday 30

30 & 31: 7 p.m. Library Park. 200 Park St., Lakeport. facebook.com/ shakesthelake.

Sunday 31 Grand Music in the Botanical Gardens. Two

outdoor performances. Noon: Roy Jajac, clarinet virtuoso, performs Mozart & Gershwin with quintet. 3 p.m.: Vocalist Christianna Valentina & her tango ensemble. Dancing. Free with garden admission: $8–$15; ages 5 & younger, free. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. Advance tickets required: tinyurl.com/k8nvt9tr.

FREE Shakespeare at the Lake.

Twelfth Night, a comedy of love & deception. Bring low-back chair or blanket. Donations suggested. July

PRESENTED BY

PRE-MOVIE ACTIVITIES AT 7 PM MOVIE AT DUSK

RECREATION DEPARTMENT

Planes: Fire & Rescue (G) June 24th Ukiah Airport

The Sandlot (PG) July 1st Anton Stadium

Space Jam (PG) July 29th Vinewood Park

Wall-E (G) August 12th Observatory Park

Spiderman: No Way Home (PG-13) July 15th Ukiah Valley Golf Course

Encanto (PG) August 26th Oak Manor Park

For more information, call (707) 463-6231 or visit www.cityofukiah.com/recreation www.mendolakefamilylife.com

July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 31

Humor Break

The author with her daughters

trying to explain the complexities of jealousy, fear, and joy. I don’t want my daughters to be afraid of their emotions—it’s the most important lesson I want them to learn. The irony of this, of course, is that I’m actually afraid of how I will cope with the inevitable tsunami of kid-feelings that I know is only just beginning to emerge.

From Elmo to Emo Dancing with Kids’ Big Emotions

By Jessica Guerrieri

M

ost sane adults feared them, but I adored them: middle schoolers. They were my favorite students when I was a teacher.

Maybe because in my heart I sometimes still feel like an angsty, preteen girl myself. I vividly remember the visceral awkwardness of school dances, when my 11-year-old, 5’ 11” frame stuck out in the crowd like an ostrich in a chicken coop. But along with the discomfort, there was the excitement of curiosity and newfound freedom.

As a teacher, I had the enormous pleasure of chaperoning these same types of dances. I became 32 MendoLakeFamilyLife

the observer of a sea of turbulent emotions, hormonal heartbreak— and body odor that had the power to peel wallpaper. It was an up-close and personal view of the preciousness of preteens’ utter insecurity, juxtaposed alongside an unwavering confidence that they were the sole-knowers-of-absolutelyeverything. Duh. Now, a decade after I first chaperoned those dances, I am sitting center stage as I watch my girls figure out the dance of their own emotions. What began as Elmo singing little songs about the meaning of happy and sad has quickly morphed into me July 2022

My therapist has assured me that I am exactly the right person to empathize with these stamped copies of my childhood self. But my patience is definitely tested. As a teacher, my exposure to my students’ ups and downs was limited; as a mom, all my good hiding places are no longer a secret.

I don’t want my daughters to be afraid of their emotions.

But when it gets hard for us, I go back to my teacher days and the tumult I witnessed on the middle school dance floor. I remind myself of the lessons our feelings teach all of us: without sadness, we can’t discern joy; without fear, we wouldn’t know bravery. I know that, together, my daughters and I will learn to navigate the world of strong emotions—all while I have the honor of watching them dance to their own beat.

Jessica Guerrieri is a mom and a freelance writer and aspiring novelist.

Find her at jessicaguerrieri.net and on Instagram and Twitter @witandspitup.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Marketplace Preschools

Schools

Give Your Give Child a Head Start!

C E N T E R S

Free Your & Low-Cost Quality Preschool!

• Ukiah Child a classroomsTuition-free ✓ 1/2-day & full-day for Montessori North Ukiah - Bush St. ages 18 months to 5 years Nokomis - Washington Ave. Head elementary South forUkiah ages 5-13 - S. State St. ✓ Potty-trained not necessary Peach Tree - S. Orchard Ave. Start!

Hands-on, arts and music  ✓ Children with disabilities welcome • Willits

LEAH SHARIDAN

integrated with academics Near Brookside School at ✓ Referrals for transportation available Free & Low-Cost Spruce St. & Lincoln Way  National Green Campus Quality Preschool!

• Lake County Also providing FREE in-home services for

 Promotes responsibility, Upper Lake - 2nd Street infants, toddlers & pregnant women!

Head Start Child Development Program www.ncoinc.org Head Start

Celebrate Pomo Culture

F

or millennia, Pomo Native Americans have made their home in what is now called Lake County. How have they lived? What are their values? These are questions to be explored at the Thrilling Thursdays: Cultural Day when members of the Tribal Advisory Committee will be on hand to tell stories and talk about Pomo culture. Participants will create a Pomo dice and learn how to play a game with it. The event will be held on July 21, 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m., at the Lower Lake Schoolhouse Museum in Lower Lake. For more event information, go to tinyurl.com/y8tbck2n. ¶

(707)Development 462-2582 Program License #230111843 Child Applications online: www.ncoinc.org • (707) 462-2582

• Coastnorth end of Fairgrounds Fort Bragg - Lincoln St. PO Box 966 Ukiah 95482

treeoflifeschool@pacific.net www.treeoflifeschool.net

Accelerated Achievement Academy

Get Mom’s Attention!

     

FREE public school Grades 4-12 Small school Small class sizes Tutoring Career exploration

Call today! 707-463-7080

YOUR AD HERE Classifieds Work Call 586-9562

K

ids are natural explorers, especially when they’re outside. The Children’s Museum of Art and Science free Adventure Day Camp aims to give their curiosity some direction, offering lessons in plant and animal track identification, and even on dissecting owl pellets. The days will also include team scavenger hunts, fishing on the Cache River, and an experience of mess hall cooking. The camp, which is for ages 7–16, will be held on July 24 and August 28, noon–4 p.m., at the Clear Lake Campground in Clearlake. Attendance is limited to 30 each day. The camp is free but donations are accepted.

To register, go to tinyurl.com/cmascamp. Find out more information at facebook.com/CMASLakeCounty. ¶ www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Lakeport - Howard Ave. Clearlake - Pearl Ave. ClearlakeLocated - Meadowbrookon Dr.

707-462-0913

Find a School or After-School Activity in our Online Directories MendoLakeFamilyLife.com

Free Nature Camp for Kids

Lake - Clover Valley respect, andUpper peace

Like Us On Facebook www.facebook.com/ MendoLakeFamilyLifeMagazine

Find critical COVID-19 info plus lots of free kid-friendly activities.

July 2022

MendoLakeFamilyLife 33

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