Mendo Lake Family Life November 2022

Sharon Gowan Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us

hanksgiving is a time when we take a moment to be grateful for what is good in our lives. And, of course, we would like kids to learn to express appreciation, too. But how do we teach little ones to have an “attitude of gratitude” without relentlessly nagging them? Writer-mom Christina Katz has the answer: play! Read about ways to have thankful fun in her “Gratitude Games” (page 20).

There are some kids who are grateful just to have a home—and parents who are equally thankful to finally have longed-for children. Adoption and foster parenting brings many families together. But the transition

Tfor both kids and moms and dads is not always easy. In “Forever Home” (page 14), Rachael Moshman, a mom of an adopted daughter, shares what she’s learned.

While the holiday season is full of happy vibes, it’s also a time when stress abides. But, as Pam Moore found out, even strangers can help each other through tough days. Read Moore’s “Angels Do Exist” (page 18) and be inspired.

We hope to support you, our readers, through all your parenting ups and downs. Thank you for turning to our pages as you raise the next generation.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Contributing Writers

Kimberly Blaker Nikki Dinki Jessica Guerrieri

Christina Katz

Pam Moore Rachael Moshman

Gregg Murset

Jon Sieber

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Jan Wasson-Smith

Publishing Office P.O. Box 351 Philo, CA 95466 (707) 205 1539

Dreamy Creamy

Cook Up a Comforting Side

By Nikki Dinki

When you take your first bite of this ultra-dreamy rice dish, you’ll be convinced that it is laden with cream and butter. In actuality, that richness comes from extra-starchy Arborio rice, a staple for making risotto (and don’t fret, it’s easily found at your market). The more you stir this special rice, the more the starch releases, making it creamier and creamier on the outside while still staying tender yet firm on the inside—it’s what comfort-food dreams are made of. Add some cauliflower rice, which blends in perfectly because of its similar firm-tender bite, and you’ll officially be on cloud nine.

Reprinted, with permission, from More Veggies Please! by Nikki Dinki, photos by Andreana Bitsis (BenBella Books)

Nikki Dinki is a chef, author, mom, and TV host. Flip through her award-winning first book, Meat on the Side, and follow her food-driven adventures on multiple Food Network and Cooking Channel series. She also candidly reveals her successes and struggles raising three kids (including a set of twins!) and offers up more tasty veggie-focused recipes on social media and NikkiDinkiCooking.com

Cauliflower Chive Risotto

1 quart chicken or vegetable stock

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 medium yellow onion (8 ounces), finely chopped (1½ cups)

3 garlic cloves, minced Kosher salt

1 cup Arborio rice

2 cups cauliflower rice, fresh or frozen (6 ounces; see Notes)

Ground black pepper

1¼ cups grated Parmesan cheese (5 ounces)

¼ cup finely chopped fresh chives + more for a garnish

¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)

1. Warm the stock in a small saucepan over low heat. While it warms, heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic, and ½ teaspoon salt to the oil in the skillet and cook until the onion is soft and translucent— about 5 minutes. Add the Arborio rice to the onion in the skillet and continue cooking until the rice is just toasted— about 5 minutes more.

NOTES

* Got some wine on hand? After the rice is toasted at the end of Step 1, add ½ cup white wine (a traditional ingredient in risotto) and cook until it is absorbed by the rice. Then continue on with Steps 2 and 3, adding the

2. Gradually add the warmed stock to the vegetable and rice mixture, ½ cup at a time, stirring often and waiting until it is fully absorbed before adding more. Continue until the rice is just tender, but still shy of al dente—15 to 20 minutes. If at any point you run out of stock, you can use water.

3. Stir in the cauliflower rice, ½ cup more stock (or water, if needed), another ¼ teaspoon salt, and ¼ teaspoon pepper. Cook, stirring often, until the cauliflower is tender and the rice is al dente—10 to 15 minutes.

4. Add the Parmesan, chives, and red pepper flakes (if desired). Continue to cook, stirring, until the cheese is melted and the ingredients are well combined. Taste and add more salt if necessary. If your risotto thickens too much as you prepare to serve it, add a splash more stock or water. Garnish with chives and a sprinkle of black pepper, and enjoy!

Makes 4 cups. Serves 4.

stock, cauliflower rice, and so on. Get ready for a great flavor boost!

* To make homemade cauliflower rice, process half of a small head of cauliflower (9 ounces). That should give you the 2 cups you need for this recipe.

PHOTO: ANDREANA BITSIS

Experience Gypsy Joy

The south of France is known for its luxurious coast, where the wealthy gather to play. But it’s also a haven for gypsies. This past summer, Michel Michelis, producer of Cirque de Bohème, spent a lot of time in these French gypsy communities and became enchanted with their music, dance, and way of life. His experience inspired the new winter Cirque de Bohème show, Gypsy, which will feature a magician, mime, contortionist, and trapeze and aerial artists. Performances will be held at Cornerstone Sonoma in Sonoma at 1 p.m., 3 p.m., and 5 p.m. November 25–27 and Saturdays and Sundays in December, through Christmas. Tickets are $39 for adults, $29 for ages 15 and younger, and may be purchased at cirquedeboheme.com.

Hop on a Christmas Train

It’s a little known fact that Santa has a hideout in the redwoods. And the Skunk Train can take kids there. The Magical Christmas Train will travel through some of the tallest trees on the planet until it reaches the Giant Christmas Tree, a decorated tree that serves as the workshop for Santa Mr. Skunk. The 90-minute round-trip ride departs from Willits and ends with an opportunity for kids to climb aboard an historic motorcar at the Willits Depot and meet Santa Mr. Skunk in person. Rides begin on November 26 and run until December 31. Tickets are $10.95–$59.95; dogs are $10.95; kids two and younger ride on a lap for free. Morning and afternoon trips available; make reservations at skunktrain.com.

Get All Dolled Up

The delicate features of a porcelain face, a muslin body dressed up in lace—the charms of antique dolls are known to collectors far and wide. At the Santa Rosa Doll and Toy Show, not only antique and vintage, but also modern and miniature dolls will be on display, to view and to purchase. An annual event, the show will be held this year on November 6, 10 a.m.–3:30 p.m., at the Santa Rosa Veterans building in Santa Rosa. Admission is $6 or free for ages 12 and younger. Get $1 off with the flyer available at santarosadollshow.blogspot.com

The Magical Christmas Train

Santa Rosa Doll and Toy Show

Feast on Color

Electric blue. Emerald green. Neon red. The Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens’ in Fort Bragg is a feast of colors during the Festival of Lights, when the gardens’ many trees, bushes, and flowers are spruced up with holiday sparkle. Light sculptures, such as boats, jellyfish, and flamingoes, decorate the grounds, too. This annual garden fundraiser will be held November 25–December 18, 5–7 p.m.; tickets are $10 or free for ages 16 and younger, and can be reserved at tinyurl.com/2p9m5vkz

Eat Sweets & Help Kids

Abused and neglected children often don’t have a voice. But since 1994, CASA of Mendocino and Lake Counties’ volunteers have advocated for them. The nonprofit is holding a fundraiser to make sure it can continue its work with local children. The 9th Annual Sips, Eats & Sweets, which will feature sweet and savory bites and a silent auction, will be held on November 6, 3–5:30 p.m., at Barra of Mendocino Winery in Redwood Valley. Call CASA at 707-489-7231 to purchase tickets, which are $25–$30. Must be 21 or older to attend. For more information, go to facebook.com/CASAMendocinoCounty.

Look Out for Flying Pumpkins

Who can fling a pumpkin the farthest? That’s what local Future Farmers of America members aim to find out as they compete in the First Annual Farm Bureau Punkin Chunkin Festival. Besides catapults, air cannons, and trebuchets launching squashes into the air, there will also be a grape stomp, petting zoo, pear-throwing contest, and an “anything pumpkin” baking contest. The festivities will be held on November 5, 11 a.m.–3 p.m., at the Wildhurst Pumpkin Patch and Corn Maze in Lakeport. Admission is $5; parking is free. Find out more at tinyurl.com/ yjd7696u

Festival of Lights

Sips, Eats & Sweets

16 STEM Toys

Boost Kids’ Interest in Science & Tech

By Kimberly Blaker

Today, it’s more crucial than ever that children develop a keen interest in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM). Over the coming decades, the pace of scientific and technological advancement is expected to climb at an exponential rate. As a result, STEM professions will continue to grow.

So how do you help your child develop an appreciation for STEM? Play! There are numerous games, toys, and kits on the market that make learning STEM loads of fun. Here are some of the best.

Big Bag of Science Ages 8+

With this kit, kids can perform more than 70 fun activities in the areas of chemistry, physics, biology, geology, magnetism, weather, and flight. Kids use real scientific tools, which are included in the kit, to do their experiments.

DoughLab: Bake and Learn

Ages 6+ This yummy bread-making

kit includes five experiments through which kids can learn about the power of yeast and discover the perfect recipe.

ETI Toys Lil’ Engineers

Engineering Blocks Ages 3–6

This box of colorful, multi-sized and multi-shaped blocks, screws, nuts, plates, wheels, and connectors keeps kids engrossed for hours. Kids can build 12 different toy designs while developing their motor skills, eye-hand coordination, logical thinking, and problem-solving skills.

Goobi Construction Set Ages 3+ Kids learn about magnetism while constructing 3D structures

out of colorful plastic bars, iron balls, and tripods. Children will develop a sense of proportion while improving eye-hand coordination, problem-solving skills, and learning the basics of physics, geometry, and architecture.

Gravity Maze Ages 8+ Kids use spatial reasoning skills to arrange towers to create a path for a marble to travel. It includes 60 challenge cards ranging from beginner to expert.

Green Kid Crafts Rainforest Science Box Ages 3–10 This kit embraces kids’ creativity while encouraging them to explore science. Kids can conduct a rainforest pollution experiment, create a rain stick, and build a rainforest terrarium, among other activities.

IQ Fit Ages 6+ This spatial reasoning and problem-solving game boasts 120 challenges in which kids must fill the board with the missing 3-D pieces. It’s a compact travel size game and a great value.

Magformers Ages 3+ These magnetic geometric construction kits come in a variety of choices. Kids can build 3D structures, such as houses, pyramids, and balls, out of colorful magnetic triangles, diamonds, trapezoids, and squares.

MudWatt STEM Kit: Clean Energy from Mud! Ages 8+ Kids will love building a living fuel cell with soil and ingredients from the fridge. With the help of a free app, kids can measure the fuel cell power and track microbe growth.

Osmo Genius Kit Ages 6–10 This kit boasts five games that turn an iPad into a hands-on learning

experience. On the iPad, Osmo interacts with every real-live move. This kit enhances kids’ visual thinking, creative problem-solving skills, and self-expression.

Prime Climb Ages 10+ Learning to add, subtract, divide, and multiply is a breeze with this award-winning mathematics board game.

Qurious Space Ages 3+ This 4-in-1 family card game teaches kids about the solar system, the Milky Way, and more. Kids learn simple strategy and creative problem-solving skills while developing vocabulary and enhancing their memory.

Rock On! Geology Game

5+ Kids explore the Earth’s geological treasures in this fun science game. It

comes complete with an assortment of rock and mineral specimens.

Sequence for Kids Ages 3–6 The goal in this strategy-building card and board game is to be the first to place four chips in a row. The challenge is

Kids will love building a living fuel cell with soil and ingredients

numerous awards. Various kits include phototransistors, LEDs, resistors, ICs, DC motors, flying propellers, electromagnets, lamps, switches, and much more. Kids can make an AM radio, burglar alarm, doorbell, flying saucer, and voice recorder.

to think strategically and finish before your opponent uses a unicorn card to

ThinkFun Rush Hour Ages 8+ Winner of a national Mensa award, this traffic gridlock game sharpens kids’ planning and sequential reasoning skills. There are 40 challenges, from beginner to expert. The goal is to move cars through the puzzle until the red car escapes the traffic jam. ❖

kids busy and learning with these electronics discovery kits, which come in several variations and have won

Kimberly Blaker is a freelance parenting writer. She’s also founder and director of KB Creative Digital Services, an Internet marketing agency: kbcreativedigital.com.

sitting across from them, which helps develop important social skills and emotional intelligence.

Chess teaches sportsmanship. Win or lose, kids will learn it’s fun to play the game of chess with a friend. In the game, they’ll grow to understand the consequences of a bad move and how to embrace failure. But,

Family Chess

5 Ways Kids Benefit from Learning to Play

By Jon Sieber

Chess is one of the oldest and most popular games in history, with early forms of the game dating back to the 6th century CE. The game certainly saw a revival when the pandemic began, as people around the globe dusted off their chessboards and even binge-watched the Queen’s Gambit, one of the most-watched series ever inspired by the masterful game.

Chess is not just for adults. It has many benefits for kids, including fostering critical developmental skills and teaching important life-long lessons. If you’ve been thinking about getting in on the craze and introducing chess to your children (or even learning how to play together), here are five reasons why you should totally do it: Chess exercises both sides of the brain. In a game of chess, the left analytical side of the brain looks for the next logical move, while the right creative side seeks out patterns and new possibilities. The game boosts both intelligence and creativity.

Chess gives kids an edge in the classroom. Playing chess is known to increase IQ, promote critical thinking, and teach core math and verbal skills. It also helps kids retain information, improve test scores, solve problems, remain calm under pressure, and perform well in school.

Chess helps kids speak the same language. The chessboard is 64 squares of safe space that brings together kids of all backgrounds, interests, and languages. It’s a common ground and even playing field. Through chess, kids also learn to explore the thoughts of the person

at the end of every game, they always give a “good game” handshake. This teaches kids how to lose with dignity and win with humility.

Chess is the ultimate executive coach. Grit is a powerful driving force and predictor of success in the business world, and an important trait kids can learn when they play chess. The game teaches kids patience as they work through different scenarios, learn to plan, course correct, and wait to see how things play out.

Plus, learning chess is more accessible and approachable than ever before. There are after-school programs, private tutors, online classes, and now an innovative board game, Story Time chess, which uses a silly, story-based curriculum to introduce chess to kids as young as three years old. ❖

Jon Sieber is a dad and cofounder of Story Time Chess. For more than a decade, Sieber has successfully taught hundreds of kids as young as three years old how to play chess using an innovative teaching method and story-based curriculum. Story Time Chess: The Game is available at storytimechess. com and on Amazon.

The game boosts both intelligence and creativity.

families have a delightful desire to care and love but are often surprised when the child is not responsive and appreciative. Expectations are usually unrealistic.” She suggests parents consider what the situation is like for the child. “Children are usually very scared and have no idea what to expect when they enter a new home. It’s like arriving in a foreign country in which you do not know the language or customs until you step on the landmine and are corrected.”

Forever Home

How to Help Adopted & Foster Kids Cope

By Rachael Moshman

Bringing home a new child is an exciting experience. It can also be overwhelming, especially when the child comes to you through foster care or adoption. The child has already been through the trauma of at least one move and separation from familiar caregivers. They are likely scared and confused, as are the new parents and any children already in the home.

My daughter entered foster care at age four and lived in a dozen places before my husband and I adopted her when she was nine. We met her on a Monday and she moved in with us that Friday. This included flying half way across the country with us.

We had anxiously been preparing to bring her home for six months while we waited for interstate placement paperwork to clear. However, she wasn’t given nearly the same amount of time to process the change. She didn’t even know we existed until days

before our arrival. She had a new state, home, school, and parents to adjust to with very little preparation.

It was a difficult transition for our family. My husband and I underestimated how challenging it would be for us to settle into our new life as parents of a traumatized nine-year-old.

Therapist Nancy Mehesy has worked with many foster and adoptive families. She offers the following advice.

Have reasonable expectations. Mehesy says, “Foster and adoptive

She encourages those starting this journey to talk to experienced foster or adoptive families and caseworkers who can guide them towards more realistic expectations. She also emphasizes that the family will never be the same. “Adding a child to the home through foster care or adoption changes the dynamics, priorities, and daily operations of the home and impacts every member of the family.”

Work to ease the child’s fear and anxiety. Nancy says there are several steps foster and adoptive families can take to make the transition easier. She suggests:

• Allow the children to have choices when appropriate.

• Respect items they bring with them from previous homes, such as books, toys, clothing, and photos.

• Give the child plenty of notice and time to adjust to the family’s expectations and schedules.

Parents shouldn’t expect bonding to occur quickly or to try to force it.

• Help the child find words to express their feelings.

• Provide a safe and quiet space that the child can go to when overwhelmed.

• Grant permission for the child to continue caring about their biological family or previous foster parents. She adds parents shouldn’t expect bonding to occur quickly or to try to force it. Attachment takes time for everyone involved. She urges, “Be honest with yourself about all your feelings, hopes, and fears, even if you think they are unacceptable.”

Prepare for challenging behavior. Nancy explains that the child may never have experienced structure or adult responsiveness. Instead, they’ve learned that the world isn’t a safe place and they can only

depend upon themselves. They may act out in an effort to keep themselves closed off to the new family for fear that they will be rejected yet again. Each move is very traumatic and often results in the child building stronger internal walls in an effort to protect themselves.

Nancy says challenging behaviors, including defiance, tantrums, aggressiveness, and destruction, are common in foster and adopted children. “Their wounds are silent and often misunderstood. Their behavior, which may be unusual, has a much deeper meaning than trying to rebel against authority.”

She offers three warnings:

1. At first the child may go through a honeymoon period of “good behavior.”

2. Traditional parenting methods are often ineffective with traumatized children. A therapist experienced in trauma and adoption issues can help you explore alternatives.

3. Friends and family may pull away because they don’t understand the situation or know how to respond. She adds, “A commitment to love even when children behave in an unlovable manner is vital.”

Our daughter has been home for nearly three years now. It’s been a tough road, but so worth it. She summed it up best on Mother’s Day, when, while both celebrating me and grieving her biological family, she said, “Adoption is complicated.” ❖

Find Rachael Moshman at ramblingrach.com

Native Voices

Children’s Books About Indigenous Peoples

Want a fun way to teach kids about Native Americans? Try picture books! These award-winning volumes, most of which are by Native American authors and illustrators, share stories, ceremonies, and perspectives of several different Native peoples.

Fry Bread: A Native American Family Story by Kevin Noble Maillard and illustrated by Juana Martinez-Neal (Roaring Book Press, 2019). Ages 2–6. Winner of the 2020 Robert F. Sibert Informational Book Medal and also a 2020 American Indian Youth Literature Picture Book Honor award, this story is not just about a Native staple food, but also about modern Native identity.

We Are Water Protectors by Carole Lindstrom and Michaela Goade (Roaring Book Press, 2020). Ages 3–8. This 2021 Caldecott winner, authored by an Anishinaabe/Métis writer and illustrated by a Tlingit artist, is a powerful, poetic call to steward the Earth’s resources.

Keepunumuk: Weeâchumun’s Thanksgiving Story by Danielle

Greendeer, Anthony Perry, and Alexis Bunten and illustrated by Garry Meeches Sr. (Charlesbridge, 2022). Ages 3–7. Written and illustrated by Native authors, this book retells the Thanksgiving story from the point of view of the Wampanoag people, focusing on how, without Weeâchumun (corn), the Wampanoag would not have been able to help the Pilgrims.

Native American Stories for Kids by Tom Pecore Weso (Rockridge Press, 2022). Ages 6–9. A Menominee writer offers tales from 12 different tribes indigenous to America, including historical information about each tribe at the end of every story.

We Are Grateful: Otsaliheliga by Traci Sorell and illustrated by Frané Lessac (Charlesbridge, 2018). Ages 3–7. The Cherokee author explains the

importance of gratitude (otsaliheliga) in her culture as she weaves descriptions of different foods, crafts, and ceremonies into the story. A 2019 Silbert Honor Book, it includes a glossary and Cherokee syllabary.

Powwow Day by Traci Sorell and illustrated by Madelyn Goodnight (Charlesbridge, 2022). Ages 3–8. This uplifting book teaches kids about powwows as it tells the tale of River, a little girl whose illness may keep her from dancing in her community.

We Are Still Here by Traci Sorell and illustrated by Frané Lessac (Charlesbridge, 2021). Ages 7–10. This 2022 American Indian Youth Literature Picture Book Honor Book features the voices of 12 Native American youth, who talk about the historical and contemporary laws and policies that have affected Native American life.

Bowwow Powwow by Brenda J. Child and illustrated by Jonathan Thunder (Minnesota Historical Society Press, 2018). Ages 3–7. An award-winning, playful story about the imaginative Windy Girl, the stories and traditions she learns from Uncle, and their visit to a powwow with Windy’s dog, Itchy Boy. Gordon Jourdain provides a companion Ojibwe translation.

Birdsong by Julie Flett (Greystone Kids, 2019). Ages 3–8. A Cree-Métis author/illustrator weaves this tale about a friendship between a lonely girl and an elderly woman artist. The book, which Kirkus Reviews calls “emotionally stunning,” was declared the Best Book of the Year by Publishers Weekly, School Library Journal, Kirkus, Horn Book, Quill & Quire, and Globe and Mail. ❖

Angels Do Exist

The Story of a Grocery Store Mom-Hero

By Pam Moore

Every time I take my kids grocery shopping, I return with a week’s worth of food and a lifetime’s worth of regret. Every time, I search my soul for an answer to the question: Why didn’t I do Home Shop?

Recently, I took the kids shopping after picking my three-year-old up from preschool. I had 80 minutes before we had to be home for lunch. In my mind, it seemed totally reasonable.   I arrived at preschool pick-up a couple of minutes early. When my daughter saw me she pronounced, “I wasn’t expecting you.” We were off to a great start.

As we walked to the car, she took off running.

“I need you to get in the car, please,” I called.

In response, she threw herself into a leaf pile.

We did not have time to frolic.

“Get. In. The. Car. Please.”

She burrowed deeper into the leaves as I scooped her into the car. She strained against me and then hit my arm.

“WE. DON’T. HIT.”

I seethed as I made a detour for a proper time-out.

We did not have time for a time-out. I directed her to an upside-down bucket in our garage, where she sat

facing the wall for three minutes. I was exhausted and we hadn’t even made it to the grocery store. When we pulled up, the place was jamming.

We did not have time to search for parking.

After several loops around the lot, I slid into a spot, unbuckled the girls, and strode across the pavement as quickly as one can while carrying a 17-month-old and holding a three-year-old’s hand. As we approached the store, my toddler exclaimed, “They have the racecar cart!” Her favorite cart has all the maneuverability of a Mac truck.

I noticed it was soaking wet from the morning’s rain. I feigned

She saw a tired mom with two kids, a wet cart, an empty fridge.

disappointment.  “Aw honey, it’s wet! Let’s find another cart.”

By the time we entered the supermarket, my arm burned under the baby’s weight. I set her down in search of a dry cart and had no luck. To my horror, I turned around to find the baby toddling toward a tall drink display. I collected her, instructed my three-year-old not to move, dashed back outside, grabbed the racecar cart, and pushed it up the ramp with one hand.

I did not have time for a wet racecar cart.

Inside the store, I set the baby down, told my three-year-old to hold her hand, and tore off in search of a towel, looking over my shoulder as the baby

lunged toward the tower of drinks. I grabbed a box of tissues from the service desk and sprinted back in time to prevent a Gatorade avalanche.

With the baby in one arm and tissues in the crook of the other, I tilted the cart sideways to drain some water. In my mind, it made perfect sense. In reality, it made a huge puddle.

I considered going home.

And then an angel approached. She had long, curly, black hair, glasses, and a loaf of bread.

“Can I help you?” she asked. I could have wept in gratitude.

“Um, yes...”

“What can I do?” she asked, concern in her eyes.

“I’m not sure. I’m… overwhelmed.”

Just then, the service desk guy whose Kleenex I’d stolen appeared with a legit roll of paper towels. He ripped off a bunch and handed them to Angel Woman. I stood, holding the baby and my toddler’s hand while they wiped the cart and Angel Woman crooned to my kids.

“You are being so patient. You are both waiting so nicely. I’m a mommy, so I know how hard it can be for kids to be patient.”

We made eye contact and exchanged a smile. She didn’t have to mention she was a mom. I knew the moment I saw her that she really saw me. She didn’t see an idiot taking up the whole entryway with the RV of carts and a

couple of unsupervised rugrats. She saw a tired mom with two kids, a wet cart, an empty fridge, and 45 precious minutes to get through the store.

Her small act of kindness meant so much. It didn’t mean my kids weren’t begging for turkey and bananas in the store or that I remembered my shopping list. But it meant that when I asked myself why I didn’t buy my groceries online, I knew: If I hadn’t come to the supermarket, I wouldn’t have been reminded that angels exist.

Wherever you are, thank you, Mama. ❖ This article was originally published on Scary Mommy

Pam Moore is the host of the Real Fit podcast. Get her free guide to improving your body image at pam-moore.com

Gratitude Games Fun Ways to Reawaken Appreciation in Kids

By Christina Katz

Let’s face it, kids do not always feel grateful for everything they have. But just because they do not feel appreciative every minute of every day does not make them ingrates.

And for better or for worse, if you constantly nag your kids with lines like, “Do you realize how lucky/ fortunate/blessed you are?” eventually they will just tune you out.

Remind kids to have an attitude of gratitude, but do it without excessive pressure. In fact, if you can make scavenging for gratitude an opportunity for fun every year, everybody wins.

You may be surprised to learn that your kids are a lot more appreciative than you thought. And they may decide that expressing what they are grateful for isn’t as much of a pain as they imagined.

So, go ahead. Make gratitude games an annual habit every Thanksgiving season. Here are five ways to motivate your kids to dig deep and rediscover an inner well of thankfulness without feeling put out.

Word association. Ask “What do you feel most grateful for?” and let kids respond with a list of words that represent moments, memories, or anything that pops into their minds. Family members can work alone or as a group. A parent can help a preschooler create a short, colorful list. School-age children may do better if given a number challenge like, “What are the top ten things you feel most

grateful for this past year?” Keep the activity quick, fun, and light. Don’t treat it like an essay assignment unless you have a writer in the family who would enjoy answering the question in essay form.

Photo safari. Over the course of a fall weekend, give each child an hour with your digital camera or your camera phone. The assignment is to go around your house and yard snapping photos of things that make them feel happy. These photos can include people, pets, nature, objects,

Start a round robin of sharing tough lessons learned during the past year.

places, and anything else they love. When you recover your camera/phone, download a smattering of photos for each child into a collage format offered through your favorite local photo printing service. Have each child title the document in her or his own words and hang photo collages near the Thanksgiving table. Plastic or magnetic frames make it easy to protect and store collages for next year. Appreciation postcards. Get a few packages of blank postcards and fine-point, water-based markers from the art supply store. For young children, parents can write names and addresses of family members in permanent ink on one side of the postcard, so important information won’t smear. Then, on the other side, ask your kids to write one word that describes something they appreciate about each family member and decorate the postcard to match the

sentiment. Make this an annual event and family members will look forward to their handmade postcards every year.

Lessons learned. Life is school. We are all always learning new things. Sometimes we learn things we can’t appreciate until later because the learning process is challenging, difficult, or painful. Discussing these kinds of learning experiences raises an awareness of resiliency in kids and teaches them not to shirk challenges. About a week before Thanksgiving, start a round robin of sharing tough lessons learned during the past year. Rather than having everyone share in one night, let one person per night share in a relaxed manner during dinner. You might just

find your family swept up in some of your most educational and inspiring conversations of the year.

Written on stone. Creating a thoughtful gift for someone else can bring out gratitude in even the grumpiest pilgrim. Purchase enough large river stones from your local

garden shop or stone supplier so that each person in attendance for Thanksgiving will have one with her or his name on it. Be sure to pick up a couple extra, just in case. Scrub

stones clean with soap and water and let dry. Paint stones on the top, sides, and bottom lip in an array of autumnal colors. Across the top of each stone, write guest names in large letters with permanent markers or paint pens. Let dry completely then cut words that describe each guest out of old magazines. Apply words to rims of stones with Mod Podge and sponge brushes. After the words dry, add one more coat to the stone. When stones are again dry, cut and glue a piece of felt on the bottom. Use stones as placeholders at the Thanksgiving table and watch the proud grins. ❖

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz feels grateful every time someone reads her words.

You may be surprised to learn that your kids are a lot more appreciative than you thought.

Buck Basics

Teach Kids Financial Literacy

By Gregg Murset

In school, most kids learn algebra, calculus, and trigonometry but not how to budget, save, or invest. The older we get, the more our responsibilities make it challenging to focus on learning financial principles, which is why it is important to start teaching kids healthy money habits at a young age. Here are a seven ways to do just that.

Learn to earn. Kids are addicted to OPM—other people’s money. They need to learn that money has to be earned. Chores are a great way to introduce kids to the “earning it” mentality. You can give kids as young as five chores or tasks to do around the house, assigning a dollar amount for each task.

Spread the dough. Setting boundaries with kids and letting them know they can’t just squander what they earn on candy and knick-knacks can help them learn healthy spending habits. Any money

Kids need to learn that money has to be earned.

kids make should be broken up into three categories: spend, save, and invest/donate. After you and your kids have decided how much will be spent, saved, and invested/ donated, stand firm and don’t let kids go beyond those established limits, even when they are begging or crying for the latest toy or video game.

Save for rainy days. Saving doesn’t seem nearly as fun as spending, but after witnessing how COVID-19 impacted people’s finances and the way inflation made prices skyrocket, it’s a critical skill kids need to learn. Teach kids to put away a percentage of their earnings, whether the money is obtained from doing chores or as holiday or birthday gifts. It can make a world of difference.

Recognizing the difference between wants and needs can save anyone a lot of money.

Understand investing is really saving. It might seem absolutely crazy to introduce young kids to the stock market and the practice of investing. But we all saw what happened with GameStop and the other viral investing opportunities that have been plastered all over social media. It’s important to step in and teach your kids how to invest before social media becomes your children’s financial advisor. The stock market doesn’t have to be a scary and overwhelming thing. Start kids slowly. For their first investment, have them pick a company (or product) they use. The app BusyKid makes the process easy and allows investments of as little as $10.

Learn that borrowing has its price. Most kids think of credit cards as “get out of jail free” cards. Sit down with your child and lay your plastic out on the table. Have an in-depth

Celebrating

discussion about interest. Let them know that cards don’t give you free money and that, unless you pay off an item the month it’s been purchased, you have to pay more for it.

Track invisible money. Most kids just see their parents sticking their debit or credit cards into machines and then walking out of stores with purchases. They don’t understand the transactions behind the swipes. You can use your own debit or credit card accounts to show kids what goes on behind the scenes. Pull up

The stock market doesn’t have to be a scary and overwhelming thing. Start kids slowly.

your online account and talk to kids about the different columns on the card statement as well as the balances. Also, there’s no better way to teach kids these skills than to provide them with hands-on experiences. Research the debit cards that are available for tweens and teens, and set up your children with one, so they can get used to “invisible money.”

Focus on needs, not wants. When it comes to learning to budget, recognizing the difference between wants and needs can save anyone a lot of money. The earlier your kids understand the difference, the better they will be at saving cash. Before they make a purchase—even while grocery shopping—have them make of practice of asking “want it or need it?” ❖

Gregg Murset is the cofounder and CEO of BusyKid. The father of six and grandfather of two is also a certified financial planner, consultant, and advocate for financial literacy.

resource for local

November Calendar of Events

Get in the Dickens’ Spirit

Every year, Lakeport locals visit the 19th century. No, there is no DeLorian time machine that takes them to 1845. Instead, the Dickens’ Festival brings the Victorian era to downtown. Attendees are invited to dress in period costumes and peruse art and food booths, do crafts with their kids, listen to strolling minstrels, and even check out the sliding hill and elf treasure hunt. The event is slated for November 26, 11 a.m.–6 p.m., in downtown Lakeport, and will include photos with Santa (noon–4 p.m.) and a tree lighting (5:30 pm.). Learn more at tinyurl.com/3aryknjy

Tuesday 1

Youth Wrestling Club Season Sign-Ups. Sponsored by the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Activities League. New & returning wrestlers

need to register prior to the start of the season. Ages 5 & older. Membership fee: $40. 5–7 p.m. 22751 Bray Rd., Willits. tinyurl.com/2dmtk3uu.

FREE Storytime at Middletown Library. Stories & songs. Tuesdays: 10:30–11:30 a.m. Other libraries will host this event. See tinyurl.com/ zmtfhn5f for branches/times.

Thursday 3

The House on Haunted Hill. Slapstick comedy based on the 1959 film starring Vincent Price. $12–$23. Nov. 3–5. 7 p.m. Ukiah Players Theatre. 1041 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah. Tickets: ukiahplayerstheatre.org/ box-office

FREE Middletown Chess Club. A friendly competition open to all ages. Thursdays. 2–4:30 p.m. Middletown Library. 21256 Washington St., Middletown. tinyurl.com/35uz76pd

Friday 4

FREE Makers Faire & Open Mic. Bring instruments. 5–8:30 p.m. Open Mic: 6 p.m. Middletown Art Center. 21456 Hwy. 175/29 Junction, Middletown.

FREE Shade Canyon Playgroup. Waldorf-style story, craft, or nature walk. For ages 5 & younger. 10–11:30 a.m. Held first & third Fridays of each month. Peace & Plenty Farm. 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. shadecanyon.org.

Saturday 5

Harvest Party & Chutney Challenge. Cider, fresh heirloom apples, food & music. Sample award-winning hard ciders & local chefs’ apple chutneys under heritage apple trees. Nonalcoholic cider available for the kids. $15/tasting. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Gowan’s Apple Orchards. 6320 Hwy. 128, Philo (1/4 mile north of Gowan’s Apple Stand). gowansheirloomcider.com/ book-online.

1st Annual Farm Bureau Punkin Chunkin Festival. Watch catapults, air cannons & trebuchets launch pumpkins in a battle between the local FFA Chapters. Food vendors, grape stomp, petting zoo & more.

$5. Parking: free. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Wildhurst Pumpkin Patch & Corn Maze. 4505 Thomas Dr., Lakeport. tinyurl.com/yjd7696u

Write On! In Lakeport. Local self-published writer Jordan O’Halloran teaches the basics of constructing a story. Suitable for all ages. Saturdays. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Lake

County Arts Council. 325 N. Main St., Lakeport. lakearts.org.

Acorn Day. Bonnie Lockhart leads hands-on painting activity that uses oak leaves. Sample acorn mush & learn how it’s made. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Grace Hudson Museum. 431 S. Main St., Ukiah. gracehudsonmuseum.org.

(Almost) Full Beaver Moon Tour. Beverages & snacks. $50. Reservations must be made by phone no later

Every other Saturday. Nov. 5 & 19. 10 a.m.–noon. Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. tinyurl.

Sunday 6

All-Hands Equine Rescue Open Meet horses & ponies available for adoption. Refreshments, prizes, 1/2 price tack sale & more. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. White Dog Ranch. 9800 Main St., Potter Valley. facebook.com/ TheWhiteDogRanch

First Fiddlers’ Jam. Listen to fiddle tunes played by members of the Northern California Old Time Fiddlers Group. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Stage Stop & Country Museum. 9921 Soda Bay Rd. (Hwy. 128), Kelseyville. lakecountybloom.com/big-calendar.

Santa Rosa Doll Show & Sale. Antique, vintage, modern & miniature dolls. $6. Ages 11 & younger: free when accompanied by adult. Proceeds help the Living Room, a women’s & children’s day shelter. 10 a.m.–3:30 p.m. Free parking. Santa Rosa Veterans Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. santarosadollshow.

9th Annual Sips, Eats & Sweets. CASA Mendocino & Lake Counties fundraiser. Sweet & savory bites plus slient auction. $25–$30. 3–5:30 p.m. Barra of Mendocino Winery. 7051 N. State St., Redwood Valley. Call for tickets: 707-489-7231.

Wednesday 9

FREE Honoring

&

of Native infants. Nov. 9 & 23: 11 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Big Valley. 2726 Mission Rancheria Rd., Bldg. 6, Lakeport. Registration required: tinyurl.com/bdf546zu or call 707-533-9085.

Thursday

Mendocino Public Library. Hosted by poetry author Michelle Peñaloza. Register for Zoom link: carrm@ mendocinocounty.org

Friday 11

FREE Veterans Day at the Museum. Free museum admission for veterans. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org/veterans_day.

Saturday 12

Lake County Turkey Run. All ages welcome. Live music, drinks, turkey dinner, prizes & more. Admission: $20 donation or a turkey. Presented by Freedom Riders Motorcycle Club. 10 a.m.–1 p.m. Ride start: GOB Clubhouse. 3737 Main St., Kelseyville. Ride end: Freedom Riders Clubhouse. 2598 S. Main St., Lakeport. lakecountybloom.com.

Brick Palooza. Huge exhibition of Lego art. Demos. Vendors selling vintage & classic sets plus Lego blocks by the pound. $12–$60. Ages 3 & younger: free. Nov. 12 & 13: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Roebbelen Center @the Grounds. 700 Event Center Dr., Roseville. thebrickhutt.com.

FREE Dav Pilkey Bingo. Kids play bingo inspired by Dav Pilkey, author of Dog Man & Captain Underpants books. Everyone wins stickers. 2–3 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg.

FREE Anderson Marsh Nature Walk. Leisurely paced, docent-led 3-mile walk. Held second Saturday of each month. 8:30 a.m. Anderson Ranch Pkwy., Lower Lake. andersonmarsh.org.

Sunday 13

FREE Gifts from the Oaks: Stories of Acorn Preparation. Led by Bernadette Smith of the Manchester

Band of Pomo Indians for a walk & talk about acorn preparation. Possible demo & tasting. 1 p.m. Old Smith Ranch Preserve, north of Fort Bragg. Register: mendocinolandtrust.org

Chamber Music Concert Series. Featuring The Horszowski Trio. $40–$45. 4 p.m. 46501 Old State

Hwy., Gualala. Tickets: tinyurl.com/ zybu8w74.

Outdoor Fall Arts & Crafts Bazaar. More than 40 vendors. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. (Rain date: Nov. 20.) Harwood Hall. 44400 Willis Ave., Laytonville. tinyurl. com/23mutp8s.

Tuesday 15

FREE Blue Door Teen Talk. Mendocino Coast Clinics’ team will lead fun & interactive discussion about sexual & reproductive health & respectful & safe relationships. Pizza/ drinks provided. 4:30 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. fortbragglibrary@gmail.com.

Wednesday 16

FREE Wings of Hope Family Support. Fun & meaningful family activities about grief & healing. Held third Wednesday of each month. 5–7 p.m. Hospice Services Bereavement Center. 1862 Parallel Dr., Lakeport. To learn more or reserve a spot, call 707-263-6222.

Friday 18

Mendocino College Reparatory Dance Fall Performance. Perspectives features Kara Starkweather, Devon Near, Stefan Haves, Trudy McCreaner & Eryn Schon-Brunner. $11–$16. Nov. 18–19: 7:30 p.m. Nov. 20: 2 p.m. Mendocino College Center Theatre. 100 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/ ystz4wke.

FREE Gifts ’n Tyme Holiday Craft Faire. Free parking. Nov. 18 & 19: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Nov. 20: 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Napa Valley Expo. 575 Third St., Napa. tinyurl.com/pnhxc3fw.

Saturday 19

FREE International Game Day. Play games of all kinds for all ages or bring one to share. Light snacks provided. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Round Valley Library.

23925 Howard St., Round Valley. tinyurl.com/yv83rsua.

Music & Dance Wave-Up. Family-friendly event features live music, dancing, art & food. $20. Ages 17 & younger: free. 7–10 p.m. Caspar Community Center. 15051 Caspar Rd., Caspar. tinyurl.com/56ypm3xd.

Mother-Wise Friendsgiving. Potluck turkey dinner. Turkey & drinks provided. Bring a side or dessert to share. 11 a.m. Mother-Wise. 180 North Main St., Lakeport. tinyurl. com/4rcapmsx

Sunday 20

FREE Kelseyville Artisan Market. Variety of handcrafted items from local vendors. Held third Sunday of each month. Food & drinks available for purchase. 10 a.m.–3 p.m.

Kelseyville Event Center. 5245 3rd St., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/3b69xzwt.

Amadeus in Autumn. Performance by Lake County Symphony with Conductor John Parkinson. $25–$30. 2 p.m. (Dress Rehearsal: 11 a.m., $5.; ages 17 & younger free.) Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. lakecountysymphonyassociation.org

Friday 25

Annual Festival of Lights. Garden plants illuminated with holidays lights. $10. Ages 16 & younger: free. No dogs allowed. Fridays–Sundays: 5–7 p.m. Thru Dec. 18. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. tinyurl.com/2p9m5vkz.

Cirque de Bohème. Gypsy, a circus holiday spectacle. Adults: $39. Kids (15 & younger): $29. Nov. 25–27: 1, 3 & 5 p.m. Runs weekends thru Dec. 25.

Cornerstone Sonoma. 23570 Arnold Dr., Sonoma. cirquedeboheme.com.

Saturday 26

FREE Dickens’ Festival. Arts & food booths. Music, kids’ crafts, sliding hill & more. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. Pet parade: noon. Photos with Santa: noon–4 p.m. Tree lighting: 5:30 p.m. Downtown Lakeport. lakecountybloom.com.

Happy 100th Birthday, Charles M. Schulz. Cake & music at noon. Free giveaways, live cartooning performances throughout the day. Included in price of admission ($5–$12 or free for ages 3 & younger). schulzmuseum.org.

Magical Christmas Train. Featuring children’s storybook reading & visits with Santa. 90-minute round-trip. $10.95–$59.95. Dogs: $10.95. Kids

ages 2 & younger ride on lap for free. Nov. 26: 10:30 a.m., 1:30 & 4 p.m. Nov. 27: 10:30 a.m. & 1:30 p.m. Nov. 30: 11:30 a.m., 4 & 6:30 p.m. Train runs thru Dec. 31. 299 E. Commercial St., Willits. skunktrain. com/magical-christmas-train.

FREE Historic Planes Display. Stroll among the display of historic airplanes. Held fourth Saturday of each month. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Lampson Field Airport. Highland Springs Rd., Kelseyville. tinyurl.com/yt4t9zcr.

Sunday 27

Winter Celebration on the Farm. Refreshments, farm gifts & goodies. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Peace & Plenty Farm. 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. peaceplentyfarm.com

Kitties & Candy

It’s So Hard to Say No

By Jessica Guerrieri

We can’t afford it.”

That’s what my dad said when I asked him for a candy bar. It was my parents’ standard reply for all my childhood nags, whether for chocolate or kitties. But fifty cents was too much? It didn’t feel fair.

I still remember how I swore right then and there that when I became a grown-up, I’d fill my cart with candy bars and a Noah’s Ark of baby animals.

And that is why this adulting thing is really hard. It’s bad enough that I have to be the one that ensures that everyone wears jackets and no one eats the Fruit Loops found in the dirt at the playground. But saying no to dessert and adorable pets? Ugh.

I know I’m not the only one who struggles. See Exhibit A: We were at a pumpkin patch near our house that has baby farm animals kids can hold. We’re talking the full cornucopia of cuteness— chicks, ducks, bunnies, and kittens. While my youngest was attempting to ride the pregnant pigmy goats, I overheard a fellow mother telling

her kids, “We can’t get a kitten because they are not for sale.”

Without missing a beat, her eightyear-old pointed out a large sign that said, “All animals are for sale.” (Boy, it’s fun when kids learn to read!)

“Well, we don’t have enough room for a kitten.”

“But we have enough room for a dog?”

Checkmate.

They left with not one, but two kittens.

I was a little more successful when I explained to my daughters why three bunnies and one dog are more than enough animals for any one household. “A kitten in our house would make all our current pets sad,” is just code for I simply cannot handle any more poop in my life. I just can’t. End of story.

Of course, my inner candy-barloving kid would love to sit out on my rocking chair all day watching my very own petting zoo as I devour king-sized Reese’s. But I’m a mom and the switch has been flipped. I get it now, Dad. I can’t afford to waver.

Jessica Guerrieri is a mom, humorist, and writer. Find her at witandspitup. com and on Instagram @witandspitup.

I simply cannot handle anymore poop in my life.

Stop Stinkin’ Thinkin’

The pandemic has had a huge toll on not only physical but also mental health. How do families take care of their hearts and minds, and keep negative thinking at bay? Adventist Health professionals will answer this question at a free 60-minute lecture on November 11 at 6:30 p.m. at the Seventh Day Adventist Church in Ukiah. The event will also be live streamed. See ukiahsda.com/watchlive.

Feel Mozart’s Magic

In his short 35 years on the planet, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart managed to produce more than 800 compositions. The prodigy died a pauper, but his pieces are still performed all over the globe today. The Lake County Symphony, along with the Lake County Community and Youth Orchestra, will be dedicating its fall concert to the great classical master, as well as other accomplished composers. See the symphony’s Amadeus in Autumn performance at Soper Reese Theatre in Lakeport on November 20 at 2 p.m. Tickets are $25–$30. Admission to the 11 a.m. dress rehearsal is $5 or free for those 17 and younger. See tinyurl.com/23s69r39 for details.