mendo lake FREE!
November 2023
Book Week
Embrace Reading
Sheet Pan Supper Easy Cleanup
Bad Grades? Here’s What to Do
Seasonal Crafts 3 Easy DIYs
If you’re in your 20s & 30s:
If you’re in your teens: ✓ OB-GYN visit ✓ Human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine ✓ Blood pressure screening
WOMEN’S HEALTH
If you’re in your 40s & 50s:
CHECKLIST Healthy at Every Stage
✓ Primary care visit ✓ Routine blood tests and lipid screening ✓ Pap test and pelvic exam ✓ Screens for breast cancer ✓ Colonoscopy ✓ Lung cancer screening
✓ Primary care visit ✓ Pap test and pelvic exam ✓ Clinical breast exam ✓ Sexually transmitted infection (STI) screening ✓ Family planning ✓ Blood pressure screening ✓ Genetic testing (optional)
If you’re in your 60s and older: ✓ Pap test and pelvic exam ✓ Routine blood tests and lipid screening ✓ Osteoporosis screening ✓ Skin cancer screening ✓ Cardiology screening
It’s important to take care of your health, and that starts with understanding your health risks and recommended screenings at each stage of life. Yearly visits are the best way to detect any changes in your health before they develop into bigger issues. We’re here to care for you.
(707) 468-1010 • IN UKIAH, WILLITS & LAKEPORT • We accept Medi-Cal, Medicare, Partnership and other insurance. • mchcinc.org
Savings wrapped in love Open a youth account today! Give your child a gift that keeps on giving long after the holiday season ends with a teen checking and savings account. Need a gift for someone younger—we also offer youth savings accounts too! Earn dividends on balances of at least $10
Access to free financial resources, games, and more
Debit card for teens with daily limits
Get started at redwoodcu.org/youth or call 1 (800) 479-7928 Federally insured by NCUA.
November 2023
Every Issue 6
Dear Reader
7
Cooking with Kids Sheet Pan Magic
10
8
Bits and Pieces Light Bright All Aboard for a Magical Christmas Run Away to the Circus
Features
Main Street Sweet Feast and Be Thankful
10 Let Books Come Alive How to celebrate National Children’s Book Week.
12 Native Knowledge Celebrate Native Americans with books, movies, and museums.
14 Bounce Back from Bad Grades What to do when bad grades strike.
16 Set The Table Three seasonal crafts to keep little hands busy.
College Bound
20 Calendar of Events One Cute Pup
29 Humor Break Automatic Enrollment
7
8 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife
November 2023
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Dear Reader
I Sharon Gowan Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us
t has begun! The holiday season is upon us, laden with all the coziness, joy, and the frenetic busyness that it brings.
We are here to help make your days just a bit easier. Flip to “Set the Table” (page 16) for kiddo-friendly seasonal craft projects, made with materials you probably already have around the house. Our articles on National Native American Heritage Month (page 12) and Children’s Book Week (page 10) will equip you to help your kids dive deeper into learning and celebrating. Finally, with all of the hustle and bustle, make time to brew a cup of tea for yourself and chuckle at “Automatic Enrollment” (page 29).
Please join me as I say a thank you of the deepest gratitude to our outgoing Features Editor, Melissa Chianta. Melissa has shepherded this magazine through so many changes over the past decade and she has always done it with grace and style. Thank you Melissa! Please welcome our new Features Editor, Tressa Eaton, into the role and feel free to reach out to her at featureseditorfamilylife@gmail.com with article ideas, questions, or comments. Whether you are celebrating Thanksgiving with friends or family, we hope it is a time of togetherness, love, and good food!
Marketing/ Sales/Events Patricia Ramos 707-205-1539 patty@family-life.us
Features Editor Tressa Eaton featureseditorfamilylife@gmail.com
Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us
Cover photo Deanna Willis, ddw photography ddwphotography.com
Contributing Writers Alexandra Adlawan America’s Test Kitchen Shannon Carpenter Tiffany Doerr Guerzon Cheryl Maguire Sean G. McCormick
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Publishing Office P.O. Box 351 Philo, CA 95466 (707) 205-1539
TRACK HABITS &
Set Goals live longer, better® 6 MendoLakeFamilyLife
November 2023
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Cooking with Kids
Sheet Pan Magic One pan and voilà, dinner is ready
By America’s Test Kitchen
T
hick-cut bone-in pork chops deliver the succulence of a larger roast but cook in just 10 to 15 minutes, making them perfect weeknight treats. They stand up to high heat and bold flavors, so it was natural to pair them with roasted root vegetables and to season everything well for a memorably flavor-packed meal. Roasting the chops on a rimmed baking sheet meant that there was plenty of room to cook our side at the same time. Since pork chops cook relatively quickly, we partially roasted the vegetables—a rustic mix of thick-sliced Yukon Gold potatoes, carrot spears, and fennel wedges—to give them a head start. For a bold hit of flavor, we tossed them with fresh rosemary and peeled whole garlic cloves, which turned deliciously creamy when roasted. Once the vegetables had softened and taken on some color, we added our pork chops, which we’d seasoned with pepper, salt, paprika, and coriander for a deeply flavored crust. Finally, we whisked together a simple parsley vinaigrette to drizzle over the pork, ensuring that our meal would end on an herbal note.
Used, with permission, from The Complete Autumn & Winter Cookbook (America’s Test Kitchen, 2021), americastestkitchen.com.
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Roasted Pork Chops and Vegetables with Parsley Vinaigrette Total Time: 1¼ hours Ingredients 1 pound Yukon Gold potatoes, unpeeled, halved lengthwise, and sliced crosswise ½ inch thick 1 pound carrots, peeled and cut into 3-inch lengths, thick ends quartered lengthwise 1 fennel bulb, stalks discarded, bulb halved, cored, and cut into ½-inch-thick wedges 10 garlic cloves, peeled 2 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary or ¾ teaspoon dried / cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided
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2¾ teaspoons kosher salt, divided 1½ teaspoons pepper, divided 1 teaspoon paprika 1 teaspoon ground coriander 4 (12-ounce) bone-in pork rib or center-cut chops, 1 to 1½ inches thick, trimmed 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley 4 teaspoons red wine vinegar 1 small shallot, minced / teaspoon sugar
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November 2023
1. Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 450 degrees. Toss potatoes, carrots, and fennel with garlic, rosemary, 1 tablespoon oil, 1½ teaspoons salt, and ¼ teaspoon pepper in bowl and spread in single layer on rimmed baking sheet. Roast until beginning to soften, about 25 minutes. 2. Combine 2 teaspoons salt, 1 teaspoon pepper, paprika, and coriander in bowl. Using sharp knife, cut 2 slits, about 2 inches apart, through fat on edge of each pork chop. Pat chops dry with paper towels, rub with 1 teaspoon oil, then sprinkle with spice mixture. 3. Arrange pork chops on top of vegetables and continue to roast until pork registers 145 degrees and vegetables are tender, 10 to 15 minutes, rotating sheet halfway through roasting. 4. Remove sheet from oven and let pork chops rest for 5 minutes. Whisk parsley, vinegar, shallot, sugar, remaining oil, remaining ¼ teaspoon salt, and remaining ¼ teaspoon pepper together in bowl. Drizzle vinaigrette over pork and vegetables. Serve. Serves: 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife 7
Bits & Pieces
Festival of Lights
Light Bright
B
Christmas Tree Train
ROXANNE PERKINS
e dazzled at the 13th annual Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens Festival of Lights. Each year the show is 100% original and lovingly handmade by the MCBG staff and volunteers who care for this 47 acre treasure. The gift shop will be open and there will be hot cocoa, apple cider, and treats to make the light-tastic visit extra sweet. The event takes place rain or shine every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from November 24 through December 17. The doors open at 5 p.m. and the last entry is at 7 p.m. If you want to take photos with Santa and supply him with your wish list, make sure to visit on November 26, December 3, or December 10. Adult tickets are $10 and anyone under the age of 16 enters for free. Purchase tickets and find more information at gardenbythesea.org/ calendar/festival-of-lights-2023.
All Aboard for a Magical Christmas
D
id you know that Santa rides the rails too? Board the historic Skunk Train in Willits for a 90-minute journey through some of the tallest trees on the planet and over scenic trestle bridges, while indulging in seasonal treats. The trip includes a visit to The World’s Largest Christmas Tree (an epic decorated Redwood), Mr. Skunk’s Magical Workshop, and a meet-and-greet photo opportunity with Santa. Rides begin on November 25 and run until December 31. Tickets are $10.95–59.95; dogs are $10.95; kids two and under ride free on a lap. Morning and afternoon trips available; make reservations at skunktrain.com.
Run Away to the Circus
C
irque de Bohème is an old-fashioned circus based on the French tradition of the 1920s. Every performance intertwines theater, acrobatics, clowning, and music together under a charming tent. A magical world filled with enchantment, adventure, and wonder awaits. The troop presents the all-new winter 2023 circus holiday spectacle, Consolamentum, at Cornerstone Sonoma on November 24, 25, 26 and Saturdays and Sundays in December with three shows a day presented at 1 p.m., 3 p.m., and 5 p.m. A portion of ticket sales will benefit The Sonoma Valley Mentoring Alliance. Purchase tickets, $30 for kids 15 and younger, and $40 for adults at cirquedeboheme.com. 8 MendoLakeFamilyLife
Cirque de Bohème
November 2023
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Lakeport Dickens Festival
Main Street Sweet
T
he annual Lakeport Dickens Festival has something for everyone: tons of food vendors, a pet parade, crafts, cookie decorating, a sledding hill for kiddos, live entertainment, and lots of opportunities to shop for that perfect gift. To top it all off, stay until the end of the day for the lighting of the giant Christmas tree at 5:30 p.m. Join in on the festive fun on Saturday, November 25 starting at 11 a.m. More details are available at lakeportmainstreet.com.
Feast and Be Thankful
R
edwood Community Services Harbor Youth Resource Center in Lakeport is putting on their annual busy and bustling Thankfulness Feast. This free, traditional feast is for youth (ages 15–25) and their families. Herb-roasted turkey, sweet ham, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, candied yams, pumpkin pie, and so much more will all be available to-go. Stop by on November 16 from 2–5 p.m. to pick up your feast and enjoy this community building event. Find more details on the feast at redwoodcommunityservices.org.
hankfulness Feast
College Bound
A
pplying to college is a marathon, not a sprint, so both parents and students should pace themselves. Access free guidance to help you on your journey at the Willits Branch Library. The class will be one in a series to help high schoolers understand the terminology, process, and resources available when it comes to applying for college. The class will be held in the Willits Branch Library meeting room on November 10 from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. All high school students and their parents are welcome. Light refreshments will be served. Learn more at mendolibrary.org/ events/library-calendar.
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
November 2023
MendoLakeFamilyLife 9
Let Books Come Alive
5 Ways to Celebrate National Children’s Book Week
C
By Alexandra Adlawan
hildren’s Book Week (November 6-12) is a great time to celebrate the amazing characters that allow children to encounter new perspectives, make them feel less lonely, empower them, let them feel a myriad of emotions, or to simply take them on new and exciting adventures. This year’s slogan is Read Books. Spark Change. Books can spark change within an individual reader, a family, a classroom, or even a whole community.
10 MendoLakeFamilyLife
Here are 5 great ways that you and your children can celebrate the fabulous characters created by so many talented authors during Children’s Book Week. November 2023
1
Have your child dress up as their favorite book character. This does not need to be elaborate or entail purchasing anything. Simply recreate the character’s dress as best as your costume box (or closet) allows. Children love to emulate the dress and mannerisms of people they admire. Then let them tromp around town all day dressed like this.
2
Have a book swap with other children from school, play group, daycare, or the neighborhood. Encourage each child to bring their favorite book (of the moment) from their personal library, the school, or the local library and put all of these in a box. Have each child pull out a new book to take home and read. Get together again to return everyone’s book and let the kids talk about the characters. Did they like them? Relate to them? www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Celebrating
3
Write a letter to a favorite author. Writing letters also helps young readers learn the format for letter writing, practice writing their own address and feel quite “sophisticated” as they take the letter to the nearest post office. Sometimes they even get a reply!
4
Act out a scene from a favorite book. Find props around the house and recruit siblings or friends to play parts. For the truly creative book lover, scenery is fun to create. And you can always bring out those costumes they created earlier to make it an official play. Off, Off, WAY Off Broadway here they come.
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5
Create a life-sized favorite character from a book. Get a roll of printer’s paper. Trace your child’s form and then have them add clothes, hair, and accessories for a favorite character. These can hang in your child’s room later.
Here’s to the characters that help our children grow, learn, and relate. Here’s to the characters that are strong, funny, sad, beautiful, unwieldy, loud, quiet, young, and old. They are the magic that creates life-long readers, and also decent humans. And here’s to National Children’s Book Week, to celebrate the many books in which these characters live! ❖ Alexandra Adlawan is a writer and illustrator from Long Beach, CA. Her children’s book series includes, The Adventures of Maddie and Albert, Wild Imagination, How I Spent My Summer Vacation, Flying the Imaginary Skies, and Backyard Jungle.
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November 2023
MendoLakeFamilyLife 11
The Sonoma County Library system has relevant book reading lists broken down by age group as well as in Spanish. Find them here. A Sonoma County Library Card also grants you access to both the Lake County Native American Collection and the Mendocino First American Collection.
Native Knowledge How to Help Your Kid Learn About Native Americans
By Cheryl Maguire
N
ovember is National American Indian Heritage Month. During this time national parks, libraries, and schools celebrate the culture and history of indigenous peoples. There are currently 109 federally recognized Tribal Nations in California, including those of the Pomo, Miwok, and Wappo tribes spread throughout Sonoma, Lake, and Mendocino Counties. Here are some ways you can help your child celebrate, learn, and pay tribute to the rich ancestry and traditions of Native Americans.
Read a Book “The best way to learn more about Indigenous people and their culture is to read works written by Indigenous authors,” says Laura Arnhold, the library director of Upper Merion Public Library in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. “Teaching children about land acknowledgment is a great first step in understanding the history of the place we live. These are only a few of the many titles written by Indigenous authors that are available to readers,” says Arnhold. She 12 MendoLakeFamilyLife
especially recommends the following books for young readers: My Heart Fills with Happiness by Monique Gray Smith We Are Water Protectors by Carole Lindstrom Fry Bread: A Native American Family Story by Kevin Noble Maillard Bowwow Powwow by Brenda J. Child We Are Still Here!: Native American Truths Everyone Should Know by Traci Sorrell
November 2023
Watch a TV Show or a Movie Spirit Rangers: Native American siblings Kodi, Summer, and Eddy are secret Spirit Rangers who help protect the national park they call home. Find it on Netflix.
The best way to learn more about Indigenous people and their culture is to read works written by Indigenous authors. Brother Bear: This Disney musical follows an Alaskan Inuit boy named Kenai. After killing a bear, Kenai is turned into a bear himself as punishment by the Spirits. In order to be human again, Kenai must travel to a mountain where the Northern lights touch the earth. Find it on Disney+, Amazon Prime Video, and others. Molly of Denali: Join Molly, an Alaska Native girl on her adventures in epically beautiful Alaska, in this animated show designed for kids age 4 to 8. Along the way, Molly’s life is enhanced, kept on track, and flat-out saved by maps, guide books, websites, weather reports, and more. Find it on PBS. Access Online Resources Lindsay Hamlin, education coordinator of the Chester County History Center in West Chester, Pennsylvania suggests that students www.mendolakefamilylife.com
explore the world around them. “Indigenous culture is heavily influenced by the natural world and a lot of the geographical names that we may see, like the Susquehanna River, have origins of indigenous language,” she says. She also recommends learning more about Native languages. “One resource I always love to highlight is the Lenape Talking Dictionary. Students can hear the pronunciation of each word. It’s a great way for students to experience part of the culture, especially since most of their history has been passed down through spoken word,” she says. Find more excellent online resources through the Native American Heritage Month website as well as the Smithsonian’s National Museum of the American Indian website.
Visit a Museum “Having students be able to connect the natural land back to the indigenous peoples and cultures that once resided here creates a lifelong connection, not just through history, but also through people and sense of place,” says Hamlin.
Help your child learn about the ancestry and traditions of Native Americans. Traditional Native American art makes up the greatest portion of the collection at the SRJC Multicultural Museum on the Santa Rosa Junior College campus, including ceramics, basketry, beadwork, sculpture, textiles, and jewelry.
Design Your Future Create Who You Want To Be
OPENINGS IN HIGH SCHOOL
In Lake County both the Historic Courthouse Museum and the Lower Lake Schoolhouse Museum showcase permanent exhibitions of Native artifacts and Pomo baskets. ❖ Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. You can find her on Twitter @ CherylMaguire05
A visit to a museum is a search for beauty, truth and meaning in our lives. GO TO MUSEUMS AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN. Maria Kalman
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Not Immunized? No Problem. La Vida Can Support You. La Vida 707-459-6344 Charter 11785 Orchard Lane, Willits lavidaschool.org School www.mendolakefamilylife.com
The Grace Hudson Museum in Ukiah showcases Pomo basket masterpieces and explains the steps taken in cultivating, harvesting, and processing materials for basket making. In addition, the museum’s Wild Gardens features native plants and exhibitions that teach about how Pomo Indian people managed the landscape and local regional ecosystems with environmental sustainability and cultural traditions.
Museums of Lake County museums.lakecountyca.gov
Courthouse Museum, 255 N. Main St., Lakeport, CA
November 2023
Schoolhouse Museum, 16435 Main St, Lower Lake, CA
Gibson Museum 21267 Calistoga Rd, Middletown, CA
MendoLakeFamilyLife 13
Parent: Hey [Child’s Name], do you have a moment? I’d like to talk to you about your recent grade in [Subject]. Is now a good time? Child: Sure, what’s up? Parent: First of all, I want you to know that a single grade doesn’t define you or your abilities. We all have areas where we can improve. What are your thoughts on this grade?
Bounce Back from Bad Grades How to Handle Bad Grades (and What to Do Next) ave you ever stared at your child’s
wondered, “What now?”
How can you, as a parent or educator, provide the support and guidance needed for your student to bounce back? Is a bad grade an obstacle, or can it be transformed into a valuable learning opportunity? What can a student do when they receive a “bad” grade? Receiving a “bad” grade isn’t the end of the world; it’s actually a learning opportunity to address skill gaps and improve. First, your student needs to assess why the grade was low-be it gaps in knowledge, study habits, or test-taking skills. 14 MendoLakeFamilyLife
Parent: I appreciate your honesty. Do you have any idea why you might have earned this grade? Was the material difficult or maybe you didn’t have enough time to prepare? Child: (Explains reasons) Parent: Thank you for sharing that. I think the key thing now is to identify ways you can improve. Have you thought about talking to your teacher for feedback? Child: (Answers)
By Sean G. McCormick
H less-than-stellar report card and
Child: (Shares feelings and thoughts)
They can schedule a meeting with their teacher to get specific feedback on areas for improvement, then use this feedback to identify their skill gaps, and then set focused, achievable goals to close those gaps. How to talk to your child about a low grade (script included) Confronting a low grade can be emotionally charged for both you and your child. However, in a calm and supportive setting, this moment can transform into a constructive learning opportunity. Choose a time and place where you both can focus without distractions. Maybe it’s a quiet corner of your home or perhaps during a calm afternoon drive. The idea is to create a setting where you both can speak freely and listen attentively. November 2023
Parent: That sounds like a good first step. How about we work on an action plan together? We can set some achievable goals and find the right resources to help you. Child: Sounds good. Parent: Great, and remember, everyone has setbacks. It’s how we handle them that defines us. Let’s use this as a learning opportunity. How does that sound? Child: Sounds good, thanks for helping me through this. Parent: You’re welcome. I’m here to support you every step of the way. If the Conversation Veers Off Script Recenter the Conversation If emotions run high, take a step back, www.mendolakefamilylife.com
and suggest taking a brief break before continuing. Active Listening If your child brings up unexpected concerns or feelings, listen actively and acknowledge them before redirecting the conversation.
When asking for feedback, be as specific as possible. GIVE YOUR CHILD a joy-
fulFlexible learning experience Be The script is a guideline, full of discovery with: not• a Exploration rulebook. Feel free to adapt your of own questions or responses interests & abilitiesbased on what • learning seemsExperiential most effective in the moment
Use the word “Earn” In your communication with your teacher, say you want to “earn” a better grade rather than “get” one. This small tweak in language signals that you’re committed to putting in the work needed to improve. Be Specific in Your Questions When asking for feedback, be as specific as possible. Knowing exactly what you need to work on will make your action plan more effective. For example, instead of asking the teacher, “What should I do?”, describe your plan of action and ask for feedback.
Follow Up After implementing your action plan, schedule a follow-up with field trips, arts Success tips for students meeting with your teacher to discuss • Respectful and caring when turning a bad grade into your progress. This not only shows learning community • Peace education and a learning opportunity but also allows you to Opencommitment House mindfulness make timely Wednesday, April 13adjustments to your plan. • Earth stewardship
Call for more information
If you find that your child consistently struggles with grades, organization, or focus, it may be beneficial to seek external support. Executive function coaching can offer tailored strategies and tools to help your child develop essential skills like time management, self-regulation, and effective study habits. Other Resources How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (The How To Talk Series) Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be ❖ Sean G. McCormick is the founder of Executive Function Specialists, an online coaching business that guides middle, high school, and college students in overcoming procrastination, disorganization and anxiety by teaching time management, prioritization and communication skills so they feel motivated, prepared, and empowered.
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November 2023
MendoLakeFamilyLife 15
Crafting with Kids
Set The Table Easy Crafts to Adorn Your Thanksgiving Table By Tiffany Doerr Guerzon
W
ith fall in the air, autumn crafts are a fun activity to do with kids. Best of all, the warm fall colors can grace your mantel or entryway in early November, then become part of your Thanksgiving tablescape at the end of the month.
Leaf Suncatcher This project is a great way to preserve those beautiful autumn leaves. Combine this activity with a nature walk to collect the most beautiful leaves you can find. Supplies: • Paper plate • Scissors • Clear contact paper • Hole punch • String • Pen • Colorful fall leaves (make sure they aren’t too dry or crumbly) Instructions: 1. Poke a hole near the inside rim of the paper plate and cut out the center of the plate, leaving the rim intact. If you use a white plate, kids can color or paint the rim. Or, skip that step and 16 MendoLakeFamilyLife
simply use a decorative paper plate in a fall color or pattern. 2. Trace around the outside of the rim onto the back of the contact paper and then cut out the circle of contact paper. Repeat so that you have two circles.
hole then tie the ends of the string together to make a hanging loop. Hang your creation in a window and enjoy!
3. Flip the plate over so that the back is up. Remove the paper backing from the contact paper and center the contact paper over the plate. Adhere the edges of the contact paper to the rim of the plate. Flip plate right side up again. 4. Allow kids to arrange fall leaves on the contact paper and press down to stick. 5. When the leaves are arranged to everyone’s satisfaction, adhere the other contact paper circle to the front of the suncatcher. 6. Use the hole punch to make a hole in the rim of the plate. Thread a length of yarn, ribbon, or twine through the November 2023
No-Sew Fabric Pumpkins These are not only easy to create, but make the perfect kid-crafted centerpiece. Choose a black and white palette for an elegant display, cute fall patterns for a whimsical look, or solid warm colors for a neutral arrangement. www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Supplies: • Fabric in fall patterns or colors. Cotton material works best. If buying fabric off of the bolt, purchase a quarter yard of each. You can also often find bundles of “fat quarters” in the quilting section of fabric stores. Fat quarters are simply a quarter yard of precut fabric. • Stuffing for your pumpkins. A polyester stuffing such as Poly Fil works well. • Toilet paper rolls, one per pumpkin • Scissors • Green pipe cleaners, one per pumpkin • 3 to 4-inch long sticks (from your yard is fine)
Instructions: 1. Lay fabric right side down on work surface. Trim fabric into a square shape. For a large pumpkin, you will need approximately 18 x 18 inches. Cut smaller squares for little pumpkins. You can eyeball this, it doesn’t need to be perfectly measured or even have straight edges, as the edges won’t show when the project is finished. 2. Place toilet paper roll upright in the center of the fabric square. 3. Place stuffing all the way around the toilet paper tube. Don’t worry about adding too much or too little stuffing, you can adjust the amount if needed later. 4. Holding the toilet paper roll with one hand, bring one corner of the
fabric up and tuck it into the inside of the tube. Repeat with the other three corners. Tuck in the rest of the fabric in the same way. If there isn’t enough fabric to tuck into the tube, remove some of your stuffing. Or, if your pumpkin isn’t plump enough, add some stuffing! Once all of the fabric edges are tucked into the tube and the pumpkin is stuffed to your liking, poke some stuffing into the top of the tube to hold the fabric in place. Put the stick inside the tube for a stem and then push the stuffing down into the tube so that it doesn’t show. 5. To make a vine, wrap a green pipe cleaner around the stick a couple of times, then curl the ends by wrapping the pipe cleaner around a pencil or your finger.
Are you at risk of losing your Medi-Cal Insurance?
WAIT!
DON’T THROW AWAY THAT LETTER FROM MEDI-CAL!
IT COULD BE IMPORTANT!
The special Covid Pandemic
Automatic-Renewal has ended, which means it’s up to you to to make sure you still qualify... So check your mail for Medi-Cal renewal notices!
Need help figuring it out? Call or visit your local Family Resource Center
See map & info in this issue! www.mendolakefamilylife.com
November 2023
MendoLakeFamilyLife 17
Instructions: 1. Use the rolling pin or your hands to press clay into ½ inch thickness on your work surface.
Clay Leaves These pretty leaf trays can be used as decor, to hold tealight candles, or even for rings or coins. Supplies: • Air dry clay • A shallow bowl, with a diameter about the same size or slightly smaller than your leaf.
• Large leaves. These must still be green, not crunchy. If it is too late for green leaves, you can use artificial leaves from the craft store. • Butter knife • Acrylic paints • Spatula Optional: • Rolling pin • Clear coat varnish such as Krylon
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Let the warm fall colors grace your home. 3. Once you have a good leaf impression, cut around the outline of the leaf with a butter knife. Remove the extra clay from around your cut out leaf and then pick up the clay leaf with a spatula (just like making cookies with a cookie cutter). 4. Place inside of the bowl, pressing the clay into the bowl gently so that the middle of the clay leaf sits on the bottom of the bowl, and the edges curve up with the sides of the bowl. This will help the leaf hold its bowl shape as it dries. 5. Allow to dry 24 hours, then remove clay leaf from the bowl, flip the bowl upside down, and place leaf (also upside down) on the upside down bowl to allow the back side of the leaf to dry. Allow another 24 hours drying time.
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6. Once the clay is completely dry, paint with acrylic paint. If desired, you can spray the completely dry clay leaf with a clear coat of varnish. ❖ Tiffany Doerr Guerzon is an award winning freelance writer who loves anything autumn.
1-800-606-5550 x211 ncoinc.org 18 MendoLakeFamilyLife
2. Place leaf in center of rolled out clay and press leaf gently into the clay. Be sure to make an impression of the outline of the leaf and the veins. You may have to try one or two times before you get it right. To try again, roll clay into a ball then flatten again.
November 2023
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November Calendar of Events One Cute Pup
C
COURTESY OF PEANUTS WORLDWIDE/APPLE TV+
elebrate the 50th anniversary of the animated classic, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving at the Charles M. Schulz Museum and Research Center in Santa Rosa. Emulate Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Woodstock, and Linus in the film and create your own meal with popcorn, pretzels, jellybeans, and toast. Make a Snoopy chef’s hat, collage thank you cards, and watch the movie on the big screen. All special events are included with museum admission; $12 for adults; $5 for children ages 4–18; free for kids 3 and under. Bring food items to donate to Redwood Empire Food Bank and receive one free child’s admission. The event takes place on November 18 from 1–4 p.m. Get more details at schulzmuseum.org.
Calvary Chapel Willits Presents
A walkthrough drama that is sure to change your life
FREE SHOWINGS EVERY 20 MINS BETWEEN 2PM-8PM
11.11.2023 20 MendoLakeFamilyLife
145 Wood St. Willits November 2023
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Wednesday 1 FREE Shade Canyon Playgroup.
Open to all families, for ages 5 & younger. Waldorf-style story, crafts, or nature walk. Held first & third Wednesdays of each month, rain or shine. Nov. 1 & 15: 10–11:30 a.m. Peace & Plenty Farm. 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. shadecanyon.org. FREE New Satellite Mendocino Coast Children’s Fund Family Resource Center location. Classes,
workshops & computers available. Wednesdays. 8–10 a.m. Community Center of Mendocino. 998 School St., Mendocino. tinyurl.com/44m9p8u5. FREE Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Group.
Facilitator-led support group for talking & sharing ideas & experiences. Wednesdays. 11 a.m.–1 p.m. Mendocino Coast Children’s Fund Family Resource Center. 200 E. Redwood St. (corner of Franklin St.), Fort Bragg. tinyurl.com/ yc67sxr5.
Circle time at Mendo LEAP. Weekly
FREE Nintendo Switch Playtime.
themed dances, songs & stories designed for 0–5 years old. Included in 2-hour general play admission. $15/ child. Membership options available. Every Tuesday & Wednesday. 10–11 a.m. Mendo Leap. 203 S. State St., Ukiah. mendoleap.com.
Includes Mario Kart, Smash Brothers, & more. Nov. 1, 8 & 22: 3–4:30 p.m. Middletown Library. 21256 Washington St., Middletown. Other libraries will host this event as well: See lakecountyca.gov for branches/times.
Cirque de Bohème
A n o l d s t y l e C i rc u s ba s e d o n t h e F re n c h t ra d i t i o n o f t h e 19 2 0 ` s
presents
T h e N e w W i n t e r 2 02 3 C i rc u s H o l i d ay S p ec t a c l e
Consolamentum
Corners to ne 23570 Arnold Dr. Sonoma. Calif or nia
Youth Wrestling Club Season Sign-ups. Sponsored by the
Mendocino County Sheriff’s Activity League. New & returning wrestlers need to register. Ages 5 & up. Sport physical fee: $20. Sign-Up: 5–7 p.m. Practice days: Wednesdays & Thursdays. 5–7 p.m. 22751 Bray Rd., Willits. tinyurl.com/y5hnb6t4.
Tickets on s ale www.cirquedeboheme.com www.corners tonesonoma.com
FREE Queer & Trans Parent Online
$40 Adults. $30 Kids (15 or Younger)
Support Group. Open to queer/
transpeople who are expecting, adopting &/or parenting babies up to 2 years of age. Wednesdays. 11:30 a.m. postpartum.net/get-help/ queer-parents.
N o ve mb e r 24, 25, 26 D ec e m b e r 2, 3, 9, 10, 16, 17, 23, 24 S h o ws D a i l y a t 1 p m. 3 p m. 5 p m . A portion of all ticket sales to benefit The Sonoma Valley Mentoring Alliance
2013-2023
Join us to celebrate together the tenth anniversary of the Cirque de Bohème coming to Cornerstone Sonoma!
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
November 2023
MendoLakeFamilyLife 21
Thursday 2 FREE Open Mic Poetry & Virtual Poetry Reading. Presented by the
Mendocino Public Library and hosted by Branch librarian, Dan Hess. 7–8 p.m. Fort Bragg Library Community Room. 499 E. Laurel St. Fort Bragg or via Zoom link email
hessd@mendocinocounty.org. tinyurl. com/j24tce7s.
Friday 3 9 to 5: The Musical. Based on the 1980 film, music and lyrics by Dolly Parton. $30. Nov. 3–4, 10–11: 7 p.m. Nov. 5 & 12: 2 p.m. Soper Reese
Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. soperreesetheatre.com/events. Friday Family Skate Night. Parent or guardian must sign for kids younger than 18. $5. Nov. 3 & 10: 6–8 p.m. Harwood Hall. 44400 Willis Ave., Laytonville. tinyurl.com/5b3p56ar. FREE Maker’s Faire & Open Mic.
Local artisans & crafters sell their work on First Fridays in Nov, Dec & Jan. Open Mic: 5:30 p.m. Bring your own instruments. 5–8:30 p.m. Middletown Art Center. 21456 Hwy. 175 & junction of Hwy. 29. middletownartcenter.org/events. FREE Press Play! Music-themed
printmaking show, see the sounds 34 artists created in linocut prints & monoprints. Live music, free wine & light refreshments. Donations suggested. Thursdays–Mondays. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Runs thru Nov. 27. Mendocino Art Center. 42500 Little Lake St., Mendocino. mendocinoartcenter.org. FREE Mother’s Talking Circle & Family Spirit. Mothers come together
for support & access to information such as family planning, prenatal & infant care, & integrating cultural family living. Fridays. Noon–1 p.m. CTHP Wellness Center. 6991 N. State St. Redwood Valley or via Zoom: us06web.zoom.us/j/81981267068. cthp. org/events.
Saturday 4 FREE Coast Community Fall Harvest Celebration. Activities
include face-painting and crafting tables to create a fruit harvest garland, a harvest dolly, & a mini cornucopia. All ages welcome. 10 a.m.–3:30 p.m.
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Point Arena Library. 225 Main St., Point Arena. mendolibrary.org/events. AV Annual Chili Cook-off. Beer,
margaritas, raffles, prizes & more. Chili tasting tickets: $15. 4–7 p.m. Anderson Valley Senior Center. 14470 Hwy. 128, Boonville. Call 707-895-3609 or avseniorcenter. blogspot.com.
Sunday 5 FREE Family Fun at Alex Rorabaugh Recreation Center.
Open gym. An adult must accompany kids younger than 12. Activities for the whole family. Sundays: noon–4 p.m. Fridays (indoor soccer only): 4–8 p.m. Alex Rorabaugh Recreation Center. 1640 S. State St. Ukiah. cityofukiah.com. FREE First Fiddlers’ Jam. Listen to fiddle tunes played by members of the Northern California Old Time Fiddlers Association. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Stage Stop & Country Museum. 9921 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. Elystagestop.com. Santa Rosa Doll Show & Sale.
Antique, vintage, modern & miniature dolls. $6. Ages 12 & younger free when accompanied by an adult. Free parking. 10 a.m.–3:30 p.m. Santa Rosa Veterans Hall. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. santarosadollshow.blogspot.com. FREE Fall Festival. Tickets for
purchase for a wide variety of activities, face painting, dunk booth, jump house & snacks. Noon–4 p.m. Ukiah Jr. Academy. 180 Stipp Lane, Ukiah. myuja.org.
Monday 6
of 5–8 people who walk together at least once a week. Mondays. 12:30–1:20 p.m. Runs thru Nov. 27th. Mendocino College. Pomo Plaza. 1000 Hensley Creek Rd. Ukiah. tinyurl.com/2crerr4w.
Tuesday 7 FREE All Together Playgroup. Arts & crafts, free play, & a healthy snack for ages 0–5. Bilingual. Tuesdays. 9:30–11 a.m. Alex Rorabaugh Recreation Center. 1640 S. State St. Room H-11. Ukiah. 707-462-1233 or tinyurl.com/3ehe4acx.
Lakeport Presents The Dickens FESTIVAL Shopping--Food Entertainment Pet Parade & Santa
Tree Lighting Ceremony
Saturday
NOVEMBER 25TH 11am - 530pm
Downtown Main Street Sponsored by: Guerrero Bros Auto Body Lakeport Main Street Association For More Info go to www.lakeportmainstreet.com
FREE The Blue Zone Project Walking Moai. A moai is a group
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
November 2023
MendoLakeFamilyLife 23
Flu, COVID-19 and RSV Season is Here (Respiratory Syncitial Virus)
Fall is upon us and that means so are respiratory viruses.
Protect yourself and those around you... • VACCINATE against the Flu, COVID-19 and RSV • MASK indoors • WASH your hands • OPEN WINDOWS
If you are sick... • Stay home, and test for COVID-19 • If the test is positive, ask your provider for treatments • Stay hydrated • Call your provider right away if symptoms are severe or worsen
& begin child's journey to school success! ApplyApply todaytoday & begin your your child's journey to school success! Find out how we keep children and families safe by reviewing our
Receive a $16,000 education forGuidelines your child little no cost. Receive a $16,000 education forSafety your child at or noor cost. COVID-19 Health and onlittle ourat website.
C E N T E R S
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C E N T E R S
• Nurturing classroom experiences for Nurturing classroom experiences Nurturing classroom experiences children 3 months to 5 years for children 3 months to old. 5old. years old. for children 3 months to 5 years • We do not require children to be pottyPotty-training assistance provided. Potty-training provided. trained.assistance We will help! Children with disabilities welcome. Children with disabilities welcome. • Children with disabilities welcome. Accepting applications year-round. • Accepting applications year-round. Accepting applications year-round.
Also providing unique home Also providing unique home visits forvisits for infants, toddlers & pregnant infants, toddlers & pregnant women!women!
North Ukiah - Bush St. Nokomis - Washington Ave. Nokomis - Washington Ave. Ukiah South UkiahSouth - S. State St. - S. State St. Tree -Ave. S. Orchard Ave. Peach Tree -Peach S. Orchard
Willits Willits
NearSchool Brookside Near Brookside at School at & Lincoln Way Spruce St. &Spruce LincolnSt. Way
County Lake Lake County
Apply Apply Do you have questions? Email: Lake - 2nd Street Upper Lake Upper - 2nd Street EnrollHeadStart@ncoinc.org LakeportBlvd. - Lakeport Blvd. Lakeport - Lakeport Now! Now! Empowering and families to Empowering children children and families to reach their potential! highest potential! reach their highest
Clearlake Clearlake - Pearl Ave. - Pearl Ave. Clearlake - Meadowbrook Dr. Clearlake - Meadowbrook Dr.
Coast Coast
Bragg Fort Bragg - Fort Lincoln St. - Lincoln St.
Applications online: www.ncoheadstart.org •(707) (707)462-2582 462-2582 or 1-(800) 326-3122 326-3122 Applications online: www.ncoinc.org 1-(800) Applications online: www.ncoinc.org (707) 462-2582 or 1-(800)or 326-3122 24 MendoLakeFamilyLife
November 2023
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
FREE Game On! Family Game Time.
FREE Anderson Marsh Guided
Chamber Music Concert Series.
All ages. Play boardgames, card games & chess. Feel free to bring games from home. Tuesdays. 2–4 p.m. Lake County Library. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport. Other libraries will host this event as well: See lakecountyca.gov/ calendar.aspx for branches/times.
Nature Walk. Walks are 1.5-3 hours long, depending on route. Held second Saturday of each month. 8:30 a.m. Anderson Marsh State Historical Park. Anderson Ranch Pkwy. Lower Lake. andersonmarsh.org.
Lift Every Voice: A Celebration of Black Voices in Art Song features Michele Kennedy, Soprano & Henry Lebedinsky, Pianist. $40–$45. 4 p.m. Gualala Arts Center. 46501 Old State Hwy. Gualala. gualalaarts.org/ category/events.
Wednesday 8 FREE Walk Through the Grades Tour. Peek into Waldorf classrooms
from preschool through Grade 12. Check out the campus & working biodynamic farm. Adults only. 9–11 a.m. Summerfield Waldorf School & Farm. 655 Willowside Rd. Santa Rosa. Register: summerfieldwaldorf.org.
Friday 10 FREE So You Want to Go to College.
One in a series of classes to help high schoolers understand the terminology, process, and resources available when it comes to applying for college. 4:30–5:30 p.m. Willits Library. 390 E. Commercial St., Willits. mendolibrary. org/events/library-calendar. FREE Veterans Day at the Museum.
Enjoy free admission all day to the Schulz Museum and special activities in honor of Veterans everywhere. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. tinyurl.com/bd3vwsna.
Saturday 11 FREE Build It! Kids ages 2-8 have
the opportunity to build with a variety of toys. Held the second Saturday of each month, following 11 a.m. storytime. 11:30 a.m.–noon. Round Valley Branch Library. 23925 Howard St., Covelo. mendolibrary.org/events/ library-calendar. www.mendolakefamilylife.com
November 2023
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Sunday 12 Sips, Eats & Sweets. A dessert
and savory tasting competition and silent auction with proceeds to benefit CASA of Mendocino & Lake Counties. $30–$40. 21 & over only. 3–5:30 p.m. BARRA of Mendocino Winery. 7051 N. State St., Redwood Valley. Call 707-489-7231 for tickets or tinyurl.com/2p96s366. Caspar Fall Fundraiser. Annual
Harvest dinner (vegan & gluten-free options available) & silent auction. $65. 6 p.m. Caspar Community Center. 15051 Caspar Rd., Caspar casparcommons.org/buytix.php. Opus Chamber Music Concert.
Performance by pianist, Konrad Binienda. $25. 3 p.m. Preston
26 MendoLakeFamilyLife
Hall. 44867 Main St., Mendocino. symphonyoftheredwoods.org.
Wednesday 15 FREE Shadow & Walk the High School Tour. Prospective students
shadow for the day while parents tour the school. Tour 8–9:30 a.m. Shadow 8 a.m.–3 p.m. Summerfield Waldorf School & Farm. 655 Willowside Rd. Santa Rosa. Register: summerfieldwaldorf.org. FREE Annual United States Flag Lowering. Event will include the
Lower Lake High School Choir & the Veteran Color Guard. 11 a.m. Austin Park. 14077 Lakeshore Dr., Clearlake. tinyurl.com/2p9y54cs. FREE Family Support Group. One
of four separate monthly drop-in
November 2023
support groups for grief and loss support for community members of all ages in Lakeport and Clearlake. Held 3rd Wednesday of each month. 5–7 p.m Hospice Services of Lake County Bereavement Center. 1862 Parallel Dr., Lakeport. lakecountyhospice.org/events.
Thursday 16 FREE Harbor Youth Resource Center Annual Thankfulness Feast.
Traditional Feast to-go for ages 15–25. 2–5 p.m. RCS Harbor Youth Resource Center. 150 S. Main St., Lakeport. 707-994-5486 or tinyurl.com/52dtfaf8. Contours & Rhythms: Mendocino College Dance Department Fall Performances. Family-friendly. Live music will accompany the performers. $10–$15. Nov. 16–18: 7:30 p.m. Nov.
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
19: 2 p.m. Mendocino College Center Theatre. 1000 Hensley Creek Rd. Ukiah. tinyurl.com/ksrw2a3y.
Theatre. 1041 Low Gap Rd. Ukiah. ukiahplayerstheatre.org/box-office.
FREE Art for Recovery Collage
Tyme Holiday Faire. The Faire
Workshop. Those in recovery & those affected by substance abuse are welcome to engage in a free art workshop. Hosted by Deep Valley Arts Collective. 6 p.m. Medium Art Gallery. 522 E. Perkins St., Ukiah. tinyurl.com/5hfpjeaj.
highlights 82 local and regional artists of crafts, artwork, holiday pieces & gourmet foods. Nov. 17 & 18: 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Nov. 19: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Parking $5. Free parking: Nov. 17 only. Napa Valley Expo. 575 Third St., Napa. tinyurl.com/deu5swnv.
FREE Dungeons & Dragons Club.
Casual gaming club for ages 13 and up. 10 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. Other libraries will host this event as well: See lakecountyca. gov/calendar.aspx for branches/ times.
FREE 49th Annual Napa Gifts ‘N
Friday 17
Saturday 18
Something Rotten! Two brothers set
Symphony of the Redwoods Fall
out to write the world’s first musical in a mash-up of sixteenth-century Shakespeare & twenty-first-century Broadway. $12–$25. Nov. 17–18 & 24–25: 7 p.m. Nov. 19 & 26: 2 p.m. Through Dec. 10. Ukiah Players
Concert. Featuring the works of Mozart, Joaquin Rodrigo, Samuel Barber & Jeff Ives (world premiere piece). $25. Children 18 & under are free. Nov. 18: 7:30 p.m. Nov. 19: 2 p.m. Cotton Auditorium. 500 N. Harold St. Fort Bragg. tinyurl.com/aafjyfj8.
Fall Symphony: Classical Favorites.
Performance by Lake County Symphony. The L.C. Community & Youth Orchestra will perform at the beginning of the concert. Concert: 2–5 p.m. $25–$30. Open Rehearsal: 11 a.m. $5. Free for ages 18 & under. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. soperreesetheatre.com.
MENDO
Ukiah Junior Academy
Fall Festival 2023
LEAP DISCOVERY MUSEUM
Join us! November 5 12:00 pm - 4:00 pm 180 Stipp Lane Ukiah, CA 95482
Sunday 19
WWW.MENDOLEAP.COM Located in DOWNTOWN UKIAH Providing Inclusive space for children of all ages and abilities to LEAP: Learn, Explore and Adapt through the art of Play.
Clean & Climate Controlled!
Come One! Come ALL! We are very excited to invite you to our annual UJA Fall Festival FUNdraising event! This is a wonderful event for not only our students, but also for our friends, families, and community members to come and enjoy the fun! Tickets will be available to purchase in order to buy food, drinks, crafts, play games, and do activities. We will also be having a pie auction and silent auction! We can’t wait to see you all there! 707.462.6350 707.462.6350
https://www.myuja.org/
www.mendolakefamilylife.com
office@myuja.org
All ages and abilities! *Perfect for Infants-12yo
*NEW*UNLIMITED PLAY
MEMBERSHIPS Admission bundles 2 free adults per child
2hr Admission $15/child Maker Space for Arts and Crafts! *Perfect for 8yo-teens!
November 2023
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Friday 24 Festival of Lights. Gardens illuminated with holiday lights. Ages 16 & under: free. Adults: $10. Fridays–Sundays, 5–7 p.m. Through Dec. 17. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Highway 1, Fort Bragg. gardenbythesea.org/calendar/ festival-of-lights-2023.
Saturday 25 FREE Dickens Festival. Food vendors, artisans, pet parade, live music, kids crafts & more. 11 a.m.–5:30 p.m. Tree lighting: 5:30 p.m. Downtown Lakeport. lakeportmainstreet.com. Magical Christmas Train. Featuring the World’s Largest Christmas Tree & visits with Santa. 90-minute
round-trip. $10.95–$59.95. Kids 2 and under ride free on a lap. Nov. 25: 10:30 a.m., 1:30 & 4:30 p.m. Nov. 26: 10:30 a.m. & 1:30 p.m. Runs through Dec. 31. 299 E. Commercial St., Willits. Skunktrain.com. FREE Historic Planes Display.
Stroll amongst historic airplanes. Held 4th Saturday of each month. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Lampson Field Airport. Highland Springs Rd. Kelseyville. lakecochamber.com.
Sunday 26 FREE Winter Celebration on the Farm. Refreshments, farm gifts &
goodies, including saffron, available for purchase. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Peace & Plenty Farm. 4550 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville. peaceplentyfarm.com.
Monday 27 FREE Live, Work, Play: Public Input Community Session. A shared
vision for restoration after severe wildfires. Bring the kids for activities & meet Smokey Bear. No registration is required. 5–7:30 p.m. Robinson Rancheria. 1545 Hwy. 20, Nice. tinyurl.com/yhzt4ytj.
Thursday 30 Family Night at Mendo LEAP.
Gather for a pizza meal, discussion, & play time! Extra staff available in the play area to ensure safe play while the adults meet. Held last Thursday of each month. $35/family. 5:15–7:30 p.m. Mendo Leap. 203 S. State St., Ukiah. mendoleap.com.
YEARS Celebrating
YEARS as the #1 resource for local families magazine • web • email • events 28 MendoLakeFamilyLife
November 2023
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Humor Break main benefit we offer when socializing with other parents is to ensure you know that you are always doing something wrong. You’ll be a hit at parties you never go to. With the Parenthood Subscription, all your cool new parenting friends are in bed by eight.
Automatic Enrollment Thank You For Enrolling In Parenthood! By Shannon Carpenter
T
hank you so much for signing up for the Parenthood Subscription service! Subscription fees will be automatically deducted from your bank account every month and then triple in November and December. Celebrate the holidays with debt!
To get the absolute best experience with your child(ren), please read carefully. Included with this introductory letter is the user manual for your child(ren). This 42-page booklet is actually blank because there are no instructions. We hope that this enhances your user experience. There are a few benefits and options we wish to point out that will get you excited about your Parenthood Subscription. Your subscription comes fully equipped with constant worry and stress. Every burp, hiccup, or www.mendolakefamilylife.com
sneeze will now cause a panic attack. With Parenthood, your anxiety is our goal! Also, please note the copious amounts of poop you will deal with, at no extra cost to you! Most models also come with puke, pee, and the occasional dangling snot river. Craft time has never been so amazing. Bedazzle every piece of clothing you own! Further, all of our subscription packages contain LOUD NOISES yelled for no reason. Interrupt countless hours of pointless sleep with the patented “wail in the middle of the night.” Enjoy quiet evenings shattered by one of our models asking “when’s dinner?” for the five-hundredth time. As time moves on, take your Parenthood Subscription to the next level. Get social! Enjoy the constant judgment of others. Remember the November 2023
As a part of your renewal at the end of the year, we’ll send you a holiday card filled with an alphabetized list of all the things other people said you messed up. For a small convenience
There are no instructions! fee that is not optional, we’ll include special thoughts on this topic from your Mother-In-Law! This is the type of quality service you get with Parenthood! In the end, there are many varied experiences to be explored with your Parenthood Subscription. Most notably, your ability to forget how hard it was and end up crying in a puddle of your own sadness when they finally leave home (College Not Included.) We know, it’s not fair. But it doesn’t have to be the end! Continue your Parenthood Subscription by buying the Grandparents Option. Just use the code “When are you going to give me grandbabies?!” Thank you for enduring Parenthood. And remember: Live, Laugh, Love the vision of yourself that you used to be. Shannon Carpenter is a professional humorist and the author of The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad manual (Penguin, 2021).
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