Mendo Lake Family Life October 2021

mendo lake FREE!

October 2021

Trickor-Treat Local festivities

Financial Literacy Kids & credit

Shots for Tots Vaccine tips Bullies Beware Protect kids

We want to protect you and your loved ones

THAT’S WHY WE URGE YOU TO GET YOUR COVID-19 VACCINE. Vaccines are available at all four MCHC sites. Call for an appointment.

(707) 468-1010 IN UKIAH, LAKEPORT AND WILLITS WE ACCEPT MEDI-CAL, MEDICARE, PARTNERSHIP AND OTHER INSURANCE. SE HABLA ESPAÑOL.

MCHCINC.ORG – MCHC HEALTH CENTERS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY PROVIDER AND EMPLOYER.

October 2021

Every Issue 6

Dear Reader

7

Cooking with Kids Sweet Magic

10 Features 10 Homeschool Happiness The benefits of taking your child’s education into your own hands.

12 Shots for Tots How to help kids manage vaccination stress.

14 I Owe, I Owe Raising financially literate kids means teaching them about debt.

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Bits and Pieces The Jack-O-Lantern Rail Get Free Health Screenings All Hail the Pumpkin!

16 Beware of Bullies Strategies for keeping your kids safe online.

18 Losing a Baby Nonprofit raises awareness about pregnancy-loss grief.

20 Trick-or-Treat Film Feast

Party Like It’s 1795

9

Costumes & Candy Bard Mania

22 Calendar of Events Local Halloween festivities.

26 Humor Break A Guide to the Terrible Twos

Great picks for an at-home Halloween.

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October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Dear Reader

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all fun is here!

Will you go out or stay in for Halloween this year? Either way, we’ve got you covered.

Sharon Gowan For homebodies, Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us “Trick-or-Treat Film Feast” (page 20) lists not-too-scary flicks for all ages; and for extraverts, our Calendar of Events (page 22) boasts a whole host of in-person festivities. Looking for treats to make with the kids? Check out “Sweet Magic” (page 7) for directions on how to whip up sliced caramel apples—with a nod to Hogwarts and Harry Potter.

Benioff Children’s Hospital’s tips for helping little ones manage the anxiety and discomfort of vaccinations.

Online threats, vaccine worries—yup, parenting is stressful. Mom-humorist Jessica Guerrieri is all about using laughter to get through the day. Turn to her “A Guide to the Terrible Twos” (page 26) for humor only a parent would understand.

Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Ah, if only we could be in celebration mode all the time. But, unfortunately, life intervenes with its challenges. For instance, no one enjoys getting jabbed at the doctor’s office, especially kids.

“Shots for Tots” (page 12) offers UCSF

Happy Halloween!

Alana Al-Hatlani Liz Anderson Jessica Guerrieri Tanni Haas Christina Katz Ann Lloyd Kerrie McLoughlin

Another parenting challenge? Cyber attacks on children. Gone are the days when kids only had to deal with bullies at school. Now they have to fend off ne’er-do-wells online, too. “Beware of Bullies” (page 16) lists ways parents can protect children from digital menaces.

DID YOU KNOW?

Office Manager/ Business Marketing Patricia Ramos 707-205-1539 patty@family-life.us

Features Editor

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Contributing Writers

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

Publishing Office P.O. Box 351 Philo, CA 95466 (707) 205 1539

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October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Cooking with Kids

Sweet Magic Halloween Treats for Potterheads

By Alana Al-Hatlani

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aramel apples are an iconic fall treat, so it’s no wonder the students at the castle enjoy these around Halloween and during the Halloween feast (along with lots of candy, of course).

This recipe is for caramel apple slices, which are much easier to eat than a whole, cumbersome caramel apple. Plus, they are extremely portable, which comes in handy when you suddenly have to evacuate dinner due to a troll in the dungeon! ¶

Caramel Apple Slices Yield: 2 servings Cook time: 10 minutes 1 green or red apple, cored, cut into 16 slices 16 caramel square candies or 1 cup chocolate chips 1 tablespoon heavy whipping cream toppings of choice, like chocolate chips, sprinkles, or chopped nuts (optional)

Excerpted from The Unofficial Hogwarts Cookbook for Kids

by Alana Al-Hatlani. Copyright © 2021 Ulysses Press. Reprinted with permission from Ulysses Press. New York, NY. All rights reserved.

16 toothpicks or lollipop sticks

Alana Al-Hatlani is a baker by morning and a food writer by night. Her writing has appeared in Saveur, the Eater, and the Independent.

She started baking as soon as she could reach the counter with a step stool and hasn’t left the kitchen since. She holds a BA in journalism from New York University and a pastry degree from Seattle Culinary Academy. To see more of her baking or writing, go to alanaalhatlani.com.

3. Melt in 30-second increments, stirring the mixture in between, until the caramels or chocolate chips are completely melted. Set aside.

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1. Prep the apples by sticking one toothpick or lollipop stick into each slice.

2. Place the caramels or chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl. If using caramels, add 1 tablespoon of heavy whipping cream. Use 2 different bowls if you want to dip your apples in caramel and chocolate.

4. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

5. Carefully, as the mixture will be hot, dip each slice halfway up in caramel and lay flat on the baking sheet to set.

6. Add the toppings, if using, while the caramel is still setting.

October 2021

MendoLakeFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces

Pumpkin Express

The Jack-O-Lantern Rail

M

ost folks drive to a pumpkin patch, or, if they are lucky, perhaps orange gourds grow in their backyards. But the passengers of the Pumpkin Express are trying something different. They’re taking a train to a patch, where they’ll pick a pumpkin and take it home. Departing from Fort Bragg and Willits, the special Skunk Train runs every year. This fall, hop on it Saturdays and Sundays, October 2–31.

Tickets are $10.95–$52.95 and may be purchased at skunktrain.com. ¶

Get Free Health Screenings

D

uring fire season and throughout the pandemic, first responders and health care professionals come to our aid. The Heroes of Healthy and Safety Fair honors these individuals and also highlights their services.

Included in the event are free COVID and flu vaccines, health and dental screenings, fluoride treatments, and a Jaws-of-Life demo. There will even be a giveaway of kids’ bikes and helmets, and rescue vehicles will be on hand, too. This free event happens on October 16, 10 a.m.–3 p.m., at the Lake County Fairgrounds in Lakeport. For more information, go to facebook. com/sutterlakeside. ¶

All Hail the Pumpkin!

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hat’s a steam-punk pumpkin look like? Find out at this year’s Ukiah Country PumpkinFest, where steam punk will reign supreme. The streets of downtown Ukiah will be filled with craft vendors, art exhibits, a beer and wine garden, and live music. There will even be rides on a Ferris wheel.

And Smokey the Bear will make an appearance at the festival’s Fire and Safety Expo. Kicking off on October 16 with a 10 a.m. parade that begins at the Redwood Empire Fairgrounds in Ukiah, festivities will run October 16, 10 a.m.–6 p.m., and October 17, 10 a.m.–4 p.m., in downtown Ukiah. Meanwhile, a Giant Pumpkin Weigh-Off will be held on October 15, 4–7 p.m., at the Alex Thomas Plaza in Ukiah. For details, go to cityofukiah.com/pumpkinfest2021. ¶

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Giant Pumpkin Weigh-Off

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Party Like It’s 1795

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hen Mozart was composing in the 18th century, the clarinet was still a fairly new instrument. The musician was quite taken with its sound, writing for the woodwind right up until his death. Local clarinetist Eric Kritz will be bringing some of that music to the stage of Mendocino’s Preston Hall when he and other local musicians, including a violinist and cellist, will perform the work of not only Mozart but also Prokofiev and Françaix. In addition, the ensemble will present a new piece by local composer Jeff Ives. A part of the Symphony of the Redwoods Opus series, the concert, Eric Kritz and Friends, will be held on October 17 at 3 p.m. Tickets are $25; admission is free for youth ages 18 and younger. Proof of vaccination and masks are required to enter; seating will be socially distanced.

Purchase tickets at symphonyoftheredwoods.org. ¶

Eric Kritz and Friends

Costumes & Candy

D

uring a pandemic, trick-or-treating can by tricky, indeed. That’s why the Trunk-or-Treat at the First Presbyterian Church of Ukiah will require participants to wear masks. And costumes are most welcome, too. Kids are invited to don their favorite fantastical outfits, bring bags for sweet loot, and partake of candy stashed in car trunks. The event happens on October 31, 4:30–6:30 p.m., in the church parking lot in Ukiah. Call 468-9235 for more information. ¶

Bard Mania

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magine speed-reading all of Shakespeare’s plays in one night. That will essentially be the experience of the audience watching

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged), a play in which three manic actors

will attempt to perform every single of the Bard’s works in one and a half hours. See their comic feat Thursdays through Sundays, October 8–23, outdoors at the Plaza (behind Café 77) in Willits.

Performances are at 7:30 p.m. or, on Sundays at 2 p.m. Tickets are $10 and may be purchased at wctperformingartscenter.org. ¶

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

October 2021

MendoLakeFamilyLife 9

and a week or so here and there? Are you a curriculum-loving person or do you like to create your own lessons? Or are you an unschooler, someone who just wants to go where your children’s interests take you? (Check out unit studies if this sounds like you.)

Don’t be surprised if you end up learning as much as your kids do.

Homeschool Happiness 11 Unique Benefits of At-Home Learning

By Kerrie McLoughlin

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f you’re questioning whether homeschooling is the right choice for your family, check out some of these unique benefits and then see what you think. Of course you’ll have challenging days, but you’ll have a whole lot of fun alongside your kids, too.

1. Kids get more free time. If it seems like your child has endless hours of homework in addition to being in school 35 hours a week, free time is a big benefit of homeschooling.

You can teach what is necessary and once your child “gets it,” you can move on to something else. Also, I doubt you are trying to keep 20-plus kids under control, which does take a lot of time for a teacher at school.

2. You can offer customized classes. You can provide an education comparable to that of a 10 MendoLakeFamilyLife

costly private school, even if you don’t have a college degree. When you homeschool, your children won’t be bored while the other kids in their class are learning things they already know, according to homeschooling dad Tom Kliethermes. Likewise, they won’t be frustrated trying to keep up with something they’re not ready for.

3. Teach your way. Do you want to homeschool lightly year-round?

Or would it suit your family better to homeschool several hours a day for seven months, taking off the summer

4. Kids can follow their intellectual curiosity. Remember loving a certain subject in school and really getting into it, but when the bell rang, it was time to move on and get in a different frame of mind for a new subject? Homeschooled kids have time and freedom to pursue their passions, such as music, writing, acting, sports, and more.

5. Fit classes into your schedule. Forget about the vision of a homeschooling mom teaching her kids at the dining room table.

Sometimes it’s Dad teaching English when he gets home from work and Mom teaching other basics in the morning, leaving the afternoon/early evening free for other activities. If Dad travels, the whole family can tag along. If Mom and kids are night owls, so be it. You can stay up late talking, reading, or watching educational shows.

6. There are many socialization opportunities.

You won’t hear many homeschooled kids saying they can’t play with a kid who is younger or older than they are.

Homeschooled kids have friends who are homeschooled, friends who are

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

unschooled, friends who attend public school, and friends who attend private school.

7. Kids are more likely to stay healthy. Kliethermes says one benefit of homeschooling is that your child won’t be sitting at a desk six hours a day. As a result, your kids may be healthier because they are likely getting more regular exercise, more fresh air, more sleep, etc. Of course, during the COVID-19 pandemic, there is the obvious plus of decreasing kids’ exposure to large groups of people.

8. You learn, too! This one might be a little selfish, but don’t be surprised if you end up learning as much as your kids do—especially if you, like the rest of us, feel like

you’ve lost 90 percent of what you learned in school. Now that you don’t have that pressure to

Homeschooled kids have time and freedom to pursue their passions. memorize information and perform on a test, you might be more likely to soak up what you read, making it easier to teach your own kids in a relatable manner.

9. Vacations cost less. Another selfish benefit is that, since you can go on vacation anytime you want, you can travel off-season and get a cheaper rate. In addition, field trip venues like parks and museums are a lot less

populated and crazy on weekdays than weekends.

10. Trickle-down learning really happens. Think about how much easier your younger children will be to teach after they’ve already heard your lessons for their older sibling(s).

Learning truly does filter down in a homeschooling household.

11. There’s a lot of time to talk.

“Quality family time,” says Jill Connors, mom of five, is a big homeschooling benefit. Meanwhile, Kliethermes says, “It’s easier to be my child’s moral guide.”

Those random conversations and life questions can happen any time of day when you’re together for most of it. ¶ Kerrie McLoughlin, homeschooling writer mom of five, can be found at thekerrieshow.com and would love to connect with you.

Design Your Future

Create Who You Want To Be

READ WITH YOUR KIDS UKIAH UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT

WASC Accredited

Not Immunized? No Problem. La Vida Can Support You. La Vida Charter School

511 S. ORCHARD AVE., UKIAH • 707-472-5000

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

October 2021

707-459-6344

11785 Orchard Lane, Willits

lavidaschool.org

MendoLakeFamilyLife 11

younger than 6 months swaddled or with skin-to-skin contact. Have older kids sit on your lap. Teens may choose to sit on your lap, or next to you or alone. Let it be their choice.

Offer age-appropriate distraction.

You might want to bring a favorite book, toy, or stuffed animal along in case you have to wait, or for comfort after the shot. An LED changing-pattern spinner wand,

Shots for Tots Help Kids Cope with Getting Vaccines

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ith COVID-19 vaccination eligibility expanding to include younger children, UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospitals sat down with pediatric pain and palliative medicine specialist Stefan J. Friedrichsdorf, MD, to learn tips and tricks for soothing kids’ pain and anxiety when it’s their turn to be vaccinated.

Facts about Immunizations

• Immunizations save lives.

• One in four adults in the United States is afraid of needle pokes.

• Needle fear is one of the main reasons children don’t get their shots.

Vaccination Tips for Parents Pick up numbing cream. Apply 4% lidocaine cream at least 30 minutes before your child’s vaccination.

You can buy it over the counter in drugstores, at pharmacies, or online. Check with your doctor’s 12 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Don’t say “I’m sorry” or “It’ll be over soon.” office to find out the exact location of the shot (usually the upper leg for babies under 12 months, and the upper arm for children age 1 and older). Apply the cream to an area of skin about the size of a quarter, and then cover it with a transparent film dressing (sold at drugstores) or plastic wrap.

Position kids for comfort. Do not hold your child down. Hold babies

Needle fear is one of the main reasons children don’t get their shots. pinwheels, and picture books can distract the youngest kids, and apps or books may appeal to older ones.

Don’t say, “I’m sorry” or “It’ll be over soon.” Instead, use humor and distract with light conversation.

During and after the shot. For babies under age 1, breastfeed or give them a few drops of sugar water (24% sucrose) during the vaccination. For kids of all ages, create a positive memory by praising them right after the shot, and again at home. Tell them how well they did, and how it only “bothered” them for a very short time (if it did). This helps them create a positive memory and be less afraid next time. Very young children won’t understand the words, but they’ll sense your encouragement. ¶ Reprinted with permission from UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital, ucsfbenioffchildrens.org.

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

______________________ October 16 Saturday y

y

y

2021

10 am–3 pm

Lake County Fairgrounds

FREE Admission!

8th Annual

AND

y FAIR

masks required

Vaccines work! Get free COVID and flu shots

Doctors on-site to discuss vaccine safety and effectiveness. '

EDUCATIONAL F EXCITING F FUN INTERACTIVE DEMONSTRATIONS FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY

“Jaws-of-Life” • Medical Helicopters • Rescue Vehicles • Compression only CPR Boating Safety • Car Seat Safety Inspections • Narcan training

free services provided

COVID vaccines • Flu Shots • Health screenings • A1c Blood Glucose Testing Fluoride • dental screenings

______________________ Free giveaways

kids go bags • kids’ bikes • bike helmets • Narcan kits

SPONSORED BY

Lake Family Resource Center

County of Lake Health Services Department

LAKE COUNTY FIRE CHIEF’S ASSOCIATION

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October 2021

MendoLakeFamilyLife 13

Credit allows you to get the item you’re purchasing before you pay for it, removing the immediate incentive to make your payment. That’s why it’s important to teach your child that credit is an asset, and you should be just as protective of it as you are with your cash.

I Owe, I Owe How to Teach Your Kids About Debt

By Ann Lloyd

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hen you’re young, you think you’re invincible, and that can apply to money, too. After all, teenagers don’t have many real-world expenses, so they can buy what they want. When it comes to what they need, parents have that covered.

But when you’re the parents, you know better. You know that the most important thing to buy won’t be the latest video game or a fresh pair of Nikes. You’ll have to save up for a house, a car, or an emergency.

You can’t pay for things like that with an allowance, so you’ll need to save up instead. And if you spend too much on impulsive purchases now, you won’t have money for those major investments down the road. Worse, you could put yourself so far in a hole with debt that you struggle to pay it back and hurt your credit for the long term.

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Teach your child to stay out of debt by saving for items in advance.

As a parent, you never want your kids to make the same mistakes you may have made. Here are a few good ways to teach your kids about debt.

Teach them what credit is… and what it isn’t. Put simply, credit gives you a way to purchase something you want or need now, and pay for it later. To a child, teen, or young adult, credit can seem like “free money.”

Consider funding a purchase and allowing your kids to pay you back over time.

It may help to explain how, in the “old days,” customers would do the opposite in order to afford items they couldn’t pay for right away. They’d make payments over time, but they wouldn’t get what they were buying until after they’d paid in full. It’s called layaway: a method you can use to reserve something you know you want and can pick up when you’ve paid for it. Since you don’t have it yet, you have an obvious incentive to keep up your payments.

Teach your child to stay out of debt by saving for items in advance. Help them set up a layaway plan for large purchases by breaking down the cost of the item into a certain number of payments over a specific period of time. Help them set up a savings account where they can deposit their funds each week or month until they reach their goal. Then, when they reach their goal, celebrate with them.

Let them know why you need credit. Credit can sound pretty dangerous, given the temptation to use it the wrong way and how easy it is to fall into debt. So your kids may

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

not understand why you would even bother using credit at all. Why not just pay for everything upfront? Make sure they know that there will almost certainly be times when you can’t, and that’s okay.

pay you back over time. Set up a payment schedule, establish late fees, and talk about the consequences if they don’t hold up their end of

To a child, teen, or young adult, credit can seem like “free money.”

Most people don’t have enough money to pay for a house or car in full, so you need good credit to qualify for a loan.

Plus, some landlords and employers look at your credit history to find out whether you’re dependable, so it’s important to be in good standing.

the bargain. Will you repossess the item? Will you be likely to lend to them again?

Teach your child the difference between “good debt” and “bad debt,” and make sure they know that paying your bills on time is an important part of building good credit. To do this, consider funding a purchase and allowing them to

Tell them how interest rates work. Establishing good credit when you’re young can help you save money on things you have to pay for over time by helping you get the best interest rates. For that reason, it’s a good idea to teach your kids how interest works.

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October 2021

Explain that interest can work both ways: You can earn interest through a savings account or investments, and you usually pay interest on money you’ve borrowed. Whether you pay a little or a lot depends on your credit history. For instance, if you’re looking to buy a home, and you have excellent credit, you’ll pay thousands—or even tens of thousands—of dollars less over the course of a 30-year mortgage than you would if you had ordinary credit.

This is a complex concept for many young people, but there are online tools you can use to make it easier to understand. Playing games is a great way to make learning about personal finance fun. ¶ Ann Lloyd is a writer for Student Savings Guide, studentsavingsguide.com.

MendoLakeFamilyLife 15

often try to hide the fact that they’re cyberbullied, ensure them ahead of time that they can always come to you with any problem, no matter how big or small. It’s very important, say Sameer Hinduja, PhD, and Justin Patchin, PhD, of the Cyberbullying Research Center, to “cultivate and

Beware of Protect Your Kids Bullies from Cyber Attacks O

By Tanni Haas

ne of parents’ greatest fears is that their kids will become the victims of cyberbullying. And they have the fear for good reason: Research shows that almost half of all middle and high school students are cyberbullied at some point. If that’s the case, what can you do to protect your kids?

First, monitor your kids’ online behavior on a regular basis and pay close attention to which sites they’re on, whom they interact with, and the nature of their interactions. As Sarah Brown, an expert on children’s use of technology, says, “Being familiar with their online world is the best way for you to notice if something is wrong.”

Research shows that parents who don’t monitor their kids’ online behavior are more likely to be unaware that their kids are being cyberbullied. There are 16 MendoLakeFamilyLife

many ways to monitor what your kids are doing online, including setting up their online accounts together with them so that you know their usernames and passwords, creating Google Alerts with your kids’ names, installing monitoring software on their devices, and requiring them to allow you to “friend” or “follow” them online.

If you notice any interactions that could be cause for alarm, speak to your kids right away. Since kids

A good rule of thumb is to say and do online only what you would say and do face-to-face to someone. maintain open, candid lines of communication with your children, so that they’re ready and willing to come to you whenever they experience something unpleasant or distressing in cyberspace.”

Ensure your kids ahead of time that you won’t ban them from going online if they come to you for help. As Michael Nuccitelli, PsyD, a well-known child psychologist and expert on cyberbullying, says, consistently remind your kids that “they’ll not lose their online privileges, interactive online gaming time, mobile devices, or social network site privileges due to cyberbullying issues, provided they are open, honest, and forthright.” Try not to overreact to situations, as this will make your kids think that you’ll overreact if they tell you about being cyberbullied.

When you speak to your kids about their online activities, encourage them not to respond in kind to wannabe cyberbullies—responding will only exacerbate the problem. Tara Fishler, a prominent expert on mediation and conflict resolution, says, “responding

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

lets the bully know they affected you.

Not posting a response gives you some control so you are not sucked into their harmful activities.” Instead, help block any wannabe cyberbullies from reaching your kids.

As part of your regular conversations with your kids, teach them safe online habits. This includes such basic online security measures as never revealing identifying, personal information such as their home addresses, phone numbers, and where they go to school; not sharing their usernames and passwords with others; not leaving online accounts accessible and vulnerable on public devices; and never opening messages and links from people they don’t already know.

Your kids should also learn to select appropriate privacy settings on their

online accounts, so that they only accept friends or follow requests from people they personally know, and allow posts to be broadcast only to

Kids should also learn to select appropriate privacy settings on their online accounts. their circle of friends or followers.

As Brown puts it, “Limiting online exposure helps keep the bullies at bay.”

More generally, teach your kids to think carefully before they post anything online. They need to understand the potential repercussions from anything they post, including how certain posts could be used maliciously. A good rule of thumb

is to say and do online only what you would say and do face-to-face to someone. Your kids should understand that as soon as they post something, it’s out of their control.

Their posts can be forwarded without their knowledge or consent. Ruth Carter, a lawyer who specializes in social media and Internet law, says, “Kids should be taught early and often that they have no idea when a post will take on a life of its own and go places they can’t control.” A stricter but no less useful approach would be to establish actual rules for your kids’ online activities: Decide which sites they’re allowed to access, for how long, and what they are permitted to do on those sites. ¶ Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor.

First Presbyterian Church of Ukiah invites YOU to

Substitute Teachers Needed!

Sunday, October 31st 4:30-6:30pm

Join Our Team! Learn More at www.edjoin.org Become a Ukiah Unified substitute teacher and help our students thrive. $21.42–$37.67/hour. The process has never been easier. Perfect for those who would like a flexible schedule or second income.

Contact Maribel Ramirez at 707-472-5034 or mramirez@uusd.net for more information. www.edjoin.org

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4:30-6:30pm Parking lot on the corner of S. Dora & W. Perkins

Parking lot on the corner of COME COSTUME FREE CANDY S.INDora & W.•Perkins PHOTO OP • ALL ARE WELCOMED

Come in costume PLEASE WEAR A FACIAL MASK FREE CANDY

Questions: Contact First Presbyterian Churchphoto of Ukiah 707-468-9235 op October 2021

All are Welcomed MendoLakeFamilyLife 17 please wear a Facial mask

In the middle of January I started bleeding heavily and went to the hospital. When the doctor came in to speak with me, he told me the words no mother ever wants to hear—for a third time. I had lost the baby. The heartbreak that you feel when they inform you of your loss is one that you will feel for a lifetime. In August of 2020 I got a positive pregnancy test and

Losing Local Nonprofit Offers Help for a Baby Grieving Parents

By Liz Anderson

W

hen we talk about pregnancy, it’s often done in a certain light, one that softly shines on the excitement and joy that come along with expecting a baby. But for so many families, the beauty of pregnancy intersects with the experiences of trauma, grief, and loss.

Mother-Wise, a Lakeport-based nonprofit that supports mothers, wants to spotlight these experiences, especially during October, which is Pregnancy and Early Infant Loss Month.

Our goal is to normalize the pregnancy and birth stories that include circumstances such as miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.

We see it as an opportunity for us to be more inclusive in how we talk about pregnancy, to bring light to the more difficult aspects of motherhood, and to honor the stories of families who have experienced loss.

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In our effort to support grieving moms, we asked Lake County parents to share their experiences with early infant loss. Here is Megan’s story: The first time I got pregnant I was 22, and I suffered a miscarriage. To say I was devastated is an understatement.

I felt that I had failed my partner and myself. About a month later we conceived again with fraternal twins.

This time I lost just one twin but had a normal healthy pregnancy with my oldest son. Around Christmas in 2019 I learned I was pregnant again. I was excited because my partner and I had been trying for two years for a baby.

Our goal is to normalize the pregnancy and birth stories that include circumstances such as miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. went on to have a healthy pregnancy and delivered my second rainbow baby on Easter 2021. I am forever grateful for the two boys that I have.

Stories like Megan’s are more common than we may realize. In fact, one in four pregnancies results in miscarriage. Lake County parents are invited to share their own stories of infant loss on the Facebook page of Mother-Wise Lake County. In addition, the Global Wave of Light ceremony will be held on October 15 at 7 p.m. At this time, everyone is invited to light a candle and burn it for one hour, in remembrance of all the pregnancies and babies lost too soon.

If you or someone you care about is struggling with pregnancy or early infant loss, or is facing mental health challenges related to the perinatal period, Mother-Wise can help. For more information, visit: facebook. com/motherwiselakecounty or mother-wise.org. ¶ Liz Anderson works for Mother-Wise Lake County in Lakeport.

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Have More Fun & Create Great Memories Get weekly FREE email updates for the best LOCAL family fun calendar visit

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Belle et la Bête by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont. Belle is a bookish girl who is not satisfied with life in her provincial French town, nor the advances of Gaston, her conceited suitor. She adores her eccentric inventor father, though, and unwittingly follows him into the clutches of a hideous beast, who teaches her, with a little help from his enchanted servants, how appearances can be deceiving.

Trick-or-Treat Film Feast 12 Not-Too-Scary Halloween Classics

By Christina Katz

F

eeling haunted by the sugar surges of Halloweens past? Why not gather up your little brood of goblins for a sweet movie marathon sure to get you in the hallowed mood—no candy required.

Escape to Witch Mountain

(Rated G, ages 7+) They just don’t make Disney movies like this any longer. A brother and sister with curious psychic powers and a “star box” are the central focus of

For Linus, it’s not Halloween without the Great Pumpkin. unraveling this 1975 sci-fi mystery. Tia and Tony don’t know whom they can trust beyond each other, but thanks to an unlikely ally played by Eddie Albert, the orphans eventually reunite with their kin.

The Wizard of Oz (Not rated,

These not-too-spooky flicks are a festive way to build up to a big night of “Trick or Treat!” without terrifying anyone in the family. The films range in appropriateness from toddler to teen, with age recommendations that should satisfy even the most cinema-selective parents.

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Not Rated, ages 4+) For

animated 1966 Charles Schulz cartoon accompanied by Vince Guaraldi piano music. Share the annual tradition with your kids so they can meet Charlie Brown, Lucy, Sally, Pigpen, Violet, Schroeder, and the whole gang.

Remember, never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker. And never miss an opportunity to introduce your kids to Peanuts.

Linus, it’s not Halloween without the Great Pumpkin. For some of the rest of us, it’s not Halloween without an

Beauty and the Beast (Rated G, ages 6+) This 1991 Disney tale is based on a fairy tale as old as time—La

20 MendoLakeFamilyLife

ages 8+) This masterful 1939 film may be scarier than you remember, making it the perfect Halloween family fare. When I was a kid, it was mean old Miss Gulch and what she was going to do to Toto, not to mention the sight of Dorothy’s house twirling in the tornado, that frightened me. Forget, lions and tigers and bears.

Remember, flying monkeys and witches and Winkies? Fortunately, the darker aspects of the story are balanced out by lighter characters like Dorothy, Glinda, and Munchkins. It’s

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

mendo lake a one-of-a-kind heroine’s journey your family will want to watch again and again.

ET (Rated PG, ages 8+) Science fiction is already a mysterious genre to many of us. The addition of a strange but sweet alien may up the fear factor for young children. Literal-minded thinkers may also need some coaching to appreciate this artful 1982 blockbuster film from Steven Spielberg.

Compelling performances by movie

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They just don’t make Disney movies like this any longer. siblings Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, and Robert MacNaughton may even convince you to break out some Reese’s Pieces before the 31st.

The Corpse Bride (Rated

PG, ages 9+) This 2005 film is stop-motion animation at its best.

If your kids can handle the corpse bride’s eyeball popping out a few times, they will likely enjoy Tim Burton’s Goth gambol between two worlds.

Johnny Depp is Victor, the indecisive bridegroom, trying to navigate the chasm between true love and good manners. A film that just might teach kids to commit more decisively to who and what they adore.

Ghostbusters (Rated PG, ages 10+) Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, and Harold Ramis are not afraid of ghosts, and your kids won’t be either after watching this silly, slimy 1984 comedy caper. ¶ Christina Katz is a author, journalist, and writing coach.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

October 2021

MendoLakeFamilyLife 21

October Tuesday 5 FREE Virtual Circle Times with First 5 Lake County. Via Zoom.

English sessions on Tuesdays at 10 a.m. & Thursdays at 10 a.m. & 4 p.m. Spanish sessions on Tuesdays at 4 p.m. & Thursdays at 10:45 a.m.

Sign up: earlyinterventionreferrals@ esnorcal.org.

FREE Middletown Storytime. Stories,

songs, crafts & games in Washington Square Park, right outside the library.

Tuesdays. 10:30–11:30 a.m. Middletown Library. 21256 Washington St., Middletown. Registration required: bit.ly/3gcqlta or call 987-3674.

Calendar of Events

Online Plant Sale. Order plants

online at mendocino.edu/department/ agriculture. Pick-ups 9 a.m.–4:30 p.m. daily at the greenhouses on the Ukiah campus. Runs thru Oct. 15.

Mendocino College. 1000 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah.

Thursday 7 FREE One Warm Coat Drive.

Collecting clean, gently worn & new coats. Monday–Friday. 9 a.m.–3 p.m. Lake Family Resource Center locations: 5350 Main St., Kelseyville & 896 Lakeport Blvd., Lakeport.

279-0563, ext. 207.

Friday 8 The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged). In 1.5

hours, 3 actors attempt to perform every Shakespeare production ever written. $10. Thursdays–Saturdays: 7:30 p.m. Sundays: 2 p.m. Show runs thru Oct. 23. The Plaza. 77 S. Main St. (behind Café 77), Willits. wctperformingartscenter.org.

Friday Family Skate Night. $5 drop-in fee. Parent or guardian must sign for kids under 18. Fridays.

Preschool–4th grade: 6–7:20 p.m.

5th grade & up: 7:30–9 p.m. Old Recreation Center. 213 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. mendocoastrec.org.

Have extra coats in your closet?

Donate them!

Lake Family Resource center We are collecting clean, gently worn, and new coats in all sizes during our One Warm Coat Drive.

Donations will be accepted at #LAKEFRC office locations: 5350 Main St., Kelseyville 896 Lakeport Blvd., Lakeport Donations can be dropped off M–F 9am–3pm

or call 707-279-0563, Ext. 207 22 MendoLakeFamilyLife

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Saturday 9 FREE Art & Craft Faire. Crafts, baked goods, raffles. 9 a.m.–3 p.m.

Moose Lodge. 15910 Moose Lodge Ln., Clearlake Oaks. 998-3740.

FREE Farmers’ Market Storytime.

Presented by the Ukiah Library.

10–11 a.m. Saturdays. Alex Thomas Plaza. 20290 S. State St., Ukiah. mendolibrary.org.

27. 3 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. mendolibrary.org.

Friday 15 FREE Great Pumpkin Weigh-Off.

$3,000 in prizes. 4–7 p.m. Alex Thomas Plaza. 20290 S. State St., Ukiah. cityofukiah.com.

Saturday 16 FREE Heroes of Health & Safety Fair. Free COVID & flu vaccines,

health & dental screenings, fluoride treatments. Jaws-of-Life demo.

Giveaways include kids’ bikes & helmets & Narcan kits. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Lake County Fairgrounds. 401

FREE 7-Year Celebration: Middletown Art Center. Enjoy wine

samplings & hors d’oeuvres. Silent auction, interactive light exhibit, performance art & virtual 3-D exhibit archive. 4:30–7 p.m. Middletown Art Center. 21456 State Hwy. 175, Middletown. middletownartcenter.org.

FREE Caspar Beach Summer Concert Series. Mixed Nuts. 2–5 p.m.

Providing Safe, Clean, Friendly & Efficient service to your City of Ukiah Activities and Recreation

STAY HEALTHY MENDOCINO

Caspar Beach RV Park. 14441 Cabrillo Dr., Mendocino.

Skunk Train Pumpkin Express. Ride

Skunk Train to a pumpkin patch & pick a pumpkin. $10.95–$52.95. Dogs: $10.95. Departing from Fort Bragg & Willits. Saturdays & Sundays.

Oct. 2–31. Fort Bragg: 100 W. Laurel St. Willits: 299 E. Commercial St. skunktrain.com.

Sunday 10 10th Annual Pianists’ Benefit Concert. Local pianists come together

to play & trade tall tales. Benefits Soper Reese Theatre & Lake County Friends of Mendocino College.

Cost: TBD. 2–5:30 p.m. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. soperreesetheatre.com.

Wednesday 13 FREE A Child, A Dog & A Good Book.

Kids can meet & read with therapy dogs. Safe play with licensed & insured dogs who love kids. Oct. 13 & www.mendolakefamilylife.com

We disinfect today so we can do Mendocino it againTransit Authority Providing Safe, Clean, Friendly & Efficient tomorrow. service to your City of Ukiah Activities and Recreation Staying safe together STAY HEALTHY MENDOCINO MTA sanitizes buses daily Services are available for Seniors and People with Disabilities ADA Accessible Transportation, Door-to-Door Service Services are available for Seniors and People with Disabilities Reduced and Travel Training ADAFares Accessible Transportation, Door to Door Service, Reduced Fares and Travel Training MASKS ARE REQUIRED–BUSES SANITIZED DAILY MASK ARE REQUIRED – BUSES SANITIZED DAILY SERVING MENDOCINO COUNTY SINCE 1976

SERVING MENDOCINO 241 COUNTY 1976 Plant Road, SINCE Ukiah, CA 95482 707-462-1422 241 Plant Road, Ukiah CA 95482 707-462-1422 October 2021

MendoLakeFamilyLife 23

ENJOYING OUR MAGAZINE? mendo lake FREE!

September 2020

Martin St., Lakeport. facebook.com/ sutterlakeside.

Skylark Shores Resort. 1120 N. Main St., Lakeport.

FREE PumpkinFest. Craft vendors,

FREE Spooktacular Take & Make Craft. Craft bags will be available

art exhibits, beer & wine garden & live music. Ferris wheel rides. Oct. 16: 10 a.m.–6 p.m. (parade at 10 a.m.) Oct. 17: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. cityofukiah.com/ pumpkinfest2021.

Sunday 17 Opus Chamber Music Concert.

Autism Aid

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Virtual Nana Kids connect

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Minivan Mafia Laugh it up

Don’t Miss Out on Our Weekly Fun Blast POINTERS & TIPS, LOCAL GOINGS-ON, CONTESTS & GIVEAWAYS!

Featuring clarinetist Eric Kritz & Friends playing Mozart, Prokofiev & new work by local composer Jeff Ives. $25. Ages 18 & younger: free.

Proof of COVID-19 vaccination required for entry. Masking & social distancing required. 3 p.m. Preston Hall. 44867 Main St., Mendocino. symphonyoftheredwoods.org.

Wednesday 20 FREE Mini Pumpkin Monsters.

Decorate mini pumpkins. All materials provided. Event follows all county/state COVID-19 guidelines.

4:30 p.m. Redbud Library. 14785 Burns Valley Rd., Clearlake. Registration required. Space limited. Call 994-5115 to reserve spot.

Friday 22 FREE Fall Plant Sale Fundraiser. No

CHECK IT OUT HERE SIGN UP HERE

24 MendoLakeFamilyLife

admission fee or reservations required to shop the sale. Runs thru Oct. 31.

10 a.m.–5 p.m. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 N. Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. gardenbythesea.org.

Saturday 23 FREE Skylark Shores Resort Show & Shine Car Show. DJ, food

vendors & trophies awarded. Open to any year, make & model cars, boats & motorcycles. No entry fee or pre-registration required. Space limited. To participate, email calhotboat@aol.com. 10 a.m.–4 p.m.

thru Oct. 30, or until supplies are depleted. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. 964-2020. fortbragglibrary.org.

FREE Northshore Fall Festival.

Craft & food vendor, live band, arts & crafts for kids. Benefits Northshore Fire Fund. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Main St., Upper Lake. upperlake.org/fall-fest.html.

Wednesday 27 FREE Fall Night Out & Movie in the Park. Family community event. Food,

prizes, games & activities. Presented by the Teen Action Project. 4–8 p.m.

5 p.m.: Zumba. 6 p.m.: Ugly sweater contest. 6:30 p.m.: movie in the park (bring a blanket). Point Arena Park, Point Arena. facebook.com/ actionnetworkthecenter.

Friday 29 FREE Downtown Lakeport Trick-or-Treating. Halloween

parade: 10 a.m. Trick-or-treating: 4–7 p.m. Main St., Lakeport. lakeportmainstreet.com.

Haunted House. Held in an

abandoned grocery store. Masks required. Benefits Marla Ruzicka Memorial Futsal Field. $10. Kids: 5–6 p.m. Adults: 6–10 p.m. Runs thru Oct. 31. County Liquor Market. 1847 N. High St., Lakeport. lakecountybloom. com/partycalendar.

Saturday 30 Annual Halloween Costume & Dinner Dance. Dinner, dancing,

best costume contest, raffles & live music. Benefits Animal Coalition of Lake County. $25. Ages 12 & older:

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

$12.50. Dinner: 5:30–7 p.m. Dancing: 6:30–10:30 p.m. Clearlake Oaks Moose Lodge. 15900 E. Hwy. 20, Clearlake Oaks. facebook.com/groups/ mooselodge2284.

FREE Spooktacular Storytime.

Costumes encouraged but not required. Halloween stories & treats.

Masks ages 2+ highly recommended.

Held outdoors, in front of library community room. 11:30 a.m.– noon. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. 964-2020. fortbragglibrary.org.

Celebrating YEARS

Oktoberfest Drive-Thru Fundraiser.

Ribs, squash pie, brownies & sides. $60 for 4. Tickets on sale Oct. 4 at Bartlett Hall (468-9256) & Mendocino Book Store. Pick up meal outside Ukiah Senior Center. 499 Leslie St., Ukiah. ukiahseniorcenter.org.

FREE Whys & Whens of Car Maintenance Workshop. Via Zoom.

Chaya Milchtein, of Mechanic Shop Femme, talks about car maintenance.

Learn why & when to perform maintenance tasks, such as changing oil & filters & checking tire pressure & coolant. 2:30–4 p.m. Register: carrm@ mendocinocounty.org.

Sunday 31 Blue Wing Halloween. Featuring

Ukiah vocalist & guitarist Steve “Dr. Woozle” Smith. Limited seating. 6–8 p.m. Blue Wing Restaurant. 9520 Main St., Upper Lake. 275-2233. tallmanhotel.com.

FREE Trunk-or-Treat. First Presbyterian Church of Ukiah. Come in costume & wear a mask. COVID guidelines followed. 4:30–6:30 p.m.

Ukiah First Presbyterian Church.

Parking lot corner of Dora & Perkins Streets, Ukiah. 468-9235.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

YEARS as the #1 resource for local families

magazine • web • email • events October 2021

MendoLakeFamilyLife 25

Humor Break 6. If you say yes to something once, be aware that you’ll be setting an unwavering precedent. So think really carefully before telling your toddlers that they can peel their own hard-boiled eggs, pretend to drive, or borrow any article of clothing you actually need for yourself.

A Guide to the Hello Velcro, Terrible Twos Goodbye Sanity

By Jessica Guerrieri

I

f you are new to the Terrible Twos, welcome. You’ll find information inside your Newcomer’s Packet. Here are the basics: Add 40 minutes of lag time to your exit strategy and an extra shot of espresso to your coffee order.

and the safety of all your Magnolia knickknacks.

Since this is my third time on the merry-go-round with a two-year-old, I have my own tips for getting through what I call the Toddler Independence/ Hostage Negotiations stage:

4. Never, and I mean never, give toddlers your cell phone. If you do, you’ll not only have to deal with the judgy-eyed ladies at Target who start conversations with phrases like “In my day...,” but also you will quickly lose social media followers due to the mysteriously posted pictures of the inside of your kids’ nostrils.

1. Find shoes that blind squirrels could put on and buy four pairs—one pair each for the front and back doors, one pair for the car, and another emergency pair for when, not if, all the other pairs get lost.

2. Don’t offer toddlers anything that shatters when thrown. Everything they handle should be the consistency of string cheese—for your safety 26 MendoLakeFamilyLife

3. Avoid purchasing any food with packaging that you yourself aren’t able to open—with your feet while blindfolded.

5. Make Velcro your new best friend.

Do not purchase clothes with zippers or buttons, unless you enjoy spending the majority of the day standing in your front entryway and never actually leaving the house.

7. Go ahead and set up a home office inside your car. You’ll essentially live there as it’s no longer legal to allow kids to ride in laundry baskets, and car seat straps and buckles are scientifically designed to infuriate both adults and children.

8. When it comes to potty training, it’s funny how toddlers will always insist on pulling down their own pants, but the second it becomes an all-hands-on-deck-situation, like, say, when a carpet must be scrubbed free of pee, they show no interest in any version of being “helpful.”

9. Notes for outings: If you bring a stroller, they won’t sit in it. If your arms are full of groceries, they’ll want to be carried. If you offer them a hand, they will slap it away, wanting to walk on their own.

10. Trying to communicate with a two-year-old is like a completely unentertaining game of charades in which flailing and screaming “NO!” are considered clues.

So if it seems like raising two-year-olds is twice as terribly hard as locating any of their four pairs of shoes, you are absolutely right. Just remember three is thrice as fun and, no matter how isolated you may feel in your car-home office, you are not alone. ¶ Jessica Guerrieri is a freelance writer. Find her at witandspitup.com and on Instagram @witandspitup.

October 2021 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Marketplace Preschools

Schools

Give Your Give Child a Head Start!

C E N T E R S

Free Your & Low-Cost Quality Preschool!

• Ukiah Child a classroomsTuition-free ✓ 1/2-day & full-day for Montessori North Ukiah - Bush St. ages 18 months to 5 years Nokomis - Washington Ave. Head elementary South forUkiah ages 5-13 - S. State St. ✓ Potty-trained not necessary Peach Tree - S. Orchard Ave. Start!

Hands-on, arts and music  ✓ Children with disabilities welcome • Willits

integrated with academics Near Brookside School at ✓ Referrals for transportation available Free & Low-Cost Spruce St. & Lincoln Way  National Green Campus Quality Preschool!

• Lake County Also providing FREE in-home services for

 Promotes responsibility, Upper Lake - 2nd Street infants, toddlers & pregnant women!

Head Start Child Development Program www.ncoinc.org Head Start

Lake - Clover Valley respect, andUpper peace

(707)Development 462-2582 Program License #230111843 Child Applications online: www.ncoinc.org • (707) 462-2582

Donate a Coat

S

taying warm in cool temperatures is a human need.

But many people don’t have the financial resources to meet this need. The One Warm Coat Drive aims to help, collecting clean, gently worn, and new coats for locals who could use one. Donations will be accepted October 7–30, Monday–Friday, 9 a.m.–3 p.m., at the Lake Family Resource Centers in Kelseyville and Lakeport. For more information, call 279-0563, ext. 207. ¶

treeoflifeschool@pacific.net www.treeoflifeschool.net

Accelerated Achievement Academy Find a School or After-School Activity in our Online Directories MendoLakeFamilyLife.com

Get Mom’s Attention!

Festival Benefits Fire Fund

ake County is no stranger to fires. Which is why the North Shore Fire Fund exists—to help finance the necessary technology and equipment to keep Lucerne, Clearlake Oaks, Upper Lake, and surrounding communities safe. The Northshore Fall Festival aims to raise money for the fund through food and art purchases. Craft booths will offer a variety of wares, including handmade clothing, jewelry, baskets, and more, while food booths will offer tri-tip sandwiches, tacos, and beer. In addition to vendors, there will be kids’ activities and live music performed by local rock band Beatz Werkin. Meanwhile, the Upper Lake Fire District station will provide Red Cross and fire zone information. The festival will be held on October 23, 11 a.m.–3 p.m., on Main Street in Upper Lake. Find out details at upperlake.org/fall-fest.html. ¶ www.mendolakefamilylife.com

• Coastnorth end of Fairgrounds Fort Bragg - Lincoln St. PO Box 966 Ukiah 95482

707-462-0913

Beatz Werkin

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FREE public school Grades 4-12 Small school Small class sizes Tutoring Career exploration

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October 2021

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Find critical COVID-19 info plus lots of free kid-friendly activities.

MendoLakeFamilyLife 27

Enjoy Cider Tasting in the Orchard RESERVE A TABLE Friday, Saturday & Sunday 11 a.m.–6 p.m.

We’re excited to welcome you to California’s first-ever Cider Tasting Orchard! Enjoy cider in its purest form, right where the apples grow and the cider is made, while you relax in the shade of 100-year-old apple trees. There’s fresh air, blue skies, and plenty of social distancing here for you.

www.gowansheirloomcider.com

707-205-1545 • (1/2 mile north of Gowan’s Oaktree) Highway 128, Philo