Mendo Lake Family Life December 2019

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December 2019

’Tis the Season 50 ways to play

Give Back Children volunteer

Stop & Let Go Self-care tips

Decode When to worry Colds

Wishing You ALL OF THE

Hope, Wonder &Joy THAT THE SEASON CAN BRING!

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December 2019

Every Issue 6

Dear Reader

7

Cooking with Kids Chocolate Lovers’ Dream

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12 Features 10 You Can Do It!

Bits and Pieces Eat and Be Merry Santa & Songs Walking Trees Fun with Foliage A Tale of Redemption The Holidays on Wheels

22 Calendar of Events Counting Down to the New Year

A clinical psychologist offers tips for helping anxious kids.

12 The Meaning in the Season

30 Humor Break A Little Dirt Won’t Hurt

Easy ways to cultivate connection with others.

14 Stop, Drop & Let Go Sneak self-care into busy schedules.

16 The Joy of Giving Back Age-by-age guidance for teaching kids to aid others.

18 Emotional Labor Exploring often overlooked— and unshared—parental duties.

8 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife

20 Decode Your Child’s Cold Know when to call the doctor.

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December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

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Dear Reader

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his time of year, religious and secular celebrations a like place the spotlight on love, kindness, and peace, qualities we Sharon Gowan hope to inspire with Publisher/Editor this issue.

To wit: Sharon@family-life.us “The Meaning of the Season” (page 12) offers simple ways to focus on relationships with family and friends, while “Stop, Drop & Let Go” (page 14) lists creative ways to stay connected with yourself. Meanwhile, “The Joy of Giving Back” (page 16) cites volunteer opportunities for every age child.

For some children, emotional, more than physical, well-being is at the fore, especially during these weeks after the wildfires. In “You Can Do It!” (page 10), clinical psychologist Dr. Jenny Yip offers advice for helping kids cope with anxiety.

Office Manager Patricia Ramos patty@family-life.us

Looking for a mood-lightener? Turn to “A Little Dirt Won’t Hurt” (page 30), in which humorist Meredith Ethington details a guest-by-guest holiday cleaning guide. (Hint: Visitors who only give 24 hours notice don’t get the good sheets.)

Business Marketing Renee Nutcher renee@family-life.us Warren Kaufman warren@family-life.us

May laughter, calm, and contentment visit your family often this season.

Happy holidays!

Their December schedules packed with parties and play, little kids are prone to getting sick. Check out “Decode Your Child’s Cold” (page 20) to find out when it’s time to make an appointment with a doctor.

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Web and Social Media Natalie Bruzon natalie@family-life.us

Kids who read at grade level by 3rd grade have a much higher chance of graduating from high school.

Good reading skills make school (and life) easier.

KEEP YOUR KIDS IN SCHOOL. 6 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Contributing Writers Shannon Dean Meredith Ethington Sandra Gordon Malia Jacobson Christina Katz Karen Nochimowski Denise Yearian

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

Publishing Office P.O. Box 351 Philo, CA 95466 (707) 586-9562

uusd.net December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Cooking with Kids

Chocolate Lovers’ Dream A Last-Minute Holiday Treat

By Momma Chef

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n no! You forgot that you have to bring a dessert to… (insert: the holiday banquet, PTA meeting, your friend’s house, etc.).

This recipe is for all those times you are panicking and think you have nothing to make. Instead of running out for a bag of store-bought cookies, try this recipe. Chances are that everything you need is already in your pantry. It is so easy to prepare and really one of the best last-minute desserts ever, with marshmallows and raisins blending perfectly with semi-sweet chocolate.

It’s a great recipe to make with the kids, too. (P.S. You’ll want to make an extra batch for home.)

5-Minute Yummy Chocolate Bark Ingredients • 1 cup (8 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate chips • 1 cup mini marshmallows • 1/3 cup raisins Instructions 1. Spray a small disposable pan (9”x13”) with PAM. 2. Pour chocolate chips into a microwave-safe bowl and microwave on High for one and a half minutes.

3. Mix and microwave for another one and a half minutes until all chocolate is melted.

4. Pour in marshmallows, stirring as you pour.

5. Then mix in the raisins, making sure all raisins and marshmallows are coated in chocolate.

This article originally appeared on MommaChef.com. It has been reprinted here with permission.

6. Spread mixture into greased pan and refrigerate at least 30 minutes until set.

Karen Nochimowski, aka Momma Chef, is a mother of three active boys (ages 12, 8, and 5). On her blog, MommaChef.com, find more of her recipes, all of which require no more than six ingredients and six minutes of prep time.

7. Break up the chocolate bark and enjoy!

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Serves: 6 Tip: Find a step-by-step video for making this recipe at tinyurl.com/ y6gcydzj.

December 2019

MendoLakeFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces

Eat and Be Merry

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ith music and multiple opportunities for hearty eats, Kelseyville Christmas in the Country aims to nourish body and spirit. The event, on December 6, will begin with free horse-drawn wagon rides through downtown Kelseyville, 4:30–6:30 p.m., as well as chili and chowder and live music at the Kelseyville Presbyterian Church, 4:30–7 p.m. At 5 p.m., St. Peter’s Catholic Church will begin its Pork and Chicken Tamale Feed; and at 6:30 p.m., after everyone has eaten their fill, the Lighted Parade will begin on Main Street. The evening will end at the Kelseyville Fire Department, where the town’s tree will be lit and the Kelseyville High School Choir will sing holiday tunes.

For young ones who want to visit Santa, Father Christmas will be holding court at the Westamerica Bank, where pianist David Neft will be tickling the ivories. For more information, go to facebook. com/events/442252786421660. ¶

Santa & Songs

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ighting the tree, singing carols, meeting Santa—these are all the ingredients of a downtown holiday celebration. And the free Tree Lighting and Sing Along at the Lower Lake School House and Museum in Lower Lake has them all. The annual event will be held on December 6 at 6 p.m. See facebook. com/lowerlakeschoolhousemuseum for more information. Meanwhile, the Upper Lake Lights Parade will include not only the aforementioned seasonal staples, but also, as the name implies, a parade of vehicles dressed up in illuminated holiday finery. That event happens on December 7 at Redbud Park in Clearlake, with the tree lighting at 6 p.m. and the parade at 6:30 p.m. Go to lakecounty.com/event/upper-lakelights-parade for details. ¶

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Christmas in Middletown

Walking Trees

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ne may not think of evergreens as animated entities, but at the Christmas in Middletown event, they walk. How so? Local school officials, who apparently don’t take themselves too seriously, don a tree costume. The ambulating “trees” are just a part of the event that includes pony rides, kids’ arts and crafts, and, of course, Santa’s arrival on a fire truck. This free soiree happens on December 14, 4–8 p.m., in downtown Middletown. See middletownareamerchants.com for more information. ¶

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Seasonal Greetings Hike and Wreaths

Fun with Foliage

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hile December buries some parts of the country in snow, it leaves Lake and Mendocino Counties warm enough for locals to spend time in, and be inspired by, nature.

Enter the Hopland Hikes: Seasonal Greetings Hike and Wreaths event.

Participants can take a short walk (less than a mile) around the oak-wooded property of the Hopland Research and Extension Center (HREC), and then, after sipping some hot cider, make a wreath from locally sourced foliage. It all happens on December 14, 10 a.m.– noon, at HREC in Hopland. Admission is $25 and includes materials. Register at tinyurl.com/wm8l9o2. ¶

A Tale of Redemption

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n 1844 Hans Christian Andersen published a fairytale, the Snow Queen, about an evil woman who kidnaps a boy and takes him to a

frozen world. Once there, only the love of his best friend, an innocent little girl who searches tirelessly for him, can save the boy. Essentially a tale of love overcoming fear, the story has been turned into many stage productions, including the eponymous children’s musical that Gloriana Theater will be performing at Eagles Hall in Fort Bragg.

Shows will be at 7:30 p.m. December 13–14 and 20–21, and at 3 p.m.

December 15 and 22. Tickets are $8–$16 (4 and younger, free) and may be purchased at gloriana.org. ¶

The Holidays on Wheels

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trollers, wagons, bicycles, and golf carts are everyday ways to transport everything from people to flowers to putters.

But during the Festival of Lights’ Wheels and Carts Parade, they will transcend their normal roles and serve as vehicles for holiday cheer. See them dressed up in multi-colored twinkling lights and all manner of red-and-green décor on December 8, 6:30–7 p.m., at the Greenview Restaurant in Hidden Valley. Go to hvla.com for details. ¶

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

December 2019

MendoLakeFamilyLife 9

Yip: Yes, in increments. And we resist safety behaviors [checking, avoidance, seeking reassurance] because they only reinforce the faulty assumption that the fear is real.

Dr. Jenny Yip

You Can Do It! Helping Children Cope with Anxiety W

hen your child is anxious, everyday events turn into big struggles. In this interview, psychologist Dr. Jenny Yip, a clinical fellow of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, offers help.

Question: What is your advice for parents who have kids who are struggling with anxiety?

Dr. Yip: The evidence-based treatment for anxiety disorder is exposure and response prevention therapy, which is a type of cognitive behavior therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy basically means teaching children how to behave in a way that allows them to decrease their anxiety.

We teach them how to recognize the mind traps—the faulty thinking— that we all often get stuck in so that they can adjust their thought patterns to more accurately reflect reality. Exposure therapy basically means that we teach children how 10 MendoLakeFamilyLife

to confront their fears so that they no longer carry the magnitude that children imagine in their minds.

The classic example: If you have a spider phobia, you are going to avoid spiders, check for spiders, and want reassurance from parents that there aren’t spiders around. However, that doesn’t allow you to correct your faulty assumption that spiders are dangerous. The only way to correct your assumption is to actually confront that fear, so that you learn, “Oh wait, there is no harm in this spider.”

Q: So when you work with kids with anxiety, do you expose them to their fears in increments?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) runs rampant in my genetics.

One of my sons had his first panic attack at two years and six months. All of a sudden he discovered that there was a lot of hair in his bath after he washed his hair. He turned bright red, panicked, and wanted to get out of the water. Initially, he cried uncontrollably,

Rather than try to fix the problem, guide the child to his or her own solution. and I had to calm him down. I said, “Show me what you are afraid of,” and he pointed to the hair. Any parent would just drain the water and scoop their child out. However, we tried to make a game out of it. I made up a song that said, “Hair, hair, everywhere.

Let’s see how many we can pick.”

Then we tried to pick up the hair from the water, and I said, “Oh look at this!”

The next baths we did the same thing, to the point where now he still notices the hair, but it’s not causing him stress.

Q: Do you have any other tips for helping children manage anxiety?

Yip: It’s important to acknowledge a child’s feelings. A lot of times parents will tell their kid, “There is nothing to be afraid of” or “Everything will be OK, you’ll be fine.” [These statements] actually invalidate the child’s experience. Instead, say, “I see you are feeling very uncomfortable and anxious.” Then, rather than try to fix

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

the problem, guide the child to his or her own solution: “So what can you do to work through this?” [This approach tells] the child, “Hey, you have what it takes; I believe in you.” When anxiety is an issue, the most important traits children need are confidence and to believe in themselves.

Kids, especially the very young ones, really look to parents for information.

If a tragedy occurs, the child will first look to the parents for how to respond.

The most important thing to do in such a situation is to demonstrate strength. And being strong does not mean being emotionless. [Rather, it’s saying] I know that I am feeling sad right now. These are the things that I am doing to help myself feel better. [This approach shows children] that they

are not helpless, that there is a solution, a way out of feeling sad.

Q: When should parents seek professional help for their kids?

It’s important to acknowledge a child’s feelings.

Yip: Professional help is necessary if a child is spending a lot of time ruminating about worries, engaging in checking behaviors, seeking reassurance, and avoiding sports or school for whatever reason—these are some red flags. And when you are seeking professional help, don’t just go to anybody. Some professionals who are not specialists

may just categorize anxiety as “general anxiety,” [a diagnosis that is] very different from school anxiety, social anxiety, phobias, OCD, or panic attacks. Kids rarely have just general anxiety. Usually there are specific triggers to a child’s anxiety. So interview therapists. Ask them: Have they worked with other children with anxiety disorders?

And what kind of anxiety disorders?

And ask them what their treatment approach is. If the clinician doesn’t say “cognitive behavior therapy” and, more specifically, “exposure therapy,” then keep looking. ¶ Dr. Jenny Yip is the founder of the Renewed Freedom Center for Rapid Anxiety Relief and the Little Thinkers Center, both in Los Angeles. Find out more at dryip.com.

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December 2019

MendoLakeFamilyLife 11

4. Multicultural merriment.

Every year pick one country and find out about a major holiday celebrated there. Find out what the culture and traditions are like, learn a few words, and try traditional foods.

Decorate an outdoor tree with pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed.

The Meaning in the Season Simple Ways to Focus on the Heart and the Earth

By Denise Yearian

I

and attach it to the tree or place it by the menorah. On Christmas morning or during a Chanukah celebration, share it with the other family members and discuss ways everyone can help fulfill the goal.

6. Intergenerational experiences. Grandparents often have personal items—old dolls, a piece of jewelry, a book, or even a photograph—that they wish to give to their grandchildren, and the holidays are an opportune time to do it. Ask to learn the story behind each item. If the kids are old enough, they can video Grandma or Grandpa describing the history of the gift.

3. Go green. Reuse holiday wrapping paper to cover another gift, line a drawer, or draw on the reverse side. Christmas and Chanukah cards can be recycled, too. Cut them in half and use the blank side to jot down reminder notes, or let your kids cut them up and make new cards for next year.

7. Warm fuzzies. Families so often forget to share positive and encouraging words with one another.

Have your family sit in a circle and pass a fuzzy teddy bear around. As you do, have the person holding the bear say something she or he appreciates about the one sitting to her or his right or left.

n the midst of holiday hooplas, children often lose sight of the significance of the season. Here is a list of a dozen ways to create a more meaningful celebration.

1. Grassroots giving. One of the best ways to make your holiday more meaningful is to adopt a family from a local charity. When you call, ask for a family with children your own kids’ ages. Then if you normally give your child five gifts, suggest giving three and letting him or her pick out two for each needy child.

2. Aspiring ornaments. Have each family member secretly write one non-monetary thing they want to work and/or wish for in the coming year. Then put it in a decorative envelope or ornament

12 MendoLakeFamilyLife

5. Family photo tree. Decorate your tree or home with individual photos of family members. Mount images on construction paper, felt or foam, write the date on the back, attach a ribbon and hang it on the tree or place it by the menorah or in another important spot in your home.

When your children are grown, pass along the pictures so they can carry on the tradition.

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

mendo lake 8. Critter care. Decorate an outdoor tree with pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed; popcorn and cranberry garland; and orange and apple slices that have been attached to pipe cleaners or opened paperclips and then hung on the tree’s boughs. This is a way to take care of neighboring wildlife and wish them a happy holiday.

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9. Family fitness. During holiday school break, decide on one activity you can do together each day to stay fit—walk around the

Decorate your tree or home with individual photos of family members. neighborhood and look at lights, jump rope to a favorite holiday song, or play a round of basketball while the pie or kugel is baking.

Then make it a family New Year’s resolution.

10. Family video newsletter.

Each child can take turns being the anchorperson while you record, but make it more than just reading off news. Take footage from the kids’ bedrooms where they are showing a favorite stuffed animal or in the yard performing a newly acquired skill. Send copies of the DVD with your holiday cards, or attach the video to a holiday greeting email and donate the money you save on stamps to charity.

Denise Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three children and six grandchildren.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

December 2019

MendoLakeFamilyLife 13

task grows larger and more daunting than the last. The key is to stop pushing. Constant striving turns quickly into exhaustion. So drop the willpower and try to relax yourself back into a more natural flow of accomplishing tasks instead.

Stop, Drop & Let Go

Sit down. Find a chair or sit on the floor against a wall. For a few moments, relax and do nothing except breathe. Breathing slowly and deeply is a shortcut back to sanity when you feel stressed. If something

How to Stay Sane During the Holidays

By Christina Katz

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ere come the holidays barreling down the calendar track. If your holly-jollies start running on fumes, these steps will remind you how to hit the reset button so you can make a quick comeback.

Stop it. The frenetic pace is undeniable at this time of year— planning, shopping, parties, travel. However, every day you get to choose whether to act, react, respond, or detach. If you often feel like you can’t invoke your power of choice, and if you find yourself reacting to situations you would prefer to detach from, then maybe you need a break. You’ll know you need a break if you feel consistently grumpy and stressed out. When this happens, take 10 minutes to re-evaluate your day. No matter how 14 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Breathing slowly and deeply is a shortcut back to sanity when you feel stressed. much you still have to do, anyone can spare a few minutes.

Drop it. You may be attempting to accomplish too much. The more we try to jam into our waking hours, the less we feel like we are in the flow. If we are pushing all day, using will to power through a series of tasks, it may feel as though each

Every day you get to choose whether to act, react, respond, or detach. of tragic proportions happens, like forgetting to put the turkey out to thaw or neglecting to mail a package early enough to arrive on time, just keep breathing. When you panic and start berating yourself, it’s game-over for your holiday spirit. So, when inevitable stresses strike and mistakes happen, simply sit, breathe, and collect yourself.

Appreciate something. Now that you are calm, cool, and collected, take a couple of moments to appreciate something. You may feel grateful for something right in front of you, such as a pretty wreath or a warm coat, or for something more abstract.

Whatever you genuinely feel positive about counts. Stay in a state of appreciation until you feel a smile come across your face.

Let go. No doubt, once you stop thinking about good things, a few stressful items that have been lined up waiting for your attention will pop into your mind and start

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

10 Ways to Nurture Yourself 1. Go to bed by 10 p.m. each night.

2. Get up an hour earlier and have some daily you-time.

3. Watch all your favorite holiday movies.

4. Take a long winter’s nap.

5. Put a stack of inspirational books on your nightstand.

6. Write down your blessings.

7. Make a list of gifts you want and distribute it.

8. Take a long, hot bath with music and bath salts.

9. Listen to inspirational talks, podcasts, or books on tape.

10. Say kind things to yourself all day long.

jumping up and down and waving their arms. But here’s the thing: You just got yourself into a pretty good place. Do you really want to go back to square one all over again?

I’m sure you don’t. Milk feeling relaxed for as long as possible—and don’t feel bad about it. If nagging worry keeps dogging you, just acknowledge the concern and gently wave it to the side as though clearing a butterfly from your path.

Act thoughtfully. Ease back into your day, moving forward mindfully.

Drop the list for now. What is the single most important thing to do next? Intersperse actions with self-care. Do a task then put on some cheerful tunes. Do another then light a wood wick candle. Do

another then put the water on for tea. Take short breaks after completing a series of tasks. Have

You’ll know you need a break if you feel consistently grumpy and stressed out. small snacks throughout the day so you don’t overeat at mealtime.

Perhaps take out your list later on so you check things off. Remember, you set the tone for your holiday.

And you can stay in charge by taking excellent care of yourself. ¶ Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz loves to savor the days during the most magical time of the year.

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MendoLakeFamilyLife 15

tots interpersonal skills, including communication, empathy, and respect for others, and can foster future interest in volunteering.

Toddlers and preschoolers can help plant community gardens, wrap or decorate gifts, help pick up litter or rake leaves for an outdoor cleanup, sort and stack donated coats and scarves, or help shelve items at a food bank.

The Joy of Giving Back Raising Enthusiastic Volunteers

By Malia Jacobson

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hroughout the year, and especially at the holidays, volunteering with children can facilitate family bonding and impart valuable lessons in giving back. More than 15 million youth—around 55 percent—participate in volunteer activities, mostly through religious, school, or youth organizations, according to the Corporation for National and Community Service. But kids aren’t always willing helpers. Parents may wonder how to volunteer with a tiny tot, or about the best way to motivate a self-centered tween. Looking to get kids excited about giving back? Here’s age-by-age guidance on raising truly altruistic children.

TODDLER/PRESCHOOL YEARS (ages 2–5) Helping Hearts Don’t assume that kids need to be school-age before they can volunteer. “When kids are 16 MendoLakeFamilyLife

very young, you can volunteer as a family unit,” says Simon Lockyer, father of two and founder of the online giving platform everydayhero. com. Volunteering helps teach

Lockyer recommends bringing young ones to visit the elderly in nursing homes or deliver Meals on Wheels. “Their presence makes

Though volunteering benefits kids of all ages, it’s especially meaningful for teens. the experience really beautiful, brightening the faces of the sad and lonely who live either away from home or on their own.” Toddlers can’t yet understand abstract concepts like altruism, so don’t expect little ones to truly get the concept of giving back—just let them enjoy the act of helping others.

ELEMENTARY YEARS (ages 6–12) Caring Connection School-age children have a host of new worries and responsibilities, from friend cliques to math homework, and they can be preoccupied with their own daily lives. They can also make excellent, caring volunteers, says licensed family therapist Jen S. Miller, M.Ed.; it’s all a matter of finding something that sparks a child’s interest. “When children have decision-making autonomy

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

to choose the type of charity or organization they want to work with, it gives them additional motivation and empowerment,” she says.

Parents can present grade-schoolers with several options, preferably ones that relate to the child’s own life. Kids who have been bullied can volunteer with a group that advocates for bullying victims; pet lovers can work with animals; and bookworms can help out at a book drive. The benefits are multifaceted, says Miller; kids not only feel great about giving back, but also connect with others who share their struggles or interests.

TEEN YEARS (ages 13–18) Give and Take Though volunteering benefits kids of all

ages, it’s especially meaningful for teens, who can more fully appreciate the concept of altruism, says Miller.

“Through volunteering, they can grasp the good feelings of giving, instead of

Volunteering helps teach tots interpersonal skills, including communication, empathy, and respect for others. receiving, and apply more meaning to their lives and relationships.” That doesn’t mean giving back doesn’t have tangible personal benefits, says Lockyer. “Volunteering has become an increasingly important social and professional statement. Professional

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The Glory of Christmas Sing Joy, Sing Gloria!

A Dynamic Christmas Pageant for the Entire Family

Directed by:

Margie Salcedo Rice When: Sunday, December 15, 2019 3pm and 6pm Where: Ukiah SDA Church 1390 Laurel Avenue Admission is Free!

A Free Will Offering Will Be Taken

Free Tickets Available at: Mendocino Book Co., Rod’s Shoes, and The Ukiah SDA Church

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networking website LinkedIn has added a volunteer section where job-seekers can showcase volunteer experiences, and many colleges factor volunteer pursuits along with other extracurricular activities into admission decisions.”

Teens looking to get involved—and beef up a professional résumé or college application—can visit volunteermatch.org to connect with nonprofits based on their skills and experiences, he notes. “The earlier you begin volunteering and fostering your skills, the better.” ¶ Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

Sing Out!

12TH ANNUAL SING-ALONG A Community

Music Gathering

FREE EVENT - ALL ARE WELCOME

SUN. DEC. 22 3:30 First Presbyterian - Corner of Perkins & Dora

Cookies & Come sing Carols with the Hot Cider little ones & enjoy some Christmas Spirit & Cheer!

For More Info. Denise Beckler (707) 468-9235

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MendoLakeFamilyLife 17

and occasions that are important to not only those residing under her roof, but also to her in-laws, children’s teachers, and her spouse’s coworkers, among other people.

Emotional Labor Sharing All the Work of Parenting

By Shannon Dean

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any families share domestic duties in a way that would have been foreign to previous generations. For example, most dads will willingly do a load of laundry, change a diaper, or cook a meal. Many moms can complete home repairs, handle vehicle maintenance, and throw a ball. These shifts are healthy because they allow children to see both parents contributing to household tasks regardless of gender.

Unfortunately, the invisible emotional labor needed to support a modern family often remains gender-specific.

A recent report from the United Nations found that women do two and a half times more unpaid household and care work than men. As a result, some family responsibilities remain so unbalanced that mothers risk burnout.

What Is Emotional Labor?

Although many tasks classified as emotional labor address a family’s emotional and physical well-being, any 18 MendoLakeFamilyLife

administrative effort that contributes to a well-run household falls into this category. Because many moms are the emotional center of the home, they are expected to be fully available when family members are sick, troubled, or stressed. Mom is also the invisible elf who ensures that everyone has clothing that fits, food to eat, and a schedule that works.

Emotional labor often extends far beyond the immediate family. Moms are responsible for remembering issues

The Potential for Burnout When you add these invisible tasks to a full schedule, it’s no surprise that many mothers feel exhausted.

Understandably, this fatigue can lead to resentment and frustration. No one notices invisible labor until it goes

Be clear that you are asking for shared responsibility, not help; the latter implies that the task in question is solely your job. undone, at which time moms can be criticized or made to feel guilty. Even worse, since these unrelenting tasks often involve family relationships, many parents feel uncomfortable outsourcing them.

Additionally, the fact that emotional labor can often go unappreciated can cause a mother to withdraw when her family needs her the most. According to Amelia Nagoski, Ph.D., author of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (Ballantine Books, 2019), parental burnout can lead to decreased empathy and a dwindling sense of accomplishment. Eventually, an overwhelmed parent may shut down due to a belief that “nothing you do makes any difference,” she explains.

The Benefits of Shared Responsibility Mom is an obvious beneficiary of shared responsibility, but all family members win in a

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

The fact that emotional labor can often go unappreciated can cause a mother to withdraw when her family needs her the most.

Gemma Harley, the author of Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward (HarperOne, 2018), because it not only “sets up women for an overwhelming dive into the deep waters of emotional labor but also inhibits men from growing and stepping fully into the role of parent.”

Fortunately, most spouses want an equal partnership, but are either unaware of this inequality or are unsure of how to do their fair share.

So approach your partner with the goal of raising awareness about how www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Once you calmly ask him which tasks he’s willing to take on, know that he may have his own way of completing them—and this means that you will have to relinquish control. Hovering over a partner who is trying to share responsibility is continuing the cycle of imbalance.

Clarify Essential Tasks The value of emotional labor is immeasurable because it ensures that those we love feel secure and cared for. However, not every task is essential. Lightening your load may mean dropping obligations that no longer serve you or your family. Ask yourself what you do out of obligation rather than out of necessity or joy. Keeping only joyful and essential tasks means that you can lovingly offer emotional labor because you don’t feel undervalued, overwhelmed, and used.

Harley reassures families that sharing invisible labor “gives all of us a chance to live fuller and more authentic lives.”

Even better, when we share these responsibilities, we allow our loved ones to create their own systems, their own sets of priorities, and their own deep connections. ¶ Shannon Dean is a freelance writer.

December 2019

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TS

How to Approach a Partner It is very common to assume that Mom has a firm lock on emotional labor, while Dad is only a helpmate.

We must change this outlook, says

much work you actually do. Don’t wait until there’s a full-blown crisis to do this. Acknowledge the contributions he already makes so that he doesn’t become too defensive. Be clear that you are asking for shared responsibility, not help; the latter implies that the task in question is solely your job.

It may help to explain that shared responsibility will benefit your entire family. After all, you’re modeling the skills that your children will one day use to run their own households.

©P N

home where equality is valued. Data published in the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests that men who take on more household tasks enjoy increased physical intimacy in their marriages. In addition, fathers who share emotional labor set an important example for their children, particularly daughters. Research published in Psychological Science found that fathers who embraced household responsibilities raised daughters more likely to pursue less traditional, and possibly higher paying, careers. “How fathers treat their domestic duties appears to play a unique gatekeeper role,” explains researcher Alyssa Croft.

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also produce other chemicals in response to the virus that can make your child feel lousy.

Post-nasal drip—a slow leak of mucous from the nose that irritates the back of the throat—can also cause a runny nose, and sneezing and a phlegmy cough (without wheezing or fast breathing, day or night). None of these symptoms requires treatment.

Decode Your Child’s Cold When to Worry and How to Help

By Sandra Gordon

A

s miserable as a cough or stuffy nose can make your child feel, it’s helpful to know that cold symptoms can often seem worse than they actually are. Still, coughs and congestion can sometimes signal something more serious.

What’s worrisome and what’s not? Here’s what you need to know to decipher and treat your child’s cold symptoms.

Cold Clues Nasal congestion is often the first sign of a cold. It’s an inflammatory response to bacteria or, most commonly, a virus. When a virus invades your child’s nose or less often, the air passages in her or his chest, cells lining the nose and/ 20 MendoLakeFamilyLife

or the chest area swell and produce mucous. Clogged nasal and throat passages help block the bad bug from traveling further. As part of this inflammatory response, your child’s nose can also run, which helps shed the virus. The body can

When to Worry Cold-like symptoms you should be concerned about include distressed breathing (your child can’t catch his or her breath, even when trying to breathe through the mouth), a high fever

You can’t shorten the duration of a cold, but you can help your child feel better.

(100.5°F or greater), loss of appetite, disrupted sleep, a lack of energy, and/or chest congestion. Call your doctor if your child has any of these symptoms, especially if your child’s cough and stuffy nose persist more than 10 days without improving, even if they’re not causing other symptoms. Rarely a cold can start off as a viral nasal infection and develop into a bacterial infection in the lungs, aka pneumonia, which does require medical attention.

Your little one could also have asthma, allergies, or even enlarged adenoids, which inhibit breathing.

Older kids could have sinusitis (a bacterial infection that’s often brought on by a cold) or an allergy.

It could also simply be seasonal

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

stuffiness. When the humidity level in the air drops along with the thermometer, mucous membranes in the nose can swell.

Cold Comfort You can’t shorten the duration of a cold, but you can help your child feel better by trying these tactics: Sweeten the deal. Since a cold is viral, not bacterial, treatment won’t require antibiotics. And since the Food and Drug Administration

Call your doctor immediately if your child’s breathing ever seems labored. doesn’t recommend over-the-counter cough and cold medications for children under age 6 because of the risk of potentially life-threatening side effects, they aren’t options either. It’s just as well. “They haven’t actually been shown to be effective in children,” Michael Brady, M.D., says.

So try honey. “In studies, it works better than dextromethorphan, a component of cough suppressants,” says Bonnie Kvistad, M.D. Give a half a teaspoon to 2–5-year-olds; 1 teaspoon for 6–11-year-olds, and 2 teaspoons for kids ages 12 and older.

If administered before bed, make sure your child brushes her or his teeth because it can cause tooth decay. Honey isn’t recommended for children under age 1 because of the risk of botulism.

Cough drops are another option for loosening coughs and soothing sore throats. “But don’t give them to children under age 6,” says Kvistad. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Like any hard candies, lozenges pose a choking hazard.

Keep nasal passages as clear as possible. Using a cool-mist humidifier in your child’s bedroom will help moisten airways. But be sure to clean the humidifier often and only use it when your child is congested.

“If you run a humidifier full time, there’s a greater chance you’ll create mold spores in the room, which your child can inhale,” says Lawrence Rosen, M.D. As a result, kids can develop an allergy to mold and a chronic cough.

For babies and toddlers, use nasal saline drops and a nasal aspirator to suction a runny nose. This is important so your child can breathe through the nose when nursing or having a bottle. Your child may not drink as much otherwise, which can lead to dehydration. Use saline spray for older kids.

Fill up on fluids. Drinking plenty of clear fluids, such as water (for babies older than 1), can help your child stay hydrated, which helps thin mucous and clear nasal secretions. Avoid milk, which may make secretions at the back of the throat thicker. For babies under age 1, stick with breast milk or formula.

If your baby is vomiting, Rosen recommends alternating formula or breast milk with Pedialyte. But check with your doctor to be sure. Don’t give babies under 1 year old straight water, Rosen advises. Infants are susceptible to water intoxication, a potentially lethal condition. ¶ Sandra Gordon is an award-winning freelance writer.

December 2019

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Underestimate the Power of the Purse Moms typically control 80% or more of their household budgets.

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December Calendar of Events

Counting Down to the New Year

F

ive, four, three, two, one! When the ball drops in New York City at midnight on December 31, there will be a champagne toast at the Blue Wing Restaurant in Upper Lake. The eatery will be hosting its New York New Year’s Eve Party with live jazz music by the Bassos and a special white tablecloth dinner, 6–9:30 p.m. Call 275-2233 to make reservations, which are required. See tallmanhotel.com for details. ¶

Sunday 1 10th Annual Festival of Lights.

Garden plants lit up with holiday lights. $10. Ages 16 & younger: free. Fridays–Sundays. Thru Dec. 22. Doors: 5 p.m. Last entry: 7 p.m. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 N. Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. gardenbythesea.org.

Magical Christmas Train. Featuring Santa, festive treats, reindeer games & sing-alongs. 90-minute trip. Departs from Willits & Fort Bragg daily. $10.95–$52.95. Residents of Lake & Mendocino Counties get a discount.

Runs thru Dec. 23. 100 W. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. 299 E. Commercial St., Willits. Schedule: skunktrain.com.

Ukiah on Ice: Holiday Ice Skating Rink. $10 per skate session, includes

skates. Daily thru Jan. 5, 2020. Next to Alex Thomas Plaza on School St. Schedule: cityofukiah.com/ ukiah-on-ice.

FREE Mendocino Transit Authority Holiday Trolley. Thru Dec. 22.

Look for route map & schedule in this issue. Downtown Ukiah. mendocinotransit.org.

A Christmas Story. Based on the 1983

holiday classic. $11–$20. Dec. 1 & 8: 2 p.m. Dec. 5–7: 7 p.m. Ukiah Players

22 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Bassos

Theatre. 1041 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah. ukiahplayerstheatre.org.

p.m. 431 S. Main St., Ukiah. 467-2836. gracehudsonmuseum.org.

Santa Train. 1.25-hour Christmas

FREE Kelseyville Christmas in the Country. 4:30–9:30 p.m. Wagon

train with onboard music, games, entertainment & hot cocoa & freshly baked cookies. $49.99–$89.99. Runs thru Dec. 27. Blackout dates: Dec. 24 & 25. Napa Valley Wine Train.

1275 McKinstry St., Napa. Times & availability: winetrain.com/events/ santa-train. 800-427-4124.

Friday 6

rides start at 4:30 p.m. in downtown Kelseyville. Parade of Lights at 6:30 p.m. on Main St. followed by tree lighting & live music at Kelseyville Fire Department. 4020 Main St, Kelseyville. facebook.com/ visitkelseyville.

Saturday 7

FREE Tree Lighting & Sing-Along.

FREE Frantello Marionettes.

Tree lighting, carols & Santa. 6 p.m. Lower Lake School House and Museum. 16435 Main St., Lower Lake. facebook.com/ lowerlakeschoolhousemuseum.

Performing Prokoflev’s Peter & the Wolf. All-ages puppet show. 3–4 p.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. 964-2020. fortbragglibrary.org.

FREE La Pastorela: Un Gran Engaño (A Great Deception).

Photos with Santa. No appointment needed. Clip the ad in this issue to receive free extra set of wallets. Dec. 7: 3–5 p.m. Dec. 12 & 19: 3–6 p.m. Dec. 14: 12–2 p.m. Dec. 21: 11 a.m.–1 p.m.

Triple S Camera. 260 S. School St., Ukiah. 462-3163.

Spanish language, family theater retelling of the nativity story.

Performed by the School of Performing Arts. Dec. 6 & 7: 7 p.m. Doors: 6:30 p.m. First come, first served. Limited seats. SPACE Theater. 508 W. Perkins St., Ukiah. spaceperformingarts.org.

FREE Open House at the Grace Hudson Museum. Arts & crafts sales,

Winter Crafts Fair. Local artists & crafters, live music & crafts for kids.

11 a.m.–4 p.m. (Photos with Santa: 11 a.m.–2 p.m.) Redwood Valley Grange.

8650 East Rd., Redwood Valley.

seasonal refreshments & tours of the Sun House. Visits with Santa on Dec. 7. Dec. 6: 5–8 p.m. Dec 7: 10 a.m.–3

Children’s stories told in dramatic style by the Lake County Theatre

FREE Family Christmas Story Time.

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Company. Donations accepted. 6:30 p.m. Dec. 7–8: Clearlake Senior Center.

3245 Bowers Ave., Clearlake. (Sign language interpreter Dec. 7 only.) Dec. 14–15: United Christian Parish. 745 N. Brush St., Lakeport. laketheatre.org.

Christmas Concert: The Rothstein Experiment. Ugly Christmas sweaters

are welcome at this family-friendly evening of stories & songs. $10–$15.

Ages 12 & younger: free. 7 p.m. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. soperreesetheatre.com.

FREE Upper Lake Lights Parade.

Lights parade, tree lighting, holiday music, caroling & Santa. Tree lighting: 6 p.m. Parade: 6:30 p.m.

Redbud Park. 14655 Lakeshore Dr., Clearlake. lakecounty.com.

FREE Maker Space: Holiday Gift Jars. Make cocoa & cookie gift jars.

2–4:30 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. co.mendocino.ca.us/ library.

Sunday 8 FREE Festival of Lights’ Wheels & Carts Parade. Strollers, wagons,

bicycles & golf carts decorated with lights & holiday décor. 6:30 p.m. Greenview Restaurant. 19210 Hartmann Rd., Hidden Valley Lake. hvla.com.

FREE Lighted Boat Parade. 6–8 p.m.

Noyo Harbor, South Harbor launch ramp. Fort Bragg. visitfortbraggca.com.

2019 HOLIDAY TROLLEY

20th Annual North Coast Toy Run. 21 & older event. 12:30 p.m.:

Motorcycles process from the Harvest Market parking lot (Hwy. 1 & Hwy. 20, Fort Bragg). 1–4 p.m.: BBQ tri-tip dinner, drinks, raffle & live music by the Brown Brothers Blues Band at the Fort Bragg–Inglenook Community Center (26500 N. Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg).

FREE Christmas at the Lake. Parade

(from Redbud Park to Austin Park), tree lighting, pictures with Santa & hot chocolate. 4:30 p.m.: line up for parade.

Tree lighting to follow parade. Redbud Park. 14655 Lakeshore Dr., Clearlake.

Austin Park. 14077 Lakeshore Dr., Cearlake. lakecochamber. chambermaster.com.

RIDE FREE THURSDAY THROUGH SUNDAY, NOV. 29-DEC. 22 North

Celebrate the Holidays at the Pear Tree Center. Noon–4 p.m. Photos

with Santa start at 1 p.m. $5. (Take a photo with with your camera or phone for $2 donation.) Dec. 7: Santa arrival, noon. Choral performance, 1 p.m. Toy donations accepted all day. Dec. 8: free carriage rides. Pear Tree Plaza.

504 E. Perkins St., Ukiah. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

South Alex Thomas Plaza State St. State St.

St ate St .

Slam Dunk

Savings Bank

Pear Tree Center Perkins St.

S ta te S

t.

Holes in the Wall

El Azteca Restaurant Wal Mart

FULL HOLIDAY SCHEDULE AT: WWW.MENDOCINOTRANSIT.ORG December 2019

MendoLakeFamilyLife 23

FREE

KiDS EDUCATION & ENRICHMENT

EXPO

SATURDAY JANUARY 18 11 A.M.–3 P.M. • SANTA ROSA PLAZA MALL

THE ONLY EDUCATION FAIR IN THE NORTH BAY! Learn about top private & charter elementary schools & after-school activities. Meet representatives, admission directors & enrichment teachers!

To learn more call 707-205-1539.

Friday 13 Calpella Cubs Christmas Holiday Event. Santa, craft fair, goodies

& musical performances. 6–8 p.m.

Calpella Elementary Cubs PTO. 151 Moore St., Ukiah. facebook.com/ events/482627292461207.

Montessori Model United Nations International Culinary Feast.

Prepared by chef Carolen Barrett & students. Fundraiser supports Montessori Model United Nations student delegates’ trip to a conference in New York City. $60. 5:30–10 p.m.

Little River Inn. 7901 N. Hwy. 1, Little River. tickettailor.com/events/ montessoridelmarcommunityschool.

Danceology: This Body Dances!

a.m.–5 p.m. Twin Pine Casino. 22223 Hwy. 29, Middletown. twinpine.com.

More than 60 students, ages 8–27, perform. $5–$10. Dec. 14: 3 & 7 p.m. Dec. 15: 3 p.m. SPACE Theater. 508 W. Perkins St., Ukiah. spaceperformingarts.org.

FREE Christmas in Middletown.

Santa arrives on a fire truck.

Walking Christmas trees, pony rides, kids’ arts & crafts. 4–8 p.m. Downtown Middletown. middletownareamerchants.com.

FREE Holiday Faire. Vendors, artisans, crafts, hot cider, snacks & pictures with Santa. Dec. 14 & 15: 11

CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS AT

FREE Special Needs Advocacy & Parental Support (SNAPS) Group.

Perkins and 101 in Ukiah

Parent/caregiver support meeting.

11 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Clearlake Youth Center. 4750 Golf Ave., Clearlake. facebook.com/snapslakecountyca.

Santa Arrives Saturday, December 7, at Noon By a Calstar Helicopter

Lux Radio Theatre’s Miracle on 34th Street. ’40s-style radio show played

out on the stage. $17. Dec. 13: 7:30 p.m. Mendocino Theatre Company.

45200 Little Lake St., Mendocino. mendocinotheatre.org.

The Snow Queen. Based

on the Hans Christian Andersen story. $8–$16. 4 & younger: free. Dec. 13–14 & 20-21: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 15 & 22: 3 p.m. Eagles Hall. 210 N. Corry St., Fort Bragg. gloriana.org.

Saturday 14 Clara’s Dream & Les Patineurs.

Two-act dance Mendocino Ballet performance. $18–$25. Ages 18 & younger: $10. (Tickets $5 more at door.) Dec. 14: 7 p.m. Dec. 15: 2 p.m.

Cotton Auditorium. 500 N. Harold St., Fort Bragg. facebook.com/ MendocinoBallet.

Between Kohl’s and JC Penney

Santa Photos $5

Or take your own photo with your camera or phone for a $2 Donation

All proceeds go to New Life Community Church Youth Group

Every Saturday and Sunday 1–4 PM

At the store between ATT and Rod’s Shoes

December 7, Noon–4PM

Toys for Tots - Accepting Donations

Saturday, December 7, 1PM

Ukiah Vocal Department Chorus brings you the music of the season.

Under the direction of Joshua Small

Sunday, December 8 Noon – 4PM

FREE CARRIAGE RIDES

By Carriage Occasions Carriage boards at South Entrance of JC Penney

Ride the Holiday Trolley. Added security for your safety. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

December 2019

MendoLakeFamilyLife 25

FREE Community Christmas Celebration. Free ham dinner.

Each child will receive a toy & photo with Santa. Free health screenings. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Burns Valley Elementary School. 3620 Pine St., Clearlake. facebook.com/ rotary-club-of-clear-lake-california.

Hopland Hikes: Seasonal Greetings Hike & Wreaths. After a short walk,

make a wreath using local foliage. $25.

10 a.m.–noon. Hopland Research & Extension Center. 4070 University Rd., Hopland. Register: tinyurl.com/ wm8l9o2.

FREE Christmas at the Ranch. Local

cider & visits with Santa Claus. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Anderson Marsh State Historic Park. Off Hwy. CA-53 N. Anderson Ranch Pkwy., Lower Lake. andersonmarsh.org.

FREE Wreaths Across America.

There will be ceremonies to honor veterans across America. Local events take place at Hartley Cemetery, Lakeport; Lower Lake Cemetery, Lower Lake; Russian River Cemetery District, Ukiah; Middletown Cemetery District, Middletown; Rose Memorial, Fort Bragg; & Cemetery District of the Redwoods, Willits. 9 a.m. wreathsacrossamerica.org.

musicians, holiday songs, cookies &

FREE Willits Holiday Craft Fair. Dec.

14: 10 a.m.–7 p.m. Dec. 15: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Willits Community Center.

111 E. Commercial St., Willits.

Children’s Craft Fair: Dec. 14: 10:30 a.m.–3 p.m. at Willits Center for the Arts. 71 E. Commercial St., Willits. willitscenterforthearts.org.

Sunday 15 Two Sopranos: Songs of Nature & Passion. $25. Ages 17 &

younger: free. 3 p.m. Preston Hall. 44867 Main St., Mendocino. symphonyoftheredwoods.org.

FREE Afternoon Crafting: Holiday Dream Catchers. Create holiday

dream catchers. All materials provided (while supplies last). 1–3 p.m.

Mendocino County Museum. 400 E. Commercial St., Willits. facebook. com/mendocinocountymuseum.

FREE The Glory of Christmas. A Christmas pageant for the whole family. A free will offering will be taken. 3 & 6 p.m Ukiah SDA Church.

1390 Laurel Ave., Ukiah. myuja.org.

Friday 20 The Nutcracker. Presented by Mendocino Ballet. $18–$20. Ages 17 & younger: $10. Tickets are $5 extra at the door. Dec. 20: 7 p.m.

Dec. 21: 2 & 7 p.m. Dec. 22: 2 p.m. Mendocino College Theatre.

1000 Hensley Creek Rd., Ukiah. mendocinoballet.org.

Songs of the Season

C

arols and a “Hallelujah Chorus” sing-along are favorites of many holiday concerts. But the Lake County Symphony Christmas Celebration will have something new and different to offer: original work by local composer Camm Linden featuring his mother, Jude Darrin, as a soloist. The Sing Napa Valley Chorus, the Lake County Symphony Youth Orchestra, and a sign language interpreter will round out the performance. The concert will be held on December 22 at 2 p.m. at Soper Reese Theatre in Lakeport.

Admission is $25–$30. A dress rehearsal will be held prior to the concert at 11 a.m. for $5 or free for ages 18 and younger. To purchase tickets, go to soperreesetheatre.com. ¶

26 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Saturday 21 Santa Con Ukiah. Dress up like Santa & bring a toy donation to participating bars & restaurants.

7–10 p.m. Downtown Ukiah. facebook.com/mendocinobounty.

FREE Wild About Wolves. A day of wolf-oriented activities for kids & adults. Story time: 10:30 a.m. Crafts: 11 a.m. Adult program: 2–3 p.m. Fort

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Bragg Library. 499 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. fortbragglibrary.org.

Restaurant. 9520 Main St., Upper Lake. tallmanhotel.com.

Sunday 22 FREE Sing Out! 12th Annual Sing-Along. Carols, cookies & hot cider. Children welcome. 3:30 p.m.

Ukiah First Presbyterian Church.

Dora & Perkins Streets, Ukiah.

468-9235.

Lake County Symphony Christmas Celebration. Dress rehearsal: 11 a.m.

$5. Ages 18 & younger: free. Concert: 2 p.m. $25–$30. Soper Reese Theatre.

275 S. Main St., Lakeport. 263-0577. soperreesetheatre.com.

Saturday 28 Window to the Universe at Taylor Observatory. $5. Lake County

students K–12: free. Lecture & planetarium show: 8–9 p.m. Telescope viewing: 9–11:30 p.m. 5725 Oak Hills Ln., Kelseyville. friendsoftaylor.org.

Tuesday 31 New Year’s Eve Dance Party.

Christmas Eve at the Blue Wing.

Featuring Mama Grows Funk.

Potluck. Bring appetizers, desserts & beverages. Advance: $25. Door: $30.

Volunteers needed. 8:30 p.m. Caspar Community Center. 15051 Caspar Rd., Caspar. 964-4997. casparcommons.org.

Majide trio performs jazz music while dinner is served. 6–8 p.m. Blue Wing

New York New Year’s Eve Party. Special menu, live jazz

Tuesday 24

9 p.m. when the ball drops in New York City. 6–9:30 p.m. Blue Wing Restaurant. 9520 Main St., Upper Lake. Reservations required: 275-2233. tallmanhotel.com.

New Year’s Eve Dance Party. LC Diamonds. Tickets include unlimited savory appetizers, party favors & champagne toast at midnight. No-host bar. $40. 8 p.m. Soper Reese Theatre.

275 S. Main St., Lakeport. 263-0577. soperreesetheatre.com.

FREE Twin Pine New Year’s Eve Celebration. SuperBad performs

a variety of musical styles ranging from ’70s, ’80s, ’90s & today. 9–11:45 p.m. Twin Pine Casino. 22223 CA-29, Middletown. twinpine.com.

music. Celebrate the New Year at

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• What did you like in this issue?

• What do you want to see more or less of?

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email melissa@family-life.us www.mendolakefamilylife.com

December 2019

MendoLakeFamilyLife 27

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Marketplace Preschools

Schools

Give Your Give Child a Head Start!

integrated with academics Near Brookside School at ✓ Referrals for transportation available Free & Low-Cost Spruce St. & Lincoln Way  National Green Campus Quality Preschool!

• Lake County Also providing FREE in-home services for

Danceology: This Body Dances!

 Promotes responsibility, Upper Lake - 2nd Street infants, toddlers & pregnant women!

Head Start Child Development Program

D

ance can provide an outlet for children who have a lot of energy, and for those who are more sedentary, motivation to move. SPACE School for Performing Arts has been teaching kids to dance since 1995. It’s latest show, Danceology: This Body Dances!, features more than 60 students ages 8–27 in a choreographed production that communicates the importance of health and well-being. Performances will be held on December 14 at 3 and 7 p.m. and December 15 at 3 p.m. at  SPACE in Ukiah. Admission is $10 for adults and $5 for ages 17 and younger. Purchase tickets at spaceperformingarts.org. ¶

(707)Development 462-2582 Program License #230111843 Child Applications online: www.ncoinc.org • (707) 462-2582

Support Local Artists

uying local doesn’t just mean shopping on Main Street.

It also means going to craft fairs, such as the Willits Holiday Craft Fair, which the Willits Center for the Arts has put on for more than 30 years. The fair gives a place for local makers and artists to sell wares such as wood-turned bowls, hand-tooled leather, silver jewelry, handmade glass, and original watercolors. This year it will be held on December 14, 10 a.m.–7 p.m., and December 15, 10 a.m.–4 p.m., at the Willits Community Center in Willits. On December 14, 10:30 a.m.–3:30 p.m., an expanded Children’s Craft Fair, at which kids will both make and sell crafts, will take up the entire second floor of the Willits Center for the Arts in Willits.

Admission is free to both events. See willitscenterforthearts.org for more information. ¶

• Coastnorth end of Fairgrounds Fort Bragg - Lincoln St. PO Box 966 Ukiah 95482

treeoflifeschool@pacific.net www.treeoflifeschool.net

Accelerated Achievement  Academy 

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Willits Holiday Craft Fair

Lakeport - Howard Ave. Clearlake - Pearl Ave. ClearlakeLocated - Meadowbrookon Dr.

707-462-0913

Find a School or After-School Activity in our Online Directories MendoLakeFamilyLife.com

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Humor Break The Childhood Friend You Haven’t Seen in Years Even though you know she won’t judge you because she’s seen you at your worst (e.g. crying at that the New Kids on the Block concert), you’ll want to clean anyway. But despite your best efforts, you will still find yourself immediately confessing when she arrives, “I ran out of time to mop the floors!” Luckily, she’ll hug you and let you know that she does not care at all, and you’ll know she’s telling you the truth.

A Little Dirt Won’t Hurt

A Practical Guide for Holiday Housecleaning

By Meredith Ethington

T

he holidays bring visitors and that means getting out the mop and the vacuum cleaner. But just how clean does the house have to be? Refer to my handy guide for help:

with children, then he will just be glad a kid is not stepping on his face at 6:30 a.m. Clorox wipes in the bathroom and a few squirts of Febreeze are about all that’s required.

The Less than 24-Hour Notice Guest If someone is not nice enough to give you 24-hours notice, immediately lower your standards.

Sure, pull out a set of clean sheets, but it’s OK to use the ones that are a little scratchy in the middle. Drop hints like, “Oh if you had let me know you were coming, I would have had my 3,000 thread-count sheets clean for you.”

This may help avoid future sudden drop-ins.

The Sister Now, in general, I would say that no cleaning is required whatsoever if you are close with your sister. However, we know that sisters do secretly judge each other’s cleanliness, so you will probably want to go almost all-out anyway. Give the bathroom a proper washing and make sure the microwave is splatter-less, but don’t worry about the smudges on the windows. In the end, you know she’ll help you clean your stove if necessary, and she will, no matter what, come back. While she’s there, you’ll secretly wish you were allowed a sister-wife.

The Brother Brothers don’t care; they are fine with a pillow and a blanket. If your brother is married 30 MendoLakeFamilyLife

The Mothers This, the highest level of cleaning, is required when your mother or mother-in-law is coming to stay with you. You must wipe smudges off of windows, clean baseboards, and vacuum up those corner cobwebs that frankly you had never even noticed before. Most likely, you will fall over from exhaustion before you get to actually achieve the level of cleaning you’d like. It is, after all, totally out of the norm for you to check every surface for fingerprints.

Since it’s impossible to actually finish everything you suddenly see through new eyes (i.e. hers) you will pray the entire time she’s there that she never has to lift up a couch cushion or look under a bed for anything.

There are definitely more scenarios to consider, such as the visit from a friend of a friend or from a cousin.

The best advice I can give is this: As soon as would-be-guests utter the words, “I’m going to be in town” blurt out, “Oh I know the best hotel just a mile from my house.” Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

Meredith Ethington is the author of the parenting blog Perfection Pending (perfectionpending.net) and the book Mom Life: Perfection Pending.

December 2019 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

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