Mendo Lake Family Life November 2015

mendo lake FREE!

November 2015

Twin Talk Advice on multiples

Start-up Stars Help locals thrive

12 Great Gifts The NAPPA guide

Give Thanks 5 steps to gratitude

UKIAH UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT LEARN • INSPIRE • CREATE • GROW • COMMUNICATE • COLLABORATE • DEVELOP • INNOVATE

rming Arts o f r e P al & u s i V 12 n • K-

atio c u d E l a Career Technic

GREAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING AT UKIAH UNIFIED

Band is Back • Art is Back Chorus is Back ENROLL NOW! KINDERGARTEN & INDEPENDENT STUDY From Movement & Performing Arts classes with SPACE, to over 30 Career Pathways Courses, we’re engaging our youth and helping them create One-To-One their future!

Chrome Book Pilot Program 511 S. Orchard Ave. • 707-472-5000 • www.uusd.net at Pomolita

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y y m m s s t t u u p p s s y y a a aallww ! ! t t s s r r i i f f n n e e r r d d l l i i cchh Jeremy JeremyMann, Mann,M.D. M.D.| Pediatrician | Pediatrician Ukiah UkiahValley ValleyRural RuralHealth HealthCenter Center

Get GetConnected Connectedtotoprimary primaryand andspecialty specialtycare carewhere whereyou youlive! live!

Dr.Mann Mannhas hasbeen beenmy mypreferred preferredpediatric pediatricphysician physicianforforthe thepast past1111years. years.I am I amalways always ““Dr.confident confidentwhen whenI take I takemy mychildren childrentotosee seeDr. Dr.Mann Mannthat thatthey theywill willbebewell welltaken takencare careof.of.

He Heputs putschildren childrenand andtheir theirparents parentsatatease easewith withhis hispatience, patience,thoroughness, thoroughness,and andhumor. humor. ”” —— Melissa Melissa Cramer Cramer

Fort FortBragg Bragg

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Ukiah Ukiah Valley Valley Medical Medical Specialties Specialties

Fort Fort Bragg Bragg Rural Rural Health Health Center Center

Adventist Adventist Heart Heart Institute Institute

Primary Primary and and Specialty Specialty Care Care 850 850 Sequoia Sequoia Circle Circle | Fort | Fort Bragg, Bragg, CACA 95437 95437 707.964.0259 707.964.0259

Cardiology Cardiology 115 115 Hospital Hospital Drive Drive | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.463.2400 707.463.2400

Lakeport Lakeport

Mendocino Mendocino Family Family Care Care

Orthopedics Orthopedics and and Physical Physical Medicine Medicine 260 260 Hospital Hospital Dr., Dr., Suite Suite 107 107 | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.467.5278 707.467.5278 Gastroenterology Gastroenterology 415 415 Hospital Hospital Drive Drive | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.467.5275 707.467.5275 General, General, Bariatric, Bariatric, Plastic Plastic and and Cosmetic Cosmetic Surgery Surgery 246 246 Hospital Hospital Drive Drive | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.463.8011 707.463.8011 Ear, Ear, Nose, Nose, and and Throat Throat 1165 1165 S.S. Dora Dora St., St., Ste. Ste. C-2 C-2 | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.462.8855 707.462.8855 Ophthalmology Ophthalmology and and Optometry Optometry 1165 1165 S.S. Dora Dora St,St, Ste. Ste. B-1 B-1 | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.467.5218 707.467.5218 Ophthalmology Ophthalmology 248-B 248-B Hospital Hospital Drive Drive | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.467.5250 707.467.5250

Adventist Adventist Heart Heart Institute Institute Cardiology Cardiology 475 475 N.N. Forbes Forbes St.St. | Lakeport, | Lakeport, CACA 95453 95453 707.263.6346 707.263.6346

Lakeport Lakeport Rural Rural Health Health Center Center Pediatrics Pediatrics and and Internal Internal Medicine Medicine 487 487 S.S. Main Main Street Street | Lakeport, | Lakeport, CACA 95453 95453 707.263.4360 707.263.4360

Willits Willits Redwood Redwood Medical Medical Clinic Clinic Family Family Medicine Medicine 8888 Madrone Madrone | Willits, | Willits, CACA 95490 95490 707.459.6115 707.459.6115

Family Family Medicine Medicine 115 115 Hospital Hospital Drive Drive | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.463.1900 707.463.1900

Ukiah Ukiah Valley Valley Rural Rural Health Health Center Center Allergy Allergy Oncology Oncology Behavioral Behavioral Health Health Pain Pain Management Management Family Family Medicine Medicine Pediatrics Pediatrics Internal Internal Medicine Medicine Urology Urology Ophthalmology Ophthalmology 260 260 Hospital Hospital Drive Drive | Ukiah | Ukiah CA, CA, 95482 95482 707.463.8000 707.463.8000 Womens Womens Health Health 1050 1050 N.N. State State Street Street | Ukiah, | Ukiah, CACA 95482 95482 707.462.2945 707.462.2945

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November 2015

Every Issue

8 Features

6

Dear Reader

7

Bits and Pieces Mushroom Madness Musical Vitamins Horse Around at Fall Festival Benefit Helps Abused Kids

7

22 Calendar of Events Tree Magic

8 12 Great Gifts for Giving

12 Healthy, Wealthy & Happy

Find the perfect presents.

10 Twin Talk Help for parenting multiples.

Nonprofit helps local family start-up.

14 I Won’t Leave You How a mom helped her adopted child learn to trust again.

28 Cooking with Kids Pint-sized Chefs

29 Crafting with Kids Turkey Time

30 Humor Break

16 Guerilla Nutrition Sneaky ways to get picky eaters to expand their palettes.

18 Gratitude for Grownups Make thankfulness an everyday affair.

10 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife

20 Lessons in Compassion Organize a family service project.

12

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

giveExtended Holiday Shopping Hours Beginning Friday, November 27 Monday - Saturday 9am to 9 pm • Sunday 9am to 6pm Christmas Eve - 9am to 5pm • Christmas Day - Closed Saturday, December 26 - 9am to 6pm

gifts

enjoy

Santa and Mrs. Claus

playBeginning Saturday, November 28, Santa and Mrs. Claus will be in their Photo Studio in Village Terrace every weekend from 11am to 3pm.

All proceeds benefit local non-profit organizations.

The Holiday Stroll

give

Sunday, November 29 • 9am to 6pm Festive holiday entertainment that includes music, merriment and more! Plus special holiday treats and discounts at over 30 participating stores. It’s sure to put you in a holiday mood. Visit www.mvshops.com for event details.

gifts

Light Up A Life Thursday, December 3 • 5pm to 6:30pm Please join us at Santa’s Village in Village Terrace for the Heartland Hospice Tree Lighting Ceremony and help to light up lives, cherish memories and celebrate our communtiy.

give gifts

enjoy play

Chanukah Festival Sunday, December 6 • 4 pm in Village Court The Chabad Jewish Center invites you to Celebrate Chanukah.

Join us for a Menorah Lighting Celebration.

Hot Latkes, Live Music, Dreidels, Gelt, Prizes and More.

For information, call 707.577-0277.

The Secret Santa Marathon Thursday, December 17 • Village Court While wrapping up your holiday shopping and enjoying the strolling entertainment, help us fulfill every last Secret Santa wish from our neighbors in need. For more information about Secret Santa, call 707.573.3399.

give gifts

A PREMIER HOLIDAY SHOPPING EXPERIENCE

COMPLIMENTARY PARKING HIGHWAY 12 AT FARMERS LANE IN SANTA ROSA

WWW.MVSHOPS.COM

707.545.3844

Dear Reader ‘Tis the season for counting blessings, and our readers are definitely one of ours! Thank you for making Mendo Lake Family Life Sharon Gowan Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us

the #1 lifestyle magazine for local parents!

What are you grateful for? If you are having trouble answering that question, read “Gratitude for Grownups” (page 18) for tips on focusing on what brings you joy.

Sometimes the best way to express thankfulness is to do something for someone else. You can help lots of people when you participate in an international service project with your family. See “Lessons in Compassion” (page 20) for ideas.

The folks at the Economic Development and Financing Corporation have made giving back a local affair. Since 1995, they have been figuring out ways to make Mendocino County an economically vital place for young families to raise their kids. Read about their latest effort, raising capital for a wool entrepreneur and father of four, in “Healthy, Wealthy & Happy” (page 12).

Office Manager Patricia Ramos patty@family-life.us

Business Marketing Renee Nutcher renee@family-life.us Jolie Cook jolie@family-life.us

We hope your Thanksgiving season is full of much joy and many reasons to be grateful. Thanks for being one of our loyal readers!

Marie Anderson marie@family-life.us

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Calendar Patricia Ramos

Contributing Writers Lynn Adams Alexa Bigwarfe Amy Fothergill Bull Garlington Christina Katz Julie Kertes Rachael Moshman Jan Pierce

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

Family health care for all of Lake County.

sutterlakeside.org

6 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Hospital Services 707-262-5000 Community Clinic 707-263-6885 After Hours Care 707-262-5088

Publishing Office 134 Lystra Court, Suite A Santa Rosa, CA 95403 Tel (707) 586-9562 Fax (707) 586-9571

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Bits & Pieces

Mushroom Madness

I

t’s mushroom season in Mendocino County, which is home to more than 3,000 varieties of the fungi. You can taste some of them at the Mendocino Mushroom, Wine, and Beer Festival, November 6–15. The festival will entertain with mushroom dinners, wine-and-beer-pairing workshops, cooking classes, musical performances, exhibits, and even guided mushroom foraging, all at venues throughout the county. Try candy cap mushroom ice cream (tastes like caramel and pralines) at Cowlick’s Ice Cream Parlor in Fort Bragg, hunt for mushrooms by horseback, or eat a medicinal mushroom breakfast at Stanford Inn in Mendocino—just a few of the many activities available. See mendocino.com to download a complete brochure. ¶

Musical Vitamins

G

et your dose of Bs—Beethoven, Borodin, and Bruch—at the Symphony of the Redwoods fall concert. Borodin’s Overture to Prince Igor; Beethoven’s Symphony No. 4 in B-flat Major, Op. 60; and Bruch’s Violin Concerto No. 1 in G Minor, Op. 26 will all be on the menu. The event will be held on November 14 at 8 p.m. and November 15 at 2 p.m. at Cotton Auditorium in Fort Bragg. Admission is $20 and youth under 18 are free. Purchase tickets at symphonyoftheredwoods.org. ¶

Horse Around at Fall Festival

F

rolic your way through autumn at the Fall Festival at the Ukiah Junior Academy in Ukiah on November 1, noon–4 p.m. Peruse craft booths, take a horseback ride, or watch the kids get up close and personal with critters at the Farm Animal Petting Zoo. Let little ones jump around in a bouncy house, get their faces painted in sparkly colors, and then go play carnival games. Break for a meal of homemade tamales and enchiladas, and then go have some more fun. See myuja.org for more information. ¶

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Benefit Helps Abused Kids

T

he plight of traumatized children tears at our collective hearts. You can help by attending the Fourth Annual Sips, Eats & Sweets, a benefit to support abused kids served

by Court Appointed Special Advocates of Mendocino and Lake Counties. Come sip wine and nosh on savories and sweets on November 8, 4–6:30 p.m., at Barra of Mendocino Winery in Redwood Valley. You must be 21 or older to attend. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 at the door, and may be purchased at the Mendocino Book Company in Ukiah or by calling 463-6503. ¶

November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 7

30 12

h Annivers a r y 25t

WINNER

GREAT GIFTS for

GIVING

A Collection of NAPPA winners

By Julie Kertes

Deciding whether a toy, book, game or album will make a good holiday gift can be a daunting task involving a taxing list of questions. Is it made well? It is age appropriate? Will it last? Will the child like it? Most importantly, is it fun?

For the last 25 years, the National Parenting Publications Awards (NAPPA) has made it our business to answer those questions for you. Our expert judges and parent and kid testers play with and evaluate hundreds of products each year and choose only the best of the best to receive the NAPPA seal. We’ve put together a sampling of winners below, all of which were recognized for their quality, durability and, of course, the “fun” factor.

See more of our winners at NAPPAawards.com, or download the free family organizer app from Cozi and view them on your mobile device.

Worry Eaters by The Haywire Group are great little friends who’ll eat up your worries when times get tough.

8 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Joe Gonzales Photography, www.joegonzales.net Joe Gonzales Photography, www.joegonzales.net

Worry Eaters by The Haywire Group are great little friends who’ll eat up your worries when times get tough.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Toys & Games

Colorforms Big Wall Playset Colorforms, $29.99, www.Colorforms.com, Ages 3 and up

Don’t Dump Dumpty Game BeginAgain, $30, www.beginagaintoys.com, Ages 2 and up

Alphabet Learning Locks Lakeshore, $29.99, www.LakeshoreLearning.com, Ages 3-7

Hello Kitty Karaoke Kar by Dynacraft Dynacraft, $199.99, www.dynacraftbike.com, Ages 3 and up

Jr. Jump ‘n Slide Bouncer Little Tikes, $199.99, www.littletikes.com, Ages 2-8

Glow Show Sticker Launcher

Moose Toys, $24.99, www.buyglowshow.com, Ages 5 and up

Minons Bike with Fart Blaster by Dynacraft Dynacraft, $89.99, www.dynacraftbike.com, Ages 4-8

Ninja Control Leonardo

Playmates Toys, $59.99, www.playmatestoys.com, Ages 4 and up

Roominate Amusement Park

Oribel, $149, www.loveoribel.com/us, Ages 18 months and up

Shape Whiz

SimplyFun, $24, www.SimplyFun.com, Ages 10 and up

Roominate, $49.99, www.roominatetoy.com, Ages 8 and up

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

PortaPlay

November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 9

Twin Talk

“One baby may get more nutrition than the other. Or some of the blood vessels of the placenta may start to merge, and one baby may get more blood flow than the other, so the mom might end up with a c-section,” says Morales.

What to Expect with Multiples

By Jamie Lober

W

hen parents are first told they are expecting twins (and thanks to reproductive technologies, a growing number are), their reactions likely range from shock and excitement to intense anxiety—how are we going to manage this?! As they prepare for their new arrivals, they may encounter a number of misconceptions, from what twins are suppose to look like to how they should behave. And there are challenges, too: Carrying, delivering, and raising two babies instead of one can be more difficult. Fortunately, there is help— and plenty of adorable delight—along the way.

First, the word twins often brings to mind the image of identical kids—two babies who look exactly alike and grow up to play “switcheroo” pranks on teachers and dates. We forget about fraternal twins, who don’t look alike, but who still grow in the same womb and share the same birthday.

monozygotic twins, emerge from a single fertilized egg that divides, says Dr. Jose Morales, chief of pediatrics at Kaiser Permanente Santa Rosa Medical Center in Santa Rosa. In the case of dizygotic, or fraternal, twins, two eggs are fertilized at the same time and develop separately.

The key difference between identical and fraternal twins is all about the moment of conception. Identical, or

While vintage 1970s Wrigley Doublemint gum commercials had twins touting the gum’s slogan “double

10 MendoLakeFamilyLife

the fun,” carrying and delivering twins may not end up being such a good time. With any twin pregnancy, there is a risk of prematurity as well as complications caused by the extra weight and energy it takes to create two beings. Delivery can be tricky.

Just because you are carrying twins doesn’t mean you’ll end up having a cesarean, though. A 2013 New England Journal of Medicine study of women carrying twins found that 56.2 percent of those who planned to birth vaginally did so.

It’s important to respect twins’ differences and not necessarily treat them like a unit.

“It’s a good study that should reassure women who want a vaginal delivery and their obstetricians that it’s a reasonable and safe option,” said Dr. Michael Greene, chief of obstetrics at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, in a WebMD article.

When you go home with your new bundles of joy, you may feel overwhelmed. Moms of twins are at higher risk for fatigue, depression, and financial stress. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a family member,

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

friend, counselor, or support group for extra emotional help. Morales suggests Sonoma County Mothers of Multiples (scmom.org), a group of local moms who get together for play dates with their kids, participate in online discussion forums, and hand out advice on topics like breastfeeding, sibling relationships, and toilet

Just because you are carrying twins doesn’t mean you’ll end up having a cesarean. training. The group also has programs that provide gently used clothing and meals to needy families.

As you begin to raise your twins, it’s important to respect and even celebrate their differences, and not necessarily treat them like a unit. Each will respond differently to feeding methods, discipline techniques, sleep or potty training, says Morales, and they may not meet developmental milestones at the same time.

“As they get older, one may become shyer or another may become more rambunctious; one may talk early and another [won’t] like to talk,” he says.

In terms of their relationship with each other, twins may emphasize their similarities sometimes and then want to differentiate from each other at other times.

For instance, Morales recalls working with one pair of identical twins who would sit in his office holding hands, laughing at and responding to the same things. They “always want[ed] to be together,” he says. But this kind of www.mendolakefamilylife.com

behavior may not always exist or if it does, continue.

“In my practice now, I have a boy and girl twins who are teenagers. They like to be individuals so they go to separate classrooms, have different friend groups, and often do not tell their friends at first that they are twins,” observes Morales.

Theresa Story, mother of twin boys and service director at Kaiser Permanente Santa Rosa Medical Center, found her sons wen through periods of togetherness and also differentiation.

“When they were younger they enjoyed the idea of being twins.

[They] told me once they pulled one of those little stinker things and faked out their teachers,” says Story. Now they are freshmen at two different colleges. “The boys did an excellent job of developing on their own. One is outgoing and got into school politics; [he] was valedictorian at his middle school and class president all four years in high school. The other brother is scary smart but chose to become editor of his yearbook. They both played varsity basketball,” she explains.

Never

Underestimate the Power of the Purse Moms typically control 80% or more of their household budgets They’re looking right here, to find you.

Call now. Don’t miss another month.

If you are nervous about having twins, Story offers reassurance: “Do not be afraid. They are just wonderful to have.”

Be as prepared as possible by talking to your doctor and getting acquainted with local resources and support groups. Then enjoy the ride! © 2015 Jamie Lober. Author of Pink Power, Lober has a passion for health promotion and disease prevention. She can be reached at jamie@getpinkpower.com.

November 2015

IN PRINT • ONLINE • EVENTS • CONTESTS

586-9562

MendoLakeFamilyLife.com MendoLakeFamilyLife 11

Wool entrepreneur Matthew Gilbert with a just-shorn sheep.

Healthy, Wealthy & Happy A Local Nonprofit Invests in Families

M

argaret Meade famously said that the only thing that has ever changed the world are “thoughtful, committed citizens.” As they work to make Mendocino County a place for families to thrive, John Kuhry and the Economic Development and Financing Corporation (EDFC) in Ukiah, and the community members with whom they work, seem to be just those kinds of people.

The EDFC is a 501(c)(3) Community Development Financial Institution that, since 1995, has been figuring out creative ways to invest in the local economy and help it and the community grow. Most recently, the nonprofit has had its hands in two up-and-coming community projects in Ukiah that seek to benefit local families.

The first involves an unlikely collaboration with a faith organization—the Ukiah United Methodist Church—which has been looking for a new way to both make use of a two-story, 7,500 square-foot building and raise money for sanctuary renovations.

12 MendoLakeFamilyLife

“You really need to cultivate entrepreneurs locally.” —John Kuhry The building, a separate structure from the church, was first erected in the 1970s with the intention that it would house a child development and education center. It has since filled many functions, including its current use as a home for a nonprofit that serves mentally ill adults.

However, the existing arrangement makes poor use of the structure’s ample space and is not economically beneficial. So the church decided it was time to look at different ways to use the building and still serve the community. After doing a feasibility study, the congregation overwhelmingly supported the idea of turning the space into a nonprofit center and child-care facility, with the aim that a portion of the funds from renting out the center, in addition to money collected from a fundraising campaign, would help the church pay for needed renovations.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

The congregation was very enthusiastic about “the center and getting ourselves financially stable and embracing the community in the process,” says Peter Barrett, husband of the church’s pastor, Judy Shook.

Once the decision to create a center was made, the church invited several nonprofits to a meeting to discuss the potential use of the building’s 12 rooms. John Kuhry, EDFC executive director, showed up very excited.

He had been looking for a place to set up a co-working space for local entrepreneurs for a long time, and thought that the building’s second floor would be a great place to set one up. This was especially true given the church’s plans to house a child-care facility on the first floor—a boon for single parents who may often work in isolation at home.

“I have long been an advocate of trying to do an entrepreneur hub because, more than likely…we aren’t going to attract another Fortune 500 company,” Kuhry says. “You really need to cultivate entrepreneurs locally.

Entrepreneurs don’t only need money… they need networking, they need programming, they need space that is low cost, and they need technical assistance. These types of things should be done in a nonprofit center.”

Kuhry was sold. The EDFC’s new co-working facility at the nonprofit center will be up and running in early November.

“I think…this is a great model of how a faith organization and an economic development organization can help create a more robust community,” he says. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

So what kind of entrepreneur does Kuhry envision working with at the new space and in general?

Meet Matthew Gilbert, a 29-year-old Mendocino County native, sheepshearer, husband, and father Ukiah United Methodist Church

The EDFC is raising capital by trying something completely new in the world of California nonprofits: a Direct Public Offering (DPO).

Because Gilbert is young and lacks equity, he would be turned down for a standard loan. And even if he qualified, he would not be able to afford typical interest rates. Young families like Gilbert’s, who can’t acquire regular capital, are the kind of people EDFC assists.

For Gilbert’s venture, the EDFC is raising capital by trying something completely new in the world of California nonprofits: a Direct Public Offering (DPO). The fund is unique in that investors don’t have to be particularly wealthy or accredited to participate. Investors can give as little as $1,000 to the DPO, which has already raised $153,000, with the goal of reaching $250,000 by the end of January. The money raised will not only benefit Gilbert, but other future community projects.

“This is an opportunity for young people like Matthew Gilbert and Sarah Gilbert to be able to make a living doing something with our resource-based economy instead of leaving [the area],” says Kuhry.

By helping parents like the Gilberts to make money and provide opportunities for their families right in Mendocino County, Kuhry and the EDFC hope to achieve their ultimate objective: “happy, healthy kids”—ones who will have jobs in their hometowns when they grow up.

of four who wants to start a wool mill in Ukiah. Right now, Gilbert works four jobs to make ends meet.

The mill would not only provide him with a solid living, it would also create new jobs for mill workers and support local ranchers and artisans.

He and his wife, fiber artist Sarah Gilbert, have been working out the logistics of the project for years.

As the new co-working facility opens and the DPO keeps attracting investors, it’s a vision that just may become a reality. And Kuhry and the EDFC will have succeeded in changing this little piece of the world.

“Everything is in place except for funding,” he says.

To find out more about the EDFC, see edfc.org. ¶

November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 13

’ Won t

I Leave You

Helping an Adopted Daughter Heal

W

By Rachael Moshman

e adopted our daughter through the foster care system when she was nine years old. My husband and I knew she had been through years of poverty, abuse, neglect, and abandonment, and that parenting her would be a challenge. We also felt we could handle it and that she would heal.

At the time we started the adoption process, she had been through at least 13 placements and had entered a group facility. My husband and I worked to bring her home the entire six months she was there. We read through and signed mountains of paper work, made updates to our home study, did background checks, and waded through a ton of red tape.

We were chosen to be her parents in November but didn’t get to meet her until May. I would grind my teeth at night because I was so anxious to bring her home. I already felt that she was 100 percent my daughter, my baby.

14 MendoLakeFamilyLife

When we finally got to see her, I was amazed at how tiny she was!

She was so much smaller than she looked in the photos we’d been sent.

She had huge, dark brown eyes that were filled with fear, and her hair had been greased up—the agency’s remedy for a lice problem.

We were immediately smitten. We played dress up and tea party. We did crafts, read storybooks, and snuggled—a lot. I picked her up and carried her often, even when people scoffed at how ridiculous it was to treat a nine-year-old that way. Given how many times she had been bounced around, I think her

willingness to let herself get close to us was extremely brave!

Within a matter of months, she went from little girl to a full-blown Justin Bieber–loving, training bra–wearing, lip-glossed tween. I was grateful that we had had a short window of opportunity to work on attachment before puberty came knocking at the door.

The next five years were not easy. She had an alphabet soup of mental health diagnoses, and it didn’t take much for her to get upset. Her “mad” was big.

She could spend up to an hour hiding in her closet screaming like she was in a horror movie. We tried therapy through several mental health agencies, but none seemed to understand the connection between trauma and attachment.

I did my best to help her. I lived and breathed therapeutic parenting and attachment issues. I constantly looked for new techniques and ways to

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Sonoma County Airport support her healing. I gave her words for her feelings and told her about other kids with “hurt parts” like her.

I repeated things like, “Stop, take a deep breath, and relax” and, “You’re safe, you’re loved, you can handle this.”

Even though she refused to talk about her past, my husband and I both let

I think her willingness to let herself get close to us was extremely brave!

As she started to process her past, the behavior challenges actually increased. Our first Easter together was especially difficult. It was the last holiday before we hit our one-year anniversary together. We went through three days of epic meltdowns and disrespectful, defiant behavior. Some of the highlights included stabbing herself with a pencil, kicking me, screaming until she made herself ill, and walking around the neighborhood barefoot when I told her not to leave the yard. She told us that she had to move several times.

She was convinced that we were going to “get rid” of her “just like everyone else.” She thought she was a bad kid who didn’t deserve nice things or a www.mendolakefamilylife.com

The struggle continued, though. It took about four years for her to finally believe our commitment to her was real.

She has come a long way. I’m so honored I’m her mom and that she has allowed herself to love and trust me. I’m grateful that my husband and I have been able to provide her with the safety and comfort she needs to process all that has happened to her. Helping her heal has been difficult, exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming, but amazing to watch. During the hardest times, I kept telling myself, “She is going to be okay.”

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Slowly, she started to open up in spurts. One day in the car she randomly asked, “How long do you think my kids will get to live with me?”

At nine years old, she was terrified of being a bad mom and having her kids removed from her. “It’s in my history and people always say history repeats itself,” she said.

She woke up Easter morning to see that she was still home with us. She realized that we still loved her and would take care of her, despite her behavior. Breakfast, clean clothes, hugs, and even presents from the Easter Bunny were waiting for her.

She spent the whole day hugging us, writing us love notes, and pointing out that she hadn’t had a tantrum all day.

©P N

her know that we were there to listen anytime she wanted to talk.

family. Since we didn’t “get rid” of her by the Fourth of July, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day, she just knew it would happen on Easter. She was trying to hurry along what she felt was inevitable by throwing her worst possible behavior at us.

www.sonomacountyairport.org 707.565.7240 Follow STS on

home?

Space in your

And she is okay.

I’ve known all along my daughter would someday be healthy, happy, and strong. Five years after our adoption was finalized, I can confidently and proudly say she’s made it. She has healed. ¶ Rachael Moshman is a mom, freelance writer, and blogger.

Follow her @rachaelmoshman.

November 2015

heart?

Room in your

Become a foster or adoptive parent and help change the life of a child (707) 463-1100

www.tlc4kids.org Working with children since 1975

MendoLakeFamilyLife 15

Guerrilla Nutrition 10 Smart Ways to Handle a Picky Eater

2

I’m sneaky. If my kids eat a lot of any one thing, I tweak it until it’s as healthy as possible. Take microwave pancakes. Once I noticed how fast they were going down, I started making them from scratch with whole-wheat flour and an occasional injection of cauliflower puree.

If my kids eat a lot of any one thing, I tweak it until it’s as healthy as possible.

3

I keep my cool. Our dinner table is a pleasant place to be.

I’m not going to get excited if my kids don’t like something. In our house there’s a wealth of taste sensations available to anyone who’ll try them, but it’s up to them to do so.

4

W

By Lynn Adams

hat do you think of a mother whose son eats McDonald’s hamburgers and fries three meals a day? I met such a mom through my work as a child psychologist, and I thought about calling Child Protection right there in front of her. I never dreamed I’d end up in a similar situation.

Even though I’ve addressed head-on my son’s choosiness and so have multiple professionals, James eats PB&J for dinner most nights. And my daughter’s hardly a gourmand.

But PB&J is better than a Happy Meal, right?

Sometimes success is more about avoidance than achievement. Here’s how I do it.

16 MendoLakeFamilyLife

1

Every night’s the same. I serve a sit-down meal, and everyone gets the same thing. Maybe different portion sizes. They don’t have to eat all—or any—of it, but that’s dinner.

And if they do eat all of it, then there’s room for dessert. If anyone’s still hungry after everyone’s finished, there’s always PB&J.

I expect a return on my investment. I’ll stem and pit cherries with a smile, because you’d be surprised how many my kids will polish off. But if they’re going to eat a granola bar, they can find and unwrap it themselves, for Pete’s sake. Similarly, I’d rather slave over a healthy snack plate than put in the time required to make human-shaped cannelloni they won’t touch.

5

Again, return on my investment. My kids eat the most at breakfast, so that’s when I spring fresh fruit and protein on them. I don’t spin my wheels with dinner, when they eat the least.

6

I distract, then strike. My specialty is allowing my kids to watch the iPad at the kitchen table during snack time, while I casually set down a variety of

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

bite-sized, healthy snacks like cheese chunks, whole wheat crackers, almonds, and veggies with hummus. After a snack like that, who cares what happens at dinner?

7

Peer pressure. I recruit neighbors and friends. James is too polite, or too concerned about what his friends will think, to refuse a new food at a friend’s house. I noticed that he had a little crush on a neighbor, so I talked her into serving him brussels sprouts. He ate them.

8

You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. If James uses a spoon and chews his Cheerios with his mouth closed, I’ll look the other way when he eats broccoli with his fingers.

Sustenance requires manners. If James is going to branch out, I don’t care what he looks like doing it.

9

I get them when they’re weak.

I offer extremely convenient, healthy food when my kids are hungriest. As soon as they wake up or get home from school, I’m ready

If James uses a spoon and chews his Cheerios with his mouth closed, I’ll look the other way when he eats broccoli with his fingers. with pop-in-the-mouth goodness. I make the pancake batter the night before. If I think they’ll be hungry on the go, I pack the snack they should eat, rather than the one they will buy at a gas station.

10

I never let up. I won’t stop serving my favorite red beans and rice just because James still won’t try them. Sometimes, the 500th time’s the charm.

I accept that picky eating is a complex problem. That doesn’t mean I have to head for the drive-thru every time a tummy rumbles. So I’ve revised my pre-kids goal, which was to have kids who would eat anything, to this: for my kids to have every motivation and every opportunity to eat healthy, and—most important— few alternatives.

Recommended reading: Just Take a Bite by Lori Ernsperger and Tania Stegen-Hanson (Future Horizons, 2004). ¶ Lynn Adams lives with her husband and two children. Find more of her work at lynnadamsphd.com.

A Brighter Future “Happier, excited to go to school and motivated to excel.”

High School Spaces Available.

La Vida 707-459-6344 Charter 16201 Hwy 101, Ukiah School lavidaschool.org www.mendolakefamilylife.com

November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 17

feel like he or she can’t ask for what he or she legitimately needs. If negative communication patterns persist, try interrupting them with the question, “What do you need right now?” You might be surprised to discover that meeting basic needs helps everyone shift into a more positive attitude.

12 Techniques for Exercising Your Happy Muscle

Find something around you right now to appreciate.

Gratitude for Grownups

By Christina Katz

G

ratitude fills us up. A little inner appreciation helps us stop grasping at things outside of ourselves for sustenance and satisfaction. A thankful attitude strengthens relationships, reduces stress, improves health, and helps us feel happier in every moment of any day.

18 MendoLakeFamilyLife

But maybe your family has fallen out of the positive habit of noticing what they appreciate. Follow these five steps to get back in the gratitude groove.

Step one. For one week or even a whole month, put the kibosh on complaining, criticizing, or gossiping.

Define each of these behaviors, and then playfully bust each other when one of you starts indulging in one.

Don’t shame each other, just redirect negative habits toward something more positive.

Step two. Be sure to explain that having legitimate needs and expressing those needs is encouraged and expected. No family member should

And don’t be afraid to ask yourself, “What do I need?” Once every family member is getting his or her needs met, or at least on a schedule to be met soon, gratitude flows in.

Step three. Pause several moments during the day and find something to feel grateful about. You can even use the calendar on your phone to remind you to take “gratitude breaks.”

Step four. Acknowledge something you feel grateful about by writing it down or saying it aloud to someone else. The energy of gratitude grows when it is shared.

Step five. After you recognize and acknowledge your appreciation, sit with it for at least a count of ten or for several deep breaths. This helps you to cultivate the energy so you start reaping the benefits of your gratitude practice immediately.

14 Daily Gratitude Techniques Still need more help? Try these techniques until they become habits.

1. Find something around you right now to appreciate. What do you see, smell, hear, taste, or feel? Our senses help us connect with our appreciation.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

2. Notice how your young children set an example of spontaneous gratitude and then follow their lead. Approach your day through a child’s eyes.

No family member should feel like he or she can’t ask for what he or she legitimately needs.

3. Place sticky notes around the house reminding family members of the things you appreciate about them.

4. Every day as the sun sets, write something on the calendar that you appreciated about the passing day. At the end of the month, read your comments and get a big shot of positivity.

5. Take a moment to recollect what inspires awe in you, whether it’s the changing seasons, a person who lifts you up, or someone who is really good at what he or she does. Don’t let a day go by without checking in with these inspiring touchstones.

6. Be grateful for mistakes. Tell your kids stories that demonstrate how making errors can provide an opportunity for growth.

7. Say something kind to someone and mean it.

8. Don’t keep good news to yourself.

Notice good service and offer feedback about it before you forget. If you can’t get your hands on a comment card, ask to speak to a manager.

9. At a weekend meal, ask everyone to share the best moments of his or

her week. You can do this around the dinner table or at tuck-in time.

Even once a week is better than never.

If kids are feeling down, ask for a positive story to balance out the sad feelings.

10. Thank your kids for things you appreciate. Gratitude begets gratitude.

11. Find a cause that is important to you and contribute time, money, or energy to it. Whatever you can do, let it be enough, and share the experience with your kids.

12. Practice self-kindness so you can offer kindness to others.

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz flexes her happy muscle daily by appreciating the little things, as well as the people, around her.

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Tasty Treats, Great Gifts!

Our Happy Tails Etc. Dog Bakery

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ourhappytailsetcdogbakery.com www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Pet Boutique

Like us for deals & drawings

(707) 462-1848 • 610 S. State St., Ukiah November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 19

person has the power to make a difference, one act of kindness at a time.

There are thousands of organizations doing good work around the world.

Many of them focus on the needs and welfare of children. The three

Kids can learn the important lesson that each person has the power to make a difference, one act of kindness at a time.

Lessons in Compassion W

I’ve outlined below are just the tip of the iceberg. Go to charitynavigator. org to find out more about selecting reputable organizations to support.

Plan an International Family Project

By Jan Pierce

ant to draw your family together in a “team effort”?

Want your children to grow in compassion for others? To dream big and set measurable goals? To experience the wonderful feeling of accomplishment?

You’ll gain all this and more when you and your kids commit to participating in an international family project.

20 MendoLakeFamilyLife

We live in a global society. Daily news enters our homes via television and other media. Our children learn at an early age that there is war, violence, and strife in many parts of the world.

Most children are horrified when they learn kids just like them suffer from lack of housing, nutritious meals, and a safe living environment. The reality cuts right to their hearts and they want to take action.

The good news is there are tangible ways to involve children in creating social change. Can they fix all the world’s problems? No, but they can learn the important lesson that each

As you peruse the site, focus on organizations with a high rating in terms of dollars received and dollars given in aid. (It’s fair to expect these organizations to have some overhead costs.) Most organizations have excellent websites where you can research and see photos of their work.

Once you’ve selected a project, you’ll need to find a way to contribute to its specific goals. Will you choose to do a crowdfunding campaign? Will the entire family pitch in to do extra work of some kind to earn money? Will you make flyers or hold a bake or garage sale?

How much money you raise or time you spend isn’t nearly as important as the journey your family takes together to help other human beings.

Be sure your children: • help select the project and make a timeline of the work involved.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

• help plan the ways to raise the funds.

• help with advertising and promoting the project.

• help evaluate the success of the project via graphs, charts, or reports.

1. Kusewera. This wonderful organization, founded in 2008 and based in Malawi, Africa, is dedicated to improving the lives of poor children through active and creative play.

(Kusewera means “to play” in Malawi.)

To this end, it has developed a community center that provides sports clinics and guided activities in dance, music, and art. kusewera.org

Community Acupuncture accessible affordable effective Ukiah

Stress, Anxiety, Depression? Acupuncture Can Help Sliding Scale $20-40 - Gift Certificates Available Now 203 S. School St., Ukiah • www.acupunctureukiah.com • 391-9995

2. Pearl S. Buck International.

This organization’s goal is to foster exploration and appreciation of other cultures around the world, and to cultivate better lives for children. The center is based at the original family home of Pearl Buck in Perkasie, Pennsylvania, while the organization’s work extends throughout Korea, China, the Philippines, Taiwan, Vietnam, and the US. pearlsbuck.org 3. Palestine Children’s Relief Fund. The Palestine Relief Fund (PCRF) is a nonpartisan nonprofit dedicated to healing the wounds of war, occupation, and poverty. It offers medical and humanitarian aid to Middle Eastern adults and children, regardless of race, nationality, religion, or gender. pcrf.net Be assured that when you take on an international family project, your entire family will be forever changed.

Jan Pierce, MEd, is the author of Homegrown Readers: Simple Ways to Help Your Child Learn to Read.

Find her at janpierce.net.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

A Family Tradition

Ride through a storybook about the giving spirit, friendship, and tradition where every child gets a special visit from Santa himself.

XmasTrain.com | 800.866.1690 November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 21

November Calendar of Events

Tree Magic

E

xperience the charm of Christmases past at the Gualala Arts 12th Annual Festival of the Trees celebration, where you can purchase an exquisitely decorated tree to twinkle in your own living room. Take in the beauty of fine crafts made by skilled local artists, including quilters, fiber artists, woodworkers, basket makers, and beaders. Visit Mrs. Claus’ Bake Shoppe & Confectionery for some yummy holiday treats, including whole pies and cakes made by local bakers.

Then let kids burn off their sugar rush at the Magical Gingerbread House play area, which will offer activities for children, including visits from Santa and the Grinch.

The free event will be held at the Gualala Arts Center in Gualala on November 27, 10 a.m.–5 p.m., and November 28, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Go to gualalaarts.org for details. ¶

Sunday 1 Zoppé Family Circus. An intimate

500-seat tent for a one-ring circus that honors the best history of the Old World Italian tradition. 1 p.m. & 4 p.m. Adults $18. Ages 3–12 $13.

Under 3 free. Todd’s Point. Fort Bragg. brownpapertickets.com/event/2411731.

Young Frankenstein, the Musical.

Thursdays–Sundays. Thru Nov. 22. Thurs. shows at 7 p.m., Fri. & Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 2 p.m. $10–$15.

Ukiah Players Theatre. 1041 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah. 462-9226. ukiahplayerstheatre.org.

Beyond Ocean Celebration of Day of the Dead Walk. Join the Noyo

Center for Marine Science for a processional walk on the new south Coastal Trail. Walk will end with sunset blessing of the ocean. 3:30 p.m. Meet at the parking lot thru Cypress St. gate. Fort Bragg Coastal Trail. 378 W. Elm, Fort Bragg.

22 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Tuesday 3 FREE Lego Build Hour. Tuesdays.

3 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. 463-4153. co.mendocino.ca/ library.

Thursday 5 FREE Wii-U Gaming for Teens.

Come challenge your friends! Play Super Smash Bros., Hyrule Warriors, Marvel Super Heroes & more. Weekly sign-up sheet available at 3:15 p.m.

Refreshments served. Ages 12–19.

Thursdays. 3:30-5 p.m. Ukiah Library.

105 N. Main St., Ukiah. 467-6434. co.mendocino.ca/library.

Friday 6 Skates & roller blades to check out for free, but if you have your own, bring them. All children under 18 must have an adult sign them in before they can skate.

Fridays. 6:30–9 p.m. $5. Old Rec. Center. 213 E. Laurel St., Fort Bragg.

FREE Skate Night.

FREE Story Time at Lakeport Library. Fridays. 10:15–11:45 a.m. &

3–4 p.m. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport.

263-8817. co.lake.ca.us.

Annual Mendocino Mushroom, Wine & Beer Festival. Foraging

expeditions, art classes, performances.

Events take place throughout the county. Download full schedule of events at visitmendocino.com. Most run 8 a.m.–5 p.m. Thru Nov. 15.

866.466.3636.

FREE Snak, Yak & Write Back. A

new book discussion & writing group where tweens & teens can chat about their recent or favorite reads. Writing for fun will also be explored. Snacks will be provided. Fridays. 3:30-4:30 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. 463-4153. co.mendocino.ca.us.

FREE Story Time for Preschoolers.

Fridays. 10:15–11:15 a.m. Fort Bragg Library. 499 Laurel St., Fort Bragg.

964-2020. co.mendocino.ca.us.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Feline Freedom. Cat

adoption opportunity. Adoption fees waived.

Cats spayed/neutered, vaccinated, tested for Felv/FIV, microchipped.

Nov. 6 & 7. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Animal Care Services Shelter. 298 Plant Rd., Ukiah.

Saturday 7

encourages kids, teens & adults to tackle the challenge of writing a novel.

NaNoWriMo inspires its 300,000+ participants with pep talks, a huge & supportive online community & a host of web-based writing tools. Saturdays.

Noon–5 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. mendolibrary.org.

FREE Saturday Morning Matinee.

Family-friendly movies first Saturday of each month. Current releases & old favorites. Will include both animated & live-action films. Children must be accompanied by an adult. 10:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Lakeport Library. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport. co.lake.ca.us.

5th Annual Wine, Kibble & Bids Harvest Party. Tri-tip dinner, auction

& live music. 4:30–6:30 p.m. Adults $25. Students & seniors (65+) $22.

Age 6 & under free! Benefits Humane Society for Inland Mendocino County. Redwood Empire Fairgrounds. 1055 N. State St., Ukiah. mendohumanesociety.com.

FREE Light Up a Life. A candle-lighting ceremony of remembrance that celebrates the memories of family, friends & loved ones who have passed. The brief ceremony will include music, poetry & song accompanied by the lighting of candles. Keepsake candles will be available at the event for a suggested donation of $10 or may be pre-ordered. 6:30–7:30 p.m.

Hospice Services of Lake County.

1862 Parallel Dr., Lakeport. Call to pre-order candles: 263-6270 ext. 111. lakeportmainstreet.com.

Lego NXT Robot Workshop.

Introduce the basics of programming & building robots. The minimum age for participants is 10 yrs. Bring a lunch, snacks will be provided. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. $20 each. Register early. Make checks payable to Lake County Office of Education. Send check to Taylor Observatory (Lake County Office of Education), 1152 S. Main St., Lakeport.

Event held at Taylor Observatory. 5725 Oak Hills Ln., Kelseyville. lakecoe.org.

FREE National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). A nonprofit event that

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 23

FREE Build a Veterans Day Jet.

Home Depot Kids Workshop.

Hands-on workshop designed for children ages 5–12. Each child can bring home a newly constructed project, a kid-sized orange apron, an achievement pin & certificate. 9 a.m.– noon. Home Depot. 350 N. Orchard Ave., Ukiah. 462-3009. Register at homedepot.com/workshops.

FREE Morning Roses. An

introduction to Waldorf preschool & kindergarten. Adults with young children ages 2–4. Limited space available. Pre-registration & prompt arrival encouraged. 10–11:30 a.m.

Waldorf School of Mendocino County.

6280 Third St., Calpella. 485-8719. ext.

6. waldorfmendocino.com.

6th Annual Heritage Luncheon. Tasty

mushroom dishes & local meats, cheese, produce, wine & beer. Expert

speakers will talk about cooking with fungi, winemaking & beer-brewing.

1–3:30 p.m. $35. Mendocino County Museum. 400 E. Commercial St., Willits. mendocinomuseum.org.

Sunday 8 Bountiful Music! Fundraiser

for Ukiah Symphony. Classical & contemporary compositions performed by orchestra members & friends. 3 p.m. Adults $25. Seniors $20. Children under 18 & students $5. Family ticket $35 (2 adults & 2–3 kids). First Presbyterian Church of Ukiah. Dora & Perkins Streets, Ukiah.

462-0236. ukiahsymphony.org.

Wednesday 11 Veterans Day. A day to honor &

remember our veterans.

Thursday 12 FREE Mendocino College Campus Tour. Tour library/learning resource

center, auto technology, ceramics, science complex, nursing facility & culinary arts management. Tour followed by lunch. 11:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Mendocino College. 1000 Hensley Creek, Ukiah. mendocino.edu.

Noyo Food Forest Harvest Dinner.

Multicourse Brewmaster mushroom dinner. Each course paired with a North Coast Brewing Company beer.

Beer & appetizers: 5:30 p.m. Dinner: 6:30 p.m. $60. Proceeds benefit Noyo Food Forest. North Coast Brewery Tap Room & Grill. 444 N. Main St., Fort Bragg. noyofoodforest.org.

FREE Work Force Lake Business & Career Job Fair. 10 a.m.–2 p.m.

Konocti Vista Casino. 2755 Mission

Now Accepting K-12 Registration PRESENTS

The Nutcracker Ukiah Independent Study Academy Serving K-12

Flex Time & Days • Tailored Learning Eligible for UHS Sports • Middle College Opportunity College & Career Readiness • WASC Accredited

UKIAH UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT

1000 Low Gap Rd., Ukiah • 707-472-5906 24 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Tickets: Adults: $20 Seniors over 65: $18 Under 18: $10 $ 5 more at the door Fort Bragg Cotton Auditorium

Dec. 12 at 7pm Dec. 13 at 2pm Ukiah

Mendocino Collage Center Theatre

Dec. 18 at 7pm Dec. 19 at 2 & 7pm Dec. 20 at 2pm

New Classes Start in January For more info & tickets outlets call 463-2290 www.mendocinoballet.org

“Where Dreams to Dance Come True!”

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Rancheria Rd., Lakeport. 263-0630. uvclc.org.

Saturday 14 Symphony of the Redwoods Fall Concert. Borodin, Beethoven &

Bruch. Thru Nov. 15. Nov. 14: 8 p.m. Nov. 15: 2 p.m. $20. 18 & under free. Cotton Auditorium.

500 N. Harold St., Fort Bragg. symphonyoftheredwoods.org.

Guitars for the Troops. Presented

by the Rotary Club of Ukiah.

Music by Waylon & the Wild Cats, Kingsborough & Double Standyrd. 5 p.m.–11 p.m. $10. Redwood Empire Fairgrounds. Carl Purdy Hall. 1055 N. State St., Ukiah. ukiahrotary.org.

Nature Walks & Historic Ranch House Tours. Walks are followed

by a tour of the historical ranch house. Walks take between 1.5–3 hrs. depending on route. Rain will cancel walk but not tour. 8:30 a.m. Meet under big oak tree in front of ranch.

The Anderson Marsh State Historic Park is located at the southeast corner of Clear Lake, at the formation of Cache Creek, on Hwy. 53 between the cities of Lower Lake & Clearlake. andersonmarsh.org.

18th Annual Stars of Lake County Community Awards. Hosted by Lake

County Chamber of Commerce. Light appetizers available. Reception: 5 p.m. Seating: 6 p.m. $25. Tickets only available thru Lake County Chamber of Commerce: 263-5092. Soper Reese Community Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. soperreesetheatre.com.

Blue Ribbon Pets

Pets of the Month Sponsor • Adopt-a-Pet Discount

Like our Facebook Page for Special Discounts

(707) 485-8454 • www.brpets.com

Humane Society for Inland Mendocino County PETS OF THE MONTH. COME MEET US TODAY! Kewanne is a little shy at first,

but is actually very affectionate and outgoing. She is also afraid of men and should be in a home with little exposure to them. This girl would do best in a home where she can get plenty affection and love to help her get past her initial timidness.

Amanda is a sweet, playful kitty that’ll just melt in your arms, although she is slightly more independent at times. She loves to roll around and observe everything in the office. If you’re looking for a spunky little cat with lots of personality, Amanda is the kitty for you!

George Hi, I’m a handsome,

Reba is a sweet Chihuahua mix that

active dog that likes to test my surroundings so it would be best if my new home had secure fencing.

I’d like to be an only dog unless the other dog is bigger. I’m quick to learn and would love to go for walks and maybe learn some tricks.

9700 Uva Dr. Redwood Valley (707) 485-0123 • www.mendohumanesociety.com

KUSD IS SEEKING SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS If you have a Bachelor’s Degree, we may have a job for you!

Make A Positive Difference With Children Sub Teacher Checklist: • CBEST Results • Official College Transcripts (BA or higher) • TB Clearance

FREE Holiday Craft Fair. Sponsored by the Lakeport Women’s Civic Club. 30+ vendors of handmade creations. Bake sale. Raffle. 9 a.m.–4 p.m. Kelseyville Presbyterian Church. 5340 3rd St., Kelseyville. lakeportmainstreet.com.

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

would like to be a permanent lap dog!

She is happy and playful but would probably prefer to be an only dog (to get all the attention!). Since she is a little timid she would be better off around older children. Come meet this little gal and see if she might fit into you life.

Discover more about how we are elevating student learning at www.konoctiusd.org

707-994-6475 November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 25

FREE Not Your Grandmother’s Pies.

Pie demonstration for people of all ages. Warren Massie will show how to make pies in various shapes. 2–4 p.m.

Lakeport Library. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport. lakeconews.com.

FREE Bike Angels United Bike Giveaway. This group has given

hundreds of bicycles to children impacted by the Valley Fire. Noon–5 p.m. Minnie Cannon Elementary School. 20932 Big Canyon Rd., Middletown. To donate or receive a bike, call 925-525-7682.

Hopland Sheepdog Trials. Featuring

50 sheepdogs. Food vendor available, but guests are also welcome to bring a picnic. No pets. Adults $5.

Children under 12 free. Thru Nov. 15. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Hopland Research & Extension Center. 4070 University Rd., Hopland. 744-1424, ext. 105.

Register online. hrec.ucanr.edu.

Harvest Festival. A festival of talents & treasures. Auction & dinner. 5:30 p.m. $25–$30. Ukiah Methodist Church. 270 N. Bush St., Ukiah. visitukiah.com.

Tom Tit Tot. Bilingual

marionette production of Rumpelstiltskin tales.

English version: 1–1:20 p.m. Spanish version: 1:40–2 p.m. Ukiah Library.

105 N. Main St., Ukiah.

Sunday 15 FREE Wildfire: Are You Prepared?

Short documentary film about wildfire preparedness. CalFire & local fire departments, as well as CERT, will offer free info on emergency preparedness. What does a 72-hour emergency kit look like?

When & how should you pack your car? What about your animals? 7 p.m. Donation of $5–$10 will go to the Valley Fire Relief Fund. Little Lake Grange. 291 School St., Willits.

Walk on the Wild Side. Wild mushroom walk, wine, hors d’oeuvres. 1 p.m. $22. Jug Handle Creek Farm & Nature Center.

15501 N. Hwy. 1, Caspar. 937-3498. jughandlecreekfarm.com.

Friday 20 Contemporary dance performance. Nov. 20 & 21: 8 p.m. Nov. 22: 2 p.m. $10. Seniors & kids 12 & under $8. Mendocino College Center Theatre. 1000 Hensley Creek, Ukiah. mendocino. edu/the-arts/dance.

A Story. A Tribute.

Saturday 21 Flashy Fauna

E

very year during its Festival of Lights, the Mendocino Botanical Gardens dresses up its considerable collection of plants in strands of glittering red, green, and yellow. Stroll through the brilliant displays, then grab some dinner and hot cocoa, cider, or wine and enjoy live music in a heated tent.

The event begins November 27 and runs Fridays–Sundays, 5–7:30 p.m., until December 20. Santa visits on November 27, and December 12 and 18.

Tickets are $10; kids 16 and under are free, thanks to the funds raised by the Festival of Lights Gala, which will be held at the gardens on December 3, 5:30–8 p.m.. Tickets are $100. See gardenbythesea.org for more information. ¶

26 MendoLakeFamilyLife

FREE Know Lake County. Lecture series. This month’s topic is the Soper Reese Theatre. 2 p.m.

Lakeport Library. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport. 263-8817. co.lake.ca.us.

38th Annual Country Christmas Holiday Bazaar. Sponsored by the

Mendocino Study Club. Homemade items include X-mas decorations, pillows, placemats, knitted items, table runners, pies, candy, jellies, pickles & more. 10 a.m.–3 p.m.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Presbyterian Church. 44831 Main St., Mendocino. kozt.com.

Mushroom ID for Beginners. How

& where to find mushrooms? Which ones are safe to eat? Includes field walk. 10 a.m.–3:30 p.m. General $20.

Members $10. Mendocino Botanical Gardens. 18220 CA-1, Fort Bragg. gardenbythesea.org.

Sunday 22 Lake County Symphony Concert Series. Classical favorites. 3 p.m.

$25. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. 263-0577. soperreesetheatre.com.

Thursday 26 Turkey Trot. 5K & 10K walk or run

Handicap accessible. Weekends.

5–7:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 20. Adults $10.

16 & under free. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. gardenbythesea.org.

FREE 56th Annual Thanksgiving Arts & Crafts Fair. Unique

handmade artwork, glasswork, jewelry, ceramics & much more.

Food & live music. Nov. 27 & 28. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Mendocino Art Center.

45200 Little Lake St., Mendocino.

937-5818. mendocinoartcenter.org.

Saturday 28 FREE Lakeport Holiday Festivities.

Craft booths for children, nonprofit booths, large slide, children’s pet parade, carols, Santa. Make a floating candleholder & then float it on the lake at the end of the day.

Library Park. 225 Park St., Lakeport.

263-8843. lakeportmainstreet.com.

Love Working with kids?

WORK AT HOME • CHOOSE YOUR OWN HOURS • WORK WITH CHILDREN

to benefit the Fort Bragg Food Bank.

Bring one nonperishable food item.

Race starts at 9 a.m. Preregister $20.

Day of event $30. Pay thru Paypal to: knwooden@gmailcom. MacKerricher State Park. 24100 MacKerricher Park Rd., Fort Bragg. 480-586-8845.

Own Your Own Business • Free Training and other great incentives for attending fun workshops.

• Child Care Assistance for lowincome eligible families.

• Free Child Care Referrals.

Friday 27 FREE 12th Annual Festival of Trees & Holiday Bazaar. The art center

transforms into mid-19th century village. Crafts, kids’ activities, food, live entertainment & a visit from Santa.

Thru Nov. 28. Nov. 27: 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Nov. 28: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Gualala Arts Center. 46501 Old State Hwy., Gualala.

884-1138. gualalaarts.org.

FREE 56th Annual Thanksgiving Arts & Crafts Fair. Unique

handmade artwork, glasswork, jewelry, ceramics & much more.

Food & live music. Nov. 27 & 28. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Mendocino Art Center.

45200 Little Lake St., Mendocino. mendocinoartcenter.org.

1-800-606-5550 ext. 211

YES You Can! Look & Feel GOOD Medically Supervised Weight Loss For You, your Health, your LIFE!

Weight No More $20 OFF Your First Visit NEW PATIENTS SEEN AT 1:00 PM

Ukiah: 462-0464 750 South Dora St. Thur. 11:30-5:30

5th Annual Festival of Lights.

Lakeport: 263-1979 751 11th St. Fri. 11:30-5:30

www.weightnomoremedical.com • Se habla español

Gardens decorated with colorful holiday lights. Santa visits Nov. 27. www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Rural Communities Child Care

Caring, Personalized Treatment Plan November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 27

Cooking with Kids

Pint-sized Chefs

By Amy Fothergill

G

et your kids involved in Thanksgiving dinner preparation. Give them one of the tasks on this list. They’ll have fun learning their way around a kitchen and feel extra proud knowing that they helped produce the family feast.

1. Make salad/rip lettuce.

Make sure their little hands are clean and then get them to work.

They can tear lettuce with their hands, spin the salad spinner (a favorite in our house), or add veggies to the bowl.

2. Mash things that are not hot. “Mashables” include cauliflower, butternut squash, broccoli, bananas, or even strawberries for shortcake.

3. Cut with a plastic knife.

Make sure what they are cutting is soft like melon, a peeled cucumber, broccoli, mushrooms, etc.

4. Stir a sauce. If you are making a sauce either for dipping or a marinade, let your kids watch you measure the ingredients and then allow them to mix them up. Often 28 MendoLakeFamilyLife

10 Ways Kids Can Help in the Kitchen

times, I would pour an ingredient into a measuring cup or spoon, and then my daughter would pour it into the bowl. Both of my kids love to use a whisk for mixing.

5. Baste meat. Although this is an activity that requires more supervision (no finger licking allowed!), using a brush to baste chicken, fish, or beef is a lot of fun.

6. Roll meatballs. Supervision is most definitely suggested for this activity, which is appropriate for kids ages 7 and up. You don’t want to do this with a child who is too young and who might eat the raw meat or lick their hands.

7. Measure flour and/or ingredients. When you are making things like pancakes, waffles, muffins, or cookies, it’s really okay if not everything is exact. My daughter has now learned how to level off the flour and the baking soda or powder, measure sugar (her favorite ingredient), and use a liquid measuring cup. A lot of this takes patience when they are young but will pay off later.

8. Roll dough. There’s a reason why play dough is so popular; kids love to roll things. Now, maybe you don’t want them rolling out the crust of your famous holiday pumpkin pie, but there’s always something they can do like the extra pastry or pizza dough or even cookies. They can use a regular or kid-sized rolling pin, or their hands. Just keep an eye on what goes in their mouths if the dough contains eggs or other raw ingredients.

9. Mix a batter. Whether it’s pancakes or pudding, give them the whisk, paddle, or spatula and let them go to town. Just make sure the batter stays in the bowl!

10. Decorate cakes or cookies.

Make cake and cookie decorating more fun and less Cake Boss! Let them add color, candy, frosting, etc. Just be careful to not overdo it on the sugar. ¶ Chef Amy Fothergill is a mom and author of the award-winning cookbook The Warm Kitchen: Gluten-Free Recipes Anyone Can Make and Everyone Will Love (The Family Chef, 2013). Find her at amythefamilychef.com.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

Crafting with Kids

Marketplace Tutoring

Turkey Time

Tuition-free Montessori elementary for ages 5-13  Hands-on, arts and music

Holiday Craft for Toddlers

integrated with academics

 National Green Campus  Promotes responsibility,

707-468-1300

Located on north end of Fairgrounds PO Box 966 Ukiah 95482

www.tutoringcenter.com

T

Childcare/Preschools

urkeys are the stars of the show at Thanksgiving. Let toddlers have fun painting their own version of the celebrated bird. Just pull out the finger paint, construction paper, and glue, and let them make a happy holiday mess.

707-462-0913 Give Your Give Child a Head Start!

Free Your & Low-Cost Quality Preschool! www.treeoflifeschool.net

treeoflifeschool@pacific.net

✓ Referrals for transportation available Free & Low-Cost Quality Preschool!

Also providing FREE in-home services for

Supplies

infants, toddlers & pregnant women!

• Finger paint (brown, red, yellow, orange) • Card stock paper • Black sharpie

Head Start Child Development Program

• Ukiah

C E N T E R S

Child a classrooms for ✓ 1/2-day & full-day ages 18 months Head to 5 years ✓ Potty-trained not necessary Start! ✓ Children with disabilities welcome

Fingerprint Turkeys

North Ukiah - Bush St. Nokomis - Washington Ave. South Ukiah - S. State St. Peach Tree - S. Orchard Ave.

• Willits

Near Brookside School at Spruce St. & Lincoln Way

La Vida • Lake County

Upper Lake - 2nd Street Upper Lake - Clover Valley Lakeport - Howard Ave. Clearlake - Pearl Ave. • Free K-12 Public Charter Clearlake - Meadowbrook Dr.

Charter School www.ncoinc.org Head Start (707)Development 462-2582 Program License #230111843 Child • Home Study• Coast with

Applications online: www.ncoinc.org • (707) 462-2582 Fort Bragg - Lincoln St. On-Site Classes

Instructions Place your child’s thumb in the brown paint and paint a brown body and head on paper. Use the child’s pointer finger to make colored feathers around the edge. Once these have dried, use the black marker to draw the face and feet. If fingerprints are too difficult for little fingers to make, the whole hand can be used to print the turkey body and feathers. ¶

www.mendolakefamilylife.com

respect, and peace

307 North State Street Ukiah

By Alexa Bigwarfe

Alexa Bigwarfe is a freelance writer and mother of three children.

Schools

mendo lake

LOCAL for 24 years

#1 local resource for local families

magazine • web • email • events

• WASC Accredited

707-459-6344 www.LaVidaSchool.org 16201 N. Hwy. 101, Willits

Accelerated Achievement Academy • • • •

Free Public School Grades 4-12 Small classes Support for struggling students

(707) 463-7080 1031 N. State St.

Like Us On Facebook November 2015

MendoLakeFamilyLife 29

Humor Break

Digital Parenting 101 Don’t Get Vexed. Text!

By Bull Garlington

I

suffer from acute proactive energy conservationism (aka: laaaaziness).

Until recently, this malady had affected only me. However, it’s become clear my wife is suffering from a temporary onset while she recovers from a torn rotator cuff, and my son is showing signs of a strong genetic predisposition toward multi-slacking.

All of this may best be illustrated by our new obsession with texting.

It may be important to introduce some working vocabulary here so you can follow: 1. fetch-text: When your wife texts “bring me a diet coke” because she’s watching Chaz Bono drop-kick Nancy Grace on Dancing with the Stars.

2. cease-and-desist-text: When you text “stop yelling Booyah!” to your son because you can’t hear Gordon Ramsey curse over the boy’s gleeful celebration of perfect head shots in Call of Duty 3.

3. text-of-denial: Texting “I’m in the shower” after your son texts “get mom a diet coke” after she texts “DC!” 4. remote parenting: From an important meeting (at Vaughn’s Pub): Dad: r u ok?

Son: on fire Dad: srsly Son: it burns . . .

30 MendoLakeFamilyLife

Dad: YOU BETTER ANSWER ME NOW &^%$#!

Son: what’s the number for 911?

Dad: there’s pizza in the freezer 5. remote bonding: Dad: just played “shart” in Scrabble Son: IN CLASS! Dad: like a boss Son: OMG stop txtng me!

On the plus side, the house is much quieter. We now text silently, speaking almost entirely with our minds.

Dad: love you!

Son: block you!

6. wireless banking: Son: Hey, Dad? Can I get the $20 you owe me for my A in biology?

Dad: My phone is dead.

Son: Lol, Dad. You’re so funny. But seriously, I did get an A in biology and I could use that $20.

Dad: But you got a D in math. That’s -5 against the 20, leaving you 15. And you didn’t take out the trash this year, -120, so you owe me $100.

Son: Birthday check from Aunt Dora. You only gave me half. You owe me $70.

Dad: Review your invoice for taxi services in the amount of $532.19.

Son: I was telling my friends how funny you are. I love you, Dad. Dad: Well played. Here’s 20 bucks.

Are you on the back porch?

Son: On the couch next to you!

On the plus side, the house is much quieter. We now text silently, speaking almost entirely with our minds, as our alien overlords prefer. I used to bellow, “SHUT UP I’M ON THE %$%#$@! PHONE!” But now I text: “zip it,” which the neighbors can’t hear, so the kid has no leverage. That makes me happy because I am finally “silent but deadly” in a way that only affects one of us. ¶ Bull Garlington is the author of Death by Children, the ForeWord Review’s Humor 2013 Book of the Year.

November 2015 www.mendolakefamilylife.com

HILLSIDE HEALTH CENTER MEDICAL CARE DENTAL SERVICES BEHAVIORAL HEALTH WOMEN’S HEALTH Care for Her 333 Laws Avenue Ukiah, CA

(707) 468-1010 Read more about Dr. Dixon’s story at www.mchcinc.org

Looking for a pediatrician who loves taking care of children?

She’s here!

Introducing Dr. Danielle Dixon, who joined the MCHC team

because she loves how honest and straightforward children can be.

WE ACCEPT Medicare, Medi-Cal, Partnership and other insurance.

Our financial counselors are here to help you with your coverage options.

“If a kid says, ‘It hurts,’ it hurts. What you see is what you get,” she said. She knows that while many of us, as parents, struggle to find time to care for ourselves, most of us will do all we can to care for our children. She wants to help us succeed.

Most of all, she loves taking care of children and giving them a healthy start.

Call (707) 468-1010 for an appointment.

She’s here to help you.

Same Family New Home

In 1928 the Willits community had a dream of building a hospital to care for the community. Today that same vision has become a reality as we prepare to open the new Frank R. Howard Memorial Hospital.

Watch for more It Starts with Great People

State-of-the-Art Operating Room

Roots Restaurant

information about our

Opening Date!

The Art of Healing

New Technology

Private Rooms

One Marcela Drive Willits, CA

Spacious Emergency Room

Convenient Helipad

Gift Shop