Sonoma Family Life February 2016 by familylifemag

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February 2016

Happy Hearts 4 Ways to care Dental Savvy

Keep kids calm

Kids & Cupid

Local single parents on love

Sweet Spots 6 V-Day dates

MELT HEARTS WITH YOUR SMILE!

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Graduate from Elementary Bilingual Dual Immersion Program • Common Core curriculum. • 1-1 computer program K-6. • New classrooms on Kawana campus. • Open to students from all districts. • Transportation available in Kawana area.

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February 2016

Every Issue

12 Features

Dear Reader

Bits and Pieces Crazy for Crustaceans Once Upon a Time Pregnant? Don’t Go to Latin America

28 Family Fun Keep Love Alive

30 Calendar of Events Dancing Lions, Oh My!

10 Indoor Winter Wonderland Rainy day fun for little ones.

12 Kids and Cupid Local single parents share their hard-won wisdom on dating.

16 Show Me Your Smile How to ease your child’s fear of the dentist.

18 The Littlest Adventurers What goes into the making of a great camp experience.

20 Preschool Primer Tips on choosing a school that suits your child’s needs.

37 Moon Music 39 Oenophile Fantasy Virtuoso Vocalists

42 Humor Break My V-Day Wish List

22 Date Your Mate Creative ideas for conjuring up some romance.

24 Put Love into Action Concrete ways to boost the confidence of your kids.

26 Speak Your Truth Use your intuition to resolve conflicts.

28 4 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Dear Reader

t’s the month to celebrate love—for our mates, our kids, and ourselves.

of work—and it makes dating tricky, too. In “Kids and Cupid” (page 12), local single parents share their struggle to find that special someone.

If you are looking for a special place to Sharon Gowan take your valentine, Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us check out “Keep Love Alive” (page 28) for a wide variety of local offerings, from wine tastings to family-friendly festivals. “Date Your Mate” (page 22) has lots of creative ideas, too. Local humorist Holly Hester has her own suggestions for conjuring up romance. (Hint: A clean floor is at the top of the list.) See her “My V-Day Wish List” (page 42) for her take on the ideal way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Whether living in single-or dual-parent homes, all kids need nurturing. In “Put Love into Action” (page 24), Christina Katz shows you how to use the principles of attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection to help children thrive.

Office Manager Patricia Ramos patty@family-life.us

Business Marketing Renee Nutcher renee@family-life.us

We certainly appreciate our readers! We’d like to especially thank everyone who participated in our “Selfie with Our Elife” contest. See page 9 for the lucky winners.

Jolie Cook jolie@family-life.us

May all your hearts be happy this Valentine’s Day—and everyday!

Marie Anderson marie@family-life.us

If you are flying solo, this time of year can be a little lonesome, especially if you have kids. Parenting on your own is a lot

Leanna Wetmore leanna@family-life.us

Features Editor

RVC Preschool NOW ENROLLING!

3 year olds class 4 year olds class Transitional Kindergarten

Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Calendar Anna Freeman

Contributing Writers Kimberly Blaker Carl Greer Holly Hester Christa Melnyk Hines Christina Katz Janeen Lewis

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

Publishing Office

707-539-1486

www.rvchristian.org 6 SonomaFamilyLife

134 Lystra Court, Suite A Santa Rosa, CA 95403 Tel (707) 586-9562 Fax (707) 586-9571

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Bits & Pieces

Once Upon a Time

C Crazy for Crustaceans

rack a crab leg and support a good cause. Go to the 27th Annual Great Sonoma Crab and Wine Fest at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds in Santa Rosa on February 6. The event benefits agricultural scholarships and programs, and will feature a reception where you can nosh on gourmet hors d’oeuvres paired with an array of local wines. Participate in live and silent auctions, too. The reception and silent auction is at 4 p.m.; dinner and live auction are at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $75 and may be purchased at sonomafb.org/crabfeed. ¶

elebrate Black History Month with African-American folktales. Local storyteller Kirk Waller will use spoken word, rhythm, music, and movement to weave wondrous yarns that will transfix young minds. The free event, intended for kids ages 5 and up, will be held at the Sebastopol Regional Library in Sebastopol on February 6 at 11 a.m. See sonomalibrary.org for more information. ¶

Pregnant? Don’t Go to Latin America

f you are pregnant (or think you might be) think twice before hopping on a plane to the Caribbean or Latin America. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a travel health alert for Brazil and 21 other countries, including Mexico and Puerto Rico, where the Zika virus is proliferating. Transmitted by mosquitoes, the virus has been linked to a birth defect called microcephaly, which leaves children with abnormally small heads and brain damage. The number of cases of microcephaly in Brazil has risen dramatically in the last several months to nearly 4,000. If you are pregnant and have recently visited any of the countries where there is a travel advisory, the CDC recommends that you get tested for the virus. See cdc.gov/media/releases/2016/s0315-zika-virustravel.html for a complete list of affected countries. ¶ 8 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Take a ‘Selfie with Our Elfie’ Contest

Winning Smiles!

he “Selfie with Our Elfie Contest” was a big success! Lots of local kids got into the action and flashed their pearly whites for us. There were so many cuties, it was difficult to choose the winners. In the end, these sweet pictures charmed us. They will all get prizes, and one of these happy faces will even end up on our cover. (We haven’t chosen a cover model yet.) We extend a hearty “Thank you!” to the terrific local businesses who displayed our elves in their stores. A great time was had by all. We’re looking forward to the return of the elves next year, when we reveal their new secret hiding places. Until then, have a great 2016!

Chase at Mountain Mike Pizza. Cylis at Scandia Rohnert Park .

ydney, & Saw yer, S at Clips re Dylan at G

C on nor & friends a t Laser ta g of Santa R os a .

Owen at Restyle Marketplace.

Madison at Redwood Empire Gymnastics

Jack at Sports City.

n& Brookly t a n o x x a S e d rz . R ebou n

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Jayden at Fundemonium Toys Hobbies and Games.

at H u d sy n n r e t Wes upply. Farm S

February 2016

SonomaFamilyLife 9

Indoor Winter Wonderland 16 Ways for Kids to Get Their Wiggles Out By Christina Katz

hen El NiĂąo is unleashing its full fury, and you are fresh out of fun ways to keep kids entertained, turn to this list of ideas. The key is to stop thinking like an adult and to remember how to think like a kid. Once you accomplish this, who knows what kind of mischief you will help your kids dream up?

1 2

Become a builder. Make a fort after lunch and then live in it until dinner. Ready, set, duck! Ball up some clean socks, turn some furniture sideways, and have a sock-ball fight.

Trashion passion. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in your recycle bins? Divide it up into two teams, mix in some plastic and paper bags, set a timer for one hour and see who can whip up some runway magic for a quick trashion runway show.

I say potato, you say potahto. Break out the potatoes, cut them in half, and carve the cut ends into stamps. Then transform leftover brown bags into recycled wrapping paper.

Stretch for it. Have a headstand or a handstand contest. Who is the straightest, who can last the longest, and who is the most poised?

Start a band. Make some music with either real instruments or whatever you can create out of what you have on hand.

3 4

Fun with flour. Make something that involves kneading, like bread, rolls, or pizza dough. One-legged kangaroo. Spend an hour hopping on only one foot every time you have to move around the house.

10 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Strike a laugh. Take turns playing yoga teacher and making up silly yoga poses. Not laughing yet? Add in funny breathing exercises.

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Let alter egos act out. Make sock or bag puppets, give them your quirkiest qualities, and then put on a puppet show.

Have a competition. Make a foursquare court in the basement or garage using painter’s tape, and then take turns playing.

Lip-synch battle. Everyone picks their favorite tunes and then battles it out on whatever kind of “stage” you can create. For extra fun, film the numbers and gather some short clips together into a compilation.

13 14

Bonsoir, Madame. Create a simple meal from a foreign culture like France, India, or Africa.

Musical fingers. Finger paint to different kinds of music. Let everyone choose a song and then compare the resulting images. Which music helped to create the most inspired paintings?

Climb, jump, and hop. Create an obstacle course in the basement or garage. Time everyone’s results. Then try to beat your best time.

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Get inspired. Watch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Walt Disney Pictures, 2005), and then draw what you imagine you would find on the other side of your hidden doorway. ¶ Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz has fond memories of getting snowed in for days when she was a kid. Her favorite activity was making obstacle courses in the basement.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

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February 2016

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SonomaFamilyLife 11

Kids and Cupid T Local Single Parents on the Search for Love By Melissa Chianta

12 SonomaFamilyLife

heir first date was amazing. They talked for hours and the chemistry was sizzling. Before long there was a wedding, then a new son, and, after a few years, another boy. Some 20 Christmases and birthdays had passed when one day there was a knock on the door. The man outside delivered some shocking news. “My wife has been having an affair with your husband for the last seven years.”

Cynthia was devastated. Overnight, the then 40-year-old Sonoma County stay-at-home mom joined the ranks of the nation’s 13.7 million single parents. Even though she didn’t think she would recover, she did, and eventually found herself ready to date again. But it wasn’t easy.

Any single parent will tell you that dating is full of obstacles. It’s hard to find free time, let alone the courage to open up again. Being able to sneak away for a few hours of fun is largely

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

dependent on custody arrangements and finding a good sitter. Money is also usually tight. Grace, a 40-year-old Sonoma County resident, rents out a room in her house, currently to an exchange student, to make ends meet. Meanwhile, Todd, a middle-aged Sonoma County dad, works one night a week driving for Lyft to fill in the holes in his budget.

What a single parent wants out of dating varies from person to person. Some are looking for potential partners and others just a night of interesting adult conversation. In addition to a dearth of time and cash, it can be hard to find someone who understands a parent’s priorities and lifestyle.

wanted to make new friends. They both saw a wide variety of men of various ages and walks of life in an effort to figure out what they wanted— and didn’t want—in a partner. For Cynthia, finally taking the step out into the dating world was an act of self-nurturance. She had felt guilty about making any time for herself, but once she did, it had a surprisingly positive impact, not only on herself, but also her kids, who were “a mess” post-divorce. “In a period of 30 days they went from being unhappy all the time to smiling all the time, and stayed that way. They were so connected to me that…it didn’t matter what I was doing for them because they could feel my sadness. It took me being selfish—getting a sitter or making sure their dad took them more—and suddenly they were fine,” she says.

Parents also require flexibility; they may need to reschedule at the last minute due to a sick child or a tantrum—or because they are just plain exhausted. And they don’t have a ton of extra cash for expensive restaurants or overnight trips.

Cynthia and Grace eventually both met potential long-term partners whom they’ve been with for about a year. Todd and Pam, a 47-year-old Lake County mom, are still looking. Both want a partner, but meeting people is a struggle. Neither has had much success with Internet dating, though Todd keeps trying. Pam gave up, after too many encounters with people she found dishonest and lacking self-awareness. Both seem to have better luck meeting people through friends.

What a single parent wants out of dating varies from person to person. Some are looking for potential partners and others just a night of interesting adult conversation or even a sexual liaison. For a while after their breakups, Cynthia and Grace just

Once a single parent does find someone he or she likes enough to date regularly, the issue then becomes when to introduce the new love interest to the children. Dr. Judith Phillips Sill, a Mendocino County psychologist with decades of

“Whomever you date is going to have to share you. When you are dating [without children], it’s all about the two of you. When you have kids, [they] come first,” says Cynthia.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

February 2016

experience working with children of divorce, recommends agreeing on a time frame with your co-parent—say six months to a year—and sticking to it. Sill is quick to point out that it’s not a good idea to introduce kids to a new partner right after a divorce, when children are acutely grieving the loss of their family unit and clinging to the hope that their parents will reconcile. Already in a vulnerable state, they may become afraid of losing their parent to a new partner or the partner’s children, she says. Cynthia knows that her kids attach easily and that “they would just fall apart if they had another loss,” so she’s been extremely cautious about introducing her children to anyone new. She’s waited as long as a year and a half. Louisa Gluck, a former Sonoma County psychotherapist, says that the six-months-to-one-year rule is a great guideline, but also admits that everyone’s situation is different. Grace, for instance, had planned to wait six months before any meet-and-greets

“Whomever you date is going to have to share you. When you have kids, [they] come first.”—Cynthia happened with her kids. But then she fell for someone they already knew. Regardless of how it happens, introducing a child to a new partner is a time of profound risk and vulnerability, says Gluck. But it’s a necessary step. There are some things that you aren’t going to SonomaFamilyLife 13

Good Guidance For concrete advice on dating with kids, see this list of books provided by Judith Phillips Sill, PhD. Jann Blackstone-Ford and Sharyl Jupe, Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce or Separation (Chicago Review Press, 2004). Benjamin D. Garber, Keeping Kids Out of the Middle: Child-centered Parenting in the Midst of Conflict, Separation, and Divorce (Health

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14 SonomaFamilyLife

Communications Inc., 2008). Kenneth Potts and Tammy Potts, Mix, Don’t Blend: A Guide to Dating, Engagement, and Remarriage with Children (A Safe Place Publishing, 2010). Isolina Ricci, Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child, rev. ed. (Touchstone, 2013).

know—like how your new partner and kids get along—until everyone spends time together. It doesn’t always go smoothly. Both kids and new partners are prone to jealousy. Cynthia’s first serious post-divorce partner responded with such resentment toward her kids when he first met them, she never let him see them again. Meanwhile, Pam’s nine-year-old boy was known to say with exasperation, “Are you going to be around later, or are you going home?” to her last serious boyfriend. Pam reassured her son that she would always love him and that she had plenty of warm fuzzies to share. “It’s like the sun. There’s lots to go around,” she told him. Grace similarly comforted her eight-year-old son after he told her he thought she loved her partner more than him. What if, even after being cautious and diligent, your child ends up attaching to someone who leaves? How can you help mitigate your kid’s sense of loss? “It depends on each individual case,” says Sill. “If your new relationship

has lasted say more than six months, and the kids have spent a great deal of time in the company of that person, then I think, depending on how old the children are, there needs to be a lot of attention [on]…honoring the relationship between the partner who is no longer around and the children.” This may mean working with a counselor, she says, to make sure everyone’s feelings are heard and needs are met. In some situations, a child may continue to hang out with a former partner for a while, until distance naturally grows between them. Or the former love may take on the role of a friend of the family—someone who is occasionally encountered but isn’t seen regularly. On the flip side, Gluck says sometimes children end up relating to the old boyfriend or girlfriend longer than a parent does. She knows of one instance where the former partner maintained a lifelong relationship with, and became an important mentor to, a child.

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Whether or not your relationship with a new interest works out, it’s essential, says Sill, to establish and maintain a positive and respectful relationship with your child’s other parent. Don’t talk about your ex in poor terms in front of your child or “hide” if you see him or her in public.

them to make them all messed up,” she says. “Those first couple of years I had to have some pretty big boundaries so I could heal. But I knew that the goal was to be able to be friends and raise our kids together, which we are actually very

After a difficult divorce, this may seem like a tall order, but for Cynthia it was the only way. After her own parents’ divorce, her mom and dad couldn’t be in the same room together for 20 years. She didn’t want to put her kids through that. So she gave herself time to recover and then eventually forgave her ex-husband, who is now a good friend and co-parent.

It’s not a good idea to introduce kids to a new partner right after a divorce.

“I never wanted anything so bad as those kids. And I did not have

good at. I loved my kids more than I hated him.” In order to get to the place of balance Cynthia feels she has achieved, single parents need support. Groups like North Bay

Single Parents provide healthy ways to socialize. However, Sill says, it’s not enough. She thinks that most communities ignore single-parent families, despite the fact that 34 percent of California’s children live in one, and wishes that churches and civic organizations did more for them. In the meantime, people like Cynthia, Pam, Grace, and Todd are making do with the resources they have. Whatever happens on the bumpy road of raising kids and opening their hearts, one thing is clear: The love they have for their children will always shine as brightly as the sun. ¶ Melissa Chianta is the features editor at Sonoma Family Life Magazine.

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SonomaFamilyLife 15

Show Me Your Smile

Tips for a Stress-free Dental Visit By Kimberly Blaker

hildren’s visits to the dentist are often fraught with anxiety for parents and kids alike. A negative childhood experience may result in continued anxiety over routine dental care even into adulthood. Knowing how to prepare your child— and yourself—for a pediatric dental visit can help avoid unpleasant or traumatic experiences.

while sitting in “the chair.” A child who has had a bad past experience, is unprepared, or senses his or her parent is afraid may start to worry. Children who are ill, have a physical or mental disability, a behavioral disorder, or developmental delay may also be difficult to treat. Regardless of the cause for poor behavior, it’s important to know how your dentist will work with it.

A child who is unprepared or senses a parent’s own fears may start to worry. The Power of One Your dentist may ask that you wait out in the lobby while your child has his or her cleaning. There’s a reason for this: Your child is more likely to cooperate if you aren’t around. So pick up a People magazine and relax. If distracting yourself with the latest Kardashian drama doesn’t keep your anxiety at bay, reassure yourself that dental office staff members are trained to make your child’s first experience fun and informative. Before performing any procedures, they will tell your child what is going to happen, which will hopefully allay his or her fears and build trust. If you’re still worried about sending in your child alone, ask your practitioner to make an exception. If you’re not satisfied, find another dentist. You Can’t Make Me There are many reasons children may become fearful or uncooperative

16 SonomaFamilyLife

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD) has developed guidelines for behavior management that include positive reinforcement, distraction, voice control, nonverbal communication, and the tell-show-do approach. These techniques are, in most cases, effective and lead to visits that end on a positive note. When Nothing Else Works Unfortunately, some children will simply not respond to the usual bag of tricks. When communication isn’t enough, the AAPD recommends several approaches, including protective stabilization or restraint, conscious sedation, or general anesthesia. The circumstances under which any of these methods are used depends on several factors, including the necessity of the dental work, the particular procedure, and the reason the child isn’t able to cooperate.

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Conscious sedation is sometimes used to calm children and to prevent injurious movement, as is protective stabilization or restraint. Some practitioners express concern about the latter approach, though, stating that restraining a child may intensify his or her feelings of helplessness and anxiety. Finally, general anesthesia is usually used only when other methods are inappropriate, and necessary dental services otherwise could not be rendered. Whatever the situation, the AAPD points out that none of these measures should be executed without your prior consent. ¶ Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer who has published articles in more than 200 publications. Find her at kimberlyblaker.com.

Fear Fighters: Help for the First Visit Read about it. Prepare your little one with one of these children’s books: Going to the Dentist by Anne Civardi (Usborne, 2010); Open Wide: A Visit to the Dentist by Cecile Schoberle and Barry Goldberg (Simon Spotlight/ Nickelodeon, 2000); Freddie Visits the Dentist by Nicola Smee (Barron’s Educational Series, 2000); or The Berenstain Bears Visit the Dentist by Stan

Berenstain and Jan Berenstain (Random House Books for Young Readers, 1981). Watch a flick. The video A Trip to the Dentist Through Pinatta’s View (2004), available on Amazon.com, uses a puppet to explain what happens during a teeth cleaning. Keep it simple and sweet. Explain to your child the procedures he or she will undergo, but avoid frightening terminology. Be sure to express positive feelings about your own dental experiences along the way. Tell the truth. Don’t try to soothe your child by lying about a procedure or possible pain. Instead, focus on alleviating any fears that may be out of proportion to the situation. Just breathe. Practice taking long, deep breaths with your child. If you know you’ll be in the treatment room during the procedure, offer your hand to hold.

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SonomaFamilyLife 17

The Littlest Adventurers

Choose the Best Camp for Your Kids

By Christina Katz

mistake parents can make when choosing a camp is confusing their children’s needs with their own needs. If you want your children to be happy at camp, focus on who they are rather than on who you were as a camper. Your goal is to create a harmonious relationship between each of your children and the camp experience, not for your children to follow in your well-worn hiking boots. 18 SonomaFamilyLife

Going to camp should be a choice for every child. Don’t force camp on children who are terrified by the idea. At the same time, feel free to plant the seed in your children’s minds from an early age that camp is a fun, life-enhancing adventure for those willing to try it. If older siblings have gone to camp and liked it, then younger siblings may already be eager to go themselves. But if your children are not enthusiastic, don’t push camp on them without learning more. Camp Considerations Feel free to present your camp experiences and what you got out of them to your kids, and invite others in the family to do the same. At the same time, however, communicate clearly your understanding that your child is not you or anyone else, and that you

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

like and respect the person your child is already. Sending children to camp to correct or fix things about them is backwards. The person who needs a change of attitude in this scenario is the parent, not the child. If you have worries or concerns about your children, don’t send them to camp to address those feelings. Find someone you can talk

You can’t send a child who is not like you to camp and get a version of yourself back. to so you can learn to accept your children for who they are and meet their range of individual needs. Kids who are secure and comfortable in their own skin thrive at camp, whereas kids who are insecure and anxious may flounder. A Range of Choices Sending kids to camp may have been your light-bulb moment, but in order for kids to feel good about the adventure, they need to buy in to the idea as well. The first question to ask yourself is this: Which types of camps are best suited to your children’s physical, emotional, and mental needs? Would day camp or overnight camp be the better choice at this developmental stage? If choosing an overnight camp, would your child prefer to be close or far from home? Also consider the mission and style of the camp. Would your child prefer to rough it for a week in the woods or stay in a cozy, family-style camp with modern amenities closer to home? www.sonomafamilylife.com

Respect Individuality Parents may need to let go of the idea that what was good for them as children is good for their kids. What was good for you when you were little may traumatize a sensitive child or a child with special needs. Strive to meet your kids where they are. You may experience some grieving when you let go of the idea of sharing your childhood experiences with your kids. But try to leave the past in the past, so you can make the healthiest choices for your family in the present. For example, if you were a rugged and athletic child, you may dream of playing ball or hoops with your kid. But your child may not have these same interests or talents. Perhaps your child is more artsy or a bookworm.

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What if you are different from your child in even more profound ways than personality? What if the two of you have very little in common at all? Would you both crave the same types of camp experiences? Would you even be likely to choose the same camps? You can’t send a child who is not like you to camp and get a version of yourself back. Not only does camp not work this way, life doesn’t work this way. Take a good, long look at each of your children. Resist the urge to see them as a version of yourself. None of them is you. There will never be another you in the world. Once you see, understand, and accept each of your children, then you can work together to choose the perfect camp. ¶ Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz has learned that seeing kids as the individuals they truly are always pays off in the long run.

February 2016

Be a part of our Summer Camp Adventure Guide

In March This Year! Call 205-1539 SonomaFamilyLife 19

Preschool Primer How to Choose a Quality Program

Beginning the search. While referrals from other parents are a good starting point, personal observations are vital. Make appointments to observe and interview licensed programs that interest you. Consider the following factors: Environment. Attractive decor is nice, but notice what activities the children are engaged in and if the

Studies indicate that children who experience quality early education are less likely to repeat grades or require special education.

By Christa Melnyk Hines

environment feels safe, secure, and healthy.

eeking an early education program? Invest some time in your search and know what questions to ask to ensure a positive preschool experience for your child.

“The first five years of life are the absolute most essential for a child’s development,” says Bev Adams, an expert in early childhood development and college professor. “Trying to choose [a program] by reading a 20 SonomaFamilyLife

handbook and then going and visiting for an hour…is not a good idea.” Long-term benefits. Studies indicate that children who experience quality early education are less likely to repeat grades or require special education. Early education can also nurture self-esteem and self-confidence, which are necessary— even more so than knowing letters and numbers—for successfully transitioning from preschool to kindergarten. “Other areas early childhood education supports [are] socialization skills, emotional maturity, and…sensory motor skills,” says Becky Bergman, a preschool program director.

“Look for any common safety hazards and observe sanitary measures, diaper changing procedures, foul smells, and cleanliness,” Bergman says. Throughout the center, you should hear children talking and see them playing in different areas of the classroom. “A quality preschool program understands that play is essential to a child’s life, to their experiences, to their positive growth and development. They not only accommodate play, they encourage it, they plan for it,” Adams says. “Young children don’t learn best through the teacher talking to them while they sit quietly in a large group. Young children learn through their senses, through exploring, through discovering, through their activities.”

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Good instructors. Seek experienced, warm-natured teachers trained in early childhood development. Credentialed early education teachers understand how to nurture a child’s social-emotional skills. “Watch for positive, encouraging interaction between teachers and students,” Bergman says. “Additionally, I would observe classroom size and number of students per room.” Group size. Licensed childcare centers must meet the state’s staff-to-child ratio requirements. State requirements aside, you know your child best. Beware of programs where you have trouble finding the adult in a roomful of children. Even a highly trained teacher will struggle

with providing the daily one-on-one attention and interaction that a young child needs in a crowded classroom. Communication. Consider how the school provides information to you about your child’s day-to-day activities and progress. While some schools

While referrals from other parents are a good starting point, personal observations are vital. will provide a handout of the day’s activities, others take a more high-tech approach. Bergman’s school, for example, uses a secure platform called LuvNotes™ to communicate with

parents. Parents can log in through the Web or their smart phones to find out what activities are planned for the day and what will be served for lunch. They also can get personalized daily reports, and photos and videos of their child. Trust your gut. From high-tech to no-frills, quality early education programs come in a variety of shapes and sizes—and with various amenities. While compiling your wish list, decide which items are nonnegotiable. Don’t feel rushed into a decision with which you aren’t completely comfortable. ¶ Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines and her husband are the parents of two boys. Hines’s latest book is Happy, Healthy, and Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.

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February 2016

12/28/2015 2:05:42 PM21 SonomaFamilyLife

Date Your Mate 25 Ways to Keep Your Lover

By Janeen Lewis

o you want to rekindle couple time with your partner, but can’t think of a date other than dinner and a movie (or falling asleep on the couch)? Hire a sitter or trade child care with another couple and try one of these creative ways to date your mate.

22 SonomaFamilyLife

Cheap Dates ♥ Stargaze. Find a spot away from city lights and look at the Milky Way, Orion’s Belt, or possibly a shooting star. ♥ Go to a local wine, beer, or cider tasting. ♥ Rent bikes and ride around town. If you feel really adventurous, try a tandem bike. ♥ Test your knowledge by participating in a local trivia night. Before making a debut, check out sporcle.com or funtrivia.com to play games that challenge your trivia knowledge. ♥ Visit a local pool hall. Shoot pool and play darts.

at home. Use silverware, china, candles, and cloth napkins. ♥ Take a cruise on a dinner yacht. ♥ Dine at a restaurant that has live entertainment like jazz or blues. Snuggle-at-Home Dates ♥ Make popcorn the old-fashioned way, with an air popper, and enjoy a romantic movie like Casablanca, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Sleepless in Seattle, or The Notebook. ♥ Play a board game for couples like Scene It? Squabble or Battle of the Sexes. ♥ Share pictures and home videos from before and after you became a couple.

♥ Ride cable cars around San Francisco.

♥ If you have a fire pit in the backyard, make s’mores and snuggle in front of the flames.

♥ Take a drop-in dance class.

Thrill-seeking Dates

Fancy Dates ♥ Make your most exquisite meal

♥ Take a hot-air balloon ride.

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

♥ Visit an amusement park and ride all the roller coasters. ♥ Race go-carts at a track. Outdoorsy Dates ♥ Hold hands and wade in a creek. ♥ Walk together at sunset on the beach.

Must present card to redeem offer. Offer ends 3/31/16

♥ Canoe or kayak together. ♥ Go on an outdoor treasure hunt by geocaching. Using a GPS, treasure seekers enter a specific set of coordinates and then attempt to find a hidden container at the location. Check out geocaching.com to find out more. ♥ Check out one of the myriad hikes in Sonoma, Lake, or Mendocino Counties. Around-town Dates ♥ Visit your local planetarium (try the Santa Rosa Junior College Planetarium in Santa Rosa, the Robert Ferguson Observatory in Kenwood, and the Taylor Observatory in Kelseyville). There is something romantic about viewing constellations in the night sky, even if it is indoors. ♥ Attend an art walk, an event where several art galleries open their doors for free viewings on the same night. ♥ Take a self-guided tour of your town. Check out shops and attractions. To mix things up, eat appetizers, dinner, and dessert in three different restaurants. ¶ Janeen Lewis is a freelance journalist and mom to Andrew and Gracie. She has been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Multitasking Mom’s Survival Guide (Chicken Soup for the Soul, 2014), and GreenPrints: The Weeder’s Digest.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

A set

now oPen in SanTa roSa

of barbells for the

brAin. Think abouT working ouT every day at the gym with a personal trainer who customizes every workout, holds you accountable, and encourages you beyond your comfort zone. That’s what one-on-one cognitive training is like. Learningrx trains the cognitive skills the brain uses to learn, read, and pay attention. we identify weak skills and then work on them through targeted, one-on-one personal training. and it’s fun! if your child struggles, call us today to schedule an assessment and find out why. we call it brain training. Parents and kids call it life changing.

50% off a cognitive skills assessment at Learningrx Santa rosa (707) 890-2300 | www.learningrx.com/santa-rosa Training also available at www.learningrx.com/petaluma

February 2016

SonomaFamilyLife 23

Acceptance is what allows us to relax and be ourselves. Emotions make us human; accepting them is what allows feelings to pass through us without taking over the entire show. This is true for parents and children. When parents

Affection is always win-win, benefitting both the hugger and the hugged.

Put Love into Action

unconditionally love and accept their children and their emotional experiences, then children can learn to accept and love themselves.

4 Ways to Show You Care

By Christina Katz

ust because you have a family does not mean you have a close family. The four love actions—attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection— can help you create a safe, secure environment so everyone in the family can relax, feel their feelings, and love each other.

Attention is a basic human need. When we are children, attention from our parents is what helps us learn how to take care of ourselves. Babies who don’t get enough attuned care cannot thrive. A child who does not get noticed enough may have trouble acknowledging his or her feelings. As adults, it’s important that we continue to pay attention to and take care of ourselves. If we don’t, it’s easy to 24 SonomaFamilyLife

become drained and depleted. Paying attention to ourselves means putting ourselves first and staying constantly aware of our feelings and impulses so we can steer our way appropriately through life. If you feel out of touch with this love action, start with self-attention and then take time to observe those closest to you. When you do, you’ll intuitively know what to say and do.

If you feel out of touch with this love action, work on self-acceptance and then extend an accepting attitude to your loved ones. You’ll quickly see how self-acceptance leads to more tolerance of others. Appreciation makes us feel like we have something to offer. When you pay attention to and accept people, you may naturally come to appreciate them. Children and adults alike thrive when they feel genuinely appreciated. When we appreciate our children’s authentic self-expression, we encourage them to become more themselves. When we appreciate our own work and efforts, we can face the world with more optimism and cheer. If you feel out of touch with this love action, start with self-appreciation and then try valuing your loved ones more. The wonderful thing is that as soon as you practice the art of appreciation, you feel better

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

immediately, even if you are out of practice. Affection warms our hearts and helps us feel connected to others. Affection builds on attention, acceptance, and appreciation. It can be communicated by words, gestures, and touch. Saying, “I love you,” doing thoughtful things, holding hands, and offering hugs expresses our internal feelings of fondness towards another. When we experience fondness from others, we can love ourselves more easily. A word on touch: Always be respectful of children’s personal space. If they don’t want to be touched, find other ways to show affection. If you feel out of practice with this love action,

Children and adults alike thrive when they feel genuinely appreciated. start with self-affection and then gradually express more warmth for your family. Affection is always win-win, benefitting both the hugger and the hugged. Parenting can be complicated. But choosing loving actions on an ongoing basis can bring it back to the basics of simply connecting with each other. Activate the power of the four love actions in your home and watch the immediate, positive effect they have on you, your family, and the world. ¶

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Upcoming Family Events in Santa Rosa Fishing in the City Fishing Derby

Fairytale Ball

February 20

A dance party for kids and their favorite chaperone at Finley Center

Crab Feed at Finley

February 27

Annual all-you-can-eat dinner to benefit Senior Programs

February 7

Kids’ fishing contest with prizes at Lake Ralphine in Howarth Park

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz is not fond of clichés. She likes to break them down and make them spill their secrets.

February 6

Learn to fish with firefighters at Lake Ralphine in Howarth Park

CMY

2016

Arbor Day Tree Planting Party Visit santarosarec.com for event details

March 12

Plant trees & celebrate Luther Burbank’s birthday at Southwest Park

St. Patrick’s Day 5K

March 13

Celebrate the Irish Holiday with fitness and fun at Juilliard Park

Spring Egg Hunt for Tots

March 26

Proceeds benefit the Scholarship Fund. At Howarth Park For accessible information, call (707) 543-3292/TDD (707) 543-3289 (M-F 8am-5pm)

www.sonomafamilylife.com

February 2016

SonomaFamilyLife 25

We may avoid conflict because we fear our expertise or importance might be questioned and that makes us feel insecure. The most effective people I know are those who do not take themselves too seriously. They understand that self-importance and the need to see oneself as adept at all times can be a weakness. If we can overcome our fear of losing our reputation and being judged as not so clever or wise after all, we can find it easier to engage in conflicts that

Speak Your Truth Tips for Managing Conflict By Carl Greer

26 SonomaFamilyLife

onflict is necessary for growth, but we often avoid it. Sometimes it’s because we feel emotionally insecure when we think about contradicting someone we care about or bringing up a topic that might make them defensive. Yet we might be overestimating the risk of their responding with anger, hurt, or resistance to what we have to say. Even if some risk is involved, and the other person is not entirely happy with our confronting them, avoidance can be a costly choice. We might miss valuable potential payoffs, such as the opportunity to learn, to expand our expertise, or to deepen our emotional intimacy with another person.

The most effective people I know are those who do not take themselves too seriously. might lead us to becoming even more knowledgeable and skilled. By using psychological techniques for accessing the unconscious mind, we can let go of any fear of conflict and engage in difficult conversations that hold potential for growth. We can discover ways to resolve conflicts rather than avoid them. In my work as a psychologist in clinical practice, I’ve had people complain to me about someone in their lives. When I ask, “Have you talked to the other person about your complaints?” they often admit they haven’t. They want to avoid an uncomfortable conversation and hope someone else will resolve the conflict—or that it will resolve on its own. Usually at this point in

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

our conversation, I will help free them from the grip of ego fears and self-importance by using techniques that engage the unconscious mind. I know this can help them face their fears and resistance. I might have them close their eyes and allow their fear of confrontation to arise in their mind and become a symbol. I

We can discover ways to resolve conflicts rather than avoid them. tell them to ask this symbol, “What message do you have for me?” and “What do you want from me?” When the symbol answers, it speaks with the wisdom of the unconscious mind. In such a conversation, a person might discover that her fear of conflict is related to a fear of losing a relationship that is important to her. She might discover that she is holding on to shame leftover from childhood and afraid of being seen as a lightweight whose ideas and opinions have little value. If there is a conflict you are avoiding or dreading, you might want to take a walk in a natural area or spend some time just sitting among the trees or on a park bench. Don’t think about the conflict. Instead, simply observe nature. Pay attention to the movements of the leaves, the creatures, and the clouds. Bring your awareness to the sensation of breathing and to the feeling of sitting on the earth. Notice what you are hearing, seeing, smelling, and experiencing. Let your senses come alive. Then, ask yourself, “What do I need to know about talking to (fill in the name of the person you need www.sonomafamilylife.com

to face or confront)?” or “What do I need to know about this conflict I’ve been avoiding?” Wait quietly for an answer. The answer or insight might come in symbolic form, perhaps as a movement of animals or insects, a sound coming from far away, or a shape in the clouds. Although these natural phenomena may seem random, your unconscious mind can work with nature and its symbols to provide your conscious mind with insights. What might that squirrel switching directions and scurrying away be telling you? What message does the sound of a bubbling creek have for you concerning the conversation you have been dreading? After using these techniques involving your intuition and your unconscious

mind, you might want to journal about what you learned. The unconscious mind is a rich pool of insights, energies, and information that can be used in everyday life to resolve problems and identify positive actions you can take to change your life. By tapping into it, you make it easier to let go of any fear or anxiety about conflict and face it with confidence and even curiosity about the possible outcomes. In fact, sitting quietly on a park bench and watching the clouds may be just what you need to ensure a positive resolution to the conflict before you. ¶ Carl Greer, PhD, PsyD, is the author of Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Using Shamanic and Jungian Tools to Achieve Personal Transformation (Findhorn Press, 2014). Find out more at carlgreer.com.

Where ideas become reality. Live Music! Food Trucks, Prizes. Family friendly event!

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SonomaFamilyLife 27

Family Fun Take your sweetheart to Seghesio Family Vineyards in Healdsburg.

Keep Love Alive

Valentine’s Day Dates to Remember W

hat kind of valentine are you? A music hound? Wordsmith? Wine lover? Chocoholic? No matter what your pleasure, we have a date that’s just right for you and your honey—and a couple the kids will enjoy, too. (For even more great ideas, see our article “Date Your Mate” on page 22.)

A Sweet Ride Get on board the love train and experience the romance of another era, when the railroad was king. Dine on a gourmet multiple-course meal and sip on a glass of sparkling wine as you wind your way through picturesque Napa Valley on this three-hour train ride. Boarding is at 6 p.m. on February 13 and 11 a.m. and 6 p.m. on February 14. Tickets are $139 per person and may be purchased at winetrain.com/package/valentines-day or by calling 800-427-4124.

Candlelight and Vino At the Seghesio Valentine’s Day Dinner, you can mingle with your sweetheart in a candlelit wine cellar and then head upstairs to dine on a gourmet dinner paired with premium wines, including small-lot and library vintages. The event will be held on February 13 at 7 p.m. at Seghesio Family Vineyards in Healdsburg. Tickets are $150 per person, $125 for club members, and may be purchased at seghesio.com.

28 SonomaFamilyLife

Tart and Juicy Experience zest for life and love at the Cloverdale Citrus Fair. Tickle your taste buds with tart lemons or sweet oranges then hop on a dreamy Ferris wheel ride or kick up your heels to live country music. The fair, held February 12–15 at the Cloverdale Citrus Fairgrounds in Cloverdale, will start with a parade in downtown Cloverdale on February 13 at 11 a.m. Admission is $7; $5 for ages 6–12 and 62 and over. Download a parade route and find other information at cloverdalecitrusfair.org. February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

ONE COMMUNITY

Plenty of Fish Whether or not you’ve found your special someone, the Lake Sonoma Steelhead Festival on February 13, 10 a.m.–4 p.m., is a family-friendly way to spend V-day weekend. Partake in local wine and beer, food, arts and craft projects, live music, and, of course, fishing. Educational tours of the Congressman Don Clause Fish Hatchery will also be available. The event will be held at the Milt Brandt Visitor Center at Lake Sonoma in Geyserville. Admission is free. See lakesonoma.org for details. Pedals and Pipes You may think of organ music as more suitable for a church service than a date. But Cameron Carpenter would like to convince you otherwise. The musician, who has been compared to both Liberace and Billy Idol, will be bringing his custom-made international touring digital organ to Weill Hall at the Green Music Center at Sonoma State University in Rohnert Park. And he plans to rock the house. The concert is on February 12 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $35 and may be purchased at gmc.sonoma.edu.

3 AMAZING SCHOOLS

PARK SIDE (K-4)

A Taste for Love Enjoy two notorious

Nick Hoffman

aphrodisiacs, wine and chocolate, at the VML Winery in Healdsburg on February 14, 11 a.m.–5 p.m. The special tasting and pairing will include the wineries newly released sparkling wine. Flights are $15. No tickets are necessary, but reservations are required for parties of eight or more. See vmlwinery. wordpress.com/events for more information.

BROOK HAVEN (5-8)

An Afternoon of Arias Let Susan Graham’s booming voice, groomed under the big skies of New Mexico, embrace you and yours in a world of sound. The mezzo-soprano will join conductor Nicholas McGegan and the Philharmonia Baroque Orchestra to perform an afternoon of arias on February 14. Also on tap will be Handel’s vibrant Water Music, composed for King George I and originally played on a barge in the River Thames. (You can’t get more romantic than that!) The performance will be held at 3 p.m. at Weill Hall at the Green Center, Sonoma State University, Rohnert Park. Tickets start at $35 and may be purchased at gmc.sonoma.edu.

Heady Bliss Is your love the literary kind? Take her or him to Books on Stage and listen to novelists Lisa Michaels and Roy Parvin converse about the world of writing. Michaels’s novel Grand Ambition (W. W. Norton, 2002) was named Best Book of the Year by the Los Angeles Times, and her memoir Split (Mariner, 1999), about her counter-culture childhood, was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year. Meanwhile, Parvin’s award-winning collection of fiction, In the Snow Forest: Three Novellas (W. W. Norton, 2000), was turned into a critically acclaimed film in 2011. The event will be held at the Cloverdale Performing Arts Center in Cloverdale on February 11 at 7 p.m. Admission is free.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

February 2016

CASTLE CHILD CARE Preschool & School Age PROGRAMS

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February

Calendar of Events Dancing Lions, Oh My!

elebrate the year of the monkey by taking your little chimps to the Chinese New Year Celebration at the Santa Rosa Veterans Memorial Building in Santa Rosa on February 20, 5–8:30 p.m. Nosh on traditional food while kids are wowed by dancing lions, glowing lanterns, and a 250-foot dragon marching in the event’s parade. Also check out two other Lunar New Year celebrations featuring performances by the Sonoma Vietnamese Association Lions Dance Team, one on February 3 at 4 p.m. at the Windsor Regional Library in Windsor, and another on February 6 at 10:30 a.m. at the Rincon Valley Library in Santa Rosa. ¶

Monday 1 FREE Sculpture Trail. Enjoy & interpret the art of sculptures on the streets of Cloverdale & Geyserville. Thru May 5. cloverdaleartsalliance.org. Rock-n-Glow Bowling. Family

fun with LED lane-lighting & automated scoring. Special bumper-rails for kids. Mondays. 5–10 p.m. $10 for 2 hours. Shoes included. Windsor Bowl. 8801 Conde Ln, Windsor. windsorbowl.com.

Santa Rosa Symphony One-for-One.

Get one youth (ages 7–17) ticket when you purchase one adult ticket on Classical Series concerts. Call 54-MUSIC. Prices vary. Sonoma State University. Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Blvd., Rohnert Park. santarosasymphony.com. Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserve. Picnic,

hike & hug ancient trees. 8 a.m. to 1 hour after sunset. Visitor Center: 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Parking $8. Senior parking $7. Free

to pedestrians & bicyclists. 17000 Armstrong Woods Rd., Guerneville. parks.ca.gov.

Tuesday 2 FREE First Tuesday at the de Young Museum. Golden

Gate Park. 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr., San Francisco. deyoung.famsf.org. FREE Petaluma East Side Farmers Market. Year-round. Rain or shine. Tuesdays. 10 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Deer

Special Barrel Tasting Weekends Friday, March 4th & 11th Sunday, March 6th & 13th

for Sonoma Family Life readers 10% OFF Discount

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30 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Creek Village next to City Sports. 501 N. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma. communityfarmersmarkets.com.

Wednesday 3 FREE Introduction to 3D Printing Workshop. See

the MakerBot Replicator 2 3D Printer in action! Ages 5–17. 6–7:30 p.m. Sebastopol Regional Library. 7140 Bodega Ave., Sebastopol. sonomalibrary.org. FREE Celebrate Lunar New Year!

Performance by Lion Dance Team, which consists of students from Technology High School in Rohnert Park & trained by Sifu Henry Tang. 4 p.m. Windsor Regional Library. 9291 Old Redwood Hwy., Bldg. 100, Windsor. sonomalibrary.org. FREE Winter Book Sale. Thru

Feb. 6. Daily. Members only Feb. 3. Rohnert Park Cotati Regional Library. 6250 Lynne Condé Way, Rohnert Park. sonomalibrary.org. FREE Santa Rosa Original Certified Farmers Market. Open

year-round. Wednesdays. 8:30 a.m.–noon. Saturdays. 8:30 a.m.–1 p.m. Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. thesantarosafarmersmarket.com. FREE Santa Rosa Community Farmers Market. Live music. Open year-round. Wednesdays. 9 a.m.–1 p.m. Saturdays. 8:30 a.m.–1 p.m. Veterans Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. localharvest.org. FREE Financial Aid & FAFSA Workshop. Part of the library’s “Path to College” series. Bring your own laptop, if possible. Bilingual. 6–8 p.m. Central Santa Rosa

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Library. 211 E. St., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org. FREE First Wednesday at Bay Area Discovery Museum. 9

a.m.–4 p.m. 557 McReynolds Rd., Sausalito. baykidsmuseum.org.

Thursday 4 Into the Woods. Tony Award–winning

Do you change your own oil? (in your cars, trucks, boats, or motorcycles)

musical intertwines the plots of several fairy tales featuring a 14-piece orchestra. Thru Feb. 14. 7:30 p.m. Starting at $10. Sonoma State University (SSU) students free. SSU. Evert B. Person Theatre. 1801 E. Cotati Blvd., Rohnert Park. gmc.sonoma.edu.

Friday 5 FREE Sonoma Valley Certified Farmers Market. Open

year-round. Fridays. 9 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Arnold Field. 241 W. First St., Sonoma. svcfm.org. FREE Mindful Minis. Kids

Yoga & Meditation Workshop. Increases awareness, self-esteem & balance. Ages 6–12. 4 p.m. Healdsburg Regional Library. 139 Piper St., Healdsburg. sonomalibrary.org. FREE Bodega Marine Laboratory Tours. Explore

the dynamic biodiversity of the Northern California Coast. Fridays. 2–4 p.m. 2099 Westside Rd., Bodega Bay. bml. ucdavis.edu. The Taming of Katy Lou. Hilarious

modern-day musical based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. Thru Feb. 7. 7 p.m. $15. Ages 12 & under $10. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. rpcity.org. February 2016

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SonomaFamilyLife 31

Moscow Festival Ballet. Romeo & Juliet. 8 p.m. $20–$65. Marin Veterans’ Memorial Auditorium. 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. marincounty.org. FREE First Friday at Santa Rosa Junior College (SRJC) Planetarium.

View the stars & planets of that night. Come early for free parking pass. Donations appreciated. 7 & 8:30 p.m. SRJC. 1501 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. santarosa.edu.

Saturday 6 FREE Whale Watch at Bodega Head.

The amazing sight of the yearly migration of Pacific Gray Whales. Watch pregnant whales travel north, while juvenile whales travel south! Volunteers available to help you

spot whales. Weekends. Thru May. Bodega Head. FREE Bilingual Storytime/Hora

Saturdays. 9 a.m.–1 p.m. Sharpsteen Plaza. 1235 Washington St., Calistoga. calistogafarmersmarket.org.

de Cuentos para Niños. Stories

FREE Celebrate Chinese New

in Spanish & English, songs, crafts. Ages 2–5. 10 a.m. Roseland Community Library. 779 Sebastopol Rd., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org.

Year! The

FREE African-American Folktales with Kirk Waller. Celebrate Black History Month with spoken word, rhythm, music & movement. Ages 5 & up. 11 a.m.–noon. Sebastopol Regional Library. 7140 Bodega Ave., Sebastopol. sonomalibrary.org. FREE Calistoga Farmers Market.

Hot tamales, fruit crepes, savory sandwiches, fresh spring rolls, unique gift items, musician of the day.

year of the monkey. All ages. Dance groups, calligraphy, crafts, fortune cookies, tai chi & martial arts. 1 p.m. Central Santa Rosa Library. 211 E. St., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org. FREE The Gravenstein Mandolin Ensemble. Music

from Handel to Joplin with musical excursions to Brazil, Italy, Ireland & Brooklyn. 2 p.m. Guerneville Regional Library. 14107 Armstrong Woods Rd., Guerneville. sonomalibrary.org. FREE SF Opera’s Sing-A-Story: Cinderella. Ages

4 & up. 2 p.m. Petaluma Regional Library. 100

AT Y CAMP, YOUR CHILD WILL MAKE MEMORIES THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME! SIGN-UP FOR CAMP STARTING MARCH 2nd Adventure Camp•Sports Camp•Super Science Camp•Little Campsters•Moving On Camp•Kids Club & Counselor in Training Program Call or visit us for more details & registration information. 707.544.1829 www.scfymca.org Sonoma County Family Y  1111 College Avenue  Santa Rosa 707-545-9622  www.scfymca.org The Y is a non-profit community based organization.

32 SonomaFamilyLife

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Fairgrounds Dr., Petaluma. sonomalibrary.org. 27th Annual Great Sonoma Crab & Wine Fest. Silent

& live auctions. Benefits agricultural education programs & scholarships for youth. Sonoma County Fairgrounds. 1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa. sonomafb.org. FREE Nuestros Parques Hike.

Spanish-language nature hike. Every 1st Saturday. 10 a.m.–12 p.m. Ragle Ranch Regional Park. 500 Ragle Rd., Sebastopol. parks. sonomacounty.ca.gov. Star Party! 7

p.m. $3. Under 18 free. Parking $8. Robert Ferguson Observatory. 2605 Adobe Canyon Rd., Kenwood. rfo.org. FREE Learn How to Pier Fish.

Ideal for all ages. All skill levels are welcome & no experience is necessary. Poles available on a “first come, first served” basis. No pets (except service animals). 9–11 a.m. Paradise Beach Park. 3450 Paradise Dr., Tiburon. marincounty.org.

Sunday 7 FREE Rohnert Park Certified Farmers Market. Open

year-round. Sundays. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. City Center Plaza. 500 City Center Dr., Rohnert Park. rpcity.org. FREE Boating at the Barn.

Volunteers help you try a nonmotorized vessel: canoe, kayak, rowboat, or sailboat on the Petaluma River. Open year-round. Sundays. 10 a.m.–1 p.m. friendsofthepetalumariver.org. FREE Sebastopol Farmers Market. Accepting

year-round. Sundays. 10 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Sebastopol Plaza. Weeks Way across from Whole Foods Market. sebastopolfarmmarket.org.

Wednesday 10 a suave cat wearing boots as he tries to clear his name. Full of notable fairytale characters. Rated PG. 6 p.m. Rohnert Park Cotati Library. 6250 Lynne Condé Way, Rohnert Park. sonomalibrary.org.

WE LOVE TO PARTY!

FREE Family Movie Night. Follow

FREE Volunteer Orientation for Teens. Have

fun. Help out your community. Earn community service hours. 3–4 p.m. Petaluma Regional Library. 100 Fairgrounds Dr., Petaluma. sonomalibrary.org. FREE Transition Fair. For special education students who are no longer eligible for school-based programs. Find out about 40 agencies that provide higher education, job training, employment, day programs, living options & health services to adults with disabilities. 3–6 p.m. Sonoma County Office of Education. 5340 Skylane Blvd., Santa Rosa. scoe.org.

Thursday 11

Birthday Party & Group Events $150 For up to 6 participants. Additional climbers $24 each Includes: • 2 hours of climbing with Vertex staff belaying/supervising the group. • Access to our fun and challenging Obstacle Course (weather permitting). • Use of our party room during and after event. • Harness rentals are included. • Shoe rentals are $5 per pair (not necessary if kids are wearing closed-toe shoes).

BEST GIFT EVER! GIFT CARDS AVAILABLE Come get your climb on at VERTEX!

FREE After School Movie. Snacks provided. Ages 12–18. 4 p.m. Rincon Valley Library. 6959 Montecito Blvd., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org. Balloonacy. Award-winning story of a lonely man set in his ways & his friendship with a balloon that opens his heart. Ages 3 & up. Thru Feb. 13. 10 a.m. & 11:30 a.m. Youth $10. Adult $15. Cinnabar Theater.

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www.sonomafamilylife.com

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3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. cinnabartheater.org.

Friday 12 Sleepovers at California Academy of Sciences. Live

animal demonstrations, after-hours planetarium show, continental breakfast. Price includes next-day admission. Nonmembers $109. Members $89. Golden Gate Park. 55 Music Concourse Dr., San Francisco. calacademy.org. 48th Annual Coin Show. Thru Feb. 13. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. $2. Under 12 free. Sonoma County Fairgrounds. 1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa. sonomacountyfair.com.

ur Spark yo y ! it Creativ y ! a Call Tod

Cloverdale Citrus Fair. Runs

rain or shine. Thru Feb. 15. See website for details. Cloverdale Citrus Fairgrounds. Citrus Fair Dr. & S. Washington St., Cloverdale. cloverdalecitrusfair.org. Kids Night at the Museum. Dinner, games, art, cartooning & crafts. Advanced reservations required. 5–9 p.m. Nonmembers $32. Members $25. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

Saturday 13 FREE Steelhead Festival. Food trucks, beer, wine & lots of fish. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Milt Brandt Visitors Center. Lake Sonoma. 3333

Sonoma County Airport

Skaggs Springs Rd., Geyserville. lakesonoma.org.

Sunday 14 Valley Ford Relay. 4

person x 2.75 miles each. 9–11 a.m. Team registration deadline Feb. 11. Members free. Nonmembers $10. Dinucci’s Italian Dinners. 14485 Valley Ford Rd., Valley Ford. empirerunners.org. FREE Museum Admission for Red-haired Girls & Boys. In

celebration of Valentine’s Day. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

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Monday 15

Saturday 20

Chinese New Year Festival.

FREE Puppet Art: The Tale of the

Delicious Chinese food for sale. A variety of cultural demonstrations. The spectacular Lion Dance Team. 9 a.m.–4 p.m. $13.95. Bay Area Discovery Museum. Fort Baker. 557 McReynolds Rd., Sausalito. baykidsmuseum.org.

Dragon’s Tail. Ages

Friday 19 Cupids Celebration Slumber Party at the Y! Supervised

swimming, games, movies, crafts, more. Snacks & breakfast. Grades 1–6. 7 p.m.–9 a.m. $20–$35. Sonoma County Family Y. 1111 College Ave., Santa Rosa. scfymca.org.

haircut

4 & up. 2 p.m. Guerneville Regional Library. 14107 Armstrong Woods Rd., Guerneville. sonomalibrary.org. Mardi Gras Cat Show. Benefits

local cat charities. Thru Feb. 21. Feb. 20: 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Feb. 21: 9 a.m.–4 p.m. Sonoma County Fairgrounds. 1350 Bennett Valley Rd., Santa Rosa. srcatshow.com. FREE Spring Lake Family Nature Walk. Families

can return to the Environmental Discovery Center for nature-themed crafts & explore the touchable tide pool. Every 3rd Saturday. 1 p.m. & 3 p.m. Environmental Discovery Center.

Braves in Motion

393 Violetti Rd., Santa Rosa. parks. sonomacounty.ca.gov. Climb Aboard Vintage Aircraft.

DC-6 Airliner cockpit. Thru Feb. 21. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. $5–$10. Under 6 free. Pacific Coast Air Museum. One Air Museum Way, Santa Rosa. pacificcoastairmuseum.org. Chinese New Year Celebration.

5–8:30 p.m. Veterans Memorial Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. recacenter.org.

Sunday 21 An Intimate Evening with Rickie Lee Jones. All ages. No toddlers. 8 p.m.

$41. Mystic Theatre. 21 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. mystictheatre.com.

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SonomaFamilyLife 35

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY! Birthday Parties Public Skating Fundraisers Private & Group Instruction

FREE Comedy Open Mic. Featuring comedians, stand-up & comedic acts. All ages. Every 3rd Sunday. 8 p.m. Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. hopmonk.com. Roald Dahl’s The BFG by Dallas Children’s Theater. Wacky

CAL SKATE Roller Skating & Blading Center

585-0500 • FOR RESERVATIONS: 585-0494 6100 COMMERCE BLVD. • WWW.CALSKATE.COM

Cross & Crown Lutheran School

Where the JOY of learning meets the JOY of the Lord

tale comes to life with puppets & people creating a fantastical world of towering giants & magical adventures. Ages 3–8. 3 p.m. Adult

CAPTURE THE MOMENT Proposal, Engagement and Wedding Photography!

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Put Your Affairs in Order • • • • • •

FREE Consultation

Nominate Guardians for Minors Revocable Living Trusts Wills Powers of Attorney Meet at Your Home

Evening & Weekend Appointments Available

707-431-7250

Maria Grace Wilson, Attorney at Law mgracewilson@comcast.net 36 SonomaFamilyLife

Friday 26 FREE Fitness Fun with MyGym.

Fitness & movement activities for little ones with mobile MyGym. Ages 0–3. 10:30 a.m. Healdsburg Library. 139 Piper St., Healdsburg. sonomalibrary.org.

Saturday 27 FREE The Susan Comstock Swingtet. Classic jazz, blues, swing & Latin styles in an acoustic-based amplified modern context. 2–3 p.m. Rincon Valley Library. 6959 Montecito Blvd., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org. Crab Feed. All-you-can

2 - 5 years Preschool Jr. Kindergarten - Kindergarten 1st - 6th Grade Preschool license #490100475

Call or email to visit our school:

$17. Child $12. Lap Pass (for kids under 2) $5. Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. wellsfargocenterarts.org.

707-892-3565

www.natashamcguire.com

eat dinner, dessert & raffle. Benefits aquatic programs. 6–9 p.m. $50. Finley Community Center. 2060 W. College Ave., Santa Rosa. ci.santa-rosa.ca.us. B Mî `ƒ

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Moon Music

tep back in time with the melodies of the 18th and 19th century at the Valley of the Moon Festival: Program III on February 13 at 3 p.m. Listen to the music of Schubert deftly played on period instruments, including violin, cello, and fortepiano. The event will be held at Schroeder Hall at the Green Music Center, Sonoma State University, Rohnert Park. Tickets are $30 and may be purchased at gmc.sonoma.edu. ¶

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Now accepting applications for 2015/16 school year

To find the Pediatrician that’s right for you, call 1-888-699-DOCS (3627) or visit sutterpacific.org

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SonomaFamilyLife 37

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Classified Marketplace Wings After School Martial & Arts Lessons Program

Wings

Lessons Western Riding Lessons Youth Camps & Birthday Parties

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AFTER SCHOOL WITH PONIES!

or some epicureans, there is no better delight than the right pairing of fine food and wine. Find both at the Vinolivo Grand Tasting on February 26 at 7 p.m. at the Renaissance Lodge at Sonoma Resort and Spa in Sonoma. Enjoy the offerings of more than 60 local wineries and 25 top restaurateurs, including one room devoted entirely to bubbly. Tickets are $75 in advance, $85 at the door. Before and after the tasting, during the weekend of February 26–28, get special access to 40 wineries, including private vineyard tours. Tickets are $50 for all three days, or $25 for one day, and may be purchased at sonomavalleywine.com. ¶

M-F from after school until 6pm • We Pick Up! Free Shuttle from School to our Studio • Daily Karate Classes & Homework Time • Light Meal Provided • Child Centered Curriculum

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The King’s Singers

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he internationally renowned King’s Singers do more than 120 concerts a year, and one will be in Santa Rosa. The male a cappella ensemble will be singing a collection of traditional songs from around the world, including their native Great Britain as well as South Africa and continental Europe. The show will be on February 19 at 7:30 p.m. at Weill Hall at the Green Music Center, Sonoma State University, Rohnert Park. Tickets start at $35 and may be purchased at gmc.sonoma.edu. ¶ www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Classified Marketplace Parties

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Tutoring

Health

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SHAPING BODIES FOR LIFE

Premium Studio Locally owned & operated PILATES • BARRE • RETAIL

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40 SonomaFamilyLife

Buying or Selling?

End School Frustration! Our high quality tutors can help with:

Academic Subjects • Test Prep Foreign Languages Study Skills • ESL

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707-515-6683

www.mikkimoves.com License #01913386

Counseling Is Your Child Defiant, Stubborn, or Aggressive? It doesn’t have to be that way. For children 3-6. Start to see results in just 6 sessions. ASK ABOUT A FREE CONSULTATION

707-545-4600 www.srcbt.org

Sonoma County Child Support Services 3725 Westwind Blvd., Ste 200 Santa Rosa, CA 95403

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Sonna, Crystal, Katie, Lindsay, Megan, Melanie, and Morgan

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February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Schools

Childcare/Preschools

Montessori In Motion Now Offering Kindergarten

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• Traditional Montessori Curriculum • Ages 2 - 6 years old • Kindergarten Program • Summer Program

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PRICINGwww.scfymca.org & Health & Nutrition, Motor Skil REGISTRATION: Interpersonal Relationships, S Register at the Parks and Recreation Office YMCA Program Office The Y isConfidence, a non-profit community based organization. and Cognitive 9291 Old Redwood Hwy., Bldg. 300D 707.544.1829 Financial Assistance is available. 838-1260 • townofwindsor.com Academic Skills.

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A monthly class for parents connecting us with the magic of the seasons.

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Visit our new mobile-friendly website

SonomaFamilyLife.com February 2016

The Y is a non-profit community based organization. Financial Assistance is available.

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The Bridge School. Located in Central Santa Rosa, 1625 Franklin Ave. Year-round full/half–day. Rich nurturing environment. Center based program for ages 3–5 with separate 2’s program. Caring, qualified teachers. Julie & Andrew Day; owners. Lic.#493005697. 575-7959.

Playtime Daycare/Preschool Join our loving family. Spacious playroom, large yard, meals provided. CPR & first aid certified. M-F. Infants & up. Call Wendy 539-7524. Lic. #04746.

SonomaFamilyLife 41

Humor Break

A Nap, a My V-Day Shower, and a Dry Wish List Toilet Seat By Holly Hester

hen my husband and I were first dating, we took Valentine’s Day very seriously. Preparation took months. Love letters were gut-wrenchingly written, romantic getaways were meticulously planned, and rose petals and glitter were bought in bulk. By the time February 14 rolled around, we looked like we were reenacting the final episode of The Bachelor. But 13 years and three kids later, our Valentine’s Day has changed, well, a little. My husband still tries to be romantic, but handing me a dozen roses from Safeway while I stand in my hoodie and sweats surrounded by screaming children doesn’t exactly me make feel like I’m living in a Shakespeare sonnet. So instead of trying to recreate a Valentine’s Day that we can obviously no longer achieve, I’ve thought of some other gifts of love.

For a whole day, I don’t want to sit on a wet toilet seat. This gift of love will be given to me by my two sons, who, although very strong, can’t seem to muster the strength to lift a toilet seat.

I would love my husband to clean something. I don’t really care what it is—kitchen, bathroom, a

42 SonomaFamilyLife

couple of forks. Just watching the man grab some gloves and a spray bottle would be so hot. At this point in our marriage, sweeping me off my feet starts with sweeping the floor.

I would like to wear something white again without fear of the item getting completely filthy within five seconds. This gift of love will be a group effort brought to me by my children and our three dogs.

I would like to take an uninterrupted shower. Oh, the bliss of shampooing my hair without breaking up a fight between my kids about who launched the invisible booger first. I don’t need a romantic spa vacation anymore. I just need a better lock on the bathroom door.

I would like a nap. Right in the middle of the day, I’d like to say, “I’m outta here,” and then just fall over wherever I’m standing. I’d wake up rested, refreshed, and appreciative of the other Target shoppers who are quietly stepping over me.

I would love my husband to take over the family schedule for the day. I imagine him walking up to me, pulling me into his arms, and whispering in my ear, “The kids have a park play date at 10, then we have dentist appointments at 1, and I’m

thinking chicken fingers for dinner.” Oh baby, you had me at chicken fingers… .

7 8 9

I’d like some jewelry. Just sayin’, in case the other stuff seems too hard.

And maybe a Zappos gift certificate, you know, to go with the jewelry.

I’d like to eat a meal without someone sitting on me. Bonus love points will be given to anyone who doesn’t try to grab food off my plate. (This includes my husband.)

But most of all on Valentine’s Day, I’d like my children to wrap their sticky hands around my neck and tell me they love me. I’d like my husband to text me just to say he’s hoping I’m having a good day. I’d like our dogs to look at me like I’m magic when I pull a dog bone out of the pantry. Because those are the little things that make me feel truly loved. Those are the things that make me feel like everyday is Valentine’s Day.

And if somebody wants to give me a cutout paper heart that says, “World’s Best Mom,” I’ll take that too. Holly Hester lives in Sebastopol and writes about life on her blog, Riot Ranch. Find her book, Escape from Ugly Mom Island!, on Amazon.

February 2016 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Sonoma Family Life.com get

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February 2016

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