Sonoma Family Life July 2022

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July 2022

School Violence

How to help kids cope

July 4!

Local events

Kinder Ready Prepare now

Fly Away

8 family travel tips

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2 SonomaFamilyLife

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4th of July Fireworks Spectacular

American Acoustic:

Punch Brothers and Watchhouse Featuring Sarah Jarosz Sat, Aug 6 at 7:30 p.m.

Santa Rosa Symphony Michael Berkowitz, Conductor & Transcendence Theatre Company Mon, July 4 at 7:30 p.m.

Craft Beer Festival 5-7:30 p.m.

E.T. The Extra Terrestrial In Concert Santa Rosa Symphony

Patti LaBelle

Thurs, July 7 at 7:30 p.m.

Sat, Aug 13 at 7:30 p.m.

™ & © Universal Studios

Fitz and the Tantrums and Andy Grammer

Free Community Concert Presented by the Green Music Center and Santa Rosa Symphony featuring Villalobos Brothers and Santa Rosa Symphony

Fri, Aug 26 at 7:30 p.m.

Francesco Lecce-Chong, conductor

Sun, July 24 at 7 p.m.

Los Tigres del Norte La Reunión Tour

Indigo Girls

Thurs, Sept 8 at 7:30 p.m.

Sat, July 30 at 7:30 p.m.

Movies at the Green

with additional support from Sonoma State University Involvement Lawn tickets only $5 per person | 12 and under free

Encanto

Sat, July 9 at 5 p.m.

Sing and Sing 2

Sat, July 23 at 5 p.m. | 7 p.m.

The Mighty Ducks Sat, Aug 27 at 5 p.m.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings Spider-Man: No Way Home Sat, Sept 10 at 5 p.m. | 7 p.m.

O N L I N E g m c . s o n o m a .e d u | P H O N E 707.6 6 4 .4 24 6 I N P E R S O N 1 8 01 Ea st C o t a t i Ave n u e Ro h n e r t Pa r k , CA 9492 8

July 2022

Every Issue 6

12

Dear Reader

7

Cooking with Kids Terrific Tomatoes

8

Bits and Pieces Choo-Choo!

Dance to Brazilian Grooves

Features 10 Stop Violence in Classrooms Superintendent asks for national response.

12 Scared of School How to talk to your child about the unspeakable.

14 Fly Away Together Take the stress out of air travel.

16 Just One More Game, Mom! How to tell when gaming turns into an addiction.

How to prepare little ones for kindergarten.

Films Under the Stars

22 Raising an Entrepreneur

A Festival Just for Kids

Three things successful founders have in common.

24 Ditch the Reward System

Benefit for Firefighters

26 Calendar of Events 34 Humor Break From Elmo to Emo

Try a relationship-based approach to discipline.

27 Riot of Color Local places to celebrate the Fourth.

9 4 SonomaFamilyLife

A Little Sponge Named Bob

18 Big-Kid School

7 July 2022

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8

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2022

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July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 5

Dear Reader

K

ids need their parents. That may be stating the obvious, but it’s a key thing to remember when looking at kids’ problems. When it comes to learning how to regulate their Sharon Gowan Publisher/Editor emotions and behavior, Sharon@family-life.us children learn from their parents; just spending quality time with Mom or Dad can help them feel secure enough to change a negative pattern. That’s what Pam Moore discovered when she successfully navigated her daughter’s defiance. Read her “Ditch the Reward System” (page 24) to learn more.

What about kids who refuse to go to school because they are afraid of violence? They, too, need to connect with the safe haven that their parents provide. Psychotherapist Joanne Frederick, PhD, says that, when it comes to conversations about school violence, children need to know that their parents will really listen to them. Read our interview with her, “Scared of School” (page 12), to learn more about how to handle this difficult topic.

Connection helps kids feel safe; it also empowers them. When Margot Machol Bisnow was interviewing successful entrepreneurs for a book project, she found that all her subjects felt very supported by their families. To find out what other qualities they have in common, turn to “Raising an Entrepreneur” (page 22).

One way to connect with kids is to have fun with them. And our Calendar of Events (page 26) is chocked full of ways to do just that.

From free movies and live music to storytimes and nature activities, there’s bound to be something to make your clan smile. Don’t forget to check out “Riot of Color” (page 27) for Fourth fireworks, too.

May your July be full of wonderful moments of familial love and togetherness. We’re always here to celebrate your joy and support your family as it grows. Connect with us anytime at sonomafamilylife.com.

Patricia Ramos 707-205-1539 patty@family-life.us

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us

Production Manager Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

Contributing Writers America’s Test Kitchen Jessica Guerrieri Tanni Haas Steven D. Herrington Margot Machol Bisnow Pam Moore Heather Nardi

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July 2022

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Cooking with Kids

Terrific Tomatoes Make an Easy Summer Salad

By America’s Test Kitchen

T

omatoes are the star of this summery salad, so make sure to use the freshest, ripest ones you can find. The simple dressing—featuring olive oil, shallot, and just a teaspoon of lemon juice— balances the tomatoes’ tart taste, while savory Pecorino Romano and fresh oregano round out the flavors in every bite. ¶ Reprinted, with permission, from The Complete Book for Teen Chefs (America’s Test Kitchen, 2022), ATKkids.com/teen.

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Summer Tomato Salad with Pecorino Serves 4/15 minutes Before you begin: Use a vegetable peeler to gently shave thin strips from the flat side of the Pecorino Romano or Parmesan cheese—make sure to shave away from you.

Prepare Ingredients 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 small shallot, peeled and minced 1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest plus 1 teaspoon juice, zested and squeezed from 1/2 half lemon 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon pepper 1 1/2 pounds ripe tomatoes, cored and sliced 1/4 inch thick 2 tablespoons shaved Pecorino Romano or Parmesan cheese (1/2 ounce) 2 teaspoons chopped fresh oregano

July 2022

Start Cooking!

1. In small bowl, whisk oil, shallot, lemon zest and juice, salt, pepper, and pepper flakes until well combined.

2. Arrange tomato slices on large platter. Use spoon to drizzle dressing over tomato slices. Sprinkle with Pecorino and oregano. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

How to Core Tomatoes 1. Place 1 tomato on its side on cutting board. While holding tomato steady, use paring knife to gently pierce top of tomato, near core, at 45-degree angle. Insert knife 1 inch deep into tomato and use gentle sawing motion to make circular cut around core.

2. Use your fingers or small spoon to remove core. Discard core and repeat with remaining tomatoes.

SonomaFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces

Great Train Days

Choo-Choo!

W

hat is it about trains that fascinates so many? Is it their power? Their history? Their many moving parts? For whatever the reason, little kids especially are drawn to locomotives. And it is for them that the Children’s Museum of Sonoma County in Santa Rosa is holding the Great Train Days. The event, which will be held July 9–10, 10 a.m.–3 p.m., will feature the Redwood Empire Garden Railway Society’s display of model trains. Kids will get the chance to talk to train experts, build train tracks, dance to train-oriented music, listen to stories, and even ride on a miniature train. It’s free with admission ($14 or free for ages 0–11 months), though the train ride is an additional fee. For details, go to cmosc.org/train-days. ¶

Dance to Brazilian Grooves

T

here are thousands of miles between the most southern and northern points of the Americas. But the band SambaDá aims to unite the two continents with music. Led by Brazilian natives Papiba Godinho and Dandha da Hora, the band’s Afro-Cuban style blends percussion-based music of South America with reggae, and funk from North America. The band will play their high-energy beats at a free concert on July 28, 5:30–7:30 p.m., at Courthouse Square in Santa Rosa. See downtownsantarosa.org for more information. ¶

A Little Sponge Named Bob

W

ho would have ever thought that an animated sponge would gain celebrity status? But that’s been the destiny of SpongeBob SquarePants, the name of the character and the uber-successful show he stars in—one of the most popular Nickelodeon shows ever.

Now there’s even a musical that bears his name; and members of Roustabout Theater’s Apprentice Program are set to take it to the stage of the Luther Burbank Center in Santa Rosa. The SpongeBob Musical will be performed July 15–16 at 7:30 p.m. and July 17 at 3 p.m.

Tickets are $18–$28 and may be purchased at lutherburbankcenter.org. ¶ 8 SonomaFamilyLife

July 2022

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Films Under the Stars

B

ack in the time of beehive hairdos and the Twist, drive-ins were a sensation. Thanks to the Green Music Center in Rohnert Park, families can have a little taste of that by-gone era at Movies on the Green. At this summer film series, blankets and lawn chairs replace drive-ins’ automobiles, but the open-air film-viewing experience still is alive and well. Encanto will be shown on July 9 at 5 p.m. and Sing & Sing II will be shown on July 23 at 5 and 7 p.m., respectively.

Tickets are $5, or free for children ages 12 and younger, and may be obtained at gmc.sonoma.edu. Meanwhile, a free screening of The Great Outdoors will be held at the Forestville Youth Park in Forestville on July 15 at 8:50 p.m.

See tinyurl.com/2p95hbde. ¶

A Festival Just for Kids

S

o often kids have to fit into a world made for adults. But the free Kids Day Festival and Parade on July 9 is just for them. The annual Cotati event—in its 29th year—features a parade, live entertainment, music, contests, activities, and vendors—all just for wee ones. The day will begin with a free pancake breakfast, 8–10 a.m., at Church of the Oaks in Cotati. At 10 a.m. the parade will start at City Hall and will wind its way through downtown Cotati to La Plaza Park, where the festival will take place 11 a.m.–3 p.m. For more information, go to tinyurl.com/5n6bn25a. ¶

Benefit for Firefighters

N

o one in Sonoma County has to be reminded of the importance of firefighters. But perhaps we do need to be reminded that these local heroes need money to keep doing their jobs. The goal of Wine Country to the Rescue, a dinner dance charity event, is to fill the coffers of North Sonoma County firefighters. The evening will include a gourmet barbecue, wine tasting, silent and live auctions, and even professional fireworks. The event will be held on July 16, 5–10 p.m., at Trentadue Winery in Geyserville. Tickets are $75 and may be purchased at winecountrytotherescue.com. ¶

www.sonomafamilylife.com

July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 9

an age-appropriate way and ensure their students are safe: Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers, from the National Association of School Psychologists: tinyurl.com/ynh66dxn Talking with Children About Tragic Events, from the Dougy Center: tinyurl.com/3pb2zdrf

Stop Violence in Classrooms The Superintendent’s Call to Action

By Steven D. Herrington, PhD

T

Supporting Your Child in Stressful Times, flyer from Sonoma County Office of Education (English/Spanish): tinyurl.com/ r3tnnpew

We simply must do more to protect our children and the adults who teach them.

Those who work in school or other settings with children may wish to consult the following links:

he recent tragedy in Uvalde, Texas, in which 19 fourth graders and two teachers were slain in their classroom by an 18-year-old gunman, shook school communities in Sonoma County and across the United States to their core.

This senseless act of violence is the deadliest shooting at a grade school since the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut.

Responding to School Violence: Tips for Administrators, from the National Association of School Psychologists: tinyurl.com/2p8vu9va

We simply must do more to protect our children and the adults who teach them from senseless acts of violence, which have become more common in the United States than anywhere else in the world. May’s violence in Uvalde followed racist mass shootings in Buffalo, New York, and Laguna Beach.

Please know that our school districts and our partners in law enforcement are constantly evaluating the measures in place to keep students and staff safe.

But vigilance and commitment at the local level is no substitute for strong federal action and

10 SonomaFamilyLife

In the aftermath of such a tragedy, children will inevitably have fears and questions that they look to adults to address. Parents, teachers, and school administrators may find these resources helpful as they seek to discuss these incidents in July 2022

Help for the Helpers: Caring for Yourself When Assisting Others, from the Institute for Disaster Mental Health: tinyurl. com/5n7mexb5

www.sonomafamilylife.com

changes in our nation’s laws that will ensure tragedies like those in Uvalde, Newtown, Parkland, and Columbine, among many others, stop happening.

My office strongly recommends the above resources and is committed to doing everything we can to protect students. But the gun violence afflicting our schools and other public spaces requires more than reassuring words and local action.

The mass shooting in Uvalde was one of 27 shootings to take place on a school campus this year, according to Education Week. It is one of 119 to have happened since the publication began tracking on-campus shootings in 2018.

We owe it to our students and teachers to provide a safe and secure environment for learning without turning our schools into fortresses.

When parents or guardians send their children to our campuses, they should know they will return safely home at the end of the day. Americans should

I urge you to contact your members of Congress and the California Legislature. be able to go to school, work, to the grocery store, the movies, worship, or to other public spaces in much the same way most of the rest of the world does: without having to fear for their safety.

If you wish to advocate at the national or state level for efforts to end these tragedies, I urge you to contact your members of Congress and the California Legislature, as well as President Joe Biden and Governor Gavin Newsom.

How many more lives must be lost before we as a nation take action to address these senseless acts of gun violence?

My heart goes out to the families and school employees whose lives have been upended by these latest chapters in our long national story of gun violence. ¶ Steven D. Herrington, PhD, is the Sonoma County Superintendent of Schools.

Expires: 08/01/22 • Code: Family Life Magazine

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July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 11

Scared How ofto Talk to Kids School about Violence

F

amily Life talks to psychotherapist Joanne Frederick, PhD, about how to broach the topic of school violence with kids.

Frederick has more than 25 years of experience in the field of counseling psychology and is the author of the book Copeology.

Family Life: How should parents talk to children about violence in schools? How do they help kids feel safe?

Joanne Frederick: So the first thing is to ask kids if they are aware of the violence that is going on in schools. Have them talk about it from their perspective. There is violence that is in the news, like mass shootings, but kids also see and experience bullying. They see and experience racism, unfairness.

They see and experience low self-esteem, low confidence. We 12 SonomaFamilyLife

Sometimes children want a day off because they are afraid. That’s okay. should just listen to kids, without interrupting them or making them feel better. We should just hear what their concerns are.

The second thing is safety. How do they stay safe? We do have to ask our kids: “If someone walks into school with a gun or knife or [other weapon], what do you do?” Number July 2022

one, [tell them] to try to follow the instructions of the adults in the room. If they have to run, and they are able to, they should do that; if they cannot run, hide. If they can’t run or hide, they have to play dead.

We have to have these conversations and allow them to talk about what they know. With other violence, such as fights, for example, what do we want our children to do? We want them to walk away and get help from an adult. And even before that we want our children to be able to express themselves in words before they get violent, or they witness someone being violent.

We should just listen to kids, without interrupting them.

FL: What if children are afraid to return to school?

JF: We have to walk them through their fears. [Talk about] a safety plan and an emergency plan.

Sometimes children want a day off because they are afraid or they need a break. In the times we are living in, I think that it’s okay. I call that a mental health day. And it’s okay if a parent or caregiver allows them to stay home. But have a plan. If they are staying home, what are they going to do? “No, you are not on video games all day, but you can rest; you can take a walk, go to the park. Put the phone aside and really rest your mind.”

FL: How do parents help kids who are upset by what they see in the news? www.sonomafamilylife.com

JF: Be mindful of how much news you are blasting out around them. If you have to watch the news, monitor it. Watch it early in the morning or late at night, when the kids aren’t around. Because the more kids hear the same things over and over, the more scared they get. So get your daily dose [of news], and then move on. That’s number one. Number two: If kids are hearing things on the news or through social media, talk to them about it. “Hey, did you

Be mindful of how much news you are blasting out around them. hear about ___? What do you know about it? What are your thoughts on it?” You may be surprised to see that [what they have seen or heard] hurts these kids so much that they can’t even express themselves. Or they say, “This is horrible.” Then ask them, “How can I help you?”

Some of them might say, “I don’t want to talk about it. Stop asking me,” or “I don’t know how you can help me.” I think we need to watch children’s behaviors [in terms of] what thy say and what they don’t say as they are moving on from a violent event. Sometimes they may not react immediately but they will a week or two later. We need to have an open door for them to come and talk to us. And then if it gets to a point where the parent really doesn’t know what to do, I would suggest consulting with a mental health professional.

Learn more about Dr. Joanne Frederick’s work at jflcounseling.org.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

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July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 13

like hanging out in an airport; for example, a moving walkway can be a tremendous source of fun.

Fly Away Together 8 Keys to Low-Stress Family Air Travel

By Tanni Haas

F

lying to your vacation spot can be stressful if you’re not properly prepared. Thankfully, there are many things you can do to make air travel a low-stress experience. Based on my own experiences as well as conversations with other parents, I’ve pulled together a list of some favorite stress-management tips.

Align flight times with your kids’ sleep routines. If you need to fly during the day, reserve a departure time that corresponds with your kids’ naptime. If you need to fly at night, reserve a flight that takes off within the hour of their usual bedtime; the sheer excitement of flying is likely to keep them up a little longer than usual.

14 SonomaFamilyLife

Even young kids can pull their own carry-on bags with wheels.

Schedule long layovers if you can’t get a direct flight. That’ll leave you enough time to feed the kids a proper meal, take them to the bathroom, and enjoy the trip at a leisurely pace. Kids may really July 2022

Minimize wait times. Kids often get frustrated and act up when they have to wait in line for a long time.

There are several things you can do to deal with this: 1) sign up for TSA’s pre-check program, which will qualify you for much faster security checks; 2) check in online the day before your departure; and 3) print out boarding passes at self-service kiosks in the airport.

They’ll be so much more excited about the flight when they have a goody bag to look forward to.

Have older kids pull their own luggage. Even young kids can pull their own carry-on bags with wheels—and they’ll mostly likely have fun doing it. When kids are responsible for their own luggage, they are less likely to over-pack, and you don’t have to feel so responsible for all your family’s belongings.

Pack snacks, entertainment, and headphones. Most airlines offer free snacks, movies, and headphones. Still, it’s a good idea to pack your own supplies. Chances are that your kids either won’t like the airline’s snacks or entertainment, or they may find the airline headphones to be uncomfortable.

If you’re really unlucky, they’ll complain about all of the above!

Make each kid a flight goody bag. Create care packages like the www.sonomafamilylife.com

sonoma kind you’d mail them at sleepaway camp. Put in each bag some of their favorite toys from home as well as things you can buy at most convenience stores, such as comic books, crayons, puzzles, etc. They’ll be so much more excited about the flight when they have a goody bag to look forward to.

Reserve a departure time that corresponds with your kids’ naptime.

Bring changes of clothes.

Trying to sit still in a crammed space, kids often spill food and drinks on themselves. So bring onto the plane at least one extra change of clothing for everyone (including yourself). Also bring pillows so the kids can lean against the seat, window, or your shoulder and hopefully sleep for part of the flight.

Pee, eat, and fill out paperwork before you leave the plane. Before you disembark, make the kids go to the bathroom one last time and give them something to eat. You may have to wait a long time in immigrations and customs, especially if you’re traveling abroad, and it’s no fun at all if the kids have to pee or are hungry. Fill out the required paperwork while you’re still on the plane: It’s a real hassle to do it later while you’re waiting in line. And remember to always travel with a pen—it comes in handy! ¶ Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor. www.sonomafamilylife.com

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SonomaFamilyLife 15

level with the reward of moving onto another—also stimulate dopamine release, which lays the neurobiological groundwork for addiction to develop.

What signs to look out for?

1. Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. Children that become addicted to games can often start to neglect other activities that usually make them happy, such as sports or other hobbies, and socializing with family and friends.

Just One More Game, Mom! 10 Signs of Video Game Addiction

By Heather Nardi

K

ids love video games. According to a 2018 Pew Research Center study, 90 percent of American teens play them. But along with the fun of playing comes the danger of getting addicted to them. Yes, video game addiction is very real. In 2019, the World Health Organization officially classified it as a mental health disorder. How do you know if your kid is out of control?

The team of addiction specialists at Delamere, a private British rehab clinic, offers the following advice.

What is video game addiction?

Gaming addiction refers to the uncontrollable use of video games; it is characterized by compulsive behavior and can develop after a long period of excessive gaming.

Why do gamers keep going back to play more and more games?

16 SonomaFamilyLife

The answer is neurobiological. When gamers play, their brains’ reward centers release dopamine, a chemical that makes them feel good. So to keep the dopamine hits coming, they keep playing—for endless hours. The small “wins” built into the games—winning highest score and completing one July 2022

2. Feeling irritable or upset when they can’t play games. Do your kids become angry or upset when their games are taken away from them? It could be a sign of addiction.

3. Playing games for hours on end.

Playing games extensively without a break is a more obvious sign of addiction. So is playing video games for long periods despite being told to reduce the amount of playing time.

4. Lying about how much time they spend playing games. If your children start to lie about or try to conceal how much time they spend gaming, or if they start going behind your back in order to play games, they could be developing a disorder.

5. Thinking or talking about their game constantly. There is nothing wrong with your children being engaged with or passionate about a video game. But it’s not okay when it becomes all they talk or think about.

6. Suffering academics. Extensive gaming can distract kids from their responsibilities at school, resulting in frequent homework mistakes or an overall decline in academic performance. www.sonomafamilylife.com

7. Interrupted sleep habits. If your children are gaming when they should be sleeping, they will start to show signs of sleep deprivation, including a low mood.

8. Being preoccupied, depressed, or lonely. Though gaming can be a social activity, it lacks real-world interactions. Those who are addicted may become melancholy or depressed and withdraw when you try to engage in conversation with them.

9. Continuing to game despite negative consequences. Even though your children may be aware that their gaming habits are negatively impacting their lives—e.g. sleep deprivation, loss of friends, and arguments with their parents—they keep gaming.

10. Neglecting personal hygiene.

Those who are addicted to gaming may avoid showers or not change their clothes for days so that they can spend more time at the computer or on their devices.

effective methods is setting a timer for your child to play their chosen game.

Once the timer has gone off, they have to turn off the computer and move on to a different activity—allowing them to still enjoy their game in moderation,” she says.

Do your kids become angry or upset when their games are taken away from them?

“Setting a rule that your child only plays games with friends would remove the isolation aspect of gaming addiction,” she continues. “Suggesting a gaming party, rather than a long solo session, would allow your child to improve their teamwork and communication skills—offering a healthier environment for your little one to indulge in their hobby.” ¶

How can you prevent gaming addiction?

Dr. Catherine Carney, a psychiatrist a Delamere, says there are a variety of ways to treat and prevent childhood gaming addiction. “One of the most

after-school care

For more information on video game addiction, go to delamere.com/blog/ gaming-addiction-report-2022.

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July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 17

Assign chores. A way to make your kids more independent and autonomous is to assign them household chores. Charity Ferreira of GreatSchools, an education think tank, says that parents should give kids chores such as setting the table, folding the laundry, and tidying up.

“These types of activities,” she says, “will automatically transfer over into the classroom and help your child feel successful and comfortable.”

Big-Kid School How to Prepare Children for Kindergarten

By Tanni Haas

T

here are few moments more exciting to kids than the first day of kindergarten. It represents the day when they officially become “big kids.” How do you prepare them?

Here’s what the experts say.

Teach independence. Kids are expected to be able to do many things on their own by the time they start kindergarten. Tracy Galuski, a professor of early childhood development and education, says that kids should be able to: dress themselves, including putting on shoes and putting on and taking off their coats; use the bathroom and wash their hands afterwards; unpack their lunches; and wipe their faces after they’ve eaten. These skills, Galuski says, will take your kids “from the coatroom to the 18 SonomaFamilyLife

lunchroom and beyond.” Spend the summer before kindergarten practicing them with your kids.

Promote autonomy. Merete Kropp, an experienced kindergarten teacher and child development expert, says that kids should be able to make many choices. This includes choosing among different activities in the classroom and with whom to play.

“Children who’ve been given autonomy at home in developing preferences and making meaningful choices,” Kropp says, “are able to transfer this skill to the school setting.”

July 2022

Talking to kids about what the school day will be like will help them feel more self-confident.

Build self-confidence. It’s one thing to have certain skills; it’s quite another to have the confidence to show those skills in front of classmates. Amie Bettencourt, PhD, a child psychologist, says that parents talking to kids about what the school day will be like will help them feel more self-confident.

Organize playdates. Many schools distribute class contact lists for students before the school year starts. If you receive such a list, set up playdates with some of your kids’ future classmates. That way, when your kids walk into class, they’ll see some familiar faces. “A lot of what makes kindergarten a tough transition,” Ferreira says, “is that kids suddenly find themselves in a big group all day long. The more social skills kids have, the easier it’ll be for them to concentrate on learning.”

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Create routine. Ferreira says, “following a consistent routine—and pointing out parts of the routine to your child—helps your child know what to expect and when. This will help your child transition to the school routine.” She suggests that parents create a fixed schedule for waking and sleeping. Bettencourt adds that the nightly routine should include a predictable order of activities: “take a bath, put on pajamas, brush teeth, read a favorite story or sing a favorite song, and get a goodnight hug or kiss.”

Read books. Listening to their teacher read aloud is often how kindergarten kids learn. So making reading an important part of your kids’ lives will prepare them for

school. “Get your child a library card, take her to the library to check out books, and be sure to read to your child every day,” Galuski says. Melissa Taylor, an education expert and author of Imagination

Give kids chores such as setting the table, folding the laundry, and tidying up.

Soup, a well-known blog, agrees: “Reading to your child teaches her many things that we adults take for granted. Kids learn basics, such as how to hold a book, left-to-right reading, wondering what will happen next, and discovering new

JOIN OUR BIG KIDS SUMMER CLUB!

words.” So read to your kids every day; choose a variety of material and ask them frequent questions, just like the teacher would.

Acknowledge feelings. While you prepare your kids for all the exciting new things they’ll learn in kindergarten, also acknowledge any unease they may experience.

Melanie Dale, the author of several books on parenting, says that parents should let their kids express their feelings: “If they say they’re nervous, rather than say, ‘Don’t be nervous,’ ask them why they’re nervous and validate that feeling.

Share a time when you were nervous and how it worked out.” ¶ Tanni Haas, PhD, is a college communications professor.

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SonomaFamilyLife 19

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They went into very diverse fields.

They started big companies with a wide range of products and services; they started innovative non-profits and profits-for-purpose that are changing the world; they became artists like movie directors and songwriters; and they became activists, fighting for causes they believe in. They fit my definition of an entrepreneur: They are all people who started something.

Raising an Entrepreneur 3 Ways to Help Kids Believe in Themselves

By Margot Machol Bisnow

E

ntrepreneurs are often asked, “What’s your secret to success?” Answers range from risk-taking and a self-starter mindset to curiosity and imagination. But where did these traits come from, and what conditions enabled the entrepreneurs to develop them?

This is the question I set out to answer in writing my book Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams—99 Stories From Families Who Did. I interviewed a very diverse group of 70 successful entrepreneurs, including Jon Chu, director of Crazy Rich Asians; Paige Mycoskie, founder and owner of clothing company Aviator Nation; Thomas Vu, lead producer on the game League of Legends; Dhani Jones, former NFL linebacker who went on to host a TV show, co-found a creative 22 SonomaFamilyLife

agency, and chair an investment fund; and superstar chef and sustainability advocate Nyesha Arrington.

The group was made up of half men, half women; every race, religion, and socioeconomic background was represented. They came from big families and small families; big cities and small towns; and they had parents who hadn’t gone to college to parents with advanced degrees. Some were born in the United States while others were born overseas or had immigrant parents.

July 2022

While I made dozens of eye-opening and heart-warming discoveries about their lives and backgrounds, I also learned—to my surprise—that they all shared three underlying experiences shaped by their families from the time they were children.

They pursued and mastered a passion when young. As children, they found a passion and were encouraged by their parents to pursue it—regardless of what it was. The key word in that sentence is “they”—it wasn’t something their parents loved, or their parents thought their kids would love. It’s something the kids chose themselves. And because they loved it, they worked really hard at it. And because they worked really hard, they got really good. They were praised for their effort, not their results. So they worked really hard and they learned the trade-off between hard work and results. They developed grit, defined

by Angela Duckworth as “passion plus perseverance toward long-term goals.” And that led to them becoming supremely confident.

People often say, “Of course entrepreneurs are confident; it’s because they are successful.” But I strongly believe it is the reverse: They are successful because they are confident. And their confidence stems from having mastered their chosen www.sonomafamilylife.com

passions when they were young. Their passions included computers, music, acting, student government, chess, and, for many, sports. Their intense pursuit of success in these activities taught them grit, determination, and resilience, which developed their confidence.

They became risk takers because they were not punished for failure or mistakes. As Billie Jean King says, “We don’t call it failure; we call it feedback.” The entrepreneurs I interviewed were never punished for failing; their parents said, “What did you learn? What would you do differently?” Nor were they punished for making mistakes. They had to fix what they had broken or the problem they created, but they weren’t made to feel bad that it had happened.

They learned that when they worked hard at something and failed, and kept trying new approaches, eventually they would succeed. They learned that when they failed, they could work harder and smarter and keep trying because eventually they would figure it out.

They were praised for their effort, not their results.

Fast forward to today: because they aren’t afraid to fail, they aren’t afraid to take risks—both of which are key to successful entrepreneurship.

They were trusted and supported by their families—leading them to treat their employees like family.

The unconditional support from their families while they were growing up is reflected in their businesses today.

They honor the differences among their employees. And whether the jobs are remote or in the office, they try to create situations where their employees want to spend time. The founders don’t arbitrarily order around their employees. Just as in the homes where they grew up, the entrepreneurs take care of the people they work with.

Even before stakeholder capitalism became popular, these entrepreneurs valued the interests of their employees and their community.

Margot Machol Bisnow is a writer, wife, and mom who speaks on raising fearless, creative, entrepreneurial kids who are filled with joy and purpose. She is the author of Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams—99 Stories From Families Who Did (BookBaby, 2022).

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July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 23

Still, I had questions. Why had the sticker charts not worked? And why, even as I grew less vigilant about rewarding “marble-worthy” behavior did the power struggles continue to decrease both in frequency and intensity? There had to be more to the equation than simply positive reinforcement. I talked to Sarah MacLaughlin, parent educator and author of What Not to Say: Tools for Talking with Young Children (Bay Island Books, 2010), to fill in the gap.

She cautions parents to use positive

Ditch the Reward System Try This Science-Backed Discipline Approach

By Pam Moore

“M

om, can I have the vacuum?” asked my five-year-old daughter.

“Why, sweetheart?”

Normally you cannot see my daughter’s floor through the forest of books, dolls, and clothes. She grinned while imploring me, “Come see.” She marched down the hall and into her room, leading me by the hand. When we got to her doorway I laughed in surprise. The floor was completely clear.

Earlier that day, I’d begged the preschool teacher to help me find a way to quell the power struggles that had been erupting between my 24 SonomaFamilyLife

Assume that they aren’t cooperating because they need help. daughter and me. No sticker chart or time out could tame her steadfast refusal to do what I asked.

Her teacher suggested a marble jar.

Here’s how it works: I put a marble in a jar every time I “catch” my daughter being good. When the jar is full, she earns a treat. The teacher said to follow a rule of never removing marbles as a consequence for bad behavior. My daughter’s response to the marble jar was a classic example of positive reinforcement at work.

July 2022

MacLaughlin urges parents to remember that kids are doing the best they can. reinforcement only “as training wheels,” and even then, only if they’ve already tried approaches emphasizing the parent-child relationship.

If your child is having a fit, MacLaughlin says it is futile to attempt to give consequences or feedback. That does not mean you should ignore bad behavior, however.

If, for example, your child becomes physically aggressive, MacLaughlin recommends you first help her calm down. Only when kids are calm do they have the capacity to listen and learn. At that point, she says: “You can validate a child who is heated by saying, ‘You tried to kick me because I said NO to dessert. I www.sonomafamilylife.com

understand you’re upset, and I won’t let you hurt me.’ Then listen more, say less, and offer no ‘consequences’ or feedback until they are calm. Once you gauge you’re past the point of those big emotions, you can offer feedback and education. For example, ‘I know you know that hitting is not okay. As you grow and mature you’ll learn how to stay in charge of yourself and not hit when you’re upset.” I call this combo a Truth Bomb Pep Talk—information, a reminder, and encouragement all rolled into one.

them on an emotional level, in which case she recommends the approach she describes above, known as “Staylistening.” Or it could be that using humor—making your request in a funny voice or with an accent—will get them on board. If that doesn’t

If your child is simply refusing to do what you’re requesting, MacLaughlin urges parents to remember that kids are doing the best they can and to assume that they aren’t cooperating because they need help. She says there could be something bothering

work, before you lose your cool, MacLaughlin suggests setting a limit by calmly, kindly physically guiding the child to the chore or task. She says parents are often surprised at how well this works.

If your child is having a fit, it is futile to attempt to give consequences or feedback.

Whenever my daughter’s marble jar was full, she chose a treat. We would either hit the bagel shop or the used bookstore, but no matter what, her little sister was staying home. I’ve learned that her love languages are carbs, books, and quality time. More importantly, I learned that positive reinforcement was just the “training wheels” she needed to start rolling in the right direction. I’m convinced that it was the “reward” of spending rare quality time together that helped the most. ¶ This article was originally published on Motherly.

Pam Moore is an award-winning freelance writer, weight-neutral health coach, and host of the Real Fit podcast.

Get her free guide to improving your body image at pam-moore.com.

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SonomaFamilyLife 25

July

Calendar of Events

Friday 1 FREE Young Astronomers/Striking Sparks. Robert Ferguson Observatory virtual meeting for kids in grades 4–9 who are interested in all things space & want to meet like-minded friends.

7–8 p.m. RSVP for ZOOM link: ncummings@rfo.org.

FREE Screening of Independence Day. 1996 film starring Will Smith.

Gates: 7:30 p.m. Movie: 8:50 p.m.

Healdsburg Community Center. 1557 Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. tinyurl. com/2p87cvc8.

Saturday 2 Lavender Daze. Tour flower fields, walk the labyrinth. Live music (noon–3 p.m.). $20. Kids 12 & younger free with adult. July 2–3 & July 9–10. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Bees & Blooms. 3883 Petaluma Hill Rd., Santa Rosa. Reservations: bees-n-blooms.square.site.

Ask a Farmer. Join Farmer Emily & Gardening Grammy for a multigenerational learning experience.

Learn about gardening practices & participate in maintaining an edible garden. Free with museum admission ($11–$14, babies 0–11 mos. free). 10 a.m.–noon. Children’s Museum of Sonoma County. 1835 W. Steele Ln., Santa Rosa. tinyurl.com/2p8n3yct.

FREE All American Car Show. All

classic American cars, DJ, food/ refreshment. Supports Sonoma County veterans. Event: free. Parking: $5. 6:30 a.m.–3 p.m. Santa Rosa 26 SonomaFamilyLife

Veterans Memorial Building. 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. tinyurl. com/55cee8e4.

Sunday 3 FREE Independence Day Fireworks Display. No vehicles allowed in park; parking at Windsor High School & street. 9:30 p.m. Kesier Park. 700 Windsor River Rd., Windsor. tinyurl. com/4x4mfbp5.

Monday 4 Fourth of July Fireworks Spectacular. Featuring

Transcendence Theatre Company & Santa Rosa Symphony. Indoor & lawn seating. Kids’ Zone (4:30 p.m.) with face painting, carnival games, bouncy houses, music & food. $30–$60.

Concert: 7:30 p.m. Fireworks display follows the show. Sonoma State University. Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. tinyurl. com/vdh7xx48.

FREE Rohnert Park Jubilee. Live music featuring Wonder Bread 5. DJ, traditional family games (tug-of-war, sack races, etc.), corn hole tournament, kids’ sing-a-long & middle school dance. Noon–4 p.m. Rohnert Park Community Center. 5401 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. tinyurl.com/yx947fhe.

FREE Old-Fashioned Fourth of July Parade & Celebration. Travel & Leisure & Yahoo News have ranked it as the eighth best Fourth of July celebration in the US. Carnival with games & food & drink on the plaza. Sonoma Plaza. 10 a.m.–5

July 2022

p.m. Parade starts at 10 a.m. Live music: 12:30–4 p.m. Fireworks at dusk. sonomavolunteerfirefighters.org/ fourth-of-july.

Tuesday 5 FREE Santa Rosa Taco Tuesday Rides. All cyclists welcome to roll

through downtown Santa Rosa. Taco trucks will be on hand to sell tacos & drinks. Humboldt Park. 1172 Humboldt St., Santa Rosa. Tuesdays.

Meet up: 5:45 p.m. Pedals up: 6:15 p.m. tinyurl.com/44r6r2n3.

FREE Virtual Pride Club for Teens.

Ages 13–18. Discuss books & other media that showcase queer voices & experiences. Sponsored by Sonoma County Library. Tuesdays. 5–6 p.m.

Register for Zoom link: tinyurl. com/3n89bcyr.

FREE Cascada de Flores. Grades

K–6. Bilingual program. Traditional music, storytelling & dance presented

by Arwen & Jorge. Programa bilingüe.

Música, cuentacuentos y danza presentado por Arwen & Jorge. 2–3 p.m.

Central Santa Rosa Library. 211 E St., Santa Rosa. Other library branches will host this event. See sonomalibrary. org/events.

FREE Tuesdays in the Plaza. Live music. July 5: The Coffis Brothers (folk rock). July 12: Marshall House Project (electric soul/funk). July 19: Los Pinguos (Latin). July 26: Sol Horizon (reggae). 6–8 p.m. Healdsburg Plaza.

Healdsburg Ave. & Matheson St., Healdsburg. ci.healdsburg.ca.us/335/ Tuesdays-in-the-Plaza.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Family Fun

Riot of Color

Fireworks & July 4th Events July 3

Sebastopol: Fireworks and Music Extravaganza at Analy High School football field. Live music and dancing starts at 6:15 p.m.

Fireworks at 9:40 p.m. $15. Ages 6–11: $5. Ages 5 and younger: free. No camping chairs, only beach chairs. No alcohol allowed. sebastopolkiwanisclub.org.

Windsor: Independence Day Fireworks Display. No vehicles allowed in park; parking at Windsor High School and on street. 9:30 p.m. Free.

Keiser Park. tinyurl.com/4x4mfbp5.

July 4 Healdsburg: Fireworks. 9–11 p.m. Free. Healdsburg High School. tinyurl.com/2p98yemj.

Healdsburg: Fourth of July Kids’ Parade and Duck Dash.

10 a.m.–1 p.m. Parade: 11 a.m. Live music by Russian River Ramblers and Court ‘n Disaster. Decorated bike contest.

Duck dash. Free. Healdsburg Plaza. rotaryclubofhealdsburg sunrise.org.

Kenwood: Fourth of July Celebration. Pancake breakfast at Kenwood Community Church, 7–11:30 a.m. The following events will be at Kenwood Plaza Park: Kenwood Footrace 3K and 10K at 7:30 a.m. (Registration: $40–$75.) Parade at www.sonomafamilylife.com

10:30 a.m. Rotary Club BBQ and Family Fun, 10:30 a.m.–3 p.m. kenwoodparade.com.

Kenwood: Fourth of July Fireworks Hike at Sugarloaf Ridge State Park. Take a strenuous 6.5-mile trek up the tallest mountain in Sonoma Valley and view up to 18 Bay Area fireworks displays. 6:45–11 p.m. $60. Ages 12–17: $20. Not recommended for kids younger than 12. Space limited. Reservations required. tinyurl.com/4dajdf6y.

Rohnert Park: Fourth of July Fireworks Spectacular.

Featuring the Transcendence Theatre Company and the Santa Rosa Symphony. Indoor and lawn seating. Kids’ Zone with face painting, carnival games, bouncy houses, music, and food at 4:30 p.m. Concert at 7:30 p.m. Fireworks display follows the show. $30–$60. Green Music Center. tinyurl.com/vdh7xx48.

Sonoma: Old-Fashioned Fourth of July Parade and Celebration. Ranked eight best Fourth of July celebration by Travel & Leisure and Yahoo News. Parade at 10 a.m. Carnival with games, food, and drink on the plaza 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Fireworks at dusk. Free. Sonoma Plaza. sonomavolunteer firefighters.org/fourth-of-july.

July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 27

Wednesday 6 FREE Lawyers in the Library. Free legal assistance. First come, first served. Consultations 20 minutes max. Held the first Wednesday of each month. Sign up: 4:30 p.m.

Consultations: 5–7 p.m. Sonoma County Public Law Library. 2604 Ventura Ave., Santa Rosa. tinyurl. com/3jdm5bzy.

FREE Paint Party! | ¡Fiesta de pintura! Ages 7 & up. All welcome.

Follow along & create a painting at this interactive class. Lessons will be bilingual (English & Spanish) with local artist Tara Hackett. First come, first served basis, while supplies last.

Fiesta de pintura Sigue y crea una obra maestra única en nuestras fiestas interactivas de pintura con Beautiful

Things Art Studio y la artista local Tara Hackett. Register/la inscripción: tinyurl.com/53m4vf82. 6–7:30 p.m.

Rincon Valley Regional Library. 6959 Montecito Blvd., Santa Rosa. Other libraries will host this event in July.

See sonomalibrary.org/events.

FREE Andy’s Unity Clean-Up. Tools,

gloves & other supplies are provided.

Bring snacks & water. 8–10 a.m. 3399 Moorland Ave., Santa Rosa. Register: tinyurl.com/3e2hxtaj.

Thursday 7 FREE Family Storytime in the Children’s Garden. For ages 3

mos.–12 yrs. Tuesdays: 10:30–11 a.m. Central Santa Rosa Library.

211 E St., Santa Rosa. Thursdays: 10:15–10:45 a.m. Petaluma Library.

100 Fairgrounds Dr., Petaluma. Other

libraries will host this event in July.

See sonomalibrary.org/events.

FREE Movies on the Courthouse Square. July 7: Encanto. July 14:

Luca. Bring chairs & blankets. 6 p.m.

Old Courthouse Square. Santa Rosa. downtownsantarosa.org/events.

Patti Labelle. Performing R&B,

pop standards & spiritual sonnets. $30–$105. 7:30 p.m. Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. gmc.sonoma.edu/patti-labelle.

FREE Neurodiverse Storytime.

Neurodiverse & neurotypical kids are welcome. Sing, read, play music & play with parachute or scarves. Sponsored by the Sonoma County Library.

Thursdays. 10:30–11 a.m. Ives Park.

7400 Willow St., Sebastopol. Register: tinyurl.com/2p9bzpkj.

Movie Nights @ 6pm August 4 July 7

Encanto

July 14 Luca

The Goonies (6pm)

Ghostbusters (8pm)

September 1 Back to the future

Family Fridays! 4-7PM

Activities, Games, Entertainment & Special Performances

June 24

Sonoma County pomo dancers

July 15

July 29

Ballet Sonoma Folklorico County pride QuetzalÉn family affair

28 SonomaFamilyLife

Details & more events @

downtownsantarosa.org

July 2022

www.sonomafamilylife.com

FREE Summer Nights on the Green Concerts. Live music, food vendors,

farm fresh produce & family fun. July 14: David Luning Band (Americana rock). July 21: The Bell Brothers (modern country). July 28: MAYA (Latin roots). Farmers’ market: 5–8 p.m. Live music: 6–8 p.m. Thursdays thru Sept. 8. Windsor Town Green.

9291 Old Redwood Hwy., Windsor. tinyurl.com/4hsw475n.

Friday 8 FREE Friday Night Live at the Plaza.

Rock concert, vendor booths & variety of family-friendly activities. July 8: John Papa Gros (New Orleans piano).

July 15: Ron Artis II & the Truth (soul, R&B). July 22: New Orleans Suspects (swamp rock). July 29: Mike & the Moonpies (country). Street fair: 6 p.m.

Live music: 6:30–9:30 p.m. Cloverdale Plaza. 122 N. Cloverdale Blvd., Cloverdale. cloverdaleartsalliance.org.

11 a.m.–3 p.m. La Plaza Park. Cotati. tinyurl.com/5n6bn25a.

FREE Party on the Plaza & Farmers’

created by the Redwood Empire Garden Railway Society. Build train tracks, listen to train music & stories.

Take a ride on a mini train. Free with admission ($14, free for babies 0–11 months). Additional fees for concessions & Ride-On-Train. July 9 & 10. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Children’s Museum of Sonoma County. 1835 W. Steele Ln., Santa Rosa. cmosc.org/ train-days.

The Great Train Days. Model trains

Market. July 8: Choppin’ Broccoli & Aqua Nett (’80s music). July 15: Kid Galaga & Rock & Roll Rhythm Review. July 22: Sonoma Sharks & the Blue Mothers. July 29: Pacific Islander Night. Taimalietane Dance Group & Live Hawaiian Music plus Faith Ako. Fridays. First acts: 6–7 p.m. (except Pacific Islander Night, which starts at 5:15 p.m.) Second acts: 7:30–9 p.m.

City Center Plaza. 500 City Center Dr., Rohnert Park. tinyurl.com/4sa8jdbj.

Saturday 9 FREE Kids Day Festival & Parade.

Parade: 10 a.m. Starts at City Hall & goes to downtown Cotati. Festival:

Guest Cartoonist: Jess Smart Smiley. Talk by best-selling author

of Let’s Make Comics & other graphic novels. Free with museum admission ($5–$12 or free for ages 3 & younger).

1–3 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum.

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July 2022

SonomaFamilyLife 29

2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

Science Saturdays: Amazing Mazes.

Design marble maze with everyday household items. $10–$12. Parking: $7. Two sessions: 11 a.m.–noon or 1–2 p.m. Environmental Discovery Center.

393 Violetti Rd., Santa Rosa. Register: tinyurl.com/ryc9t7xc.

Movies on the Green. July 9: Encanto

(5 p.m.) July 23: Sing (5 p.m.) & Sing II (7 p.m.) Bring chairs & blankets. Food & beverages for purchase. $5. SSU students & ages 12 & younger: free.

Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. gmc.sonoma.edu/ category/events/july.

FREE Petaluma Elks Classic Car Show. Antique cars & live music.

Barbecue ($15). Free admission. 10

a.m.–3 p.m. Petaluma Elks Lodge No. 901. 2105 South McDowell Blvd., Petaluma. BBQ tickets: elks901.square. site/car-show.

Noche de Amor (Night of Love). Live music, food, drinks & more. Proceeds benefit the Healthcare Foundation Northern Sonoma. $300. 6–10 p.m.

Bacchus Landing. 14210 Bacchus Landing Way, Healdsburg. Tickets: hfnsc.ejoinme.org/noche22-tickets.

Windsor Taco Fest & Lowrider Car Show. 4–9 p.m. Windsor Town Green.

701 McLelland Dr., Windsor. tinyurl. com/4dhfb4cd.

accompanied by an 8-piece band. July 24: Mercy & the Heartbeats. 3–6 p.m.

Table reservations required: $25–$125.

Benefits local nonprofit partners.

Montgomery Village. 911 Village Ct., Santa Rosa. Reservations: tinyurl. com/2p9h5eab.

FREE Family Fun Hikes: Riverfront Regional Park. All ages & abilities welcome. Parking: $7 or free with a Regional Parks membership. 10 a.m.– noon. 7821 Eastside Rd., Healdsburg.

Registration required: tinyurl.com/ yv5hdwhd.

FREE Petaluma Art & Garden Festival. Unusual handmade items:

Sunday 10 Lavay Smith & Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers. Lavay Smith is an American

singer specializing in swing & blues,

fine art, home & garden décor, jewelry, plants. Local beer, wine & kombucha tasting packages: $35–$40. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. 4th, Kentucky & B Streets in

Mendocino College Theatre Arts and Lake County Theatre Company Present

William Shakespeare’s

July 30-31 Library Park Lakeport August 3-7 Austin park clearlake ALL SHOWS 7pm FREE ADMISSION

More info: LCTC.US or 707.278.9628 PRESENTED in cooperation with Lake COUNTY Friends of Mendocino College, City of Lakeport, Clear Lake Chamber of Commerce and City of Clear Lake.

30 SonomaFamilyLife

July 2022

www.sonomafamilylife.com

downtown Petaluma. tinyurl.com/ yr4zhepn.

Monday 11

Town Green. 701 McClelland Dr., Windsor. townofwindsor.com.

Wednesday 13

FREE Yoga for Kids. Ages 6–12.

Caregiver Common Ground

Learn yoga poses & play games with instructor Ozlem Ozdener. 11:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Roseland Regional Library. 470 Sebastopol Rd., Santa Rosa. Other libraries will host this event in July. See sonomalibrary.org/ events.

Weekday Coffee Date. For parents & caretakers of disabled or special needs children. Held second Wednesday of each month. Cup of coffee, light snacks & conversation. 9 a.m.–noon.

Trailhouse Coffee. 4036 Montgomery Dr., Santa Rosa. Register: tinyurl. com/3hsvxv9k.

Tuesday 12 FREE Family Movies on the Green.

July 12: Moana. July 19: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. July 26: Hook. Bring blanket or low-back chair. No blankets on lawn before 4:30 p.m. Movie begins 15 minutes after sunset. Windsor

Thursday 14 Flynn Creek Circus: Balloons, Birds & Flying Things. A rurally based, award-winning circus bringing international talent to the North Bay. Tickets sold by table or bench, regardless of age of attendees.

$35–$416. July 14 & 15: 7 p.m. July 16: 4 & *7 p.m. (*adults 21+ only). July 17: 1 & 4 p.m. Rohnert Park Community Center. 5401 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. flynncreekcircus.com.

Friday 15 FREE Family Friday. July 15: Ballet Folklorico Quetzalen. July 29: Sonoma County Pride Family Affair. 4–7 p.m. Courthouse Square. Santa Rosa. downtownsantarosa.org/summer.

FREE Movies in Lucchesi Park: Little Rascals. Bring chairs & blankets. Food & drinks available for purchase. 7–9 p.m. Lucchesi Community Center. 320 N. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma. cityofpetaluma.org.

FREE Forestville Movies in the Park.

The Great Outdoors. Concession stand.

thrilling & sophisticated children’s camps at select locations

‘...the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.’- Einstein Touring June to October under the BigTop www.sonomafamilylife.com

July 2022

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Bring low-back chairs & blankets. No pets. 8 p.m. (movie starts at 8:50 p.m.)

Forestville Youth Park. 6935 Mirabel Rd., Forestville. tinyurl.com/2p95hbde.

SpongeBob Musical. Performed by

members of Roustabout Theater’s Apprentice Program. $18–$28. July 15 & 16: 7:30 p.m. July 17: 3 p.m. Luther Burbank Center for the Arts. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. tinyurl. com/yc6w25sw.

Saturday 16 Annual Care Show. People’s Choice Awards, food, music & fun to raise money for back-to-school supplies for local kids. $35. 10 a.m.–3 p.m.

Casa Grande High School. 333 Casa Grande Rd., Petaluma. Tickets: tinyurl. com/4h28ykj3.

Wine Country to the Rescue. Dinner

dance benefits Northern Sonoma County Firefighters. Live dance music, gourmet BBQ, wine tasting, silent & live auctions & professional fireworks. $75. 5–10 p.m. Trentadue Winery.

19170 Geyserville Ave., Geyserville. winecountrytotherescue.com.

Sunday 17

Ranch Rd., Glen Ellen. tinyurl. com/4v5mmxdj.

Family Fitness Expo. Sample exercise classes, including yoga, dance & circuit training. Massage, bouncy house, circus activities & face painting. $25. Ages 13 & younger: free. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. SOMO Village.

1400 Valley House Dr., Rohnert Park.

Tickets: tinyurl.com/4s8hzst7.

Thursday 21 FREE Summer on the Courthouse Square Music Series. July 21: SambaDá. July 28: Black Sheep Brass Band. 5:30–7:30 p.m.

Courthouse Square. Santa Rosa. downtownsantarosa.org/events.

FREE Night at the Museum. See

current exhibitions, step inside a re-creation of Charles Schulz’s art studio, take a seat at Lucy’s Psychiatric Booth, watch animated specials in the theater & draw cartoons. 5–7:30 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum.

2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org/free-night.

Saturday 23 Common Ground Society Dads &

FREE Petaluma Ciclovía. Walk,

Kids Meetup. Dads of disabled or

bicycle, skateboard, scoot, or roller skate on Petaluma Boulevard without cars. Activities & performances from local nonprofits & community organizations. 10 a.m.–2 p.m.

Petaluma Blvd. in downtown Petaluma. tinyurl.com/29me5z6z.

special needs children can spend the day fishing with their kids. 9:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Location TBA. Contact: commongroundsociety.org/ join-our-community.

Walk’n Wag. Treats & water provided.

Dog must be dog- & people-friendly.

Limited to the first 15 dog signups. $5 per dog (maximum 2). Parking: $10. 9:30–11:30 a.m. Jack London State Historic Park. 2400 London 32 SonomaFamilyLife

Robert Ferguson Observatory Public Star Party. $5–$10; ages 12 & younger, free. Parking: $10. ID & proof of COVID vaccination or negative test required within 48 hrs.

9 p.m.–midnight. Robert Ferguson Observatory. 2605 Adobe Canyon Rd., Kenwood. rfo.org/index.php/calendar.

July 2022

Rivertown Revival. Music festival featuring Sean Hayes, Royal Jelly Jive & the King Street Giants. $5–$55. July 23: 11 a.m.–8 p.m. July 24: noon–7 p.m.

Steamer Landing Park. Copeland St., Petaluma. rivertownrevival.com.

Sunday 24 Solutions Sunday: Design Tomorrow. Ages 7–10. Learn about

how communities are working to implement climate change solutions, then work to design new solutions.

Adults can head out into Spring Lake Park to enjoy kid-free time. $10–$12.

Parking: $7 or free with a Regional Parks membership. Two sessions: 11 a.m.–noon or 1–2 p.m. Environmental Discovery Center. 393 Violetti Rd., Santa Rosa. Registration required: tinyurl.com/4rkk6pyk.

FREE Villalobos Brothers & Santa Rosa Symphony. Bring chairs &

blankets. Food & beverages for purchase. 7 p.m. Green Music Center Lawn. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. Tickets required: tinyurl.com/ msmadjmf.

Thursday 28 Flynn Creek Circus: Balloons, Birds & Flying Things. Tickets are sold by

table or bench, regardless of age of attendees. $35–$416. July 28: 7 p.m.

July 29: 5:30 & 8 p.m. July 30: 5:30 & *8 p.m. (*adults 21+ only). July 31: 1 & 4 p.m. Sonoma-Marin Fairgrounds.

175 Fairgrounds Dr., Petaluma. flynncreekcircus.com.

111th Monte Rio Variety Show.

An evening of music, comedy & theater. $40. 6:30 p.m. Monte Rio Ampitheater. 9925 Main St., Monte Rio. Tickets: monterioshow.com. www.sonomafamilylife.com

Have More Fun & Create Great Memories Get weekly FREE email updates for the best LOCAL family fun calendar visit

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Humor Break

The author with her daughters

trying to explain the complexities of jealousy, fear, and joy. I don’t want my daughters to be afraid of their emotions—it’s the most important lesson I want them to learn. The irony of this, of course, is that I’m actually afraid of how I will cope with the inevitable tsunami of kid-feelings that I know is only just beginning to emerge.

From Elmo to Emo Dancing with Kids’ Big Emotions

By Jessica Guerrieri

M

ost sane adults feared them, but I adored them: middle schoolers. They were my favorite students when I was a teacher.

Maybe because in my heart I sometimes still feel like an angsty, preteen girl myself. I vividly remember the visceral awkwardness of school dances, when my 11-year-old, 5’ 11” frame stuck out in the crowd like an ostrich in a chicken coop. But along with the discomfort, there was the excitement of curiosity and newfound freedom.

As a teacher, I had the enormous pleasure of chaperoning these same types of dances. I became 34 SonomaFamilyLife

the observer of a sea of turbulent emotions, hormonal heartbreak— and body odor that had the power to peel wallpaper. It was an up-close and personal view of the preciousness of preteens’ utter insecurity, juxtaposed alongside an unwavering confidence that they were the sole-knowers-of-absolutelyeverything. Duh. Now, a decade after I first chaperoned those dances, I am sitting center stage as I watch my girls figure out the dance of their own emotions. What began as Elmo singing little songs about the meaning of happy and sad has quickly morphed into me July 2022

My therapist has assured me that I am exactly the right person to empathize with these stamped copies of my childhood self. But my patience is definitely tested. As a teacher, my exposure to my students’ ups and downs was limited; as a mom, all my good hiding places are no longer a secret.

I don’t want my daughters to be afraid of their emotions.

But when it gets hard for us, I go back to my teacher days and the tumult I witnessed on the middle school dance floor. I remind myself of the lessons our feelings teach all of us: without sadness, we can’t discern joy; without fear, we wouldn’t know bravery. I know that, together, my daughters and I will learn to navigate the world of strong emotions—all while I have the honor of watching them dance to their own beat.

Jessica Guerrieri is a mom and a freelance writer and aspiring novelist.

Find her at jessicaguerrieri.net and on Instagram and Twitter @witandspitup.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

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BRING THE FUN TO YOUR NEXT CELEBRATION!

RENT A

Feast on Music

PHOTOBOOTH

W

hen the hip-hop artist Tru Lyric was a student at Analy High School in Santa Rosa, he struggled with anxiety and depression. As many artists do, he channeled his experiences into his work, and now, as an adult, has released an ep, Black Kids Like Emo that looks at life through the eyes of his younger self. The songs talk about bullies, exclusion, lost love, and ultimately self-love and acceptance. Tru Lyric is one of several local artists who will be performing at the Rivertown Revival music festival July 23–24 on Steamers Landing in Petaluma. Headliner R&B singer-songwriter Sean Hayes and musicians from a variety of genres—from folk and bluegrass to dream pop, electronica, and even Sinaloan—are part of the lineup. There will be special kids’ activities, too, including viewing and petting animals, dancing to music, playing with water, and engaging in group art. Tickets are $5–$40 and may be purchased at rivertownrevival.com. ¶

www.sonomafamilylife.com

BIRTHDAY PARTIES Weddings • Fundraisers • School Events

707-888-9672 • www.facebook.com/bedokaparties July 2022

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