September 26, 2015

September 23, 2015

Issue 1600

Rainbow Doritos -- not in stores, but with $10 to It Gets Better and bigots' heads exploding!

#KissesForKim features straights kissing to make a love statement Straight friends prove willing to support gays if they can upbraid Kim at the same time.

OBSERVER STAFF

tion to the anti-bullying campaign It Gets Better.

The special-edition rainbow-colored Doritos aren't even available to anyone who DOESN'T make a $10 dona-

Inside

Unveiled on ABC News, the new Doritos come in the Continued on page 12

Two luxuriantly bearded comedians from The Other

Gay man nominated to head U.S. Army; Huckabee wets self

Homophobe waves her tampon at city officials to oppose LGBT rights

First wedding anniversary marks 73 years as a couple Page 8

Fireside Chat: Walking in memory of Bobby Page 4

Arizona Catholic congressman to boycott pope’s U.S. speech Page 8

Stars sang dumpadump-Trump with Emmys, but then the show got serious Page 10 Ahmed’s clock struck a nerve, so we have to deflect attention from the police state Page 5 GOP’s Ben Carson punches Founding Fathers in the nose and few people even notice

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OBSERVER STAFF

Eric Fanning

WASHINGTON, D.C. -President Obama announced the nomination last week of an openly gay man to head the U.S. Army.

The history-making nominee is Eric Fanning, 47, who has been a specialist in national-security issues for more than 20 years and helped oversee some of the Pentagon's biggest shipbuilding and fighter-jet programs.

Story on page 5

Stuff launched a campaign last week to get straight guys to kiss a friend of the same sex, take a photo or video, and up-

Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation wins Copper Cactus Award they must have had choosing among so many worthy nominees.”

SAAF was honored along with fellow non-profits Ben’s Bells, Aviva Children’s Services and Handi-Dogs. 2015 marks the 19th anniversary of the awards, given out by the Tucson Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce.

According to CNN, Huckabee said Obama is "more interested in appeasing America's homosexuals than honoring America's heroes."

In other words, Fanning probably knows about the Army while Huckabee and Fischer don't know shit.

Continued on page 3

Kathleen Tonn tried a speech against LGBT rights but made a total ham hock of herself.

GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee immediately needed dry knickers.

And Bryan Fischer, the American Family Association chupacabra, chimed in with "The Army of the United States has become the Army of Sodom and Gomorrah. God help us."

load it with the hashtag #KissesForKim.

SAAF joins the company of many other non-profits who have been honored in the past including: Interfaith Community Services, Tucson Botanical Gardens and Old Pueblo Community Services.

Monique Vallery and Wendell Hicks with the Copper Cactus Award.

TUCSON -- On Sept, 11, the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation received the prestigious Copper Cactus Award in the Tucson Electric Power Charitable Non-Profit Business category.

SAAF Executive Director Wendell Hicks was on hand to accept the award. “How amazing to be honored in this way,” Hicks said. “We really appreciate the Chamber’s recognition but what a tough job

SAAF offers those living with HIV/AIDS an array of services based on need including housing, food, case management, and support groups. To schedule an appointment, please call (520) 628-7223. Visit www.saaf.org for more information.

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Young bagpiper throttles anti-gay street preacher ST. ANDREWS, Scotland -- A youthful bagpiper was cheered by a crowd on the streets of St. Andrews recently when he drowned out an antigay preacher "in the most Scottish way possible."

The piper blasted "Scotland the Brave" until the preacher decided he'd lost that battle and gave up.

Neither the preacher nor the bagpiper was immediately identified publicly. The video first surfaced on the Overheard in St. Andrews Facebook page; from there it jumped to YouTube and was eventually picked up in the U.S. by Joe My God. In the video, the preacher can be seen using an amplifier as he reportedly claimed same-sex marriage is ruining Scotland's economy.

The piper then appears, walking slowly toward the preacher and blasting away as the crowd cheers.

Dem front-runner says she'll reveal her position 'soon' CONCORD, N.H. -- The presidential candidate who has a Keystone XL Pipeline lobbyist as a key member of her campaign team told a town hall here last week that she'll let voters know "soon" whether or not she still supports the Keystone XL Pipeline.

That's probably an improvement over her previous response to the question, a couple of months ago: I'll tell you after you elect me.

Aside from hiring the Keystone lobbyist, hints of her position might include A) the fact that she shepherded the pipeline for six years as secretary of state, and B) her husband, Bill Clinton, is a major horndog for the Keystone.

On the other hand, polls have shown 40 percent or less support for the pipeline among Democrats, and the opposing 60 percent are mainly the progressives Hillary will need to attract in the Democratic primary.

Oopsie. Expect massive focus groups before she takes a public stance on that one.

Then again, there was commenter "esquimeaux" on Daily Kos, who pointed out that "her definition of 'soon' and mine might not match."

Vatican aides irked that U.S. LGBTs will welcome pope WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Obama's guest list for the pope's arrival was announced and it included people the church might be charged with ministering to, conservatives at the Vatican were pissed.

"A senior Vatican official" (unidentified) told the right-wing Wall Street Journal that "those guests" could put Pope Francis "at risk of having his photograph taken with those activists."

OBSERVER Gasp, no -- a photo of the pope WITH one of those people?

"This is definitely out of the ordinary," Michael Hichborn, president of the conservative Catholic group Lepanto Institute, told Fox News. "[President Obama is] trying to force the pope into a situation where it seems as if the church is giving license to homosexuality and socialism."

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of Adoption Lawyers filed a brief seeking a rehearing of the case.

Madonna spanks Anderson Cooper during performance

Particularly offensive, apparently, is former Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay man to hold such a title.

BROOKLYN, N.Y. -- Madonna has established a new tradition at her performances by picking an audience member to dance with her before they become her "bitch" during the song "Unapologetic Bitch," and last weekend in Brooklyn it was CNN anchor Anderson Cooper's turn.

No report on how U.S. gays are more of a contaminant than the married gay activist who welcomed the pope in Paraguay last month.

The performance involves . . . um . . . spanking and a banana. Someone would have to explain all that to the Observer staff.

Oh wait -- facts are not a factor in crap like this.

Madonna commanded Cooper to "bend over" because he'd been "a bad boy," then spanked him onstage.

Sanders unloads on anti-democracy GOP candidates Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders still refuses to criticize Hillary Clinton, but he sure unloaded on antigay, anti-equality Republican candidates last weekend.

He also said the national media aim only for "conflict between the candidates, rather than talking about the real issues impacting the American people."

At a Sunday campaign stop in Dubuque, Iowa, Sanders was asked why so many U.S. voters seem to vote against their own economic interests.

"I think the Republicans have done a brilliant job over the years — they're very smart guys — in dividing people on a million different issues," Sanders said.

Alabama rejects lesbian adoption OK'd by Georgia MONTGOMERY, Ala. -- The Alabama Supreme Court last week rejected a lesbian's Georgia adoption of three children she had raised since birth and adopted eight years ago.

You'll recall that this is the court headed by the anti-gay Chief Justice Roy Moore, so perhaps the only word in this mix that matters is "lesbian."

The court even recognized that the U.S. Constitution prohibits it from ruling on laws applied by a court from another state, but then asserted that the constitutional requirement can be ignored in this case because the Alabama court thinks the Georgia court granted the adoption in error.

One justice dissented, noting that deciding whether Georgia courts acted in error is not within the jurisdiction of Alabama courts. He added that every adoption in Alabama could be in jeopardy if some small error in procedure is later discovered.

The case involves a former lesbian couple with three children through donor insemination. After they broke up, the biological mother refused to allow visitation rights to the adoptive mother.

The American Academy of Adoption Lawyers and the Georgia Council

Afterward, she thanked him on Instagram for being a good sport: "Anderson thanks for being my Bitch tonight!!!

Hope you enjoyed the Banana!!"

Mayoral candidate's platform includes incarcerating gays KINGS MOUNTAIN, N.C. -- This week's "even stupider than last week's stupid" nomination goes to Eugene "Sherlock" Holmes, running for mayor in Kings Mountain on a platform of rounding up all the homosexuals and putting them in jail.

The 77-year-old says he's inspired

by Kim Davis. He and a million other people who need help getting their socks on.

"In my administration I would do just like Mrs. Davis did in Kentucky," Holmes told the Kings Mountain Herald. Of course, cities don't issue marriage licenses, so it's hard to know how the hell he might be planning to mimic Davis.

This isn't Holmes' first brush with fame, either. He was arrested in March for disorderly conduct and trespassing after he was screaming anti-gay slurs at the Family Worship Center (a church) and refused to leave.

Then there's his explanation on Charlotte's WJZY-TV about why "there's no way that a queer can be saved."

Just throw a net over him before he claims the mayor's office without putting it to a public vote.

Sanders unloads on anti-democracy GOP candidates Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders still refuses to criticize Hillary Clinton, but he sure unloaded on antigay, anti-equality Republican candidates last weekend.

He also said the national media aim only for "conflict between the candidates, rather than talking about the real issues impacting the American people."

At a campaign stop in Dubuque, Iowa, Sanders was asked why so many U.S. voters seem to vote against their own economic interests.

September 23, 2015 "I think the Republicans have done a brilliant job over the years — they're very smart guys — in dividing people on a million different issues," Sanders said.

"They divide people on gay marriage. They divide people on abortion.

They divide people on immigration. And what my job is, and it's not just in blue states, believe me, we're going to go to red states, we're going to conservative states, is to bring working people together around an agenda that works for their kids and works for their parents.

"Raising the minimum wage to 15 bucks an hour; having a trade policy that creates jobs in America, not in China; making sure that all our of kids can get a college education regardless of their income; fighting for pay equity for women workers," he listed.

Then he responded to a Wall Street Journal reporter: "Time after time, I'm being asked to criticize Hillary Clinton -- that's the sport that you guys like. ...

I am not going to get into the game of sitting around attacking Hillary Clinton.

We disagree, [but] if I have anything to say about it, we're going to have a respectful, intelligent debate about it."

1830 E Broadway Blvd #124-215 Tucson, AZ 85719 www.observerweekly.com info@observerweekly.com Voice Mail 520-812-0909 Editor-In-Chief Bob Ellis Executive Editor Nicholas K. M. Pafford Senior Editor Greg Miller Assistant Editor Christine Beall Assistant Editor Christopher L. Pankratz Phoenix Area Distribution T-Media Promotion Send Classifieds, Inquiry Letters, etc to: info@observerweekly.com Publication of names or photos of any person or organization in the Observer Weekly is not to be construed as indication of the sexual orientation of such person, organization or advertisers or any employees thereof.

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September 23, 2015

OBSERVER

#KissesForKim features straights kissing to make a love statement

GUEST COLUMN

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GOP's Ben Carson punches Founding Fathers in the nose and few people even notice

Continued from page 1

By R.D. Smith GUEST COLUMNIST

"Gay, straight, bi, trans, WHOMEVER! Show some love! Tweet, Instagram, whatever and #KissesForKim," the pair said in announcing their campaign to send a message to anti-gay Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis.

The Founding Fathers seldom wore their tinfoil hats for public amusement, or if they did they had the good sense to keep it from the media!

A number of straight (or allegedly so) guys and some women couldn't wait to jump on the bandwagon.

Davis, as the world now knows, was jailed briefly for contempt of court -- refusing to process any paperwork that could lead to a same-sex marriage after equality was ruled the law of the land.

She is on her fourth marriage but opposes marriages for gays and lesbians because it isn't "traditional."

The original announcement #KissesForKim stated:

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of

"Dear Kim Davis, We want to let you know that no matter what you do, love will always win.

"What we want you to do as you're watching this video is grab your closest friend, give him a kiss, take a photo or video, and upload it using #KissesForKim, to let Kim know that she cannot win ‌ and that we also love her and think she's beautiful."

Of course, it sounds like the fantasy of many a gay guy.

But you know what? It's a good thing some of those straight guys have another straight guy to kiss ...

These days it's a daily thing to be confronted by some dimwit and his sparkly pointed cap.

The number of Americans pushing ignorance right now is almost beyond calculation, but nobody does it better than the GOP and none among Republicans does it with the joy and abandon of their presidential candidates.

Usually it's Trump the Dictator (If I tell Mexico to build that wall for us, then of course Mexico will have no choice but to build our wall).

"Trump the Dictator," by the way, may finally be on his way to becoming just Trump the Tater after falling 8 points in the polls because of his last debate performance, but that's another column . . .

Last week the tinfoil hat caucus was led by Ben Carson, now statistically tied with former Hewlett-Packard Ogre Carly Fiorina for second place in the GOP clown cavalcade.

Carson announced Sunday on "Meet the Press" that a Muslim president would be "incompatible with the Constitution."

"Let us remember that we form a government for millions not yet in existence. . . . I do not know how it will work. This is most certain, that Papists may occupy that chair, and Mahometans may take it. I see nothing against it."

-- William Lancaster in 1788, discussing the presidency during debate on ratiďŹ cation of the U.S. Constitution

Carson was telling his base that he was simply whipping them into hysteria and not serious trying to attract votes.

History fail, Dr. Ben! It isn't just that Carson's statement is blatant religious bigotry -- it's an example of openly contradicting the historical record: The debate over ratification of the U.S. Constitution specifically addressed the possibility of a Muslim president sometime in the future and decided such a thing WOULD be "compatible with the Constitution."

Using religious criteria to pick the president is specifically prohibited under Article VI of the Constitution -- which Carson either hasn't read or chose to ignore in the heat of appealing to the ignorance of his base.

There's another point to be made:

How do we know that? Polls have shown that 60 percent of U.S. voters claim they wouldn't mind voting for a Muslim; the figures increase to 67 percent in the 30-to-49 age bracket and an astounding 76 percent among 18- to 29-year-olds.

So the only people who are going to vote for Carson over being a religious bigot are already pre-disposed to vote for him. The rest of us are left nauseated.

Somehow it seems appropriate that this week Muslims celebrate a major Islamic holiday, Eid Al Adha or the Feast of the Sacrifice. It commemorates the moment when God told Abraham to

sacrifice his son, Isaac -- golly gee, a story shared by Jews, Christians and Muslims alike.

But where were the reporters when Carson spouted his nonsense?

It's more of the same daily crap: Americans more and more often promote ignorance, and so-called reporters just report what is said as if it existed in a vacuum and isn't contradicted by reality.

Carson's stinky statement is identical to the anti-Jew stench of U.S. politics in the 1930s and the anti-Catholic b.s. against John F. Kennedy in 1960.

It's un-American and anti-Constitution, so why do people keep doing it?

One reason only: The American public continues to be so stupidly uninformed that we buy it.

I leave you with words from the Rev. Daniel Shute during debate over accepting the Constitution WITHOUT Carson's religious restriction on the presidency: "Whatever answer bigotry may suggest, the dictates of candor and equity, I conceive, will be 'None.' " You have yourself a nice 2016 campaign season, y' hear me, Bubba?

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Fireside Chat

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Walking in memory of Bobby

By Wendell Hicks Executive Director SAAF

He's kinda-sorta tried to apologize without quite taking it all back.

What he said, during an interview on Power 101.5 Radio's The Breakfast Club, was "Transgenders — they're marketing evil, man."

By Laura Alexander

He called Caitlyn Jenner and the media attention she spurred an "affront to God."

Laura and her brother, Bobby.

Over the last year, as I’ve celebrated multiple gay and lesbian weddings, I’ve thought a lot about the fact that my last happy time with my brother was my wedding and that he and his partner, Don, were unable to marry at that time.

In fact, my husband Fabian and I almost chose not to marry because of the unjust state of marriage law at that time.

I wonder what Bobby would be thinking today?

Fabian and I have walked in more than fifteen AIDSWALK events since 1994 and it’s been an incredible healing experience, not only from the trauma of losing my brother, but the many other friends I’ve lost to this disease. My first walk (in Milwaukee, WI) I was like a zombie, so overwhelmed with emotion I didn’t even cry. I’ve cried at most Walks since then, but a little less each year.

Walking with my family and friends, being with others who have lost loved ones, watching people give in support of my walk, speaking out about the loss of my brother, DOING something to help, has soothed my broken heart.

Today, I walk with Fabian and my 12-year-old daughter, Cecilia. We walk for lots of reasons. First and foremost we walk to celebrate Bobby’s life and remember his special place in our hearts. But also to support of all the people in our community who are currently living with HIV/AIDS who need the help of the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation. To increase the availability of housing for people with HIV/AIDS. To help promote safer-sex practices.

To prevent the spread of HIV, Hepatitis C, and other sexually transmitted diseases. To prevent suicide among LGBT youth and to make sure LGBT and questioning youth have accurate health information.

I also walk to teach Cecilia about the uncle she never met, the disease that

Rapper attempting to undo remark about trans, devil NEW YORK CITY -- With so much of the hip-hop community reaching out to the LGBT community these days, it was perhaps not the best career move for rapper Waka Flocka Flame to launch a self-righteous diatribe against the trans community last week.

AIDSWALK Tucson is celebrating its 27th anniversary on Oct. 11. Over the next few weeks, I will feature first-person accounts from participants about why they Walk. AIDSWALK is the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation’s flagship event and largest annual fundraising initiative. To learn more about this year’s Walk, to register, or to support a Walker, please visit www.aidswalktucson.com

Twenty-one years ago, I got married. In less than thirty days, my older brother Bobby died due to complications of AIDS. He was thirty-six years old. Six months later, the “AIDS cocktail” that might have extended his life was introduced.

September 23, 2015

For good measure, he blames the devil for the rise in media interest toward transsexuals and said Caitlyn Jenner and the media attention her transition spurred is an "affront to God." "Women are afraid to be a wife and young males is afraid to be men," he said. "It's like, it's not cool, they're not marketing that. They don't market families and husbands and wives no more."

The firestorm was not dying out this week, although Flame had taken his ass to Twitter to insist he's not homophobic, he has nothing against the community . . .

Except . . . well . . . just . . . you know, that devil shit.

Laura Alexander & daughter Cecilia at AIDSWALK Tucson 2014. took his life, and the power of standing up for what you believe. She’s growing up in a different world, where people are living longer with AIDS, where gay people can marry (she’s been to three gay weddings this year) and where young people have access to more information about sex and sexuality.

Whatever the battles of her generation will be, I want her to know that she has the power to influence the world.

AIDSWALK is about so much more than walking. It’s about healing.

It’s about action. It’s about making a difference. In honor of Bobby, and all those who have died or are currently living with HIV/AIDS, I hope you’ll join me.

To support Laura’s Walk directly, visit: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/ lauraalexander/aidswalk-tucson-2015

September 23, 2015

OBSERVER WEEKLY Ahmed's clock struck a nerve, so we have to deflect attention from the police state

By R.D. Smith GUEST COLUMNIST America's legions promoting ignorance have turned the uproar over a Texas ninth-grader into a debate over whether or not the kid actually invented a clock, among other things, rather than what the fight is really about: Will the U.S. become a police state or will we try to recapture what the country once was.

Anything to deflect the public from reality.

The idea that a 14-year-old kid's attempt at a homemade clock was actually meant to mimic a bomb and then he was stupid enough to take it from class to class showing the "bomb" to his teachers simply staggers the mind.

Does nobody give a thought to this stuff before they post it for the world to snigger about? Well, sniggering from the 70 percent or so of the world that's still remotely linked to rationality, at least.

Where does all this bile come from? People have lost the ability to be embarrassed by their own shallowness -- you need look no further than the current crop of presidential candidates to figure that out.

I mean, look at it: If Ahmed Mohamed simply took a home-built clock to school, how ludicrous is it for five police officers to "subdue" and handcuff a kid who looks to weigh maybe 90 pounds, then arrest him and cart him off to jail?

"On the other hand" is even worse: If Ahmed Mohamed did, as one critic is baying at the moon, simply take a mass-produced clock out of its box and put it in a pencil box and any person with a "basic hobby-level" knowledge could see that's what it was, how ludicrous is it THEN for five police officers to "subdue" and handcuff a 90-pound ninth-grader, then arrest him and cart him off to jail?

For it to be a "hoax bomb," as millions are claiming, Ahmed would have had to tell someone it was a bomb -i.e., that's where a "hoax" would begin, with somebody perpetrating it -- and

"The behavior here is nothing short of demented. . . . It's the natural, inevitable byproduct of the culture of fear and demonization that has festered and been continuously inamed for many years."

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Tennessee Repubs introduce bill to nullify any federal court ruling they don't like OBSERVER STAFF NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- In their continuing quest to wrest away the Arizona Legislature's crown as "more asshat than you!" Republicans in Tennessee have introduced a bill to simply nullify the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on same-sex marriage -- and by extension presumably any other ruling or law made by anyone else that doesn't strike the wingnuts' fancy.

-- Glenn Greenwald at The Intercept

Well, that ought to work . . .

LM Otero/AP Photo

Texas ninth-grader Ahmed Mohamed reacts with surprising grace and aplomb to the global limelight. The ugly backlash from the establishment is proving that this is incident much bigger than a minor kerfufe over a clock. that's the one thing everybody agrees Ahmed refused to do even when police insisted he had to do it.

Nobody suggested evacuating the school, as they would if there was the remotest chance of a bomb scare; nobody tried to get away from the "bomb" -- they parked it in an office and gathered around it to wait for the police ...

Nobody -- and I repeat nobody -- thought this was a bomb. (Not until later, when they had to figure out how to justify what they'd done.)

After some prodding, the local police chief of Irving, Texas, even admitted nobody thought it was "an explosive device."

To make it worse, one of the arresting officers -- who had never seen Ahmed before -- reportedly exclaimed as he set eyes on the teen, "Yup. That's who I thought it would be."

Now what could he POSSIBLY have been referring to, the first time he saw a kid with some brown skin pigment?

Oh, and by the way, if Irving sounds familiar, it might be because the city's

mayor, Beth Van Duyne, is in the national spotlight occasionally as one of the celebrities of the anti-Muslim bigotry sweeping the country. She was (preAhmed, at least) sometimes mentioned as a Republican on the rise, destined for higher office.

Naturally, after the kid was arrested and suspended from school, all charges were dropped because ... well, what was he charged with? Refusing to tell the police that his clock wasn't simply a clock -- that's why they said they arrested him.

I'm sorry, but the problem here is not whether a kid did or did not invent something.

The problem is the Nazi-style, police-state tactics. That's why we're being treated to every silly, stupid objection anyone can make up -- keeping people's minds off the important stuff until the whole thing blows over.

"The public outcry over Mohamed's arrest was also, presumably, less about the clock and more about what it says about us, as a society, that such a Continued on page 8

They admit that the law would be both illegal and unconstitutional, but they seem to think the cost and embarrassment would be worth it to the people of Tennessee.

While the bill was being introduced, an estimated 400 people rallied outside the Legislature in support.

The star-studded speakers' lineup at the rally included Joe Davis, husband of anti-gay Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis; Rafael Cruz, father of U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz; state Rep. Judd Matheny, R-Tullahoma, a major anti-gay chupacabra at the state level; and assorted well-known religious figures.

"This is religious warfare!" state Rep. Mark Pody of Lebanon, Tenn., exhorted the crowd.

Well, Pody, more accurately it's an assault on the U.S. Constitution and an attempt to turn Tennessee into a theocracy, but those words don't bring in the fund-raising the way "religious warfare" does.

OW

Where God's love for all is the good news!

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September 23, 2015

Turnabout For TIHAN 2015

September 23, 2015

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Salina

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This beautiful one year old kitty loves to lounge around and snuggle up. Salina is as sweet as she is lovely, and is super affectionate. She’s also quite a quiet kitty, preferring quiet afternoons to racing to and fro. She doesn’t mind being on a leash and harness—but would prefer to meander her own way, as all kitties do. She gets along with other cats quite well.

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First wedding anniversary marks 73 years as a couple

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Ahmed's clock struck a nerve, so we have to deflect attention from the police state Continued from page 5 thing would happen," wrote Dean Obeidallah at The Daily Beast.

No kidding! Ya think?

What it says about us, "as a society," is nothing pretty -- and people are determined to blame a 14-year-old kid for the visionof-the-living-dead that's being reflected back at them.

The Rev. Linda Hunsaker presides over the 2014 marriage of the two women.

OBSERVER STAFF DAVENPORT, Iowa -- Vivian Boyack and Alice "Nonie" Dubes observed a special occasion earlier this month -- their first wedding anniversary.

But it was somewhat overshadowed by their 73rd year together as a couple.

The Guardian reported that since their story made international headlines, Dubes and Boyack have declined all press requests and book offers, communicating their wishes through a man they have known since they

Vivian Boyack: "We're old and grouchy."

Alice Dubes: "After all, we're 92 years old. And it's time for us to go to dinner now."

They got married last year at the First Christian Church of Davenport. They got all the publicity they wanted at that time, and just wanted to celebrate their anniversary quietly -- with two close friends, cherry pie à la mode and iced tea.

-- the anniversary girls, cutting the interview short

"Nothing's changed. Still the same . . . " Dubes told The Guardian after their wedding.

"It's been fine, because we were together for 72 years before. We just couldn’t get married."

were both 19.

"We heard from 25 countries and all over the United States. People wanted to write books and all sorts of things," Dubes said.

They spend most of their days as they did before they were married – maintaining their four-room apartment and zipping around their re-

tirement village on electric scooters.

And why not? After sustaining a romance for 73 years, what higher target could they find to shoot for?

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September 23, 2015

To top it all off, Ahmed's old school (MacArthur High School in Irving -- let's give "credit" where "credit" is due) invited him to put on a smiley-face and just go back to school and let's just pretend nothing ever happened.

Yeah, that's what would happen if he were my kid. He could go back, maybe -- with a team of

lawyers to identify every "educator" who played a part in this humiliating charade.

Many people complain that Ahmed got the attention that hundreds of "more serious" young inventors deserve but don't get.

What can you say to that?

Maybe life isn't always fair?

If the other kids get handcuffed and arrested for their tinkering, maybe they'll get some publicity.

The thing is, Ahmed got there first, and his case is the one that has a chance to spark a serious debate about what America once was and could be.

Let's hope it works.

Arizona Catholic congressman to boycott pope’s U.S. speech WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A Roman Catholic congressman from Arizona says he'll boycott the pope's speech to Congress because there's always the chance the pope might advocate government action to combat climate change.

U.S. Rep. Paul Gosar of Bullhead City may be Catholic himself, but he doesn't hesitate to tell the pope how to do that poping stuff: If Pope Francis wants to devote his life to fighting climate change, the three-term congressman said, he should do so as an individual — not as pope.

So far, Gosar has not mentioned where he underwent his training to decide what a pope can or can't say, but it's mighty clear that "papal infallibility" went down the crapper somewhere in the recent past.

Cardinal Pietro Parolin, the Vatican's secretary of state, did say last week that the pope's speeches to Congress and the U.N. will emphasize the biblical instruction to be good stewards of the environment.

It would be fun to know what the pope really thinks of some asshat congressman from Arizona telling him what he's allowed to do. His Holiness probably needs a trip to the confessional booth to cleanse him of those thoughts.

September 23, 2015

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Homophobe waves her tampon at city officials to oppose LGBT rights OBSERVER STAFF ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Yes, she's a nut, and some of her rant requires an interpreter to follow.

God and Jesus were cringing in the back row somewhere.

"Since one of my brethren introduced the King James Bible, since I represent the Lord Jesus Christ the Great I Am, I'm going to add to your public document and your public record from the public document of the Great I Am," she yammered.

TUCSON -- St. Philip’s in the Hills Episcopal Church is this year’s host of the 7th Annual Multi-Faith Pride Service on Oct. 8 which kicks off Tucson’s month long celebration of Pride.

Other highlights of the evening will include music from Desert Voices and Reveille Men’s Chorus and Muslim participation for the first time.

She was speaking against a proposed Anchorage ordinance to protect gay and trans rights, and she had her tote bag full of props for the performance.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. You like my trumpet?" she asked, waving the tampon through the air.

"It's a sound heard around the world."

Multi-Faith Pride Service at St. Philips in the Hills is Tucson’s 7th annual

This year’s theme of the service is “Dancing the Bridge to Wholeness.”

Vivian Taylor will be the guest speaker.

Taylor is a transgender activist, writer, former chaplain assistant in the Army National Guard, and the past executive director of Integrity USA.

But Kathleen Tonn can also claim to be "a former U.S. Senate candidate" (doesn't take much to "run"); she's also somewhat famous for "speaking in tongues," and now she's one of the few women who has flashed her tampon during a city council meeting.

Voila! She pulled a Bible out of the tote bag. Voila! She pulled a tampon out of the Bible.

Page 9

St. Philip’s is located at 4440 N. Campbell Ave. The service begins at 7 p.m. and runs till 9 p.m. which includes a light post service reception.

Then she read a passage from Peter, describing the wrath unleashed by God against Sodom and Gomorrah.

"Now, since you want to create some ordinance to avoid discrimination for members of our community who engage in, I perceive, unhealthy, ungodly behavior, you might want to consider

[S]he showed up to the Anchorage Assembly meeting with a beanie, a trumpet, a tampon, a Bible, and what can possibly be construed as a message -- if you squint and wear earplugs.

creating an ordinance for one who speaks in tongues."

Or, in the old days, they might have wanted to have her committed.

Reagan put a stop to that because he didn't want tax money being spent to care for -- John Aronno, Alaska people who might no Commons longer be able to see after themselves.

To volunteer, call Mark Rosenbaum For support services, call a Link Specialist For more information, events, or to donate, visit www.tihan.org

Page 10

As Clark Saw It

Zoe’s World

OBSERVER

By Gary Clark

WEEKLY

September 23, 2015

Stars sang dumpa-dumpTrump with Emmys, but then the show got serious

By Zoe

By R.D. Smith GUEST COLUMNIST Donald Trump didn't like Sunday's Emmys telecast.

No, I haven't been in touch with him since then. I'm just saying: When an ass that size gets spanked that hard, the shit's gonna spew.

The show was still young when host Andy Samberg sprung this one:

"Hell hath no fury like an auditorium of really famous people united by political exasperation and given a microphone to make jokes from, and the business mogul turned Republican presidential hopeful was the butt of many of them.

And, man, was that butt kicked hard."

-- Kevin Fallon at The Daily Beast "Donald Trump is running for president, to the delight of uncles everywhere. I've got to say, sure, Donald Trump seems racist." Then the usual pause for a punchline -- which didn't come. "Let's see, what else?"

Critics actually praised the telecast as tolerable -- how rare is that for an awards show? -- a winning combination of searing political humor with apparently genuine, sincere tears.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus's acceptance speech for best actress, for her performance in "Veep"? She claimed to be quoting a line from the show, but according to Daily Beast it came out: " 'What a great honor it must be for you to honor me tonight.' She, too, Continued on page 12

September 23, 2015

Monday BRODIES TAVERN - Service Industry Night 7 p.m.- 2 a.m. $2.50 House Well, Long Islands, Margaritas on Tap, $3 16 oz. BudBud Light-Mic Ultra Cans, Fireball Shots.

IBT’s 11a.m.-2a.m. Taking Back Mondays hosted by Diva featuring *3-4-1 Well Vodkas (Regular, Grape & Cherry) 9 - Close. Karaoke Inside or Lounge on the Patio 9 p.m.

VENTURE-N Open Noon-2am. Free Music.

Free WiFi 2 for 1 Original Everything Happy Hour 5-6 pm.

Friday BRODIES TAVERN - Get the Party Started Friday 7 p.m. - 2 a.m. $3 Malibu Rum Black-House Long Islands-Pucker Vodka, Margaritas on tap-XX Pints IBT’s - 11a.m.-2a.m., Flawless Fridays featuring “Absolutely Flawless” Drag Show hosted by China Collins @ 9 p.m. DJ Import Inside after the show, Million$DJ on the Patio 9pm. GoGo Boys @11p.m.

VENTURE-N - Open Noon-2am. Free Music. Free WiFi 2 for 1 Original Everything Happy Hour 5-6 pm.

OBSERVER WEEKLY Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

BRODIES TAVERN - Two Buck Tuesday 7 p.m. - 2 a.m. $ 2 House Well, Fire Eater Shots, $2 Margaritas on Tap, $2 Long Islands IBT’s - 11a.m.-2a.m.; Taco Tuesdays. $1 Tacos. Drink Specials 9-Close: Mix-n-Match Mexican Beer Special, Tequila Specials (Patron $6, Milagro $4.50, Hornitos $4, Cuervo $3.50), Million$DJ Inside 9 p.m.

VENTURE-N - Open Noon-2am. Free Music. Free WiFi 2 for 1 Original Everything Happy Hour 5-6 pm.

BRODIES TAVERN - Whiskey Wednesday 7-2 a.m. $3.25 Jack-Jim Beam-JamesonFireball-Makers Mark-Johnny Walker Red IBT’s - 11a.m.-2a.m., “Viva La Diva” Drag Show Hosted by Diva at 9. “Whiskey Breath” Drink Special Every Wednesday 9-Close. $2 Well, $3 Call, $4 Select Top Shelf Whiskey and Scotch Blend Whiskies. Million$DJ Inside after the drag show.

VENTURE-N - Open Noon-2am. Free Music. Free WiFi 2 for 1 Original Everything Happy Hour 5-6 pm.Dave’s $3.50 Margaritas and Long Island Iced Teas

BRODIES TAVERN - Customer Appreciation 7-2 a.m. Two-for-One Well-Domestic Bottles, Margaritas on Tap House Kasiz Shots IBT’s - 11a.m.-2a.m. Therapy every Thursday. All Day *2-4-1 Drink Specials (excludes top shelf, wine & draft). Million$DJ Inside at 9 p.m., DJ Sid the Kid on the Patio 9 p.m. GoGo Boys @11 p.m.

VENTURE-N - Open Noon-2am. Free Music. Free WiFi 2 for 1 Original Everything Happy Hour 5-6 pm. 4.00 Titos/Absolut, Cosmos/Martis from Dan G

Saturday BRODIES TAVERN - Back Pocket Sabado Latino 7 p.m. - 2 a.m. $3 Magaritas on tap-Corona Bottles, $3.25 Latin Beers-XX Micheladas, $1 Tequila Shots-Corona Ritas IBT’s - 11a.m.-2a.m., Karaoke on the Patio 5 - 8 p.m., “Saturday Night Starlettes” drag show Hosted by Janee Starr 9pm, Million$DJ on the Patio 9 p.m., DJ Import Inside after the drag show.

VENTURE-N - Open Noon-2am. Free Music. Free WiFi

Monday 12-3 p.m.

4-5:30 p.m.

4:30-6:30 p.m.

6:30-7:30 p.m.

7-9 p.m.

7-10 p.m.

7-8:30 p.m.

7-9 p.m.

6 p.m.

sources

Mah Jongg Mondays Himmel Park Library.

Ages 50+, 1035 N. Treat.

In Our Own Voices, Women’s therapy group for survivors of sexual trauma, SACSA, 1600 N. Country Club, 520.327.1171 Cancer Support Group for LGBT People, Arizona Cancer Center at UMC-North, Rm 1127, 3838 N. Campbell Ave. 520.694.0347 Regardless of… NA LGBT Meeting, Trinity Presbyterian Church, 400 E. University Blvd.

SAGA General for trans forlks and allies 1st Monday SAGA Desert Girlz for trans Femanine folks 2nd Monday Reveille Men’s Chorus Open Rehearsal, Rincon Congregational Church, 122 N. Craycroft Tucson Women’s Chorus rehearsal.Call for details: 520.743.0991 Desert Girlz meeting at Wingspan PFLAG en Español Meets the 1st Monday of each month at Fortin de las Flores: 243 W. 33rd St.

4 p.m.

LGBTQA Support Group.

LGBTQ Affairs Office, UA Student Union level four.

SAGA Desert Boyz for trans masculine folks 3rd Tuesdays

7-9 p.m.

Wednesday 3-8 p.m.

SAAF’s MSHAPE Lounge offers mens health resources

12-1 p.m.

Pink Triangle AA Meeting, 439 N. Sixth Ave. Everyday.

Gender Spectrum support Group. UA Campus Health Service Building Room C312. $5 TMC Hospice LGBTQ Grief Support Group. 1st and 3rd Wednesdays, Peppi’s House Chapel, 2715 N. Wyatt Drive.

RSVP at: 520-324-2438.

Wednesday Night Christian Bible Study, Cornerstone Fellowship Social Hall, 2902 N. Geronimo Ave. Weekly Bears Coffee at Crave, 4530 E. Broadway Blvd.

3-4:30 p.m.

4:30-6 p.m.

6:30-7:30 p.m.

7-9 p.m.

BRODIES TAVERN - Funday 7 p.m. - 2 p.m. $2.50 House Well, $3 House Long Islands, Tap Magaritas, $1 House Kasiz Shots, $1.75 Domestic Pints IBT’s - 11a.m.-2a.m., Karaoke 4-8:30 p.m.

“Cheap Ass Sunday’s” 9-Close feat. 2-4-1 Drinks and Bottle Beer (exclude top shelf, wine & draft), Karaoke Inside 9pm; DJ Sid the Kid on the patio 9 p.m.

VENTURE-N - Open Noon-2am. Free Music. Free WiFi

Two Spirit support group.

African American Student Affairs MLK Center, 1322 E. 1st Street.

6 p.m.

Write Now! a writer’s group open to all at Revolutionary Grounds 606 N. 4th 6:30-7:30 p.m. Regardless of… NA LGBT Meeting, Trinity Presbyterian Church, 400 E. University Blvd.

7 p.m.

Weekly Meditation Classes in Central Tucson, cost: $10, Kadam Meditation Center Arizona 1701 E. Miles St. 7-9 p.m.

SAGA Desert Partnerz for cis-gendered 4th Thursday 7-10 p.m.

Triangle Tribe, Men’s Support Group. Call 520-398-6826

3-8 p.m.

SAAF’s MSHAPE Lounge offers mens health resources

4-5:30 p.m.

Support Group for Transgender Survivors of Sexual Trauma, SACSA, 1600 N. Country Club Queer People of Color &

5:30-6:30 p.m.

Ajia Simone, Owner 426 E. Ninth St. 520.624.8400

10-11.30 a.m.

10-12 p.m.

2-5 p.m.

2:45 p.m.

Friday 4 p.m.

5:30-6:30 p.m.

6:30 p.m.

Wingspan’s Eon Youth Program New Youth Orientation Fridays at 4p.m.

Youth Center Open M-F Oasis LGBT Social Group. Email oasis.wingspan@gmail.com Bingo at MCC Every Friday call John 975-3166.

2nd Saturdays

Bears of the Old Pueblo Potluch 2nd Saturdays 520.444.2275 Transparents For parents of trans kids. RSVP SAGA to attend.

Sunday 9-11 a.m.

Co-ed Softball, all abilities welcome. Oury Park, 600 W.St. Mary’s

Advice For Life & Prayers for World Peace. Bud dha’s teachings, Kadampa Meditation Cen ter Arizona 1701 E. Miles St. LGBT Buddhist Medita tion Group meets every Sunday at The Three Jewels, 314 E. 6th St. in Tucson. Meditation sessions with readings, recordings, and discussion. Welcoming to all.For info call Jim at 520-884-4218.

Mamasitas! Men’s Sports club at Menlo Park The New Men’s Massage Group. Sept 21 at 4 pm. Call Marc at 881-4582 to sign up. Or email bleu55@gmail. com in advance. It’s a great place to meet men.

Safe, non-sexual but very sensual and a little erotic.

Donation.

3-5p.m.

Men’s Social Network “H” Club open to entire LGBTQ community. This is a fun discussion, learning and participation group meeting for discussions on major words beginning with the letter “H.” Doesn’t meet the 1st Sunday of the month.

5:30 p.m.

Puertas Abiertas Latin/ Hispanic LBGTQ/Ally support group meeting at Wingspan 430 E 7th St – every 3rd Sunday of the month at 5:30pm.

Saturday

Thursday

SAAF’s MSHAPE Lounge offers mens health re-

Sunday

2:30-4:30p.m.

Tuesday 3-8 p.m.

Page 11

Page 12

OBSERVER

WEEKLY

Rainbow Doritos -- not in stores, but with $10 to It Gets Better and bigots' heads exploding!

Continued from page 1 colors of the Pride flag – red, orange, green, blue and purple. The package come with the slogan "There's nothing bolder than being yourself."

Amy Schumer, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele took their turns at bat, and all swatted Trump once again.

Notice that you get them by donating, so if you don't want them, you don't even get exposed to them, understand?

That didn't stop homophobic wingnuts from acting as if a big one just plopped in their own personal punch bowl.

Some of the Twitter exchanges are priceless.

Stars sang dumpadump-Trump with Emmys, but then the show got serious Continued from page 10 paused ... 'Sorry, Donald Trump said that.' She twisted the knife further, too.

'It's getting trickier and trickier to satirize this stuff.' "

The special chips are only available in the 48 contiguous states.

The wingnuts, in turn, provided the perfect setting for Mike Melgaard, who achieved Internet fame earlier this year by trolling bigots when Target stopped stocking toys by gender -- so he took up the cudgel for Doritos.

September 23, 2015

The out co-host of ABC's "Good Morning America," Robin Roberts, samples one of the chips that are exploding right-wing heads coast to coast.

But what could have been Trump's least favorite moment came with the playing of an old tape showing him in denim overalls and singing the theme song from "Green Acres" with Megan Mullally. OMG -- that video should be kept at Fort Knox, it's that valuable.

But if the first half was burning Trump in effigy, the second half turned serious.

Viola Davis made history by being the first black woman in the Emmys' 67year history to win the award for best actress in a drama series ("How To Get Away With Murder").

Her whole acceptance speech is being widely praised, but this one gem stands out: "Let me tell you something: The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.

You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there."

And even that may have been an anti-climax after people witnessed the raw, open sobbing of Uzo Aduba ("Orange Is the New Black") as she paid tribute to her sister and offered magnanimous praise to the others involved with the show: "I love you mostly because you let me be me."

Even The Donald makes the B team when it comes to topping Aduba on that.

Remember to send in your wedding announcements and photos to info@observerweekly.com so we can print them here for all the world to see.