The Olive Press Catalunya magazine March 2012 issue 46 by Mathew Sample

March 2012 issue 46

BARCELONA & SOUTHERN CATALUNYA

the mad march issue

Sitges Vintage Car Rally The first Barcelona - Sitges Vintage Car Rally took place in February 1959 when just 23 cars participated. The start of the Rally is Plaza Sant Jaume in Barcelona where between 80 and 100 cars are admired by visitors before setting off to Sitges along the coastal road. It is a truly international affair with participants from all over the world competing for First Prize. Not only are the cars magnificent but the drivers costumes are elegantly in keeping with the age of the car. After arriving at the Port d’Aiguadolç, the cars then assemble at Plaza de la Fragata ready to be admired by all. Sponsored by Audi the cars range from a 1906 Clement Bayard to a 1928 Ford Phaeton. The competition winners are not just the fastest, but the ones with the most original automobiles and who also dress in accordance with the times of the car they are participating with.

rch 201 15th . 2

TIMETABLE Vintage cars travel along the old seaside road from Barcelona to Sitges. 13:30 - Port d’Aiguadolç, Av.Balmins, Rafael Llopart, Jesús, Cap de la Vila, Parellades, Bonaire, Passeig de la Ribera. Exhibition: Plaza de la Fragata.15:00 - 18:00. www.rallyesitges.com

SG Rustica

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Reforms New Build All trades catered for Plumbing, electrical and tiling Free quotations without obligation Fluent in English and Spanish.

THE

COVER PICTURE: The mad hatters tea party Gwynned Hudson

Welcome to the March edition of “The Olive Press” Welcome to the March issue… Well the winter is nearly over, and time to look forward to a long summer. We have been busy finding distribution points above Barcelona up as far as Roses. The magazine has been given a good reception so far by the expats of Northern Catalunya, We will be delivering the April Edition of the Magazine at the end of March, making “The Olive Press” a truly “All of Catalunya” English Language Magazine. Anyone who would like to be a distribution point above Barcelona for the magazine please contact us. arcelona, Sitges, CastelldeB fels, Cubelles, Cunit, Calafell, Coma Ruga, Vilanova I la Geltru,

Gwynedd M. Hudson studied art at the Brighton School of Art. She was a figure painter, illustrator, and poster artist. She exhibited at the Royal Academy around 1912 (at least). She is best known for her editions of Barrie's Peter Pan and Wendy and Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which received the lavish giftbook treatment (started with the books of Dulac and Rackham) being issued as a large, elaborate book in both a trade and a de luxe edition (featured in The Bookman's Christmas Portfolio for 1922). Her Alice is generally considered one of the finest and has been repeatedly reprinted. She illustrated perhaps a half dozen or so other books, mostly for poetry and religious published for Hodder in delicate Art Nouveau watercolors. Despite this, more information about Hudson is not easily found.

Torredembarra, Altafulla, Tarragona, Salou, Cambrils, Mont Roig, Vandellos, Miami Playa, L’Hospitalet de L’Infant, Calafat, L’Ametlla de Mar, El Perello, L’Ampolla, Tortosa, San Carles de La Rapita, Vinaros, Ulldecona, Freginals, Bitem, Xerta, Tivenys, Benifallet, Gandesa, Ginestar, Mora D’Ebre, Riba Roja D’Ebre, Flix, Rasquera.

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looking for a business then visit our business directory online. see our web site for daily updates of classifieds and extra useful information. all advertisers will also be placed in the business directory on our web site with links to their own web sites!

Contributors: | Clodagh & Dick Handscombe | Jeff Greensmith | Taru Burstall | David Piqué/ Carlos Prieto Cid /Stuffed Olive Designs Printing: Indugraf SA Deposito Legal: MA-1565-2008

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3 months...10%..Discount taken in last month. 3 months...15%..Paid In Advance. 6 months...15%..Discount taken in last month. 6 months...20%..Paid In Advance

Please contact us by: E-mail: info@theolivepress.eu Web : www. theolivepress.eu Telephone: 977 457 201 Deadlines: Adverts 15th Articles: 12th of the month.

No adverts or artwork in the Olive Press Catalunya magazine or web site may be reproduced or used for print, media or web in part or in their entirety without the express permission of the Olive Press Catalunya. Adverts. and logos remain the property of the magazine. To use any artwork please contact us.

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LIVE PRESS

Contents

Visit our web site & view the magazine online www.theolivepress.eu

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New -In Spain PC Tips

6+8+9+23

Page 8

Your Horoscope 11 Can it be True? 10+13+27+30 China buys Europe 13 The Lighter Side 14+16+17 Mongrel Crossbreeds 18 Health & Well Being 20 Gourmet Treat your taste buds 22+23 Law 24+25 Home & Garden 26 Property News Roundup 28+29 Crossword- Spanglish 32 What's On 33 Classifieds 34+35 Business Card Directory 36-39

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Page 22

Disclaimer: No part of this publication may be reproduced by any means without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Olive Press does not accept responsibility for the contents of the articles supplied by contributors nor for the claims made by advertisers

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news in spain

Spain's most indebted village

he debt is about 20,000 € per resident, and the story is now getting international coverage The village of Peleas de Abajo, in Zamora, is getting publicity after being revealed as the most indebted village in Spain. The local town hall has a debt of some five million €, which with the 241 inhabitants, works

out at about 20,000 € for each resident International media are taking an interest in the story, from Latin America and the BBC in Europe. The Mayor, Félix Roncero, from a group of independent voters, said that if the village was paid something every time it appeared in the media, then the debt in the public budgets would have been removed. As it is cuts are being made, including the suppression of the Mayor’s wage, the cutting of the council’s mobile phones, and expenses paid to councillors for attending meetings and informative commissions. Local residents are also seeing their rubbish collection, and water rates going up, as the tax levied on the local cemetery. They also say there will be no band brought in to headline the village fiestas this year on July 16. Most of the debt was created with the construction of a municipal pensioners’ home, where debts of 2.7 million € remain outstanding.

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L'Ampolla with sea/Delta views you will find a finca with a house on it of 130m2 on a 0,5 hect finca. The house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living room, kitchen/ dining area, fireplace and a porch. REDUCED TO 109.000€

+34 628 091 153 Rita or +34 628 091 050 Peter Ronda del Mar 24 (office) 43895 L´Ampolla www.losduendesproperties.com • contact@losduendesproperties.com 6

PC TIPS

Be Picky With Software ! How many toolbars do you have on your web browser?

Do you have toolbars from Google, Yahoo, MSN, Ask, and more? Just pick one – all the others do pretty much the same thing and just get in the way. How did you end up with so many toolbars? Chances are you downloaded and installed something and didn’t read about the fact that the free software was going to install a toolbar as well. The military have an initialization known as RTFQ – the G-rated version is Read The Full Question. How much software do you need on your computer? Allow me to ask this another way. Do you put every scrap of paper that goes through your hands into your filing cabinet? If you did, how soon would it take for the filing cabinet to burst, leaving you to curl up in the fetal position wondering where your birth certificate went. Same thing happens with your computer when you add every little piece of software you see

to your computer. Be picky. If you aren’t going to use that software at least once a week – you probably don’t need it on your computer. If you haven’t used a piece of software in a few months, think about uninstalling it. Next Month GET ORGANISED

Your trial period is over Please register to continue using this software

news in spain Nine in every 10 Spaniards feel uncomfortable speaking English

THE

Many feel that more time should be spent on the subject in schools

A new survey has shown that nine in every ten Spaniards still feel uncomfortable speaking English, despite the fact that 37% of them have spent more than 15 years studying the language. Thirty five percent said they felt insecure and embarrassed, and 4% said they would not make the attempt in case they

Government toughens control on Spain's banks.

The measures are to be passed by the cabinet.

seemed ‘ridiculous’. Europa Press reports that one in two, although knowing that their grammar was not correct, would however try and speak the language. The survey by ‘Pueblo Inglés – More than English’ also revealed that 98% of those questioned felt that the standard of teaching English in Spain’s schools was not the best. Many felt that more time should be spent on the subject in schools, with particular emphasis on conversations with English speakers and on role playing for real life situations. Language schools and academies were the most popular method of learning English, but more than half said the best way was spending time abroad in English-speaking countries.

Italian cruise ship captain Francesco Schetino began his new job as a bus driver yesterday

The Spanish Government is introducing a reform of the financial system and toughening up on the demands for those banks which have real estate assets as part of their portfolios. The cabinet wants the banks to sell the homes on their portfolios, and the Government is now demanding that the coverage they have for plots of building land be increased from 31% to 80%.

A generic 7% will have to be put aside from profits each year. The FROB bank bailout fund will be increased to 15 billion, and will be made available to those banks and savings banks which have embarked on the merger process. The Government is to set a four month limit on the banks who want to merge. The Government wants to create a financial cushion will total 50 billion to cover the real estate assets. Banks will have ‘a single one time’ to make their balance sheets healthy. The Government promise to make the financial sector healthy without turning to public funds. The measures have been released by the Minister for the Economy, Luis de Guindos, and are expected to be approved by the Government in cabinet on Friday morning. ‘We want viable entities, that the process be rapid and deep and that the measures be applied immediately’, he said. All this is going on as Spain’s five main banks have announced profits in 2011 down 35.34% on 2010.

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The five main banks are Santander, BBVA, LIVE PRESS Banco Popular, Sabadell and Banesto.

Santander and BBVA earned over 90% of the profits of the five. The fall in profits has been more marked as monies have been set aside for provisions. Fitch ratings agency also announced a reduction in their ranking for 12 cities and regions in Spain, and also downgraded four public sector bodies. The regions hit are the Madrid region, Madrid capital, Andalucía, Asturias, Canarias, Cantabria, Álava, Guipúzcoa, Vizcaya, Barcelona, Pamplona and Vigo. Most of them are down to ‘A’ rating.

A woman went to the Doctor and said "When I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw my hair was frizzy, my skin wrinkly, my eyes bloodshot – what is wrong with me?". The Doctor replied "Well the good news is that your eyesight is fine".

A.R.C.A. NEWS.

LIFES A BEACH FOR BONNIE. Bonnie was found up in the mountains almost at deaths door, very thin and had recently had pups, which were not found with her, we adopted her from A.R.C.A. 6 years ago, she is such a loving, gentle dog & so happy to be loved & in a safe home. A.R.C.A. have many loving dogs like Bonnie, wanting a second chance, sadly they have a short life and for many a very sad one, if you can change a life of just one dog the reward is amazing, you have a true friend & companion which is unbeatable. You can text or call me on 678 975 816. Many thanks once again, Mave.

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“Worrying Downturn Now Overcome” Say Brewers

Ed Milliband To Undergo Surgery to become electable

The Labour leader has long fought off accusations that his nerdish appearance would hinder his chances of winning the next election. Mr. Miliband foolishly argued with his advisers that voters cared about issues and not the attractiveness of the candidates. This is not the first time an aspiring Prime Minister has used surgery to improve his chances. Tony Blair had the width of his smile increased by 300%. Mr. Miliband was said to be distraught that his “We did know what speech of “We sucked last year but this year we’re totally wicked yeah,” did not go down to do! we looked to well with the see if there was some electorate and his good news which had polices of saying stopped everyone stuff that sound “adjusting their attitude” good but probably on a daily basis, but could find won’t nothing!”. happen was Rory said to be a McDrunk failure. (pictured) Sources speaking Before After close can it be true on behalf to the opposition leader say he was of the “inconsolable,” and that there is nothing consumer sadder than, “geek tears.” said “ Wot Mr Milibands purposed surgery is in fact, said to be the most in depth Prime Dip Was Ministerial surgery since a young that? hey! Margret Thatcher had her testicles you looking implanted. The surgery is said to target at my woooman!” Milibands chin, nose, eyes, ears, mouth and forehead It appears that the worrying (for the brewers) They are also planning to fix that voice statistic , could have been mere coincidence thing he has. We have manged to secure a photograph of what the ideal outcome of the With drinkers coming out of the haze for a few procedure will look like. hours to see if all was as bad as they remember, and immediately returning A downturn in alcohol sales last month after 50 years of constant growth had brewers throughout the world holding their breath ( see Graph) A famous Belgian brewer well known for their Weef Beetre fine lagers and thought provoking ads told The Olive Press.

Aries (March 21-April 20)

Taurus (April 21-May 21)

Gemini (May 23-June 20)

Cancer (June 21-July 20)

Leo (July 21-Aug. 22)

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

What is of true value to you will be highlighted during this Wesak eclipse month. It would be best to put all desires for things in matter aside, allow them to fall away, so you that can achieve a new level of illuminative thought and aspiration that outlines your spiritual future. Anything less means confusion.

You must consider what it takes to create true links of love to others. You must assess how you communicate and what intentions are behind your expressions. What will/Will is being used? For what purposes? Your individual self is being invited into the transcending whole of the group. What will awaken?

A wider discernment and greater reality on how to tend and nurture relationships will surface. As old patterns dissolve (Pisces influence), new patterns will emerge. Do not be uneasy if a sort of confusion takes place at first. This is normal when Neptune seeks to refine our behaviours. Old details are dashed and a new compassion and sensitivity is dreamt about. You are being watched and observed from the perspective of Hierarchy, those who watch over our world. It would be good to be aware of this and to shoulder the leadership responsibility of supporting others in their efforts to serve also. There is interplay here between you and Capricorn (sign of deep responsibility). You are to help bring the Plan to Earth.

During this Wesak month you seek to dissolve all feelings, thoughts, ideas, and activities that could create separations between you and other(s). You aspire (above desire yet mixed with it) to dissolve self into the Light. Your pathway is devotion. You sow seeds of kindness. It's time.

Many influences are at work during this Wesak/lunar eclipse festival. Two parts of the self need to be resolved -- your higher and lower selves. One must gain control of the personality, place it on the white horse of the Soul and teach it to walk the Path of the Mind principle. Pray for this.

Be sincere and honest. Try to listen. Wait awhile before casting the self in a martyr's pose. It's won't work for you. You may be work busy but harmony within relationships is more important. Without it your professional life suffers. New opportunities within relationships appear. Incorporate them into daily life. Be enthusiastic. It means filled with God.

You may feel an interlude within relationships. So that you can assess more clearly and confidently what relationships mean to you, their value, how to balance yourself within them, how to choose and how to see the greater Will in effect within yourself. All opposing forces will be held in check. Observe everything.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Sagittarius(Nov.22-Dec. 20)

Capricorn(Dec.21-Jan20)

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 18)

Pisces (Feb. 18-March 20)

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You become a facet of creative energy that widens and deepens as the month unfolds. Hundreds of ideas will occur to you. You'd best write them down so as to recapture their essence in the future. They are the vital spark of divine intelligence (Ray 3) design flowing through your mind. They are your joy.

You are being given the task of nurturing form. Perhaps it's building a fence or a stone walkway, a garden path or fertile soil for a garden. Whatever is needed in your environment you will be called to fulfill it's purpose. In this way you anchor love and willingness and produce a matrix for something soon to be birthed. Stay with this.

Being love filled may be the subtle energies you're experiencing but only if you are still. The Sun is attempting to express its great potencies through you. Stand therefore in the Sun each day, make contact, and acknowledge both presences -- you and the Sun (our greater God). This occurs so consciousness can do its work through you.

In all ways you will be asked to serve the Law of Right Human Relations. You will need clear self-awareness in order to blend opposing forces. Apply love to your intelligence. Find the second star in the handle of the Big Dipper. This is Ray 2 of Love/ Wisdom, your ally

Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in Old Ireland All over the world, St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated with elaborate parades; families tuck into the traditional dinner of corned beef and cabbage (traditional everywhere except Ireland, that is); and, in the pubs, the green beer flows swifter than the River Shannon. It’s odd to think that just a short time ago, none of the most popular customs we often take for granted even existed. In fact, today’s international festivities are very different from how St. Patrick’s Day was once celebrated in old Ireland While St. Patrick’s Day is now a national holiday, as well as a religious feast day, a few hundred years ago, the emphasis was on spirituality and a much needed break from the austerities of Lent. Families would attend Mass, and every youngster proudly wore a St. Patrick’s Cross. The week before the festival, children busied themselves in the making of the crosses, which differed, depending on whether you were a boy or a girl. The boy’s cross consisted of a three-inch square of white paper on which was drawn a circle divided by elliptical lines. Each compartment was shaded in with a different color. For yellow, an egg yolk was often used; green could be had by chewing young grass; laundry blue provided another shade; and red, well, it was a cross for a little boy and one can only imagine how proud he must have been to sacrifice a

few drops of blood in honor of St. Patrick! Come the big day, the finished cross was jauntily worn, military style, on his cap. The girls were a bit fancier, formed by placing two three-inch pieces of cardboard or stiff paper at right angles to each other. To hold them in position, they were wrapped with ribbons of different colors and then a green rosette was placed in the center. The proper way for a girl to wear her cross was either pinned at the right shoulder or on her chest. And, speaking of proper, it would have been considered a major faux pas for a girl to wear a boy’s cross or vice versa.Besides the crosses for children, there was another type which was made only by the menfolk. This was formed out of twigs from wild sallow and, as with the St. Brigid’s Cross, it was pinned to the thatch on the inside of the house. Each year a new one would be added.With all of their crosses prepared, children went to bed on the eve of March 17th happy and contented - as did the adults.

Tomorrow, all Lenten restrictions would be set aside for a day of feasting and merriment! Whatever the weather, St. Patrick’s Day was generally regarded as the middle day of spring. And, as the good saint had promised improved weather from March 17th onward, this was the time Ireland’s farmers planted the main potato crop. Delaying this work long after the feast day would have been regarded by the neighbors as slovenly or lazy. That said, no-one expected any work to be done on the big day itself! While we don’t celebrate the way our ancestor’s did, one custom has come down to us - the wearing of the Shamrock. We never wore any more green than that - to do so, according to my mother, would have been too great a temptation for the fairies! She was a firm believer in the old superstition that green was their favorite color and they’d spirit away any child fully-garbed in green. Meanwhile, back in the Ireland of our ancestors, when Mass was over, the mother and children would hurry back to the house to begin preparing the feast. Just as quickly, the men headed for the pub to drink the ‘Pota Pádraig’ or St. Patrick’s Pot. This term is rarely heard today, but it continued in fairly general use until quite recently and was also applied to any treat given to friends, or gifts of money or sweets given to children.After one (or more!) St. Patrick’s Pots, the menfolk hurried home to the feast. Usually, the good wife would have ear-marked a nice piece of cured pork. Corned beef and cabbage? Not back then, and not even now is this a traditional St. Patrick’ s Day dinner! It’s a custom that was begun by emigrants who, in longing for their native land, tried to create a meal that would remind them of home. boiled bacon which was more like ham. This would be served with floury potatoes cooked in their jackets and cabbage. When dinner was over, many families either went to a caeli or held one in their homes. The musical instruments stored away on Shrove Tuesday were brought out and the evening was spent in singing, dancing, telling stories! At the end of the evening, there was one last custom to observe: ‘drowning the Shamrock.’ A leaf that had been worn in the cap or coat was placed into the bottom of the final glass. When everyone’s health had been drunk or a toast honored, the shamrock was taken from the bottom of the glass and thrown over the left shoulder. Also, in some parts of Southern Ireland, a cross was marked with the end of a burnt stick on the sleeve of each person at the gathering. This was done with a prayer that the individual so marked might be constant in their faith and in their love of Ireland’s patron saint. Until next time, Happy St. Patrick’s Day and a toast to you and yours: by Bridget Haggerty

St. Patrick was a gentleman Who through strategy and stealth Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Here’s a toasting to his health; But not too many toastings Lest you lose yourself and then Forget the good St. Patrick And see all those snakes again!

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China Buys Europe BRUSSELS - Belgium - In a last ditch effort to save the EU, China has stepped in with its vast cheque book and bought the whole lot. "Business is business, and when you have deals like this going, you're not going to stand around, are you?" Xin Xam Long, Chinese Finance Minister, told Xinhua news network. As portfolios go, owning the EU is one small step for the Chinese to owning the world. The Americans, who owe $4 trillion to China are also ripe for the picking, and if they don't pay back every cent, the Chinese will make them pay one way or another. “We have a huge army, almost three or four times the size of the US army. Oh, I hear you saying that we have inferior weapons compared to the hi tech stuff the US has, well, you're wrong. We have been spending the money we make on manufacturing cheap plastic junk to the West on upgrading weapons” a Chinese government spokesman said. As Nicolas Sarkozy was on bended knee yesterday begging Chinese premier, Hu Jintau, for assistance to the EU debt crisis, the Chinese knew that Chairman Mao would have approved highly of the situation and would have urged China to move with haste to procure the purchase of the EU lock stock and barrel. "In China, we have an old proverb: 'For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill' and so, the great cloak of our esteemed Chairman reaches over the European plains and takes everything he can. Remember, that what is happening now, was planned 40 years ago, and by the looks of it, it's all going exactly as it should," a Chinese politburo official told Chinese state television on Wednesday.

Two cows explanation of a Government

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You steal your neighbor’s bull and ignore the government. BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks theother, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The cows outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want. PACIFISM: you.

You have two cows. They stampede

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor. CONSERVATISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? SOCIAL DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous

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George and the Dragon Marriott Edgar 1880 - 1951

I'll tell you the tale of an old country pub

As fancied itself up to date, It had the word " Garage" wrote on t' stable door And a petrol pump outside the gate. The " George and the Dragon" were t' name of the pub, And it stood in a spot wild and bleak, Where nowt ever seemed to be passing that way Except Carrier's cart once a week.

The Carrier's cart were a sturdy old Ford And its driver were known as " Old Joe He had passed pub each week but he'd never been in, It's name even he didn't know. One cold winter night, about quarter to one, He were driving home over the moor, And had just reached the pub, when his engine stopped dead A thing it had ne'er done before. He lifted the bonnet and fiddled around And gave her a bit of a crank; When he looked at his petrol he found what were wrong, There wasn't a drop in the tank.

" You only come here when you re stuck." Said Joe, "Aye, I'll go if you'll sell me some fuel, "I can't start my engine without. "I'm willing to pay." but she told him to go Where he'd get his fuel for nowt. "Coom, coom, Lass!" said Joe, conci-latory like, "Let bygones be bygones, and when I come round next time I'll look in." She said, "Oh, Well, your petrol can wait until then." With these few remarks th' old girl took in her head And slammed winder to in his face; He took a look round and for t' very first time He noticed the name of the place. He picked up some pebbles he found in the road And tossed them against winder pane, And before very long lattice opened above And out came the old girl again. What d'ye want? " she enquired. And " Not you," Joe replied, For this treatment had fair raised his gorge "I see George and t' Dragon's the name on the house, "And I'd just like a word now with George."

He had eight miles to go and 'twere starting to rain, And he thought he were there for the night, Till he saw the word " Garage" wrote on t' stable door; Then he said, " Lizzie, Lass... we're all right." He went up to t' pub and he hammered at door Till a voice up above said " Hello!" It were t' Publican's Wife-she said, "Now what's to do?", "I've run out of petrol," said Joe. She said " Who are you? " He said " Carrier Joe." " Oh, so that's who it is," she replied You've been passing this door now for close on ten years And never once set foot inside." "A nice time of night to come knocking folks up, She continued. "Away with your truck, " You'd best get your petrol where you buy your beer...

14 email: info@theolivepress.eu â&#x2DC;ťTel: 977 457 201

ignored”. Using the phrase “Unfollow post” in mid egular users of the social networking site conversation just as the “Facebook” report that they are becoming so Groom's habituated to clicking on buttons labelled “Like” father was explaining the or “Comment” that they are now looking for them finer points of during their increasingly rare real life conversations his job as an actuary has with actual people. also ensured Self Confessed Facebook junkie Julie Brown that John will confessed that if someone says something not be invited funny at work she bellows “Like” across the to any future workplace. “It’s particularly embarrassing for family events. me because I work in a Library” she explained. John also Other avid Facebook users report having confessed accidently “Shared” a comment passed on that his to them by a friend, resulting in one man at attempts to a family wedding shouting to the rest of the send virtual, room “John via Brian, the and therefore Bridesmaid has a nice ass”, nonexistent, gifts to the bride and groom and and later passing on the virtual drinks to people who had included him web address of a Youtube in real rounds all night had gone awry, and that post showing a film of a cat by the end playing the piano. of the night As the evening wore on, he had been John’s request to “Poke” the “unfriended” bridesmaid was rebuffed by a few with a sharp slap on the face. people. “That doesn’t usually happen “I had hoped online” said a red cheeked to pick up John, “The worst that can a few more happen is that you get friends by carrying around a large display board covered with photos of  people I know, and suggesting to people that they had a    mutual friend with one or other of them, but mostly people just said I was either  ‘sad’ or ‘gone wrong’”.  Help is at hand for sufferers of Facebook Syndrome, as they have recently formed a group  on Facebook where they  can discuss their problems and provide mutual support.  Both John and Julie have  both recently changed their relationship status to “In a  relationship”, although they  admit that they have never met each other and like it that  way.  



A. M. P. A. R. E. The society for the protection of animals Ebro region. Based in Mora La Nova. We desperately need to re-home dogs to make room for more! We have over 200 dogs for adoption. Wendy 637 981158 English Isabel 977 404720 Spanish/ Catalan Donations always appreciated.

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Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional

Mongrel Cross Breed Reference

Christmas pet Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog prone to awful mistakes Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by….oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end Cocker Spaniel + Rottweiller = Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed

ite” N “ hip C & Fish araoke K riday dF Goo

Back by popular demand B A R E S T A C I O N ‘R a Bar Restaurant Cafe L’Ampolla ce Night’ Placa Francesc Macia 1, 43895 L’Ampolla call for details EASTER

(near the railway station)

Tel : 977 460 387

Menu del dia Tapas Sunday Lunch Daily specials

Mothers Day 18th March bookings being taken now

Showing Sky Sports Football, Rugby and all major sporting events

In the spring, as the days became longer, the lamps were not needed and were ceremoniously burnt at the workshop door. To this small fire the craftsmen added off-cuts, wood shavings and leftovers from around the neighbourhood. The old lamp was placed in a vertical position in the centre, decorated with old rags and a hat, giving it a human form - the Ninot / Falla On the 1st of March, the first of the mascletas (an explosion of firecrackers) in the square in front of the City Hall announces the start of the festival period, although the most important events begin on the 16th, by which time the city has been decorated with over 700 symbols and figures. Throughout the day, mass gatherings take place including the despertas (a firecracker wake-up call to the neighbourhood) and magnificent firework displays. The biggest and most spectacular event is the Ofrenda de Flores a la Virgen de los Desamparados (a floral offering to our Lady of the Forsaken): On the 17th and 18th of March, from 4pm until nightfall, there is an enormous multi-coloured parade; with the members of the Fallas wearing their marvellous, intricately decorated, traditional costumes and carrying bunches of flowers as an offering to their Patron Saint. At midnight on the 19th, the dramatic closing act takes place. A massive bonfire is built and the ninots, so carefully prepared in the previous months are set ablaze and destroyed: all except one, saved by the votes of the falleros, and destined to be preserved forever in the Fallero Museum. The evolution of the festival as we know it today began in the second half of the 19th century. The fallas and ninots are ephemeral, ornamental and satirical symbols placed in the streets of the city as a humorous social or political comment. They may be human, animal or vegetable in form, portraying a critique of a local, national or international incident, personality or character. There is great irony involved and the ceremonial burning is an act of purification that takes place at midnight on el DĂa de San Jose (St Josephâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day).

MySpanishome We are looking for properties in any AREA. So if you have a property to sell please contact: 977 446 655 +34 639 041 277 mobile Stephanie +34 679 499 316 mobile Steve Av. Generalitat 70, 43500, Tortosa, Tarragona, email: info@myspanishome.com www.myspanishome.com

Health self-help tool kit Sharing one patient's experience after finishing 10 weeks of treatment recently after 15 years of chronic daily pain, a reminder that this new year of the water dragon brings the breezes of fresh energies available when we take the time to align ourselves with what is needed and listen to our bodies. Thanks to you for your story. Taru ''I went for treatment for several different problems, originally for massage for active back pain, then with the good situation I found the way to trust and opened myself to tell about very personal things, the digestive problems I have been having every day for 15years, diarrhea & stomach pains. Because I could have treatment in several different ways, massage, acupuncture, & including the reiki healing towards the end of our sessions, it gives me so much positive energy that I can handle the aching better and the aching is less and less in just 10 weeks. The energy work is so successful that l almost forget the active pain during the week & as I feel in such a good mood the pain gets less and less. It's like a ball, a circle, each helps the other. Because the right points are always being stimulated through the treatments they have no chance, they have to change for the better. At first with the stomach problems it took some weeks. The bloated feeling of air went first, I stopped feeling like I was pregnant all the time, then each week more and more benefit. I think it's worth trying other routes apart from only the regular medical services with something like Crohn's disease. I tried kinesiology before. I never went the medical surgery route offered as I think that with that stomach Crohn's pain it's also affected by your psychological state. If you calm down inside and have more good energy, not all that nervousness inside, less fear, then it helps and no surgery can help in that way.

These things work when you find the right person to work with the right understanding, with the right vibes.'' Thanks again. Taru Burstall, Licensed in Acupuncture, Family Therapy, Pyschotherapy, Diploma in Therapeutic Massage. Racó de Salut Natural Therapies Centre, Plaça Jaume II, 8, El Perelló, Baix Ebre, 977490333, 629301509,racodesalut@gmail.com, wwwracodesalut.com

Red wine’s health secrets unveiled Scientists believe they have unveiled the way in which a chemical found in red wine can help keep people healthy. It was already known that resveratrol, a chemical found naturally in plant products including red wine, can prolong lifespan and imitate the effects of a low-calorie diet. It boosts energy in cells which provide health benefits. Now researchers believe they have unlocked the secret by discovering that resveratrol works by tricking the cell into the idea that it is deprived of energy which causes the cell to increase production of energy-producing proteins. The discovery could lead to new treatments for conditions like Alzheimer's, heart disease and diabetes either using resveratrol or stronger agents which work in the same way. Unfortunately, simply drinking the stuff is not sufficient. According to one authority, you would need to drink about 13 bottles a night to get a meaningful dose. But potent drugs could be now developed to mimic the effect of the chemical. Resveratrol is also found in grapes, mulberries and peanuts. As well as lowering the metabolism – meaning the body needs less food to generate enough energy – it can reduce levels of liver fat, blood pressure and blood sugar. The compound also improves the rate at which the muscles burn fat, lessens insulin resistance and could protect against certain agerelated diseases like Type 2 diabetes and cancer, experts said.

Men Facts Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers? A. They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don’t work. Q. How do men define a “50/50″ relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A. Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals.” Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? A. All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man’s penis? A. His body. Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure. Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. Q. What do men and mascara have in common? A. They both run at the first sign of emotion. Q. What do you instantly know about a welldressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes. Q. What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening? A. Sex. Q. What’s a man’s idea of honestly in a relationship? A. Telling you his real name. Q. What’s the smartest thing a man can say? A. “My wife says…” Q. Why can’t men get mad cow disease? A. Because they’re all pigs. Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don’t like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions. Q. Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means one-half hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' -- that will bring on a 'whatever'.) 8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying xxYOU! 9. Don't worry about it, I've got it: Another dangerous statement , meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response, refer to # 3.

IRISH SPICED BEEF Ingredients for making Irish Spiced Beef 4 lb rolled salted silverside 1 onion, peeled and sliced

1 small turnip, peeled and sliced 3 carrots, peeled and sliced 1 bay leaf 12 cloves 2 oz soft brown sugar Juice of 1 lemon ½ teaspoon each of ground cinnamon, allspice and nutmeg 1 level teaspoon mustard powder

How to make Irish Spiced Beef

Soak the meat overnight in cold water. Next day, rinse well and tie up with kitchen string to form a firm, neat joint. Put the onion, turnip and carrot in a large saucepan, place the meat on top, add the bay leaf then cover with cold water. Bring to the boil, skim then cover and simmer gently for 3 ½ to 4 hours. Leave to cool completely in the liquid. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Drain the meat very well, place in a roasting tin and stick with the cloves. Mix together the remaining ingredients and spread over the meat. Bake for 40 minutes, basting from time to time. Remove the string. Serve hot or cold. Serves 4-6

The Most Dangerous Cake Recipe 5 minute chocolate mug cake Ingredients

4 tablespoons flour 4 tablespoons sugar 2 tablespoons cocoa 1 egg 3 tablespoons milk 3 tablespoons oil 3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional) a small splash of vanilla extract 1 large coffee mug

How to make the chocolate cake

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well, add the egg and mix thoroughly Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..add the chocolate chips if using and vanilla extract, and mix again Put the mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000watts high… The cake will rise over the top of the mug but don’t be alarmed Allow to cool a little and tip out onto a plate if desired Eat, this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world Because we are now only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night.

Thanks to Maurice for this delicious recipe

Castellon airport in the east of Spain opened in March 2011 but it failed to merit a licence to operate. It had cost about â&#x201A;Ź150m to build. Now the national air security authorities have decreed that the main runway is too narrow for airplanes to turn around. The respected El Pais newspaper reported that regional officials knew early on that the airstrip did not meet regulations, but kept quiet about it. The empty airport has been criticised widely in Spain for mismanagement. Last month, El Pais reported that around â&#x201A;Ź30m had been spent in advertising the airport even though it offered no flights. The airport sponsored a first division football club. And after being abandoned, a 25 metre metal sculpture was erected just last month in front of it to honour the official who masterminded the airport project even though he was involved in a tax fraud and bribery investigation. The private contractor hired to run the airport for 50 years is demanding that the regional government of Valencia reimburse â&#x201A;Ź80 million for cancelling its contract. Hopes were being pinned on the airport being able to open up more of the eastern coast to tourism, but the region is already well served by the busy international airports of Valencia, Alicante and Barcelona. A recent study showed that of the 48 regional commercial airports built in Spain over the last 20 years, only 11 make a profit.

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The role of the lawyer in the sale of property Carlos Prieto Cid â&#x20AC;&#x201C; LAWYER

n the glorious years of the housing bubble, when everything was easily bought, lawyers played an essential role in advising buyers to purchase property with all guarantees. Now that everything is being sold, our role is still essential to prevent a sale from being frustrated by legal reasons.

n ordinary person takes only very few times during his life the decision to buy or sell a property. However, there seems to be no awareness in the society that, before making this fundamental decision is wise to consult with an attorney. All the contrary, the general idea is that one should only go to a lawyer to solve legal problems and not, as it should be, to try to avoid them. That is why we lawyers often find customers that come to our office once they have already signed a contract, thinking that with a magic wand we can resolve a problematic situation, which would never have happened if they had consulted us on time.

mong the professionals involved in the decision making of a real estate purchase contract, the lawyer is the only one who can give advice with the warranty that this is only his role and that is why he gets paid, with the absolute independence of the one who knows that is going to collect his fees whether the operation is performed or not. In short, the lawyer is the only professional who can calmly tell his customer: do not sign! Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why taking advice from a lawyer before signing a contract for purchase and sale of real estate is essential and the sooner you come to him, the better.

n real estate market intermediaries tend to avoid the intervention of lawyers, because they think it increases the costs of the transaction and therefore it reduces their room for maneuver. But the reality is quite the opposite: the costs of our intervention are very profitable. We can actually give many examples of real estate transactions that would have failed if there had not been an immediate intervention of lawyers. The most common problems that we solve are:

ares have long been thought to behave excitedly in March, which is their mating season. Lewis Carroll is among many who have used that in stories - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: The March Hare ... as this is May, it won't be raving mad - at least not so mad as it was in March. More recently this behaviour has been questioned and it is now thought that hares behave oddly - boxing, jumping etc. - throughout their breeding season, which extends over several months. Be that as it may; hares, especially March hares, have that reputation, which will surely stay with them. The first record of the belief in their madness, or in this case their brainlessness, was circa 1500, in Blowbol's Test reprinted by W. C. Hazlitt in Remains Early Popular Poetry of England, 1864: Thanne [th]ey begyn to swere and to stare, And be as braynles as a Marshe hare. Of course, the phrase 'hare brained' refers to the same behaviour. This is also old and is referenced in Edward Hall's Chronicle, 1548: My desire is that none of you be so unadvised or harebrained as to be the occasion that ...The first citation that uses the phrase in a form we now know it is in 1529, in Sir Thomas More's The supplycacyon of soulys: As mad not as a march hare, but as a madde dogge. The phrase has been in continuous use in the language since the 16th century. It was well-enough established by 1546 for John Heywood to include it in his collection - A dialogue conteinyng the nomber in effect of all the prouerbes in the Englishe tongue.

• problems with the matrimonial regime applicable • a necessary formalization of an acceptance of inheritance, • buildings awaiting a declaration of new construction (even if they have been legal built, but not registered) • fiscal and money laundering control problems specific to non-resident sellers or non-resident buyers, • special powers necessary to formalize the operation, when the contract parties cannot be present at the formalization of the purchase contract…

ut the range of possibilities is enormous and each of these issues can cripple sales management until making it impossible, especially at the present time, because of the lack of buyers and the oversupply of housing available to the market. Furthermore, experience in international operations with nonresident buyers or nonresident sellers is at the moment crucial, as the

housing market mainly offers its stock to potential foreign buyers from countries increasing their capacity and interest in purchasing property in Spain (Russians, Swiss, Indian, Chinese, etc.)…

he failure of a real estate transaction means for the real estate brokers involved an effective cost in time, dedication, displacements and risk analysis, and these costs have no compensation if the operation is not actually performed. The causes of such a failure are often legal issues that only an attorney skilled in the art would have foreseen early enough to provide possible solutions and avoid the loss of the buyer. Or, if not feasible any of the proposed solutions, the lawyer could advise to abandon the operation on time, before incurring further unnecessary costs. Working with real estate agents or other intermediaries in the housing market is an important opportunity for business and the synergies it generates are very helpful both for lawyers and for the agencies involved, providing their common customer the benefit to be able to buy or to sell with guarantees and to mature his decision with all the necessary information.

FRUIT TREES CAN FLORISH IN SPAIN By Clodagh and Dick Handscombe productive gardeners, authors and broadcasters gardening in Spain for over twenty years. Their books include ‘Growing Healthy Fruit in Spain –From strawberries to oranges and water melons’..

Spain is a fantastic place to grow your own fruit. Both coastal and in land climates are suitable for growing a wide range of fruit and it is possible by careful selection to harvest one or more fruits on every day of the year – even from apartment terraces. Indeed some of the easiest fruits to grow can be grown in various types of containers. For instance strawberries in a strawberry barrel or window box, a grape vine in a tub trailing along a balustrade or supported on an end wall and a perpetual flowering/fruiting Lunar lemon and early season white fleshed peach tree in large pots. With the latter not only do you get the benefit of picking perfectly ripe tasty juicy peaches for immediate eating but also the early blossom. Our tree in a tub started to flower in the middle of January while the almond blossom in the garden below was still out. With a garden one can obviously expand and plant fruit trees in containers on terraces, trained on walls or as spring flowering/summer or autumn fruiting trees anywhere in the flower beds. Naturally if you have a large property one can develop a dedicated orchard. So much is possible but there are a number of important success factors each covered in detail in our book.

Firstly do plant fruits that you like. Over seventy are described in the book including tropical/subtropical fruits for frost free areas of the coastal plain and temperate types that need inland frosts to fruit well. The former include citrus fruits, mangoes and avocados and the latter cherry and pear trees. Secondly select strong plants and if oranges or mandarins check out when they will be ready to harvest. In both cases there are early , mid season and late season varieties to chose from – some ripening in October and others as late as early June. We list some of the most popular varieties in the book. Thirdly prepare the ground and planting holes in advance and ensure that the young root ball is spread out when planting. If not strangled roots can develop that result in stunted poorly fruiting trees. Fourthly spray with ecological insecticides and fungicides to ensure that there are no residual chemicals on or in the skins and also that the garden is save even when spraying for the family, pets and wildlife. Our favourites are neem based insecticides and propolis as a fungicide.

Sorry space has run out to say more but the book ‘Growing Healthy Fruit in Spain’ is comprehensive. If you purchase it via www. gardeninginspain.com you will receive a complementary copy of ‘Living Well from Our Mediterranean Garden’

cientists in Southern California believe they have identified the Gene (Of Spanish Origin) that makes normal human beings who are relaxed and at peace with their fellow man one minute….. Who upon donning a uniform…sometimes it takes only an Identity badge…have an all consuming desire to tell people to stop so they are able to tell them to start again… A Spokesman for the Laboratory informed us that In extreme cases it can get out of hand…take for example the case of Jose Perez who in 2005 took up the post of “People Director” at Girona Bus Station. He was issued with the standard yellow polo shirt and matching baseball cap…but in weeks had “improved” his uniform to resemble that of the Shah Of Iran.At the peak of his power before being sedated he was stopping over 5000 people a day and then starting them again.

Catalonia property news round-up

Five-step plan to help sell your property in 2012 Hello again and salutacions to everyone. Hopefully, by the time you read this the cold snap will have passed, the almond trees will be in blossom, and I will be doing viewings without an icy wind and sheets of ice on the pool!

If you own a rural property, you’ll need to know if and how the house is registered at the Registro de la Propiedad —the Land Registry— and on the Catastro, the Spanish tax office’s property register. If it isn’t, you will need to know what the registration options are and what is needed. If it is, you’ll need to know if you’ll require a cédula de habitabilidad (habitation certificate) in order to sell. All these factors directly affect how much you can ask for your finca. Registration can take months, so get everything checked early on — few things are as frustrating as losing or delaying a sale because your documentation wasn’t in order.

At the moment, we’re still seeing healthy interest from buyers from Holland, Switzerland, France and Belgium, while UK buyers are making a tentative comeback, encouraged by an improved exchange rate. Needless to say, with so Decluttered: super duplex in many homes in Spain for l’Ampolla, great sea views sale and more coming on 3. Set a realistic asking the market every week, price anyone looking is spoilt for choice. Gone are the Prices are still falling, so ask your agent for a ‘nodays when buyers would hesitate before making punches-pulled’ opinion of how much your property an ultra-low offer, so make the most of your is really likely to sell for. property and don’t give away excuses for buyers It’s hard to stress the importance of getting to negotiate price reductions. the asking price right from the start. In my Remember, correct preparation is essential, so experience, gradually lowering a price that is way the sooner you get started the better. too high is counter-productive and can lead to a property becoming ‘over-exposed’. 1. Choose the right agency Choose an agent that speaks at least Spanish 4. Prepare your property for sale and English, with experience in selling to both Unless you are selling an un-refurbished property, markets, and who can issue valid IVA (VAT) it’s reasonable for a buyer to expect that a invoices to help reduce capital gains tax. He or property will be sold with everything working and she should also be able to clearly identify most in good order. legal or planning issues that could complicate a Savvy buyers have surveys organised and sale. carefully inspect and list any work needed before the deposit contract stage, making the repairs a 2. Get documentation in order condition for the completion of sale. Buyers are now better informed than ever. But most don’t, so avoid problems by having Most non-Spanish purchasers instruct a lawyer repairs done and inform your agent of any known and Spanish buyers will have their bank check or suspected defects. documentation, so it is vital that your property’s Rural access tracks can be a deal breaker —many documentation is in order. buyers plan to use rural properties as holiday

28 email: info@theolivepress.eu ☻Tel: 977 457 201

cédula certificate for rural properties could soon get a little easier. The law is due to be modified to allow a simpler municipal certificate – an essential requirement for the cédula. While it is likely to be approved by the Catalan 5. Maximise your parliament soon, this property’s appeal still hasn’t happened… First impressions Will keep you posted. count. Entrances, Finally, right now I drives, facades and have buyers looking the area around the for fincas with house are the first habitable houses, thing prospective preferably with nice buyers see, so they views and priced below must be neat and well Well-presented entrance: finca, 160.000 Euros, in the presented. A freshly mains services, 15 min beach l’Ametlla-El Perellópainted façade and front l’Ampolla area. Feel door or a smart ceramic plant pot can make a huge free to email me at jeff@fincasdirect.com. difference. Jeff Greensmith runs www.fincasdirect.com and Inside, repaint walls and ceilings in light, neutral is a registered estate agent and experienced colours if they aren’t already. If you can’t Spanish/Catalan translator and interpreter. He redecorate throughout, at least repair any has lived in Catalonia since 1986. paintwork that’s flaking or in poor condition, While the points contained in this article are true especially anything that could appear to be dampto best of our knowledge, they do not constitute related. legal advice on the part of Fincas Direct or The Solar/generator-powered country properties are Olive Press. Please use this information responsibly and seek professional legal advice if in doubt. often dimly lit, which often puts off buyers so consider updating light fittings. And when you have a viewing, remember to turn all lights on and open the blinds before buyers arrive. Clear mantelpieces, windowsills, dressers and tables of unnecessary clutter. This can make rooms look bigger and focuses attention on your house, not your possessions. If possible, clear spare rooms of junk or at least put all the junk in one room. And it sounds obvious, but dirty windows, dusty furniture, stale smells etc are a total turn-off for potential buyers. Get everything clean and sparkling, air your home before a viewing, and be sure to get rid of pet odours. On the outside, be sure to keep the pool area, terrace and porch —the key ‘life style’ areas— well-maintained, smart and tidy. homes and/or tourist rentals— so consider improving them if necessary. It’s important to avoid spending too much money though, so ask your agent what’s worth doing, and keep it simple.

Cédula changes: no news In a previous article I wrote that getting the

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CIENTISTS have discovered a wonder drug that increases women’s appetite for sexual intimacy and Kebabs.

The magic liquid has so far been tested mainly on hen parties and teenage girls but in both cases they exhibited more mating behaviour and a fondness for questionable “middle eastern” food.

Professor Angus MacDonald, of Glasgow’s Clyde University medical school, said women who had not taken the drug showed a complete aversion to kebabs, or sex with random men. However, after ingesting the wonder substance most would happily munch their way through a large doner undisturbed while the nearest male went about his business. Prof McDonald said: “It is truly amazing, boring badly dressed men with terrible chat-up lines appear transformed” The professor said the amazing discovery was made purely by accident while his department was on the office Christmas Party. “At the start of the night we were all involved in a deep and serious conversation about medical ethics”. “We all had a few beers and the next thing I knew I woke up in bed with my assistant Lucy lying next to me wearing nothing but my posing pouch and a kebab up her nose” The Professor said he was convinced the amazing drug was contained within the beer and wine that had been consumed the previous night.

masquerading as the top civil servants, admitted that they are struggling to cope with the workload. At their annual seminar near Paris, senior Strasbrusser executives bemoaned the increasing pressure they are under to keep the EU in check.

‘Nowadays diverting the Europeans attention from the fact that they’re

being ruled by giant lizards isn’t easy – what with Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece and Spain all wanting handouts, how can we send money back home” “Things were much simpler back in the good old days before whistle blowers and do-gooders started sticking their human noses into our wine lakes and butter mountains” “We thought we were on to a lifelong gravy train” said head lizard Barroso. “We believed we had made it confusing enough with a government moving from place to place speaking 23 separate languages, an expenses system that keeps half of Belgium employed and more tiers than a Chinese Brothel.” But we have run out of ideas so it is back to the planet Zorg for us….

His team are now setting out to isolate the substance with a view to getting it manufactured on a Commercial basis.

The world of the conspiracy theorist is abuzz today, after the Strasbrussers, a race of reptilian aliens that have been secretly ruling the EU by

30 email: info@theolivepress.eu ☻Tel: 977 457 201

The UK has pledged to reduce emissions and this has caused it to expand wind farm development But opposition to the turbines appears to be growing, and now some MPs have formed a new All Party Parliamentary Group to block progress. According to the Conservative MP who set up the group, wind turbines are an inefficient technology and the â&#x20AC;&#x153;wrong renewable energy for the UKâ&#x20AC;? as well as being more expensive for consumers.

A number of MPs in the UK have banded together to fight against new wind farm installations. Currently there are some 3,000 onshore wind turbines in the country along with a few hundred others off the coast of Britain. Although so far they generate only about two per cent of the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s energy and produce power only about 30% of the time, the government under Energy Secretary Chris Huhne wants to see up t0 32,000 new turbines installed over the coming 20 years, of which 6,000 would be in the sea. When there is no wind, or conversely when the wind is too strong, it is usually coal or gas which is relied upon for electricity.

A study in the Netherlands recently found that turning back-up gas power stations on and off to cover spells when there is little wind actually produces more carbon than a steady supply of energy from an efficient modern gas station

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spanglish?-answers next month 1.

16.

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10. 11.

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spanglish?-February answers

How to Solve Sudoku Puzzles Sudoku doesn't require any special math skills or calculations. It is a simple and fun game of logic -- all that's needed is brains and concentration. 1. Fill the grid so that the numbers 1 through 9 appear in each row. 2. Fill the grid so that the numbers 1 through 9 appear in each column. 3. Fill the grid so that the numbers 1 through 9 appear in each 3x3 box. 4. A complete Sudoku puzzle contains the numbers 1 through 9 in every row, column, and 3x3 box. This month, one thats medium. good luck

32 email: info@theolivepress.eu â&#x2DC;ťTel: 977 457 201

What's on CAR BOOT | last Sunday of every month 10am-1pm. stalls 5€. Refreshments, Camping St Jordi, Platje Ayellanes, L'AmpollaTel 679 115 247 CAR BOOT SALE | 2nd & 4th Sunday of every month. Situated Hipaca Escornalbou, Vilanova D'Escornalbou. Arrive 9am starts 10am. Bar & restaurant- no fresh produce allowed! Contacts: Cosme on 620215772 or Silvia 665159781 CAR BOOT SALE | first and third Sunday every month C/ Garcia Restaurant Braseria Can Palomo MORA LA NOVA.Tel Jackie 679741254 DELTA CLASSICS-CLASSIC CAR MEETING 1st FRIDAY of every month 6PM Bar "Casals" Avda San Jordi, El Perelló. Call for more details and events: 678 718 446.

C/Paisos Catalans, 74, L’Ametlla de Mar. More information? Either tel: 977267418 or e-mail: iesglametlla@gmail.com. PHOENIX GROUP set up for women by women to offer friendship, support and practical help. Meetings every second Tuesday of each month @ Bar Calxic (opposite Cinema Victoria), El Perelló @ 11.00 am. All welcome. Contact Marge on 977 267 779 or 689 608 611 LINE DANCING Join us for a morning's Line dancing. Just bring a drink and a smile. Mondays 10.00am-12.00pm at the School of Music in El Perelló. First 1/2 hour dedicated to beginners. Good exercise for the legs and jaws! More details from Irene 630 115 006 or Jo-Ann 634 495 572. Would you like to know more Spanish people? Participate in groups to speak English and Spanish Working for mutual improvement, Please contact mapefor28@gmail.com or Phone 652 032 025.

EL PERELLO FREESIA GROUP (working for cancer charities) The next El Perello Bookstall will be held at the Homogenic bar 10am until 1pm on: Saturday 10th and 24th of March. Please note if the weather is bad the bookstall may not be held. EL PERELLO FREESIA GROUP AGM Our AGM and lunch will be held on Wednesday 21st March at restaurant Pla De Rocha cost will be €13 per person. Please phone Janet on 977091062 or 608610589 for further details and to book your place. IESG-INTERNATIONAL ENGLISH SPEAKING GROUP Meetings are held at 6.30 pm on the second Thursday of each month (except for August) at:- Edificio Bahia Blanca,

CAR BOOT SALES / MERCADILLO Every Sunday 12pm till 6pm Furniture - fridges - cookers - pictures - pots, pans & old tin cans - you name it and we will get it.

Car Park Free, to Look Free and Stalls 5 EUROS! no food or drinks without permission

At Mora Caravans C12, km 61 Mora La Nova to Ginestar road Call Ken or Bev on 977 400 375 or 659 418 317 or 660 584 222

NOTE to Buyers & Sellers We at Mora Caravans have the right to refuse entry.

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personal classifieds

GENERAL FOR SALE Motor Morini, boys motor cross bike 80cc good working BOSCH BLACK HALOGEN HOB 4 RING STANDARD SIZE -

order, starts well runns well 200 euros call 658 364 299

ONLY 50 EUROS...CONTACT ANGELA 686011620 Pasquali diesel tractor. model 986 in excellent clean PORTABLE ELECTRIC HEATER/AIR CONDITIONER - 3

working condition, with no faults what so ever. Comes

FAN SETTINGS - VERY EFFICIENT - (575 EUROS NEW

complete with plough, and cultivator, 2,000 Euros, No

2 YEARS AGO) - ONLY 200 EUROS...CONTACT ANGELA

Offers, Cost nothing to look, call 658 364 299

686011620 Diesel wacker plate/compactor. 2ft by 18in size. call 658 "Electric fence unit with battery and solar panel built in comes

364 299

with over 200 mtrs of posts and tape. Perfect working order New still boxed electric gate opener SL1 and slider 300€,

250 euro... 666 956 917"

Rifle scope gamosporter 4 x 32 40€, Uwatec Digital PHOENIX MULTI C, INVERTER-CHARGER, NEARLY NEW,

electronic diving depth timer 330m 50€,...Phone Sally on

12 VOLT-800 WATT-35 AMP CHARGER, 499 EUROS O.N.O

681 005 363.

TEL 689918301 Antique

furniture

oak

35euros,marble-topped

free

washstand

standing

wardrobe

35e,oak

corner

ANIMALS

GOOD HOME WANTED | for 3 medium sized loving dogs,18 months old. Mob 626 857 963

cabinet 30e,bow-fronted cocktail cabinet 35e. + more, 977477092,639545348,610610215

WANTED YOUR UNWANTED BIRDS budgies parrots etc will be given a good home tel 686299730

"126 paperbacks for sale. Assorted authors. Call for info. 100 Euros, Gandesa area. 676 276 302

DOGS TO GOOD HOMES...Chico is 1 1/2 and his son, Bruce, is 7 months.

Both are good guard dogs and well

VALIANT V400 RIB BOAT WITH HONDA OUTBOARD

tempered7intelligent. they are both Catalan sheepdogs. chico

ENGINE, EXCELLENT CONDITION 4000 EUROS . TEL

has been castrated. They get along very well but we would

977493661 or 690029053

separate them to the right homes. If people would like to telephone me, I can email photos etc. Tel 649429056

36 x 12 mobile home 3 bedrooms with 1 ensuite shower

WANTED

and wc, a seperate shower and wc, air conditioning, in excellent condition, sleeps 8 , 6500 euros. tel: 676185395 Honda generator 5 KVA petrol in frame with wheels excellent condition 495 euros or near offer.Other KVAs electric start generators secondhand,solar panel 12 and 24 volt made to measure supplied at trade prices.

WANTED VOLUNTEERS | help needed to look after the abandon dogs at ARCA near Tortosa. Please call Mave 678 975 816 if you can offer any assistance. Plus anyone interested in organising some fund raising for the dogs would be must appreciated. PLEASE HELP

Telephone Bill 690277998

SERVICES

Generator Pramac P6000 , Yanmar engine , 6 KVA, Low Hours , EUR1400 no offers , Tel : 671808096

Large Van Service UK-Spain, Computer problems rectified, DVD and photo negatives to digital, Agents for ALERT

Lombardini 6 kva diesel generator, electric start. Excellent

PAL Alarm Cameras, Translations Catalan, Spanish and

condition, little use. 1000 euros phone 677 092 750

English. 977 477 367 www.alexanderpearson.tk

34 email: info@theolivepress.eu ☻Tel: 977 457 201

Satellite

TV,

Installs,

Repairs,

Dishes

Re-aligned,

Channel Loss Cured, All Problems Solved, Contact Joe 681 133 119 ENGLISH MECHANIC - Basic servicing, maintenance and repairs. Tel: 977 407 990. mob. 699 396 053

TVR CHIMEARA 450 RHD 1997 UK REGISTERED REQUIRES CAMSHAFT AND A BIT OF TLC NICE RESTORATION PROJECT 4000€ PHONE ….977 457 201 FOR MORE INFO

GENERAL BUILDER | Over 25 years experience. Registered legal builder in Catalunya over 5 years. Bricklaying,

plastering,

tiling,

plumbing,

electrics,

roofing etc. Tel. Jonathan 699 396 053

CONCRETE PAVING SLABS FOR SALE | different designs, sizes and colours. Please ring for a competitive quote. Delivery service available. Also slab laying on request. Tel. 692 751 488 or 692 759 276. CAR BODY REPAIRS AND REPAINTING | all aspects of vehicle preparation and spraying. 20 years experience, references available. Competitive prices. Tel. 692 751 488 or 692 759 276.

VAN SPAIN-UK-SPAIN Van going to UK and returning first week of April. All shopping done at very competitive rates Asda, Tesco, Screw Fix, what ever you want I can shop for you and deliver back to Spain. Contact Les on 629 010 529 or lesvalblf@gmail.com

FUN IN THE SUN| BE-UP CONVERTIBLE. Sought after limited edition buggy. Spanish registered. very low mileage REDUCED for quick sale ONLY 2500€. MIGHT CONSIDER PART EXCHANGE WELCOME ALL ITEMS CONSIDERED. For more information telephone 977 059 420 OR 660 823 423

FLOOR AND WALL TILER Domestic or Commercial References available. Call Mark 686 069 923 Relax with a massage in your own home for male/female by male,discreet all times, e-mail provements@yahoo. co.uk or phone/text 634065544 for info/price

MOTORS RENAULT EXPRESS, COMBI, Aug:2000, 1.9 diesel Tow bar, I.T.V. 2012, 121000 Km 1500.00 euros o.n.o. or part e/x for r.h.d. Tel: Paul 690805947 Jeep Cherokee 2.5TD 1998 LHD Spanish I.T.V 2500EUR... Freelander

SoftTop

UK-RHD

Spares

repairs

(Turbo Gone) New Tyres & New Softback Hood 550E M-647136336

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UK registered cars in Spain EU law states that all vehicles in Europe being used on public roads in any EU member state country must remain fully road legal in the country of registration. Spanish law states that when you bring a UK registered car to Spain it can remain on UK plates for up to 182 days i.e. six months. During that time it must remain fully road legal. That means that it must display a current valid tax disc from the UK and have a current MOT from the UK. n.b. a voluntary Spanish ITV on a UK registered car is worthless and has no legal validity whatsoever. This is because a certificate of roadworthiness is only valid when it is issued in the country of registration. The reason the six month period is given is to allow the owner the time to re-register their car with Spanish plates so that they can pay the road fund license fee to their local town hall and also to obtain a valid certificate of roadworthiness. If your UK tax has expired and you are not yet paying Spanish road tax then your car is not licensed for use on public roads in either country. If your UK MOT has expired then your insurance cover could be affected on the grounds that you are knowingly using a private vehicle on public roads with no valid certificate of roadworthiness. The police in Spain have the power to impound unlicensed cars. In certain areas such as Malaga, Alicante, Sitges, Castelldefels and Barcelona the police have recently been targeting local schools at 8.30 am. The assumption is that if you are dropping your children off to school then you can’t possibly be on a two week holiday. They will look for UK registered cars which have exceeded the six month rule and are still not on Spanish plates. They usually give a verbal warning and a 250 euro fine but there have also been cases where they have had the vehicle taken directly to the impound lot. To have a car released from the impound lot is very expensive and the owner must also demonstrate that they have started the reregistration process.

The solution is, of course, is to re-register your car with Spanish national plates.

www.carimportspain.com

NEW BUILDS

REFORMS

EXTENSIONS

Williams Construction REGISTERED SPANISH BUILDER - NIE PROVIDED

Tel: (+34) 616 135 036 APDO 274, L’Ametlla de Mar

MOBILE HOMES FROM 800 EUROS. Mobiles on campsites from 11000€. Want to sell your mobile? Contact Shaun 629 743 327. info@icasl.net www.icasl.net

Country Home For Sale in Los Barrios, Cadiz Spain 750,000€+OFFERS. Unbelievable value has good holiday rental business with a separate cottage and apartment as well as an outstanding family home . Reduced by 400,000 euros for quick sale because of family health problems. Country house situated on a private estate in a nature reserve, only 20 minutes from Sotogrande Polo fields and Va l d e r a m m a and San Roques Golf courses. ENQUIRIES : 956 236 068 or 657 629 118 or email : info@theolivepress.eu

business card directory All entries are also listed on our directory online at www.theolivepress.eu. The Olive Press does not accept responsibility for the contents of the articles supplied by contributors nor for the claims made by advertisers PLEASE MENTION THE OLIVE PRESS WHEN CONTACTING ADVERTISERS

business card directory

Instructor

Olivia Snaith

zumba.com

L'Ampolla Church Hall Thursday 11am tel: 642 913 047 olivia_j_snaith@live.co.uk

ZIN_MM_1side_bizcard.indd 1

7/27/10 12:17 PM

you relax...

ARCA the dog refuge wish to give sincere thanks to everyone for supporting them. Please keep it up it is truly appreciated. Calenders and t-shirts are also for sale to raise funds for the dogs- www.

protectoraarca.org or email: protectora.arca@ wanadoo.es

All entries are also listed on our directory online at www.theolivepress.eu. The Olive Press does not accept responsibility for the contents of the articles supplied by contributors nor for the claims made by advertisers PLEASE MENTION THE OLIVE PRESS WHEN CONTACTING ADVERTISERS

FOR SALE, 2 plots of land l'Ametlla de Mar excellent situation and access just off the N340 going

into the village of L'Ametlla. Clean flat land with olive trees and carobs. Adjacent properties have mains electric and mains water. Sea and mountain views Totally fenced in, just 2km from L'Ametlla de Mar. Plot 1 approx 6600 m2 only 39,500 euros Plot 2 approx 4500 m2 only 34,500 euros. Call to view or more details: 977 059 420 or 660 823 423

MySpanishome Your English Estate Agents In Tortosa Fully Registered

www.myspanishome.com M1244 - Bitem - 168m² Country House – Magnificent Mountain Views - With Cedulla D'Habitabilitat! On two floors with large terrace! Bedrooms 4 Bathrooms 2 Lounge, kitchen/ diner Summer kitchen, Swimming pool Plot of aprox 13000m² Furniture included! Price: 235.000€

M1253 - Roquetes - Villa 244m² - Exceptional! Roquetes Unique opportunity! On two floors 5 bedrooms – 2 bathrooms – 9000m² fenced plot. stable block of 4 - store houses - menage - paddock bbq - swimming pool - 2 x garages. 5 mins from town. With Cedula D’Habitabilitat Price: 294.000€ M1227 – Jesus/Aldover with mountain views! Legal with Cedula D'Habitabilitat. Gated entrance in 17400m² of land. Chalet of 91m² - fitted kitchen, dining area, lounge with vaulted ceiling, utility , w.c & h.b. mezzanine (ideal office), 3 bedrooms. Mains electricity & water. Furnishings included in the sale. Price: 169.000€ M1217 – Mas de Barberans 120m² Country property Immaculate throughout 2 large double beds, shower room, sun terrace, kitchen, dining room, lounge, furnished. Price 125.000€

M1256 – Camarles - 15 mins to beach! Country House with Sea Views. Unique Country House with Cedula D’Habitabilitat! House over two floors and connected to water & electricity. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, terraces with sea views, store room. 29000m² fenced plot. Price of 159.000€ M1274 – L’Ampolla Coastal 4 bed house 4 beds 2 baths 135m² built communal Pool "nice residential townhouse” 500m from the centre of l'Ampolla Furnished Price: 141.000€

M1254 – Bitem With CEDULA D'HABITABILITAT (Dwelling License) Newly ref Country property 80m² - fully insulated - roof terrace - storehouse 2 bedrooms - full bathroom - water - solar system. Plot size 7.432m² Now 134.950€

M1230 – Tres Calas 3 bed 2 bathroom Villa with swimming pool & garage immaculate condition, 5 mins from the three beaches of Tres Cales. Price: 225.000€

M1241 – L’Ampolla Villa with Sea Views WITH CEDULA D'HABITABILITAT 3 beds 1 bath 152m² Villa, plot size 1388m² charming villa in l'Ampolla, 5mins beach Price: 225.000€

M1278 – Vinallop House with 500m² garden 3 beds, shower room, Village house over two floors very beautifully reformed Many original features. With garden 500m². Price 120.000€

Av. Generalitat 70, 43500, Tortosa, Tarragona, Spain email: info@myspanishome.com

+34 977 446 655 +34 639 041 277 +34 679 499 316

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