tweeners [10–12 years]

Tweeting, posting, texting, emailing…communicating, well sort of. For our techy tweeners they can “talk” to hundreds of people all while being completely alone. Am I blowing your mind? Well, regardless of these new fandangled forms of communicating, don’t discount the value of teaching good ol’ fashion person to person, in person talking.

you talkin’ to me

Technology isn’t going anywhere, but that’s not an excuse to let your tweener become a hermit that is completely uncomfortable with human contact. Here are some dos and don’ts to help your tweener master the art of conversation:

• do listen Conversation is more about listening than it is actually talking. Really listen to what the other person is saying and be genuinely interested in what they are saying. Maintain eye contact and add the occasional “hmm,” “uh-ah” and head nod at appropriate times.

• don’t interrupt Wait your turn. Teach your tweener that interrupting someone in midsentence is just rude. Also, changing subjects within a conversation is also inappropriate.

• do think Teach your tweener the importance of thinking before speaking. Most foot-in-mouth moments could be prevented with a couple seconds of think time.

• don’t focus on one When speaking with a group of people, teach your tweener not to focus on just one person in the group. Now this means more than just physically looking at one person. Inside jokes or conversation topics and excluding some people in the group aren’t good either.

• do elaborate When in a conversation, one word answers aren’t going to cut it. Offering details keep the conversation going.

Another great way to promote conversation skills in your tweener…TALK to him! Like everything, practice makes perfect, but you don’t have to say, “hey son, let’s have a practice conversation!” You just need to ask some open ended questions at times when you have their attention such as in the car or at the dinner table. And while you have their attention, make sure they have all of yours too!

Your teen…in love. Now don’t scoff! This is real love, not just some teen crush, mama! Real love… for a while anyway. Your teen is going to learn exactly what Neil Sedaka meant in his 1962 number one hit… breaking up is hard to do!

sometimes you’re the windshield…

Throughout life your teen is going to learn that sometimes you’re the one calling the shots and sometimes you’re the bug hitting the windshield! Every relationship your teen [and all of us for that matter] is a part of should be based on respect. So, when young love doesn’t work out and your teen is ready to cut ties, help him do it respectfully with these key points:

• 1st to know When you’re the dumper make sure the dumpee is the first to know about this relationship status change. Let your teen know it is not cool to tell everyone else you are breaking up with Sara before Sara is told! Not cool.

• tell it! Don’t post it, tweet it, text it or email it. Actually speak to the person you are breaking-up with and tell them what’s going on. I know this could be a new concept for your teen, but it’s a mature one. Not doing the breakup in person is disrespectful.

• stick to your guns It’s pretty safe to assume that no breakup is fun. Emotions can run high, but it’s important to remember there is a reason for the breakup. Let your teen know he needs to keep his intentions clear even if the one he is breaking up with gets emotional. Crying, arguing, and bargaining are things he may encounter. Stay calm, don’t drag things out, and be respectful. says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says sally says

Since he was just a tot, we have preached, treat others as you would like to be treated. This is true even in breaking up because next time your teen could be on the other end of the breaking up.

Who is Sally?

She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.