FAMILY

Isabel Perez

10th Grade • Richard T. Crane Medical Preparatory

Family, a six letter word just like my name. A name which means “God is my Oath”. Did my mother like the name or did she like the meaning? My last name has five letters. It was given by my other half who brought me to this planet called Earth. When I was born it seemed as if it was great joy to have a baby girl. Everyone loved babies, especially if they had chubby cheeks and chubby everything. It was a group of something new. When you’re young, such as a four years old or five years old, you tend to play with toys a lot. You explore more of who you are when growing up with people you’ve been knowing all your life, and every person is different but so alike. I don’t remember saying “this is my family,” or the first time I even learned how to spell it or even say it.

Language was another thing I learned before I even started going to school. Spanish is and will forever be my first language, but English, well, I needed to learn that. I remember it was difficult to learn because it was my second language. Anyways, my family and I would always talk in Spanish because my grandma only knew one language. Sixteen years later she still doesn’t speak it, but she comprehends some of it. My grandma only knows “thank you”, “no thank you”, “I don’t speak English”, “speak Spanish”, and “beautiful”. I can’t tell you enough how much I love that woman. She has my whole heart.

When I think of family I think of one person and that is my

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grandma. She came to the U.S. from Michoacan and raised eight children on her own to give them a better life for themselves as well as for their future partners, which they’ll create with their own families here in the United States. Many people believe family requires having to be related such as by blood, but I disagree.

Family is someone or something who makes you full. It's someone who understands you and cherishes the moments in your life with the hard obstacles life throws at you and is still there for you. The people and objects I consider family are the ones who make me happy and full of life. The people who bring great joy like a baby brings to a family is the type of connection I have with those people as well as objects. They make me want to become a better person who does things for myself and who has motivation in life to keep going at it.

However, there is a downside to being a part of a family. When growing up, I had this one aunt who ended up living in Indiana with her husband and my four cousins. The distance between them and me is heartbreaking. I also had an uncle who ended up living there, too, but then after a couple years he moved back to Chicago. But before he got married, he had this business partner who then became my aunt. She has a son and a daughter. She is only five years older, and he is only a year older, but the time we spent playing in the house I grew up in as a big family was the most fun and memorable thing I will always remember. Even if you’re not family by blood, you are family in the mind of one self for the actions that you live off from that moment in life.

Every day I learn not everyone is someone you can call family, but by the moments they celebrated through the good times and the bad. When I look at how my life has turned, I realize the

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amount of tears and laughter I spent with each person that I consider family, even with friends, when they have your back and they support you and trust is gained.

Love, trust, and laughter are the walls supporting a family. It's what helps create great bonds with another person. You can honestly say your best friend is family because you and that person have gone through so much and they’ve been there every step of the way. Even if you barely met them, but when you connect with someone it’s like you’ve known them all your life. Every person you interact with has some meaning towards your life no matter what. You learn and you accept for the next thing in life.

Growing up as a big family, I didn’t think we would’ve gone our separate ways. Now, my life growing up was going to be interesting with my mom and my grandma. You’d think being a girl you would have a better connection with your mom, but you don’t. You just happen to have good moments in your life. Things aren’t what they seem to be at times. Being an only child might be the reason why I have an interesting bond with my mother. It’s not like I don’t want to have a good connection with her but sometimes she just forces things which make me distant and she gets mad. Even though I said family is what my grandma is, my mother will always be my mother even after our differences, whether she expected a child or not. She is my inner family which is probably why it’s so hard at times, because she’s known me ever since I was a baby and I’ve only known her when I can remember, which is mostly around when I was about five years old.

When I was younger, I can remember I was the type of child who always had on a smile or a laugh to make the moment

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better in some way, but now years later I’ve been the type of person who’s more protective and keeps to themselves. When something bugs me I let it bug me until I can no longer contain what I feel. This is a downfall for being a part of a family at times, or even all the time. I can only talk about what I feel family means as an only child speaking. Being an only child is stressful because you’re expected to do things a lot, which in this case you learn responsibility and being independent first. In all honesty, family can be whoever. It can make you happy at times or even sad, but the most it can do is cause anger, which will be the last resort dealing with family. Many people struggle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and so many other mental health problems, which would also affect the relationship you have with people close such as family.

My mother found out I was suicidal when I was about 10 years old due to the fact that my aunt told my mom something. During that time I wasn’t as close with a lot of people. Only a few friends knew which I trusted, because I didn’t know the meaning of life and I just felt like I didn’t belong for being bullied at the school I used to go to. Once I got older, I had so many insecurities it was insane. I started body shaming my own body, but yet my body does so much for me and I reward it by being harsh on myself, which isn’t fair. Now that I can say I put my body shaming aside, I realize whether life right now is a good place. In reality it will never be. There have been times where I can have a mental breakdown and I wouldn’t want my parents to know, because all that can help me is to cry it all out, let it all out. However, you should enjoy every second you’re on this Earth with family. My family and I have created so many memories together and I wouldn’t know what I would do without them.

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When you’re the daughter of someone who wasn’t expecting a child, you learn a lot. It’s much stricter, and mostly you keep to yourself. I wouldn’t want that on anyone, but it happens. Sometimes being in a family of two, it’s hard, especially if there’s problems you and that person have gone through different situations. If I’m being honest, I don’t really know my mother as well as I thought. We both don’t have a connection like other people do with their family, but at least we’re working on it each day to make it better.

Family is whoever you want it to be, but sometimes you get hurt in the process of calling that person family. For example, they might’ve died which hurts you so much because they were like family to you, or if they left your life which hurts since you thought they’ll be in your life forever. Life has a way of its own, such as my cousin who is a year older than me, who passed away. We aren’t related by blood, but he became family through my uncle who married his mother. He will always be in my heart and I’ll cherish our moments together. I was angry at the world so to say. No matter how you view someone, they can be the next family to you. Unconditional love and support build a happy family.

Ohana happens to be a five letter word which is shorter than family as a six letter word. No matter how many letters or meanings family has, it will always be infinite with the bond you create with each other. Family will always be difficult, but at the end all you can do is enjoy their presence while they’re here with you.

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