LOVE IS GREY

Akhiyah Vaughn

12th Grade • Bremen High School

“Did you see Charlie’s new car? He looks so hot in it.” Bethany tugged onto my arm and I looked at her.

“Right, my bad.” She let go of my arm but still stood so close to me I could smell her Japanese Cherry Blossom perfume. She reeked of it. I loved Beth, but I hated that scent.

“No, I didn’t see Charlie’s new car. He gets a new one every weekend.” That was a true statement. Charlie was like super filthy rich, played all the sports at St. Luca School of the Arts, was accepted into 50 colleges, had a 27 on the ACT and a 1340 on the SAT. Every girl at this school was in love with him. Cliche, cliche. He wasn’t even all that.

“I know but this one,” she sighed all dreamy like, “His new car is a 1987 Chevy Corvette. It’s super unique and ancient and the inside is leather and —”

I stopped walking and turned to look at her. “Wait. How do you know what it looks like on the inside?”

Bethany giggled and used her finger to twirl a piece of her dark brunette hair. “Well..”

I internally gagged and put my hand up to silence her. “You know what, I don’t even wanna know.”

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Bethany rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” We continued to talk as we headed for the student parking lot. I always rode home with Bethany, after all, we were sisters.

Approaching the Nissan that her daddy bought her, she used her key to unlock the door and we both got in; throwing our bags in the backseat. Before she even started the car, I connected my phone to the aux cord.

“Oh my god.” Beth rolled her eyes. “Please don’t turn on that old music again. I can’t take any more of it.”

“Girl bye.” I waved her off while searching for a song on Apple Music. “You know it’s my day to pick the music.”

She started up the car, and we were on our way home. I bobbed my head to Nas’ 1994 Illmatic album while Beth kept a straight face, irritated by my song choice, obviously.

“Beth, it's really not that serious. I never get mad when you play Katy Perry or Linkin Park. I’m always a good sport.”

“Katy Perry and LP are normal musicians,” she replied.

Scrunching up my eyebrows, I glanced at her. “What is that supposed to mean? Rap isn’t normal enough for you?”

“Zora, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just saying that-”

“Please explain to me what you were ‘trying’ to say. White musicians are normal but black ones aren’t? Every time I get in this car and play some R&B or Hip-Hop, it’s always a problem. You always have an attitude every time it’s my turn to play some music that represents who I am and where I come from. I’m sorry I didn’t grow up on Taylor Swift and One Direction.”

“You just made a big deal out of nothing. Everything isn’t always about race Zora.”

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Here we go.

“Race? Did you hear anything I said? I didn’t say anything about race Bethany.”

“My parents voted for Obama, shouldn’t that be enough for you? My parents even took you in. You should be grateful I give you a chance to play your kind of music in my car. I give you rides every day. If it was up to me, you would be taking the bus.” We turned into our driveway and before I could say anything she was already walking towards the door. Now I see how she really feels.

“She basically tried to say that white music was normal and black music isn’t. Sometimes, I can’t stand her.” I said to Simone over FaceTime. I intentionally left out the part about the whole Obama thing because I knew she would throw a fit.

She shook her head and laughed. “I can’t stand her either Zo. I don’t see how you deal with that everyday. I would have slapped her.” She said in a joking manner but I knew she was for real.

“But on to more important topics....” I wiggled my eyebrows in a playful manner and Simone rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“I don’t wanna talk about him. Old news. Next!”

I smacked my lips. “Simone, you're my best friend. We have to talk about what happened.”

Looking off to the side and avoiding eye contact she said, “It’s really nothing to talk about. He said what he said and that was that.”

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Even though she wasn’t looking at me, I could see the sadness in her eyes. She wanted to cry, but knowing Simone, she wouldn’t. Simone believed in sex after marriage, meanwhile her boyfriend Larry, did not.

“I thought he didn’t care about that sort of thing, you know. He swore up and down that sex didn’t matter and that he loved me for me. Guess not. You really see people’s true colors.”

I snorted. How ironic. “Girl, I know you loved him, but you didn’t need him especially if he doesn’t respect your decisions. You’re too beautiful and too smart to be worried about a 18 year old named Larry.”

She snickered and I laughed with her. “Like really, who looks at a little boy and goes, ‘oh yeah, Larry seems like a cute name.” She burst out laughing. I knew I could get her to smile.

“You’re my sister Simone. We’re family and I love you.” I crossed my fingers together and so did she. “Forever.”

“And ever,” she continued. We both kissed our crossed fingers and held them close to our heart. “Enough of the sentimental stuff.” Simone changed the subject. “Are you coming down here this weekend?”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but what for?”

“You didn’t hear the news?” Simone raised her eyebrows and I slowly shook my head no. “What happened?”

“Well, do you remember Josh from Mrs. Keller’s class?”

“Lightskin, curly hair, hazel eyes? I remember him.” I chuckled. “He was so cute back in 4th grade with his Urkel glasses and —”

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“Zora, he's dead.”

There was a complete silence, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. My mouth flew open in shock. “Quit playing Simone. Are you for real?”

Simone nodded sadly. “Some dudes came into his house 2 nights ago, shot him up and robbed him. His grandma found his body.”

I covered my mouth and my eyes began to get watery. When was this going to stop?! I was so tired of the people I knew dying. First my mama, then my uncle, now Josh? Who was to blame for this black on black crime?

“Simone I was just on his Instagram last night. He just posted a picture like 3 days ago. Two weeks ago, I saw him on the block and we talked and everything. This is so crazy.”

“Yeah girl, that’s the hood for you. I saw him the night he died. He had come into my job with his girlfriend and daughter.”

“He has a daughter?!” I exclaimed even more saddened. I felt so sorry for his little girl. I knew how it felt to lose a parent.

“He been had a daughter...” Her voice trailed off and that kind of made me angry. How was I supposed to know he had a daughter. I didn’t keep tabs on the ‘hood.’

“Well obviously I didn’t know. I don’t live there anymore. I’ll be there though. For sure.”

“You sure? Cause that’s what you said when we were protesting the police department but you never showed up.”

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“What’s up with you? Why —” I heard some movement coming from outside my door and swiftly turned around. I frowned and turned my attention back to my friend.

“Listen girl it’s not that serious just make sure you’re here. I gotta go, love you,” she interrupted and abruptly ended the call. What was that all about?

“Zora....” Lauren knocked on my bedroom door and opened it slightly, peeking her head through. “Time for dinner honey.”

“I’ll be right there.” I closed my workbook. “Um...can I go back home this weekend?” I asked Lauren who was still by the door waiting for me.

“You just went last week Zo. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything's fine. I just want to check up on my friends and see my granny.” Her green eyes looked over my dark brown ones and gave me a closed tight lipped smile.

“Not this week Zo. We’re going to the lake house this weekend. I was going to tell you girls earlier but it must have slipped my mind.” She chuckled and touched my box braids.

“When did you decide this? Why didn’t you ask us if we wanted to go?”

“Excuse me?” Lauren looked taken aback. “Last time I checked, I was the mother-”

“My mother is dead. You’ll never be her.”

Lauren sighed deeply and threw her arms up in defeat. “Stop bringing your deceased mother into every situation! I adopted you so legally you are my child. I said we’re going to the lake house as a family and that’s final, Zora. Be mad and pout all you want.”

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Everybody just wants to irritate me, huh? I don’t care what nobody says, I’m going to that candlelight vigil.

“Why must you always choose between us and them?”

Ha. Like mother, like daughter I see. Racism must run in this family.

“Them? Those people are my people, Lauren. I’m not choosing between anybody. I love both places and both people equally,” I tried to reason.

“No, Zora. No. We are your family. Richard and I took you in when Erica didn’t want you. We are your parents and you will do as we say. Now come on before the dinner gets cold.”

Friday came quicker than I had expected. We never went to school on Lake House weekends. I guess it was a “family” tradition. I laid in bed with my covers over my face.

“Let’s go! Chop chop!” I heard Lauren’s voice in the hallway, opening doors and yelling in them. Lauren opened up my door and started yelling. “Get up Zora! Time to go, where are your bags?”

I sat up in my bed and looked at her. “What bags?”

Lauren gave me a straight face. “Zora I’m not playing right now. Get up and pack.”

“No. I’m not going.”

Lauren’s face became red as a beet and her jaw began to clench and unclench. “If you don’t go —”

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“Then what? What’s gonna happen?” I raised my voice, getting loud with her. “You gonna take my phone? My laptop? My freedom?”

“What’s going on in here?” Richard entered my room with Bethany and our brother, Bryson, behind her.

“Zora doesn’t want to go to the Lake House.” Lauren replied and Richard shrugged his shoulders.

“If she doesn’t want to go, you can’t make her.”

“What!?” She snapped her head to look at him. “This is a family tradition. We never break family traditions.”

“Daddy’s right, Mom. This should be a biological thing anyway.”

“Bethany, watch your mouth.” Richard said sternly and then looked back at me. “Zora, you don’t have to go. Ok?”

This is why I love Richard. “Thanks Richie.” I smiled at him and he nodded his head and left my room leaving Bethany, Bryson, and Lauren to look at me with disappointed faces.

I smirked, laid back down, and threw the covers back over me.

“Wow..” I looked at all the individuals with “Long Live Josh” t-Shirts on. They were plain white t-shirts with designs and his picture was on the back. His favorite color was purple so his grandma asked everybody to wear any shade of purple clothing they had.

I stood next to Simone in a crowd as we watched candles

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being passed around. Everybody and I mean everybody had come to pay their respects to Joshua Alejandro Sanchez. People had posters up with pictures of him. On the sidewalk were teddy bears, candles, more posters, all types of flowers, Mexican skulls, candy, and so much more stuff I couldn’t recognize.

“As you all may know, my grandson was murdered 3 days ago in my home.” Josh’s grandmother, Mrs. Johnson said into a microphone. She was standing on a cardboard box so we could all see her. “I haven’t been able to sleep since. Police have no leads, no one has come forward.” Her voice began to crack and she looked out at us, shaking her head in pity. Her eyes were damp and swollen with dark bags underneath. I looked over at Simone who was silently trembling and I held onto her hand for comfort.

“Thank you all. Each and everyone of you. This killing and murdering has to stop! My grandchild lost his life to nonsense! We have to come together as a community and put a stop to this killing and robbing. Joshua didn’t deserve this. He was a good boy. A very special boy. Everyone loved him and I know you all did too.” Her lip began to tremble and the crowd began to shout encouraging words to her.

“Please you all. If you know something about who murdered my baby boy, please let me know. I’m begging you. Josh had a daughter, he had stuff going on for himself. He didn’t deserve this.” Single tears fell down her brown face and I couldn’t help but cry too.

“Again. I can’t thank you guys enough for coming.” She wiped away some of the tears with her hand. “Joshua would have loved this. I love each and everyone of you. On the count of three, I

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want us to all yell ‘we miss you Josh’ and blow out your candles.” The crowd roared ‘we miss you Josh’ so loud I’m sure the whole world could hear us. The candles were blown out and everybody began to congregate again.

With blurry eyes, I looked over to my right to see my family and my mouth flew open in shock. They walked over to me and engulfed me with large arms. I couldn’t believe it. They were actually here.

“What are you guys doing here? I thought you were going to the lake house?” I looked up at Richard and he smiled down at me.

“Lauren heard your conversation about the vigil and we knew we had to be here for you and with you.”

I looked at Lauren and then Beth and they smiled at me. “We love you Zora. We’re both sorry for what happened earlier.”

“Thank you guys. I love y'all.” My tears were a mixture of sadness and gladness. I loved my family so much, and they proved to love me too. Love isn’t always just black and white.

This was what love was all about, coming together as one. We were more than a community, this impacts us all, we were a family and we deserved better.

We will do better.

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