Oregon Family Magazine

F E B R U A R Y

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O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

Love Is in the Air NAVIGATING TEEN RELATIONSHIPS

Valentines Recipes RED VELVET MUG CAKE & COCOA-KISSED PANCAKES

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EARTHTALK® Once Endangered Northern Spotted Owls and Old Growth Forests FOR THE FAMILY PET For the Love of Dogs: The Science of Dog Emotions FAMILY A Valentine’s Play Book 10 Ways to Say “I Love You”

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PARENTING NOW! Balancing Long Term Parenting Goals A DAD’S EYE VIEW Real Life Dad’s Humor Dad’s Valentine’s Day Lament NEARBY NATURE Beavers, Ducks, and Turtles Oh My! Meet Your Natural Neighbors

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FAMILY HEALTH Setting the Stage for a Positive Dental Visit FEBRUARY RECIPES Red Velvet Mug Cake Cocoa-Kissed Valentine Pancakes MENTAL HEALTH Love is in the Air: Navigating Teen Dating MONEY MATTERS Cooped Up This Winter?

15 Board Games That Teach Math and Money Skills

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MOVIE REVIEWS Kids: Under the Boardwalk Parents: Boys in the Boat PET RESCUE SPOTLIGHT Pupper: Brock Kitty: Wiley IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT ÉCLAIR

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FEBRUARY 2024

Phone HEARTBAKER ahead.

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T R I P L E P : T H E P O S I T I V E PA R E N T I N G P R O G R A M

Practical Tools for Every Parent Sign up for the Triple P Online Course Learn about parenting strategies to support your child with: • Bedtime Routines

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Triple P Online is free for all Lane County families! • Triple P esta disponible en español FEBRUARY 2024

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Never Climb a Ladder Again!

Permanent Programmable Holiday & Year Round Lighting Oregon Family Magazine is distributed monthly in the greater Lane County area at over 150 high-traffic commercial locations.

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CONTRIBUTORS Rikki Asher Kimberly Blaker McKenzie Days Rick Epstein Tanni Haas, Ph.D. Bonnie L. Harris Christa Melnyk Hines Roddy Scheer Beth Stein ADVERTISING John Haslam • 458.278.0988 john@oregonfamily.com OREGON FAMILY MAGAZINE P.O. Box 21732 • Eugene, OR 97402 541.683.7452 Email: info@oregonfamily.com Web: www.oregonfamily.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/OregonFamily

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How is the Northern Spotted Owl—the once endangered poster bird for old growth forest conservation in the Pacific Northwest—doing these days?

— P. J., SEATTLE, WA

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climate change.

Barred owls are generalists, consuming a variety of food ranging from small mammals to reptiles and even other birds. In contrast, Northern Spotted Owls are specialized, predominantly relying on

Beyond protections against logging, Northern Spotted Owls would benefit from the prohibition of pesticides in areas surrounding their habitat. Recent studies in Washington, Oregon, California forests showed a presence of PHOTO: ZIA FUKUDA, U.S. BLM, FLICKRCC.

ISTINGUISHED

BY DARKBROWN WHITESPECKLED feathers, the Northern Spotted Owl was the symbol of conservation in the Pacific Northwest in the 1990s. This period saw scientists and conservationists rallying against the rapid destruction of old-growth forests that the owl relied upon for survival.

In 1990, the U.S. government listed the species as “threatened” under the Endangered Species Act, leading to the establishment of “critical habitat” areas.

Despite these measures, deforestation and resulting habitat loss have been shrinking the bird’s population by about 2.9 percent annually. In British Columbia, where these owls also once thrived, over 97 percent of the old-growth forests are now gone. And the increase in forest fires, worsened by rising global temperatures, has further reduced the shrinking habitat.

Furthermore, the emergence of an invasive species, the Barred Owl, has pushed the Northern Spotted Owls to the brink of extinction. Historically inhabiting East Coast forests, Barred Owls have expanded their range westward in the last 50 years, enabled by habitat changes, human activity and

FEBRUARY 2024

EarthTalk

DEAR EARTHTALK

The Northern Spotted Owl—pictured here as an immature owlet—is still on the ropes 30+ years after environmentalists “saved” it.

small mammals, particularly flying squirrels and woodrats.

Northern Spotted Owl pairs typically do not breed annually.

When they do reproduce, they only lay one to two eggs and use large amounts of resources to invest in their roles as parents.

The presence of barred owls has prompted Northern Spotted Owls to disperse from their preferred breeding territories, impacting their already limited reproductive habits.

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anticoagulant rodenticides (ARs). This raises concerns about the Northern Spotted Owls due to their rodent-heavy diets. Though some raise concerns over the ethics of lethally removing barred owls, studies show that the resulting reduction of competition for resources would help Northern Spotted Owls’ adult survival rates, breeding attempts, and reproductive viability.

Efforts to increase the

wild Northern Spotted Owl population have been attempted with limited success. A Canadian program spent over 15 years diligently incubating eggs and hand-rearing chicks. In August 2022, the program released three captive-born male owls into a forest. However, by May 2023, two had died and another had been hit by a train and put into rehabilitation. Despite these disappointing results, scientists continue to improve their practices by studying other species of owls.

The Northern Spotted Owl faces a web of challenges from habitat loss to invasive species, but ongoing conservation efforts underscore a collective commitment to securing their survival. ✦ CONTACTS: ‘It’s never too late’: Canada taken to court for near-extinction of spotted owls, https://thenarwhal.ca/ spotted-owl-federal-court-case-guilbeault/; One left: British Columbia’s last chance on northern spotted owls, https:// news.mongabay.com/2023/05/oneleft-british-columbias-last-chance-onnorthern-spotted-owls/; It’s the Moment of Truth for Saving the Northern Spotted Owl, https://www.audubon.org/magazine/ fall-2022/its-moment-truth-saving-northern-spotted-owl.

EarthTalk® is produced by Roddy Scheer & Doug Moss for the 501(c)3 nonprofit EarthTalk. See more at https://emagazine. com. To donate, visit https://earthtalk.org.

Send questions to: question@earthtalk.org.

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FEBRUARY 2024

Love of Dogs

For the

THE SCIENCE OF DOG EMOTIONS

By

BY KIMBERLY BLAKER

living with and interacting with our dogs, we get to know them well. Despite their inability to talk, we often understand their emotions based on their body language. Scientists now know what dog owners have suspected all along. Dogs experience a wider range of emotions than scientists once thought.

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HE DOG BRAIN IS substantially smaller than the human brain when accounting for body size, so it isn’t as complex as our brain.

Yet, MRI studies reveal dogs’ brains aren’t much different from humans. MRIs have shown the same sections of both the human and dog brain light up based on various types of stimuli, according to a board-certified neurologist, Dr. J.P. McCue, at New York City’s Animal Medical Center, reported in “Dog Brain Facts: Understanding Canine Cognition.”

It’s also been found that dogs produce oxytocin, the neurotransmitter and hormone that creates the emotion of love in humans. In fact, research reveals that when our dogs stare into our eyes, it activates oxytocin, creating a bond similar to that between a mother and infant.

David Grimm reports on the research of this phenomenon in his article, “How dogs stole our hearts,” at sciencemag.org.

In an experiment by Takefumi Kikusui, an animal behaviorist, and his colleagues, dogs and their owners gazed into each other’s eyes. Their gaze ranged from a few seconds to a couple of minutes. The researchers found in those dogs and owners who stared longer, the oxytocin levels rose 130% and 300%, respectively. This adds to the growing body of research that supports dogs can feel love and attachment.

Just like in humans, dogs’ brains develop as they grow. In humans, the brain reaches full development around the age of twenty-five. But dogs’ brains are fully developed around the age of 6 months. At this point, dogs’ emotional development is equivalent to a two-and-a-halfyear-old human, according to researchers.

To gain perspective on what that means with regard to dogs’ range of emotions, Stanley Coren charts the emotions of a two-and-a-halfyear-old child in “What Emotions Do Dogs Actually Experience?”

These include joy, love and affection, contentment, excitement, shyness and suspicion, fear, disgust, distress, and anger. At that age, however, children don’t experience feelings that require self-consciousness, such as pride, shame, guilt, and contempt.

Researchers found in those dogs and owners who gazed longer, the oxytocin levels rose 130% and 300%, respectively.

HOW TO READ YOUR DOG’S FEELINGS

Here are some of the ways dogs express different emotions.

JOY. Dogs often express this when a family member comes home, or a familiar guest comes to visit. Dogs often run and jump, wag their tails, and lavish kisses. They also express joy when playing by barking or giving a playful bow.

LOVE AND AFFECTION. When dogs are feeling affectionate, they might nudge you with their nose, make loving eye contact (as opposed to the threatening eye contact of an unknown dog), or softly groan and sigh while lying next to you. Some dogs will lean their bodies up against you while sitting or standing. They also express their love through kissing, jumping, and rolling onto their backs with a wagging tail.

SHYNESS, SUSPICION, FEAR. These emotions are often quite evident. Dogs might flatten their ears, avoid eye contact, tuck their tail

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FEBRUARY 2024

under, cower, pant, or shake. They can also have dilated glassy eyes.

Pacing, hiding, whining, barking, sneering, nipping, or submissive urination can also be signs of fear or shyness.

DISTRESS. When dogs are depressed, they can experience changes in appetite, behavior, sleep patterns, and reduced activity levels.

Emotionally distressed dogs also show this in their posture with downcast eyes and a low-bent neck. They might also lick or shed excessively.

ANGER. If your dog has ever ignored you or given you the cold shoulder, there’s a good chance it’s mad at you. But if you’re doing something that makes your dog particularly angry, the signs may be more prominent. Your dog might take a rigid posture, bark loudly in your direction, or make sharp or short barks. This is a warning to stop whatever you’re doing that’s making your dog angry. If your dog begins growling, repeatedly howling with a rising pitch, or showing teeth, it’s prepared to attack.

WHAT ABOUT HACKLES?

People often think raised hackles indicate a dog is angry or showing aggression. Sometimes that’s the case. But raised hackles are an involuntary reaction and most often caused by a host of other emotions. These include excitement, arousal, fear, shyness, defensiveness, or being startled. That said, dogs can bite out of fear, not just anger. The best way to know the meaning behind the raised hackles is to look at other body language that indicates what the dog is feeling. ✦

Moo-ve Over Milk Cartons While supplies last, let Lane County help your child’s school install a FREE bulk milk dispenser to save money and reduce waste.

Your Ticket to Summer Fun!

lanecountyor.gov/wastewise-schools FEBRUARY 2024

SPRING & SUMMER CAMPS DIRECTORY

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O R E G O N F A M I LY M A G A Z I N E

Call 458-278-0988 or scan code to Advertise 9

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BE MINE

holes in the corner of each card. On paper squares, write down 52 reasons why you love or appreciate him. Paste each sentiment in the middle of a playing card. Title the deck “I love you because...” and paste it on the top card. Attach the cards with a c-clip.

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TREAT THEM TO A HEARTY BREAKFAST. Surprise your kids with heart-shaped cinnamon rolls. Instead of rolling your cinnamon roll dough from one side to the other, roll it on both sides so that each side meets in the middle forming a heart shape. Slice and bake. Serve juice out of dollar store champagne flutes. Make a fruit salad. Cut fruits like apples, strawberries, banana and watermelon using a heart-shaped cookie cutter.

Ways to Say “I Love You!” 8

TOY WITH CHEMISTRY. Put candy conversation hearts to the test. Gather vinegar, salt water, tap water and bleach (with adult guidance). Place a candy heart in four bowls. Ask your child to hypothesize about what will happen when each liquid is dropped over the candy. Using an eye dropper, test her theory. How does the candy react to different liquids? Did your young chemist’s predictions prove true?

A VA L E N T I N E ’S D AY FA M I LY P L AY B O O K

BY CHRISTA MELNYK HINES

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Day, their doors are covered. “Usually it’s just characteristics I see in them or ways that they’re kind to others. They really love this, and I even found my eight year old kept all his hearts from last year in a special drawer so that’s pretty awesome,” Sanchez says, whose other children are 10, 6 and 1.

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alentine’s Day isn’t just for couples in the heady throes of young love. Deliver sweet somethings to every important person in your life.

Here’s the plan for a perfectly playful V-Day for the whole family.

CREATE A SWEET TWEETS JAR. Decorate a mason jar for your child. On slips of paper, write adjectives or short sentences in 280 characters or less that describe traits you most appreciate, admire and love about him or her.

HUNT FOR CUPID’S TREASURE. Challenge your kids to a scavenger hunt.

Give them clues on a trail of paper hearts or cupid cut-outs. One clue leads to the next until they find a Valentine’s Day surprise.

Check online for scavenger hunt clue ideas.

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“ATTACK” THEM WITH HEARTS. On each of the thirteen days leading up to Valentine’s Day, mom of four, Alexis Sanchez posts a heart-shaped note on her kids’ doors each night after they go to bed. By Valentine’s

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SEND A SINGING TELEGRAM. Video your preschooler singing a ditty like: “I made this little valentine; Of red, white and blue; I made this little valentine; Especially for you!” (point at the camera). Email the file to grandparents or another relative your youngster is crazy about.

CUSTOMIZE CARDS FOR CLASSMATES. Bypass the usual cartoon paper postcards and publish simple photo cards with a themed border. Last year, Sanchez attached a small bottle of bubbles to her daughter’s cards, which read “Friend, you blow me away!”

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PLAY THE QUEEN OF HEARTS. Ace V-Day by sending love notes in a pack of red playing cards for your beloved. Punch

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GET THOSE HEARTS PUMPING. Using a poster board, make a grid of nine different exercises (sit-ups, somersaults, jumping jacks, pushups, etc). Players take turns tossing a beanbag (or other item) onto the grid. Then they rolling the dice to see how many times they have to do the exercise that their beanbag landed on. For more ideas, check out 12345 Fit-Tastic! on Pinterest, a healthy lifestyles initiative for families.

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REV UP DATE NIGHT. In the whirlwind of parenting, life as a couple can get routine. Plan an outing with your sweetheart that’s playful and gets you out of your dinner-and-a-movie rut. For example, lift off in a hot air balloon ride; go dancing; take a couples cooking class; paint together at a drop-in paint-and-sip studio; or attend a concert or live theater production. ✦ Freelance journalist, Christa Melnyk Hines and her beloved Valentine of 22 years share their hearts and home with two active children, a sweet rescue mutt and a cricket-lovin’ lizard. Christa is the author of Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.

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FEBRUARY 2024

Balancing Long-Term Parenting Goals

BY MCKENZIE DAYS

As

JANUARY CONCLUDES AND FEBRUARY rolls into our lives, we often find ourselves becoming more idle with our New Year’s resolutions; the spreadsheet of our long-term goals and our day-by-day planner have completely disappeared underneath our desks. Often, this is the case with new parenting goals as well; we forget, become frustrated, and angry with ourselves.

Reflecting after the turmoil of the holidays and implementing new changes in your

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family should be encouraged: It shows parental self-awareness. However, setting parenting goals is not just for the new year; parenting goals shape your child’s life. In addition, parents who are overwhelmed with their day-to-day responsibilities often feel burdened by these overarching goals at times. This is why we work with families on breaking down long-term goals into achievable pieces. We help balance the longterm goals with the short-term goals.

As an example, we can examine a family who has the long-term goal to build their child’s confidence and independence. The parents may ask what their toddler can do for themselves, how their toddler can allow extra time for them to practice self-care skills, and think about methods to incorporate these into pretend play. This is a long-term goal because it requires the investment of teaching time upfront and fosters skill development.

It focuses on shaping the child’s future and requires more patience and thought.

However, if this same family wanted their child to learn capability and learn the value of help, they may feel conflicted. At this

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moment, we are reminded of the value of short-term goals and that there are lots of opportunities for parenting. These shortterm goals can fill in the gap in-between the more overwhelming long-term goals and make them feel more digestible. In the example of independence, short-term goals remind us that it’s okay to go ahead and step in for our children if parents are in a rush. These can become opportunities to be more compassionate with ourselves and our children and still work towards our goals of helping them learn how to be in the world. ✦ McKenzie Days is the Communications and Development Coordinator for Parenting Now. Parenting Now offers parenting groups and drop-in programs for families with children 0-8, and is passionate about fostering happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now please visit their website (https://parentingnow.org/) or contact us at info@parentingnow.org.

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A Dad’s Eye View

Dad’s Valentine’s-Day Lament

BY RICK EPSTEIN

“…A

ND AMANDA GOES: ‘IF you won’t come to the skating rink tonight, you’ll have to find yourself a new girlfriend!’ And HE is like: ‘But my dad’s taking me bowling.’ So she tells him she’s like DUMPING him. Justin isn’t the ONLY cute fifth-grade boy in the school. MATT likes her too, you know, and he–” My oldest daughter Marie was having a sleep-over and the burgeoning sexuality in her room had blasted her door open to release this bulletin on Justin’s fall from grace.

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One of the girls discovered that security had been breached and quickly closed the hatch. I’d LIKE to say that it was not my daughter who is quoted above, but she and her friends all sound alike when they are together, so I can only hope.

A year before, all boys had been gross pigs; now every day seems to be Valentine’s Day. Last year, Feb. 14th was barely noted; this year, with the volcanic eruption of young love, it promises to be the Last Day of Pompeii.

Maybe it’s normal for girls to go boy-crazy this early. I never had any sisters, so I wouldn’t know. But what about the boys who are apparently involving themselves in these premature liaisons?

I know a little bit about fifth-grade boys, but it seems my information is out of date.

When I was a kid, boys did not permit each other to show an interest in girls until seventh or eighth grade at least.

A liking for girls was regarded as a kind of perversion. You could just as easily say to another guy, “Does Kathy’s smile haunt you the way it does me?” as you could confide, “Guess what!

I’ve got my mom’s underwear on today!”

A mocking chorus of “Ricky has a girlfriend” or “Rick and Mary sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-SI-N-G...” would inflict pain and humiliation like nothing else since tar-and-feathers.

Anthropologists call this the enforcement of a cultural norm.

But I’m 45 years old now, and only my wife really cares whether I have a healthy interest in females. So I can finally admit to having illicit feelings for a girl in my fifth-grade class, Pam Wintermute. She was cute and I liked her. (There! I’ve said it!)

But I was just society’s child.

Back then I could only tell her: “Welcome back, Enos!” That was my line of dialogue in a scene we shared in an American history pageant. She played a monkey who had just returned from a NASA space mission, and I was a guy in a white lab coat.

I would open the space capsule (a gray-painted refrigerator box), speak my greeting, put my hands around her waist and help her leap out. She had the kind of natural beauty that was only enhanced by a monkey suit and monkey makeup. Our love scene was about 9 seconds long, but it was rehearsed many times, and each time was a breath-taking voyage into exotic and forbidden waters. I could have played Guy in Lab Coat to her Enos the Monkey until the timbers of the stage rotted through and the all-purpose room crumbled to dust around us.

Although I never would have spoken to Pam out of character, we were thrown together once again when we were assigned to set up a bulletin board commemorating Pearl Harbor Day – what Franklin Roosevelt described as “a day of infamy” after the Japanese dive-bombed our fleet. Pam and I were in the

classroom after school, cutting airplanes, ships and big letters out of construction paper, when my little brother Jim came up to Pam and announced, “Ricky LIKES you!” Pam looked at me and I blushed, unable to speak.

The only face that could’ve been redder and hotter than mine was Joan of Arc’s while she was being burned at the stake. Thank God, there were no witnesses; I would’ve had to kill them.

My brother, having dropped his bombshell, disappeared. Pam and I finished the bulletin board in strained silence. I felt like one of the burning, sinking gray battleships that I was stapling into place. It was a new “day of infamy.”

I did not beat Jim up that evening although he deserved it. He had taken something beautiful and poured salt on it. A mere beating would have trivialized his crime.

Embarrassed and fearing scandal, I stayed away from women for a long time after that, living on the memories of my special moments with Pam, her slim waist and her long furry tail. She moved out of town the next summer, and that helped.

Now it’s 35 years later and I’m the father of three girls, vainly trying to keep them out of the boy-girl demolition derby for as long as possible. And right when I’ve been counting on their help, a whole generation of fifth-grade boys seems to have lost its sense of decorum and manliness. More infamy. ✦ Rick can be reached at rickepstein@yahoo.com.

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FEBRUARY 2024

Explore Nearby Nature

Connect with Your Natural Neighbors

BY BETH STEIN

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AP…TAP…TAP… TAP…TAP…TAP… Ever wonder who’s knocking, open you door, peer outside, and discover a woodpecker in a nearby oak? You’ve just met one of your natural neighbors!

Feathered, furry, scaled, and shelled, critters of all kinds live in neighborhoods just like yours, right in the middle of town.

Starting this month, you’ll have lots of opportunities to meet your natural neighbors.

By connecting with these critters, and

treating them as a part of your community, you’ll strengthen the web of life to which we all belong. Read on to learn about four friends you might encounter as you explore.

Pacific Treefrogs: Did you know there’s a free symphony in wet places like Amazon Park every spring? This lovely chorus is made up of male Pacific treefrogs “singing”

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their mating songs. Fun fact: each tiny frog amplifies its tune by inflating a resonating throat sac — up to three times the size of its head!

Western Pond Turtles: On a sunny day, take a walk at the Delta Ponds behind Valley River Center and you’ll likely see a whole party of turtles sitting on logs. Turtles are reptiles, so they need a heat source outside their bodies to stay warm, thus their passion for sun bathing! Fun fact: western pond turtles are unable to swallow food in the air; they must swallow under water.

Beavers: Beavers delight in eating the soft, tasty growing layer just under the bark of water-loving trees. If you visit Alton Baker Park, you’ll see their handiwork all along the canal. Touch the tooth marks on a beaver-chewed cottonwood and imagine having teeth tough enough to chop down a tree! Fun fact: beavers can hold their breath underwater for up to 15 minutes!

Ducks: We all love ducks, right?! Look for mallards – brightly colored males and easily camouflaged brownish females – along all of the waterways in our community.

Mallards are called puddle or dabbling ducks. Kids love watching them tip tail-up to reach submerged vegetation, seeds, and invertebrates. Fun fact: water birds need LOTS of feathers to stay warm – about 12,000 per mallard!

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To help your kids connect to their natural neighbors year around, sign them up for outdoor after school programs, no school days, and summer daycamps. Nearby Nature (nearbynature.org) and other local nature groups have lots of cool spring and summer programs open for registration starting this month! ✦ Beth Stein is the Executive Director of Nearby Nature, a non-profit education group dedicated to fostering appreciation of nature nearby and providing tools for ecological living. Nearby Nature hosts after school care, the Wonder Keepers preschool, no school day programs, school field trips, special events, summer daycamps, and restoration projects. For more information, call 541-687-9699 or see nearbynature.org.

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Positive

SET THE STAGE FOR A

e Dental Visit for Your Child

BY KIMBERLY BLAKER

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OST OFTEN, CHILDREN'S VISITS to the dentist are a positive experience for parents and kids alike.

Despite this, between 9 and 15% of American adults fear dental visits, according to Cleveland Clinic. When parents are anxious about the dentist, that nervousness can instill fear and anxiety in their child, too.

Adults and kids may fear going to the dentist for several reasons. Cleveland Clinic explains that perhaps the adult or child had a negative dental experience or has heard horror stories that exaggerate their fears. The most common cause of anxiety is the fear of pain. Also, some kids and adults worry about the effectiveness or side effects of anesthesia or have a fear of needles.

A negative experience at the dentist as a child can result in continued anxiety over routine dental care even into adulthood. So, to ensure a positive, successful experience, know how to prepare yourself and your child for his or her first and subsequent dental visits. Doing so will pave the way to a lifelong devotion to regular and consistent dental care when your child becomes an adult.

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YOUR CHILD AND THE DENTIST – BUILDING A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP EARLY ON

The earlier your child begins visiting the dentist, the better. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends your child's first visit by the age of one or within six months of when the first tooth erupts.

At this stage, your child's visit will be quick, simple, and pain-free. Providing your child early positive experiences will help your child develop trust in the dentist.

Be aware that depending on your child's age and the dental office policies, many dentists will ask you to remain in the lobby during your child's checkup. This is the typical recommendation for children over the age of 3. There's a good reason for this.

Separating a child from parents usually results in fuller cooperation from children.

This can go a long way toward a more positive experience for your child.

When your child is placed in the care of the dental staff, they'll try to make your child's first experience fun and informative.

The dentist will explain and demonstrate routine procedures to your child and then perform those procedures. Your child quickly

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learns the dentist is someone to trust.

Down the road, if your child needs nonroutine dental work, the dentist will similarly work with your child to help alleviate fears.

If you're still concerned with sending your child in alone, call and ask to speak with the dentist or hygienist. Avoid causing your child alarm, and make the call in private so your child doesn't pick up on your anxiety. Explain your specific concerns so the dentist can address and alleviate your worries.

APPROACHING SCARED OR UNCOOPERATIVE CHILDREN

For a variety of reasons, some children become fearful or uncooperative during a visit to the dentist. If your child arrives unprepared or senses your anxiety, your child may develop undue worry. Previous experience could also cause stress.

Kids who are ill or have a physical or mental disability, a behavioral disorder, or developmental delay may also be challenging to treat. Whatever the reason, the way your dentist handles your child's fears and behavior is vital to your child's emotional well being and ability to cope with future visits.

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When your child is placed in the care of the dental staff, they’ll try to make your child’s first experience fun and informative.

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry has developed guidelines for behavior management that dentists should follow. Your dentist should use the communication techniques learned in dental school, including positive reinforcement, distraction, voice control, non-verbal communication, and the tell-show-do approach.

These techniques all help reassure patients and gain their trust. In most cases, these approaches are sufficient, leading to visits that end on a positive note. If a practitioner lacks the expertise for handling a situation, he should refer your child to a dentist with the appropriate skills.

PREVENT AN EXPERIENCE THAT HEIGHTENS YOUR CHILD’S FEARS BY BEING PROACTIVE • Contact your state's board of dentistry when choosing a practitioner to make sure there have been no disciplinary actions.

Read to your child before their first visit to the dentist. Try one of the following: • Why We Go to the Dentist by Rosalyn Clark • The Berenstain Bears Visit the Dentist by Stan Berenstain and Jan Berenstain • Celebrate! Going to the Dentist by Sophia Day • Dentist Trip (Peppa Pig) by Scholastic •Curious George Visits the Dentist by H.A. Rey • Share a DVD with your child, such as A Trip to the Dentist Through Pinatta’s View.

Also, express positive feelings about your own dental experiences. Don't discuss nonroutine procedures such as fillings. Explain to your child the necessary procedures he can expect. For example, the dentist will count your child's teeth and look at them with a tiny mirror. Avoid frightening terminology.

As your child grows, if you have concern

over a possible cavity, don't give your child too much information. This can result in undue anxiety. Your dentist should have the experience and expertise to talk to your child about such procedures in a manner that alleviates any stress your child might experience.

If your child is anxious, don't try to soothe your child by lying about a procedure or possible pain. Instead, try to alleviate fears that may be out of proportion to the situation.

Finally, offer coping strategies to your child. Have him practice taking long deep breaths. If you've confirmed with your child's dentist that you'll be attending your child throughout the procedure, you can offer your hand to squeeze. ✦ Kimberly Blaker is a lifestyle and parenting freelance writer and blogger. You can visit her blog, The Young Gma's Guide to Parenting, at www.theyounggma.com

• Inform your dentist of any medical, behavior, or other conditions that might affect your child's visit. That way, the dentist can communicate with your child accordingly.

• Pediatric dentists have specialized training for dealing with situations that can arise with children. If you suspect your child may have difficulty with dental visits, seek a pediatric dentist.

TIPS TO GET YOUR CHILD OFF ON THE RIGHT TRACK

Tell your child about the benefits of going to the dentist, such as to help keep their teeth strong and healthy, and so they'll have a beautiful smile.

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Recipe

Valentine’s Recipes You’ll Love If the way to your loved one’s heart is through the stomach, there’s no better way to start off Valentine’s Day than with a homemade breakfast, prepared with love. Whether whipping up breakfast for a spouse or tempting the taste buds of your little loves, explore these ideas for inspiration.

Red is the color of love, so build your menu around fresh strawberries or raspberries, which pair perfectly with French toast or crepes, and can even dress up a simple cereal.

For a more sensible menu, opt for a fruity berry smoothie or a parfait layered with fresh fruit, low-fat yogurt and granola. Add a hint of loving indulgence by sprinkling dark chocolate shavings on top.

Show your affection with a plate of colorful Cocoa-Kissed Red Velvet Pancakes featuring rich 100 percent cocoa, buttermilk, and fresh berries. Heart-shaped cookie cutters lend a special touch to these fluffy, flavorful pancakes. Add sweet garnishes like powdered sugar and berries for a sensational way to say, “I love you.”

Find more recipes you’ll love to share with your nearest and dearest this Valentine’s Day at Culinary.net

RED VELVET MUG CAKE Servings: 1

• 1/8 teaspoon salt

This dessert has Valentine’s Day written all over it, however, it can be enjoyed anytime throughout the year and is perfect for a late-night snack if you’re craving something sugary-sweet.

Mug cakes are a simple way to make something delicious and keep the portions small. Whether you have a small party, just you and your loved one or just simply want something easy and small, this quick treat is designed just for you. Valentine’s Day means sharing with someone how much you care, and it’s difficult to find a better way than to share something sweet.

• 1/3 cup milk • 2 tablespoons butter, melted • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract • 30 drops red food coloring • 3 tablespoons powdered sugar • 1 tablespoon cream cheese, softened

PREPARATION

1. In a 12-ounce mug, whisk flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Add milk, butter, vanilla and food coloring, mix until blended.

2. In a small bowl, mix powdered sugar and cream cheese until smooth. Drop cream cheese mixture into cake batter. Press into batter until covered.

Microwave up to 3 minutes until cake is done.

INGREDIENTS

• 6 tablespoons flour • 2 tablespoons sugar • 1 teaspoon cocoa powder

COCOA-KISSED VALENTINE PANCAKES Servings: 10 pancakes

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup all-purpose flour • 1/4 cup granulated sugar • 3 tablespoons Nestlé Toll House Baking Cocoa

• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder

• 1 teaspoon baking powder • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda • 1/2 teaspoon salt • 1 large egg • 1 cup reduced-fat buttermilk or low-fat milk • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted • 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract • 1 teaspoon red food coloring • butter garnish (optional) • powdered sugar garnish (optional) • maple syrup garnish (optional)

PREPARATION

1. In large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt; stir well.

2. In a separate large bowl, whisk together egg, buttermilk, unsalted butter, vanilla extract, and food coloring. Add to flour mixture; stir to combine. Allow mixture to sit for 5 minutes.

3. Heat nonstick skillet or griddle over medium heat. Brush with oil or butter.

Add about 1/4 cup batter to skillet.

Cook ~2 minutes, or until bubbles start to form on top. Flip and cook 1-2 minutes, or until bottom is lightly browned. Serve immediately with butter, powdered sugar, syrup, and berries, if desired.

4. Tip: If using pancake or cookie cutters, be sure to coat with oil so pancakes don’t stick. Place cutters in skillet and pour batter into cutters. Remove cutters before flipping.

• fresh berries garnish (optional)

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Love

Is in The Air

N AV I G AT I N G T E E N D AT I N G

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BY TANNI HAAS, PH.D.

ARENTS ARE NOT GENERALLY comfortable with the idea of their teen dating; but it’s a fact of life, and better for everyone involved when it’s acknowledged and accepted, rather than denied. As behavioral psychologist Dr. Shane Owens says, “dating is a rite of passage for kids – and their parents.”

So, what should parents do and say if their teen reveals they’ve started dating? Here’s what our experts suggest:

LISTEN CAREFULLY – AND DON’T LECTURE

You should feel flattered if your teen tells you they’re dating. It’s a sign they trust you and are excited to share the news with you. “Kids don’t confide in their parents as much as they get older,” says Rachel Ehmke of the Child Mind Institute, “so when kids do feel like talking, make an effort to be available and listen.” Listen carefully to what they say and try to respond in a non-judgmental way. Avoid lecturing, because if you do, says clinical psychologist Lisa Tiano, “they’ll tune you out, or give you the proverbial eye roll, waiting for the lecture to be over with.”

TALK ABOUT WHAT GOOD RELATIONSHIPS LOOK LIKE

Use the occasion to talk about what good relationships are like.

Middle school counselor Phyllis Fagell suggests parents discuss relationship characteristics like dependability, empathy, generosity, kindness, and considering someone else’s perspective. Ms. Fagell adds that parents can also recount their own experiences: “Talk about how you fell in love with your partner.” “What qualities did you admire?” and be honest, even if it wasn’t a perfect experience.

TALK ABOUT RESOLVING CONFLICTS

Explain to your teen that conflicts are inevitable, even in the best relationships. Encourage them to deal with conflicts instead of ignoring them. Help your teen understand, Ms. Ehmke says, that “it’s much better to admit when something is wrong, talk about it together, and try to fix it together.” It will better prepare them well for what it’s like to be in a mature, adult relationship in the future. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Jose Delerme adds, parents should teach their teens that arguments are not about winning or losing: “shift the idea of control to compromise, because no relationship should be one-sided.”

ENCOURAGE THEM TO KEEP THEIR FRIENDS AND INTERESTS

Remind your teen how important it is for them to have their own interests, separate from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Dr. Delerme encourages parents to explain that “relationships should complement your life – not define it.” Also encourage them not to ditch their regular friends just because they’re in a relationship. Explain, that “no one wants a friend who will throw her over for someone else, and you still need a social life outside your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

OFFER PERSPECTIVE

Anyone who’s been in love knows the feeling can be all-consuming.

Your teen may feel their current partner, especially if it’s the first one,

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will be their one and only ever-lasting love. As parents, we know better, but should fight the temptation to minimize the relationship or make it bigger than it really is. Well-known lifestyle writer Dina Cheney puts it well: “When your child reveals a crush for the first time, it’s easy to accidentally make fun of it, but you should resist the urge to trivialize things.” But, she says, parents shouldn’t aggrandize it either: “asking your son or daughter if they’re going to marry the person, for example, would apply too much pressure.”

GET TO KNOW THE PARTNER

Invite the boyfriend or girlfriend over. It shows them you’re comfortable with the idea of them being in a relationship, and that you care. If your teen thinks you genuinely want to get to know their partners, says Amanda Morin, senior expert at Understood, an education think tank, “they’re more likely to open up to you – and possibly, less likely to engage in questionable behavior.”

WHEN TO INTERVENE

One of the toughest questions is when parents should intervene in their teens’ relationships, possibly to end them. Experts agree parents should do so if either of the kids aren’t treating the other well. “If you overhear your teen saying mean comments or using manipulative tactics,” says Ms. Morin, “speak up. Similarly, if your teen is on the receiving end of unhealthy behavior, it’s important to step in and help.”

Navigating first relationships is an important life process, and can be exciting, confusing, fun, and sometimes even challenging. Be there for your kids – on the periphery and enjoy this snap shot in time! ✦

LOVE IT OR YOUR MONEY BACK

BROWS LASHES W

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S K I N

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Lash Extensions!

23 Oakway Center • Eugene • 541-636-0095 *Restrictions Apply. See studio for details.

FREE FILL WITH FIRST SET One discount per customer.

Gift Cards Available!

BEFORE

Spring Break Camp March 26 - 28

AFTER

Age 6 to 17 11am - 2pm at L.C.C.

Little Metro Spring Skills Academy & League April 1 - May 10

Sunny Aina 2127 Yolanda Ave. | Springfield, OR 97477 Call 541.335.1763 to schedule, or online at www.soleilrosespa.com

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541-343-5100 www.emfc.org

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Boys & Girls Ages 4-10 M & W or T & Th - Games on Fridays

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Board Games

That Teach Kids Math and Money Skills

BY KIMBERLY BLAKER

K

IDS NEED TO LEARN and master so many different concepts throughout childhood in preparation for the adult world. When adults think of learning, it is often thought of as an unpleasant experience of boring lessons, memorization, and testing that doesn’t have a real-life purpose. These methods are not always conducive to learning authentic information and understanding important concepts. Math is one of kids’ least-loved subjects for this very reason. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Children learn the most in both quality and quantity when done naturally through play. This is where board games come in, which take the pressure and frustration out of learning essential topics like math and money by presenting them in a more enjoyable and purposeful format. Kids of all ages can benefit from a broad number of board games available that allow them to learn through play. The following board game selection makes learning math and money concepts more fun from preschool to high school.

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1

Hi Ho! Cherry-o is an excellent game for young children to naturally practice counting, addition, and subtraction skills.

The concept is simple as each player spins to see how many fruit pieces to pick or remove from their basket. Ages 3-6

2

Feed the Woozle is a game for practicing preschool skills, including counting up to twelve during silly and cooperative play. It offers three different play levels to challenge growing children as they work together to feed the Woozle. Ages 3+

cash. Players practice counting out change and learn the value of money during play, with different levels of difficulty possible.

Ages 6+

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Mathological Liar is a detective game where players solve mysteries using math. Each player gets a suspect card and must determine if the math in their alibi is correct, meaning innocence, or incorrect, meaning guilty. There are boxes for each grade level from 2-6. Ages 6+.

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7

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Sum Swamp helps players become more fluent in addition and subtraction as they try to safely cross the swamp. Special spaces like evens, odds, and numbers add an extra challenge. Ages 5+ Cloud Hoppers works on subtraction practice, starting at 50 then counting down, as players embark on a quest to help their alien get down to the ground. Ages 6+

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Buy it Right is a shopping game where players buy, sell, and set prices for items using fake money that mimics real coins and

Three Sticks is a geometry game that operates in a similar way to Scrabble.

Players take turns trying to create shapes on a board while using only two sticks of various lengths during each turn. Ages 8+ Monster Sock Factory is a game to introduce and practice multiplication and division concepts. Players try to determine how many socks to pack and ship from the factory for monsters with different numbers of legs. Ages 8+ but can be adapted to younger players.

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“Play is our brain’s favorite way of learning.”

-Diane Ackerman

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Monopoly is a classic game dealing with money and economic concepts. You buy properties, pay rent, and manage your money as each player tries to take control. There are countless versions of this game to match a range of ages and interests. The original version is recommended for ages 8+

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The Game of Life teaches how the choices we make affect our finances and life, while surprises can affect even the most well-thought-out plans. Players use practical math skills while learning about life-long economic impacts, helping kids think about their financial futures. Ages 8+

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Managing My Allowance teaches players about money management and budgeting. Players make choices about how to spend or save the money they earn.

The game uses play cash for players to handle as they count out changes to their total and try to save money for college. Ages 8+

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Zeus on the Loose is a fast-paced math game using number cards to climb Mount Olympus and catch Zeus by getting the number total to a multiple

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of 10. Players use strategy, addition, and subtraction while managing other gods and goddesses’ effects along the way. Ages 8+

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Proof! is a game that works for a wide range of ages and abilities, depending on the players, to support mental math practice. The dealer lays down nine cards while players look at the cards to create an equation out of at least three available cards.

It can be made more or less challenging with variations on the basic game and can even be played solo. Ages 9+

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The Stock Exchange Game teaches players about the stock market and related concepts during strategy-based play with three play levels for varying difficulty.

The game uses play money and stock coins along with extras like world event cards that affect results. Ages 10+

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Prime Climb uses prime numbers, factorization, multiplication, and division along with strategy. Players roll the dice, move, and draw cards while navigating around other players to get both of their pawns to exactly 101. Ages 10+ ✦

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Movie Night

First sight of first love.

Jersey Summer Romance

BY BONNIE L. HARRIS

I

DON’T THINK I’LL EVER be able to look at sand crabs the same way again after watching the delightfully edgy Under the Boardwalk directed by David Soren. He also directed Turbo and Captain Underpants, which tells you a lot about his sense of humor. Like Turbo, which blends The Fast & The Furious with some hot-rod snails, Under UNDER THE BOARDWALK Nickelodeon Movies Rated: PG Streaming on Amazon

the Boardwalk melds the reality series Jersey Shore with the lives of a close-knit community of land crabs. Every summer, their quiet beach resort is overrun by pushy sea crab tourists and the locals have to cater to their snobbishness and wealth. Our hero, Armen, prefers to stay to himself in his shell after losing his parents, but his smarttalking, trouble-making friends urge him to be more outgoing.

When pretty sea crab Ramona visits with her mother and sister, Armen suddenly wishes he were more than the pool boy at the resort. Armen and Ramona are

thrown together after a rogue wave washes out the town, and they find themselves above the boardwalk in a novelty shop. Terrified, Armen follows Ramona’s lead to escape their cage, then the fun really begins when Ramona discovers the thrills and delights of cotton candy, flying t-shirts, and the death-defying roller coaster.

Getting back home is no easy task, but along the way, Armen not only loses his shell, but also his fear of the unknown with

Ramona’s help. Unfortunately, back home is in an uproar over their disappearance and the youngsters return right in the middle of the mayhem.

Thanks to Armen’s selflessness, catastrophe is averted and the animosity between sea crabs and land crabs is forgiven.

Packed with great animation, memorable characters, and a musical score to rival anything Disney has done lately, Under the Boardwalk is a toe-tapping, laugh-out-loud charmer. ✦

FOR the PARENTS

Row for the Boys

BOYS IN THE BOAT Amazon MGM Pictures, Rated: PG-13 Streaming on Amazon

O

NLY GEORGE CLOONEY could get me to cheer for the Washington Huskies, and I did a lot of cheering for his new film, The Boys in the Boat. Based on a true story and the best-selling book, the movie is about overcoming impossible odds during the Great Depression and the dedication it takes to win Olympic gold. The story of Joe Rantz, a poor boy from Sequim, WA, who learns to row crew at UW for food and a job, mixes with the fervent sportsmanship of Coach Al Ulbrickson, who’s under pressure to produce two winning rowing teams. Surprisingly, the JV team outpaces the varsity team in early regattas and earns their place competing against wealthier, more experienced ivy-league schools.

Clooney knows how to tell a story well and Joe’s life, his romance with a pretty classmate, and his struggle reuniting with a father who abandoned him, gives the film the emotional core that sends it racing

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A winning team. over the finish line. The film is not only nostalgic and endearing, but also a chilling foreshadow after a glimpse of the 1936 Berlin Olympics where the U.S. beats the German rowing team. Husky hating aside, The Boys in the Boat is a terrific must-see movie.

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eet handsome 11-year-old Retriever, BROCK! Don’t let his age fool you, he has plenty of pep in his step and is ready to settle down with his new family. This sweet boy came into the shelter as a stray and since has won over all of our hearts with his sweet demeanor and gentle manners. He would love to land in a mature household that enjoys daily walks around the neighborhood followed by snuggles on the couch. Brock would make a wonderful pup companion for any family looking for a loyal friend. We think once in his home; he will always be sure to greet you at the door.

Brock should meet any dog friends at the shelter prior to adoption and should have a slow introduction to any kitties. He should be great with kids so long as they respect his boundaries. Brock is neutered, microchipped, up to date on vaccines and weighs about 56 lbs. If you have room in your heart and home for a senior gentleman, Brock is the perfect pet!

Greenhill Humane Society is open seven days a week, 11 am – 6 pm at 88530 Green Hill Rd in Eugene. For more information call (541) 689.1503 or visit www. green-hill.org.

T

Rescue Spotlight

he Cat Rescue & Adoption Network presents WILEY, a distinguished senior tuxedo gentleman about 10 years old who is a master of love and companionship. Wiley’s true passion lies in showering his humans with adoration.

His day truly brightens when he gets to share some quality lap time with his favorite people. He is in excellent health and recently had a complete dental.

If you’re looking for a loving soul to share your home with, don’t miss the chance to bring home this charming boy. He has been neutered, vaccinated, microchipped, and is negative for FIV & FeLV. To meet Wiley, please call 541-225-4955 option 1, or visit our website at CatRescues.org for more info.

In Search of the Perfect Éclair

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BY RIKKI ASHER

ARIS, FRANCE, WITH MORE than one hundred baking styles, and patisserie’s on nearly every corner, is a pastry lover’s dream. Eclairs are my favorite, and while vacationing in fabulous Paris last summer, I was excited at the prospect of finding a delicious éclair, and thought it would be an easy challenge in Paris. It was not. I fancied a Parisian éclair with vanilla crème inside a light pastry, covered in dark chocolate icing; but to my surprise not one patisserie (that I could find) sold eclairs with these ingredients.

Upon returning to the US, I visited friends Nancy and Joe, in Eugene, Oregon. Eugene is very different from Paris, but one can find eclairs in both cities.

Paris is the home of café culture, where locals meet at cozy outdoor tables to enjoy a morning coffee, cigarettes, croissants, and chatter endlessly. Eugene also has its share of coffee shops, where folks seem a bit more reserved, enjoying coffee and croissants, with a book or mobile phone in hand.

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When I told my friends about the eclair disappointment, Nancy mentioned a bakery in downtown Eugene, called Sweet Life Patisserie (located at 755 Monroe Street). She phoned and was told they had plenty of freshly made eclairs that day. I was skeptical, and hopeful, but agreed to go. When we arrived, I saw it was more than just a bakery, but rather a combination of café and boulangerie. I was impressed by its boulangerie-style glass case displaying beautiful French pastries. There were rows of dainty pink, green, and yellow macaron sandwich cookies, ​​made with almond flour and meringue and lined with jam, buttercream, or ganache, scrumptious Napoleons, with layers of pastry filled with vanilla cream, topped with chocolate and vanilla icing swirls, and lo and behold, a tray of vanilla eclairs! We ordered three. As I took a bite, the cream, chocolate icing, and pastry dissolved in my mouth. I smiled and knew I had found the perfect éclair in Eugene, at Sweet Life Patisserie. ✦

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Familiar faces, expert care Here for your health and well-being.

Leslie Pelinka, MD Pediatrician and Lane County resident PeaceHealth Sacred Heart Medical Center at RiverBend

peacehealth.org/familiar-faces 24

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