Willamette Kids and Family Magazine November/December 2019

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(503)362-9548 www.BryanJohnsonOrthodontics.com

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appy Holidays!

As the holidays creep up on us, I find myself wondering how I can make this year’s celebrations different.

Not that the past years were bad... I just want to make this one as memorable as possible. My teens are getting older, and it’s hard to pin them down sometimes. I feel the clock ticking down to my son’s 18th birthday and I feel a bit of a panic to cherish every moment.

Add to that the usual stress surrounding the holidays, the fact that I just recently lost my sweet mama, my father is in poor health, I miss my grown kids, and I’m sure you can understand that the holidays aren’t something I’m looking forward to, completely. And while I always try to make my magazine so positive; this issue, I want to shine a light on just being real.

There’s a few less pages than usual, because to be honest- I just couldn’t get it together. So this issue is dedicated to all of us that are just scraping by... and from what I read, I know that’s the majority of us these days. I stand by my message that life is beautiful. It is! But it’s also hard. Sometimes, it’s really hard.

So many of us are fighting invisible battles.

Loss, stress, worry, frustration, disappointment, sadness, anxiety... I seem to cover all of those emotions in just a day, sometimes!

So here’s to all of us who are not quite feeling it this year. Here’s to celebrating the real fact that we may just be faking it till we make it, so it can still be a little bit magical for our kiddos.

I feel you, and we got this.

Big warm hugs,

Yvette 5

Nov/ Dec 2019 PUBLISHER Yvette Tripp

ISSUE 26

EDITOR Yvette Tripp

yvette@willamettekidsandfamily.com

GRAPHIC DESIGN Yvette Tripp ADVERTISING Yvette Tripp 307.797.6730

Willamette Kids & Family PO Box 266 Midwest, Wyoming 82643

www.willamettekidsandfamily.com Willamette Kids and Family is a free community bi-monthly publication. We are dedicated to being a central hub for information in the Salem - Keizer area, by providing a variety of current news and resources to help local Oregonians care for their families.

We promote neighborhood family-centered businesses by increasing their visibility within their target market. Willamette Kids and Family promotes peace and prosperity and never publish any information that could be construed as harmful or libelous. We never discriminate based on race, sex, religion or favorite brand of macaroni and cheese.

No content may be reproduced without written permission of the editor.

Copyright 2017-2020. All rights reserved

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Navigate Conflict with

Confidence (and Brain-Based Strategies)

When you first imagined how your relationship would be with your child, you probably envisioned the happy times you’d share engaged in a mutually-enjoyable activity. You probably didn’t imagine the challenges and the stress that are an inevitable result of navigating life with another person. Somehow, we may have believed our parent-child relationship would be safeguarded from those difficult experiences.

body regulation, empathy, morality, and an intuitive sense based on clues in our bodies (sometimes called a gut reaction or heart calling).

It turns out that how we navigate conflict with our child predicts quite a bit about how their life unfolds.

Dan Siegel, pioneer of the Interpersonal Neurobiology field, calls this formula The Four S’: children who feel seen, safe, and soothed by their parent or caregiver have a secure attachment with that person. Children who have a secure attachment to a caregiver develop an internalized sense of security. This inner security is what promotes stronger connections to that wise part of their brains.

Good news! It turns out the attachment and neuroscience research also uncovered three important clues that give us adults insight into how we can help our children attach securely to us and build a better brain.

According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, children who have experienced toxic stress and traumatic events are more likely to suffer a host of physical and mental dis-ease in their adult years.

Knowing this gives extra importance to our role as parents and caregivers.

Additionally, researchers in a field called Interpersonal Neurobiology, in a study of the intersection of child attachment and neuroscience, discovered that a “secure” relationship with a parent or caregiver strengthens connections to an important part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex.

We are, in effect, architects of our children’s brains.

No pressure, right? Not to worry. Let’s break down the three clues of our kids feeling seen, safe, and soothed for secure attachment and establish some practical steps for connecting in these ways.

The pre-frontal cortex is responsible for emotional balance, self-awareness, the ability to be in choice instead of reactive to our environment,

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WISE

PAREN

T

Teen Example: We’re both getting worked up about this conversation. Can we take some time to cool off and come back to it in half an hour? I can listen better when I’m calm. (Parent is modeling self-soothing process for teen.)

Children feel seen when their caregiver senses the needs and inside feelings and thoughts behind their behavior.

Kid Example: I know you felt so frustrated and really wanted the toy they had. It was hard to wait. Let’s find something else that looks fun or ask them if we can have a turn.

Keep in mind, these examples are short demonstrations of typically much larger processes.

If you find yourself snickering at the simplicity and thinking it’ll never work, consider investing time in learning about healthy communication - whether that’s a google search, book, podcast, or professional versed in neuroscience and attachment.

Teen Example: You are really wanting some downtime after you get home from school. I’m thinking that’s why you didn’t get the dishwasher unloaded, am I right? (Pause for confirmation.) Let’s figure out a way you can get some healthy downtime and get that done next time.

Children feel safe when their caregiver avoids saying or doing things that frighten or hurt them.

Example: caregiver is aware of the effect of their posture, facial expression, movements, and words; taking some time in with themselves away from their child or teen when they feel angry.

It might be helpful to brainstorming a spec list for each of the three clues for each one of your children. (This works great for partners, too.)

You might even directly ask them what you do that results in them feeling seen, safe, and soothed. Keep in mind that each of us have a different perception of each one of these, and your child’s answer might not match your idea for them. That doesn’t matter when it comes to the three clues of secure attachment. What matters is their perception and interpretation of your behavior.

Children feel soothed when a caregiver helps them deal with difficult emotions and situations (ie, time-in instead of time-out).

Kid Example: You’re having a big feeling about having your book taken. Let’s take a minute to feel better before we try to solve the problem.

(Parent takes a few long exhales or offers a hug or other soothing action.)

Jenifer offers digestible, useable neuroscience and practical tools from trauma and resiliency research to youth, parents, and educators through her books, coaching services, mindfulness classes, and trainings.

Learn more at www.wisemindservices.com

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Comfort & Joy

French Toast Wraps

1 cup blueberries 1 cup strawberries, sliced, plus additional

for garnish (optional) 1 cup bananas, sliced 1 cup vanilla yogurt 1/4 cup granola 1 egg 1/4 cup milk 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 6-8 tortillas 2 teaspoons butter 4-6 teaspoons powdered sugar, for garnish (optional)

White Hot Chocolate 3 cups Half & Half 2/3 cup white chocolate baking pieces 1 3 inch cinnamon stick 1/8 tsp ground nutmeg 1 tsp vanilla 1/4 tsp almond extract Ground Cinnamon (optional) Whipped Cream (optional) 1. In a medium saucepan combine 1/4 of the half & half, white chocolate baking pieces, cinnamon stick and nutmeg. Stir over low to medium heat until white chocolate is melted.

2. Add remaining half & half. Stir and cook until heated through. Remove from heat. Discard cinnamon stick.

3. Add in vanilla and almond extract. Stir until mixed through.

4. Pour into your favorite mug(s). Top with whipped cream and sprinkle with ground cinnamon.

5. Recipe adapted from Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.

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1. In medium bowl, combine blueberries, strawberries, bananas, yogurt and granola. 2. Mix well and set aside.

3. Using pie plate, crack egg and whisk. 4. 4. Add milk, cinnamon and nutmeg; whisk until combined.

5. Coat both sides of tortillas in egg mixture.

6. In skillet, melt butter. Place coated tortillas one at a time in pan and cook 2-3 minutes on each side until golden brown. 7. Move to plate.

8. Spoon yogurt mixture into center of tortillas. Fold edges over to form wraps.

9. Dust each with powdered sugar and top with additional strawberry slices, if desired.

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Find these and more delicious holiday recipes at www.culinary.net.

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No parent sets out to raise a spoiled brat.

Always with the best intentions, we aim to give our kids better than what we had- or to reward them with everything that we feel they deserve.

Being a parent in today’s society can be especially tough, with the sense of entitlement prevalent in everything from advertising, to peer pressure, sports and social media influences, and the instant gratification that comes from today’s technology. Living in these times of surplus can often numb our sensitivities needed to differientiate between needs and wants.

And it seems that the holidays sometimes increase the entitled tendancies in our otherwise precious and darling angels.

Teaching our children to be grateful goes far beyond just good manners.

It’s more than just the rote memorization of “Please” and “ Thank You”, and it’s also more than donating to the needy or less fortunate. While these are of course, wonderful lessons for our children, instilling gratitude goes deeper toward teaching our children to find happiness, no matter their surroundings.

So how do we as parents, help nurture graciousness (which isn’t a natural trait, by the way), within our kids?

Help them be aware.

Daily gentle reminders and awareness can help hone your child’s social skills.

By verbally acknowledging when someone has gone out of their way for you personally or your family, you help your child see a situation outside their typical self-centered scope.

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An example of this might be, “We are so fortunate that your dad made time to help us load the car for your baseball game. I know he had a lot to do already, but he made time for us and now we can leave without being in a rush.” This helps your child recognize that simple gestures by others go a long way toward making our lives easier. Stating that Dad

had other responsibilities too, gives his action value, and mentioning the outcome “...now we can leave without being in a rush.” helps your child see the benefit of Dad’s actions on him/her personally.

Talking about what the other person gave up, and what your child gained from it is a quick way to bring it to attention without resorting to lecturing, which we all know tends not to work.

Help them savor the moments.

Encouraging our children to slow down and savor a moment can also benefit them by helping them appreciate what they do have, and adds intrinsic value to experiences and things they enjoy. Conversations that utilize recalled memories of the anticipation and joy and the reward of waiting, can also add value.

Show them the way.

This can be easier said than done sometimes, but by modeling gratefulness in every day adventures, we have the power to promote happiness.

An example of this from my own life comes from my family’s love affair with our car. You might picture a fancy new SUV, or sports car, but I assure you- we are totally in love with “Big Bertha” our 11 year old beat up, big-bodied van, which faithfully starts every morning as we pat her on the dashboard and tell her “Good Job, Bertha!” This is a fun reminder to the kids that blessings can be found everywhere and there is plenty in this life to be grateful for.

Helping our kids learn to be grateful will go a long way toward their happiness as adults, and that- is a gift worth giving.

This same effect can come from making them wait for certain events or things that they are just sure they cannot live without. This reminds me of the child, Veruca Salt, in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. “I want it NoooOOOoow!” Could you imagine making that child wait? Yikes.

Try This!

Start a gratitude jar, where everyone in the family writes down things they’re grateful for and puts them in the jar.

Help them know the difference.

Make a big deal that you’re going to add something to the jar. You could say something like, “I’m so grateful that Aunt Sarah baked us bread. It’s delicious and I’m going to add that to the jar.”

It is unfair to expect our children to appreciate the bounty of their lives if they don’t recognize it. As adults, we know that there is nothing like lean times to help us appreciate the times of plenty. The same holds true with our children.

Watch as your child starts to look for things to add too.

A great conversation starter, and sneaky way to get in a gratitude lesson is to play a game of “What if...” By sprinkling in questions such as “What if we lived somewhere cold and had no heat?” or “What if we didn’t have a car and we had to walk all the way to the grocery store?” alongside silly and fun questions, we help bring awareness to the daily things that often get taken for granted by adults and kids alike.

When the jar is full, pull out the slips of paper to remember the kindnesses and blessings you have recieved.

What a great way to remind our kiddos that life is indeed GOOD!

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Give a gift they will remember...

(One you won’t have to clean up!)

SALEM Bounce House Punch cards & Gift cards: www.superbouncesalem.com Little Tots Indoor Playground Giftcards: mysalemgymnasticscenter.com Dance Classes: preregister at www.starrstudiossalem.com Swim Lessons: The Kroc Center and YMCA offer swim lessons.

Acting Classes: Children’s Educational Theater www.cetsalem.org Carousel Tokens: 101 Front St NE, Salem OR 97301 Ticket To Play Gift Certificates: www.salemtickettoplaycafe.com Family Photographs: www.shelbyblantonphotography.com Horseback Riding: Gift Certificates Available. www.cnrhorse.com Pizza Party with friends: Personalize your gift card at www.pietrosrestaurants.com from $15 to $500 YMCA membership: 2 adults & dependents Join Fee $99 Monthly $82 Income based options available.

Movie Passes: Northern Lights Gift Cards $10 to $100 order online www.northernlightstheatrepub.com Paintball Gift Certificates: Groupon has great deals on local paintball adventures.

Escape Room: Family friendly at Northern Lights $29 per person ages 13+ www.northernlightstheatrepub.com PORTLAND Oregon Zoo Membership: 2 adults 4 children $169 Special tours $45 per person. www.oregonzoo.com Museum yearly pass: OMSI 2 adults 4 children $115 pr year. www.omsi.edu/membership Gilbert House Membership: Family Membership $95 www.acgilbert.org/gift-certificates LEBANON: Train ride Santiam Excursion Trains Lebanon, OR Gift Certificates purchase online. santiamexcursiontrains.com SILVERTON: Family Membership to Oregon Garden. $100 www.theoregongarden.weebly.com MCMINNVILLE: Wings and Waves Waterpark $149 per person for 12 months. www.wingsandwaveswaterpark.com WINSTON: Wildlife Safari 1790 Safari Road Winston, OR 97496 MOLALLA: Alpacas At Marquam Hill Ranch Farm Tour: $16 per person Gift Certificates available. www.mhralpacas.com COAST: Seaside Helicopter Tour- $55 per person 3 person minimum. www.seaside-helicopters.com Whale watching trip Adults $45 Children $35 www.oregonwhales.com/whale-watching/ GENERAL: National Park yearly Passes: $80 www.discovernw.org Magazine Subscription: varies www.magazines.com

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GRAND TREE LIGHTING Tuesday, December 3rd in the Capitol Rotunda

5:00 PM-5:30 PM Holiday Performance

by Sprague High School 5:30 PM-6:00 PM Grand Tree Lighting Celebration 6:00 PM-7:00 PM Free photo with Santa Claus Free Cookies and Punch

performances Monday through Saturday December 4th to December 24th 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM View performance schedule at OregonCapitol.com For more information contact Visitor Services 503-986-1388

presenting sponsor:

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November 2

November 6

Salem- Harvest Festival

11am-2pm Free, Family Friendly Event!

Come to Center 50+ for free chili lunch, arts and crafts, Spanish Bingo, Flex and Fab Exercise, and more. People can enjoy all the different 30 minute activities.

Center 50+ 2615 Portland Rd

12 PM – 10 PM Table fees are half-price every Wednesday Ticket to Play Board Game Cafe 5008 Commercial St SE www.salemtickettoplaycafe.com

November 6

Albany- Kids Craft Day

November 3

Family Clay Sunday

1- 4pm Every Sunday through November 10. For $10.00, up to 4 family members can each create that week’s project, then return the following week to glaze (and make the new project, as well!).

Willamette Art Center 1820 Silverton Road NE, Salem, Oregon 97301 www.willametteartcenter.com

November 5 - Dec 17

Salem- Youth Resilience Series

(Most appropriate for ages 9-15) $100 Breathing skills, Movement based on yoga, Games, Stories and art, relaxation techniques. jenifer.trivelli@gmail.co

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Salem- Half Price Day Ticket to Play Board Game Cafe

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4PM- 5PM Come join us for crafting fun!

Albany Public Library 2450 14th Ave SE, Albany, Oregon 97322

November 7

Albany-Downtown Unwrapped

4 PM – 7 PM see the unveiling of merchant’s holiday windows! Stop in at Downtown businesses for a Holiday Open House. Holiday shopping and dinner.

Don’t forget to try a special “unwrapped” cocktail or dessert!

Friends from Christmas Storybook Land will be strolling the streets with candy canes.Albany Downtown Association 126 Ferry St SW, Albany, Oregon 97321 www.albanydowntown.com

November 8

November 26

6PM-9PM FREE Games, crafts and activities are planned for the kids and trained, responsible adults are here for the little ones. All children, aged 9 months to 5th grade, are welcome. No RSVP needed... just come on down!

Morningside United Methodist Church 3674 12th St SE, Salem, Oregon 97302

9 AM – 12 PM Join us during Thanksgiving Week for a free family fishing derby in Cascades Gateway Park at Walter Wirth Lake. OR Dept of Fish and Wildlife will be joining us and providing poles. Hosted

by City of Salem Recreation Services.

Cascades Gateway City Park 2100 Turner Rd SE, Salem, Oregon 97302

Salem- Free Fishing Derby

Salem- Parents Night Out

November 8

Salem- American Indian/Alaskan Native Celebration

November 30

Salem-Read to a Pet

Open to the Public. 6PM- 9PM Come and enjoy a family evening filled with storytelling, music, dancing and dinner.

Register at: http://bit.ly/33nYmNY Willamette University’s Cat Cavern 935 Mill Street Salem, OR 97301 Hosted

by Salem Keizer Public Schools

1PM Young readers are invited to read to one of our friendly 4-footed, furry volunteers and their human partners from 1 - 2:30 pm in the Children’s area. Reading to one of these captivated listeners is a fantastic way for kids to boost their reading confidence!

Salem Public Library (Salem, OR) 585 Liberty St SE, Salem, Oregon 97301 (503) 588-6315 library@cityofsalem.net

November 9

Salem- Coping With Grief at the Holidays Workshop

9 AM – 12 PM The holidays can be a particularly hard time when grieving the loss of a loved one. Join us for a time of learning tactics to help and enjoy a holiday craft of remembrance. Families with children are welcome. Please call to RSVP only if children will be attending. (503) 588-3600 Willamette Valley Hospice 1015 3rd St NW, Salem, Oregon 97304 www.wvh.org

November 12

Salem- Evening Support Group

6 pm - 7:30pm Join us every 2nd and 4th Tuesday.

Pregnancy & postpartum mood disorders, such as depression and anxiety, affect so many of us in different ways and we could all benefit from social peer support. During this time you will feel heard and see that you’re not alone. Arrive when hon can and leave when you need to. Babes in arms welcome. From the Heart - Birth Doula Services 2111 Front St NE, Ste 200 (above the Oregon School of Massage), Salem, Oregon 97301

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December 4

December 1

Albany-Kids Craft Day 4PM- Come make art with us at the Al-

Albany- Downtown Christmas Parade & Tree Lighting

4 PM – 6 PM Entries typically include the Albany Trolley, horse-drawn wagons, community groups, schools, businesses and Santa riding on Albany’s Antique Fire Truck! Free Horse-drawn Wagon rides.

Albany Downtown Association 126 Ferry St SW, Albany, Oregon 97321 www.albanydowntown.com

December 3

Salem-Capitol Tree Lighting

Tuesday, December 3rd in the Capitol Rotunda 5:00 PM-5:30 PM Holiday Performance by Sprague High School 5:30 PM6:00 PM Grand Tree Lighting Celebration 6:00 PM-7:00 PM Free photo with Santa Claus Free Cookies and Punch 900 Court Street, Salem 97301

bany Library! Bring a friend! pin Albany Public Library 2450 14th Ave SE, Albany, Oregon 97322 www.library.cityofalbany.net

December 4

Salem-The Santa Clause Movie at the Elsinore

2 PM & 7 PM Tickets are $6 each and can be purchased at the Elsinore Theatre or online (service fee applies). Box office and doors open 45 minutes prior to each show. Snacks and drinks, including beer and wine, available for purchase.

Call 503-375-3574 for more information. www.elsinoretheatre.com

December 6

Albany-ACT Presents A Christmas Carol

December 4

Salem-Half Price Day Ticket To Play Board Game Cafe

12 PM – 10 PM Table fees are half-price every Wednesday Ticket to Play Board Game Cafe 5008 Commercial St SE www.salemtickettoplaycafe.com

Performances: December 6, 7, 8(m), 13, 14, 15(m), 19, 20, 21Evenings at 7:30pm, Matinees at 2:30pm $14 General Admission $11 Discount Albany Civic Theater 111 1st Ave W, Albany, Oregon 97321 www.albanycivic.org

December 1-24

December 7

Portland- Zoolights

Salem- Native American Flute Concert

See a dazzling display of more than 1.5 million lights, Ride the popular lighted train and carousel, and enjoy hot drinks and local food carts. Photos with Santa will be available for the little ones every evening. Buy tickets online save $2 www.shop.oregonzoo.org

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6 PM – 9 PM Admission: $10 suggested donation. A beautiful evening of enchanting music that benefits programs that help the homeless. Featuring SEVEN well known Native American Flute performers and members of the One Heart Flute

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Circle. First Congregational United Church of Christ - Salem, Oregon 700 Marion Street, Salem, Oregon

Elsinore Theatre 170 High St SE, Salem, Oregon 97301 www.elsinoretheatre.com

December 12

December 21

Keizer- Candy Cane Day

Albany- The Nutcracker presented by Legacy Ballet and LBCC

9AM-6PM Santa makes a special trip from the North Pole with Candy Canes for all of the kids. Look for Santa on the Fire Truck riding around Keizer! Santa will also be available at the Fire Station for a drive thru experience on December 21st from 10 am until 4 pm. Keizer Fire District 661 Chemawa Rd NE, Keizer 97303

7PM-10 PM The Nutcracker presented by Legacy Ballet. Thursday December 12th 7pm, Friday December 13th 7pm and Saturday December 14th 2pm and 7pm.

Tickets $15 each available soon at www. linnbenton.edu/tickets. Russell Tripp Performance Center 6500 Pacific Blvd SW, Albany, Oregon 97321

December 20

December 13

Corvallis- Family Movie Swim

7PM-9PM A different family-friendly movie will be projected pool side each month. Call for details. (541) 766-7946 All ages welcome! Regular Admissions Rates Apply. Osborn Aquatic Center 1940 NW Highland Dr, Corvallis, Oregon 97330

Salem- Salem Holiday Market

Friday, December 13th: 5:30pm - 8:30 pm Saturday, December 14th: 10am - 6pm​ ​Sunday, December 15th: 10am - 4pmJackman Long Building Fairgrounds 2330 17th St NE, Salem, OR 97301 www.salemcommunitymarkets.com/

December 14

Keizer-Holiday Lights Parade

7PM Keizer kicks off the Christmas season the way it oughta be done -- with a parade!

Parade steps off along River Road beginning at 7 PM.

TRIAL CLASS!

December 15

Keizer-Santa Pancake Breakfast

7:30 AM – 11:30 AM Enjoy all you can eat Sausage, Eggs, Pancakes, Coffee and Milk. Make sure and bring you camera for pictures with Santa! $6 for adults, $3 for children 3-12, 2 and under free. Keizer Fire District 661 Chemawa Rd NE, Keizer, Oregon 97303

December 19

Salem- A Christmas Story: The Musical

A Christmas Story, The Musical will bring an exciting new dimension to those who have seen the movie and will certainly stand on its own for those who haven’t.

Doors open 1 hour before the show Tickets $29/$37/$47/$59

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NON-CANDY STOCKING IDEAS Cute bandaids* lip balm* lego minifigures* bathbombs* flashlights* paperback books* funky socks* bouncy balls* hot wheels* glow sticks* beef sticks* tangerines* bubble bath* card games* markers* hair bows* nail kits* silly string* harmonica* dvd* magic 8 ball* jewelry* crazy straw* earbuds* sunglasses* gift cards* jump rope*

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