2009-05-01 outlook: columbus - the urban living issue by Outlook Media, Inc

may 2009 â&#x20AC;˘ vol 14 issue 0

inside: condo hop Jan Gorniak Meyer & dial food drama! Savage Love scratch & sniff nina pin up agenda living near a gas station from queer to eternity & Local celebrity Kiki

may2009

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welcome to the premier issue of outlook: columbus! You hold in your hands the premier issue of the new face of local progressive and queer media – the first issue of outlook:columbus. What you are about to read is a mixture of politics, commentary, insight, and opinion that, with few exceptions, you simply cannot find anywhere else except in the pages of an outlook media product. You, our friends, family, and community here in central Ohio and beyond, have midwifed our birthing something that OctoMom could only dream about. And you, our advertisers and sponsors, have been seminal in giving us the support we need to create and grow this bold concept. To all of you we extend our sincerest gratitude. Our motto for the new magazine is “everything is political.” We are all wrapped up in politics, as subtle as that might be. As we are the queer printed voice - strongly, proudly, and unapologetically rooted in the queer community and movement in town - we recognize that everything we do is political. We recognize that the GLBTQ and allied people supporting us are more pig than chicken. Advertising in the pages of a queer publication is making a political statement, as is attending a networking event hosted by a queer media company or having drinks with friends at a queer bar. Telling your

outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management.

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stories and speaking your truths, even when your voice shakes, is political activism at its core. Reading a queer magazine in public, then leaving it on your desk or your coffee table, silently speaks volumes. Welcome to the future of local queer and progressive media. Enjoy our new format. We think it’s a feast for your mind and your eyes. What’s in here is our hearts, our loves, our losses, our strengths, our victories, our hopes, our desires, our fears, our failings, our smiles, and our tears. We’ve tried to leave nothing on the table, to hold nothing back. As we’ve said before, this is your paper. Share in its creation. Shout with – or against – our columnists. Celebrate our wins, share our losses, and kick our asses when we need it. Words fail miserably to express our gratitude to those who walked this path before us, and those who walk it with us now. We hope we do you all justice. Thank you one and all! With love, Chris & Michael

you are here

insightout

fashion forward

snapshot

common life

trippin’ out

q-munity

queer to eternity

creative class

poli sci

in a hayes

41 deep inside hollywood

open kimono

pull out

gay agenda about town

41 23 frames per second

earth talk

feature: urban

interview

gaily fwd >

feature: living

savage love

small pond

30 feature: hops & tours 46

local celebrity

gayatri

astro forecast

food drama!

outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2009 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

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may2009

NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 8, 2009

THEE I THOLD THU THATH WE WOOTHANT GETH THUK

GOOCH! THERE SHE IS!

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DAVID CUNNINGHAM?

NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 8, 2009

CANDI, CANDI, CANDI I CAN’T LET YOU GO...

“SO A PHARMASIST, AN INDIAN & A STRAIGHT GUY GO TO THIS NETWORKING EVENT...”

MOLLY & THE MONEYMAKERS: THE BEST CABARET ACT WEST OF PECOS

AND THE PHARMASIST SAYS ‘THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED A BURRITO!” I’M HERE ALL WEEK.

NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 8, 2009

WHITE PARTY PALM SPRINGS

HEY BARBER..., HAND CHECK!

SERIOUSLY BARBER, WATCH THAT HAND!

THE COLUMBUS INVASION

WHITE PARTY PALM SPRINGS

THE PERRY TWINS...WAIT A MINUTE...SOMETHINGS NOT...

LESBIAN LICKING GOOD!

CUTIE PROMOTER STEVEN ELLIOT FROM ATLANTA AFTER A FEW LONG ISLANDS

HI! I’M A HANDSOME NETWORKER

NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 8, 2009

WHICH ONE IS THE REAL CAROL BURNETT?

WHITE PARTY PALM SPRINGS

JOSH & DESIGNER WILDMAN T YES THEY HOOKED UP

may 2009

So you didn’t make the print version? don’t cry... I bet you’re online. Find yourself at www.flickr.com/outlookweekly

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A dress form is used to give a three-dimensional view on the article of clothing that is being sewn. A mannequin is Old Navyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s way around hiring union workers.

may 2009

COLUMBUS AIDS TASK FORCE AND PEGGY ANDERSON

AIDS Service Organizations (ASOs) across the country have always fought to stay afloat through funding bureaucracy, donor apathy and limited resources. They, like most businesses today, are feeling the impact of the current economic climate. Non-profits like the Columbus AIDS Task Force, are scrambling to maintain sustainability of not only their services, but the companies themselves. Times like these are forcing ASOs to find creative solutions to survive. Mergers, resource shares, and restructuring are all on the table, but will these solutions be enough?

“We also find that people forget that we need to pay for space to work,” Anderson continues, “as well as for employee insurances, office space; copies and supplies; office staff to manage operations; and other necessary business related expenses. We aren’t extravagant, but with limited staff, we can only do so much.”

Despite the admin cuts and double duties, actual services to the community have not decreased. CATF provided over 1500 HIV tests; served over 1100 individuals living with HIV through case management; assisted with housing for over Peggy Anderson echoes that concern. The 500 individuals; provided mental health Interim Director for CATF says that they services to over 190 individuals living had to make significant cuts in order to with HIV; and answered over 2000 maintain services for their clients and the AIDS/HIV/STD hotline calls in 2008. They community. Like most nonprofits, they aren’t slowing down. In fact this year has saw a drop in both individual contribushown the Task Force exceeding numbers tions and revenue from fundraising for testing; exceeding prevention/educaevents, which lead the board to make tion programming goals; increasing numsome serious administrative cuts. In De- ber of intakes for those living with HIV – cember of last year, CATF cut 4 important, particularly those recently laid off or expenon grant-funded positions (Advanceriencing difficulty in this economy; and an ment Director, Finance Director, Volunteer 18-month waiting list for long term housCoordinator, and Receptionist) and deing. cided to postpone hiring a permanent CEO. Remaining unfilled, the duties of As a provider of so many critical services, these positions still need to be executed CATF is a critical part of the area’s healthand so the current staff are takening on care service web, and local politicians extra duties to try to cover the gaps. and funding sources have been supportive of the agency and its work. “We’ve “It’s incredibly difficult to get it all done,” been very fortunate to work with partners says Anderson. “With increased account- who want to see us succeed,” Anderson ability and reporting by granting entities, says. “We have received significant asit becomes increasingly difficult to meet sistance from Columbus Public Health. those requirements with our current staff. We are sub-grantees for the HOPWA I believe in more accountability, but I hope funds in central Ohio, and CPH has been that funders will think of the burden it very helpful in decreasing our turnaround puts on each of us, especially with little to time for reimbursement funding. Without no assistance in funding those areas.” their help, we could never have kept this $600,000 program alive.” But isn’t that always the plight of the nonprofit? As reward for doing good, Funding for any agency like CATF is a spimeaningful work, don’t we expect nonder’s web of requirements, documentaprofits and their employees to do more tion, audits, grant proposals, and red and get paid less compared to their for- tape, which Anderson and her staff must profit counter parts? complete to stay afloat. One option for reducing the percentage of resources de“I believe this is true,” Anderson agrees. voted to this sort of paperwork and “Often, the general community believes tracking is for ASOs to merge or share opthat non-profits should continue to do erational support. Would such a model more with less. At some point, this bework in Ohio and what would the political comes impossible. Workers in non-profits fallout be? should be paid equitably based on their job role; however, nonprofits can only af- “In the past several years, many ASOs ford what grants and other contributions across the country have fallen into diffiallow. Even though agencies receive culty, often financial,” Anderson says. funding, there are strict limitations on “Several have closed, others have how and what those funds can be allomerged, and some are still hanging on as cated for and often doesn’t include staff. independent entities. CATF and the other

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may 2009

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ASOs in Ohio believe that services to the community are the most important thing to save, not necessarily each of the agencies individually. Having said that, and while no formal merger plans are on the table, many of Ohio’s larger ASOs have started talking about how to share expenses and take advantage of economies of scale where practical.” The political fallout, says Anderson, is mostly in perception at the local level. “Communities like to own their organizations,” she says, “and so having a larger state-wide or regional group run services instead of a more local organization might alienate some current donors.” In years past, AIDS walks were large events put on jointly by many organizations. Last year, the Columbus AIDSWalk was organized totally in-house by CATF. “The OAC (Ohio AIDS Coalition) came to us last year and asked that we take AIDSWalk to save the event,” Anderson says. “The event takes significant time, volunteer coordination, logistical setup, and organization to make it run smoothly. With CATF having a large volunteer pool and a larger staff to share responsibilities, we agreed to take on the event. The benefiting agencies met throughout the year prior to AIDSWalk 2008 and agreed to the current arrangement. Large scale events are difficult to pull off without an entity still responsible for the overall operations and accountability. The planning group believes that the main purpose behind AIDSWalk is awareness with a secondary benefit of raising funds. We’ve accomplished that with last year’s event.” Events in other Ohio cities have seen their numbers fall, and Cleveland has announced that this year’s AIDSWalk is that city’s last. Even in the face of these statistics, the Columbus event seems to be holding its own. “The turnout the day of the walk was improved last year over the 2006 AIDSWalk,” Anderson says proudly, “and the new space and format was well received. We scaled back the event, cut cost dramatically (over $20,000), and the event made just over $59,000. That was an improvement from $42,000 in 2006. The benefiting agencies currently include Project Open Hand, Ohio AIDS Coalition, FACES/Nationwide Children’s Hospital, Union County AIDS Task Force, Delaware County AIDS Task Force, Camp Sunrise, and First Love.” AIDSWalk 2009, under the direction of CATF, will be Jul 25, with registration starting at 7:30a and stepoff from the Franklin Park Conservatory at

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marcie Hallan, Regina Sewell, E Magazine, Adam Lippe, Romeo San Vicente, Jack Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Dan Savage CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Danner-Morris, Robert Trautman

8:30a. Keeping HIV and AIDS in the public eye and managing the perception of the disease plays a strong role in the success of events like AIDSWalk, and of agencies like CATF. “I think that public perception about HIV/AIDS changes a lot of our fundraising efforts,” Anderson says. “HIV hasn’t been the trendy disease to support for a few years now. Many of us in healthrelated service organizations have walks to support our causes, and the diseases or causes which are on the forefront or in the news are the ones with the most supporters.” Misperception about HIV and AIDS may contribute to its loss of ‘trendiness’ as a high-media disease. “We have a disease that is fortunately not an immediate death threat any more,” Anderson comments. “Those living with HIV can live a healthy life for years if they get tested and have access to the care they need. Unfortunately, many people believe the fight is over. We still need to educate the community, find those that are living with HIV, and provide treatment when needed. We can’t do those things without support from the community. Grants cover much of our programming, but more than staff is needed to provide those services.” At the beginning of the HIV crisis, many if not most outreach campaigns had a certain fear-based component to them, but more recently public health providers have made a point to take the fear factor out of prevention campaigns, thinking that doing so would remove some of the stigma and ostracism of people living with AIDS. Under the Bush Administration, all prevention campaigns focused only on abstinence. Most health experts agree that the abstinence route simply won’t work, but what about giving fear a role once again? “This is a complicated question,” Anderson admits. “Fear-based models have proven not to work for other topics such as drugs and smoking. I think we need to use models that have proven to work in other campaigns. I firmly believe that a comprehensive sex education program is needed in schools because many of our behaviors, and our attitudes toward those behaviors, are formed during that time in our development. Cleveland has made great progress in this area, and I hope that other communities see the importance of this soon.”

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Free & anonymous/confidential rapid hiv testing is available at the CATF Tue from 3:30p - 7:30p and Wed from 11a - 2 p.

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES

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Columbus Pride Holiday is a week earlier this year and in a new location: June 19-20 at Goodale Park.

may 2009

by Wayne Besen

Marriage: The Writing Is On The Barn Wall

ice cream. Well, okay, that didn’t happen - but the Washington, Only ten years ago, it looked like D.C. Council did vote 12-0 to recgay people would not be able to ognize same-sex marriages permarry until the cows came home. formed in other states. With an Iowa Supreme Court victory and the state legislature ap- “It’s no secret that I have been proving marriage in Vermont, gay working on legislation that would couples will soon be coming take us further,” said openly gay home to their cows - with marCouncil member David A. Catania riage licenses in hand. The farm (I-At Large) “This is the march teams have brought us major toward human rights and equalleague victories and reinvigoity. This is not the march toward rated the GLBT marriage move- special rights. This is the equal ment. march and that march is coming here.” “Today we have overridden the governor’s veto,” Vermont Sen- The barrier breaking in Iowa and ate President Pro Tem Peter Vermont rightfully caused a bit of Shumlin said in a written stateurban envy in some places. Garment released by the Human den State Equality chair, Steven Rights Campaign. “I have never Goldstein, wasted no time scoldfelt more proud of Vermont as we ing New Jersey’s lawmakers for become the first state in the falling behind the times. New Jercountry to enact marriage equal- sey currently has a Civil Unions ity, not as the result of a court law, but has dragged its feet on a order, but because it is the right marriage upgrade. thing to do.” “New Jersey legislators, when It feels odd to be partying like it’s will you wake up and smell the 1999 in 2009. Just several long inequality?” asked Goldstein. months ago, the GLBT movement “Today’s enactment of a marsuffered a stinging marriage de- riage equality law in Vermont feat in California. But, our short marks the official end of the period of tribulation was swiftly failed civil union era in America. followed by surprising jubilation. Civil union laws now join the It was downright shocking to see Edsel, New Coke and 8-Track hog-wild homosexuals dancing in Tapes in the dustbin of history’s the streets of Des Moines. For failed inventions.” anti-gay organizations, the once easy game of whack-a-marriage While the cows may have come is feeling more like whack-ahome in some places - it will take mole. They can’t be sure where flying pigs to get states like Mismarriage equality will pop up sissippi to allow marriage equalnext. ity. Still, with advances in Iowa and Vermont, the writing is on On the same day that marriage the barn wall for social conservafor gay couples was legalized in tives. Vermont, ice cream mogul Ben proposed on one knee to Jerry in “The battle over same-sex marWaterbury, saying that they went riage is on the way to being lost,” together like cookie dough and wrote Cal Thomas, a founder of

the modern Religious Right. He went on to say that those who think they can count on the political system to win are “closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge.” Recognizing the direction the nation is rapidly going, Thomas who is still anti-gay - questioned the priorities of his Bible-beating brethren: “To those on the political and religious right who are intent on continuing the battle to preserve ‘traditional marriage’ in a nation that is rapidly discarding its traditions,” wrote Thomas, “I would ask this question: What poses a greater threat to our remaining moral underpinnings? Is it two homosexuals living together, or is it the number of heterosexuals who are divorcing and the increasing number of children born to unmarried women, now at nearly 40 percent, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention?” The big question on everyone’s mind is will the Iowa Supreme Court decision amplify pressure on the California Supreme Court justices to overturn Proposition 8? I don’t know if we will win, but I do think it increases the odds. After all, Californians are known for surfing large waves and the recent wins in Iowa and Vermont certainly qualify. Our opponents will milk the marriage battle as long as it remains a cash cow. But with gay couples marrying in the countryside, it is clear what direction the country is headed. © 2009 Wayne Besen. All rights reserved. Anything But Straight, www.waynebesen.com.

62% SOURCE: GALLUP

may 2009

CATEGORY

JAN 20 ’09

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DIFFERENCE

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DAYS IN OFFICE

There are 154,000 dairy cows in Vermont and 209,000 in Iowa. So how come we never see ads for Iowa Cheddar?

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To our knowledge, no definitive study has ever been done on the sexual orientation of gnomes.

may 2009

By Michael Daniels Photo: Danner-Morris Jan Gorniak cuts a striking profile. A tall handsome woman with the build of a model, she strides into the lobby of the Franklin County Coroner’s Office, her white lab coat embroidered simply “Dr. Gorniak, Coroner.”

Outreach and Autopsy: Coroner Jan M Gorniak 10

may 2009

Dr. Whyman escorts me back down to the morgue, where I m greeted by Gorniak in bright pink scrubs. “I’m ordering new scrubs for everyone,” she announces to the staff. “The catalog is here and you all can get whatever design you want. But if you don t let me know by the deadline, you get Gorniak is responsible for a staff of 28 and a budget of $3.1M pink, ”she laughs. annually. Her office is tasked with determining the cause and manner of death for more than 20,000 deceased annually, I put foot booties over my shoes and a disposable gown over conducting more than 11,000 autopsies – more than 3 per my clothes. Gloves and a facemask complete the ensemble day, every day. Her staff works 24/7/365. Crime and death – function over fashion for visitors like me. never take a holiday, and thus neither does Gorniak’s office. Gorniak is all business, simultaneously teacher and patholAfter a brief overview of what to expect for the day, Gorniak ogist, as Forensic Tech Greg Kessler wheels out Gorniak’s takes me to meet with her staff for their morning briefing – task – a young man in his 20s, brought into the morgue the held, where else, but in the morgue. night before after having shot himself in the head with a shotgun. A sense of sympathy and regret are palpable as we reFour forensic pathologists work for the county, including Gor- view the history of this case. The young man had recently niak, who is in the staff rotation along with Drs. Tae An, Steven lost his job and was perhaps breaking up with his girlfriend, Sohn, and Obini Ugwu – affectionately known as Dr Obi. and had phoned a friend to say he was going to take his own Working alongside these doctors directly in the morgue are life shortly before his body was found. Morgue Supervisor Jim Stanforth and Chief Investigator Jack Sudimack and their staff of 9 forensic technicians and in- I watch, fascinated, as the autopsy proceeds. Simultaneously, vestigators. On the day that I’m there, Dr. Sohn is called out in the room’s other bay, Dr. Obi is performing the autopsy of to the scene of a murder directly from the morning briefing, the man we picked up from the house on our morning run. and a call comes in that a man has been found dead in the basement bedroom where he has been staying. Investigator It s not CSI, that’s for certain. In some ways it is more theAngie Summerfield is assigned to take that call, and I go atrical, in some ways less. I will spare the procedural details, along with her and her team. but the body is thoroughly examined, every organ dissected and tissue samples taken. The entire process takes nearly As Summerfield drives to the location we ve been given, she two hours. explains what to expect. “It s not CSI,” she says – a sentiment echoed over and over by the Coroner’s Office staff. “It’s I am taken by the stark contrast of the health of the young not sexy stuff. We are there to observe everything, take notes man and the incredible destruction of the shotgun blast. and photographs, collect evidence that the police may have Every organ is a textbook example of health, except for the missed or not even have been trained to expect, and to in- brain, which has been shredded by birdshot and has lodged terview the people who are there.” Summerfield’s profes- within it the wadding and shot cup, flared like a macabre sionalism is augmented with a sense of emotion and caring. flower and imbedded between the hemispheres. “And we’re not there to judge. We’re there to find the facts, and to make sure that the family and survivors know what to I make my way over to Dr. Obi s table – the man there is in expect next, and where they can get support and informa- his 50s and was a chronic smoker. I have a reality blast – a tion.” blinding flash of the obvious. The contrast between the black rot of the lungs of the 30-year smoker against the pinky We arrive at the scene and enter the house. In the basement freshness of the non-smoker, confirms for me my choice to are two Columbus Police officers, two homicide detectives, quit smoking and stay quit. Nothing could have been more and the deceased. Summerfield gets the details of the call motivation. from the CPD officers, takes scene photographs and collects evidence. She learns the man’s history and habits from his Gorniak finishes her autopsy and we file back to her office to family members who are waiting upstairs, and supervises wrap up the day. Her scientific contributions and knowledge the removal of his body by the transport team. She also pa- are obvious – watching her in the morgue at autopsy was a tiently and thoroughly explains what she is doing to me, and privilege. to the student intern who is also along on this run. This handson field training of interns, EMTs, nursing students, medical Gorniak is also concerned with going beyond the legal obliassistants, and medical and pathology residents is some- gations of her elected office. The facility’s waiting room is thing that Gorniak and staff take very seriously, even as they filled with fliers in English and Spanish for grief counselors do it voluntarily. and groups and organ donation societies. She personally volunteers for the Suicide Prevention line, and has reached out Later, Summerfield will log the evidence and write a report of to various support and bereavement groups throughout the her observations and findings for use by the Coroner’s Office community. She plans an outreach to the schools, to stuand CPD, if necessary. I’m interested to follow the process dents, parents, and teachers, to address issues of physical through, to learn whether this gentleman died of a heart at- and mental health “to keep young people off my tables.” And tack, a drug overdose, or other causes, but other happenings she is scheduling cultural competency seminars for her staff, at the office get my attention when we return. bringing in members of various religious and cultural communities to discuss cultural implications, traditions, and cusI get a tour of the toxicology lab with Chief Toxicologist Dr. toms surrounding death and burial. John Wyman and his team. As a chemist by training, I’m fascinated with the equipment and methodology in use in this I’m not sure what I had expected when I joined Gorniak and lab. As a citizen, I’m impressed with Wyman’s mastery of his her team that morning. I knew it wouldn’t be like a television craft and his commitment to his work. “We affect people’s show, but I don’t think I expected the level of commitment, lives here,” he says. “We determine if their loved ones were concern, and compassion of the Coroner’s Office staff. Each using drugs, or intoxicated, at the time of death, and this af- day, Gorniak leads a team of professionals dedicated to makfects everything from the way families see their deceased ing certain that everybody and every body is treated with reto whether or not insurance policies will pay off or be con- spect, and treated to the truth. sidered void. This is very sobering work.”

The average human brain weighs 2.5-3 lbs. The average human passes 2.5-3 lbs of fecal matter per day. Coincidence?

outlookcolumbus.com

Not surprisingly, the Roman god of drink and wine, Dionysus, was most often depicted as being gay.

may 2009

Dear EarthTalk: I am looking at possibly buying a house that is very close to a gasoline station. Is it safe to live so close to a gas station? What concerns should I have? I have toddler and infant babies. -Ranjeeta

by E/The Environmental Magazine Despite all the modern health and safety guidelines they must follow, gas stations can still pose significant hazards to neighbors, especially children. Some of the perils include ground-level ozone caused in part by gasoline fumes, groundwater hazards from petroleum products leaking into the ground, and exposure hazards from other chemicals that might be used at the station if it’s also a repair shop. Ozone pollution is caused by a mixture of volatile organic compounds, some of which are found in gasoline vapors, and others, like carbon monoxide, that come from car exhaust. Most gas pumps today must have government-regulated vaporrecovery boots on their nozzles, which limit the release of gas vapors while you’re refueling your car. A similar system is used by the station when a tanker arrives to refill the underground tanks. But if those boots aren’t working properly, the nearly odorless hydrocarbon fumes, which contain harmful chemicals like benzene, can be released into the air. Higher ozone levels can lead to respiratory problems and asthma, while benzene is a known cancer-causing chemical, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH). The quest to reduce ozone levels has led the state of California to implement a more stringent vapor-recovery law, effective April 1, 2009, which requires that all gasoline pumps have a new, more effective vapor-recovery nozzle. Underground gasoline storage tanks can also be a problem. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimates that there are some 660,000 of them from coast-tocoast. Many a lawsuit has been filed against oil firms in communities across the country by people whose

may 2009

soil and groundwater were fouled by a gas station’s leaking underground storage tank. In the past, most tanks were made of uncoated steel, which will rust over time. Also, pipes leading to the tanks can be accidentally ruptured. When thousands of gallons of gasoline enter the soil, chemicals travel to groundwater, which the EPA says is the source of drinking water for nearly half the U.S. If buying a home, consider its potential loss in value if a nearby underground storage tank were to leak. Gasoline additives such as methyl tertiary-butyl ether (MTBE), which has been outlawed in some states, make the water undrinkable - and that is only one of 150 chemicals in gasoline. Repeated high exposure to gasoline, whether in liquid or vapor form, can cause lung, brain and kidney damage, according to the NIH’s National Library of Medicine. Spilled or vaporized gasoline is not the only chemical hazard if the station is also a repair shop. Mechanics use solvents, antifreeze and lead products, and may work on vehicles that have asbestos in brakes or clutches. Auto refinishers and paint shops use even more potentially harmful chemicals. In today’s car-centric world, we can t escape exposure completely, because these chemicals are in our air just about everywhere. But by choosing where we live, keeping an eye out for spills, and pressuring the oil companies to do the right thing for the communities they occupy, we can minimize our exposures. CONTACTS: U.S. EPA, www.epa.gov; National Institutes of Health, www.nih.gov. SEND YOUR ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTIONS TO: EarthTalk, P.O. Box 5098, Westport, CT 06881; earthtalk@emagazine.com. Read past columns at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalk/archives.php. EarthTalk is now a book! Details and order information at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalkbook.

Delocalization and sp2 hybridization are a more accurate description of benzene’s structure than is the Kekulé model.

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Intern, or Die! by Benji Michalek Jobs. We need them to survive. I have been on the lookout for the perfect post-graduation job for quite some time. There were many jobs that I should have been the perfect candidate for based on the requirements, and yet there were no bites. I was fortunate to have graduated early. As such, I had an option to go back to school (like many others) to work on a second degree. Many people are actively looking for work at this very moment. The J-O-B market has become extremely competitive due to people being laid off. And yes, it is a given that it is difficult. But why? In a recent interview, my interviewer stated, “It was my hope to have someone with an undergraduate degree apply to this position, but due to the economy I have a few people with their Masters that I need to interview as well.” With their Masters? Damn it. I can’t compete with that. It just goes to show how people with the education, and the experience are falling back onto peon positions to survive. Thus squelching me, the ingénue graduate, out of the potential candidate list. I had an inkling of this, and I began to seek answers. I consulted with many HR reps, professors, and interviewers for advice. All of them concluded that I would need more experience to run with the big dogs. However, that’s easy for them to say when they are doing the interviewing. This left me with no choice, but to hunt down an alternative to gaining experience other than by the normal “working means.” This led me to becoming an intern. Now many of you may think, “Intern? That’s so Monica circa the nineties.” However, think of the benefits associated with interning. You’re able to interact professionally with a company that you would potentially like to apply to. You are able to network within that company. Some internships pay actual money, and others give college credit, too. Sometimes you are able to get out of town for a few months and make some new friends in a different city. But, overall the act of interning will build resume validity through having work experience in your related field. I wish someone had told me to intern before I even went off to college. That would have been like learning to swim before hopping into the big blue sea. And as we know, life’s not that easy. Check out our podcast on itunes or at www.gailyfwd.com

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Michael’s favorite color is plaid. He’s Scottish.

may 2009

Join us for Network Columbus - always the second Weds of the month, always free!

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Jim Meyer and Stephen Dial officially joined forces in 2003, opening their own Real Living HER office in the Short North in 2006. The Meyer & Dial team includes buyers’ agents Eric Cliffel, Amy Long and Karina Brown. They have quickly become one of the industry leaders in the marketing of Columbus urban living by offering a combination of savvy sales skills, cutting-edge strategies, unprecedented results and a higher level of service. In 2008, they closed 124 properties equaling $24.5 million in sales, at an average sale price of $236,168. Their percentage of list price vs. sales price is a very impressive 96.25%. Not too shabby for hard economic times. But as good as their figures sound, the last quarter of 2008 also was the worst of times for these real estate big fish. Just like we saw here at outlook, the fall brought ill tides of change for the company and Meyer says they had never been closer to bankruptcy than in the last two quarters. Luckily things have changed again. With the marketing looking like it’s trending upward, I sat with our out and proud buddies to get their insiders’ perspective on where the real estate market really is for buyers and sellers. Chris Hayes: We all know the economy is the toilet and nearly half the Realtors have left the market in the last 5 years, but we’ve been hearing from various Realtors in town that the housing market is still moving. How are you guys finding it? Jim Meyer: 2008 was a very difficult year for real estate and many Realtors in Central Ohio. Our experience was that our business was relatively unaffected by the economic slowdown until about September of last year. Then it was like someone, somewhere flipped a switch and just turned everything off. Business didn’t taper off, it simply stopped, and it stayed that way until about the beginning of March of this year. I remember commenting during lunch with one of our agents in January, that I thought we had been laid-off from real estate, but no one had actually come around to tell us. Fortunately this Spring, just as suddenly as things had stopped, the phones started ringing again.

Open House while nearly 85% say they found their home on the Internet, from a yard sign or through their Realtor. The other side is for the Agent. For us, an open house is a great opportunity to network and meet new prospective clients. Open houses are kind of a hold over from the pre-Internet days, when it was the one of the few ways to check out homes of interest. Now with the all the resources on-line, multiple photos and virtual tours, fewer people attend open houses. CH: How hard is it for your clients to get financing right now to buy a place? Is the stimulus package helping at all? JM: Financing has tightened up, there is no doubt about that. But, if you are a buyer with a down payment and a good credit score, there are great interest rates out there. FHA loans have seen a revival. Nearly extinct a few years ago, they are once again a great avenue for consumers with a) less money to put down (FHA is currently 3.5% down payment) and/or b) with less than perfect credit. The tax credit has certainly helped with the first time home buyers - where we have seen our biggest increase in business this year. If the stimulus package is responsible for the lower interest rates, then of course it has helped. That’s up for debate, and someone smarter than I am will have to answer that question.

interest savings per month? How much will it cost me to refinance and can I cost justify the expense of refinancing? If the cost of refinance is $2400 and I will be saving $200 a month, it will take me 12 months to recover the costs. Will I be living there at least 12 months? It all boils down to that. CH: How long do you think it will take the market to recover? SD: We are seeing signs of recovery, but this is going to be a marathon and not a sprint. We’ll return to a stable and appreciating market over the next two years. JM: I don’t think we’ll see a market like we saw in the early 2000s anytime in the near future. Want to learn more? Check out the feature on pages 27-30. Afterward, you can contact Jim and Stephen at Meyer & Dial with Real Living, 663 N High St at Victorian Gate (Short North), Columbus, OH 43215, 614.340.9660, www.meyer-dial.com.

CH: What should people consider before they refinance? SD: How long will I be living in my house? What interest rate will I be going from and going to? What will be my

CH: Is now a good time to buy? Stephen Dial: We aren’t just stating the party line of the NAR (National Association of Realtors), but yes, it is a great time to buy. Interest rates are at their lowest ever, inventory is up, prices are down and first time buyers can get an $8,000 tax credit. The other reason to buy is that in the last few months we have seen the number of days on market (DOM) for sales getting shorter. We are down from an average of 140 days a few months ago to 120 days now. This is a good indicator that we have bottomed out. As the DOM get shorter, we are returning to an equilibrium in the marketplace, which means prices will level out and then start to rise again. CH: How aggressively should people be pricing their houses if they are trying to sell? JM: You have to evaluate your own situation. There are really two factors in real estate: time and money. First figure out your motivation. Is it important to sell sooner and get less money for your home? Or, is time not a factor and getting every penny possible the ultimate goal? The challenge is finding where those two lines intersect for your specific situation. Then you can determine what the best possible price you can achieve in your personal time frame. CH: Can people expect to make a profit at all? JM: Yes, no, maybe. It all depends on the seller’s specific circumstances. It used to be a rule of thumb that you had to stay in your home for about 3-5 years to break even. That was back in the day when you had to have a 20% down payment. Then the real estate market took off and people were seeing incredible appreciation. They were able to do 100% financing and sell within a year or two and still break even, or even walk away with some money. It almost became an expectation of buyers, a sense of entitlement if you will. That wasn’t sustainable. We have returned to a time where you’re no longer able to flip a home in the short term and recoup all your money or make a profit. Owning a home is a long-term investment and not a cash machine.

Real Estate Big Fish

meyer & dial

CH: How effective are open houses? SD: There are two sides to that question. For the seller, the statistics are not very good, only about 2% of buyers say they found a home at an

outlookcolumbus.com

The word ‘mortgage’ comes from the French ‘mort’ meaning death, and ‘gage’ meaning agreement - literally, an ‘agreement until death.’

may 2009

The most common check writing error is filling in one dollar amount in numbers and writing a different amount in words. Check your checks!

outlookcolumbus.com

LET JUSTICE ROLL DOWN: FINDING OUR VOICES AS PEOPLE OF FAITH Rev. Wendy Sherer

protect all citizens - especially LGBT persons?

The day my best friend told me he was leaving seminary because he couldn’t be ordained in a church that didn’t accept him fully, something new took root within me. At first it felt only like anger and hurt, as I myself prepared to be ordained by that same church which had cast off one so dear to me - and so gifted for ministry. I made my friend promise not to let me forget that anger, and I pledged to do all in my power to help change the discriminatory policy.

While vocal opponents may be considered one religious opinion, they certainly do not represent the broad spectrum of faith voices, even in Ohio, which is sometimes mistakenly regarded as a single conservative bloc. My work with churches and clergy for the past ten years in this state has shown me clearly that people of faith are as diverse as those who consider themselves “nonreligious.”

In the ten years since my ordination I have come to recognize something deeper than my initial anger and pain - more like a profound desire to speak on behalf of those who are not being recognized as complete human beings. And that passion for justice has extended beyond the arena of church policy (although I still champion that cause), into the wider world of inequities that I believe have no legitimate place in a “free society.” Finding my voice as an ally and as a faith leader has been a challenge in some respects. Those of us who are seen to represent our traditions or the communities which we serve may question how our advocacy will be viewed by parishioners or the general public who know us in our professional roles. Many leaders who feel a personal passion for justice sometimes hesitate to speak out, fearing they may stir up unpleasant controversy, or even perceiving that they may lose their jobs. This inner conflict can be significant when fear is allowed to prevail over a strong desire to speak up on behalf of what they feel is right.

On the positive side, there are a consistently growing number of people in faith communities who feel that equality for all is not just an option, but something directly mandated by the teachings of their various traditions. When I worked in retail one summer, my supervisor told us, “You have the right to say ‘yes’ to the customer, even if their request seems unreasonable. However, if you’re not comfortable doing that, you can give me a call and I’ll come and say ‘yes’ to them!” In the end, the judgments we made didn’t matter - the “boss” would override us anyway! I love using that illustration as I’m encouraging faith leaders and communities to be public about their welcome - if we believe in a creator who has already accepted each of us, who are we to call each other unacceptable?

As I pondered whether or not to be ordained into what I believed was an unjust church, the words of the Indigo Girls kept coming back to me - “you help me more by not giving in.” Even though I felt very little power at the time, I promised to stay and stand on behalf of my seminary friend. Now I get the While I am not without sympathy for those privilege of standing for hundreds, perhaps who feel ambivalence toward advocating be- thousands of others who daily feel the imcause of their public positions, I feel even pact of unjust laws and society. more strongly about the powerful outcomes that are possible when courage wins out It’s a crucial time for equality-minded people over fear. Imagine what Ohio could look like of faith to stand with those who don’t conif all similarly convicted people of faith sider themselves religious, or who have exclergy and lay alike - would join their voices perienced rejection by their faith traditions. in speaking on behalf of what justice deIt’s time for allies to join LGBT persons in mands: equal and fair treatment of all per- challenging unjust laws. And it’s time to sons, regardless of their sexual orientation help civic leaders understand that the voice or gender identity. that has been speaking so loudly on behalf of “religion” does not speak for us all. It is an unfortunate reality that extremist groups, street preachers and conservative Wendy Sherer is the contract Faith Commuradio broadcasters are often regarded as the nity Organizer with Equality Ohio. If you voice of religion in the United States. And would like to learn about ways to make your while such persons are protected under the voice heard, call 614.224.0400, or email: same free speech laws as any of us, is it any contactus@equalityohio.org. wonder that public officials and legislators often cite fear of “religious backlash” in their hesitance to support laws which would

outlookcolumbus.com

Faith, Hope, and Charity were not the original Harlettes. Those were Peg Bundy and the two Senators from California.

may 2009

by Regina Sewell Looking out my window, if I squint my eyes just right, I can see buds on the tree across the lawn. The daffodils by my kitchen door are sending up shoots and I m sitting at my kitchen table remembering my grandmothers. Both loved flowers and had beautiful flowerbeds. Were they still alive, they d probably be fretting about the lack of rain, ordering seeds and preparing the beds for planting. My grandmothers both tried to teach me about botany with an almost religious zeal. Although these lessons were more successful than their efforts to teach me to knit, I wasn’t a particularly good student and I have haphazard flowerbeds as a result. Only now am I beginning to understand that when my grandmothers were trying to teach me about botany, they were really trying to give me the spiritual tools I needed to understand life. I finally get it. When they were explaining germination, they were explaining life’s basic process of growth and development. In order for a seed to become a flower, it must first germinate underground. The outer shell must break apart so that it can send up shoots to find the sun, grow leaves and flower. In other words, in order to become the flower it is to become, the seed must die to its original seed self.

The Secret Life of Seeds

This is a great metaphor for the process of change and explains why we are so reluctant to actually engage in the process. At its most basic, real change begins with quiet contemplation, from spending time alone in a state of stillness. From the calm, centered space of a quiet mind, we are able to shed the vestiges of our identities, the fear driven part of the self that keep us stuck in the same unfulfilling and possibly harmful patterns. You know the fear place. It s the part of you that digs its heels in when your partner wants to re-organize the kitchen because doing so would involve capitulating control. Or maybe it’s that part of you that resists your efforts to organize yourself because you ve labeled yourself as disorganized. Or maybe it’s the part of you that says, “I can’t slow down. I have too much to do.” It’s also the voice of addiction that keeps the drinker drinking, “I don’t really need to give up drinking. I can just cut back, a little,” even as they grow more and more isolated and the consequences of drinking continue to add up. Unfortunately, it’s our fear that keeps getting us in trouble. In order to be who we really are, in order to truly and deeply change our patterns, we have to let go of fear and allow the death of the labels and identities that keep us stuck. Like the seed, we need to shed our limiting shell and grow beyond to become our real selves. Luckily, even though our egos get tied up in our identities, they aren’t really who we are. They are simply strategies we use to get our needs met. They have a lot of power because they have a significant payoff. Hanging on to control in the kitchen probably gives you the illusion of safety – the idea that as long as you’re in the driver’s seat, your partner can’t hurt you. Labeling yourself as disorganized works like a free pass. People don’t expect much of you because – well – you re a disorganized mess. There is a built in excuse if you lose someone’s phone number or an important file. Chronic busyness keeps you from facing the inner longings of your soul and generates the feeling that you matter because of all the things you get done. Busyness also protects you from other people’s expectations because you’re too busy to really spend time with people. And as long as you’re numbing yourself with alcohol, you don’t have to think about or feel the fear, anger, resentment, and/or sadness you carry. The question is: Is the payoff worth the cost? One thing I do know: if you can slow down, if you can stop the incessant spinning, running and avoiding, and let your mind grow quiet, you will be able to let go of illusions, judgments, expectations, limiting roles and old definitions. When you do this, you’ll be able to connect to your real self - the part of you knows that you are not a label or a job description or an expected behavior pattern. In this place, there is no good or bad, no right or wrong, there is only love. Your fear dissolves into the peace of just being. You don t have to work at changing, change just happens. The more you can let yourself come to this place of stillness, the more your words and actions will be consistent with the creative force of love and the more able you are to meet challenges and live the awesome potential your life has to offer. I think that my grandmothers knew this. They knew that to grow into reality meant shedding limitations, labels, and fears. This must be how they survived the Great Depression, the loss of too many friends and family members to count, and drastic social and technological change. They didn t meditate or do yoga or even journal. They loved. They prayed. And they grew flowers. Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor with a private practice in Worthington, OH. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com . Her most recent publication, Sliding Away can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen.

may 2009

traut cried at the Secret Life of Bees. He’s sensitive.

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Joe Solmonese annual salary = $338,400. HRC & HRC Foundation 2008 total revenue and support $33,238,463.

may 2009

We Are Home

by Jennifer Vanasco

One day not long ago, Jenny and I found ourselves outside of Milwaukee, in a landscape of barns and silos. Our plan was to go to a Culver’s for frozen custard, but it was closed. Instead, looking for adventure, we dropped by one of Wisconsin’s smaller highway cheese shops. There is nothing like foam sombreros made to look like they’ve been cut out of Swiss cheese to make you feel like you’re in small town America. Or sausages labeled to look like bottles of Schlitz. Or cheese shaped like a foamy beer mug, or a Green Bay Packers helmet. Or a picture of the Pope in the bathroom under a sign that said, “Cheese for the soul.” Jenny and I roamed around, taking pictures of each other in silly poses and finally getting on the line that snaked through the store, our basket piled with aged cheddar cheese and cheesy-looking foam “fuzzy” dice, and handmade caramels. I love small town America. Always have. But it also makes me worried. Jenny and I are affectionate, always, and as usual, we were holding hands in line, and occasionally leaning against each other. We hold hands without thinking; but there was a part of me, as Jenny chatted to the mother and young daughter ahead of us on line, that wondered if someone was going to say something to us, if we were going to be asked to leave, if someone would stare or glare or otherwise make us uncomfortable. Jenny bumped my shoulder, grinned, and pointed to a sign above the door. “Go in cheese,” the sign said. “Hey,” she said to the mother in front of us, “is Wisconsin really Catholic? We saw a picture of the Pope in the bathroom – and there are all these commemorative plates and rosaries.” “Oh, I don’t know,” the woman said. “Milwaukee’s archbishop, Timothy Dolan, is in the news lately, because he’s becoming the archbishop of New York.” “Huh,” we both said. Later, I would go home and read more about Dolan. I live in New York, where Jenny

may 2009

Columbus is the name of a city in OH, AR, GA, IL, IN, KS, KY, MS, MT, NE, NJ, NM, NC, ND, TX, and WI

and I hope to one day get married, and our governor last week introduced a gay marriage bill into the state legislature. Dolan, newly consecrated, said he would use his position to ensure it didn’t pass. “I don’t shy away from those things,” he said. But Dolan hadn’t made his comments yet, when we were at the cheese shop. Jenny and I smiled into each others’ eyes. An employee of the store passed us and put his hand on my shoulder. “Not long now,” he said. “Sorry for the wait. Thanks for your patience.” “Uh, no problem,” I said. I turned around to follow him with my eyes, puzzled, and caught the warm glance of an elderly woman behind me. Her short hair could have just been efficient Midwestern style – but a rainbow pin on her lapel said “PRIDE.” I made an amazed face at Jenny. “We are everywhere,” I whispered to her. Another employee – who very much looked like Family – excused herself as she edged her way in front of us, carrying boxes of cheese. At the checkout, the male employee who had put his hand on my shoulder suddenly flamed into life, bringing out his gay accent as he bantered about my purchases. It was like we were in an alternate gay universe – except, really, it wasn’t alternate at all. Dolan won’t be able to keep marriage from New York, just as he couldn’t – as no one could – keep gays and lesbians from living openly and proudly in the Wisconsin farm towns outside Milwaukee. Just as conservatives couldn’t shut down marriage in Iowa or Vermont. Gays don’t live in an alternate universe – we live in the real America, complete with sausage bottles of Schlitz and homemade candy and frozen custard. We live in cities – and also small towns. We are no longer tourists in our own country, taking pictures of the natives. We are home. Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning, syndicated columnist. Email her at jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com; follow her at twitter.com/JenniferVanasco.

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Alternative Messages by Mette Bach The other day, while applying liquid eyeliner for the first time in a long time, I noticed something: wrinkles. I swished my face against the glass of my tiny bathroom’s mirror and sure enough, there were lots of them. How had I not noticed? I have a deep frown line but, more importantly, I have crow’s feet and laugh lines. Of course, I had to show someone right away. “Don’t worry, you’re still young and beautiful,” my friend said, stroking his ever so slightly bald patch with one hand while rubbing the wee remainder of his Christmas belly with the other. “Worried? I’m delighted,” I said. “Sorry. Projecting again,” he poured some lemon zinger tea and sat down. Much to the surprise of the gay boys in my life, my lines thrill me. He was recently – and without consent – called “Daddy” one night at the Pump Jack. I’m blessed with older lesbian friends who tell me that the sex gets hotter the more you know your own body. They tell me that the more relationship experience you have, the more you learn to roll with the punches and figure out how to navigate intimacy, sex and friendships. My friend and I both revere maturity. He rarely gets it on with a guy his age and never goes younger. Yet, the messages he gets about his body are different from what I’m told about mine. And he even goes to the gym. “There’s something about a guy with experience,” he says, “They’re just hotter.” I agree. It goes against everything the media presents as true (not just straight mainstream media but queer media, too) – that sex is for youth, that we are measured by our physical features, that hotness hinges on tight skin and ripped abs. Every lesbian I know can tell you that that stuff doesn’t matter. It doesn’t come down to fashionable haircuts or the latest clothes. For me, it’s something about the way a woman laughs, eats, thinks. It’s in the subtle strokes: self-knowledge and confidence. I can’t be the only one with a crush on Betty Krawczyk. I always thought that the idea of comparing a woman to a fine bottle wine was cheesy. I still think it is. But I also know that letting go of inhibitions takes time. Coming into one’s full self and being able to truly give and to genuinely receive – these are not the gifts of youth but the rewards of maturity. One of the best compliments I ever received was from a grandmother of five. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said, “I mean, you’re okay now, but, man, when you pass forty, you’re going to be super hot!”

outlookcolumbus.com

It is NOT true that Canadians invented “doggy style” so both could watch the hockey game during sex.

may 2009

pieces parts and protests If you know me at all you probably know I’m generally a couple hundred emails behind at any given time. I get tons of shit in my email, I get tons of shit emails, and occasionally I actually shit an email or two. Well this week I actually got down to seven unread - not to be confused with unanswered pieces of virtual mail in my virtual box. WooHoo! As sad as this is going to sound, that’s extremely exciting stuff. So it was somewhat distressing when an onslaught of messages from my old roommate Rocky started filling it up again. Now Roxanne, as we call him, is not known for pulling a Dirty Sanchez on inboxes, but today apparently he was in a mood. At first a few funny, inspiring, and all out ridiculous forwards with the subject “Cleaning Out My Box” filtered in. Soon it was more than a few and by the 10th one, I wrote back: Ironically as your cleaning out your box, you’re unwittingly filling mine up! His response “yes, f*#@ u!” and the emails stopped. Ten minutes later they reappeared... in triplicate. He’s sassy that way. Well, like a cat, I’m curious and so I began watching the videos my mate sent. The first was this amazing skydiving pyramid display. It had to be at least 50 people connected in a diamond that continued to unravel. The vid came with a reminder from Rock that we still haven’t jumped out of plane, something we were supposed to do before he was 30. I think he’s getting antsy as seeing he just turned 35, but his hairline says he’s 40. Happy Birthday! Next was a video from Sony that apparently played at their annual meeting or company picnic or Mecca Godzilla conference. It was one of those ‘Did You Know?’ pieces that left you in awe of America’s inferiority to China and India while reassuring you that the only real threat was the technology Sony themselves are creating. Did you know that soon computers will be able to compute faster than the brain? I don’t know about you, but I’m well aware that my graphing calculator has been doing just that for almost three decades now. The only thing this short didn’t let me know was if Sony started a contingency plan for when the iPods rise up and take

may 2009

over. Do you know the way to San Zion José? God needless to say, when we finally got our parts toI hope they didn’t put the map on a flash drive. gether, they did indeed fit. In fact, it went so well I twittered about it. (Are you on my twitter? You 40 more wasted minutes of crap mail later, I should be). made it to the last video - a YouTube gem called something something gay values something Saying gay parts don’t match is just plain stusomething. Basically it was this guy so and so pid. Gay parts match up just fine. If they didn’t who is giving a humorous yet insightful speech we wouldn’t do it. In fact, they match up so well on the absurdity of denying gays and lesbians that we built a many colored rainbow commuthe right to marry. I don’t know his story, or his nity around them, a civil rights movement to name, and now that I’ve deleted everything, I free them and Chi Chi LaRue’s house on the hill can’t find anything on him. At any rate, that just to get a glimpse of the goodness that is our doesn’t matter. What matters is that at one pieces and parts fitting together in hot, dirty, point Mr Funny Speaker talks about the popular God-given glory. anti-gay argument that “our parts don’t match up.” Mr F even goes as far to demonstrate the Even besides that, on a basic, physiological hand jesters that typically accompany such an human level, everyone knows parts are parts. opinion. Don’t know it? Well, you can try it at We all have ‘em and they don’t need one specific home. Just take your two pointer fingers and counter part in order to work properly. Hell, for point them at each other. Now bump them toguys in general any cavern-like thing will do, gether repeatedly. Ahh, get it? For the ladies, in- and in fact doesn’t have to be cavern-like at all. stead of pointing, make the OK symbol with A pillow, a fence post, a sock, a sock puppet, an each hand then bump the Os together, you know oven, a warm breeze, a riding lawn mower, a like carp kissing. Good funny stuff, no? cool breeze, a good DJ, Jacuzzi jets, climbing a rope, Jeni’s salty caramel, a snowman, the sale Now this mismatched parts rational is probably rack at Express or Dutch apple pie all work. For one of the most leotarded of all anti-gay arguladies, deep talks and cohabitation tends to do ments. Humanity should be embarrassed others the trick. of our species are propagating such nonsense. Any living creature with a sex organ can tell ya Now maybe all that’s TMI-EFMM (too much info that there is more than one way to skin a cat. especially for my mom), but, point being, most reasoning behind the continued repression of I started dating again. I mean I’ve been dating, GLBT rights is not reasonable... at all. but I’ve found someone I actually want to hang out with for more than a few hours, once, awk- So why are they still winning? wardly at a coffee shop, trying to pay attention, wishing I had a cocktail. The good and bad We are living in incredible times both socio-pothing about coffee shop dates is there is no litically and technologically. As we are in the liquor. Good because give me a couple of heart of the gay rights movement, the thick of it, glasses of wine and I’ll fall for anyone and into so to are in we the technology revolution. Scienan uncomfortable next morning or a very long tific discoveries and rights won during this era second date. Bad because on tragic dates will change our world in ways that can never be there’s no liquor to get ya through, just caffeine, replicated or repeated. Our lives, it seems, which isn’t known for it’s good times. Luckily we change daily. In most cases for the better. have Cup O Joe/Mojo Lounges. Perfect for first dates - you’re covered either way. But are we progressing faster than we can comprehend and is it bad not to actualize that we Ok so I’m dating this hottie for like a month and are progressing at exponential rates with infor many situational reasons, we hadn’t had a creasing velocity? I think so because it breeds chance to “match up” if you will. It’s a long story impatience. about people being tired and rashes and vacations and keeping things secret from our neigh- As new gadgets and new court cases are combors and all the usual what-have-yous, but ing over our RSS feeds at higher frequency, we

Name the movie quote: Extra-terrestrial drug dealer: I come in peace. Jack: And you go in pieces , asshole!”

become accustomed to the ever-increasing pace of our progress. That adaptation makes it hard to be patient when you want something, whether that’s the next iPhone update or the ability to marry your partner legally. Over time, that frustration turns to disenfranchisement that eventually turns to inaction. What’s perplexing to me though is that latter seems to be less relevant or catalytic in our daily routine than the former. Many of us spend hours every month fixing/returning/complaining about our technology, but how equated is that to time spent on our own civil rights? I’m guilty of not giddying up for the gay agenda. I for one will drive out to Easton and wait for an hour to bitch about my mobileme not working, but I couldn’t tell you the last time I walked the two blocks to the Statehouse to tell a politician why ENDA is important to me. What’s funny is that being an activist today is easier than ever. Modern day activism can be virtually effortless - you can do it from your phone at the bar. Harvey Milk couldn’t have imagined it being so easy. But if Milk would have had the tools of today, you can bet he would have had millions across the country, and not just the Castro, taking it to the streets. Where as Harvey had to rely on a time-consuming phone tree to get the word out, we have the technology to be instantaneous in our reactions. We can Facebook a rally in minutes in response to a crisis or to hold people accountable on the spot for bad votes. So why does it feel we are less respondent than ever? Just like my friend Rocky can junk up my inbox in a second, or my lover can show me his box from across the country, so too can we (pro)aggressively use technology to win this war. Let’s techno-tenaciously infiltrate this country and annoy the shit out our peers, politicians and propagators until we get equality. Meet me at the bar and we can correct the misnomers, tell our stories and respond to threats in true gay style - over munchies and martinis with show tunes and strippers. It is our time. We have the technology. Now let’s get to making it happen.

outlookcolumbus.com

may 2009

Billionaire Bust: According to Forbes, last year the world had 1,125 billionaires. Today there are 793.

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King penguins are the second largest of the penguin species, on average they are around 15kg (33lb) and 95cm (3.1ft) high.

may 2009

outlookcolumbus.com

by Chris Hayes

the downtown market, but CBus’s movement of condo sales has stalled. Has the current Columbus has been all about urban downeconomy changed your business model? Are town living over the past five years. As one you still specializing in the downtown marof the Mayor’s pet projects, residential de- ket or have you broadened your focus? velopment took off in our core. Over 5,000 Jim Meyer: We have always specialized in what residential units have been or will be com- we call the mid-town market, being German pleted by the end of next year. But with the Village, Downtown, Olde Towne, Victorian Vildowntrend in the economy, how is the down- lage, OSU and Clintonville. I am actually a town market holding up? past President of the MAREA (Mid-town Area Real Estate Association). Our sales have been It seems to be stalled. I wondered if it was a split about 50/50 between single-family warning sign when Carlyle’s Watch went up homes and condos over the last 8 years. on the auction block last year. I began to Stephen Dial: We were associated with several contemplate how viable the market was projects downtown, and retain a strong portion when Jeffery Place came to a standstill and of the market share downtown. We were also as the lots for The Jackson and Ibiza sat fortunate that most of our projects were nearempty for a year past their scheduled ing being sold out before the economic slow ground breaking days. And as a resident of down occurred. We still are very active in sellthe Hartman, I wondered if I would be able ing and promoting downtown, but with the to ever sell my unit, with the building still sit- slow down particularly pronounced in that ting holding onto 14 unsold homes. market, our business has increased in other mid-town markets and in single-family All this wondering made me want to find out homes. where the downtown market really is. I got a hold of two experts in CH: To get a feel for the market, who are the field, downyou finding to be the typical town Redowntown resident? Is it one set of people? How much of the market is being support by the GLBT

nity have always been pioneers in up-andcoming neighborhoods. I feel that our percentage used to be a higher, but all the cutting edge heterosexuals have followed our lead and moved into the downtown area, which is great.

tended to be a way of life. Responsible consumers, with their lenders and their real estate agents should have made their purchase decisions and calculated their ability to repay their loans based of the anticipated full tax assessed value of that property. If they have CH: Many projects like The Hartman that still done this, then they can sit back and enjoy the is carrying 14 units, are not sold out. Others 10-year benefit without worry. It’s not as if it is like Carlyle’s Watch went up for auction or a surprise that the taxes will increase once the like City View relinquished their remaining abatement expires, so it isn’t going to catch units to the bank. What do you think are the people off guard. I don’t see it leading to a major factors playing into these developmass exodus from downtown. ments not selling out? Quality, price point, condo fees? What is the future of the down- CH: What could the city do to help solidify town housing market? Is downtown dead? the downtown market? What does downtown JM: Across the nation condos and condo sales need in general to make it more livable? Is have taken a beating and Columbus is no ex- downtown any less livable than any other ception. An oversupply of condos in markets area of town? like Florida, California and Arizona coupled SD: Green space, transportation and small with the downturn in the real estate market, business are the biggest issues. The green meant that a lot of banks ended up owning a spaces make downtown livable and add to the lot of condos when developers and purchasers quality of life. Imagine New York without Cenwent into foreclosure. Many condo associatral Park, Chicago without Bicentennial Park, tions are in the red. Now there seems to be a D.C. without the Mall or San Francisco without backlash against condos across the country. Golden Gate Park. Just come back to ColumFreddie, Fannie and FHA have all tightened the bus and look at German Village or Victorian standards for conforming condominiums. Village and think of either of those vibrant and Lenders have increased the down payment successful neighborhoods without their beauand credit requirements, all making it much tiful parks as an epicenter. How would the more difficult to purchase a condo. One of the quality of life in those communities be improjects you mentioned was just too expensive pacted without their parks? We need a soluand put itself out of market place. The other tion to get people into the city from the two were selling well, but got caught by the suburbs effectively and cheaply and then a failing economy and a lending backlash. In system to get them around downtown once the immediate future, you’ll see a moratorium they’re here. Getting bodies into downtown to on new condos coming into the marketplace support the business and to that end bringing for the most part, while we sell through the jobs back downtown is critical. I think the City current inventory. Some projects, out of neces- should consider some sort of tax incentive for sity, will be forced into rentals. But don’t get small business, similar to the tax abatement me wrong, there is nothing bad with rentals. given to people who purchased downtown. We Renters add to the vibrancy and livability of need to make if cost effective for small busidowntown. They shop in the same stores, eat ness to set up shop, and remain open while in the same restaurants and work in the ofthe downtown population continues to grow. fices we do. And it opens up a lot of housing to The increase of small business will then atpeople that was not available or affordable tract more people to live downtown; it’s selfbefore. I don’t think downtown is dead, I think feeding. that it is going through a period of transition like most of real estate. The tax abatements CH: If you were developing these units, what are still there, prices will adjust to reflect the would you change/add to make them more market and eventually lending will become marketable? Are there any more available again. Downtown will continue particular amenities missing from the downto develop, but it is going to be at a much town housing market in general? slower pace than in the last five years. JM: It’s all about the “P’s.” Parking, pets, comparks, pools, private space and pricing. I muCH: The ten-year tax abatement has allowed would love to see in the near future a truly nity? many to afford the pricy housing downtown. pedestrian friendly downtown where a large SD: The But when that abatement is up, what do you number of people could live and function with“Typical Down- think will happen to downtown? Will people out a car, but I think that’s a way off. The first town Resident” is be able to afford staying there or will we see questions buyers ask is where do I park, and someone that enjoys a mass exodus? how many spaces do I get. Parking is king, it living in the heart of the city, JM: The tax abatement is certainly a perk of dictates the number of units you can build, walking to restaurants, parks and buying in downtown. That coupled with low in- how big they can be and there price. Next peoevents and not afraid to hop on public trans- terest rates over the last few years, has made ple want some green space, they want to be portation. COTA is not scary, I take it into downtown living accessible to many, many able to get out to a park and take their pet downtown all the time. It’s cheap, easy and I people. The tax abatement was meant to be with them. I am constantly surprised how don’t have to find a place to park. The GLBT an incentive for developers to build and buyers much influence a buyer’s dog has on their purcommunity makes up a large percentage of to purchase properties in downtown - and it chase. The most common items buyers ask downtown residents. Members of our commu- certainly had that effect. It wasn’t ever inabout that most places do not readily offer are

Downtown Development: Bea Arthur or Lindsay Lohan?

altors Jim Meyer and Steven Dial of Meyer & Dial to find out if the market is dead, what downtown needs to be a viable neighborhood and so tips for those who are looking to locate there. Chris Hayes: You guys were specializing in

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Columbus has our own Santa Maria, and our very own Nina. Now to just get that elusive Pinta ...

may 2009

some type of private outdoor space (a terrace or a patio), followed closely by a desire for a pool. Then of course, pricing has never been more important.

altor point of view it is boarded by I-670 to the north, I-71 to the east, I-70/71 to the south and the river to the west. In MLS (Multiple Listing Service), this is considered area 10. Some quick stats based on only units reported to MLS shows there are currently 181 CH: I often hear that we need a grocery store and walkable units actively listed for sale [developments like Northbank or convenience stores etc, downtown for it to be a livable hood, Lifestyle Communities with in-house sales that do not report and yet if you live in almost any other neighborhood in the City many developments like 8 on the Square, Lofts at 106, CityView, or suburbs you have to drive to the store. The new Kroger is etc only report a sampling of the available units]. Since April 1 of less than a mile from my condo. Do you think people have unre- 2008, a total of 62 units have been sold as, or an average of 5.1 alistic or skewed perceptions of downtown living? How do you units per month. If you have 181 units for sale and are selling 5.1 battle that as people trying to sell the market? Is the perception units per month, it would follow that you have 35 months worth of of living downtown that everything is or should be a block inventory. away? JM: The grocery store question is the one I dislike the most. “Where CH: After the completion of Gay St, The Lifestyle Communities, do I get my groceries?” is always ringing in my ears. The simple The Jackson and Ibiza how many more will there be? fact is that that between the Kroger in the Brewery District, the SM: The Jackson and Ibiza are not technically in downtown, but of Giant Eagles in German & Victorian Villages and the North Market, course they do compete for buyers with the downtown market. The you’re probably closer to food shopping in downtown than you are Jackson will have a total of 46 units with 18 units in contract. in a home in the suburbs. There’s a CVS at the corner of State and Ibiza has 144 residential units with roughly 50% in contract. Gay High and the best movie theatre in Columbus at the Arena District. St (Neighborhood Launch) is happening in stages but has plans You’re not going to have these amenities on every city bock -we’re for 265 units. I am not sure of the total number of condominium not Manhattan (yet) - but I think people underestimate how much units at The Lifestyle Communities project. They have a mix of “for is within walking distance to most of the core of downtown. Pick sale” condominiums and rental apartments. an address downtown and type that in at www.walkscore.com, you we surprised what’s outside your front door. CH: One thing I learned in buying a new condo downtown was that condo fees are not stable, and in fact it’s common knowlCH: The announcement for the planned City Center redevelop- edge in the industry that on new builds you can expect them to ment has stirred some controversy. Do you think it’s a valid go up by 200%. What do you recommend for people interested plan? If not what would have liked to see happen to the space. in condos to make sure they are budgeting correctly? Do you How realistic is the current planned development? Is it good for suggest they wait till the association is established and there is downtown residents? a history of consistent dues before they purchase? SD: Obviously were proponents of green space in downtown. We JM: Because new developments don’t have a history, the cost and were surprised at number of our colleagues in the real estate com- expense of running and maintaining the development is at best munity that oppose tearing down City Center. We can’t say with an educated guess. A consumer should consult an attorney or CPA complete absolute certainty that a park is the best use of the who specializes in condominiums and have them review the conspace, but I really haven’t heard of a better idea. We are pretty cer- dominium documents and budgets. An experienced and qualified tain that the one thing that City Center will never be again, is City professional can determine if a budget is realistic. Investigate the Center. It’s not going to be a mall, and from what I understand it’s developer and management companies. Find out how many other too costly adapt that structure into another use. Whatever goes projects the developer has completed and what type of increases there, whether it be a park, casino, a sport venue or something owner’s experienced at those developments. Lastly plan for the completely different, City Center has to go. That has to be the first worst. Developers don’t intentionally deceive buyers regarding step. condo fees, but without a running history they are just guesses, and for marketing the lowest guess is the most beneficial. So plan CH: What kind of politics play out between developers and real- for a sizeable increase over the first two years, as real and variable tors in the continued development, marketing and sale of expenses occur for the association. Columbus’ downtown? Do Realtors and developers collaborate or do they tend to be at odds? Is there a natural conflict CH: What are your other tips for buying downtown? between the developers who are trying to create a product with SD: We have several tips for successfully buying in the downtown the highest profit margin possible and the Realtors who are try- area. 1) Select a qualified Realtor who is familiar with the market ing to push a high-ticket item? to represent your interests and give you unbiased opinions on the JM: I think that painting all developers with a broad brush of their properties you are considering. 2) Be flexible. Often what you think only benchmark being profit is unfair. There are many responsible you want is not always where you end up. We have had many peodevelopers with projects that consciously enhance and contribute ple think they wanted an industrial loft and found that they really to the community. Of course you wouldn’t be much of a developer, preferred a townhome, or the reverse. Downtown living comes in or be one for very long if you didn’t make a profit. So naturally de- many different shapes and sizes. Don’t limit yourself. 3) Work in velopment is a balanced offering of presenting an acceptable reverse. Figure you what you’re comfortable paying out each project to the pubic at the least possible cost, while of course sell- month for principal, interest, taxes and condo fees. Is it $1,000, ing at the highest possible price. To do this we have to collaborate. $1,500 or $2,500? Then have your Realtor or mortgage lender calWe as salespeople have the ears of the pubic. We know what con- culate in reverse – finding out what mortgage amount that paysumers expect and what they are willing to pay and we can exment would support – and shop in the range. Don’t forget to press this to the developer. We know what the limits are and that expect an increase in condo fees and property taxes and put that the marketplace will ultimately dictate the cap on prices. If prices into the equation. 4) Condo financing is different from the financincrease too fast or exceed their true market value for an extended ing on a single family home. Consult a Realtor or mortgage lender period of time, then you’ll see a correction in pricing, just like we and get pre-qualified. 5) Don’t be afraid to negotiate; whether did across the nation in 2007/08. In the end, everyone’s goal is the you’re looking at a single family home or a condo, ask for addisame: to offer good product for a fair profit. tional upgrades and/or closing costs. CH: How many downtown units are there currently? How many are vacant? How many are for sale? JM: First lets define “downtown.” As we see downtown from a Re-

may 2009

For more info: Meyer & Dial with Real Living, 663 N. High Street at Victorian Gate (Short North), Columbus, OH 43215, 614.340.9660, www.meyer-dial.com.

The most common urban pest is the German cockroach. Sprechen Sie Kafka?

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If stick figures have sex, do they burst into flames?

may 2009

Columbus Landmarks Spring Walking Tours Celebrate Columbus “Villages” Columbus Landmarks Foundation’s 2009 Walking Tour series kicks off May 3 and will feature more than two dozen themed tours celebrating the many villages of Columbus. Most Columbus residents are familiar with German Village, Victorian Village, and Italian Village…but little-known villages including Hungarian Village, Old North Columbus, and Babyland are also part of Columbus’ architectural heritage. Discover which Columbus village has a buried Civil War town, which was originally a sheep farm, which village is filled with West African architecture, and much more. Led by experts in architecture and Columbus history, tour-goers will discover why it takes many villages to make a city 197 years old.Tours run through October. Space is limited. Tickets are $7 for CLF members, $15 for non-members, and can be purchased by calling. 614.221.4508. For more info, please visit www.columbuslandmarks.org.

May – June 2009 Walking Tours May 3 - The Old Village of Columbus What would the original village of Columbus, dating to 1812, have looked like? What is left of it? What is now in its place? You might be surprised - a walking tour that takes a little imagination, but you’ll never look at downtown Columbus the same way again. Tour begins at City Hall by Christopher Columbus Statue, 90 W. Broad St. May 16 - Village of Franklinton The grandmother of all the villages and the mother of Columbus, the settlement town of Franklinton, 1797, was greatly damaged by the Sandusky Interchange on West Broad, and yet, there are buildings which remain including the oldest surviving building on its original site in Franklin County. Tour begins at Harrison House, 570 W. Broad St. May 17 - Village of Worthington Many people are familiar with the Village (now city) of Worthington - a crossroads of lovely shops and commercial activities dating from the early 19th century when Ohio was just receiving statehood. Not as many people may be familiar with log cabins, 19th century factories, the interlocking relationships between the beginnings of Columbus and the beginnings of Worthington, and the private side of architecture and history at the Olentangy River’s edge - in many ways, where Worthington was born. Tour begins at Worthington Historical Society, 50 W. New England Ave.

Fourth streets in Columbus), surprisingly, many buildings and pockets of the neighborhood did not. Tour-goers also will learn where a Civil War camp was—and who was one of its famous commanders. Tour begins at North High School, 100 Arcadia Ave. June 6 - German Village As the largest privately-funded restored historic district in the United States, German Village is, of course, well known. We will explore the major architectural styles of the district and even hear from the “indigenous natives” whose families have lived in the “South Side” for the 120 years before it became known as German Village. Tour begins at Schiller Park Statue, 1069 Jaeger St. June 7 - “Irish” Village There really could be many Irish Villages in Columbus - but we will choose one of the most obvious places to talk about the Irish influence in Columbus from the 1840s1870s, look at some interesting examples of commercial architecture in a heavily Irishsettled neighborhood, and perhaps, stop for a “wee pint.” Tour begins at St. Patrick’s Church, 280 N. Grant Ave.

June 20 - Italian Village Why does the neighborhood architecture behind one side of North High Street look so different from the neighborhood architecture on the other side? How did Italian Village come to have its distinct architecture -and was it influenced by Italians -since May 30 - Village of Olde North Columbus there seems to be Italianate influences? DeThe hidden village that is right before your veloped early by a variety of ethnic groups, eyes on North High Street, North Columbus heavily influenced by its adjacent industrial was a separate and thriving town from when neighbors, and held together by an active organized in the 1830s (platted 1842) until it community, Italian Village’s interesting herwas annexed into Columbus in the late 19th itage will be revealed! Tour begins at Train century. Though street names had to change Station Mural, 630 North High St. (there were already First, Second, Third, and

City Hop 2009 Join the Columbus Landmarks Foundation for the 10th annual City Hop June 13 and discover why Columbus residents are loving living downtown! This self-guided walking tour features eight furnished downtown properties, giving tour-goers an intimate look into Columbus’ urban lifestyle. City Hop is an adventure for those who want to see what it’s like to live downtown - a diverse selection of condos, lofts and townhomes will range from traditional to modern featuring everything from sleek new construction to the vintage character of converted historic buildings. In past years, CLF featured homes for sale or rent – this year they’ve added owneroccupied units. Owners will be on hand to answer your questions about living downtown – where to park, shop, eat, and more. City Hop tour stops include Neighborhood Launch, Annex at RiverSouth, Condominiums at North Bank Park, 8 on the Square, The Exchange Urban Lofts, Sixty Spring Condominiums, Carlyle’s Watch Penthouse, and CityView, with more stops to be announced soon! Pre-sale discount tickets are available online at: columbuslandmarks.org/events/city-hop/

may 2009

Urban legend: An old wives’tale embellished and perpetuated by gay men.

outlookcolumbus.com

Go erect a May Pole and dance around it!

may 2009

by Marcie Hallan and Chris Hayes

go often because her friend Mark comes in town every few weeks to rendezvous with a “I can’t believe you left me waiting for you for former lover by the name of Sven. By then 25 minutes!” was the first thing out of Sven’s she had reached our table and as she stuck mouth when I came walking into Cosi on Main the microphone in Sven’s face, asked “what’s St. in Bexley yesterday. “Geez, hello to you your name again?” too, Sunshine” I replied with a not so subtle hint of disgust. He rolled his eyes and huffed I grabbed the mic, turned to my boyfriend of all the way up to the counter. We had been two years and shouted, “Hmmm, how many speaking to each other this way for weeks friends named Sven can Mark possibly have now and neither of us was man enough to talk in Columbus, Ohio?” and stormed out of the about what was truly bothering us – the nightclub. Things have been tense, to say the source of all of the tension between us: Mark least, since then. Thibodeau! By now, our order had arrived at the table. As I stepped up to counter to check out the Sven was silently eating his Chicken Caesar extensive menu of soups, salads, flatbreads, Salad served with warm Cosi Flatbread and I hot and cold sandwiches, coffee drinks and a steaming hot cup of Tomato Basil Aurora dessert goodies, I couldn’t help but think Soup and a Pesto Chicken Melt with Mozabout Mark and how he is the reason Sven zarella Cheese and Sundried Tomato Spread and I are together. Mark had moved from that oozed out much like the love in our relaColumbus to Dallasina Harbor two years ago tionship. I decided to break the tension with and his twin sister threw him a going away some small talk. “Everything’s delicious, party that, coincidentally, was impeccably don’t you think?” Nothing. “All of this catered by Cosi - that’s where Sven and I met. for around $20! Not bad, huh?” Nothing. He stared at his salad, not even He was noshing on the Crudité Platter, I was acknowledging my remarks. making my way down the food table with stacking my plate full of Hummus, Fruit Skew- Realizing my efforts were futile, I ers, Cubed Brie and and Wasabi roast beef took a drink of my Mojito Lemonwith shredded romaine cocktail sandwiches, ade (non-alcoholic, with fresh mint when we both reached for the same carrot and a hint of lime) and, turned my stick. I looked at him and he looked at me attention to the other tables. Unforand time stopped. We talked for hours, tunately, what I saw was something started dating and the rest is history. out of a General Foods International Coffees commercial. In the corner a young, That was until last month when we attended beautiful, straight couple were staring lustNina’s latest show at Axis. Rob was bartending fully into each other’s eyes while feeding that night and Sven had one too many of his each other bites of Cosi’s Crème Brulee signature potent Flirtinis, which is basically Cheesecake. My heart broke into a million flirting with disaster. By the time Nina had pieces and fell onto the floor like bits of that completed her 3rd “One More Time!” encore, cheesecake’s Crisp Carmelized Sugar TopSven was at his fill of wigs and booze. As the ping. Why can’t our relationship be like that crowd began calling for yet another showing, again? Sven starting chanting “No More Times!” and then chucked his martini glass onto the At a table by the window, old friends were stage. Of course that brought everything to a laughing and talking as they split a Tuna halt, and I felt about as big as one of those Cheddar sandwich and Cosi Signature Salad Cosi gift cards, which really do make super composed of mixed greens, red grapes, stocking stuffers or employee bonus rewards. pears, pistachios, dried cranberries, gorNina quickly surveyed the crowd to see who gonzola and sherry shallot vinaigrette. the asshole was when her gaze knowingly fell upon my mess of a boyfriend. She quickly Sven and I used to be that in-sync, now I think grabbed a mic and I hoped I could exit we might be as empty as the bag of compliquicker than a Cosi employee makes your mentary Cosi chips that comes with any sandlunch, but no go. Super Drag Queens are wiches purchase. faster. Tears began to well up in my eyes, and I wonAs West made her way over the packed crowd dered if next week I would eating alone like toward us in the mezzanine, she began rethe woman next to us nibbling on her Garden canting a story about her good friend Mark Pesto Omelette Croissant. who was coming in town in a few weeks. While he was in town, she explained that they Just then, the barista started absent-mindedly would have to go to Mark’s favorite restausinging aloud a familiar tune, “I would hold rant Cosi for one of their delicious tomato, the hand of the one who could lead me basil and fresh Mozzarella cheese sandplaces. And kiss the lips of the one who could wiches garnished with sun-dried tomato sing so sweet…” The words struck somespread and shredded romaine. She went on to thing inside of me. All the memories we say how lucky she was because she a) loves shared - the reasons I fell in love with Sven to her some flatbread goodness and b) gets to begin with - came flooding back into my mind

may 2009

like pictures in an album. I had to get away from the table for a moment to collect myself. I didn’t want him to see me cry, nor could I take the chance of being rejected just because I blurted out a bunch of emotional nonsense in the middle of lunch. I jumped up. I excused myself to the coffee bar pretending to need a caffeine fix. I pretended to be having trouble deciding between a vanilla latte, a caramel cappuccino, a café Americano, or just a shot of espresso as I collected myself. “So much to choose from!” I managed to say to the barista. Finally, I ordered a Mint Arctic Mocha for myself and a Citrus Passion Fruit Smoothie for Sven (hoping to stir a little passion up in him).

alive…you are the fire burning inside of me…you are my passion for life!” After what seemed like a thousand years, Sven looked up from his whole grain flatbread at me with passion in his eyes. “You haven’t sung me that song in such a long time! I didn’t realize until now just how much I’d missed it…and you!” All was instantly forgiven. I knew that we were two of the lucky ones that would be sharing a Cosi signature Make-Your-Own Smores platter together forever. My heart (and tummy) was full.

We sat holding hands, and I was elated to have Sven in my right and a delicious frozen I made my way back to our table. I couldn’t coffee in my left. Nothing could bring me take it anymore…I knew I had to tell him how down! Not even the fact that Cosi still hasn’t I felt right then and there! I sat down, gotten back tofu for their salads or that I’d grabbed his hand and have to wait till Thanksgiving for their Turkey said, “Breathe in, Dinner sandwich or the fact that Mark and breathe Nina were walking right toward us. out…you keep me “Hey gurls!” Nina shouted. “How’s this for awkward!

What ended up catching the Gingerbread Man and eating him, and what did you learn from this parable? Discuss.

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There are 28 brothels in Nevada. They annually generate $50M. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s $203 per hour per brothel, every hour of every day of the year.

may 2009

You Can Always Go Downtown by Marcus Morris

newspapers, magazines, and porn. The stand should be fronted by a likeable guy, with a major moustache and unibrow, and he should be kosher with the queers. In Manhattan, you can’t swing a dick without hitting a newsstand. When I am trying to relax on a Sunday, I want to get a copy of The New York Times, and I am forced to go to a place that could care less about my desire to read Frank Rich’s column. The owner of such a newsstand could end up being the neighborhood gossip, and the source of plenty of hilarity. It could be like a sitcom.

The influx of condo buildings emerging downtown and in The Short North begs the silly, but valid question; where will they shop? There are plenty of new leaseholders, but the shops are not opening by leaps and bounds. What we could all benefit from are shops that actually cater to the people who live in the neighborhood without forcing them to leave to get necessities. I’ve come up with a list of 5 retail shops that I’d love to see in the gayborhoods, and which could hopefully add to the redevelopment. None of these is a tanning salon. Sorry. Go to the burbs. 3. What about a completely green retail space? The city could use a store that sustains 1. The first thing we need is a 24-hour con- itself. It could sell natural beauty products and cleaners, recycled toiletries, and the random venience store that doesn’t press its political things that we use daily, but with an environand moral opinions on its patrons. With the number of bars and clubs within walking dis- mental slant. It would not compete with the tance, there should be condoms for sale when North Market, but rather compliment the nature of the business. Leave the produce and food to you need them. It should also be clean, patrolled by the authorities, and staffed with peo- the people who’ve done it right for years. This ple who actually talk to you. My idea would be a place would be like a mini-Target. Without all of the Made In China stickers. The coolest thing Europia for the 3am set. It would smell good would be if the shop could have solar panels for when you walked in; yet still house the things you want to buy at 3am. How great would it be electricity, and collect rainwater for it’s daily usage. You could find a million green things to to stumble out of Havana at close, get a late night snack, maybe pick up a bottle of red, and populate this shop and most of them would be not get knifed by your local addicts? When you of use to someone. Plus, aren’t these developing neighborhoods supposed to be hip and purchase a condo for some $200,000, you would like to think that there could possibly be trendy? Everyone is attempting to be ecoa late-night establishment within walking dis- friendly in some respect, and this could be the tance that isn’t a front for coke. Oh, and the pa- equivalent of opening a new bar. Instead of Manolos, the footwear of choice would be trolman should also be cute. It ll be good for Birkenstocks and Earth Shoes. We kid, we kid. I business. am sure someone will wear vegan stilettos to the shop. It’s a given. 2. A newsstand. A big green box filled with

may 2009

4. Our neighborhoods are chock full of activities that involve booze, which isn’t a bad thing, but what about a place to just have fun? What about a bowling alley? A bowling alley still serves cocktails, and this could be a way to socialize outside of just getting effed up. I imagine a bowling alley for adults. Kids can have a Sunday morning league or something, while we nurse our hangovers, but I’d like a bowling alley where it’s cool to not be a kid! I want alcohol and cursing! Whenever you want to go bowling, you have to drive to the nether regions of our city. For the bowling party I last attended, we journeyed to the south end of town, and found the land of rough trade. Everyone looked like they had sold teeth for the water bill, and chain-smoked Doral Menthol 100’s. I felt incredibly nervous to slide my feet into the shoes, which seemed to look like they had been worn since we invaded Iraq the first time. The closest alternative to South Shit Street is Momo2 on Olentangy, which is like going to a crappy high school dance, if your theme was Harajuku Nights. I am not 19, so I would like to be entertained as if I am not thrilled to be out of the dorms! I also do not need to hear some Poli-Sci major at OSU with her first good pot buzz singing Katy Perry. We need a bowling alley!

weather the storm. If you lost your job, and have been thinking of starting a small out business, pair up with a friend who is seeking to do the same, and open something that will satisfy your passions and pique the local interest. Please do not open another shop that we’ve seen before. We do not need anymore of the same. The key to enduring is to have a unique concept, and unflappable effort to survive. Ask any of the local LGBT owned businesses. They have fought hard to maintain their success, and provide the neighborhoods with something that is needed. Support your queers in business. Keep it in the family. The city is going to continue to build condos until there is no room left, and we have to put them in the middle of High St. Most of us either live within the proximity, or are owners of many of the ultra-fab units for sale. The best thing about the continued growth of your community is the great people you come in contact with. You may meet your next boyfriend or girlfriend, best friend, or fuck-buddy at the development next door.

While we have an awesome amount of potential, we have an even greater threat of losing the identities of the city blocks that make the 5. The LGBT community built the downtown addresses so desirable. Supporting the busineighborhoods, and our contribution in terms of nesses within your doorstep is the best way to retail is fading. We need more LGBT shops! maintain a great community with a sense of More out and proud shops like Torso are neces- history. Sure, Toni at Easton is awesome at sary. With the number of layoffs and insane highlights, but you can go to Phia, get great economic twists we ve had to endure, let’s hair, and walk over to The Short North Tavern make an effort to not only open new shops, but afterward. They don’t make ’em like The Tavern also support those that have been able to in New Albany.

A bowling pin is 15” tall and 15” around at its maximum circumference. A soda can is 4.8” x 7.85”. An AOL hookup is always 9” x 6”.

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60,000 people die each year worldwide from sun-exposure related illness and disease.

may 2009

St Lou Is Family, Food, & Fashion By Michael Daniels Photo by Vic Nettle

blocks back to our hotel in the cool St. Louis night – arm in arm, both wearing our tuxes and Robbie sportWhen Robbie and I found out that my ing a black feather boa – and never spirit sibling Glenna was getting mar- felt unsafe. If you’re going to have a ried to the man of her dreams, John, commitment ceremony in St. Louis, the last weekend in March, we knew put the Thaxton Speakeasy at the top we were going to be there – wild of your venue list. horses couldn’t keep us away from my baby sis’s wedding – but we Leaving John and Glenna to do whatweren’t sure that there’d be a lot to ever it is that straight people do on do outside of the ceremony and retheir wedding night and the day after, ception. Were we ever wrong! Robbie and I were whisked off for our own special events day on Sunday. We left Columbus on Friday evening and made the 7-hour drive to the We checked out of the Hilton and into Gateway of the West, checking in to Hotel Lumiere (www.lumiereplace. the Hilton downtown com), the namesake hotel of Lumiere (www.hilton.com) and barely getting Place’s complex of hotels, restauour bags into our room before falling rants, bars, casinos, and boutiques. sound asleep. Our very large two-room suite featured two flat screen TVs, and the We slept in on Saturday morning, most comfortable pillowtop bed with waking to the sound of a steady Egyptian cotton sheets. falling rain in the city. Not wanting to even attempt a walking tour in wet We didn’t even have time to put in our weather, we opted for the much more bags before we were met in the lobby civilized option of eating brunch at by our hostess for the day, Rebecca the hotel’s signature restaurant, 400 Rogers from the St. Louis Convention Olive (www.400olive.com). The Fa& Visitors Commission. We instantly vorite Pairing option for $9 is a great fell in love with her personality and deal – I had ½ red curry shrimp wrap knowledge of the City, and knew our and the corn and crab chowder, while day with her was going to be like Robbie opted for ½ smoked turkey hanging out with a favorite girlfriend. club and the specialty house salad – It was! called the Merchant Laclede – with baby spinach, strawberries, mandarin We started off at the Gateway Arch oranges, macadamia nuts, cheddar, (www.gatewayarch.com), a National and honey poppyseed dressing. The Park that is much more than just the Bloody Marys were spicy and tasty – Arch monument itself. The complex and brunch lasted two hours. It was a offers riverboat cruises, a café, a quite nice and relaxing time for us to four-story movie screen, the Museum just be together and prepare for of Westward Expansion, and two muGlenna’s big night. seum stores (where we purchased our requisite obnoxious refrigerator The wedding was held at John and magnet souvenir). We did take the elGlenna’s favorite watering hole – the evator/tram/little-egg-shaped-podThaxton Speakeasy (www.thaxtontrain to the top of the arch – and the speakeasy.com). For those of you view from 630 feet is amazing. The unhip to 1920s jive, a speakeasy is an claustrophobic (me) and those with illicit bar selling bootleg liquor during vertigo (Robbie) are urged to breathe the period of Prohibition. The term slowly, but it’s worth it. comes from a patron’s manner of ordering alcohol without raising suspi- We left the Arch to grab brunch at the cion. Bartenders would tell patrons to Coronado Ballroom (www.thecoronbe quiet and “speak easy.” Today, ado.com) with food by steven becker this speakeasy is a downtown, under- express (www.stevenbeckerfd.com). ground lounge, located in the historic The offerings were ample, varied, and Thaxton building. Restored to its delicious, and the mimosas and 1920s art deco splendor, Speakeasy Bloody Marys satisfying. Think of the at the Thaxton seduces with opulence Coronado for commitment cereand pleases with a swanky vibe. John monies and private events. was dashing, Glenna was simply radiant, the pagan ceremony was beauti- Our next stop was a total accident – ful, and the afterparty … well, let’s we’d seen signs for a “Good Friday” just say it was so much fun that I exhibit at The Museum of Contempoflirted with more than one straight rary Religious Art (mocra.slu.edu), guy while Glenna led Robbie around and we couldn’t resist checking it the dance floor. We walked the six out. We were impressed and sur-

may 2009

prised. MOCRA is the world’s first interfaith museum of contemporary art that engages religious and spiritual themes. Part of the University of St Louis, the museum has hosted exhibits as varied as “Consecrations: The Spiritual in Art in the Time of AIDS” (1994), “Keith Haring: The Life of Christ Alterpiece” (1995), “Lewis DeSoto: Paranirvana” (2000), “Andy Warhol: Silver Clouds” (2001), and “The Celluloid Bible: Marketing Films Inspired by Scripture” (2007). We were wowed by the museum’s collection, presentation, and interfaith appeal. We returned to Hotel Lumiere, unpacked, grabbed a snack and a Bloody Mary, and headed to the day’s main event – the 80th Annual Fashion Design Show of the students from Sam Fox School of Design (samfoxschool.wustl.edu) at Washington University which is the closing event of St. Louis Fashion Week (www.saintlouisfashionweek.com). We met Rebecca at the pre-party, then proceeded to our front row runway seats (Rebecca rocks!) for 60 minutes of fashion and adrenalin. The students’ designs blew us away, especially those from Jeremiah Xavier Avila, Windnie Pan, and Tara Phelan. We ended the day with Bloody Marys and nickel slots at Lumiere Casino before turning in for the night. We packed the Subaru and headed out on Monday, but not before having lunch at the Atomic Cowboy (www.atomic-cowboy.com), the place in town for burgers and burritos. Try the Flyin’ Mayan Burrito and the Atomic Burger, and ask for Alex as your server. For all the details on GLBT life and politics in St. Louis, check out The Vital Voice (www.thevitalvoice.com), where we popped in to share ideas, strategize, and commiserate with our colleague, publisher Pam Schnieder. There were many things we didn’t get to do on this trip, including the City Museum, the Missouri Botanical Gardens, the totally-renovated Union Station, a visit to Wash U, and a game at the new Busch Stadium. But we know we’ll be back – we have to visit Glenna and John again soon. Don’t be afraid to visit The Gateway City – it’s a weekend trip well worth the drive or flight, with plenty to see and do in a welcoming and affirming City with a vibrant queer community.

Did you know St Louis has the 2nd-largest Mardi Gras in the country? One year there people thought Chris was Beck. Drunks are silly.

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Erectile dysfunction drugs have annual sales of more than $3 billion.

may 2009

In Spain, the derogatory word for homosexual translates as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Frenchman.â&#x20AC;?

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THURBER HOUSE: FULL OF ADVENTURE, HEROISM, GREED & DISCOVERY by Patty Donahey Geiger The 2009 Winter/Spring Evenings with Authors series will end the season with a tale of adventure, heroism, greed and discovery when Thurber House presents Tony Horwitz, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and author of the New York Times bestseller, A Voyage Long and Strange, May 15, 7:30 p.m., at the Columbus School for Girls, 56 S. Columbia Ave. Inspired by a visit to Plymouth Rock, Horwitz chronicles his participatory approach to history, as he searches for the genuine bones of Christopher Columbus and dons the heavy gear once worn by the conquistadors. Equal parts historian, journalist and adventurer, he pursues the truth behind the myth to determine what really happened in America from the 1400s through the Pilgrims’ landing. “What would it be like, I wondered, to explore the New World, not only in books but on the ground? To take a pre-Pilgrimage through early America - rediscover my native land?” Horwitz asked. During his quest to find the answers, Horwitz embarked on a cross-continent odyssey. From Newfoundland, to an Indian sweat lodge in subarctic Canada, onward to the Dominican Republic, the deserts of Mexico and Arizona and then down the Mississippi in a canoe, his expedition encountered a variety of adventures. In the Voyage, he researches and retraces the routes of Vikings, explorers, friars, castaways and conquistadors who roamed America long before the Mayflower dropped anchor, and then he concludes his journey where it all started, Plymouth Rock. Following their adventures with Horwitz, Thurber House fans will return to the safe harbor of the Thurber House Summer 2009 Literary Picnics, featuring five events and authors with an Ohio connection. From June through August, Thurber House puts out the welcome mat for authors and guests alike, inviting everyone to relax on the side lawn for the outdoor picnics at 77 Jefferson Ave. The picnics begin with the Thurber Treat, Wednesday, June 10, and special guest host, Johnny DiLoretto, FOX 28 Good Day Columbus reporter. The Thurber Treat writing contest, in celebration of the Thurber House 25th anniversary, is asking local authors to write about their

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Thurber House unforgettable experiences or memories. Three winners will be chosen to read their entries at the Treat. Wednesday picnics that follow will feature, among other awards and accolades received, a Pulitzer Prize winner, a New York Times bestselling author and a popular Ohio mystery writer. And, for the first time, the series will present one picnic, NEW VOICES, highlighting emerging, talented authors of fiction, poetry and creative non-fiction. THE 2009 LITERARY PICNICS LINE-UP OF GUEST AUTHORS READINGS: • A Thurber Treat, Wednesday, June 10 • Julia Keller, Wednesday, June 24 Winner of the 2005 Pulitzer Prize for feature writing, her debut book is Mr. Gatling’s Terrible Marvel, a riveting account of the Gatling gun’s invention and impact on the world. •JJennifer Crusie, Wed, July 8 Crusie s latest novel is Always Kiss Me Goodnight, her version of The Turn of the Screw, complete with ghosts and orphans. •NNEW VOICES: Wed, July 22 - Christopher Barzak‘s latest work, The Love We Share Without Knowing, is a haunting, richly woven novel. - David Giffels‘ book, All the Way Home: Building a Family in a Falling-down House, is a memoir of his growing into parenthood while restoring a ramshackle mansion. - Jay Siegel is an Ohio native and poet who finds his inspiration in Ohio and small town life in the Midwest. • P.L. Gaus, Wed, August 5 Gaus, author of a popular series of mystery novels set in Holmes County, Ohio, has written his sixth and latest book in the Ohio Amish Mystery series, Separate from the World. Event Information: • Evenings with Authors tickets: $18 in advance, $20 at the door, with discounts for students and seniors. • Literary picnickers are asked to bring a chair or a blanket for seating, and they may order a catered dinner or bring their own; 5:20p, free guided tours begin; 6:15p, dinner is served; 7p, the reading begins; Reading only tickets: Adults, $15; children (ages 12 and under), $5; Dinner and reading tickets: $25 For more event information, visit www.thurberhouse.org or call 614.464.1032. Patty Donahey Geiger is Marketing/Media Relations Consultant for Thurber House, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. For information visit www.camaonline.org.

fact: Corn is Hayes’s favorite vegetable. He can’t wait for the Millersport Corn Fest this year. Photo © Christopher Barzack

may 2009

4% of outlook readers have dial-up access. Please talk slowly when trying to hook up with them.

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by Romeo San Vicente

Mitchell takes Eckhart and Kidman Down the Rabbit Hole

Green Day’s American Idiot Becomes a Musical

Hit-making (and very pro-queer) pop-punks Green Day are taking their multi-platinum Why is that so many hack directors crank out 2004 concept album American Idiot and turnmovie after movie while the really talented ing it into a stage musical. (You’ll recall the filmmakers make us wait? John Cameron title song, in which lead singer Billie Joe ArmMitchell took five long years after Hedwig and strong reasoned, “Maybe I am the faggot the Angry Inch to get 2006’s Shortbus into the- America/I’m not part of a redneck agenda.”) aters, and he’s only now getting rolling on his American Idiot, like the album that spawned third feature, which sounds both fascinating it, is about coming of age in an America and mass-audience friendly. Mitchell has been rocked by 9/11, and it makes its stage pretapped to bring the Pulitzer Prize–winning miere in September at the Berkeley Repertory Broadway hit Rabbit Hole to the big screen, Theatre in California. Running the show is gay and he’s got Aaron Eckhart and Nicole Kidman Broadway biggie Michael Mayer, who won a in the lead roles. David Lindsay-Abaire will Tony for putting together Spring Awakening; adapt his own play, which tells the story of a his other credits include the musicals Thormarried couple taking an emotional journey oughly Modern Millie and the revival of You’re after sudden tragedy strikes. Kidman is proa Good Man, Charlie Brown, so he knows what ducing and will play the role that won lesbian he’s doing. Don’t be surprised to see this Idiot actress Cynthia Nixon a Tony. Shooting starts go all the way to the Great White Way. in late May, so Rabbit Hole might be finished in time for Oscar contention at the end of the Showtime Goes Way Out year. Or next. Or maybe the one after that. Every gay man and lesbian has his or her own Kristanna Loken Rolls up to Janjaweed coming-out story, but the process of disclosing your sexual orientation to the world is about to Oh, Kristanna Loken, you may be married now, become good TV. Showtime has brought on but to Romeo you’ll always be the loose-lipped two producers of the utterly addictive Intervenbisexual who outed her girlfriend in an Advo- tion to create Way Out, a weekly show that will cate interview and set Shane’s hair salon– follow LGBT subjects on their journey out of the skateboard park–clothing store–smoothie hut closet. A nationwide search is currently underon fire on The L Word. And now you re-reunit- way to find the subjects for the first season; ing with your Bloodrayne director, the infathe creators say the goal of the show is to help mous Uwe Boll, for another movie. And it’s out not only the people who go before their about Darfur. Because, really, who doesn’t cameras but also viewers who might not think want to see a film about one of the great they know any queer folks or who don t undertragedies of the modern era directed by the stand the toll involved in keeping a major part guy who gave us grade-Z entertainment dis- of one s life a secret. Look for a Way Out in late asters like Alone in the Dark and In the Name 2009 or early 2010. of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale? Joining Romeo San Vicente takes no responsibility for outing that Loken on what promises to be a fascinating journey are Billy Zane and the long-out-of-the- A-list actor. The man in question should have picked a hotel with better soundproofing. He can be reached care spotlight Edward Furlong. Shooting comof this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndimences soon, but Boll’s got a very full cate.com. schedule (quantity, not quality, is this man’s m.o.), so a release date is anyone’s guess.

propriateness of outing, seeing as it makes being gay into some sort of crime to be exposed, are the witticisms of openly gay Congressman Barney Frank and former NJ Governor Jim McGreevey’s phony media manipulation disguised as sincerity (which includes him crying to the camera), and a lengthy segment on Outrage, in which Florida Governor Charlie Crist’s sexuality, and how the mainDick intended to stream press has ignored it. It is really unclear who the audience expose the is for the movie, except those who need their worldview reinhypocrisy of gay forced. Just as with This Film Is Not Yet Rated, Outrage is very politicians who unfocused and broad, jumping around far too much, despite vote against gay covering only one topic. Dick works better in intimate, specific issues and stay in situations, such as his amazing documentaries, Sick and the Outrage the closet falls into the same trap. If you know anything about just released to DVD, Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrothe subject matter, there is no reason to see the movie. If you’re gate. Both Sick and Private Practices are awkward, incredibly by Adam Lippe familiar with the fact that former NY mayor Ed Koch, Congress- personal, and so insightful as to make the viewer thoroughly unKirby Dick’s last film, This Film is Not Yet Rated, had a wonderful man David Drier, former Congressman Jim McCrery, former Ari- comfortable, never letting you shy away from its honesty. Outpremise, exposing the hypocrisy and discrimination of the MPAA, zona mayor Neil Giuliano, former RNC chairman Ken Mehlman, rage is made from a distance, only skimming the surface of its Fox News’ Shepard Smith, and a few others might be or are gay, fascinating subject matter, missing opportunity after opportunity by comparing sexual scenes that were deemed acceptable by cutting to news clips, and PR coups staged as honest and di(white and straight), vs. very similar content (with black and/or then you’ve saved yourself $10, there are no new revelations. Seeing as Outrage is small and shot on video, it seems better rect interviews. The thrown together feel of the movie suggests gay couples), which was not. Using a private detective, Dick went as far as tracking down the members of this elusive group suited to TV anyway, which will likely be its inevitable mainstay that it was trying to hurry up in order to capitalize on something, (from Outrage’s cheap look, it’s pretty clear there was more but that something never arrives, a shame considering how easwhose members are purposefully hidden from the public. He money spent on legal consultations to avoid libel than on the ac- ily a movie like this could open up discussions in conservative identified each and every one of those “spokesmen” for the schools and communities. Outrage, like This Film Is Not Yet American family and just as he was able to make a real break- tual movie). Rated, is important, even if it isn’t much good. through, by interviewing some of them and asking them how they made decisions, or if the rumors about Catholic priests sit- What’s left, besides talking heads from gay alliance and former Read more of Adam’s reviews at RegrettableSincerity.com ting on the process were true, the movie ended. We were left with Log Cabin Republican members expressing anger about being the names of people we never hear from and that we would not lied to and an unfortunately minimal discussion about the ap-

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recognize on the street, making all the work Dick did rather pointless.

Nina West is well versed in American Idiots. We encourage her to try out for the musical. Kidman photo: 20th Century Fox

may 2009

Personal Genius By B. Voss With nearly 30 years in the limelight and more than 100 million albums sold worldwide, Depeche Mode could easily sit back and enjoy the silence. Yet after the British electro-pop oautfit releases its 12th studio album, Sounds of the Universe, on April 21, the influential trio Dave Gahan, Martin Gore and Andy Fletcher - will jumpstart a 24-city North American stadium tour on July 24. Gore, the group s chief songwriter, tells us about their early wrongs but details why Depeche Mode has always done right by devout gay fans. Your self-deprecating new single, “Wrong,” sounds like it was written by someone who just had a really bad day. Martin Gore: I think it was probably more than a day. [Laughs] I hope people don’t take it in a really depressing way, because I like to think that I’ve somehow made it into a bit of a comedy moment. There’s a bit of black humor in there. It makes me laugh when I say that there’s something wrong with me chemically, something wrong with me inherently. Has Depeche Mode done anything wrong enough to regret? Regret would be too strong a word, but we’ve done a lot of things wrong. When we first started out, we were just young kids, really, who had put a band together. Suddenly we were rushed into the spotlight. If there was a photo session and the photographer said, “Put on these stupid outfits,” we said, “Okay.” We just went along. We have to take some of the blame for some of the stupid outfits as well, because we didn t have a stylist; we just wore what we felt was appropriate, which was totally inappropriate. What fashion statements will you make on your upcoming tour? I’m going to be a cosmic Teddy Boy. I don’t think the term “Teddy Boy” exists in America, does it? It’s like a ’50s rock ‘n roll look where they have the pompadours and the drape jackets. Me and a friend of mine, Sara Freegard, came up with the idea, and a punk tailor in London, Tom Baker, made all the stuff. And I’ve got these amazing shoes that were made by Terry de Havilland. Dance remixes of “Wrong” are burning up the clubs. As a songwriter, how do you feel about other artists remixing

may 2009

Martin Gore looks back with no regrets, and Depeche Mode’s new disc sounds anything but “Wrong”

your tracks? We put a lot of time into choosing the remixers who actually work on the tracks. We generally use an artist that we genuinely like, an artist whose work we think is challenging, and we ve always managed to catch people who are just about to break. I totally think our remixes over the years have been of a very high caliber. Sounds of the Universe will be released as a special edition CD/DVD and a deluxe box set with loads of exclusive extras, including demos, behind-thescenes interviews and other making-of material. Why was it important with this album to share so much of your process? One of the ways you can try to get around people just downloading stuff on the Internet is by providing quality and something the fans really want to get a hold of. The music will all end up on the Internet, no question about that, but here there are three DVDs and special booklets, one by Anton Corbijn of band shots and another of candid shots from the studio, and that’s just something you can’t download. The better you make the package, the more likely people will go out and buy it, and we’re really proud of this album. We’re in rehearsals right now for the tour, trying to put the set list together, and it’s the first time we feel we could and should just go out and play the whole album. But we realize we can’t do that because that’s sort of indulgent. “Oh Well,” which appears on the box set edition and as a b-side of “Wrong,” marks the first time you and Dave Gahan wrote a song together. Was that a harmonious collaboration? Well, we didn’t sit down in a room and write a song together. It started out as a techno track that I wrote. When I first played it for Dave, he liked it so much that he went back to the hotel that night and started writing some words and melody on top of it. But this album is actually the most relaxed one we ve ever made, and there was a really great atmosphere in the studio. Everybody was a bit sad when the whole project finished; we wanted to carry on, and that’s never happened before. You once said your large gay fan base was “really an achievement, because we are not a gay band ourselves.” The Bloodhound Gang’s 1997 single “I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks” even contains the lyric, If I were gay

I’d appreciate Depeche Mode. Why has the gay community always been so drawn to Depeche Mode? One of the things you touched on is the dance aspect of the band, because we do put out a lot of dance tracks and remixes. And there is a real sensitive side to the band, which our gay audience relates to. Our music was quite out there, I suppose, and maybe in some ways that helped gay people to express themselves. People come up to me - sometimes gay, sometimes straight - and say, I just want to tell you that your music has changed my life. That is such an amazing statement, and it happens on such a regular basis that it seems like I m making it up. I read that it s not one of your favorite tracks, but did you have any idea that “People Are People” would become an anthem for the LGBT community? I didn’t realize that at the time because I was writing more generally about hatred I’d seen. At one point I was chased for absolutely no reason whatsoever by guys who decided they wanted to beat me up. They ran up behind me and started kicking and punching me. Fortunately, I m quite a fast runner, so I only got beaten up a bit before I managed to run away. Did you like RuPaul’s 2006 “People Are People” cover? That one must’ve passed me by. I’ll have to YouTube it. What about Hilary Duff’s recent single “Reach Out,” which heavily sampled “Personal Jesus”? Yeah. I think it’s interesting that younger audiences are interested in sampling our music, and we felt it was harmless enough to approve the use of it. It’s always flattering when someone covers your song because it means they obviously like you, and the song must mean something to them. Unfortunately, the majority of the requests I get to approve come from Germany, and they re usually just techno versions that have no inspiration whatsoever, with some guy singing over-the-top in a really heavy German accent. I still usually approve them. They have to be really dreadful for me to say no, because these people probably put their heart and soul into covering our songs. But it’s great when people do amazing versions. When Johnny Cash did “Personal Jesus” that just blew my mind. Depeche Mode Sounds of the Universe (available Apr. 21st. More info: www.depechemode.com)

wikifact: duct tape was originally developed during World War II as a water resistant sealing tape for ammunition cases

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Business Card Resource Directory - wiki fact: One of the major business card collectors' clubs is the IBCC, International Business Card Collectors.

may 2009

by Dan Savage

So, yeah, you should consider counseling to tame your personality. Your alleged virtues - extremely intense! extremely romantic! extremely idealistic! - may not themselves be the problem. But if the people living outside your skull have identified them as impediments to your professed romantic goals, WHDMA, then there’s something problematic about the way you re expressing them.

I’m a 32-year-old, very attractive, very fit SWM living in NYC. I’m wellread and well-spoken. I march to the beat of my own drum. Friends tell me that my personality is intense. It must be true - everyone concurs. I’m extremely idealistic, and I count myself as a romantic. I’m interested in an intense and consuming love affair with a woman. But friends tell me And that lady friend who offered to that my approach to courtship and take you out and act as your wingman? my energy scare women off. I suspect she was trying to pull the stick out of your ass and trying to get I’m tired of fouling things up and you to see that dating - at least at the making myself lonely. Yet, when a outset - is about pleasure, not intenlady friend of mine, in response to sity. I assure you that bars all over the my most recent upset, suggested I spend a night out with her where she civilized world are packed with “ranwould act as my wingman, I recoiled. dom women” as interested in intense Prowling for random women in a bar and consuming love affairs as you are. You might want to give them a chance. doesn t fit my sense of romance. Should I consider counseling to try to tame my personality? Should I just be myself and continue being lonely and misunderstood? Wild Horses Drag Me Away You don’t give me much to go on, WHDMA. It would help to know, for example, what exactly you re doing - besides being all intensely romantic and extremely idealistic and physically fit and stuff - that scares women off. How does your intensity manifest itself? Without that info, it’s difficult to whip up some advice for you.

Assholes who have friends sometimes conclude that there’s something wrong with dating or bars or all the women and/or men on the planet because, hey, I’ve got friends - and if my friends can stand me, why couldn’t my ex-girlfriend(s)? But friending, if I may borrow Facebook s proprietary verb, an asshole is easy; dating an asshole is hard. (Or that’s what my boyfriend tells me, anyway.) A friendship involves a smaller time commitment; a girlfriend, if you could keep one, is required to spend much more time with you. Not only that, WHDMA, but people who are romantically involved with assholes come in for a higher degree of scrutiny. A person with an asshole friend is regarded as tolerant and/or indulgent and/or foolish. But a person with an asshole boyfriend is viewed as having a character flaw. Or several: lousy taste in men, the wrong kind of masochistic streak, low self-esteem, abuse issues, etc.

may 2009

If he won t do any of that, reconsider DTMFA.

I thought I knew what teabagging meant: to dip a man’s testicles in and out of your mouth. But during a recent conversation about the Republican teabagging craze, my boyfriend told me that teabagging meant to put your balls into someone else’s mouth. A person without balls, he inA long time ago I experienced, late one nite, roasted, drunk, blah, blah, sists, can’t do the teabagging. But blah!!! This brother picked me up and many people I know think they are the teabagger and their partner is drove me to his place and screwed me good. He said I was hot!!! I really the one being teabagged. An Internet liked it, had an anal orgasm!!! It was search turns up both definitions. So, Dan, I’m asking you - as an expert on indescribable. I loved it!!! He gave me his number. But I was too shy to all things both political and sexual call back. Never saw him again. So I do any of us hetero females have a bought dildos and proceeded to fuck chance of teabagging President myself and get drunk or high (weed) Obama? Don t get me wrong: I want to teabag the president for all the every night!!! What does that make right reasons. I’m a supporter. I just me? Closet drunk? Closet English want in on any political activity that cigarette? I like pussy, too! involves Obama’s balls in my mouth. Whatzup?! Anonymously Me

But I can do a little decoding for you: When friends say your personality is “intense,” what they typically mean is “you are an asshole.”

little bit of blood shouldn’t be asking his girlfriend to ingest whatever trace amounts of urine might be lurking in his urethra. But if he wants you to blow him - to keep him content during your period - then he needs to find a way to do the same for you. If he can’t bring himself to fuck you during your period, AFTER, then at the very least he can help you get off with a vibrator, or engage in outercourse with you, or mutual masturbation, or eat your pussy through a wad of Saran Wrap.

The Earnest Aspirant

Let’s say you were in the West Wing with Barack Obama’s sack resting comfortably in your mouth. Perhaps My boyfriend refuses to have any kind of intercourse with me while my you had done something meritorious Aunt Flo is visiting. I’m not asking to defeated the Somalian pirates, sworn have sex when I m on my heavy days, in Senator Al Franken - and you were just at the beginning and tail ends of being awarded the Presidential Wattle of Freedom. The New York Times might my period. He says it’s disgusting, even if he wears a condom, and that report, “The president of the United States and a Savage Love reader were it makes his stomach turn to even think about it. I find this terribly frus- spotted ‘teabagging’ in the Oval Office today.” trating because my period lasts a good 10 days (according to his definition), and I have to go without any But while you can teabag with the loving the whole time. And yet he ex- president, TEA, you don’t have what it takes to administer a teabagging to pects me to blow him on a regular basis during that time. I love him, and the president. To teabag someone, you I’d rather not DTMFA over this. What need a scrotum with which to teabag them: The teabagger dips sack; a can I do? teabaggee receives dipped sack. It’s a Aunt Flo Terminates Erection Return little confusing, I realize, in that it’s the opposite of a blowjob: The person with Only blow him on days when he hasn’t a dick in his or her mouth is giving the blowjob; the person being sucked is reused his penis to urinate. ceiving the blowjob. But language is Because really, AFTER, how can he ask funny that way. you to suck cock on days when pee comes out of his thing? That’s just as Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. disgusting - it’s more disgusting mail@savagelove.net than a little bit of blood on the condom. And any guy who can’t handle a I don’t have the faintest idea!!!

aspirant (áspərənt) noun: a person who has ambitions to achieve something

outlookcolumbus.com

We used to really like glam metal band White Lion. Unfortunately, they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait, so we never got a chance to love them.

may 2009

Super-star server and drink slinger Kiki (aka Kristyn Sancho) works her magic as part of the Roy G Biv family of rockers. This funny girl holds court at both U Cafe & Havana where her quick dry wit puts smiles on everyone around her. Kiki has made a name for herself by not only giving great service, but from the years of stalking Kelly Clarkston whom she says she’s “a sucker for!”

KIKI

This debutant is celebrating four years in The Bus since her pilgrimage from Marysville. The Italian Village resident sports a cute, punky, lesbo-mania style sometimes accompanied by her oh-sosmart specs. But Ms Sancho’s ultimate accessory is her rattail. Like that mood ring your aunt Moonbeam wears, Kiki’s tail changes color to suit her state of mind. As part of the rattail pack, we adore it! Kiki says the best girls’ night in town is any night swapping spit alone with her honey. A close second though, is Mondays at Havana where she’ll pour you a healthy elixir. Ever the altruist, she hopes to use her icon status to score free drinks from her ever-growing fan base. KikiKrazies should feed her a Jameson neat with a side of OJ whenever they get a chance.

By Jack Fertig

let it pass! If not, be very ready to apologize.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Is it pragmatism or stubborn fear that’s shooting at your dreams? You may have to recalculate your long-range ambitions, but don t give them up entirely. Insights from friends seem confusing at first, but can prove helpful if you sit and think about them.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Cheating at anything will blow up in your face. Or perhaps it’s someone else cheating on you. Expect rude surprises in anything fun. This is no time to explore skydiving or erotic asphyxiation.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): Of course you re getting into all those arguments because it s your friends who are being so stubborn. Yeah. Right. The conflicts between your arguments and your real aims are much more apparent to others than to you. Stop. Listen. Learn!

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): The point of fun is to have fun. Don’t be too attached to the rules. You need a good tickling, like it or not. Somehow you will either provoke or emit protests of screaming and shouting. Getting tickled is safest. Coochie-coo!

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): DedicaGEMINI (May 21- June 20): tion at work can distract Friends at work seem to be you from needs at home, holding you back from maybe including a thorachieving your goals. They ough cleaning to protect are probably, in fact, pre- yourself from allergies, venting you from making a mold or other environmenhuge mistake! At least con- tal illnesses. At least make sider what they have to sure not to neglect your say. family or housemates.

LEO (July 23 – August 22): The way your secrets, especially the sexy ones, pop out, it’s a good thing you’re not shy. Maintaining your dignity may be a challenge, though! Rolling your eyes to express long suffering with impertinence only works with a touch of irony. (Google Margaret Dumont.)

another celeb you’d like to meet?

“I’d like to make out with P!NK and party with her for one night!”

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Household expenses contain nasty surprises. Rethink the budget; find new ways to economize. Put your mind to it and you can find some very good ways to save money. Staying calm is the hardest part.

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): The more careVIRGO (August 23 – Sepfully you measure your tember 22): A little spat words and shut your lips, with your partner can get the likelier secrets will get way out of hand. Cool out. Don’t even think about down. Make every effort to them! Word games and be adaptable and to see songs – the more outrathings from the other side. geous the better – will You probably agree more offer a safe distraction. than you realize, and can learn from what differARIES (March 20 – April ences there are. 19): These days everyone’s worried about money, but LIBRA (September 23 – Oc- which of your worries are tober 22): Every STD in real? Take time out to medtown seems to be looking itate and do some mental for you, so be very good, or housecleaning to sort the at least be very careful! paranoiac fears from the Someone at work is likely real problems. Then deal to be offended. If it’s you, with the latter.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,

may 2009

rat tails rule! the Guinness World Record for longest rattail measures 4 feet 9 inches held by Grant Ruramora.

outlookcolumbus.com

We want to know what ever happened to a good banana seat?

may 2009

JIM ARTER IS HOTTER THAN A SOCCER DAD Forte: 80s Prom Night @ Pomerene Hall, OSU, 614.228.CGMC, www.cgmc.com. Join the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus at their annual fundraiser and to honor local legend Jim Arter for his quintessential embodiment of the Chorus’ vision. $150 - and ask to sit at the Outlook table!

HOT SOCCER DADS Rock on the Range @ Crew Stadium, www.rockontherange.com. America’s premier destination rock festival comes to Crew Stadium with acts such as Motley Crue, Alice in Chains, Avenged Sevenfold, Korn, Buckcherry, Shinedown, Sick Puppies, State of Shock, Charm City Devils, and a ton of others. Come get drunk and pick up straight guys and gals. Two day-long event through May 17. General admission stadium seats $54.50, two-day GA stadium seats $99.50. VIP tix available.

KICK BREAST CANCER’S EVIL ASS 2nd Annual PINK Party @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com. Benefiting the Susan G Komen Foundation. Come dance, enjoy UV vodka specials, and help put an end to this disease that affects lesbians more than 3.5x as often as it does straight women. And learn why that fact is true! Scot and crew suggest $10 at the door; we suggest you give a whole lot more. Our sisters deserve it! Doors 9p.

SAT, MAY 30 RIDE LIKE MIKE Bike Columbus @ COSI, 333 W Broad St, www.considerbiking.org. Join Mayor Michael Coleman and the Institute for Active Living, headed by our own Barb Seckler, for a day of fun for cyclists of all ages. 7:30a-12:30p. $20 per cyclist until May 18, then $30. See ad on the inside back cover of this issue.

Cincinnati Fringe Festival @ Know Theatre of Cincinnati, 513.300.5669, www.cincyfringe.com. Crazyass theatre including “66 Years of Faggotry” and other family dramas. Single tickets from $12, Full Frontal passes $200, Voyeur passes $60. You figure it out. Through June 6.

COSTUMES

MON, MAY 26 FRINGE LIKE EDGY, NOT LIKE TACKY COUNTRY

SUN, MAY 24 ES-KA-PAY: THAT’S FUNNY, IT’S SPELLED JUST LIKE ESCAPE DJ Escape: Global Groove Tour @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.columbusnightlife.com, www.centaurmusic.com. Vin Diesel lookalike DJ Escape brings his national tour to The Bus. Sweaty, steamy guaranteed. Call for details.

Building Responsibility, Equality and FRI, MAY 22 Dignity, and the food pantry at St Paul SINCE YOU HAVE THAT PEN HANDY, MAKE MY CODPIECE LARGER UCC. 7p Sat May 9, 2:30p Sun May The Cartoonist: Jeff Smith, Bone, 10. $10. and the Changing Face of Comics @ Wexner Center for the Arts, WED, MAY 13 www.wexarts.org. Come see this porGAYS NETWORK BEST Network Columbus @ Marcia Evans trait of Columbus-based cartoonist Gallery, 8 E Lincoln. www.networkand Bone-creator Jeff Smith and his columbus.com. Join us for our impact on the field of comics. 7p. monthly networking event, and hear from The Legacy Fund on how you can HONORING OUR HEROES Healing Field of Heroes Flag Memoleave your mark! 6-8p, free. rial @ Westerville Sports Complex, www.fieldofheroes.org. Over 1500 DEMAND YOUR RIGHTS Lobby Day for Equality @ Ohio State- 3’x5’ US flags will fly proudly over the Westerville Sports Complex as part of house. Sponsored by Equality Ohio, this national project. Opening cerewww.equalityohio.org, come meet with your representative and senator monies 10a. Attendance is free, flags may be ordered for $30 and flown in and speak out for equal rights for everyone! Details at the Equality Ohio honor of the person of your choice through Memorial Day, after which website. they are yours to keep. SAT, MAY 16 SAT, MAY 23 BUY TRAUT’S STUFF! Agora @ Junctionview Studios, 889 FEATHER, NOT DOT Williams Ave, http://junctionviewstu- NAICCO Pow Wow @ Franklin County Fairgrounds, 4100 Columbus St, dios.com. Art, music, performance, food, drink, crafts, afterparty. Buy cool 614.443.6120. Celebrate cultural traditions within the Native American stuff! Noon-midnight, free. community at this annual Native American Indian Center of Central Ohio event. 11a-7p, $7. Through May 25.

• • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • FRI, MAY 1 MON, MAY 4 OUTLOOK:COLUMBUS LAUNCH PARTY!!!! @ WE SMILE & NOD A LOT Havana, 862 N High St, Team Smile and Nod opening for Je614.421.9697, www.columbusremy Jay and Super Desserts @ The nightlife.com. Come get your premiere Treehouse, 887 Chambers Rd. issue, and buy us a drink. We need www.teamsmileandnod.com. Come one after putting out this first edition! hear the lesbian-fronted electro folk duo from Columbus promote their HARRY POTTER NAKED ... ONLY IN NY debut CD, Look Both Ways Before You Equus @ Q Bar, 205 N 5th St, www.q- Die. Doors 9p, TSaN at 10p. $10. nation.com, 614.222.2401. Olympic Theatre Company, Columbus’newest DEMOCRATS SEEM TO LIKE THE GRAPE Grape Expectations @ Havana, 862 bar-based performance ensemble, presents Michael’s favorite short play N High St, 614.421.9697, about psychodrama, societal mores, www.columbusnightlife.com. Join nudity, violence, and horses. 7p May Stonewall Democrats of Central Ohio as they toast their biggest fundraiser 1, 2, 8, and 9. $40 for 4 tix, $50 for of the year. 5:30-whenever the bottles table. run dry. Tickets from $25. BASKET WEAVING WED, MAY 6 Woven Branches Day of Prayer Breakfast @ Dayton Women’s Club, TRANSFORMATION OR TRANSCEDENCE? WHY NOT BOTH? 225 N Ludlow St, Dayton, www.woTransformations by Choice @ Waves venbranches.org. The Day of Prayer of Wisdom, 6797 N High St, Rm 305, breakfast is presented as a positive 614.323.7794, www.wavesofwisresponse to the religious right’s National Day of Prayer. All are welcome. dom.org. Explore transcendence and practice the tools of mystical altered 7-9a, $20. states of consciousness, then blend in science and experience what hapSAT, MAY 2 pens! Classes on Wednesdays May 6, THEY SPIT, NOT SWALLOW Buckeye Alpaca Show @ Bricker 20, Jun 3, 17, Jul 1 & 15. $7:30p, $60 Building, Ohio Expo Center & State each session. Fair, www.ohioexpocenter.com. See beautiful alpacas at this familyFRI, MAY 8 friendly event, including demonstra- THERE’S ALSO AN N IN PENIS tions, silent auction, and stuff made 3 in 30 @ MadLab, 105 N Grant Ave, from alpaca parts. This show benefits 614.221.5418, www.madlab.net. the International Camelid Institute MadLab presents 3 original 10and the OSU Vet school. 8a-5p, free. minute plays based on the common theme of May(be). Clever, eh? 10:30p, ANOTHER DRAG NAME NOW HIJACKED $5. Through May 9. Cinco D’Ohio @ North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, www.north- NATURAL REDHEAD Rachel Sage @ Havana, 862 N High market.com. Celebrate the array of culinary commodities available from St, 614.421.9697, www.columbusnightlife.com. Self-taught pianist, Ohio growers with eating, dancing, taco taste-offs, and beer! 8a-5p, free. poet and producer Rachel Sage hits the Havana stage in support of her I WANT CHARMIN IN MY BATHROOM eighth solo album Chandelier. 8p, Fresh Queens of Belaire @ Wall free. Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnight- DANCE TO HEAL Dance Compassion Project 2009 @ club.com. Not a typical drag show, BalletMet, 322 Mt Vernon Ave, come see this sequel to 2 Queens 1 949.246.6092. Join the Ohio AIDS Cup and what we here is the swanCoalition and over 30 local music and song performance of Backspace in dance professionals as they celebrate Columbus! Doors 8p, show 9p. $5. life and raise money for a weekend retreat for newly-diagnosed HIV+ paALWAYS A BRIDEN, NEVER A BRIDE Briden’s First Art Show @ Kafe Ker- tients at the OAC Healing Weekend. ouac, 2250 N High St, 614.299.2672. 8p May 8 and 2p May 10. Tickets vary, Come to the opening, meet Briden, call for details. and help him pay off the bills from his SAT, MAY 9 recent surgery - his insurance says it’s “cosmetic” - we know it’s transfor- LOAVES, NO FISHES mational! Opening night 7p-1a, show Cabaret to benefit BREAD @ North Congregational UCC, 2040 W Henderruns at the Kafe through May 31. son Rd, 614.451.1835. Come enjoy music and fellowship, and raise money and awareness for BREAD -

• • • • • • • • • outlook’s sponsored events • • • • • • • • •

nina west

starring in

Vengeance is a Dish Best Served Tucked and Rolls

photography by robert trautman

• • • • • Stylings Auto by Rolls Royce = $150, 000 Shades by Chane l= $550 Lip Cover by Lip Smacker s = $2.99 Drag Queen by Andrew = 50¢

may 2009

US/Eastern Time Zone

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:30 PM Strippers @ Pyramid 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Absolut SIN @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

Sunday

Bars-Clubs

Networking

Arts-Events

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

Monday

May 2009

4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:30 PM Club

4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:00 PM 8:30 PM Club

4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 6:00 PM Network Columbus 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

Wednesday

4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

Thursday

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… Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O! @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

… Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O! @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

… Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O! @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

… Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O! @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

… Flirtinis @ U 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O! @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

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Friday, May 1st Rise! DJ Jeremy James @ Axis

7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q

8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q

Friday

For more happenings or to submit an event log on to www.outlookcolumbus.com. It’s fun!

Tues Night Jams @ James

Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Cheap Date Night @ Slam"

Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam"

Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam"

Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam"

Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam"

Tuesday

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outlookcolumbus.com

Saturday, May 2nd Solar Power DJ Power Infinity Hostess Bianca Bouvier @ Axis

“T - Tra wo Wig s ut & Th e U p ! ” Pa n t ie

“Seductive like cheese.” - Patricia Taylor