2013-08-01 outlook columbus by Outlook Media, Inc

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the youth issue • august 2013 / vol 18 • issue 3 inside: gay republican tim brown / challah food truck / the other side / a letter to the millennials / you will rise / trans kids and miami u / paper art / steve grand / bookmark / daily drink specials

outlook magazine • outlookcolumbus.com

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august 2013

Ahh man, who left the electricity out of the fridge to spoil again?

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OWNER & PUBLISHER Christopher Hayes

you are here

I didn’t get bullied in school. One time in sixth grade, a new boy decided that the chubby kid with the unibrow had to be the class target.

LGBT kids report being bullied in school, how they’re three times more likely to drop out and two to four times more likely to commit suicide.

He learned quickly I was not.

Pete writes on Page 16 about You Will Rise, an effort started right here in Columbus that gives young people around the world a creative outlet to share their pain from bullying through art and poetry.

As we put together this issue of outlook, which looks at the issues and attitudes of LGBT youth, writer Pete Lovering and I realized that we have something akin to survivor’s guilt for not having endured the trials that forged so many people in our community. Those stories are painful but important. But we wanted this issue to be more than the statistics we already know too well: how 65 percent of

those born from the ’80s on - that has caused a marked shift in American attitudes over the last decade. A recent Pew poll found big majorities of Americans now feel homosexuality should be accepted by society and say they would not be upset if a child of their own came out. I grew up in a generation that didn’t get why baseball or buses or schools or drinking fountains had once been categorized as white or black, but we didn’t question for a long time why the military and marriage were reserved only for straight people.

We also wanted to show how the generation we worry so much about is changing our nation and world for the better before it even gets the keys to our collective future.

Chris Nyrati sees the new generation’s embrace of LGBT equality every day in her daughter, Gracie

According to the Pew Research Center, it’s the attitudes of Millennials -

the divine life

feature: millennials

local celebrity bloggers

feature: you will rise

interview: steve grand bookmark: bernard martin

puzzling

vol 18 • #3

polisigh

out & about

i ♥ the nightlife

small pond

feature: trans kids

savage love

Michelle

Chris

Helen

Erin

Emma

Brent

MANAGING EDITOR Erin McCalla / emccalla@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Debé, Thomas Fletcher, Nicole George, Pete

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS / DESIGNERS Chris Hayes, Robby Stephens, Gracie Umana

creative class

qmunity

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bob Vitale / bvitale@outlookmedia.com

ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes / hayes@outlookmedia.com

ADVERTISING DEADLINES Reservations by the 15th of each month. Art in by the 20th.

Bob Vitale, Editor-in-Chief

the other side

14 16

NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863

I invite all of you to do the same.

snapshot

SALES Chad Frye / cfrye@outlookmedia.com Alexis Perrone / aperrone@outlookmedia.com Logan Fisher / lfisher@outlookmedia.com

Lovering, Erin McCalla, Chris Nyrati, Tera Proby, Romeo San Vicente, Dan Savage, Gregg Shapiro, Robby Stephens, D.A. Steward, Bob Vitale

you are here

outlook’s staff and intern army

As we focus on LGBT and allied youth, we also want to give them a platform to make their own voices heard. During August, central Ohio high school and college students will be our weekly guest bloggers at outlookcolumbus.com. They’ll share their experiences and perspectives on issues we face as a community.

the youth issue:

Bob

Umana, who has spent her summer with us as a photo intern. Chris’s touching thank-you to Gracie and her generation is on Page 14.

HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Bsmt Ste G, Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525phone / 614.261.8200 fax

CYBERSPACE http://www.outlookcolumbus.com http://www.outlookmedia.com http://www.networkcolumbus.com http://twitter.com/outlookcolumbus http://facebook.com/outlookcolumbus outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue of outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted.

Brandon

Pete

Erin

Tera

The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2013 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

puzzling solution - puzzle on pg 32

Chad

Alexis

Logan

Catie

Ian

Maryam

Josiah

Traut

Andrew

Robby

Jija

Maddie

Sarah

Gracie

dAILy ConTEnT: outlookcolumbus.com • nEXT MonTH: arts outlookcolumbus.com

outlook is always looking for new interns. Check our postings on columbusinternships.com

august 2013

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by Robby Stephens, Social Tsar

August Schmaugust! Summer 2013 has been an amazing sea- My friend Devon Palmer also brought to son of travel. Pensacola in June and Los my attention that we only have one drivein movie theater in Franklin County. I Angeles in July! haven’t been to a drive-in movie in FOREVER! Make sure to grab a group of What’s the most awe-inspiring place you’ve visited? My best friend, Sam, and I friends and hit the South Drive-in in Autraveled to West Hollywood in July. If you gust. It’s at 3050 S High St on Columbus’s South Side. haven’t been, you must go! West Hollywood is home to the No. 1 gay bar in the We’d like to give a shout out to the world, The Abbey, and you’ve also got to stop for cocktails at Micky’s. Overall I love Columbus Lesbian & Gay Softball Association for a successful fundraiser in July WeHo, but there’s no place like home. as members begin preparations for the 2015 Gay Softball World Series. Best of So what’s on the agenda for August? I plan to kick off the month at Pride Night luck to all the teams as they wrap up their regular softball season in August! with the Clippers, sponsored by outlook Games take place every Sunday at Tuttle and Stonewall Columbus. It’s Aug 1 Park near OSU. game time is 7:05p - as the Columbus Clippers take on the Buffalo Bison. It’s a fun night of baseball and a great way to Here are my favorite things for August: kick off the final month of summer! Favorite Song: “Treasure” by Bruno Mars. He brings a mix of the Jackson Five and Did you know that Columbus was celeJustin Timberlake in this fun and upbeat brated by national publications last month as a “fashion hub?” On Aug 2, join song! Fashion Rocks Columbus for the second annual outdoor fashion show and concert Favorite place to Dine: Philco Bar & Diner, at 747 N High St in the Short North, has at Bicentennial Park. transformed the former Phillip’s Coney Island into a fabulous new diner with a Here’s a snapshot of other great events great menu and awesome service. going on in August: Latrice Royale, a favorite from RuPaul's Drag Race Season 4, returns Aug 3 to Axis. On Aug 7, enjoy a glass of wine at Camelot Cellars Winery poured by 10TV News reporter Danielle Elias, who will be raising money for Pelotonia’s effort to fight cancer. Another spot for great entertainment is Monday Night Live, hosted at the Wild Goose Tavern as they continue with their sketch comedy series on Aug 12. What’s on the weekly calendar? Wednesday is always a blast when you spend your night with Virginia West as she hosts her weekly show at Union. Start your Thursdays off with Family Feud & Game Show Night hosted by Brent Fabian at the Barracks at AWOL. End your Thursday by dancing the night away at Ladies ’80s at Skully’s Music-Diner.

Network Columbus July 10, 2013 @ Wall Street

Favorite event in Cbus: Columbus Summer Beerfest 2013 is Aug 16-17 at the LC Pavilion. Come out and celebrate our local breweries! Favorite place to shop: There’s no better place to get a great deal on last-minute summer buys than H&M. Great prices and great sales! Also, get a sneak peak at the trends for fall.

Doo Dah Parade July 4, 2013

This month’s special mention: Emily Toney, special events manager for AIDS Resource Center Ohio, plays a key role in events such as the AIDS Walk and Art For Life. She’s now hitting the pavement to recruit volunteers, donors, attendees and sponsors for the Red gala, scheduled for Sept 7. Visit redcolumbus.com for more info! Thank you to my readers for all the great tips and suggestions on events happening in our community. Make sure to keep us up-to-date on your events and send your photos to social@outlookmedia.com. Follow me on Twitter @StephensRobby. Until next time! Fondly,

4 august 2013

I think Robby looks like a mermaid in that picture. Maybe they should be team Splash!

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The one thing that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a gamble at Hollywood: the steaks at Final Cut! Yum!

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qmunity track and field. Bands, choirs, dancers and cheer teams also can compete. Organizers emphasize that participants don’t have to be top-level athletes, and they don’t have to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, either. Opening ceremonies will take place at Cleveland’s Quicken Loans Arena, and competitions will take place at universities and other facilities in Cleveland and Akron.

Let the Games Begin… Next Year

event, scheduled from Aug 9-16, 2014.

by Bob Vitale The countdown has begun for the 2014 Gay Games, which begin a year from this month in Cleveland and Akron.

The Gay Games - described as the biggest sports and cultural festival in the world for LGBT people - take place every four years and have rotated among cities such as San Francisco, New York, Amsterdam and Cologne.

More than 30,000 people from more than 70 countries are expected in northeastern Ohio for the two-week

About 40 individual and team competitions are planned in everything from darts and billiards to basketball and

“This is a huge event for Cleveland and Ohio,” said marketing coordinator Matt Cordish. “This is going to open up new perceptions of the gay community within Ohio and the Midwest.” The official countdown will begin Friday, Aug 9 with Gay Games Night at a Cleveland Indians game. Tickets are $50 (a portion goes to the games’ host committee) and include two beer tickets, a three-inning buffet, a mixer

and post-game fireworks. You can order tickets through the Gay Games website, www.gg9cle.com, or by visiting tinyurl.com/b7x8hft and using the special-offer code GG9. Other things you should know: Competing: outlook readers who plan to compete in the games can get $30 off registration through Sept 1 by typing the code NETCOLS on the games website. There are also links at the website to special hotel rates throughout the region. Volunteering: Organizers need 3,500 volunteers to help before and during the Gay Games. Visit the website to register as a volunteer for the week of the games; email Ann Gynn (agynn@gg9cle.com) to help before the event. Sponsoring: If you’re interested in becoming a corporate or small-business sponsor, contact Mary Zaller (mzaller@gg9cle.com) for information.

Cincinnati Couple Wins Recognition for Marriage Ohio is on the front lines again in the fight for marriage equality after a federal judge ordered the state on July 22 to recognize the marriage of a terminally ill gay man in Cincinnati. Gov. John Kasich and Attorney General Mike DeWine, both Republicans who oppose marriage rights for LGBT people, had a lawyer in court to fight the request of John Arthur, who is dying of ALS and sued to force the Ohio Department of Health to list his husband as his surviving spouse on his eventual death certificate. Arthur and James Obergefell flew to Baltimore on July 11 on a medically equipped private plane and were married on an airport tarmac. Maryland is one of 13 states that have recognized the rights of same-sex couples to marry; Ohio is one of 37 states that do not.

august 2013

Citing the June 26 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that struck down parts of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, U.S. District Magistrate Timothy Black granted a temporary restraining order prohibiting Ohio from issuing a death certificate for Arthur that does not list him as being married. “We want nothing more than for our marriage to count in the place we call home,” Obergefell said. “When (Arthur) dies, his death certificate should reflect our marriage just like the records of all the other married couples in Ohio.” Said Ian James, cofounder of Freedom Ohio, the group working to put a marriage-equality measure on the statewide ballot in 2014: “Judge Black’s ruling is historic. … At this time, in John’s dying days, he and his husband Jim deserve to be treated in the same manner as any other married couple, with respect and dignity.”

England, Wales Extend Marriage LGBT couples in England and Wales will be able to marry next spring after the House of Lords and Queen Elizabeth II signed off on marriage equality. The new law enables gay couples to get married in civil ceremonies but gives religious institutions the right to refuse to perform weddings. The Church of England is barred from performing weddings.

It also allows couples who previously had entered into civil partnerships to convert their unions to marriage. Within the United Kingdom, the legislation applies only in England and Wales. Scotland’s parliament will vote on marriage equality later this year; lawmakers in Northern Ireland already have rejected a bill. - LGBTQ Nation

Republican Ex-Official Backs 2014 Initiative Ohio’s 2004 constitutional amendment that keeps same-sex couples from getting married sealed the deal for Corbin Petro, according to her dad. The 34-year-old graduate of Yale and the University of Pennsylvania chose to build her career and start her family in Massachusetts instead of her home state. She and her wife, who married last year, are expecting their first child this fall. “I think that my daughter was not about to come back to Ohio after that - and she loved Ohio,” said Jim Petro, the state’s former auditor, attorney general and chancellor of higher education. Petro signed on in July as a backer of Freedom Ohio’s effort to replace the 2004 ban with a marriage-equality amendment in 2014. He said Ohio’s embrace of inequality sends a bad message to the world and harms its economic future. The highest-profile Republican to support the campaign - Petro lost a bid for his party’s gubernatorial nomination in 2006 - said it’s an issue more GOP voters should embrace. “Republicans should be for freedom. They should be for equality. They should be supportive of the notion of commitment,” he said.

ENDA Sponsors Seek Portman’s Support Ohio’s Rob Portman was the first Republican in the U.S. Senate to support marriage equality, but he has yet to support the right of LGBT Americans to hold a job. Members of Get Equal Ohio gathered outside Columbus’s Downtown federal building in July to call on Portman to get behind legislation that would ban job discrimination based on people’s sexual orientation or gender identity. “It’s hard for me to understand how

someone could be for partial equality,” said Tom Morgan, Get Equal’s lead organizer in Ohio. The group gave Portman its Father of the Year award after the senator announced in March that his gay son helped change his mind on marriage equality. Portman’s office was unresponsive to outlook’s request for comment, but he told the Washington newspaper Roll Call in July that “I’m interested in getting something done.”

That runner must also be a weightlifter. See he’s wearing a barbell.

“I’m adamantly opposed to discrimination in the workplace against people who are gay,” he said. “So I have no philosophical concerns with this legislation at all.” Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown, a Democrat, is an ENDA cosponsor, and Democratic Reps. Joyce Beatty of Columbus, Marcia Fudge of Cleveland, Marcy Kaptur of Toledo and Tim Ryan of Niles are cosponsors of the House version of the bill.

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Finally, an ad that correctly uses periods for emphasis and wit.

august 2013

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polisigh

Tim Brown: The Ohio House’s Gay Republican Brown has long balanced politics and the personal.

by Bob Vitale If being a gay man in the Republican Party sounds like hell, well, being a Republican in the LGBT community is no day at Fire Island, either. That might be part of the reason just two of 7,383 lawmakers elected to serve in statehouses across the country are that living, legislating oxymoron known the Gay Republican. State Rep. Tim Brown, elected to his first term last fall from a northwestern Ohio district that includes Bowling Green, makes up half that national caucus and navigates both camps with a smile - and an admonition. He describes House Speaker William Batchelder, who campaigned in 2012 with anti-gay GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum, as “extremely accepting and welcoming,” but he readily admits: “I want to see my party change.” And he has attended several LGBT community events since serving in Columbus, but he says the LGBT community needs to work a little on open-mindedness, too. “There are differences within the gay community. The gay community tends to be a little bit slow at respecting diversity within its own family.”

august 2013

On being gay, he said: “It’s how I’m wired. ... It’s part of who I am.”

Brown was considering a run for Congress at the time and said he decided “not to run from that or hide from it” if the subject of his sexual orientation came up. When an anonymous comment on a political blog brought calls from newspaper reporters, he came out publicly.

And he’s been a Republican almost as long. Born on an Air Force base in Nebraska, Brown grew up south of Dayton in Miamisburg. He had a Richard Nixon poster as a child. He watched presidential press conferences and state of the union speeches. He read history books. “I can out-nerd you,” he said with a laugh. Like many in his age group, though, he was drawn into the conservative ideology and the Republican Party by Ronald Reagan, who campaigned at many colleges during his 1984 reelection campaign. Brown, now 50, was a student then at Bowling Green State University and got the chance to meet the president during a stop on campus. A photo is on his desk today in the Riffe Building. Before his election to the Ohio House, Brown served 15 years as a Wood County commissioner. He said he had long been out to family, friends and party leaders, but he refers to 2007 blog posts and newspaper stories in Bowling Green and Toledo as his “outing.”

“I’ll be honest with you, I was scared to death about what this was going to mean for me,” he said. He didn’t enter that congressional race, citing the cost and an overcrowded field, and he didn’t face re-election as a county commissioner until 2010. In conservative Wood County - “even the gay people there are Republican,” a Toledo Blade columnist joked - Brown won 60 percent of the vote in a three-way race. “I was nervous up until the votes started coming in. Were people being nice to me and then they’d do something behind my back? But that was very gratifying. The voters chose someone not based on their sexual orientation but on the job they had done.” He won his legislative race last fall with just 51 percent of the vote, although he points out that Democrats on the ballot, President Obama and U.S. Sen. Sherrod Brown, carried his district. In the Ohio House, Brown is a reliable Republican vote on most issues. He voted for the two-

Tim Brown is so cool - he even came to our Big Gay Dance Party!

year state budget and received endorsements from the National Rifle Association, Ohio Right to Life and the Ohio Chamber of Commerce. But he also is a cosponsor of the Equal Housing and Employment Act, a bill that would ban discrimination against LGBT Ohioans. Brown supports marriage equality and was elected to the legislature with an endorsement - and a $500 donation - from the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund, a national group that backs LGBT candidates. “It is refreshing to have Representative Brown in the House,” said Elyzabeth Holford, executive director of Equality Ohio. “He represents his district well, and he has been very supportive.” Like former Ohio Attorney General Jim Petro, who endorsed a potential 2014 ballot measure on marriage equality, Brown argues that his fellow Republicans should embrace the issue as a matter of freedom and economics. Based on that position alone, he has been invited more than once to change teams - politically, that is. But he’s not budging in that part of his life, either. “[Democrats] would be as angry with me on some issues as Republicans are,” he said. outlookcolumbus.com

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forming payroll • AA in Accounting preferred OFFICE MANAGER • Strong oral and written comNON-EXEMPT munication skills PART-TIME TO FULL-TIME • Excellent interpersonal skills and the ability to work well with PRIMARY FUNCTION: Perform all types of people. contracted bookkeeping services • Ability to establish and mainand manage the office tain effective working relationships with leadership, staff, Process payroll: clients, and others. • Enter new employees • Tax preparation experience • Enroll and process direct de- preferred posit • Valid driver’s license and in• Draft, schedule and pay pay- surable driving record roll and payroll tax liabilities • File quarterly and annual RELATIONSHIPS: payroll reports Internal: Maintain oral and • Print W-2s written contact with Owner, • Track new hires and termina- suite-mates and other staff for tions purpose of exchange of informa• Manage customer questions tion and to coordinate activities. and concerns External: Maintain oral and Bookkeeping for clients: written contact with clients for • Accounts receivable the purpose of coordinating in• Accounts payable voicing and receiving payment, • Bank and credit card account exchanging information and reconciliations ideas. POSITION OPENING AT BBI

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Check out Reed Arts’s new space in the Grandview Yard area!

august 2013

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small pond

Labor of Love Truck Takes Jewish Comfort Food Down a New Road

by Tera Proby Jewish soul food. Never tried it? Now you can. It’s what Shoshanna Gross calls the food she was raised on. And the love of Jewish comfort food is the inspiration behind the Challah food truck, which opened June 30. You might have seen Gross and fiancée Catie Randazzo parked outside your office on a busy workday. Their truck, hand-painted by Andrew Kern, isn’t one to miss. But the outside of the tuck isn’t what keeps people coming back for more. The couple smoke their own whitefish and prepare their own corned beef. They make their own dill pickles, grate potatoes by hand for latkes, and turn traditional non-traditional with noshes like smoked coleslaw and fried pickles. “We are changing the face of food trucks by cooking in this kind of way,” Gross said. “We are making this kind of food accessible to people who otherwise wouldn’t try it.” While Gross’s roots inspired Challah’s menu, both women share a love of food. Randazzo, a Columbus native, worked as a chef in New York at the Brooklyn restaurant Allswell. Originally the couple wanted to do international sandwiches. But after realizing there was a market for the food that provided them the most comfort, they decided to bring their talents to Columbus. They moved here to open the truck. They looked into New York, where the couple met, and Massachusetts, where Gross grew up, but both have food-truck scenes that are difficult to break into and dominated by corporate players. After discovering that Columbus food trucks operated much the same way they wanted to operate - independently - they decided to leave New York and find a home here. Randazzo speaks of her favorite recipes as if they are her children. While they’re all dear to her heart, she loves each one for different reasons. Her most exciting recipe is the corned beef.

august 2013

I ain’t no “Hollaback Girl,” but I will be back to Challah!

“I love the corned beef with smoked coleslaw and spicy brown mustard. [The corned beef] takes a week to prepare. It’s basically a labor of love,” she said. Gross works as the frontwoman for the business. She was an arts administrator in New York and has expertise in management, marketing and fundraising. Among other rounds, Gross and Randazzo plan to park Challah outside Wall Street Nightclub for its monthly First Friday lesbian dance parties. Although their food isn’t kosher, they’re also making the rounds of local synagogues. When they’re not catering to the midday business crowds or college students or other communities, they’re collaborating with Temple Israel and Temple Beth Shalom, Reform Jewish congregations on the East Side and in New Albany, respectively. “We will be parking outside of the synagogue on their religious school opening day, along with other school days,” Gross said. Reform Judaism is a welcoming religion for LGBT people. The religion accepts gay members and rabbis. It has endorsed gay unions - first commitment ceremonies, now marriages - since the 1990s. Still, Gross said, Jewish food to her is more cultural than religious. “For me, this food is tradition,” she said. The couple’s plans aren’t limited to their truck. As the business grows they plan on expanding with it. Their hope is to create a food and education resource center that includes cooking classes, urban gardening and job training for young people. Both women say their work is deeper than making a profit. “There’s a lot of love that goes into every single item that comes out of that truck,” Randazzo said. “There’s a lot of integrity that goes into every sandwich.”

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“Dammit Johnny! You know I love my Big Beef & Cheddar!”

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the other side by D.A. Steward

A Letter to My 15-Year-Old Self Dear Dwayne, age 15,

you’ll take that message to youth in small towns across the Midwest.

I know it’s been pretty rough. You’ve just ended your first year of high school, and you already don’t want to go back. You’ve been called “sissy” and “fag boy” repeatedly, been thrown up against lockers, and even in gym class one day you found your change of clothes in a pool of urine at the bottom of your locker. A group of guys on the football team stood behind you, laughing yelling, “Look at the faggot cry!,” as you choked back tears. I know tears and anger have blinded you from seeing the light at the end of your tunnel, but I want you to know there will be light. It will get better. You will meet teachers who are going to advocate for you. They’re going to see your struggles and notice your talents and push you to succeed.

After living your dream of being a full-time journalist for a little while, you’ll become an HIV/AIDS activist and work with youth to help build their self esteem. You’re going to teach them how to make healthy choices. You’re going to meet a lot of amazing people, and you’ll work with them to better the lives of LGBT people around Ohio. One day, you’re going to realize you’re openly gay in every aspect of your life. You’ll go to work and help make LGBT people healthier. You’ll write for an LGBT magazine and report LGBT news and entertainment on the radio. You’ll walk out of a restaurant holding hands with a boy without fear of judgment. It may not seem like it now, but one day you’ll look at your life and wonder how you could be so lucky.

You’re going to meet a group of girls - Ashlee, Susie, Krissy, Heather, just to name a few - who will change your life. (Don’t worry, they already know and they’re cool with it.) They’re going to be your saving grace. Their friendship will wrap itself around you like a shield of unconditional love that will protect you from any thoughts of self-harm. You’re going to be in their weddings, and their children will call you uncle. As you look around your world now you may not see the support I’m describing. You’re going to a church that preaches being gay is a sin. You’ve begun to believe that this is true, and you’re starting to think God doesn’t love you. God does love you, and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re going to find a church that accepts you for all you are. God isn’t finished with you yet. You will come out to your friends, and they will love you just the same. Some of your family will be resistant, but most will come around. Remember, you’ve known for some time, and they are just finding out. Just give them time. Don’t let the negatives mentioned in this letter overwhelm you. You’re going to be just fine. Somehow you’ll luck out and end up at one of the most gay-friendly universities in the country. You’ll help start an organization for LGBT students of color and begin paving the way for others to feel safe and accepted.

You’re going to fall in love. You’re going to have your heart broken. You’re going to want children and you’re going to live in a world where gay people have kids and live in houses with white picket fences and dogs and fancy grills just like everyone else. Don’t completely forget the words of your gym teacher. You will need a thick skin. High school is not going to be easy. There will be dark times, but always remember your friends, your teachers, your cousins and siblings who support you. Always reply to dissenters with a spirit of education. You’ll be entering a white and straight world as a liberated black gay man. They are not ready us, so we must educate them. No, it is not fair. This is where that thick skin will come in handy. Don’t let the bullying you’re experiencing in high school get to you. I know you’ve thought things would be easier if you weren’t around. There’s an amazing life out there waiting for you. I’ve seen it. Not only does your life get so much better, but you also become one of the lucky ones. You’ll make it better for others. Never forget to love yourself and always live courageously. Yours truly, Dwayne Steward, age 28

You’ll end up being published in a New York Times best-selling book that will tell high school kids it gets better, and

august 2013

Correspondence with yourself is important.

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Is that a glow stick in your pocket or are you an alien? Whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Katy Perry when you need her?

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feature

Thanks to a New Generation An Open Letter From a Lesbian BabyBoomer to My Millennial Ally Daughter

My daughter has become my archetype of millennial LGBTQA guts and courage. From my heart to hers, for all to read:

that our rights are the biggest human rights issue of your time. You say that LGBTQ people deserve dignity and the same privileges as everyone else, and you mean it.

by Chris Nyrati My Daughter, I was invited to tell my coming-out story to a group of LGBTQA youth on National Coming Out Day. I was eager to raise awareness of the LGBT civil rights movement, and to stir pride in a new generation for the sufferings and triumphs of their foremothers and forefathers. I expected to deliver comfort about how much “It Gets Better” and teach about obligations of legacies. In my fervor I had not prepared for the magical instant of openness and humility that transpired as I told my story. While regarding the presence of the many young people - most stirringly, my ally daughter, who unexpectedly had appeared with her boyfriend - I found myself explaining how so many young people are inspiring me, once and for all, to overcome the last vestiges of my internalized homophobia. This was, I explained, perhaps the most crucial and satisfying part of my coming-out story. The great anthropologist Margaret Mead believed that the integrity of whole societies rests on how the youth are allowed to affect the beliefs of their elders. On behalf of my generation, I wish to convey my deep gratitude to LGBTQA youth. You are transforming our world.

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The work of your parents’ generation has been to nurture your natural talents; to foster your dreams; to help master self-discipline, so that you might realize those dreams; to model kindness and tolerance, so that you might see examples of responsibility for your brothers and sisters, everywhere. You have gracefully grown up the daughter of lesbians in a time of intolerance toward LGBT families. You embrace and take joy in our family, and you work to defend our rights. While we have provided a sanctuary of unconditional family love and safety while you do this, we take only partial credit for your poise and commitment. For you are embedded in a generation with whom you have been creating a new civil rights movement. My heart is overwhelmed by the outpouring of kindness, tolerance and sheer hard work from your generation on behalf of the LGBTQA community. In awe of this activism, I have asked you and other millennials whether this is out of obligation toward those you love. The response is always

Your generation has quieted the bullies that hurt your LGBTQA classmates, has annihilated homophobia where teachers and parents have not, and has created safe spaces for questioning friends. You and your peers find it unbelievable that my generation ever had to hide our love. You are indignant when you hear stories about my lesbian girlhood friend who got pregnant so her mother, knowing that she would have had to have slept with a boy, would again love her; about the mentors who lost their jobs; the children taken from mothers and fathers. This, you say, will stop, because it is intolerable to you. You, like others, have defended the rights of your own families - like the time you confiscated the neighborhood Issue 1 yard signs that promoted Ohio’s ban on gay marriage, or when you would accept only one plate of cookies from the church evangelists because we are one family. You were not surprised, as were your moms, when we were recruited as a couple to the same university. You and others your age have stood up when we did not.

you and your generation have helped me to understand that I have held a little in reserve, never quite believing that I must have what I deserve. You have brought me a perspective that I would not have without you. Because of you, I believe I can claim what rightfully is mine. Because of your words and actions, I am more aware, more proud, and so much less afraid. It delights me now to thank you and your peers, for how you are powerfully transforming our lives. And so, I send you this letter of thanks. Perhaps, had I guts like you in my youth, my own loving lesbian and gay mentors would have heard me tell them, as you have unabashedly told me, that they have the right to live in open peace with their love. I will continue to pass our stories on to your generation of LGBTQA youth so that you can appreciate our civil rights struggle. While doing so, I believe I will remain pleasantly surprised that you do not merely stand in awe of the generations before you. You have done, and continue to do so much more for us. With My Deepest and Heartfelt Gratitude, Your Mama Chris

I used to think I was a loud and out lesbian. But

I’m on the right track baby, I was born this way...

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Alexis drinks a bottle of olive oil from Green Olive once a week.

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FUC by K

rising ABoVE

EVERYDAY RACISM/BULLYING, by David Schreiber

Bullying Victims ExprEss thEmsElVEs With Art by Pete Lovering One month after it went online in 2011 as a place for victims of bullying to express their feelings, the You Will Rise Project received a submission from a teenage girl in the UK. Morven Fik created a mask, oversized and subsuming the entire body of the figure behind it. The mask was covered with words of hate: queer, weirdo, poof, fat, fugly and more. She submitted another piece last December, in the form of a letter to founders Paul Richmond and Linda Regula. Fik is now studying mental health nursing and plans to specialize in art therapy. “Having people compliment my work,” she said, “being able to see other people’s work on the same subject, it brightened my mood.” For the past two years, the You Will Rise Project has offered victims of bullying an outlet through art. Regula and Richmond based its name on the iconography of a phoenix; a bird that emerges from the ashes of its predecessor more beautiful and more powerful than ever. To them, it was the perfect metaphor for overcoming bullying, but the phoenix also had a storied history for one of the project’s founders. When Regula was a fifth-grader in West Virginia, her teacher explained to the class the phoenix’s mythology and assigned everyone an art project about it. Regula, who didn’t have much interest in art, found the phoenix inspiring and drew a picture that was chosen as the best in the class. She was proud, but her glory was short-lived. The teacher

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left the classroom for a moment, and a bully snatched her drawing from the board and ripped it into pieces in front of everyone. “He told me I’d never be an artist because I was too stupid.” Regula was bullied for most of her young life. It wasn’t until she moved that she found a way to channel her experience into something positive. She disproved the bully’s claims years later, establishing herself as a visual artist, novelist and art instructor.

youth, particularly those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Since the two of them had been bullied - and had found refuge in art - they decided to create a website to showcase artwork from people who were in the midst of bullying as a way of providing them with an audience and a support system. You Will Rise receives multiple submissions every day more than 700 since April 2011 - and their goal is to allow each post its own day to be featured.

One day she was asked to mentor a 4-year-old boy named Paul who had shown a knack for drawing.

“Each person has their time,” Richmond said. “That way they can feel a little more empowered by it.”

“Neither of my parents had any kind of artistic background,” Richmond said about how he and Regula met. “One of their neighbors was a student of Linda’s and recommended her.”

The diversity of the work has been a refreshing surprise for the founders. Many submissions come from beginners, including young children, as well as from established professionals. From the beginning, the team was adamant about preserving the work as it was received.

They ended up working together once a week until Richmond finished high school and headed for the Columbus College of Art & Design. She taught him how to express himself through his art, how to tell stories and how to channel the pain of bullying into something positive.

“It’s not censored, we don’t edit anything, even grammatical issues,” Richmond said. “Some of them can be very intense.”

“Her paintings were huge and vibrant, it was like walking into Oz.”

Bullying can happen at home or at school, or both, and each case is unique. Some of the time, bullies themselves have been victimized and opt to use their feelings of hate or frustration and project it on others. Part of the You Will Rise Project’s goal is to create an avenue for expression that prevents kids from continuing that cycle.

Richmond graduated from CCAD in 2002 and currently resides in Columbus. He and Regula have remained close, and their ongoing relationship and artistic partnership eventually yielded the You Will Rise Project, which they founded in response to the suicide epidemic among bullied

“A bully wants you to feel silenced,” Richmond said. “If they can get into your head and make you think that nobody wants to hear what you have to say, then they’ve won. The website is about building a community for people so they know they’re not alone.”

Richmond, who was relentlessly picked on for being gay, drew inspiration from Regula’s approach to art.

Paul Richmond rocks.

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TIER BULLY, by Frank Miscione

LIVING HELL by Kayla Shay Sinking down, to the depths of the sea, Why did you have to pick on me? My heart, my soul, sinking down, My lungs fill with water, I begin to drown,

FUCK LABELS, by Katie Irvine

But this water is not water, not liquid pure and clear, It's blood as red as rose, my lungs are filled with fear, these depths are dark and black as night, I see a man, I get a fright, This man, he wears a long, dark cloak, Hood hiding his face, I continue to choke, He pulls back his hood, revealing his face he is Satan himself, And in his hands, he holds a jar that he placed upon a shelf, I stare at the bloodied mess, that I realise is my heart, And wall paintings made from my blood, that are mistook for art, As the Devil turns around again, his face has changed a lot, For now he bears your face, and I feel my blood flow stop,

d wlying port

I sit upright in my bed, awoken from this dream, But is this just a dream? I think not. it makes me want to scream, Look what you have done to me, you've made my life hell, What you have done to me, makes me want to yell,

low

ay HOMOPHOBIA, by Anna Berger

e for inofesout

You Will Rise

atiy in-

To see the artwork featured by the You Will Rise Project, to submit a piece or make a donation, please visit their website at youwillriseproject.blogspot.com.

ves ate Will on

The walls of this hospital, ever so white, Is the opposite of my dark and scary, terrifying life, The gaping cuts across my wrists, they are all caused by you, It was all the words you said to me, although there was just a few, Stop with your apologies, it's far too late now, The depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, cannot be stopped, I don't know how, Apologies, apologies, it's all too late, You can't take any of it back, I’ve met my fate

EFFECTS OF BULLYING, by Bianca Donikian

f owon. o

I can't escape this war torn life, Not even for a single life, This hell so dark that you created for me, It has send me mad, can't you see?

Words Hurt, by Malika Wolski outlookcolumbus.com

Don’t keep it in. Take Madonna’s advice and express yourself!

august 2013

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7 HOW ROMANTIC… ProMusica Summer Music Series @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E. Broad St, 614.464.0066, www.promusicacolumbus.org: Experience a live orchestra, stroll through the flowers and gaze up at the starlit sky to top it off. 8p; free.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 30 DANCING UNDER THE STARS Rhythm on the River: Balletmet @ Bicentennial Park, 233 Civic Center Dr, www.SciotoMile.com: This starlit evening will showcase delightful dance numbers by the talented dancers of BalletMet. 8p; free.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 23 LOCAL BOY MADE GOOD George Bellows and the American Experience @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E Broad St, 614.221.6801, www.columbusmuseum.org: Columbus native George Bellows played shortstop for the Buckeyes before moving to New York and taking the art world by storm. This exhibit of his works has traveled the globe. During museum hours through Jan 4; $12 for adults, free on Sundays.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 22 MR. DARWIN HAS A FRONT-ROW SEAT Cirque du Soleil’s Totem @ Ohio Expo Center, 717 E 17th Ave, 614.644.3247, www.cirquedusoleil.com: Somewhere between science and legend, Totem explores the ties that bind man to other species, his dreams and his infinite potential. 8p (times vary for shows through Sept 15; $35-$110.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 31 COLUMBIKE Bike the C-Bus @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, 614.645.4798, www.bikethecbus.com: Explore the rich history of neighborhoods in Columbus on this 25-mile ride through such places as King Lincoln, Victorian Village, Short North, Woodland Park and German Village. Don’t worry about falling behind. This isn’t an event for Pelotonia-level riders. 7a; $30.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21 RAW DELICIOUS Raw Desserts @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E. Broad St, 614.715.8022, www.fpconservatory.org: Oh boy! Did you say raw food that tastes delicious? Interested in learning raw, gluten-free and dairy-free diet recipes? You’ve come to the right place. 3:305:30p; $30-35.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 17 A SAUCY LITTLE NUMBER Reynoldsburg Tomato Festival @ Huber Park, 1520 Davidson Dr, Reynoldsburg, 614.866.4888, www.reynoldsburgfestival.org: Declared the birthplace of the commercial tomato by the Franklin County Historical Society, this festival is infused with tomato-related food (tomato fudge, anyone?), live music, games, kids activities and small-town charm. 4-10p (also 10a-10p 8/18); free.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 10 BAILA! Festival Latino @ Genoa Park, Washington Blvd, 614.469.1045, www.festivallatino.net: Festival Latino is Ohio’s largest Latino heritage festival and features not only authentic food and art, but both history and contemporary community. 11a-8p (also 11a-8p 8/11); free.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 18 A POOR TAILOR IS ENTITLED TO SOME HAPPINESS Fiddler on the Roof (1971) @ Ohio Theatre, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Relive one of the most adored movie musicals of all time. 2p; free.

MONDAY, AUGUST 5 THE BEST OFFENSE Dames Bond Networking Event: Self-Defense @ American Institute of Alternative Medicine, 6685 Doubletree Ave, 614.564.9247, www.damesbond.com: AIAM co-founder and owner Helen Yee and others lead a course on selfdefense focusing on non-violence, safety measures and methods to remain calm. 6-8p; free.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2 BBQ KING Canal Winchester Blues & Ribfest @ Downtown Canal Winchester, 10 N High St, 614.270.5053, www.bluesandribsfest.com: If you’re still pining for hot ribs and cool tunes after the Jazz and Rib Fest in Columbus, Canal Winchester has you covered. 5-11p (also Sat 10a-11p); free.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 25 ART ATTACK Urban Scrawl @ 400 W. Rich St, www.franklintonartsdistrict.us: Savor the food, visit local artists, take in the sounds of live music including DJs and breakdancers, and most importantly, watch live creations of murals. noon-6p; free.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 27 YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH WHAT? Ke$ha @ Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, www.promowestlive.com: Since 2005, Ke$ha has not yet failed to bring us the perfect soundtrack to a great party. Get ready to drink and dance all night to her addictive pop beats. 6:30p; $46.85.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28 BREWS, DOGS, LIVE LOCAL! Local Brews and Local Foods @ North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, www.northmarket.com: Grab a cold beer from Columbus Brewing Company and enjoy the music by Elijah Aaron. All tips go to Peace for Paws 4p7p; free.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 15 STAR FOX Fantastic Mr. Fox @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: George Clooney stars as the voice of Mr. Fox, a compulsive kleptomanic who finally provokes nearby human farmers into hunting him and his animal neighbors down. 8p; $8 public, $6 members, seniors, students, $3 children (under 12). SATURDAY, AUGUST 24 SUMMERTIME GLADNESS CD 102.5 presents Summerfest @ LC Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: Celebrate the remaining days of summer with CD 102.5 and a litany of national acts, including headliners Matt and Kim, Cold War Kids, Ra Ra Riot, and Smith Westerns. Keep an eye out for local favorites like Nina West & Friends, DJ Lance and more. All day; $15.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 16 HOT NIGHTS Waterfire Featuring Mojoflo @ Downtown riverfront around Genoa Park & COSI, 614.299.9221, www.waterfirecolumbus.com: After the sun sets, floating bonfires will illuminate the Scioto River. Relax while watching a beautiful light show and listening to live music. Starting at dusk; free.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 3 DANCE MAGIC DANCE! Gallery Hop Dance Party @ Skully’s Music + Diner, 1151 N High St, 614.291.8856, www.skullys.org: Get down and get weird with $2 Absolut and $3 Jameson. 9p; $5, $10 for 18-20.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 3 MY ’90S PLAYLIST New Kids on the Block/Boyz II Men/98 Degrees @ Schottenstein Center, 1.800.ARENA.01, www.schottensteincenter.com: THE original boy band (the Four Seasons don’t count) embarks on its Package Tour for a musical throwback performance you won’t want to miss. 7:30p; $29.50-$89.50

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 14 STAYIN’ ALIVE Saturday Night Fever @ Ohio Theatre, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: CAPA’s Summer Movie Series features John Travolta’s 1979 big-screen debut and chronicles his search and struggle for meaning as a dancer at a local disco palace. 7:30p; $4.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 4 LOCAL LOVE Summer Flea @ Seventh Son Brewing, 1101 N 4th St, www.columbusflea.wordpress.com: Come celebrate International Friendship Day by filling your bags with handmade jewelry, artwork, clothing and more. 11a-5p; free.

MORE MEN IN SKIRTS THAN A NINA WEST SHOW Dublin Irish Festival @ Coffman Park, 800.245.8387 www.dublinirishfestival.org: Don that kilt and make your way to one of the country’s largest Irish festivals. 4pmidnight (also Sat 11a-midnight, Sun 11a-9p); $10 adult, $8 seniors, military personnel and students with valid ID, free for children under 12.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2

SUNDAY, AUGUST 11 FEAST FROM THE EAST Asian Street Food @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.715.8000, www.fpconservatory.org: Travel with chefs along the streets of Columbus in search of quality Asian cuisine and learn how to make favorites such as Vietnamese spring rolls. 6-8p; $30 for members, $35 for non-members.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2 LIGHTS, CAMERA, FASHION! Fashion Rocks Columbus/the Floorwalkers @ Bicentennial Park, www.sciotomile.com: What could be better than live music and runway fashion all in one place? This event showcases the growing culture of fashion in Columbus. 6:30p; free.

out & about

TUESDAY, AUGUST 6 DOTH MOTHER KNOW YOU WEARETH HER DRAPES? Richard III @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: Shakespeare’s greatest villain appears on the silver screen in Laurence Olivier’s 1955 adaptation starring Olivier himself as the Duke of Gloucester. 7p; free.

MONDAY, AUGUST 1. IF THEY DON’T WIN, IT’S A SHAME Pride Night at the Clippers @ Huntington Park, www.outlookcolumbus.com: Join us in our special seating section for a great night of baseball as the Columbus Clippers take on the Buffalo Bison. Pregame drinks at the Left Field Bar (below Roosters) at 5:30p; game starts at 7:05p; $11.

Pride Night @ The Crew Saturday, August 17th

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FRIDAY, AUGUST 2

out & about

Pride Night @ The Crew Saturday, August 17th

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august 2013

Miami University Research on Transgender Children Could Change Attitudes

trans kids

photo: tsunami2311.deviantart.com

feature

by Nicole George Miami University researchers hope a 10-year study with transgender children and their families will help people for generations to come. The TransKids Project is gathering information through continuing interviews and surveys of families with gender-variant children. It’s some of the first available research on a non-clinical sample of families with gender non-conforming children. “The broad aim is to increase awareness and understanding of these families’ experiences raising their children in order to reduce prejudice and discrimination,” said Kate Kuvalanka, an assistant professor of family studies at Miami who performed other research with LGBT families. “We also hope to better inform educators, health care professionals and policymakers as we learn about the challenges our families are facing in their schools, in therapists’ and doctors’ offices, and other community settings.” A majority of parents in the study are striving to affirm and accept their children’s true selves, and Kuvalanka said that will help researchers discover the long-term impact of family support on a child’s well-being. “Research has shown that transgender youth have a high risk of suicide, and we wonder whether the children in our study will have a lower risk due to their supportive families,” she said. Transgender children have gained some under-

standing and acceptance among policymakers lately. In July, California lawmakers approved a bill that gives transgender children the right to choose the restrooms they use and the teams they join at their schools. Massachusetts has similar law in place for its transgender youth. In June, state officials in Colorado overruled a local school district and ruled in favor of a transgender first-grader’s right to use the girls’ restroom in her school. But such victories still come amid setbacks. An Idaho grocery store banned a transgender woman from its premises in April because she used the women’s room. In New Mexico, the organization that regulates high school sports issued a directive in July that requires transgender student-athletes to play on teams based on the gender listed on their birth certificates. Seven Miami University students worked with the TransKids project during the 2012-13 academic year. They said they’ve already felt the impact personally that they hope their research will have on others. Elena Rymer, who joined Kuvalanka in 2011 as the first student to help with the project, said the study has “opened up my mind to a completely different community” and has made her an advocate.

While she knows the research will help transgender children, Rymer said she feels like she has learned so much more from the study’s participants. “I feel like I’m stealing from them,” she said. “We are honored that these families have opened their lives to us, and we look forward to sharing their stories with others,” Rymer said. The study also has created a support network among the participating parents and families. What has been helpful to families is “knowing there are people wanting to know about their kids. They seem really appreciative,” said student researcher Derek Mahan. “It lets them know they’re not alone,” said Caroline Trank, another student researcher. As part of the study, Kuvalanka will track how children persist in their gender variance over the course of the 10-year study. Many professionals dismiss variance as a “phase of strange behavior,” she said, “but when 3- and 4-year-olds insist they have been born in the wrong body, what direction do parents take?” The study also will chronicle the troubles children experience in school and in the health-care system when they choose to transition from their natal sexes. By recording and compiling the experiences of families, Kuvalanka’s team wants to help therapists, clinicians, social services, schools and other families understand what families of gender variant children go through.

One Direction’s Harry Styles has a butterfly tattooed on his stomach.

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Network is always free! Check out more event info on our Facebook page.

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creative class

Paper Cuts — — — —— by Erin McCalla

had paper elements, the Concourse gallery has never hosted a show that has concentrated solely on the art of papermaking.

Papel. Hârtie. Libro. Papier. Könyv. Kertas. Paper.

With work from nearly 30 artists, this exhibition will “stretch the imagination of our viewers and stretch the gallery space,” said Lynette Santoro-Au, the Upper Arlington arts manager.

No, this isn’t an origami show. From Aug 27 to Oct 25, the Concourse gallery in Upper Arlington will host a Trans-Fiber and Paper exhibit where the artists must both make the paper and manipulate it into their works of art. It’s a requirement to be included in the show curated by Char Norman and Elena Bonny. The intricate 30 to 50 pieces on display range in size from 8 inches to 8 feet, and while other exhibits have

august 2013

But that’s not all this exhibit is offering. You, too, can learn the art of making paper. Fiber artist Gibby Waitzkin will teach a hands-on workshop on Sept 21 and 22 in which students will explore the process of papermaking using ancient and innovative techniques.

Bob’s dream of papermaking just may come true!

Waitzkin’s expertise in the use of local plants to make paper promises to be an important addition to the project. Her brand of papermaking involves growing and harvesting the plant fibers and flowers, shredding, cooking, beating and pouring the pulp, photography, digital printing and composition. Participants will learn about plant fibers, fiber harvesting and prep, pulling and pouring sheets, composition and layout, pulp painting, embedding of objects - fabric, lace, feathers, thin ribbons, seeds, botanicals - and final preservation. The two-day workshop costs $75, and pre-registration is required by Sept 12. For more information on the exhibit and workshop, visit www.uaoh.net/culturalarts.

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Free Fireball, flying balls and boys in short shorts! Hoo-Rah!

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interview

‘All-American‘ Sensation Steve Grand Hopes YouTube Hit Is Just the Beginning by Gregg Shapiro photo by Joem Bayawa

I got into this to do, not to be a flash in the pan. To continue to create good music that resonates with people emotionally.

The YouTube hit of the summer - 1.6 million hits and counting tells that old and familiar story of a young man’s unrequited love for a straight friend.

GS: Have you written and recorded any other songs? SG: I’m always changing my mind, and I obsess over certain parts. Sometimes I’ll do a vocal take 300 times, so things take me kind of a while. But I do have a lot of songs recorded.

All-American Boy has all the right ingredients: a good tune, nice videography, more than a hint of nostalgia - and not one, but two cute all-American boys. All that’s missing is a boy-gets-boy ending after the drunken skinny-dipping and clumsy kiss, although the gentle rejection from a totally cool straight boy is much better than how such tales sometimes end. On the bootheels of his viral hit, Chicago-based singer/songwriter Steve Grand is trying to parlay overnight Internet stardom into a lasting career. Here’s what he has to say: Gregg Shapiro: Steve, how does it feel to be a YouTube sensation? Steve Grand: More than anything, I’m just grateful my song has reached so many people so quickly. And reached people that it has meaning for - people [who] feel the same way I felt and that it resonates with ... emotionally. That’s all I hoped for. That’s all you can hope for as a songwriter, as one who makes music and performs. As far as being a YouTube sensation goes [laughs], I am more than one song and one video. I certainly hope that this is just the very beginning - the tip of the iceberg - of a career. Because that’s what

august 2013

GS: You mentioned the impact that the song has had. For a lot of LGBT folks, All-American Boy is instantly relatable because everyone has had the experience of being attracted to or falling love with someone straight or unattainable. How personal is that experience for you? SG: We’ve all been there, and I mean gay, straight, bi, whoever you are. We’ve all fallen for someone that we can’t have, but it especially rings true in the specific story for LGBT people. It is the story of my life since I was 13. I was always crushing on the straight guy. I think it’s always been there because I grew up in a place where gay people weren’t visible. I was always crushing on my best friends. I think that’s the case, probably, for a lot of us. The song isn’t about anyone specific. It’s the accumulation of experiences. I definitely knew the story, as far as the video goes, all the imagery and things like that. I had a very particular vision in mind. I think all that was influenced by everything I’ve been through, growing up and having this happen to me over and over again.

SG: [Laughs] Hold on and don’t make yourself ... crazy. It’s tough, but it’s going to happen. It’s a part of life. Unless you’re in a world that’s exclusively gay, which I think few of us are, it’s going to happen. I think there’s a great power in being able to express it. I needed to get the song off my chest because I feel like that’s how I reconciled how I felt. I think it has helped people. I’ve read their messages, saying, “Thank you for telling my story,” and then they tell me what happened to them with their guys. I try to play therapist [laughs]. GS: Because of your religious upbringing and what you went through with your family and ex-gay therapy, you are being looked up to as a symbol of strength and overcoming the odds. What does that mean to you? SG: It’s very flattering to be a symbol of anything like that. To some degree I feel like, wow, I can’t live up to that [laughs]. ... But the story is true. I don’t want to let people down. I got into this to play music as a way to express myself and tell stories. My focus now is not letting the people who put their trust in me down and being there for them. GS: Finally, Steve, there is a famous tagline from the Diana Ross movie Mahogany that goes “Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.” Do you have someone you love to share it with you? SG: Yes, I’m sharing it with my family and my close friends. I’m lucky enough to have quite a few people.

GS: What kind of advice would you offer in that situation?

Don’t let that flag touch the ground!

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Two days of food trucks? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll gain ten pounds!

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bookmark

The Road Less Traveled

Columbus Man Pens Personal, Community History by Thomas Fletcher

bliss with affairs and long-term lovers.

The genre of growing-up-gay or coming-out writing has dominated the landscape of LGBT literature for at least a century. In the modern era, references to same-sex attraction and behavior morphed from veiled romantic friendship to a stated gay identity.

Martin, now 68, considered the risks of contracting AIDS early during his entry into the gay world. He was not a saint but thinks he was spared the fate of many who died by generally sticking to serial monogamy, long-term partnerships or periods of celibacy.

Fast forward to the present, and Columbus author Bernard Martin has offered his own highly charged and affecting take on this frequent theme in his book, Following My Path: Growing Up Gay in a Christian, Fundamentalist, Right-Wing, Conservative Family During the 1940s-1960s. It is a deeply personal account of how attitudes and behavior are shaped when a child is raised in an environment of intolerance that threatens him with eternal damnation.

Invaluable and precious are accounts of Columbus bars such as the Cat’s Meow, which predated the Kismet, Eagle, Tradewinds and the Garage. For millennial gays attached at the hip to smartphones or anyone under the age of 50, the historical value of Martin’s descriptive memories of gay bar social life are fascinating and illuminating of a time before Grindr. These chapters are a time capsule of a bygone era

Martin relays the extreme fundamentalist views and interpretation of the Bible by his mother, Alice, who strived to follow the path of being sanctified. He expresses regret and disdain for his mother’s religious beliefs, which colored their relationship and made her unhappy.

But Martin’s story isn’t all sturm und drang. From Tom Sawyer-like hijinks and other childhood adventures to the author’s first sexual experiences, the reader gets a glimpse of a time when the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name expressed itself at truck stops and urban areas where men attracted to other men would cruise and connect. The sexcapades and relationship dramas, referred to in the middle chapters of the book, run the gamut from the role of preteen jailbait chicken hustler, then hot young number in troll bars and gay nightspots in Chicago, to domesticated august 2013

Martin says he was the one of the first white, single men in Ohio to adopt a black child. Robert, Martin’s adopted son, is now an Ohio Highway Patrol officer, and his thank-you letter read at Martin’s retirement party should touch even the most jaded reader. Some of the strongest, clearest and most moving writing inhabits the final chapters of the book, which chronicle Martin’s challenges of living with cancer. His speech is impaired because of surgery to remove parts of his face, jaw and eyeball, resulting in wide-eyed stares from children and adults at the grocery store and pharmacy. As a coping mechanism, Martin describes his decision to create T-shirts with phrases such as “Cancer Isn’t Contagious, but Smiling Is.” He tells a child who remarks on the eye patch covering his empty eye socket that he’s a pirate, putting himself and the child at ease.

His father held similar views on homosexuality. Late in the book, the author describes how he reconciled with his father on the elder Martin’s deathbed.

poignant are chapters of the book devoted to the writer’s decision to adopt one of his students after the boy’s troubled mother died suddenly.

With emotional weight and aplomb, Martin navigates the landscape of the bucket list and a recognition that he’s not done living quite yet. He relishes time with his son and granddaughter who has trouble understanding his speech but loves her grandpa nonetheless. of bar raids and drag queens getting arrested for wearing women’s clothes. The memoir also exists outside the gay ghettos of Chicago and Columbus. The author chronicles his career as an English teacher in Columbus public schools. Particularly

Without resorting to cockeyed optimism or giving in to the grave nature of his life situation, Martin is steadfast in his reconciled faith in a God who loves him unconditionally and sustains him through trial and tribulation. Resilient, if a bit weary, he concludes his book with a determination to see the glass half-full rather than half-empty.

Erin often refers to her bedroom as “the road less traveled.”

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Stayed tuned to outlook for your chance to win free rides with COGO!

august 2013

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i ♥ the nightlife

Seven Days of Drink Specials by Erin McCalla We all want more bang for a buck whether it’s a buy-one-get-one-free sandwich or $10 off an oil change (no, that’s not a euphemism). And unless you’re living on a trust fund, you’ve had to booze on a budget at some point in your drinking career. That’s why outlook has complied this Monday through Sunday gay bar guide to get you liquored up for less. (See our bar map for addresses and directions.) Manic Monday Just like Karen Carpenter, rainy days and Mondays always get me down. Knowing that the beginning of the workweek is a real drag, Level has countered the Monday blues by offering an all-day happy hour. That’s right, discounted drinks all day. Why not extend the weekend a bit? They Call It Stormy Monday... But Tuesday’s Just As Bad You did it! You made it through the miserable Monday! But wait, there are still four days until the sweet, sweet weekend. That’s why Club 20 offers $3 Stoli drinks all night. Think of all the delicious combinations you can make. If you’re a rumrunner, AWOL serves $3.25 Bacardi drinks all night. Now you’ve got some decisions to make. Choose wisely. (Or take a cab and do a mini-bar crawl. After all, Tuesday is an underrated party night.) Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting Prayer meeting/Boys Night, same diff. With the combination of hot, half-naked boys and thumping beats, I’m sure someone will claim Wall Street on a Wednesday night to be a religious experience. That hallelujah feeling

august 2013

might have to do with the $2 Blue Ball shots, $3 well cocktails and $4 Smirnoff cocktails. They don’t call it Hump Day for nothing. But are you looking for something more relaxed? Head to Level for Wine Wednesday. Not only is it a wondrous way of working in some alliteration, it’s also a fantastic deal. All bottles of wine are 50 percent off. So why not order two? (Thursday) Here’s Why I Did Not Go to Work Today Don’t tell my boss, but on the next sunny Thursday, I think I’ll head to Exile and park myself on the giant back patio and drink the Three Wise Men - Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo - from open to close for $3.50. The lady loves her Jim Beam.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night! Oh, man. It’s time to put your booze shoes on. Personally, I think that there aren’t enough bars out there that serve beer in pitchers anymore. Club Diversity must agree, because on Saturdays they serve $6 pitchers (or $2 pints) of Bud Light and Miller Light. And they have a pretty delightful patio where you can enjoy those pitchers. After you’ve got your day-drinking beer fix, cross the street and head north to Tremont Lounge. While they don’t have a particular Saturday special, their happy hour lasts until 8p with domestic beers and well drinks for

$2 and import beers and calls drinks for $3. After Tremont, call a cab or take a stroll (remember to walk with a friend) to Wall Street to dance and shoot $3 Cherry Bombs. Sunday, Bloody Sunday Look at you. You have had quite a busy week. But with all that money you saved you can afford some hair of the dog. Southbend Tavern claims the Best Bloody Mary in Town and on Sundays, they serve them all day for a discounted $4. I mean, it’s tomato juice, so it’s basically good for you, right?

Can’t handle the hard stuff? Cavan Irish Pub offers all draft beers at happy-hour prices all day and all night. Friday on My Mind You’ve been waiting for Friday all week and since you (I) shucked your (my) work duties on Thursday, you (I) might as well dip out a bit early today and head to the Toolbox. From 4p-6p, they have their nightly Power Hour when domestic beers and well drinks are $1.25. Yeah, you read that correctly, but I’ll repeat myself: $1.25 for domestic beers and well drinks. Now that you’ve got a solid buzz going, take a cab to the Short North, where you can park it on Union’s patio and enjoy $5 Flirtinis, a fancyschmancy combination of vodka, champagne and pineapple juice. Refreshing AND potent.

Confusion arose when Chad realized he drinks 8 days a week.

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I wonder if they can turn that cycle into a generator if the power goes out?

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savageby Danlove Savage

the divine life by Debé

Head Fake I’ve been mostly happily married for 15 years. I’m a straight man. I love my wife. We used to have a great sex life. But after many years, children and just day-to-day reality, our sex life is now pretty unsatisfying. While my wife was barely GGG at the beginning, now she will not go down on me ever. We do have sex four to 10 times a month, but it is always plain vanilla. I went on Craigslist to look at the Casual Encounters ads, and after months of just looking, I replied to some. My only actual response admitted to being a man pretending to be a woman. Long story short, I let him blow me. I didn’t touch him. I just watched some straight porn while he blew me. I have done this a few times with different guys. I am not turned on by men at all, but I do enjoy the enthusiastic BJs when combined with straight porn. I can’t tell my wife about this, as it would end an otherwise good marriage. Questions: Does this make me gay, bi or neither? Do I have to stop? I have been careful to keep it pretty safe, and since I am not really attracted to or interested in these guys, it just serves to satisfy a “disproportionate sex drive” situation without the risk of any emotional cheating. I’m pretty sure if I found a woman interested in an affair or a FWB situation, it would be a much riskier emotional tightrope. One more question, I guess. What should I do?

call you gay or bi, BJS, seeing as you’re concentrating on straight porn during a 1.thoseI wouldn’t enthusiastic man-on-man blowjobs. What you describe sounds like a mild case of Blow Job Secrets

“situational homosexuality” - i.e., something that otherwise straight men sometimes do “for gratification or release in a single-sex environment,” as the sex-ed website SexInfoOnline puts it. You’re not locked in prison or stuck on a pirate ship, places characterized by the “the prolonged absence of partners of the opposite sex.” You’re just a blowjob-deprived married man with access to the Internet who figured out that accepting blowjobs from gay or bi men is cheaper than paying female sex workers to blow you and less entangling than entering into an affair with a woman. But you probably don’t want to describe yourself as “situationally homosexual,” as that sounds pretty gay, so let’s just go with “opportunistically heteroflexible,” OK? 2. Yes, BJS, I’m afraid you do have to stop. I would be inclined to give you a pass if you were not having sex with your wife at all - or having sex with her once or twice a year, or if your wife announced she was asexual - but you and the wife are having quite a lot of sex. If you were to contract gonorrhea or syphilis from one of your male sex partners, BJS, you would almost certainly pass the infection on to your wife before you became symptomatic and got treated. (Sorry, BJS, but unless you’re using condoms during those blowjobs, they’re not “safe.”) If telling your wife about the blowjobs now would result in the end of your marriage, BJS, imagine the results if you have to tell your wife about the blowjobs after you’ve passed a sexually transmitted infection along to her. 3. You should get your wife’s permission - maybe she’d be down with outsourcing oral duties she finds tiresome, maybe she’d like to have an adventure or two of her own - or you should knock it off.

Listen in as Dan gets drunk with NPR White House correspondent Ari Shapiro at Town Hall in Seattle: savagelovecast.com. Dan’s new book - American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics - is available now. mail@savagelove.net, @fakedansavage on Twitter

august 2013

Leo (July 23 - August 22) My, what a shiny mane you have, lions and lionesses. It’s your month to be noticed, and boy, are you ever! You really lay on the charm, and even an old flame is sniffing around for a morsel. Lately you’ve been putting off some decisions, and it’s time to make up your mind while everyone wants to be in your pride. Get as much done as possible while everyone adores you. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You still have the Midas touch with work and finances, but you aren’t really feeling the love. You’d rather go hide out somewhere, so try to get some alone time. By the end of the month you’ll be ready to play well with others again. Libra (September 23 - October 22) You know the expression if you want something done right, do it yourself? That’s your motto this month. Helpers can be more trouble than they’re worth until the end of the month, when help comes from a surprising source. A favorite toy may be a better lover until then. Just sayin’ ...

Easy does it; slow and steady wins the race. There’s a fine line between passionate and stalker. Trust me, restraining orders are no fun. Aries (March 21 - April 19) You hear the call of the wild this month, Ram. You are impatient and ready to lock horns, but try a little flexibility. You can’t be a top all the time. Things will go your way with a little cooperation. Just take a deep breath and keep the lube handy. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Balancing the homefront and work can be tricky. If you’re patient, you’ll have a good time with your significant other, so chill out. Otherwise, that stubborn streak will bring out your inner bitch. Keep that nastiness to yourself!

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You are putting a lot of energy into new ventures, and soon you’ll see results. Unfortunately, you’ve put your personal life on the back burner, and your lover’s getting a chill. Channel a little of that energy into the boudoir.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) This is a good month for you, as long as you’re proactive and plan ahead. For example, if your goal includes boys, pack condoms. If it’s girls, reserve your favorite getaway spot (or U-Haul). Get the idea?

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) The business side of things is humming, so it’s time to focus on your health and your love life. Maybe you can kill two birds with one stone with some aerobic, jungle gym, sweaty lovin’. It could be just what the doctor ordered.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) You are feeling large and in charge, but there are people who want to piss in your cornflakes. Pick your battles and focus on what you want most. You may find a resource you didn’t know you had along the way. A nice surprise.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) Uh-oh, there are storm clouds on the horizon. You are moody, and life may feel like an obstacle course. Approach it like an episode of American Gladiators and you’ll be fine. Focus on the negative instead and no one will want to play with your cranky ass. Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) It’s time to get real. Your expectations in relationships - both bed-mates and co-workers - might be too high, and that could spell trouble. Instead of criticizing, take that excess energy out at the gym. Better to get pumped than get dumped, baby. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Fishes just want to have fu-un, and you may feel the urge to rush things with a lover.

Bob has a casual encounter with veganism.

Handy Tip The Venus Mount (circled) is where passion, love of beauty and aggression can be found in the hand. A full, puffy mount indicates big and possibly lusty appetites!

Fierce Leos Madonna, J.Lo, Tim Gunn, Barack Obama Debé is a highly respected palmist, teacher and coowner of Enchanted Elements. She is available for personal readings, parties, events and workshops. Contact her at www.enchantedelements.com or 614.437.2642.

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www.outlookcolumbus.com a progressive voice for a progressive city

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Just dance, it will be OK.

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Every (You If you want to share month in print and don’t really your rants, raves or observaevery week online, we ask have to be a celeb. tions with the rest of Columbus, outlook readers to do our work This will launch call Erin McCalla at 614.268.8525, for us as Local Celebrity your career.) x2 or email her at emccalla@outGuest Bloggers. lookmedia.com. Or call. Email would be better.

Carl Ressler Top 5 Hopes for the Trans Community 5. Gender law 4. Philosophy 3. Equality 2. Acceptance 1. Awareness

August 5 topic: Finding Your Place

Michelle Nath

Top 5 It Gets Better Videos from Columbus 5. Alpha Sigma Beta fraternity 4. Franklinton LeaderSpark 3. Columbus Children’s Choir/Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus 2. U.S. Sen. Sherrod Brown 1. Columbus Division of Police

Jordan Kelsey August 12 topic: If Only Top 5 Countries Where I Had Known... “Gay”Is Googled Most Often 5. Colombia 4. Brazil 3. Nicaragua 2. Fiji 1. Mexico

August 19 topic: Gay Around the Globe

Jason Elizondo Top 5 Artistic Inspirations 5. Andy Warhol 4. Lana Del Rey 3. Alexander McQueen 2. Tim Burton 1. Lady Gaga

August 26 topic: My Art Could Mean Anything 32

august 2013

Bromance at Court Across 1 Hazard for Sheehan 5 Discussion venue 10 Computes the bottom line 14 Sally in space 15 River of Cologne 16 Theater chain name 17 Shakespeare’s stream 18 Push forward 19 Rick’s old flame 20 With 22-Across, star of 300 22 See 20-Across 24 Land of O. Wilde 25 Soap title character of the ‘70s 29 Prepare to shoot off 30 Ship’s load 32 “I Got Rhythm” writer Gershwin 33 Dessert trays 35 Like a bunch of blooming pansies 38 Star of The Hangover 42 Animal populations 43 Emerald Isle province 45 Muscle Mary’s pride 46 Interior design 50 Rare sports result

I love a good Bromance.

51 Raise the price of, at Barneys 54 Tat word, often 55 ___ Loa 57 Sports event where 20-Across and 38-Across were recently seen together 60 Brown known for colorful characters 63 Composer Bernstein 67 Aroused in bed 68 Pain in an orifice 69 Submits 70 New Jersey capital

Down 1 Like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet 2 Husband of 5-Down 3 Heartthrob’s fan 4 Elizabeth of Transamerica 5 Painter Kahlo 6 Electrical unit 7 Headstone letters 8 One of “Fifty Million Frenchmen” 9 Type of toast 10 Hit the ground 11 Susan B. Anthony coin 12 Where Priscilla is queen 13 Insect groups ruled

by queens 21 Girl in a Beach Boys song 23 Dorky 26 Rub the wrong way 27 Reverend Perry 28 Opposite of fem. 31 Composer ___ Carlo Menotti 34 Roadies’ burdens 36 Ran, as colors 37 Tart-tasting 38 Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You ___” 39 Red-brown 40 Caesar’s last question 41 Jockey strap? 42 Way out 44 Breakfast on Pluto actor Stephen 47 Completely encloses 48 KFC rank 49 Brunch entree 52 Lammy, for one 53 Two-inch putt, e.g. 55 Julianne of The Hours 56 Kofi of the UN 58 Editor Roshan 59 Letter opener 60 Informer 61 Bonheur’s island 62 Catch some rays 64 Be in a cast 65 P on Socrates’ paper 66 Bear necessity

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DebĂŠ, one of the owners of Enchanted Elements, writes the Astro Forecast on Page 30. august 2013 33

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deep inside hollywood by Romeo San Vicente

august 2013

If you were in Inception, what would your totem be?

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Are you ready for the Out of the Closet opening? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just around the corner.

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