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The Voice of Ohio’s LGBT and Ally Community
OHIO’S AIDS WALKS
4 CITIES
PICTURE PAGES OHIO LGBT SPORTS TEAMS
IN 2 DAYS
COACH MITCHI & THE TOLEDO REIGN WOMEN’S FOOTBALL TEAM
TRIPPIN’ OUT TO HUESTON WOODS
Outlook Interviews:
FOOD NETWORKÊS
TED ALLEN
BLACK GAY MEN
TELL THEIR STORIES ON STAGE
& GAME OF THRONESÊ
KRISTIAN NAIRN
vol 18 • issue 11
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vol 19 • #11
the sports issue
6
you are here
8
snapshot
10
qmunity
12
polisigh
14 16
featture ohio LGBT sports teams
feature: ohio LGBT sports teams feature: toledo reign women’s football
18 20
small pond: Wheat Penny
22
fashion: lux for less
25
creative class: pouring tea
29
interview: ted allen
32
deep inside hollywood
26
creative class: ballroom
30
interview: kristian nairm
34
travel: hueston woods
36
the other side
38
dyke like me
41
42
complete the circuit out & about / lgbt bar roundup
44 45
the divine life
46
couple of guys
46 46
savage love
blogoqueer
puzzling
next month:
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I ♥ Ohio People
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you are here
Who You Calling Sissy?
I know we all have at least one traumatic gym class story. Mine has to do with being dragged out of the locker room in bikini underwear by my on-again-offagain bullies in an attempt to throw me into the gym.
I grew up with a brother four years my elder, and to say we were rough-and-tumble would be to put it lightly. I wasn’t a bruiser by any means, but I could hold my own if push came to shove. In this case, I was able to death grip the door and kick, bite and punch my way from being totally humiliated. Embarrassing as that was, I’m still more pissed I wore those underwear that day. I remember when it was time to change, I was like, “what were you thinking,” and hoped no one would notice. That was, of course, not the case. I was quickly picked out as that day’s target in the warfare that is the boys’ junior-high locker room, and ridicule swiftly turned into the aforementioned altercation. I knew better than to wear those underwear anytime someone could see them, because I knew if they did, I would be singled out as gay for wearing girllike underwear. If you wanted to survive 8th grade in 1987 the last thing you wanted to do is to give off an indication of an alternate sexuality, especially in a changing area. I remember feeling at the time that I wasn’t even comfortable wearing those bikinis, really. I remember thinking they were kinda gay but also kinda sexy, too. Neither of which I was even close to being ready to deal with myself. So it’s still no surprise to me that my peers weren’t either. Skimpy, shiny panties on gym day: Ahh, you live and learn. And what I’ve learned over time is that it’s not people’s distaste for thongs that is the problem, but rather this learned ethos
that different is bad and should be feared. It’s that fear that causes all of us to react in ways to either oppose those who are different or try to hide our own differences.
change your friends’ oil, and that combination doesn’t make you any less of a woman, either.
For me, I like sports well enough. As a kid I played soccer, basketball and ran track until I got in Our community has been deal- high school (from there it was ing with that since Day One, and singing and dancing!). I kicked no other place is it more preva- ass at some tetherball and lent than on a playing field. killed it at four-square. I won a doubles tennis tournament one The bastion of masculinity and summer when I think I was gender division, gay men’s abil- going into 7th grade, but I’m ity to play sports is constantly in pretty sure I was the oldest kid question and lesbians’ desire to in my league. Sorry 4-year-olds. play sports has traditionally I’m keeping that statue. been discouraged. Because of that, many of us have struggled I’m also an Eagle Scout, so I’m with where we fit in on the field. down with all that outdoorsy stuff like hiking, camping, The truth of the matter is if we archery and tying knots. want to play, then we belong on the field. Just because we like I grew up a Steelers fan. Got into matching genitalia has nothing the Buckeyes when I moved to to do with our ability to throw a Columbus (God help your Fall if ball or check someone into the you don’t), I’m a semi-regular at glass. the Crew and make sure to hit up at least two or three ball We might know that mentally, games a season, and when Bob but how many of us actually feel has extra Jacket tickets here in that way? Years of conditioning the office, I jump on the chance that gay means weak and lesto go. bian isn’t feminine has us, and the rest of the world, constantly All of these things don’t make questioning our ability - and me any less gay or more right - to play. And those horrible straight. They are just a part of seeds of doubt blossom in prob- who I am. Don’t you think it’s lematic ways. time we stop judging ourselves either by thinking “Oh, what are Because we were told we were you trying to prove?” when we too much of a sissy to play or see our peers head to the Gay that we shouldn’t be such a Games? Or “Ugh, why I am tomboy, those of us who do play around all these fags?” when can be overzealous in our vocal- you’re with a group that knows ization of our love of sports. How all the lyrics to Sunset Boulemany times have you heard a vard, but couldn’t tell you if gay guy say, “I’m not your typi- hockey was played in quarters or cal gay guy. I’m a jock. I play periods. sports. I wear jerseys and jeans. I drink beer”? We are never going to be accepted on the field if we don’t Good for you if that’s you. But if accept ourselves first. it’s you battling society to fit in, well, you’re not battling stereo- Now, play ball! types, you’re validating them. Sincerely, You can play basketball and love theater and wear skinny Christopher Hayes jeans. They are not mutually ex- Publisher clusive, nor do they make you any less of a man. You can play football, wear overalls and
Like us on Facebook at OutlookOhio!
PUBLISHER Christopher Hayes
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHERS Bob Vitale / Chad Frye
HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Ste G, Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone / 614.261.8200 fax SALES Chad Frye / cfrye@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bob Vitale / bvitale@outlookmedia.com MANAGING EDITOR Erin McCalla / erin@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS James Blackmon, Brooke Cartus, Alisa Caton, Luke Darby, Debé, Al Gerhardstein, Orie Givens, Ryan Harris, Aaron Leventhal, Erin McCalla, Jim Obergefell, Romeo San Vicente, Dan Savage, Bob Vitale, Mickey Weems ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes / art@outlookmedia.com
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Chris Hayes, Don Sgontz, Enoch Wu CYBERSPACE outlookohio.com outlookmedia.com networkcolumbus.com twitter / fb: outlookcolumbus Outlook is published and distributed by Outlook Media Inc., on the first day of each month throughout Ohio. Outlook is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue of Outlook with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in Outlook are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media Inc., or its staff, ownership or management. Outlook Media Inc., does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media Inc., assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2014 by Outlook Media Inc., All rights reserved.
puzzling solution - puzzle on pg 46
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Cincinnati HRC Gala 2/28/2015 @ Horseshoe Casino photos: Emma Parker
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View more photos on our Facebook page: Outlook Ohio
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Mary Jo Hudson Fundraiser Columbus School Board 3/2/2015 @ The Kitchen
Network Columbus 3/11/2015 @ The Welsh photos: Chris Hayes
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Get your event photos in Outlook! Send them to bvitale@outlookmedia.com.
april 2015
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Man Admits Attack; Prosecutor Denies Hate Crime felonious assault and aggravated robbery against Candice Rose Milligan, who suffered a fractured jaw and skull and needed two surgeries after the attack.
Candice Rose Milligan
Milligan was attacked by three men and has said she was called by a derogatory name, but Assistant Lucas County Prosecutor Claudia Ford told The Blade of Toledo that Temple did not express hatred toward LGBT people when he was interviewed by police.
Ford told the newspaper: “I don’t know that A Toledo man faces up to 19 years in prison this was a hate crime.” Ohio law doesn’t adwhen he’s sentenced for his part in a Novemdress hate crimes based on a victim’s gender ber 2014 attack against a transgender woman identity or sexual orientation, but members of on a Downtown street in broad daylight. the Toledo City Council asked the US Justice Department to investigate the attack as a fedChristopher Temple pleaded guilty in March to eral hate crime.
Dayton Billboards Promote LGBT Issues
Michael Knote, whose Facebook page has become a worldwide lifeline for young LGBT people, raised $1,700 from supporters in three days to pay for 13 messages on a digital billboard seen by drivers headed north and south on the interstate.
The messages include the inspirational (“Be the Change You Wish to See”), informational (“41% of the Transgender Community in the USA Have Attempted Suicide”), political
Dolce & Gabbana
“We oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one. ... You are born to a mother and a father - or at least that’s how it should be. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalog.” 10
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Alabama: Finally, a sane public official in Alabama. Madison County Circuit Judge Karen Hall, who last year said she didn’t have the power to grant a divorce to a lesbian couple who had married in Iowa, approved the women’s request on March 12.
Wisconsin: How has marriage equality affected life in Wisconsin? Not at all, according to 70 percent of people in a March poll by Public Policy Polling. Twelve percent said the impact has been positive, while 18 percent said the impact has been negative.
Nebraska: The state’s 2000 marriage ban was struck down on March 2 by US District Judge Joseph Bataillon, but weddings are on hold until a May hearing by the 8th US Court of Appeals.
Nationwide: A national poll in 2004 showed just 30 percent of Americans supported marriage equality, while 60 percent opposed. A March poll by NBC News and the Wall Street Journal found the opposite: 59 percent support, and 33 against.
Oklahoma: Weren’t we supposed to be the ones who destroyed marriage? Conservatives in the state House voted 67-24 in favor of a bill to end government-sanctioned marriage. It would put religious groups in charge of issuing licenses. Texas: Conservative leaders and lawmakers sliced a wedding cake to celebrate the 10th - and most likely last - anniversary of the state’s marriage ban. Utah: Although they vow to uphold the law, government officials would be able to refuse to marry people they don’t like under a bill approved by the state Senate.
More than 300,000 people driving through Dayton on I-75 have been getting a greeting from Have a Gay Day over the last month.
He was hoping to keep them up through April as well.
The Month in Marriage
2016 Politics: Forget that speculation that likely presidential candidate Jeb Bush is staking out LGBT-friendly ground in the Republican field. “I believe in traditional marriage,” he told a conservative gathering. Peru: A committee of the federal legislature killed a bill that would have allowed samesex couples to enter into civil unions. The debate was marked by a Catholic bishop’s name-calling: Monsignor Luis Bambarén called openly gay lawmaker Carlos Bruce a maricon, or “faggot,” in Peruvian media. Slovenia: Lawmakers voted 51-28 on March 3 for marriage equality and the right of same-sex couples to adopt children.
Ohio’s Gay Games Were Most Profitable Ever (“Hate Is Not Holy”) and thankful (“If You Support the LGBT Community, Thank You”). “We have only heard positive responses with them,” Knote said. The billboards also were the subject of news stories on Dayton TV.
Elton John
“How dare you refer to my beautiful children as ‘synthetic.’ And shame on you for wagging your judgmental little fingers at [in vitro fertilization] - a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfill their dream of having children. Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions. I shall never wear Dolce and Gabbana ever again.” #BoycottDolceGabbana
A few years before they began, folks in other cities called on the Federation of Gay Games to take the 2014 Games away from Cleveland and Akron, citing early troubles in funding and organization. But Northeast Ohio got the last laugh.
A final report on the 9th Gay Games from local organizers showed the August 2014 event was the most profitable in the Games’ 32-year history. Those profits have helped start a Gay Games LGBT Legacy Fund at the Cleveland Foundation and have given a boost to the Gay Community Endowment Fund of Akron Community Foundation. The money will go to LGBT groups and efforts designed to help the community in each city. The final report on the Northeast Ohio Games also detailed several more bests and firsts:
Opponents of equality seem to be getting crazier and crazier.
• They had the largest number of competitive events, with 36 different sports. • They were the first to include a welcome from the host country’s president. President Obama recorded a welcome that was broadcast during the Aug 9 opening ceremonies at Quicken Loans Arena. • They were the first to be live-streamed. • They were the first to be advertised on television. • They were the first Gay Games with a presenting sponsor (The Cleveland Foundation). outlookohio.com
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Dating Apps Push Syphilis Testing Public health officials say they’re making progress against a rise in syphilis cases in Columbus by getting the word out through men’s dating apps and websites.
are painless and often mistaken for blemishes or ingrown hairs.
Public service announcements and bright red banner ads are greeting Central Ohio users of Grindr, Growlr, Adam4Adam and other social media. “ATTENTION COLUMBUS/SYPHILIS OUTBREAK/GET TESTED,” they advise in big capital letters. The ads’ effect: THEY’RE WORKING.
Condoms prevent transmission of syphilis if they prevent contact with sores, but sores on areas of the body not covered obviously can still spread infection. Syphilis cases in Columbus were up 40 percent in 2014. Columbus Public Health spokesman Jose Rodriguez said the local infection rate is twice Ohio’s and three times the national rate.
Dwayne Steward, the LGBTQ liaison for Columbus Public Health, said the number of people visiting clinics and community groups for syphilis testing increased 20 percent in January and February over the first two months of 2014. Free testing is offered at seven sites in Columbus, including Columbus Public Health’s walk-in clinic five days a week.
Of the people infected in Columbus, 84 percent are men, and three-quarters of that total are men who have sex with men. About 45 percent of the people with syphilis also are HIV-positive.
Syphilis is highly treatable but can bring on serious complications if left unchecked. It’s marked by sores on the genitals, on the anus or in the rectum, or on the lips or in the mouth. It’s passed through direct contact with the sores, which in the early stages
Ohio Department of Health officials said there hasn’t been as big an increase in syphilis cases in other Ohio communities, although spikes occur periodically. Cuyahoga County cases jumped in 2010, and Southwest Ohio counties reported increases in 2012.
More than half of the Columbus cases are among African-American residents.
‘Heather Has Two Mommies’ Re-Released
But then again, Heather Has Two Mommies did espouse such notions as, “The most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love each other.” The 1989 book was re-released in March. Among the updates: Heather’s mommies are wearing wedding rings in new illustrations.
In a year that gave us parachute pants, it’s hard to imagine a sweetas-pie children’s book causing much controversy. outlookohio.com
Just how controversial was the book back then? The American Library Association says it was the 11th mostoften banned book in the 1990s. According to The Associated Press, a library patron in some unidentified Ohio town defecated on it.
Save the Date
Around the State
AKRON: Truth in advertising! For a recent show at Cocktails, organizers listed the starting time as “7pm (drag time).”
their academic work.
COLUMBUS: Flaggots Ohio will perform in the Washington, DC, Pride parade on June 13. But don’t worry: They’ll CINCINNATI: Organizers be back in plenty of time for of the Ohio Lesbian Archives, their annual performance at a collection of journals, mag- Columbus Pride on Saturday, azines and newsletters from June 20. earlier days, are cataloging their holdings. If you’d like to DAYTON: The deadline is help, email April 15 to apply for college OLArchives@gmail.com. scholarships offered by PFLAG Dayton and the CLEVELAND: Case Western Greater Dayton LGBT Center. Reserve University will host an They’re awards of either LGBT Research Symposium on $1,000 or $2,000, offered to Thursday, April 23. Students LGBT or allied students. Click and faculty from all fields the Scholarships tab at have been invited to present pflagdayton.org.
Ohio’s Pride Calendar Set
runs both days. The parade, with grand marshal Jim Obergell, the Ohioan whose marriage-equality case will be Dayton kicks off the season with heard by the US Supreme Court its annual festival and parade on on April 28, is on Saturday. Saturday, June 6. Youngstown Pride is expanding to two days of Cincinnati and Cleveland will host their Pride festivals and events, with a kickoff party on Friday, June 12, and the festival parades on the same day: Saturday, June 27. The celebration and parade on Saturday, June in Cincinnati also includes a 13. Pub Crawl (by bus) on Friday, Columbus Pride, Ohio’s biggest June 26. with about 350,000 revelers, is slated for Friday, June 19, and Toledo, again, will close Ohio’s Saturday, June 20. The festival, Pride season with a three-day festival from Friday, Aug 28, which will feature country through Sunday, Aug 30. The singer Billy Gillman and The Voice alum Michelle Chamuel, parade is on Saturday, Aug 29. Ohio’s Pride celebrations have all circled their dates. And so should you.
7th TransOhio Trans and Ally Symposium transohio.org May 29-31, Columbus HRC Columbus Gala hrc.org/columbus June 6, Columbus Dayton Pride daytonlgbtcenter.org June 6, Dayton Love Big LGBT Wedding Expo Columbus lovebigweddingexpo.com June 7, Columbus Youngstown Pride prideyoungstown.org June 12-13, Youngstown Columbus Pride columbuspride.org June 19-20, Columbus Gay Day @ Cedar Point FB: Gay Day at Cedar Point June 21, Sandusky Cincinnati Pride cincinnatipride.org June 27, Cincinnati Cleveland Pride clevelandpride.org June 27, Cleveland
We Are Pleased
to Announce...
Tim Wilkins and Chris Tovar were married on January 30, 2015, in New York City.
Columbus Public Health offers free HIV and STI screenings on Mondays and Thursdays from 5p to 8p.
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©Kevin Wolf/AP Images for Human Rights Campaign
polisigh
More Than
Words
Their Marriage Vow Inspired Their Fight for Equality Jim Obergefell Editor’s note: Jim Obergefell and John Arthur of Cincinnati filed the first federal lawsuit after the 2013 US Supreme Court decision that struck down major portions of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. The Supreme Court will take up marriage equality once again through their case on April 28. A decision is expected in June.
by Jim Obergefell I do. It’s amazing how much meaning, how much emotion such a simple sentence can carry. “I do” encompasses so many promises. I promise to love you. I promise to protect you. I promise to put your needs ahead of mine. I promise to start and end every day with you in my heart and thoughts. I promise to honor you. I promise to always stand up for you. Many more promises are wrapped up into that short, simple sentence. It’s a sentence I and so many others never expected to utter in our lifetimes. I said those words to John in July 2013, two weeks after the US Supreme Court ruled on the Windsor case; a bit more than two years after John was diagnosed with ALS, a progressive neurological disease that leads to paralysis and death; and more than 20 years after falling in love with him. I said those words and made those promises to John in a cramped medical jet on the tarmac of Baltimore-Washington International 12
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emails and calls. Handmade gifts, drawings and memorials. Handshakes, hugs, laughter and tears. These small moments remind me As he had been throughout our relationship, John was more concerned about me than him- why I did this and reinforce that it was the self. “I think we should, but you know, Jim, this right decision. will all be on you because I can’t do anything.” Knowing that my decision to keep my promIt was one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever ises to my husband has had an impact on so We felt different after saying those words. Bet- made; I wasn’t willing to let my promises to ter. More complete. We called each other hus- honor him, protect him and stand up for him many others makes it all worthwhile. If I could go back to that day, I wouldn’t change my dego unfulfilled. I wasn’t willing to let another band a few hundred times a day, and it felt couple hear those same horrible words. I was- cision to stand up for our rights, or to start good. n’t willing to be treated as a second-class citi- that fight even as John neared the end of his life. zen any longer. We Three days later, a decided to file suit friend who knew we against the state of We made that decision because it was the had a problem asked Ohio in federal court. right thing to do. It was the right thing for us, if we would be willing for all couples like us, and for the promise of to meet with a civilequality embodied by our Constitution. John died three rights attorney. We months and 11 days did, and that meeting On April 28, I go to the US Supreme Court as after we married. I is when the grandest wouldn’t trade those the lead plaintiff in the case that will decide, adventure of my life three months and 11 once and for all, whether marriage equality building a life with becomes law in all 50 states. days for anything, John - took an unexeven as I watched ALS pected turn. rob him of all abilities, I can’t adequately express the emotions I experience when I think about my name being It’s heart-wrenching including speaking forever tied with the marriage equality fight. to learn that, when and, finally, breathyour spouse dies, his ing. I can think of no Never in my wildest dreams could I have last official record will greater honor than to imagined going to the US Supreme Court, let care for your spouse alone being the named plaintiff. It’s incredibly be incorrect because and keep the promhumbling to think about stepping into the the state of Ohio ises made when saying, “I do.” highest court in the land to fight not just for would refuse to recognize our marriage, and John and me, but for people all across our me as his surviving spouse, on his death cercountry. tificate. Our legal marriage would officially not Over the past 20 months, countless people family, friends and strangers alike - have exist. We would be legal strangers in Ohio reached out to express their gratitude for the I promised to honor and cherish John until the after almost 21 years together. day I die, and as unbelievable as it might fight we started that July. Cards, letters, Airport. We knew our time as husband and husband would be limited because of his health, but we made the decision to marry because we wanted to make our commitment to each other, our promises to each other, legal and public.
The only way to fix the problem was to sue.
“We felt different after saying those words. Better. More complete. We called each other husband a few hundred times a day, and it felt good.”
Jim’s case is one of two from Ohio going before the US Supreme Court.
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sound, my upcoming trip to the Supreme Court made available to all couples. still seems like an inadequate way to repay My fondest wish, should the Supreme Court him for loving me and rule in our favor in June and bring building a life with me. marriage equality to the Marriage is about loving entire land, is and honoring another that someone is person. It’s about pledginspired to do ing yourself to that perwhat I did on son. It’s about standing June 26, 2013, up in front of your famafter the Windsor ily, friends and the ruling was regovernment to say this leased - propose to is the person I love the love of his or and choose to spend her life. my life with. Marriage is about promJ im a n d J ises made and What a fine legacy o h n’s We dding promises kept. that would be for my F ligh t husband, John. I look forward to the day my government honors and respects those promises I do. and allows all couples, gay or straight, to make those same promises to each other. I look for- Such a powerful sentence. One we all deserve ward to the day my government respects and the right to say to the one we love. protects my marriage, just like any other marriage. I look forward to the day the rights and John, I’m keeping my promises. responsibilities that go with marriage are
Closing Argument: ‘Litigaytors’ Ready for Supreme Court Hearing by Al Gerhardstein
When Jim Obergefell and John Arthur asked us to start this fight in Ohio, we had no idea it would be their case that would go all the way I have been suing government, big corporato the US Supreme Court. But on April 28 that tions and powerful people for 38 years. is exactly what will happen. My law partner, Jennifer Branch; our associates, Jaci Martin Our firm has been representing members of the LGBT community that entire time. Normally and Adam Gerhardstein; and co-counsel Lisa Meeks and Ellen Essig have all joined in as our clients have been fired or physically “Litigaytors” to convince the Supreme Court abused by the police. In Obergefell v. Hodges and Henry v. Hodges, our clients are in love. Al- that Ohio should recognize same-sex marriages celebrated in other states. ready married. They simply want what different-sex married couples already have: recognition by the state so their children have two legal parents, not one, and so tax, inheritance, medical and property rights are secure. Recognition of marriages will also require that death records properly state the deceased was married and properly list husbands and wives as surviving spouses. Why is this so hard? Only 13 states refuse to permit same-sex recognize marriages to be celebrated or recognized. Unfortunately, Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee and Michigan are part of that intolerant club. outlookohio.com
We have enjoyed excellent help from the ACLU and Lambda Legal, and we are also working with other national groups as we file briefs and prepare for argument. Hopefully, we will learn of our victory at the end of June. Jennifer Branch is ready with the next case already pending in federal court that will secure the right to same-sex marriage in Ohio. So stay tuned! We are truly honored and humbled to take on this cause and are working as hard as we can to secure full equality in Ohio.
Columbus Brides Rejected by Anti-Marriage Business Owner Their story had a quick impact. The Bexley chamber, which the women said was nonresponsive to their initial contact, issued a later statement that its mission includes “encouraging inclusivity, prioritizing diversity, and forbidding discrimination.”
The Bexley Area Chamber of Commerce has vowed to implement a policy that forbids its members from discriminating against customers or employees based on their sexual orientation or gender expression. The new policy comes after a videographer in the Columbus suburb told a lesbian couple that she doesn’t offer services for same-sex weddings and later said the decision is “based on my spiritual beliefs and the biblical definition of marriage.” Jerra Knicely and Jen Moffat emailed Next Door Stories and shared their rejection from owner Courtney Schmackers on Facebook and other social media. The story was picked up by CNN. “This issue is not about us but making changes for the future,” Knicely said.
Bexley Mayor Ben Kessler told WCMH-TV in Columbus that he supports adding sexual orientation and gender identity to his city’s anti-discrimination ordinance. Columbus is among 13 Ohio cities that outlaw discrimination against LGBT people. Ohio’s state laws do not. Same-sex couples around the country have faced rejection from anti-gay bakers, photographers, venue owners and other vendors since marriage equality began expanding to more states. Most prominent in Ohio, a board that oversees operations of the Statehouse enforces a policy that effectively bars same-sex couples from renting its space for ceremonies or receptions. Outlook will host LGBT wedding expos this year in five Ohio cities - Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton and Toledo - featuring only businesses that support marriage equality and welcome LGBT customers. The first is scheduled for Dayton, at the Hilton Garden Inn, on Sunday, April 26.
They DonÊt Discriminate Twelve Ohio municipalities and one county have local ordinances that prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, according to the Human Rights Campaign: • Athens • East Cleveland • Bowling Green • Newark • Cincinnati • Oxford • Cleveland • Summit County • Columbus • Toledo • Coshocton • Yellow Springs • Dayton
Thank you, Jim and Al, for sharing your thoughts.
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Cleveland
photos by Don Sgontz
OHIO LGBT SPORTS
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CLEVELAND Cleveland Aquatic Team
Twice-a-week practice sessions clevelandaquaticteam.com FB: Cleveland Aquatic Team info@clevelandaquaticteam.com You Can Play!
Cleveland Out and About
Hiking, canoeing and other outdoor recreation clevelandoutandabout.org FB: Cleveland Out and About mail@clevelandoutandabout.org outlookohio.com
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Lake Erie Volleyball Association North Coast Softball
25 teams compete from January to March lakeerievolleyball.com FB: Lake Erie Volleyball Association
Teams compete from April through July northcoastsoftball.org FB: North Coast Softball
levainformation@gmail.com
commissioner@northcoastsoftball.org
North Coast Athletic Flag Football League
Shooters Pool League
Men and women of all skill levels northcoastfootball.com FB: Cleveland Rockers / North Coast Football info@northcoastfootball.com Cleveland Rockers
North Coast flag football’s travel team FB: Cleveland Rockers North Coast Bowling Association
Friday night bowling from September to March ncbafriday.org FB: NCBA Friday League bwseric1@aol.com outlookohio.com
Seasons run from October to March FB: Shooters Pool League shooterspool@yahoo.com Team Cleveland
Umbrella group for Cleveland LGBT teams and leagues teamcle.org FB: Team CLE eprogar@teamcle.org Team Cleveland Tennis
Membership includes group lessons teamclevelandtennis.org FB: Team Cleveland Tennis teamcletennis@gmail.com
Dayton Dayton Gay Euchre
Registration starts in August daytoneuchre.com euchre@daytoneuchre.com Dayton Gay Volleyball Club
Open volleyball every week daytongayvolleyballclub.com FB: Dayton Gay Volleyball Club daytongayvolleyball@gmail.com Rainbow Bowling League
Thursday night league FB: Dayton Rainbow League
Pride Night at the Columbus Clippers is Saturday, April 25. Visit outlookohio.com for tickets.
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Are you ready for the Gay Softball World Series?
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COLUMBUS CMH Gay Bowling
Wednesday and Sunday leagues cmhgaybowling.com
Columbus Lesbian Softball League
Nine teams in two divisions columbuslesbiansoftball.com FB: Columbus Lesbian Softball League
Capital City Volleyball
info@columbuslesbiansoftball.com
Fall and winter leagues for all skill levels capitalcityvolleyball.org FB: Capital City Volleyball columbusccv@gmail.com
Columbus Metropolitan Tennis Organization (CMTO)
CBus Hoops
All levels from beginner to experienced cbushoops.com FB: CBus Hoops cbushoops@gmail.com Columbus Coyotes Rugby Football Club
Gay and allies rugby team columbuscoyotes.com FB: Columbus Coyotes RFC columbuscoyotesrfc@gmail.com Columbus Electronic Dart League
League travels from bar to bar mycedl.com FB: Columbus Electronic Dart League webmaster@myecdl.com Columbus Lesbian & Gay Softball Association
Cincinnati
Teams are divided into five divisions clgsa.com FB: Columbus Lesbian and Gay Softball Association (CLGSA) commissioner@clgsa.com
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Summer leagues and winter tennis socials cmto1.org FB: CMTO info@cmto1.org Columbus Ohio Gay Lesbian & Ally Hockey Association
The new group is just forming columbusgayhockey.org FB: COGLAHA Gay Hockey Ohio/ Ohio Mayhem
Team plays in Columbus recreation league gayhockeyohio.com FB: Gay Hockey Ohio president@gayhockeyohio.com 2015 Gay Softball World Series
Columbus will host the event in August 2015 gsws2015.org FB: 2015 Gay Softball World Series info@gsws2015.org
LGBT Hiking Club
Hikes for all levels of fitness stonewallcolumbus.org/ hikingclub FB: LGBT Hiking Club Stonewall Columbus lgum@columbuspride.org
Stonewall Columbus Runners Club
Meets bi-monthly spring through fall FB: Runners Club Stonewall Columbus swcrunner_kelly@yahoo.com
Rainbow Golf League
Toledo
Friday play, open to guests rainbowgolf.org FB: Rainbow Golf League director@rainbowgolf.org
Euchre Club of Toledo
Mostly LGBT group meets Saturdays at Mojo FB: Euchre Club of Toledo
CINTIT, Cincinnati Tri-State Invitational Tournament
Annual LGBT bowling tournament cintit.org FB: Cincinnati Tri-State Invitational Tournament director@cintit.org
CINCINNATI Cincinnati Alternative Volleyball Association
Sand and indoor volleyball leagues cincyvball.org FB: Cincinnati Alternative Volleyball Association (CAVA) cincyvball@gmail.com
Cincinnati Frontrunners/ Frontwalkers
Meets Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays frontrunners.org FB: Frontrunners Cincinnati Cincinnati Queer Yoga
Monthly classes taught for queers by queers FB: Cincinnati Queer Yoga
Pride Night at the Columbus Crew is July 19. Get tickets at outlookohio.com.
Rivercity Softball Association
Recreational, intermediate and competitive leagues myrivercitysoftball.net FB: Rivercity Softball Association rivercitysoftball@gmail.com Tri State Alternative Bowling Alliance
FB: TSABA april 2015
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feature
Football Royalty
Toledo Reign Continue a Long Tradition of Women’s Football in Northwest Ohio
by Erin McCalla
The Toledo Troopers lasted nine, from 1971 to 1979, and lost only four games out of 68 played. In 1983, There is a long history of women’s they were recognized by the Pro Footfootball in Toledo, and Coach Mitchi ball Hall of Fame for being the winCollette has been around for most of ningest pro football team ever. To it. date, Toledo’s women’s football teams have won eight champiIt started in 1930 with the idea that onships, more than any other people would pay good money to see women’s football team. ladies battle it out on the gridiron, and they came in droves to see two Today’s team, the Toledo Toledo teams. But when then-First Reign, started in 2003 in Lady Lou Hoover got wind of an exhi- the Women’s Pro Football bition game to be played in Detroit, League; they’ll compete she wrote a scathing letter asking this year in the Independthe teams to stop exploiting women. ent Women’s Football League against PittsAnd so there wasn’t another team in burgh, Wisconsin and BalToledo until 1971, when talent scout timore. Sid Friedman planned and promoted an exhibition game with the Toledo “The Reign, I truly believe, Troopers and Cleveland USA Darewill take the division this devils. Toledo lost that game, but year; we took it last year,” Collette Freidman made a lot of money, so he said. “We’re rebuilding what seems started more teams in cities like De- like every year, but every year it’s gettroit, Buffalo and Columbus. Toledo ting better and better.” didn’t lose another game until 1976 against Oklahoma City. Along with coaching, Collette owns the Reign with business partner “I was playing that game; I’ll never Beth Razzoog, who takes care of the forget,” said Collette, who started business aspects while Collette foplaying in 1973. Her career as a cuses on the team. right guard and linebacker lasted 13 years. “This is my 13th season of coaching. photos by Enoch Wu
To this day, on the sidelines, I miss my helmet and shoulder pads and being on the field,” Collette said. “I can’t stand it; I’d rather play than coach. I loved playing, and the only reason I couldn’t play is because I got older. After playing for 13 years, I’m now feeling it. My last game I was 50, it was the first year of the Reign and I was a player/coach. After that season, I’m like, ‘I can’t
There are few other women coaches in football - even in women’s football - and the men in the league don’t always give Collette the respect she deserves. Outside women’s football, though, she has been invited to help coach at NFL training camps for the St. Louis Rams, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, Seattle Seahawks and the Baltimore Ravens.
“It’s a sport. It’s not a man’s sport;
it’s a sport.”
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But if other coaches don’t always respect Collette, her players sure do. Veronique Tanasale, a first-year Reign player who came from Las Vegas, chose the team because of Collette.
Collette used to be a drill instructor in the military and every now and again that mentality comes out when she’s coaching. She spent eight years in the Marine Corps and 25 years in the Army. “I’m compassionate, but I like to be very firm.”
Lewis started playing with the Detroit Predators in 2005 and joined the Reign in 2007. Like most of the women on the team, she grew up playing football with brothers and neighborhood boys. “Football was always a part of my life,” she said. “Once you get past the first hit, it’s like, ‘All right! Not a problem!’ That’s why I’m a linebacker, because I like to give the hits.”
“I had her in camp in Vegas, and I had three teams to choose from because I live in Michigan, so I was either going to Detroit or here,” she said.
Maegan Applegate, 30, was nicknamed “Beast” by Collette because of the way she plays.
At 51, Tanasale is the second oldest player on the team of 28 women.
But do they tackle in practice?
- Marabeth Lewis play and I can’t coach at the same time.’ It’s very difficult.”
Marabeth Lewis, 33, is a linebacker and captain and wants to play just as long. “I plan to play as long as my body will let me,” she said.
“Everyone tells me I’m a little old, but as long as I can walk and move and give something to the team, I’m going to keep playing until I’m 60, 70, however long the sport lets me.”
Apparently, they’re the Purple Reign.
“I love tackling; I love surprising people,” she said.
“Oh yeah. We do tackle drills and tackle at 100 percent because we have to prepare the rookies for the hits in the game,” Applegate said. “We might not want to hurt each other, but the other team doesn’t care and they will hit hard. It’s all outlookohio.com
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Coach Mitchi about challenging each other and making us better.”
As tough as they are, the women believe they’re responsible for more Applegate isn’t the only player with a than scoring touchdowns and sacknickname; on the roster you will also ing quarterbacks. They take their find Bugg, Jersey, Jet, Smallz, Holly- jobs as role models for young girls wood and Popeye. seriously. Popeye and Beast have been on the Reign together since its inception. “She’s my PIC. [Partner in Crime],” Kristi “Popeye” Lillie said of Applegate. “We have more of a veteran presence,” Lillie said. “We’ve been there and done that, and I’ve had the most injuries you could possibly have. Lillie, who is on the defensive line, had Tommy John surgery after she tore the ulnar collateral ligament in her elbow last season. She has also torn her meniscus and herniated a disc in her back. And through all the injuries, she keeps coming back. Because it’s fun. “As long as I heal from it, it’s all right.” outlookohio.com
“This is for fun, but it’s still serious to us,” Lewis said. “There are people out there who believe that women should not play; we’re here to prove them wrong. It’s a sport. It’s not a man’s sport, it’s a sport.” Tanasale remembers a time she was asked by a little girl to autograph a flyer.
cially on offense. I know every position on offense, so I know what everyone does on every play.”
stand in for absent players and it evolved from there. One day she was pushing girls in pads over without wearing any herself. I was like, ‘You Clark said this season is her last. might as well go full out - at least She wants to groom someone to take you won’t get hurt that way.’” over her position. Competitiveness sometimes gets in “My kids are getting older, and my the way, according to the couple. body is getting older. It’s just a lot,” she said. “I think this season is a “In drills we can’t go against one crucial season; Coach Mitchi is ex- another,” Blasingim said. “We’ve let cited about the offense we’re going them [the coaches] know that and to run. They didn’t have a quarterthey are pretty good about it. Or if we back and there weren’t many candi- do, I have to have the mindset like, dates. I talked to my kids and they ‘You’re not Brittaney.’ I just have to said, ‘You gotta play one more block it out.” year!’” The Toledo Reign is a family for more While the Reign is not a “lesbian” than just Blasingim and Watson. team, Collette estimates that 75 percent of her team is queer. “I lose Women’s Football half my team for Columbus Pride.” Teams in Ohio
“She ran up to me ... and said, ‘I want to be just like you!’ That felt so good. It’s getting better for the young girls now. They have camps and they’re starting in high school with flag [football].” There is even a couple on the team. Angie Blasingim and Brittaney WatQuarterback Jacki Clark, 44, is coson have been together for six years captain with Lewis and is another and are rookies on the Reign. veteran on the team. Blasingim joined to get out of the house, and Watson planned on “I’m one of the quiet leaders. You being a “Team Mom.” won’t see me jumping and cheering and hootin’ and hollerin’ and “She was actually quite a bit more screaming,” she said. “I’ll pull play- aggressive than I was,” Blasingim ers aside and talk to them, espesaid. “They started asking her to
Lewis’s husband, Billy, is the assistant head coach, special teams coordinator, social media director and general manager; two of Clark’s three sons are the ball boy and game-day operations manager; and Blasingim’s and Watson’s son, Nicholas, attends practice in full gear, ready to help out when he can. But this family is no picnic. “We are serious athletes, and we are out there to play the game of football,” Collette said. “It’s not just women playing around. It’s not the lingerie league, it’s not powder puff. It’s real women, playing real football. We’re here and we’ve been here for a long time.”
Cincinnati Sizzle cincysizzle.wix.com/ cincinnatisizzle
Cleveland Fusion clevelandfusion.com
Columbus Comets columbuscomets.org Toledo Reign theetoledoreign.com
Brett Leonard, a Toledo-born filmmaker, plans to make a movie about the legendary Toledo Troopers.
Toledo Reign 2015 Schedule
April 11 vs Pittsburgh Passion April 18 at Baltimore Nighthawks
April 25 at Detroit Pride
May 2 at Wisconsin Warriors May 16 vs Detroit Pride May 30 vs Baltimore Nighthawks
June 6 at Pittsburgh Passion
June 13 vs Wisconsin Warriors april 2015
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small pond
Wheat Penny Longtime Friends Team Up, Dish Out Dayton Favorites
by Bob Vitale
The two smiling young women perched at the bar have no idea what lies ahead. They’ll put their college days behind them and head to new places. Then they’ll go out West, and they’ll get to know the restaurant business by working in kitchens in San Francisco. They’ll make lots of new friends, and, sadly, they’ll lose many of them to a terrible new disease. They’ll come back to the Midwest and settle down with the loves of their lives. They’ll be separated by distance, but they’ll always share their love of cooking and good food. And distance won’t ever fray their friendship. And one day, they’ll run this place and own this place. Elizabeth Wiley and Liz Valenti are the young women perched at the bar of Wheat Penny, in a framed photo that sits on a shelf above the liquor bottles at the Dayton restaurant that opened in 2013. They were both students at Grinnell College in Iowa when it was taken back in the late ’70s. Now a little less young, they’ve turned their years of cooking and business experience into another successful venture that has become a popular destination in Dayton for foodies, chowhounds and the LGBT community. 20
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Wheat Penny was borne out of Monday pizza nights at Wiley’s other local restaurant, Meadowlark. Both specialize in elevated but not snooty fare: It’s burgers, steaks, chicken, fish, pizza and pasta, just done much, much better.
people we lost in San Francisco.”
with a crispy rice coating - have become a signature. Other vegetables get special treatment as well, most notably a cauliflower Tbone that’s deeply browned and garnished with a salsa of olives, olive oil, garlic, capers, raisins and orange.
“It’s like we were always meant to do this,” Wiley said of their collaboration.
Wiley and Valenti came to Yellow Springs before their move to San Francisco, and Wiley eventually returned. She worked and eventually became a partner at Winds Café. She left in 2004 to open Meadowlark in Dayton and convinced Valenti to come back to Ohio in 2011.
Wiley was a senior and Valenti a freshman when they met at Grinnell. Wiley came from Kansas, and Valenti came from Chicago. “Truth be told, there may have been a little romance in the beginning,” they dish on their website, but it quickly became a much stronger friendship.
Valenti’s love of pizza - it was the first thing she ever made for Wiley back in college - first led to Pizza Mondays at Meadowlark. It was like an ongoing experiment for the concept that grew into Wheat Penny. She enrolled in a pizza school in San Francisco and tested out starters and 20 different flours for her dough.
They worked together in San Francisco in the early ’80s at a popular spot called the Neon Chicken in the heart of the Castro. Then, as now, the restaurant business was a diverse, welcoming haven for LGBT workers. And they arrived just as the burgeoning AIDS crisis mobilized and united gay men and lesbians into a stronger community. It was a thrilling and terrifying time.
The yeast Valenti settled on is from a strain more than 100 years old. The wheat is Manitoba winter wheat. Starters rest for 24 to 48 hours. Dough proofs for 48 hours or more. Toppings include grapes, blue cheese and shoestring onions; shrimp, charred green onions, peanuts and a house-made sriracha; eggplant, broccolini, feta and crispy garlic; as well as pepperoni, roasted peppers, olives and other pizza staples.
“Everyone who worked there was gay,” Wiley said. “The owners insisted it wasn’t a gay restaurant, but the only night all year that we were closed was the Academy Awards.”
A quote from the late Chicago Sun-Times food critic Pat Bruno decorates one wall of Wheat Penny: “Stress Does Not Exist in the Presence of a Pizza.”
Meadowlark 5531 Far Hills Ave, Dayton, 45429 meadowlarkrestaurant.com 937.434.4750
“Our greatest friendships came from that time,” said Valenti, as tears filled her eyes. “It’s very hard to even think about how many
It doesn’t exist in the presence of other Wheat Penny menu items, either. Eggplant fries sliced in planks like steak fries and breaded
Open Tuesdays-Thursdays, 11:30s-9:30p; Fridays-Saturdays, 11:30a-10p; Sundays, 10a-3p
Wheat Penny hosts a brunch the day after Dayton Pride.
“Wiley has the most incredible ability to put foods and flavors together,” Valenti said of her friend’s influence on the restaurants’ menus. “She’s so collaborative. She’s such a teamoriented person,” Wiley said of her friend’s influence on the restaurants. “We keep saying, ‘Why didn’t we do this in our 30s?,’” she said. “But it’s OK because we’re doing fine. We’re doing it now.” Wheat Penny 515 Wayne Ave, Dayton, 45410 wheatpennydayton.com 937.496.5268 Open Mondays-Saturdays, 11a-10p
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Visit outlookohio.com for a chance to win Keyholder 2015 tickets.
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Does this mean beards are out?
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We’re still waiting for caftans to come back.
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Prides in Ohio start in 66 days!
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creative class
A Deep Brew
Black Gay Men Tell Their Stories
in Oberlin Show
by Luke Darby “I always knew I was the neighborhood sissy. Thank goodness I learned how to fight early, because I had to do it often.” “The church is like a safe haven for gay people, you know. People still try and deny it, you know, but the church is full of gay people.” “At that time, I did not know or realize that they had white sissies, because all the ones that I ever saw were on the other side of the track because the railroad used to run way over there. You know, the Southern Railroad, along Canal Street? And the gay bars were all black, just like they got today.” These snippets of black gay life in the South all come from E. Patrick Johnson, a Northwestern University professor of both performance studies and African-American studies, in his acclaimed performance, Pouring Tea. Johnson assumes the voices, diction and mannerisms of gay black men whom he interviewed for his book, Sweet Tea: Black Gay Men of the South - An Oral History. He’ll bring his show to Oberlin College on Thursday, April 23, to kick off a two-day symposium titled, “Performance Ethnography: Exploration in Theory and Practice.” Johnson spoke with men between the ages of 19 and 93 about coming of age, coming out, religion, sex and transgender issues for his book, Sweet Tea. The title is a play on the gay slang for gossip and the cultural prevalence of sweet tea in the South. The regional wordplay is emblematic of the interviews that make up the book and the performance. Victoria Fortuna, a postdoctoral fellow and visiting professor of dance at Oberlin, said Johnson’s performance of the oral histories allows him to embody the men he interviewed and present them in more powerful outlookohio.com
ways than a book can do. Fortuna organized the symposium and is a former student of Johnson. “When I started interviewing the men for the project, a lot of them were really great storytellers. I mean they just really had me captivated,” Johnson said in an interview posted to YouTube. “Then when I started to transcribe the narratives for the book, I determined that a lot of the stories fell flat on the page, and the reader wouldn’t get a sense of how this person sounded, how they put stress on this word or that phrase. And a lot of regions in the South have different dialects. I said there has to be a way I can recreate the interview experience for the reader.” Johnson’s performance will be followed the next day by lectures and performances exploring intercultural research and performance ethnography as global activism. Among the presenters will be experts on ballroom culture, gay Latino nightlife and the Brazilian gay sex industry. Fortuna’s students will present their own in-progress ethnographic work.
“Ethnography as a method originally comes out of anthropology,” Fortuna said. “And it comes out of conducting participant observation and interviews and engaging with the community that you want to learn about over a long-term period.” A classic example of performance ethnography, Fortuna explained, is Anna Deveare Smith’s Fires in the Mirror, a play that came about after race riots in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, in 1991. After extensive interviews with people in the affected communities, Smith created a play of 29 monologues. Performance ethnography tends to focus on subcultures that are often misrepresented or marginally represented. “There’s been a good amount of work in that area, and I think on the whole, performance ethnography tends to address social and political themes around questions of race, sex-
uality and gender. Because of that political bent, LGBT issues have definitely risen to the forefront.” Johnson closes his video interview saying: “One of the things for me that’s so rewarding about doing this performance is to hear people say, ‘Thank you for doing this performance.’ It’s also gratifying for me to hear stories from black gay men who are in the audience who come up to me after the show and say, ‘Thank you for telling my story. Thank you for telling our story.’ It really lets me know that this work means something.” Pouring Tea: Black Gay Men of the South Tell Their Tales
Thursday, April 23 at 7p @ Oberlin College Warner Center, 30 N Professor St, Oberlin, 44074 The performance is free and open to the public.
Johnson also has performed at Denison, Wittenberg, Ohio State and the College of Wooster.
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creative class
Shall We Dance?
‘America’s Ballroom Challenge’ Takes a Twirl in Columbus by Alisa Caton
Meredith and Murphy have been good friends since meeting at a dance event in Dayton more than 30 years ago. Meredith also has worked as a guest choreographer on So You Think You Can Dance?.
ballroom dancing is you can compete at any “I’d never seen anything like that in my life. It age. The competitive nature doesn’t go away.” hit me like lightning bolts. It changed my life,” When people think sports in Columbus, footshe said. ball is the first thing that comes to mind. Meredith co-hosted the first two seasons of What might surprise some is there are no America’s Ballroom Challenge with Marilu Meredith also had an unconventional intropads and pigskin in the arena that draws Henner. He has been a featured performer in duction to dance. competitors and fans from around the globe “When the producers came to me with several Shall We Dance, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights each fall. options of who the co-host would be, I knew and other movies, and he has choreographed When his cousin taught him the Hustle in his Tony and I had the best chemistry,” Murphy for stars such as Vanessa Williams, Megan garage in the 70s, he realized he loved to In its 37th year, the Ohio Star Ball has been said. Mullaley, Matthew Morrison, Jessica Biel and dance. He saw an ad in the paper for a dance called the biggest ballroom dance competition Patrick Stewart. studio that needed an instructor. He decided in the world. And you can watch it on TV start- America’s Ballroom Challenge, which will air to train to be able to take the job. ing April 24, when America’s Ballroom Chal- in three one-hour segments, features four dif- He’s now Danceville, USA’s dance director. He lenge returns to PBS after a six-year hiatus. ferent styles of ballroom: American Smooth, has won the Ohio Star Ball three times and Meredith said he’s honored to be back for the American Rhythm, International Standard and met Michael at one of the Columbus competi- return of America’s Ballroom Challenge. “You wouldn’t think about Columbus, but all International Latin. tions. the high-level professionals show up to this “This is the best ballroom dancing on TV beone. It’s our mecca. Everyone looks forward to Finalists in each category will compete to win Murphy said she feels like she has come full cause it really has the best. It’s the highest going to the Ohio Star Ball each year,” said their style. The four champion couples will circle with the show in her home state. She fell level of dancing and the costuming,” he said. Mary Murphy, a co-host of the show and a for- then compete across styles to be crowned in love with dance instantly during that class mer US ballroom champion. She’s best known America’s best. at Ohio U, and she started learning different America’s Ballroom Challenge will air on PBS as a judge on the Fox series, So You Think You styles after graduation until she was finally in- from April 24to May 8, 9p-10p. Can Dance?. “A lot of these couples have been training for troduced to ballroom. ÂAmericaÊs Ballroom ChallengeÊ 15-20 years,” Meredith said. The location isn’t the only Ohio tie for the “There was no dancing where I grew up. It was Friday, April 24: American show. Murphy is a native of the Canton-area In addition to the professional competition, the more like Footloose!” Murphy joked with the Smooth and American Rhythm, town of Canal Fulton who had never danced show will give a behind-the-scenes look at the infectious laugh that has become her TV 9p. before taking a modern dance elective at Ohio couples preparing for the competition and ex- trademark. Friday, May 1: International University. Co-host Tony Meredith has newhibitions of the children’s and Pro/Am champiStandard, International Latin, found roots in Columbus; the former US Latin ons. That last category, a first-time showing When her instructor invited her to along to see 9p. Dance champion moved to Columbus to be on the PBS program, excites Murphy. the United States Ballroom Championships in with his boyfriend, Keith Michael, who owns New York, the glamour of the competition inFriday, May 8: The champions Danceville, USA, in the Short North. “They are dancing as a hobby and have full- tensified Murphy’s passion for dance. of all four styles compete in the time jobs,” she said. “The great thing about grand finale, 9p. 26
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You can still learn to do the Hustle at Danceville, USA.
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Welcome to Outlook, Stilettos & Lingerie Boutique!
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Arch City has one of the best happy hours in Columbus.
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interview
Ted Talks...and Walks
Food Network Host Lends Home-Grown Star Power to HIV/AIDS Prevention by Orie Givens
Ted Allen, host of the popular Food Network shows Chopped and All Star Academy, loves AIDS walks as a way to raise money for prevention and education. And since both he and his husband, Barry Rice, are from Columbus, this month’s AIDS Walk Ohio is a homecoming. Allen is serving as honorary chair of the event, which this year includes walks in Columbus and Toledo on Saturday, April 18, and a walk in Dayton on Sunday, April 19. All are organized by AIDS Resource Center Ohio, and money raised will go toward ARC Ohio’s treatment, testing and prevention services. Orie Givens: Let’s talk 2015 AIDS Walk Ohio. Can you tell me how you came to be the honorary chair? Ted Allen: Yes, they reached out to me if and asked if I would come to town and encourage more people to be “grand walkers” - people to raise more than $1,000. When you incentivize that, you tend to drive other people to follow their example, and that’s who these walkers are. And it sounded like a good idea to me. OG: How often do you get to visit? TA: My parents got transferred to Indianapolis in ’72, but my husband’s parents still live in Columbus. Coincidentally, we both just happen to be from there. So we get back at least once a year, and we go antiquing in the Short North and German Village. We always go to Katzinger’s for lunch. So it’s a regular thing for us. OG: The Columbus food scene has had a lot outlookohio.com
of growth with a focus on creative, locally sourced menus. What are your thoughts? TA: With all the resources that you have Columbus is a city in the dead center of a state full of farms. Great, incredible pork and incredible vegetable products. In fact, just a few months ago I was at the Culinary Vegetable Institute, just 40 miles or so west of Cleveland, where they grow incredible, incredible exotic produce and ship it all over the world, Incredibly expensive, too, but just crazy weird, interesting beautiful things right out of Ohio. What a perfect place to have people doing beautiful farm-to-table natural cooking with farms right over there. OG: Tell me about the new show on Food Network, All Star Academy? TA: I have four mentors who are amazing, internationally famous, expert chefs - Curtis Stone, Alex Guarnaschelli, Bobby Flay and Michael Symon - who serve as mentors to a group of home cooks, who all are pretty skilled themselves but they’re not professionals. So you get the expertise of those great chefs, you get the drama and the relateability of the home cooks who are just like someone next door. And you get an eight-week competition that every day we shot it, I was like, “Wow!” Something super dramatic happens in each episode. And the ratings have been great and the response has been great, so hopefully we’ll make more of those. OG: I would, personally, like to have Curtis Stone come and cook in my house and help me learn how to cook. That would be amazing. TA: Really? Is that because of your interest in
Curtis’ cooking skills?
AIDS WALK OHIO
OG: I mean, we could say that ... we could definitely say that it’s about his ... cooking. Sure. TA: [Laughing] It’s a sexy cast, no doubt about it.
Visit aidswalkohio.com to register, contribute or volunteer.
OG: And Michael Symon is a fellow Ohioan… TA: Yea! Michael Symon is a damn sexy beast himself. OG: Yes! TA: Such talented people, I mean, it’s just so much fun to watch what they can do in this short amount of cooking time. OG: So before we go, there is a special brunch, I hear, with you some of the high fundraisers. Will there be selfies? TA: I’m not sure, but I think I’m taking pictures with the Grand Walkers. The goal is to get as much money as possible for more prevention and education. And you know the issue is trying to fight complacency, because the younger generation of gays now did not see what happened within the original epidemic when it was an automatic death sentence. And it’s not just LGBT people either; HIV/AIDS is predominantly affecting people of color, especially women of color, which is changing the face of the battle. And younger people, particularly, are still getting infected every day. So the work isn’t done.
Columbus Saturday, April 18 at 9a @ McFerson Commons, 218 West St, Columbus, 43215 Events: 5K run, 5K and 1-mile walks Fundraising goal: $300,000 Toledo Saturday, April 18 at 9a @ International Park, 26 Main St, Toledo, 43605 Events: 5K run, 5K and 1-mile walks Fundraising goal: $70,000 Dayton Sunday, April 19 at 10a @ UD River Campus, 1700 Patterson Blvd, Dayton, 45469 Events: 5K run, 5K and 1-mile walks, 16-mile bike ride Fundraising goal: $115,000
5K FOR AIDS Visit caracole.org to register, contribute or volunteer. Cincinnati Sunday, April 19 at 9a @ Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum, 4521 Spring Grove Ave, Cincinnati, 45232
There’s much more to this interview online at outlookohio.com.
Please help the HIV/AIDS service organizations in your part of Ohio.
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interview
rave of thrones A Word With Hodor: Kristian Nairn Returns to His Roots With DJ Tour
by Erin McCalla Outlook spoke with Kristian Nairn about music, his life as a DJ, Game of Thrones and his status as a bear icon, and here’s what he had to say: “Hodor, hodor, hodor... hodor? Hodor. Hodorhodorhodor. Hodor.” Actually, the openly gay actor who plays the hulking yet sweet, mono-word speaking, Brancarrying Hodor on HBO’s Game of Thrones, spoke hundreds of words with us. And, actually, not one was Hodor. Nairn will stop in Columbus at Park Street Saloon on Tuesday, April 14, as part of his Rave of Thrones tour. The six-week DJ’ing tour will take him from the UK to LA and back again. He’ll also be in Pittsburgh on Thursday, April 16. Erin McCalla: What came first: music or acting? Kristian Nairn: I’ve been involved in music since I was a very young child; acting definitely came later. It’s interesting to me because when I got the [Game of Thrones] role, the questions were, “So you’re a DJ and musician, do you think you can handle acting?” And now as the show has grown, people forget that you had a life and career before! It’s just the way it works though.
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EM: How do you describe your set? KN: Bass heavy, chunky house music, I guess! EM: Were you kind of excited that Bran and Hodor’s storyline wasn’t included in the upcoming Season 5 because you got the opportunity to pursue DJing? KN: I was both excited and a little sad. It’s like a big family on GoT and it’s been weird not being involved and seeing everyone regularly. EM: Obviously you aren’t shying away that you play Hodor on GoT with the title of your tour have any of the other GoT cast members attended your sets? KN: They have. Finn Jones [Ser Loras Tyrell] and Dan Portman [Podrick Payne] have definitely been to a few. [laughs.] You definitely see the odd face pop up and it’s always wonderful to see them. They are great at hiding in plain sight in the crowd when a lot of people have dressed up. EM: You’re an icon in the bear community, and everyone knows how... enthusiastic Game of Thrones fans are. Do you get more GoT fans or bears at your shows? KN: I don’t know about that! I would never think of myself that way. I’m just happy anyone is even remotely interested in what I am doing. The crowds genuinely are a real mix of people! The house fan music contingency has definitely
grown since the beginning of the tour, and that pleases me greatly. I love seeing people from so many different social groups come together and party. EM: You were in Cleveland in December, and you will be in Columbus in April. Do you get much a chance to enjoy the cities while on tour? Is there something you like experience or do in each city you visit? KN: I often joke that I’m going to write guidebooks to the world’s hotels and airports. I don’t really see much at all unless I have a two- or three-day stop, which is rare. EM: What DJs have inspired you? What musicians are you listening to now? KN: People like Eric Prydz, Green Velvet, Danny Tenaglia have been very influential for me. My taste in DJs goes right across the board from spacey, floaty techno to main room house or trance. EM: Speaking of trance, I think you do such a fantastic job of conveying emotion as Hodor, especially since you only get one word to speak. It has to be hard to do! Tell me a little about your acting background. KN: It definitely has its challenging moments but it’s really dependent on the scene. My background is more in love performance and some cabaret-style work. Strangely, acting, live performance, and DJing and music work all feel Hodor.
the same to me. I guess it’s just a performance area of my brain. xxxxx
EM: Were you a fan of George R.R. Martin’s novels before auditioning for Hodor? Have you read them all? KN: No, I wasn’t; I hadn’t heard of the books at all. My mom is a prolific reader, though, and she nearly fainted when I told her what I was auditioning for. [Laughs.] EM: Have you done a Comic Con? Do you have any interest? KN: I have done many, many comic cons from the end of the earth and back again. Being a geek myself, it’s like being in paradise; I always make sure that I over-pack though, so that I have no room to spend cash on merchandise!
Rave of Thrones
Tuesday, April 14 at 8p @ Park Street Saloon 525 N Park St, Columbus, 43215 Tickets: $20 through woodlandsproductions.com.
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deep inside hollywood by Romeo San Vicente
Another First for Cox in Courtroom Drama
Rashad, Raven-Symoné Both Take Lesbian Roles
She was the first trans actor nominated for an Emmy for Orange Is the New Black. And now Laverne Cox can lay claim to another bit of queer history by being the first trans actor cast in a major network TV program.
Two women from The Cosby Show have new jobs as lesbian characters on two different shows. Phylicia Rashad, the former Clair Huxtable, will star as a lesbian FBI agent working in the Justice Department in the pilot for the new CBS drama, For Justice. And to add a little more prestige to the mix, it’ll be directed by acclaimed filmmaker Ava DuVernay (Selma).
Doubt, the upcoming CBS drama, will feature Cox as a transgender attorney opposite stars KaDee Strickland and Dreama Walker. It’s important to understand how significant this is, because for years it has been routine to cast non-trans actors in trans roles, as though Meanwhile, Raven-Symoné, Cosby’s later-seatrans actors simply did not exist. son MVP and star of That’s So Raven, will appear on ABC’s Black-ish as Anthony Don’t get us wrong: Eddie Redmayne is going Anderson’s lesbian sister who’s not entirely to be fine in that upcoming film where he plays comfortable talking about her sexual orientaa trans woman. But there’s no going back and tion. pretending that actors like him are the only casting choice, and we have bold people like SuperheroesÊ Worlds Cox to thank for that. Now take this thing to a series order, CBS.
Madonna Working On Yet Another Screenplay
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Collide in CW Series
Superheroes have more or less effectively replaced cowboys as the most popular vehicle for acting out American myths and communicating values about good and evil.
A while back we told you about Madonna’s latest filmmaking effort, Adé: A Love Story, which If you weren’t aware of that fact then you haven’t been to a movie theater in a while, nor is to be based on Rebecca Walker’s novel of have you been paying much attention to TV, bethe same name. cause their numbers are proliferating there, too. Will it still happen? Will it not? That’s for the development people to decide. And now, if the fans are lucky, two of their favorites are going to spawn. That’s because the But while she’s waiting for production money and other puzzle pieces to fall into place, and CW is planning to take characters from Arrow presumably in between rehearsals for her up- and The Flash to create a new series that coming Rebel Heart tour, Ms. Ciccone also will would integrate those two worlds, while, ostensibly, allowing the actors to continue on their be working on a screenplay for another book she hopes to take to the screen, The Impossi- respective shows. ble Lives of Greta Wells. The as-yet-untitled pilot will star Brandon The novel by Andrew Sean Greer, optioned by Routh (Arrow’s Ray Palmer/The Atom) and gay actors Victor Garber (Flash’s Dr. Martin Stein) Madonna in 2013, concerns a woman whose and Wentworth Miller (Flash’s Leonard gay twin brother dies of an AIDS-like illness, Snart/Captain Cold). It also will, presumably, which pushes her into electroshock therapy allow other characters from those shows, as and time travel - hence, that word “impossiwell as any old DC Comics characters who feel ble” in the title. like dropping in (hello, Batman and/or Wonder As for Madonna’s abilities behind the camera, Woman and/or non-Routh Superman) to show up and kick some ass for truth, justice and the both of her previous films received bad reviews, but the progression of her abilities from American Way. Filth and Wisdom to W.E. is striking. More details as they develop. This proves, if nothing else, that she doesn’t Romeo San Vicente’s Aquaman obsession has yet to be give up - even after she falls - and she’s not indulged by any film or TV show, and this feels unfair. He afraid of a public learning curve. So let’s watch can be reached at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com. where she goes next.
Wednesday night is gay night on ABC.
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Backyard Getaway Hueston Woods Lodge
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trippin’ out
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Mountain Biking Trails
Hueston Woods Bridge
Hueston Woods, Oxford Offer a Quick Escape by Aaron Leventhal
My restless spirit was first nurtured in the 1960s when I left my hometown of Cleveland Heights for Miami University and the small college town of Oxford, Ohio. Soon tiring of chugging 3.2 beer, observing the Greeks parading across campus and the rural isolation of Southwestern Ohio, I transferred to Ohio State the following year, and the good times I experienced as a Buckeye continue to this day. But I have returned often to the Oxford area for the rustic pleasures of Hueston Woods State Park, with its 3,000 acres of exquisite natural beauty and cozy rustic cabins. Beth and I packed a few small bags recently and enjoyed a relaxing weekend getaway at Hueston Woods in a fully furnished, two-bedroom cabin. We explored wooded hiking trails, forded streams, played games and on several occasions visited Oxford, only a 10minute drive away. I was pleased to see the town has morphed into a lively and sophisticated gay-friendly community since my college days. President George Washington mandated a college be developed northwest of the Ohio River, and in 1809 the Ohio General Assembly established Miami University. With its Georgian architecture, both the campus and the town take on a graceful New England ambiance. 34
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It’s a nice stroll across campus, past the Beta Tower Bells to the Miami University Museum with its angular limestone and glass façade and its noted American art collection. At Yager Stadium, football aficionados will enjoy the “Cradle of Coaches,” a memorabilia room saluting coaching greats such as Woody Hayes, Paul Brown, Ara Parseghian and Bo Schembechler, who got their starts at Miami. Other local attractions include the McGuffey Museum and Oxford Community Arts Center. Of special interest are three self-guided historical walking tours, which can be found online at enjoyoxford.org/thingsto-do/history.
The Hueston Woods Lodge, in College Corner, is a modest 92-room resort hotel with a casual atmosphere and tasteful Native American motif. It’s surrounded by 10 miles of hiking trails and perched on a vista overlooking the 625-acre, placid Acton Lake. Most rooms feature private balconies with a great view of the lake and woods.
Uptown Oxford is a sophisticated, gayfriendly community with excellent attractions and dining. photo: Oxford Visitors Bureau
Oxford has dozens of boutiques, collegiate trinket shops, clothing stores, fine restaurants and, of course, loads of college diners, bars and cafés. We enjoyed dining at Kona Bistro (31 W High St) for fresh salads, sandwiches, pastas and seafood; the iconic Mac & Joe’s (21 E High St), a legendary college tavern; and MIA (75 S Main) for Italian specialties. Other recommended eateries include Bagel & Deli Shop (199 E High), Krishna (28 W High) for Indian food and Stella (12 S Beech), for upscale dining.
Hueston Woods is available for wedding ceremonies and receptions for all couples, according to Ohio Department of Natural Resources spokeswoman Heidi Hetzel-Evans. Republican lawmakers won’t allow same-sex couples to host their receptions or ceremonies at the Ohio Statehouse in Columbus, but state parks have an inclusive policy.
The lodge’s facilities also include an indoor pool, game room, the Trailblazer Dining Room and the Johnny Appleseed Lounge, a sports bar that serves delicious pizza, sandwiches, beer, wine and alcohol. Beth and are I partial to the delicious weekend breakfast buffet in the dining room. When weather permits, there are lighted outdoor tennis courts, a boat marina, an 18-hole golf course, an outdoor pool and nearby horse stables.
Try the Blonde Bombshell or the Wam-O at Bagel & Deli.
A mile from the lodge, tucked deeply into the wooded landscape, are several dozen oneand two-bedroom wood-paneled cottages, all with central heating, fully equipped kitchens, cable TV, gas fireplaces, blankets, linens and bath towels. We appreciated the extra amenities such as free Wifi, coffee maker and microwave. Fees: Lodge rooms are listed at $139 a night. Winter specials include a free night when two nights are booked at full rate. Cabins range in price from $99-189 a night depending on the size of the cabin and the days booked (weekends are more expensive). There’s also a 16 percent lodging tax. Travel writer Aaron Leventhal is based in Columbus. He leads tours throughout the year. For more information go to leventhaltravel.com.
Hueston Woods State Park Located in Butler and Preble counties, Hueston Woods State Park has nearly 3,000 acres for hiking, fishing, canoeing and fossil hunting. The park surrounds 625-acre Acton Lake, with campsites, cabins and a resort lodge. parks.ohiodnr.gov/huestonwoods
huestonwoodslodge.com 513.664.3500 Oxford Visitors Bureau enjoyoxford.com 513.523.8687
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Fun fact: Andrea McArdle played Annie in the show’s Broadway debut.
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the other side
There is
a Place For You
You’ll Find It, and You’ll Fit In - Just Don’t Give Up by James Blackmon
In February, I wrote about how becoming a part of my local community theater at 12 years old saved my life. That’s a true story. Before being cast in my first play, I didn’t fit in. Anywhere. I wasn’t any good at ball-related sports, and although I could run really fast and was on the swim team (yes, black people can swim - and I was good, too), I had no interest in sports. I was nerdy and “gifted,” but I didn’t really feel at home with the braniacs.
been feeling incredibly depressed about it, too, until I discovered a place where I actually fit in. The theater was a place where being gay was a non-issue and where I got to do what I would eventually learn is why I was created - to perform. So, fortunately for me, it all worked out. But what if I had no talent? Or what if I’d never made it to that first audition? Which, by the way, almost happened. I’d chickened out and decided I wasn’t going to go. Dad encouraged me to do it, though, and took me to the audition.
I was already playing piano for church by then, but I didn’t fit in at church, either. Of But what if he’d been unable to convince me course I didn’t. I was to go? I’m positive that raised in the South in reason Sometimes it’s ifI’dfornotwhatever the black Baptist been in that not enough to play, my life would church. By the time I was 12, I’d heard nuhave turned out comknow that a merous anti-gay serpletely different. And, better life mons and, strangely, most likely, not for the not one pro-gay serbetter. exists. For mon. some, just Even with theater in My first gay memory surviving until my life, living in Alawas at 5 years old. I rein the 1970s they make it to bama member walking and ’80s was really that better through the YMCA tough for me. I almost men’s locker room and didn’t survive it. Looklife is the being intoxicated by all ing back on it now, struggle. It the sights and smells. some 35 years later, Naked guys were I’m so lucky to have was for me. everywhere, and the had theater in my life, locker room smelled because it was always like testosterone. I didn’t exactly understand my refuge. No matter how depressed I got, at those feelings, but then again, sure I did. least I had that. By 12, I’d known I was gay for years, and I’d 36
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But what about all the little gay boys and les-
James Blackmon (last year)
bians who never found their safe haven? Never found somewhere to fit in. What happened to them? Did they ever find a place to feel “normal”?
can expose young gay kids to a world that exists where they finally fit in, it also has facilitated numerous teen suicides because of social media attacks.
You’d think in 2015, kids wouldn’t have to go through what so many of us had to endure back in the day. These were the days before Ellen, Will & Grace, The Real World and other shows that showed our lives and our community. In 1989, ABC lost about $1.5 million when advertisers from the series Thirtysomething withdrew their commercials just because a storyline showed two gay men in bed together in an implied post-coitus conversation. The scene contained neither nudity nor physical contact.
Sometimes it’s not enough to know that a better life exists. For some, just surviving until they make it to that better life is the struggle. It was for me.
But even in 2015, with all our advances toward equality and increased visibility (out gay men and lesbians are everywhere now TV, music, movies, sports, politics, the clergy), there are gay kids still struggling with parents, their church and the communities in which they’re growing up. And in this age of cyber-bullying, access to the Internet is a double-edged sword. While it
The Trevor Project is available 24 hours a day: 1.866.488.7386.
So if you’re a gay teen struggling with life and reading this online, HANG IN THERE. PLEASE! It really does get better. You will find where you belong. It doesn’t have to be fashion, theater or drag. But you’ll find it. Allow yourself the opportunity to enjoy life free from all the shit you’re experiencing right now. Just please don’t give up. I did it one day at a time. You can too. James Blackmon is a musician, actor, director and former owner of James Club 88 in Columbus. You can follow him on Twitter at @MrJamesBlackmon. The Other Side runs every other month in Outlook. outlookohio.com
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Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
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dyke like me
Let’s Dump the Gold Star Standard by Brooke Cartus
It happens to all femmes. You’re out, you meet a cute butch and think, YAAAAAAAAS. You’re A few weeks ago, my mom came to town. Al- probably at a bar where sleeves are optional or ways donned in some sort of flowing pants downright discouraged or maybe you’re about suit and draped in scarves, she floats through to down a Fireball shot you will almost immethe world in a way that can only be described diately regret and you both start talking. as awesome. And it comes up: the gold-star lesbian thing. I have come out to my Mom approximately five She’ll say something like, “Well, I’ve never times. She struggled with it in the beginning, been with a dude so I don’t know.” She’ll try to and, frankly, so did I. A strict Catholic upbring- be casual about it, but your silence speaks ing coupled with the uncanny ability of my en- volumes. tire family to avoid sharing made for a potent combination of drama when I came out at 21. In case you don’t know (read: aren’t a lesbian), a “gold star” refers to a lesbian who has never My mom has come around to the idea, and, in had sex with a man. If you don’t know what her defense, I didn’t just come out as gay. I lesbian means, I’m not sure why you’re readcame out as bisexual, then gay, then pansex- ing this... but look at you, educating yourself! ual, then queer, and she did her best to keep The gold-star standard varies from town to up. I have dated cis men, trans men and cis town, but generally, handjobs don’t count. women and am always more than willing to Who counts handjobs for anybring them home to thing? meet her. Hell, who She has had a 10even year crash course in gives queer politics and handjobs has lived to tell the past juntale. ior high? OK, THAT Between day-drinkWAS ONE ing chardonnay and TIME IN COLdoing some serious LEGE. décor shopping at Home Goods, Mom Many butch women wear and I hopped around this gold star as a badge of town making honor, and they are usually chitchat. “How’s the accompanied with stories weather at home?” about coming out of the and “Jessica’s pregwomb throwing a fastnant again!” and pitch softball. And someother mundane small times, the lesbian talk. But after a few community can judge too many glasses of women who have dated/are wine, we started dating/sometimes gave talking about relahandjobs in college to cis tionships over dinner. men.
We like a sturdy lady man who can lift us up with one arm and make us feel tiny after eating three slices of meat lover’s pizza. We like it when you get mistaken for a man at our favorite suburban taco chain. We even like it when you run late for our dinner plans because your softball game ran a little late and you crushed it sliding into home. And I mean... crushed it.
Anyway, what year is it again? It’s 2015, and gender is a social construction. And you can dress how you want and f*@# who you want and identify HOWEVER AND WHICHEVER WAY YOU WANT. So the next time you buy a lady a drink and she has an ex-boyfriend, don’t immediately recoil back to the game of billiards your friends totally started so you would have an excuse to talk to her.
And let’s face it... you kind of like us too. Let Because let’s face it, great sex is tough to find. me let you in on a little secret: How do you And who knows? You can find it in the most think we learned how to handle your strap-on? unexpected places. Do you think that thing is just like riding a bike? A big glittery bike attached to a leather Brooke Cartus is a Chapstick lesbian harness? It’s not. Just because you are queer attending law school at Ohio State. To hear about the latest in LGBT news, doesn’t mean you are born with the skills to diet tips and fashion trends involving handle one of those things. They are unwieldy cargo shorts, check out her blog, Size L for Lady, at brookecartus.com/category/blog. and rarely come with instructions.
Many butch women wear this gold star as a badge of honor, and they are usually accompanied with stories about coming out of the womb throwing a fast pitch softball.
I blurted out, “I’m But here’s my question for just sick of these butches out there: Why do gold-star lesbians.” you think femmes have She stared at me. The next half-hour was one been with cis men? It’s because we like our of the most interesting conversations we have women like straight girls like their men… ever had, and it made me start to think about LOOKING LIKE MEN. lesbians. A LOT. 38
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Going Deep
complete the circuit
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by Mickey Weems In Texas, you cannot own more than six. In Arizona, two per home is the limit. In Alabama, they can only be bought for medical or educational purposes. In Jamaica, it is against the law to build a fence made with them. Such is the concern over dildos, love-missiles that some people fear could destroy humanity, that governments feel the need to regulate or even ban them. But dildos are beloved tools of the trade for sex enthusiasts, especially for same-sex love. In fact, the dildo is a bridge that unites lesbians and gay men. Still, they create such moral panic in conservatives all over the world that they are often advertised as something other than erotic implements. There is real reluctance among people to discuss exactly what itch a dildo is designed to scratch, hence the “massage wand” label and pictures with models using them on their backs. Most people of whatever orientation, however, agree that dildos are humorous, perhaps because the TSA finding one during a luggage search in an airport or shopping for one in a specialty store brings a person’s sex life into the public eye. Who Wants What To learn more about dildos and their fans, I reached out to somebody with dildo-selling experience. Erin McLaughlin is the “adult buyer” for The Garden, Chamber and Joint in Columbus. “I’m the one who gets to buy all the fun toys for adults,” she said, and then gave me the dish on the dildo business: • The Garden’s top-selling toys for years have been bulletstyle vibrators. They’re small, usually inexpensive and have multiple uses. McLaughlin said about 50 different toys could be included in the category, including a model with 20 settings. • Lesbians are buying mostly female harnesses where they put in the dildos. “Not so much the double dildos,” she said. “Lesbian scissor fights are so out - just kidding!” • Gay boys buy the biggest dildos. “In the beginning, they start with a mini-plug, and three years later they are taking the Great American Challenge [15½ inches].” • Straight couples are the biggest clientele. “I feel bad for those couples that come down and the guy thinks that the toy is going to replace him. I tell them, ‘It’s got a controller, right? Take control!” • “What has come as a surprise is the increase in straight couples exploring anal sex, both for her and him. Nothing more satisfying than helping that cute suburban couple pick out pegging gear!”
• Today’s gigglers are often tomorrow’s customers. “Young college-aged ladies come in with a group of their friends and point at all the toys, even the cute pink ones, and yell, “Ew, gross!,” then come in the next day by themselves and buy the toy they were ew’ing. I get it that the subject matter can be embarrassing, but doing that screams, “I am soooo coming in tomorrow and getting that pink butt plug.” Dildos and World Peace Conservatives can’t handle dildos because they invoke thoughts of a penis as fun. On the other hand, their penisphobia does not extend to dildo-shaped things that kill. They often have a hard-on for phallic-shaped things like bullets, rocket launchers and missiles that destroy rather than give pleasure. Just as they believe a man’s penis certifies his right to rule over women, they believe a nation’s weapons certify its right to dominate another. This is why warmongers often have problems with LGBT people and our allies. For them, sex is only for reproduction and male superiority. Not for us! A penis is not a means for establishing dominance over uppity women and other enemies of civilization. It is an organ for pleasure that, incidentally, can also be used for procreation. Our open-minded acceptance of artificial penises as well as living ones reflects our celebration of the erotic in its many forms, many of which do not include making babies. We will be so much closer to world peace when people consider a bomb more obscene than a dildo.
Mickey Weems is a writer, educator and creator of the Qualia Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife. You can follow him at mickeyweems.com or qualiafolk.com, or email him at mickeyweems@yahoo.com. Complete the Circuit runs every other month in Outlook.
Fun Facts Here are some interesting things about dildos that make for a great conversation at the family dinner table - or maybe not: • Obsession with dildos is not limited to humans. Porcupines are especially fond of using sticks to pleasure themselves, and orangutans make dildos out of wood and bark. • The oldest one on record is 28,000 years old. • Sometimes a dildo is in the eye of the beholder. A giant inflatable art piece supposedly representing a Christmas tree in Paris was labeled obscene for resembling a butt-plug, then deflated by an anonymous vigilante. In Britain and the USA, Play-Doh was recently criticized for creating a toy that looked a bit too dildoesque. april 2015
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Out & About
THURSDAY, APRIL 30 Hard Candy With Trixie Mattel @ The Cabaret, 1122 Walnut St, Cincinnati, 45202; 513.202.4052; cabaretcincinnati.com: The ongoing series of drag shows features RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7 contestant Trixie Mattel, Season 4’s The Princess and Cincinnati’s own Penny Tration. 9p; $15-$20 (tables for $80-$120). Indigo Girls April 19 CINCINNATI / SOUTHWEST
COLUMBUS / CENTRAL THURSDAY, APRIL 9 SUNDAY, APRIL 26 Short North Stage Presents: A Chorus Line @ Garden Theater, 1187 N High St, Columbus, 43201; 614.725.4042; shortnorthstage.org: What better way to end a theater season than with that finale of the 1970s classic? You can see the musical on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays over three weeks. 8p (Thu-Sat) or 3p (Sun); $25-$40. SUNDAY, APRIL 12 An Evening With David Sedaris @ the Ohio Theatre, 55 E State St, Columbus, 43215; 614.469.0939; capa.com: The humorist celebrates the release of Let’s Talk Diabetes With Owls with readings, recollections and a Q&A. 7p; $40-$60.
FRIDAY, APRIL 10 Lesbian Spring Dance @ Marriott Hotel, 9664 S Mason Montgomery Rd, Mason, 45040; FB: Spring Dance at the Marriott Hotel: More than 250 women attended the last dance. It’s an event for singles or couples, and the night includes speed-dating, dancing, a cash bar and free appetizers. The hotel has discounted rooms if you want to stay the night. 8p-12:30a; $15 at the door ($20 if you’re taking part in speed-dating). SATURDAY, APRIL 11 Prom and Safe Space Soiree @ Cincinnati Club, 30 Garfield Place, Suite 1040, Cincinnati, 45202; 866.934.9119; glsen.org/chapters/cincinnati: The prom for LGBTQPIA and their allies (theme: Hollywood goth) is open to 13- to 20-year-olds, while the Safe Space Soiree for adults (theme: 1950s and ’60s swank) is in another space at the Cincinnati Club. Both support GLSEN. 7p-11p; $10 for prom attendees out of high school but under 21, $85 for adult event.
CLEVELAND-AKRON / NORTHEAST WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1 THURSDAY, APRIL 30 Herb Ritts: The Rock Portraits @ the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1100 Rock and Roll Blvd, Cleveland, 44114; 216.781.ROCK; rockhall.com: Check out the late photographer’s iconic gay and celebrity images 10a-5:30p (open until 9p on Wednesdays); $22 ($18 for Cleveland area residents). FRIDAY, APRIL 10 SATURDAY, APRIL 11 Circle JJ Ranch Opening Weekend @ Circle JJ Ranch, 1104 Amsterdam Rd, Scio, 43988; 330.627.3101; circlejjranch.com: The gay campground in Harrison County opens for the 2015 season. Opening weekend includes a welcome-back brunch on Saturday and an Easter bonnet party. $15 day pass or night pass, plus $18-$110 for camping or cabins.
MONDAY, APRIL 13 NO H8 Photo Shoot @ The Westin Cincinnati, 21 SATURDAY, APRIL 18 East 5th St, Cincinnati, 45202; Central Ohio AIDS Walk @ McFerson Commons, noh8campaign.com: Wear a white shirt, apply a 218 West St, Columbus, 43215; 614.340.6768; SATURDAY, APRIL 11 temporary NO H8 tattoo and join the worldwide aidswalkohio.com: AIDS Walk, walking for AIDS! 9a. awareness effort to promote civil rights. 5p-8p; $40 White Party 2015 @ Interbelt, 70 N Howard St, Akron, 44310; 330.253.5700; interbelt.com: The ($25 per person for group photos). annual Akron white party features DJ Shane Stiel SATURDAY, APRIL 18 Dana Goldberg @ Wall Street, 144 N Wall St, from LA, DJ Scott Robert from Orlando and Ohio’s MONDAY, APRIL 13 Columbus, 43215; 614.464.2800; wallstreetnight- An Evening With David Sedaris @ Music Hall, hottest dancers. clubandshowbar.com: Local comic and Outlook 1241 Elm St, Cincinnati 45202; 513. 621.ARTS; columnist Brooke Cartus opens for Dana Goldberg, cincinnatiarts.org: The humorist celebrates the re- SATURDAY, APRIL 12 once voted one of the five funniest lesbians in SUNDAY, APRIL 13 lease of Let’s Talk Diabetes With Owls. Readings, America. 8p; $15. North Coast Men’s Chorus: Deliciously Wicked: A recollections and a Q&A. 7:30p; $40.75- $53.25. Broadway Revue @ Regina Auditorium, Notre Dame College, 1857 S Green Rd, South Euclid, SUNDAY, APRIL 19 SUNDAY, APRIL 19 Central Ohio Prime Timers Sunday Brunch @ 5K for AIDS @ Spring Grove Cemetery and Arbore- 44121; 216.556.0590; ncmchorus.org: The chorus OSU Golf Course, 3605 Tremont Rd, Columbus, sings and dances its way through the music of tum, 4521 Spring Grove Ave, Cincinnati, 45232; 43221; 614.885.0846; primetimersww.com/copt: Broadway, from hits to rare gems. Songs are from 513.619.1483; caracole.org: The annual run/walk It’s a new event for the social group for mature gay raises money for HIV/AIDS services throughout Pippin, Kinky Boots, Wicked and more. 8p Saturday and bi men. 11a-1:30p; $13.95. Southwest Ohio. Sign up, volunteer, and/or donate and 3p Sunday; $10-$35. at Caracole’s website. 9a-11a; $25. SUNDAY, APRIL 19 MONDAY, APRIL 13 National Leather Association-Columbus Discus- SUNDAY, APRIL 19 Akron Film+Pride: Getting Go @ The Nightlight, sion: 50 Shades of Consent @ Stonewall Colum- Indigo Girls, Cincinnati Pops and MUSE: Cincin30 N High St, Akron, 44308; 330.252.1559; bus, 1160 N High St, Columbus, 43201; canapi.org: The LGBT film series continues with nati Women’s Choir @ Music Hall, 1241 Elm St, 614.404.7521; nlacolumbus.com: What does con- Cincinnati, 45202; 513.381.3300; cincinnatisym- Getting Go, about a film student and his relationsent mean to you? What does it mean to your part- phony.org: Amy Ray and Emily Saliers make their ship with a male dancer. 7p; $10. ner? Are they the same? How do you work through first Cincinnati Pops appearance, and they’re all of this and keep yourself safe, sane, and conSATURDAY, APRIL 18 joined by the 60-plus members of the Cincinnati sensual? 2p-4p; $5 suggested donation. Mr. North East Ohio Bear Contest @ Cocktails Women’s Choir. 7p; $25-$85.
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Sign up for our weekly event newsletter at outlookohio.com.
Akron, 1009 S Main St, Akron, 44311; 330.376.2625; arktosbear.org: May the furriest man win. 9p. THURSDAY, APRIL 23 Case Western Reserve University LGBT Research Symposium @ Tinkham Veale University Center Ballroom A, 11038 Bellflower Rd, Cleveland, 44106; qgradrsvp@case.edu; FB: QGrad: Students and faculty from all fields will present their work, and prizes and awards will be offered. Noon-4p. THURSDAY, APRIL 23SUNDAY, APRIL 26 CLAW 15 @ Holiday Inn Cleveland South, 6001 Rockside Rd, Independence, 44131; clawinfo.org: The annual leather and fetish weekend includes BDSM speed-dating, a boots and cigar party, a kinky muscle boy party, a pup mosh pit party, vendors, workshops, and more. $149 ($75 for volunteers), but some events have separate entry fees. FRIDAY, APRIL 24 SATURDAY, APRIL 25 Freedom Valley Campground Opening Weekend @ Freedom Valley Campground, 1875 US 250 S, New London, 44851; 419.929.8100; freedomvalleycamping.com: The gay campground in Huron County opens to the public for the 2015 season. $12 day pass or night pass, plus $17-$120 for camping, cabin or trailers. SATURDAY, APRIL 25 Dare 2 Care Gala: 50 Years of Change @ Tudor Arms Hotel-Doubletree, 10660 Carnegie Ave, Cleveland, 44106; 216.374.6007; dare2careusa.org: A night of fashion, dance, music and more will celebrate 50 years of progress on civil rights for all. 6:30p; $125-$200. TUESDAY, APRIL 28 Bianca Del Rio’s Rolodex of Hate Tour @ the Ohio Theatre, 1511 Euclid Ave, Cleveland, 44115; 216.241.6000; playhousesquare.org: Not today, Satan! The Season 6 winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race is taking her comedy on the road. She’ll also perform in Columbus on May 1. 8p; $39.50-$83.
The Rubi Girls @ Love Big April 26 DAYTON / WEST TUESDAY, APRIL 7 Love Wins Day @ Sinclair Community College, Blair Hall Theatre, 444 W 3rd St, Dayton, 45402; FB: Love Wins Day!!: Mayor Nan Whaley is proclaiming it Love Wins Day in Dayton, and Sinclair’s Campus Pride group is celebrating. There’s a showing of the Rubi Girls documentary, the premier of the school’s It Gets Better video, a panel discussion, information about LGBT groups and more. 6p.
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SATURDAY, APRIL 18 PFLAG Ohio State Conference @ Wingate by Windham Hotel, 3055 Presidential Dr, Fairborn, 45324; 937.640.3333; pflagdayton.org: Sessions include LGBT books in schools, a talk by PFLAG’s national policy director, and presentations by educators and others. Educators can receive seven contact hours. 8a-3:45p; $30. SUNDAY, APRIL 19 Greater Dayton AIDS Walk @ University of Dayton River Campus, 1700 Patterson Blvd, Dayton, 45469; aidswalkohio.com: AIDS Walk, walking for AIDS! 10a. SUNDAY, APRIL 26 Love Big LGBT Wedding Expo @ Hilton Garden Inn, 3520 Pentagon Blvd, Dayton, 45431; 614.268.8525 x3; lovebigweddingexpo.com: Outlook is hosting Dayton’s first wedding expo focused solely on same-sex couples. Come meet caterers, florists, bakers, photographers and other business owners who support our right to marry and welcome our business. Special performances by The Rubi Girls! 11a-3p. TOLEDO / NORTHWEST
MONDAY, APRIL 13 What Next? @ Bowen-Thompson Student Union Room 201, Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, 43403; 419.372.2642; bgsu.edu/multicultural-affairs/lgbt-resource-center.html: The LGBT Resource Center session focuses on the transition from campus to home, where families and communities might not be as accepting. 6p7:30p. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15 BGSU Lavender Graduation @ Bowen-Thompson Student Union Room 201, Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, 43403; 419.372.2642; bgsu.edu/multicultural-affairs/lgbt-resource-center.html: The annual ceremony honors LGBTA undergrads and graduate students. 5p-6:30p. SATURDAY, APRIL 18 Greater Toledo AIDS Walk @ International Park, 26 Main St, Toledo, 43605; aidswalkohio.com: AIDS Walk, Walking for AIDS! 9a. SUNDAY, APRIL 26 Miss Legends and Miss Amateur Legends Pageant @ Legends Showclub, 117 N Erie St, Toledo, 43604; 567.315.8333; legendsbartoledo.com: Who will be crowned the first-ever Miss Legends? And which amateur is a legend in the making? 9p. outlookohio.com
OHIO LGBT NIGHTLIFE ROUNDUP BARS & CLUBS Akron
Adams Street 77 N Adams St Akron, Ohio 44305 330.434.9794 adamsstreetbar.com FB: Adams Street Bar Cocktails 1009 S Main St Akron, Ohio 44311 330.376.2625 FB: Cocktails Akron
Interbelt 70 N Howard St Akron, Ohio 44310 330.253.5700 interbelt.com FB: Interbelt Nite Club Square Night Club 820 W Market St Akron, Ohio 44310 330.374.9661 squarenightclub.com FB: Square Nightclub Tear-Ez 360 S Main St Akron, Ohio 44311 330.376.0011 tear-ez.com Canton
Crew 304 Cherry Ave NE Canton, Ohio 44702 330.575.5548 FB: Crew Canton Studio 704 704 4th St SW Canton, Ohio 44702 330.453.1220 Cincinnati
Bar 32 701 Bakewell St Covington, Ky 41011 859.431.7011 bar32covky.com FB: Bar 32 Cov KY
Below Zero Lounge 1120 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.421.9376 belowzerolounge.com FB: Below Zero Lounge The Cabaret 1122 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.202.4052 cabaretcincinnati.com FB: The Cabaret
The Dock 603 Pete Rose Way Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.241.5623 FB: The Dock Complex Home Base Tavern 2401 Vine St Cincinnati, Ohio 45219 513.721.1212 FB: HBT Pride Main Event 835 Main St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.421.1294 FB: Main Event Old Street Saloon 13 Old St Monroe, Ohio 45050 513.539.9183 oldstreetbar.com FB: Old Street Saloon
On Broadway 817 Broadway St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.421.2555 FB: On Broadway Bar Rosie’s Tavern 643 Bakewell St Covington, Ky 41011 859.291.9707 rosiestavernnky.com FB: Rosie’s Tavern
Shooters 927 Race St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.381.9900 FB: Shooters Bar Simon Says 428 Walnut St Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 513.381.7577 Cleveland
Cocktails 9208 Detroit Ave Cleveland, Ohio 44102 216.961.3115 FB: Cocktails Cleveland The Hawk 11217 Detroit Ave Cleveland, Ohio 44102 216.521.5443 thehawkbar.com FB: The Hawk
Leather Stallion 2205 St Clair Ave NE Cleveland, Ohio 44114 216.589.8588
leatherstallion.com Exile FB: The Stallion 893 N 4th St Leather Stallion Saloon Columbus, Ohio 43201 614.299.0069 Mean Bull / Aura exilebar.com 1313 E 26th St FB: Exile Cleveland, Ohio 44114 216.812.3330 Level Dining meanbull.com Lounge FB: Mean Bull Cleve- 700 N High St land Columbus, Ohio 43215 614.754.7111 Paradise Inn levelcolumbus.com 4488 State Rd FB: Level Dining Cleveland, Ohio 44109 Lounge 216.741.9819 FB: Paradise Inn Slammers 202 E Long St Twist Columbus, Ohio 43215 11633 Clifton Blvd 614.221.8880 Cleveland, Ohio 44102 FB: Slammers 216.221.2333 FB: Twist Sc Southbend Tavern Vibe 126 E Moler St 11633 Lorain Ave Columbus, Ohio 43207 Cleveland, Ohio 44111 614.444.3386 216.476.1970 FB: Southbend Tavern vibecleveland.com FB: Vibe Bar + Patio The Toolbox Saloon Columbus 744 Frebis Ave Columbus, Ohio 43206 AWOL 614.670.8113 49 Parsons Ave FB: The Toolbox Saloon Columbus, Ohio 43215 Tremont Lounge 614.621.8779 708 S High St awolbar.com Columbus, Ohio 43206 FB: Awol Bar 614.444.2041 FB: Tremont Lounge Axis 775 N High St Union Café Columbus, Ohio 782 N High St 43215 Columbus, Ohio 43215 614.291.4008 614.421.2233 axisonhigh.com unioncafe.com FB: Axis FB: Union Cafe Cavan Irish Pub 1409 S High St Columbus, Ohio 43207 614.725.5502 cavanirishpub.com FB: Cavan Irish Pub Club 20 20 E Duncan St Columbus, Ohio 43202 614.261.9111 FB: Club 20
Club Diversity 863 S High St Columbus, Ohio 43206 614.224.4050 clubdiversity.biz FB: Club Diversity
MJ’s on Jefferson 20 N Jefferson St Dayton, Ohio 45402 937.223.3259 mjsonjefferson.com FB: MJ’s on Jefferson Right Corner 105 E 3rd St Dayton, Ohio 45402 937.228.2033 FB: Right Corner
Sparky’s Lounge 822 Watertower Lane West Carrollton, Ohio 45449 937.859.1062 FB: Sparky’s Lounge Stage Door 44 N Jefferson St Dayton, Ohio 45402 937.223.7418 FB: The Stage Door Lima
Somewhere 804 W North St Lima, Ohio 45801 419.227.7288 somewherelima.com FB: Somewhere Mansfield
Sami’s 178 Wayne St Mansfield, Ohio 44902 419.522.1500 FB: Sami’s Bar Sandusky
Bretz 2012 Adams St Toledo, Ohio 43604 419.243.1900 FB: Bretz Nightclub
Legends Showclub 117 N Erie St Toledo, Ohio 43604 567.315.8333 legendsbartoledo.com FB: Legends Showclub Toledo Mojo 115 N Erie St Toledo, Ohio 43604 567.315.8333 mojobartoledo.com FB: Mojo’s R-House 5534 Secor Rd Toledo, Ohio 43623 419.474.2929 FB: Rhouse Bar Warren
Funky Skunk NiteClub 143 E Market St Warren, Ohio 44481 FB: Funky Skunk NiteClub Youngstown
Utopia Video Night Club 876 E Midlothian Blvd Youngstown, Ohio 44502 330.781.9000 FB: Utopia Youngstown
Crowbar 206 W Market St Sandusky, Ohio 44870 BATHS 419.624.0109 sanduskycrowbar.com Akron Steam Wall Street FB: Sandusky Crowbar and Sauna Night Club 41 S Case Ave 144 N Wall St Akron, Ohio 44305 Columbus, Ohio 43215 Springfield 330.252.2791 614.464.2800 akronsteamandDiesel Bar & wallstreetnightsauna.com clubandshowbar.com Nightclub 1914 Edwards Ave Club Columbus Springfield, Ohio Dayton 795 W 5th Ave 45503 Columbus, Ohio 43212 937.324.0383 Argos 614.291.0049 FB: Diesel Bar & 301 Mabel St the-clubs.com Nightclub Dayton, Ohio 45403 937.252.2976 Flex Toledo 2600 Hamilton Ave, Masque Cleveland, Ohio 44114 Boobie Trap 20 N Jefferson St 216.812.3304 5082 Douglas Rd Dayton, Ohio 45402 flexspas.com Toledo, Ohio 43613 937.228.2582 419.690.4115 clubmasque.com FB: Boobie-Trap FB: Masque GET LISTED!
Outlook Bar Hop: Visit every bar on this list with photographic evidence and we’ll send you a T-shirt!
Update/add listing: erin@outlookmedia.com. april 2015
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savage love
by Dan Savage
Loving Couples Is it your opinion that a girl can love a man but also want an open relationship? Or does wanting an open relationship mean that the girl doesn’t love her man? (I’m the girl in this situation.)
butt again. Not in my wildest imagination could or would my husband EVER do something like this with me. He just doesn’t have it in him.
I am more sexually fulfilled than I have been in a decade. I’m - Perplexed Over Lusty Yearnings also lying and cheating. I’m deeply torn. If I tell my husband, my guess is that he won’t take it well. It could cause our Wanting to fuck other men isn’t proof that a girl (or a boy or a marriage to unravel. If I keep lying, I bear the moral burden SOPATGS*) doesn’t love her man. of the lie, and he could find out anyway. When two people make a monogamous commitment - which should be an opt-in choice, not a default setting - they’re promising not to fuck other people. But both will still want to fuck other people. If you can’t see yourself sleeping with just one man for the rest of your life - or being in a relationship with just one man at a time - then a monogamous commitment isn’t for you, POLY. And if the man you’re with wants a monogamous commitment - if being with him means you can’t sleep with other men - then he might not be for you either. (* Some other point along the gender spectrum.) I’m a gay man married to a wonderful man. For most of our 12-year relationship, we’ve had a boring sexual script that is all about him getting blown. He just doesn’t seem interested in much else, and although we’ve talked about it over the years, nothing has really changed. He is selfish in bed. He’s a wonderful husband otherwise, and I love him deeply. Recently, he was out of town, and in a weak moment, I ended up meeting an experienced spanking Dom. We’ve met several times, and I’m counting the days until he whales on my 44
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The drawing is a stretch for us, too.
- Still Professing A Normal Kink We all have sexual limits, we’re all entitled to our sexual limits, but expecting your spouse to do nothing but blow you for 12 years isn’t a limit. It’s bullshit, SPANK. Your husband’s complete disregard for your feelings for your sense of sexual fulfillment tips over into the sexual abandonment category.
Good Catch by Joe Newton
His actions don’t excuse your affair, of course, but horniness, frustration and duress drove you to this, and your husband has to take his share of the re-
sponsibility. You say your marriage might unravel if you were to tell your husband about this spanking. But whatever the fallout might be - the end of your marriage or renegotiated terms that allow you to get some/most of your needs met elsewhere - is better than the status quo. Tell him.
You can email Dan Savage at mail@savagelove.net, follow him on Twitter at @fakedansavage or listen to his weekly podcast, Savage Lovecast, every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Savage Love appears every month in Outlook and every week at outlookohio.com. outlookohio.com
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the divine life
by Debé
Aries (March 21-April 19) The full moon in April is called the Pink Moon. How fabulous is that? It brings a sense of balance and harmony. You need that this month to temper your aggressive side, which is running hot. Spring has you all worked up. Calm down, Ram; patience is not your virtue, but you’ll catch cuter flies with honey.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Things are moving, but not fast enough. What’s Fierce Rams: Elton John, Suzanne Westenhoe- new, right? Career opportunities are unfolding fer and fab ally Lady Gaga though. Be ready to channel your abundant passion into the boardroom, but not the bedroom, Taurus where a more subtle approach is needed. (April 20-May 20) As you prepare for your turn in the spotlight, take Sagittarius time to help others. Your bullheadedness is a plus (November 22-December 21) when you’re fighting for a cause and not just fight- This month you need to play it cool and listen. This ing for the fun of it. Challenge yourself to pay it for- is an important time in your relationship with your ward. parents, partners and friends. Don’t do anything you might regret, because you’ll remember this Gemini month for a long time. (May 21-June 20) You’re feeling a little restless at the slow pace of Capricorn things, but don’t push it too hard with your friends (December 22-January 19) and lovers. If they feel cornered, they might turn Lots of opportunity for career growth, and things their backs on you, and not in a good way. Just sit are looking good. Still, prioritize family over work back and relax this month. and make time to relax, or there could be trouble on the home front. Better to change your job than Cancer your address, n’est pas? (June 21-July 22) Your energy level is so much better, and you’re Aquarius ready to pursue your goals, especially in relation(January 20-February 18) ships. Love feels profound and life-changing. It’s You are getting lots of notice at work, and you’re great, but don’t go all Heathcliff from Wuthering radiating a rock-star vibe. Even old exes are digHeights on us. ging you and might become good friends. How lesbian of you. I say the more the merrier, but if you Leo have a SO, be careful. (July 23-August 22) Be a flexible feline this month. There might be Pisces some ego clashes in relationships, so be the better (February 19-March 20) cat and walk away before the claws come out. Take You start off strong but you lose a little steam as a trip if you can, or at least get some solo time to the month progresses. You’re feeling vulnerable. keep you in purr mode. Take that opportunity to evaluate life and what you want, but no major decisions, please. Do not put a Virgo ring on it in April! (August 23-September 22) It’s spring and the perfect time to plant some seeds at work that could bring rewards by month’s Handy Tip: Star end. No one deserves a promotion more than you on Mars do. If they aren’t seeing your worth, you might need A star, or asterisk, on to sashay away. the Mount of Mars indicates courage. Libra Debé is a palmist, intu(September 23-October 22) itive adviser and metaThe full moon in your sign on the 4th showcases your balance and charm. As attractive as you are - physical teacher in Columbus. She is available for personal readings, parand trust me, you are yummy - your focus shifts ties, events and workshops. For more information, go to from time with honey to making money by month’s thepassionatepalmist.com. Look for her horoscopes every end. Girl’s gotta get paid, right? month in Outlook. outlookohio.com
You don’t need a palmist to tell you that you’ll have fun at Studio 35.
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outlook’s blog squad Every month in print and every Monday online, we ask Outlook readers to do our work for us as members of our blog squad.
If you want to share your rants, raves or observations, join the Squad! Contact Erin McCalla: 614.268.8525 x2
Joe Howard, Columbus
Top Modern Family Dads 5. Javier 4. Jay 3. Cameron 2. Mitchell 1. Phil
:
April 13 Topic: Being a Gay Dad Chad Lusher, Columbus
LGBT Sporting Events in Columbus
5. Outlook’s Pride Night at the Clippers (April 25) 4. Columbus Metropolitan Tennis Organization Tournament (Aug 28-30) 3. Columbus Ohio Midwestern Invitational Tournament/Bowling (April 24-26) 2. Bat N Rouge (June 21) 1. 2015 Gay Softball World Series (Aug 17-22)
April 27 Topic: The LGBT Sports Scene
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THE GOSPEL OF JON
Across
1 Erotic opening 5 Ids’ counterparts 9 160 square rods 13 It pokes you in prison 14 Kind of IRA 15 Tune type 16 Actress Skye 17 “No” voter 18 Vidal’s ___ from Golgotha 19 Start of an ironic comment by Jon Stewart 22 De Matteo of _Desperate Housewives_ 23 State rep. 24 Macbeth’s taunt to Macduff 27 “Now I’m pissed!” 31 “It’s showtime!” 32 Time spent with Frida 34 Park of NYC 35 End of the comment 38 Improve wine or cheese 39 Bill T. Jones’ partner Zane 40 “Why should ___ you?” 41 Statues with big packages 43 Sharon of _Queer as Folk_ 44 Feel sorrow about 45 Shakespeare’s Puck, et al.
47 Argument that gay marriage will lead to other problems 53 Fruit flavor for gin 54 Blades of grass, collectively 55 “Suuure!” 56 Draw some interest 57 Bangkok continent 58 “See you later” 59 Boob, to a Brit 60 Itches 61 Broadway composer Jerome
Down
1 “Be that ___ may...” 2 Ejaculation of concern 3 Part of Daly’s fork? 4 Like a flaming Queen routine 5 Tape over 6 “I’m ___ wash that man right outta my hair” 7 Guy that goes either way? 8 Like a tidy first mate 9 Not straight 10 In vogue 11 Go from one gay bar to another, e.g. 12 Mama of Mary’s little lamb 20 It may follow directions 21 Rover’s restraint
Ask Joe to show you his belly. He’s been working on it. It’s worth it.
24 One of Whitman’s dooryard bloomers 25 Lorca’s friend 26 Rural stereotype 27 Star Trek counselor Deanna 28 Liberace’s choice of fur 29 High-tuition schools 30 You really suck if you use these 32 Shenanigans with stallions? 33 One-time Atlanta arena 36 Invites to one’s penthouse 37 Lubricant leak? 42 Set straight 43 Navigation aid (abbr.) 45 Novelist Shaw 46 Birds with gifted tongues 47 Side dish with fish 48 Petty of A League of Their Own 49 “___ On Down the Road” 50 Nathan Lane’s award for Love! Valour! Compassion! 51 Fruit shaped like a lute 52 Alfred Douglas’ school 53 Group of games, for Mauresmo
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