August 2023 OutreachNC

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Dating After 50: Debunking the Myths that Keep Us Lonely and Stuck

Of the many changes we experience as we head into the second 50 years of life, our relationship status is often an unexpected change. Many of us marry in our twenties or early thirties, some of us in our late teens, and we expect to remain married until we pass. For many of us, the reality changes. After the age of 50, we are unmarried for many reasons. Some of our partners have passed. Some of us are divorced. Still others among us never married at all. Whatever the reason, the numbers of single Americans in the second half of life is on the rise. Roughly 25% of men 50+ are single. The number of single women is even higher. For women ages 50-64, 20% are single. The number increases after the age of 65, when nearly half of all women are single. Millions of Americans are single and seeking connection later in life.

As a mental health counselor, my clients are often seeking connection. Many of my clients are divorced or widowed. The image they had of their fifties and beyond has changed. They expected to be married later in life, to be booking vacations with their spouse or visiting grandchildren together. They had financial, social and family goals defined by partnership, and these goals now feel unreachable or devoid of meaning. Many of the people I know and work with, both professionally and personally, find it challenging to redefine a life they’d envisioned for decades, with a partner, growing old as a family.

For many of the people I work with, the first stage of life without a partner is the belief one doesn’t need companionship. I hear, all the time, “I’ll just live alone and enjoy the quiet and solitude. There won’t be anyone telling me what to do or asking me where I’m going.”

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ASK THE EXPERT: WHAT IS A SOLO AGER?

FEATURE: DATING AFTER 50: DEBUNKING THE MYTHS THAT KEEP US LONELY AND STUCK

INFOGRAPHIC: PURPLE HEART DAY

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ture dipped low enough to merit a fleece. Don’t worry. It was decaf.

we are lucky, toward each other. We have lingering conversations over the flames flicker. Smoke dances around us in a circle. We zip

APRIL 2022 - 2

Amy Phariss, Editor-in-Chief , OutreachNC | editor@outreachnc.com

April is here and the Sandhills are awash in pollen. So begins another spring. The dogwoods are blooming. The weather is warming up with the occasional cold snap to help ease us into summer. We begin to transition from the darkness of winter into a lighter, brighter, more colorful few months, before the sky is hazy with heat and clinging to our skin.

October is a gentle month. There are constant reminders of change. We turn inward, toward warmth and if we are lucky, toward each other. We have lingering conversations over tea. We burn fires and sit in silence as the flames flicker. Smoke dances around us in a circle. We zip our jackets and consider hats.

Readers….August is here, which means that September is around the corner. For those of us who wrangle our hair all summer and hope for a cool breeze, we cling to the hope that cooler, drier days are only a short month away. Realistically, we know September is no saint. Still…we cling.

In this month’s feature, we’re starting an important conversation: care community for ourselves or a loved one? Fox Hollow Senior Robin Hutchings offers inside perspective for making this decision.

In Ask the Expert, Amy Natt answers a reader’s question regarding what away without any estate planning. Without a will or access to important

In this month’s feature, we’re starting an important conversation: how do we choose the proper senior care community for ourselves or a loved one? Fox Hollow Senior Living’s Sales and Marketing Director, Robin Hutchings offers inside perspective for making this decision.

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This month we explore how to cut costs on what is a growing expense for many Americans: prescription medication. Many of us rely on monthly medication for treatment of health issues, and the cost of many medications continues to increase while insurance benefits and coverage continues to change. Local pharmacist Rob Barrett of Whispering Pines and Seven Lakes Prescription Shoppes helps us understand the pros and cons of savings tips and offers his own suggestions for cutting costs.

Physical therapist Dr. Sara Morrison of Total Body Therapy and Wellness potential diagnostic tools used in physical therapy to help diagnose and these tools differ from what other doctor’s offices may offer.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

In Ask the Expert, Amy Natt answers a reader’s question regarding what to do when a loved one passes away without any estate planning. Without a will or access to important accounts, what does a family do?

As we think of dating, connection and support, Oscar Wilde’s words remind us how important communication is to any bond:

Aging Outreach Services Care Manager Associate Ashley Seace answers a reader’s question regarding Parkinson’s disease diagnosis in this month’s Ask the Expert. She explains the diagnosis, explores possible treatment options and offers advice for caregivers whose loved ones are recently diagnosed.

Amy Phariss, Editor-in-Chief

This month we’re digging into a touchy topic: dating after 50. For many of us, dating is associated with twenty-somethings finding love, marriage and a happily ever after. But dating can happen (and does happen) at any and all ages, from 15 to 85. We all desire connection, whether it’s a friendly game of chess or a dinner date with a side dish of dancing. Dating after 50 elicits many feelings and fears, and we explore them in this month’s feature.

Physical therapist Dr. Sara Morrison of Total Body Therapy and Wellness helps readers understand potential diagnostic tools used in physical therapy to help diagnose and treat pain. You’ll want to learn how these tools differ from what other doctor’s offices may offer.

I’m going to agree with Nathaniel Hawthorne this month, who wrote: I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine spent almost all the daylight hours in the open air.

I’m going to agree with Nathaniel Hawthorne this month, who wrote:

Here’s to enjoying the October sunshine, falling leaves and daylight hours.

We are thrilled to have Colette Bachand’s faith column back this month. Bachand writes about woes vs. wows in a column we can all relate to, no matter our circumstances.

I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house. So I have spent almost all the daylight hours in the open air.

As I ease into the summer months and watch the world come alive around me, I’m reminded of Goethe’s prescription for seeking beauty:

Here’s to enjoying the October sunshine, falling leaves and daylight hours.

A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.

Aging Outreach Services Care Manager Ashley Seace helps a reader understand the term “solo ager” in this month’s Ask the Expert. Seace explains what solo ager (sometimes referred to as elder orphan) means, how it’s relevant, and how can seniors who identify with this term ensure they’re living and aging on their own terms.

instagram.com/agingoutreachservices/

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jackets
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LETTER
FROM THE EDITOR
facebook.com/agingoutreach/ instagram.com/agingoutreachservices/ OutreachNC |
editor@outreachnc.com
We are passionate about helping older adults navigate the
e in Aging Well Experts
Amy Phariss, Editor-in-Chief , OutreachNC | editor@outreachnc.com
Amy Phariss, Editor-in-Chief, OutreachNC | editor@outreachnc.com
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We are passionate e in Aging Well Experts LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Finally, we celebrate Purple Heart Day, which is August 7 of this year. We dig into the history of the award, what it means and how often it has been awarded since its inception several hundred years ago. We are proud of our military, soldiers and the valiant efforts they display in honor of our country.
Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation. Happy late-summer mugginess,
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
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In beauty,

PT: WHERE DO SYMPTOMS COME FROM?

Question:

No one likes to be in pain. In fact, I have spent the past 20+ years helping people get out of pain. The most common question I hear is “How can I get this pain to go away?” The answer to this is simple. We first need to know Why you are hurting. Then we can figure out how to stop the pain. So, why are you hurting? There are many different reasons for pain to occur in our bodies. Pain can be due to a problem in the Muscles, Joints, Tendons, Organs or Nerves. It can also be due to Medication, Psychological reasons, or Nutrition

Recently I was referred to as an solo ager by someone at my independent living community. I do not really understand what that means and how it affects the way I want to age. Can you explain it to me and offer some advice for my future planning?

Answer:

Many health care professionals diagnose pain by Special Tests. During these tests, your practitioner will use their hands to push, pull and twist the areas that are causing you pain. These tests are very useful to find what structure is causing you pain. If you place stress on a structure and it increases your pain, it is likely that structure is contributing to your symptoms. Although helpful, many of these special tests are only 60-80% accurate. While this may look good at first, changing the way the question is framed will show that this also means they are 20-40% inaccurate. Misdiagnosis of pain can be very costly. At best it keeps you in pain longer, while in other cases it can allow symptoms to intensify. When you are dealing with pain, missing your favorite activities and sleepless nights… you want to be as accurate as possible!

That is a fantastic question! The term ‘solo ager’ refers to an individual who does not have any known family or a surrogate family member available to them. Some individuals consider themselves to be solo agers even if they have family, but their family is not local to them. While this may not feel like the best term to describe your current life status, this is not necessarily bad news, and it doesn’t mean you don’t have the option to age the way you want. If you find that you are an solo ager, there are still ways for you to age in a way that meets your individual needs and desires. It all starts with early planning. You have options when it comes to finding the support and help a family often provides. For example, if you don’t have someone you trust to act on your behalf, you can turn to an elder care attorney. These attorneys can help make care decisions for you and will ensure your wishes are executed. They can help find somewhere safe for you to live, such as a care facility. They can employ caregivers to assist you with all of your needs, from transportation for errands or even personal care, which can help you age in place and at home if that is your wish. Elder care attorneys are impartial individuals who will make the best decisions for your situation and circumstances.

The addition of Diagnostic Imaging in Physical Therapy has revolutionized the way pain is addressed. By utilizing Diagnostic Imaging, PT’s are now able to look inside you

and diagnose your pain with over 98% accuracy. That means that we can find the real problem, or problems, and address them from the beginning. No more trial and error. No more “try this for a few months and if it doesn’t get any better we will try to get an MRI”. With the addition of Diagnostic imaging, your Physical Therapist can now say “From my evaluation it looks like you have a problem in ____. We are going to do a Diagnostic Ultrasound and confirm this and fully check your joint.” In a matter of a few days, we can have your test performed, results given to you and a new, more comprehensive plan to improve your pain.

Diagnostic imaging in physical therapy includes:

It is also recommended that you find other individuals who are in similar positions as you. If you are living in a care community, there are likely other solo agers. As you get to know people who live around you, you can build connections that feel safe, with people who will help you if needed. If you do not live in a care community, it is recommended to find either support groups or social groups for individuals who do not have family available for help and support. Your local senior enrichment center is a good place to start. They offer lots of activities throughout the week that you could participate in and meet others that might be at a similar stage in the aging process as yourself.

1. Musculoskeletal Ultrasound (MSKUS)

Another resource is working with a Aging Life Care™ Manager. Care managers are trained professionals who advocate for, support, and respect the wishes of their clients. A care manager can schedule your doctor’s appointments, monitor and refill medications, oversee caregivers for you, and advocate for your health.

Regardless of whether you are an solo ager or not, you still have the ability to age the way you want and have your wishes respected.

MSKUS is a safe diagnostic tool. It is used to diagnose structures such as tendons, muscles, bursas, ligaments, nerve entrapment/pinching and joint structure changes. Like a video, MSKUS captures real-time images of body structures and can assess a joint/area while it moves. This feature is especially useful as many times pain does not occur at rest, only with movement.

AUGUST 2023 - 3
ashleys@aoscaremanagement.com OCTOBER 2022 - 10
ASK THE EXPERT: WHAT IS A SOLO AGER? Ashley Seace, AOS Care Manager –
Open Arms Retirement Center Assisted Living | Memory Care | Music & Memory Certified 612 Health Drive | Raeford | 910-875-3949 www.openarmsretirement.com Let us help you in making a decision about the care you are seeking. “Making a Difference in the Lives of Others”
Dr. Sara S. Morrison, T, DPT, CDT, FCE, CFT, Cert DN, Cert FMT | Owner -Total Body Therapy & Wellness

Debunking the Myths that Keep Us Lonely and Stuck DATING

AFTER 50:

This is, in many ways, a comforting denial of the need for intimate connection. This is often done in response to a hurtful divorce or breakup. Still other clients, those who have lost a partner in death, deny any need for connection because it feels like a betrayal. They were married for 30+ years, and the idea of finding another person interesting, comforting or compelling feels wrong. They wish to remain true to their marriage vows even when their spouse has passed.

These responses are normal and part of the grieving process. We grieve the loss of not only a relationship but the dreams and expectations linked to that relationship. We don’t lose just the presence of another person but the dreams we created and dreamed together.

As time passes and we grow to accept our aloneness, we also begin exploring the idea of reaching out and finding companionship. This looks different for each person. Many of us will reach out for friendships, some old and some new. We will pick up an old sport or hobby and begin to socialize this way. We may join a bridge club or book club. We meet new friends and become reacquainted with past relationships. We meet for coffee and breakfast. We might travel together. We swap books and stories of the grandkids. We explore business ventures and finally get in that round of golf.

For others, a desire for a deeper, more intimate connection exists. We are looking for a romantic connection, which can be scary and exciting. A lot of questions, fears and hopes lurk in the background of the question: do I even want to start dating again?

We begin asking friends about their experiences, talk to our therapists about the pros and cons and, on a late Friday night after a glass of wine, log into an online dating site and quicky, very quickly, log off.

What are the fears, myths and realities of dating later in life? What can we expect? What should we look out for? What are the little lies we hear that cause us to cringe, step back and sign off (literally and figurately) altogether? And how, for those of

us who choose to, do we move forward with dating when we’ve been out of this world for decades and the landscape has, inevitably, changed?

In considering dating, the first sticking point for many of us is the negative association with dating, particularly as we get older. Myths abound. Horror stories garner thousands (if not millions) of views online. Our friends make blanket statements about dating after a bad (or good) experience. Suddenly, the landscape looks bleak, and we can’t figure out why anyone would venture forth into such an unreliable prospect as meeting someone for coffee and attempting a life history in 5-minute chunks.

What are the myths keeping many of us glued to the sofa and heating up another cup of tea? The first myth is related to age, of course.

MYTH #1: OLDER MEN WANT YOUNGER WOMEN, AND OLDER WOMEN WANT EVEN OLDER MEN.

This myth has been around since the beginning of time: Older men want younger women and will leave their wives when they find a woman 20-years younger who can tolerate their work schedules and cook them a decent meal. Or, women (of any age) are seeking older, high-status men who can care for them financially.

I see clients each week who defy these myths. The men who speak with me about what they’re looking for in the women they’re dating report a desire to date women their own age or even a bit older. They’re looking for intellectual companionship and wish to date women who share their values and understand their life experiences. I have never worked with a male client who has been interested in dating a very young woman, and they never report finding younger women more attractive or alluring than women their own age. I believe this is a myth perpetuated by Hollywood and confirmed by occasional social proof: Uncle Marty is dating a girl in college with legs of a supermodel and the stamina of a gazelle. Does this occasionally happen? Yes. Is it the norm? No. It’s not.

In fact, according to evolutionary researchers, “…on average, males preferred a mate who was

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TIPS FOR DATING IN THE 2020S…

1. Online dating isn’t the only game in town. Start a new hobby and meet someone naturally based on interests, values and lifestyle. These friendships and relationships often have a much longer staying power than relationships focused solely on romantic connection made during the traditional dating process. You can go online for hobby groups as well as attending in-person meet ups, volunteering or joining groups (like book clubs, church groups or athletic clubs).

2. Choose shorter dates in the beginning, giving yourself enough time to chat and get to know someone over several dates. This helps by allowing each of you to think between dates and really digest what you’re seeing, hearing and learning about the other person. A great first day is meeting for coffee or tea or going for a walk. Dinner, as a first date, can feel like a long endeavor if you’re disinterested or uncomfortable.

3. As a rule, avoid alcohol on the first few dates, which can cloud judgement and isn’t always safe. If ever there is a time to keep your wits about you, a first date is that time!

4. Play it safe by meeting at a public location, telling friends where you’ll be and not disclosing too many personal details before you get to know someone.

about two and a half years younger” (Delton et. al, 263). Interestingly, when it comes to evolution, men tend to be attracted to women who have high fertility. For younger men (teenagers), they are actually attracted to older women. Older men, those who seek to have children, may be attracted to younger women.

But for many men past the age of 50, the purpose of dating is not to begin a family but to find companionship. For this, men seek out partners who share their values and life goals and with whom they can connect.

In fact, researchers hypothesize that men seek partnerships in two distinct phases of life: the mating effort phase and the parenting/ grandparenting phase. In the mating effort phase, men are focused on procreation, and therefore may be looking for younger women. In the parenting and grandparenting phase, men are seeking mates with whom they can focus attention and resources on family life. According to researchers, “…these men are essentially looking for a long-term cooperative partner and not a reproductive mate, per se” (Delton, et al., pg. 264). What is clear in the research and in our personal experience is that how and why we date is complex and based on many variables, the least of which may be age.

On the flip side, women are thought to always be searching for an older (arguably wealthy) man.

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Again, this is not what I see either professionally or personally.

Many women are independently financially secure, so seeking a rich, older man has become a cliché. It may have been relevant in a time when women had fewer financial options and less security, but today’s dating scene is very different.

In fact, according to one study, women who are married to men 10 years younger actually report being more satisfied with their relationship than women married to older men or men within the same age-range (Lehmiller, 2023). Women often date younger men, but mostly, women are looking for the same connection as are men: with people who share their values, interests and experiences.

These myths about both men and women keep many from opening up to the dating world and seeing it with excitement and hopefulness rather than cynicism. Are there men out there looking for young women? Sure. It happens. And there are women looking for an older man to keep them financially secure. But this is happening less often than the alternative, which is people looking for genuine companionship and connection. Letting go of these myths is a good first step in seeing potential partners as people rather than cliches.

MYTH #2: ROMANCE AND INTIMACY ARE DEAD AFTER 50.

Many people report that intimacy and romance are actually better after age 50 than before.

5. Know what you want before you head out into the dating world. Do you want a friendship? Do you want a dinner partner or someone to explore the outdoors with? Are you looking for a romantic spark or a friendship that may grow into something more? Be clear about your goals before dipping your toe into the water. You’ll be much more likely to know when you’ve got what you’re looking for if you have a clear idea what it is.

6. Know what you don’t want, as well. If you don’t want a romantic relationship, be clear with yourself about that. On the flip side, if you don’t want another friend, it’s good to identify that ahead of time. It’s easy to go down dead-end roads when we’re only thinking about what we want and haven’t considered what we don’t want. Both are important.

7. Do your best to be open to new relationships being different from what you’ve known in the past. You’re different now than you were a decade ago, so you’re likes and dislikes, your habits and your preferences have likely changed, too. This is a time to explore, which can be scary and uncomfortable at first but can also lead to a lot of personal growth and exciting discovery. Be open, honest (even with yourself) and safe.

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SECURE DATING: Safety Tips Everyone Should Know

1. Do not give someone money (under any circumstances, no matter how sad or compelling the story). If someone asks for a loan or money for a plane ticket, think twice (and then think again!). Do not give money to anyone you don’t know well, especially not a stranger you’ve met online.

2. Do not provide personal information such as birthdates, phone numbers, social security number, etc. Use a Google Voice phone number, which is free and easy to set up and rings directly to your cell phone. This keeps people from searching for information using your phone number, which is a great way to find out key details about your personal history.

3. Be wary of love bombing – otherwise known as “coming on too strong” with attention, affection and gifts. When this happens too quickly, it’s often a sign of manipulation. If someone seems to be overthe-top with affection, be careful. Remember the old saying: gut feelings are guardian angels. Listen to your gut.

Numerous studies of older adults report that at least 25% of the 50+ population have regular and satisfying intimate relationships and plenty of romance.

This comes as a surprise for many of us who believe romance and intimacy are dead by the time the kids leave home. The TODAY show, for example, collected data from over 1,400 people for its “This is 50” survey and found that a third of people in their 50s are having regular (a few times a week or month) sex. Many reported having more satisfying intimate relationships after the age of 50 vs. in their younger years.

Several reasons for improved intimacy and greater romance after the age of 50 exist. First, many people say they simply have more time and energy to focus on romantic relationships. The kids are off and on their own, or at least they’re getting close to leaving the nest (and likely driving themselves to and from soccer practice). There is greater work/life balance in the later years, as people have established their careers and are less likely to work long hours trying to build a reputation or skillset. For many, the 50s and 60s are a time of financial and job security, and there is greater capacity for life outside the office.

Another reason intimacy can be better as we age is greater confidence and acceptance. As we age, we tend to accept what we can’t change and feel more confident about what we’re doing well. We have fewer inhibitions and more confidence that the right person will find us compelling. We don’t need to try so hard or create a façade. We tend to be more authentic and genuine because decades of life have taught us that trying to be who we’re not is exhausting and unsustainable.

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There is a lot of comfort in the confidence we have simply being ourselves, flaws and all, and to trust that the people who love us at our best will also love our imperfections, too.

We have gotten over the need to be perfect at all, which leaves more room to explore, have fun and enjoy the journey.

Romance and intimacy are about connection. For people in the second 50 years of life, connection is based on authenticity, which is easier for many people the older we get. There is less pressure to be perfect. There is a certain maturity that comes after living through five or more decades of life. Enjoy the beauty of knowing yourself and sharing that with others, and allow room for romance to follow, butterflies and all.

MYTH #3: THE POINT OF DATING IS TO GET MARRIED.

This myth is as applicable to dating at 20 as it is to dating at 60. The belief that dating must lead to marriage puts pressure on just about anyone in the dating pool, no matter the age. Thanks, again, to Hollywood, we often link dating to marriage, and the more romantic the story, the quicker those two events happen. However, for many people dating later in life, marriage is not a focus at all. In fact, many people don’t wish to marry at all.

Many reasons exist for choosing not to marry, especially later in life. As divorce rates for people over the age of 50 continue to climb, many couples are hesitant to tie the knot. According to research in the Journal of Gerontology (2022), one in three divorces are among people 50 years and older.

With so many divorces later in life, many dating couples are happy to date or remain in committed, long-term relationships without marrying. In fact, many couples report that the absence of marriage is what keeps the relationship working. Rather than feeling “tied” to a partner, many older adults want the freedom to continue choosing a relationship each day. Other reasons people may want to date but not marry include financial considerations, the feelings of their adult children and a desire to “live apart but together.”

Living apart but together (LAT) means maintaining two households but remaining in a committed couple. For many couples, the autonomy and independence of LAT is a huge perk of dating after the age of building families and combining finances.

Dating can be whatever a person (or couple) wishes it to be. It can be a way to socialize and meet new people. It can be the pursuit of a committed, long-term relationship. It can lead to marriage. It does not, however, have to be onesize-fits-all. The fear that dating is opening the door (and running through it) for marriage is a myth easily overcome by open conversations based on clear desires and goals. If your interest is to meet people for morning coffee or a weekend movie, it’s perfectly fine to say that and explore it. If your goal is to find your forever love and live happily-ever-after in wedded bliss, that’s fine, too. The point and beauty of dating later in life is to make it personal to you, your needs and your desires.

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Online Sites for Dating After 50

There are plenty of online dating sites, some better than others. Here is a list of the Top 5 Dating Sites from our research, singling out the safest and most reliable options.

Dating after 50 is, in many ways, different than dating in our twenties or thirties. We have different perspectives based on years of experiences. Our histories are longer. In some ways, we know ourselves better. We are more certain of what we’re looking for, what we wish to avoid and how we react to certain situations. We have more financial security and, often, more time for hobbies, travel, adventure and love. We are wiser and more confident. We are also often more hesitant, knowing what we know about relationships, time and the challenges inherent in sharing our lives with someone else.

In other ways, dating later in life is the same as it was decades earlier. We are seeking companionship and connection. We want to share our meals and sometimes our lives with another person. We want excitement and a little bit of intrigue. We want to wake up looking forward to dinner and a movie. We want to care about others and feel cared for in the same way. These desires don’t change no matter our age. The number of years we’ve lived may change our physical appearance, our financial status or the street number on the house, but it doesn’t change our need for closeness, connection and fun. Dating is one of the many ways to explore these human needs, and with a bit of caution and a dash of courage, it can be as much of an adventure at 65 as it was at 25.

10 - AUGUST 2023 Community Program Unspoken Emotions C A R E G I V E R G U I L T & G R I E F Sept 21 at 4pm | Seven Lakes Chapel in the Pines | 781 Seven Lakes Drive Caregivers and care recipients experience a range of unspoken emotions as care needs increase. Join us for a discussion that addresses the range of emotions including guilt and grief that caregivers often experience. Jennifer Tyner Aging
Care™ Professional Shirley Baldwin Parish Nurse Robin Hutchings Care Community Professional September 21 at 4:00p.m. F o r M o r e I n f o r m a t i o n : 9 1 0 . 6 9 2 . 0 6 8 3 | i n f o @ A O S N C . c o m Our panel of experts will explore the reasons behind these emotions and the steps we can take to enhance the caregiving journey. Proudly sponsored by Seven Lakes Chapel in the Pines, Fox Hollow Senior Living, & Aging Outreach Services.
Life
1. Silver Singles 2. Our Time 3. eHarmony 4. Match.com 5. Christianmingle

PURPLE HEART DAY

Oldest active duty medal in the United States

Established by George Washington on August 7, 1782

Originally called the Badge of Military Merit

Awarded for “military merit and for wounds received in action”

In 1932, U.S. Army Chief of Staff, Douglas McArthur, renamed the Badge of Military Merit the Purple Heart.

Unlike other awards, the Purple Heart is an entitlement; it does not depend on recommendation of a superior officer.

In 1942, the first woman received the Purple Heart: Army Lt. Annie G. Fox.

Initially, the Purple Heart could only be issued to Army service members, which changed in 1942 when Franklin D. Roosevelt authorized the Purple Heart to all military branches as well as to be granted posthumously.

One of the first military honors given to all ranks

Over 1 million awarded during WWII

Famous recipients include Oliver Stone, James Garner, Kurt Vonnegut, Pat Tilman, and even animals including Sgt. Stubby, the dog.

35,000 Purple Hearts have been awarded during Operation Iraqi Freedom.

AUGUST 2023 - 11 AUG U ST7
John F. Kennedy is the only president to receive a Purple Heart.
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GRAY MATTER GAMES

ACROSS

1. Strong fiber

5. Bit

9. Amounted (to)

13. Archaeological find

15. ___ lamp

16. Elliptical

17. Eloquent

19. Bondman

20. Scientist that studies minute forms of matter

21. Bond, for one

23. Absorbed, as a cost

24. Congratulations, of a sort

25. Roundabout course

27. Essence

29. MasterCard alternative

30. Ring bearer, maybe 31. Money in the bank, say 32. On any ____ day

33. Arch

34. Separating two adjacent vowels

37. Appropriate 40. Rainbow ___

41. Sense of touch

45. “Flying Down to ___”

46. Western blue flag, e.g.

47. Extent

48. Welcome to _______, son

50. Clinch, with “up”

51. “A jealous mistress”: Emerson

52. Swindled

53. Keeps in memory

55. Elevator inventor

56. Two forms of an element

59. Composes

60. “Cool!”

61. Bacteria discovered by Theodor Escherich

62. Deuce topper

63. Food sticker 64. Black stone

DOWN

1. “My man!”

2. Freshens, in a way

3. Person who lays slate for roofing

4. Josip Broz, familiarly

5. Creme de la creme (2 wds)

6. Boor’s lack

7. Egg cells

18. 100 dinars

22. Ironware with stone like enamel

23. Alias

25. Catlike, carnivorous mammal

26. “Don’t give up!”

28. “20,000 Leagues” harpooner ___ Land

29. Computer woe

32. Shape of the earth

35. Brazen

36. Decline

37. Branch

38. Mideast money

39. Shared annuity

42. Spiked iron plate on soles of boots

43. In a short and concise manner

44. Undertake, with “out”

47. Balance sheet item

49. Brazen one

50. Walloped, old-style

53. Brio

54. Bananas

55. Decide to leave, with “out”

57. “Fantasy Island” prop

58. Half a dozen

AUGUST 2023 - 13
8. Bodily weakness 9. Trig function
10. Like streets
11. Kind of law
12. “The Lord of the Rings” figure
14. Skilled event
14 - AUGUST 2023 Gray Matter Games Solutions ASSISTED LIVING and MEMORY CARE Exceptional At TerraBella Southern Pines, thoughtfully designed interiors and amenity spaces, tasty homestyle dining, and exceptional lifestyle programs come together to create Southern Pines’ best option for Assisted Living & Memory Care. Plus, with 24-hour support from our experienced team of professional caretakers, you or your loved one can enjoy peace of mind knowing we’re here for you every step of the way! Come See What Makes Us Different Recently Renovated Homestyle Dining with Tableside Service Tenured Team Members 910.216.4537 TerraBellaSouthernPines.com 101 Brucewood Road, Southern Pines, NC 28387 Assisted Living I Memory Care ©2023 TerraBella Senior Living. All Rights Reserved. Prices, plans and programs are subject to change or withdrawal without notice. Void where prohibited by law. Managed and Operated by TerraBella Senior Living. TBSP-0024 7/23
AUGUST 2023 - 15 Relay Conference Captioning (RCC) service is available for individuals who have a hearing loss or a speech disability to actively participate in teleconference calls or webinars by reading live captions on their laptop, mobile device or tablet. To inquire, contact kim.m.calabretta@t-mobile.com or visit relaync.com/rcc Accessible Communication with Captions! Relay Conference Captioning DISCOVER new talents & new friends 155 Blake Blvd. Pinehurst, NC 28374 On any given day, you’ll find a range of options to fuel your passions, meet new friends and enjoy a lifestyle rich with interesting and exciting educational and engaging programs. Learn more about senior living at QuailHavenVillage.com or schedule a visit at 910.537.6812. INDEPENDENT LIVING | ASSISTED LIVING SKILLED NURSING | REHABILITATION A Life Plan Community offered by Liberty Senior Living © 2023 Quail Haven Village 123118 quail haven discover ad-outreach nc.indd 1 6/14/23 4:25 PM World Cla Care, Close To Home Specializing In: Diabetic Eye Disease • Macular Degeneration Retinal Detachments • Macular Holes Retinal Occlusions Left to Right: Zeina Haddad, M.D., Kendall Wannamaker, M.D., & Arghavan Almony, M.D. CAROLINAEYE.COM • 910.295.2100
16 - AUGUST 2023 OCTOBER 2022 - 16 At Fox Hollow Senior Living, our residents have the opportunity to do everything they’ve always loved. With Five Star Dining, days filled with friends and adventures, you can be yourself again – while we take care of the rest.
Star FOX HOLLOW SENIOR LIVING COMMUNITY 190 Fox Hollow Road • Pinehurst, NC 28374 910-695-0011 • www.FoxHollowSeniorLiving.com ASSISTED LIVING • MEMORY CARE RESPITE/SHORT-TERM STAYS ©2021 Five Star Senior Living Call to visit and explore our community.
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