Two Women in Love, Trans Women

by Livia Valana Wolfe

“I, Livia Valana Wolfe, take you, my dearest of all, Rosemary Celeste Browne, to be my love, my best friend, my protectorate, my companion, my Princess Featherweight Ethereal... my wife... forevermore.” From then on, as she and I say, sharing giggles and wiggles until the universe unravels... or our bodies do. We intend to publicly renew our vows to each other at least once a year. Everyday is Valentine’s Day... every day is a perfect time to celebrate love! It’s meant to be shared, so put yourself out there in ways right for you. We all want love, we all need love. It’s the most important thing in life. Not the only important thing, of course, but without it we may all be lost.

My absolutely incredible wife asked this lucky lady to marry her on International Women’s Day 2022. And here we are, two happily married, pansexual, polyamorous trans women! Secretly married in July 2022 (because we couldn’t wait another moment, big smiles), then again publicly in October, married in a beautiful ceremony with our friends and chosen family (and streamed live the the Internet, of course), on a day that turned out to be an absolutely perfect fixed point in time, including my smeared lipstick from kissing my beloved newlywed wife at the altar. There was even a zip line, and goats named after cheeses at our reception. Thanks, fam!

Marriage matters (to me, minus the religious connotations). Other people shouldn’t define what love and commitment is and what it looks like for you and yours. No one else gets to decide what family means to you. We have the freedom to marry, so be free if you like. Let your rainbow love be counted!

Your betrothed is your fiancé. The origin of betrothed, from Middle English, means “be + truth.” Be truthful. Live your truth. If you love someone, declare it to the world. Right now, this is your life, it’s not practice. It’s happening this instant. Go out there and get it, create it, face it, live it!

If you’re in love, in lust, or plan to seek a sexual relationship, then first get yourself tested for STIs/STDs. Consider PrEP treatment and the Monkeypox vaccine for starters. Near the Sacramento area? Contact the Sacramento LGBT Center, the Gender Health Center, and/or your healthcare provider. Please get help and stay safer.

Saint Valentine was a doctor and a priest who was decapitated on February 14, in the year 273. The Emperor of Rome at the time had outlawed marriage so men would be more willing to fight in a war. Doctor Valentine secretly married people in candlelit ceremonies in hidden places of Rome. They all risked life and limb to declare their love and commitment to one another. Valentine was eventually caught, jailed, tortured, and killed. Valentine’s Day is important.

There’s an infinity of what could have been. Sometimes we forget that there have been people, generations of people, who died fighting for what they believed in, who in doing so, have given us all the rights, privileges, and benefits that we have now (even during this post-Roe/trans genocide we are facing). Vigilance, unfortunately, is required to keep, protect, and expand our rights collectively as a people.

Commitment in life, commitment in love, please take it seriously. Love is never foolish and it’s always worth it. Love matters, neurobiochemical or not, love is at the root of humanity. Protect your rights to live and love as an individual, as one of many, as a community. We are legion, legions of the rainbow. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!