Outwords December 2011 Issue 189

outwords queer views, news, issues

Merry Christmas Have a gay old time

your duty criminal lesbian to have HIV to come out bat mitzvah

Man/woman in between

Outwords | December 2011 / January 2012 | Issue 189 | Serving the GLBT Community Since 1994

95

%

of employed Red River College graduates find work in Manitoba.

By far, most RRC graduates remain in Manitoba to contribute to the province’s prosperity, and to its social and cultural vitality. Red River College actively partners with local industry to keep curriculums current, conduct research and exceed the expectations of employers. It’s no wonder RRC grads are in high demand. *Source: 2008/09 Graduate Satisfaction and Employment Report

www.rrc.ca

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5 14 28 36 For kids’ sake Bat Mitzvah Café Dario’s transformative editorial

for two

Latin adventure off menu

music of the WSO

9 32 26 gay is good Howie Dorough Gender pioneer dies international news

8 Tim Hortons boots lesbians national news

10 Winnipeg bids for rainbow LAMBDA

12 Dale Evans

Rides to the rescue

takes the barbs in stride

by design

16 the church

30 the point

22 Out

34 The dark side

needs to speak out

on campus

of Girl/Girl Scene?

of Fire & Smoke

24 wonderful world of Word technology

18

messy laws surrounding HIV

38 Dec. Dilemma! office Xmas party

outwords

editorial

Serving the GLBT Community Since 1994 Issue 189• december 2011 / january 2012

Published by the outwords volunteer staff:

Rachel Morgan editor

Is it a duty to come out?

Gord McDiarmid General manager

M. Buchanan art director & layout

editorial rachel morgan

The tricky issue of

life, I’m sorry, you don’t have to run around

coming out has become even more com-

with a Pride flag and boor the hell out of

plicated with the recent deaths of gay teens

everyone, but you can’t be invisible -- not

Advertising Relations Co-ordinator

in Canada and the U.S. In September, a gay

anymore.” There is nothing ambiguous

Barry Karlenzig

Buffalo, N.Y., teenager killed himself after

about Mercer’s message.

Financial officer

being bullied online.

In early October,

Testo came out publicly in a CBC inter-

Terry Wiebe, Gord McDiarmid distribution

gay Ottawa teenager Jamie Hubley took

view in November. “’Change is not going

his own life after being bullied in school.

to happen until people start stepping up

Vic Hooper

These were only two of a string of

Dylan Bekkering Assistant layout

Devin Frezzi

web manager

Dylan Bekkering - photography; The Foxy Shoppe - clothing; Kevin Geyson, Nicholas James, Erin Bend, Courtenay Wiltshire - models Front page photo

Rachel Morgan, Michele Buchanan, Dylan Bekkering, Corey Shefman, Katrina Caudle, Peter Carlyle-Gordge, Kenton Smith, Brad Tyler-West, Nancy Renwick, Mark Schollenberg, Ken DeLisle, Shanon Vanraes, Linda Hunter, Alex Krosney, Chantele Fry, Jason Clevett contributors to this issue

Debbie Scarborough, Darron Field , Helen Fallding, Shayne Duguay, Gail Eckert Scott Carman, Kevin Hills, Sky Bridges board of directors

outwords

201-63 Albert St. Winnipeg, Manitoba R3B 1G4 Phone: (204) 942-4599 For office hours, please call.

General Inquiries: info@outwords.ca

Editor: editor@outwords.ca Creative: creative@outwords.ca Advertising: advertise@outwords.ca Distribution: distribution@outwords.ca Accounts: billing@outwords.ca Event Submissions: calendar@outwords.ca Letters Submissions: letters@outwords.ca Website: www.outwords.ca Outwords provides news, analysis and entertainment for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit and queer community and its allies. GST 89671 7618RT, ISSN 1715-5606 (print) ISSN 1715-5614 (online) Canada Post Publication Licence 416 99032, Contents copyright © 2011 Outwords Alll rights reserved. Outwords is a member of the Manitoba Magazine Publishers’ Association. Articles are not necessarily the views of the staff, management, or board. We accept no liability for our advertisers’ claims.

suspected gay teen suicides, but they were the most public.

In response, American actor Zachary Quinto came out of the closet to denounce bullying. Canadian TV personality Rick Mercer publicly urged gays in public life, to come out of the closet and be role models for gay teens. And

The point that Quinto, Mercer and Testo are making – hiding in the closet does absolutely nothing to change bigotry and ignorance.

and saying: I’m gay, and I’m a soccer player,’” he said. This was a not-too-subtle way of saying other gay athletes should also come out.

The response to these men’s actions was generally posi-

professional soccer player David Testo, who

tive – as it should be - but the Globe and

lives in Montreal, came out, saying it was

Mail in an editorial said Mercer was wrong

his duty to come out.

to urge people to come out of the closet

Quinto has been making a name for

because it would be an unfair burden that

himself as super villain Sylar in the TV series

no other segment of society faces. They

Heroes and as Spock in the reboot of Star

could be risking their careers, friendships

Trek. He came out in an interview in New

or family connections. Sure, but isn’t that

York Magazine. On his blog he wrote: “It

exactly the point that Quinto, Mercer and

became clear to me in an instant that living

Testo are making? Hiding in the closet does

a gay life without publicly acknowledging

absolutely nothing to change bigotry and

it is simply not enough to make any sig-

ignorance.

nificant contribution to the immense work

More to the point – most adults have

that lies ahead on the road to complete

the strength and supports to survive the

equality.” Although he didn’t actually say

coming out process. The risks may be high,

it, in essence he was challenging other gays

but they can survive and move on. Kids

to come out.

don’t have those same resources. The rules

Mercer was more explicit. On his TV

are different, the stakes are higher. Yes, it is

show, he criticized schools for not doing

up to each of us to decide whether we can

more to deal with bullying and said adults

come out, but fear is a lousy reason to stay

have to take a stronger role in helping gay

in the closet. Not when kids are dying.

O

teens. “So if you’re gay and you’re in public

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

4 5

NATIONAL NEWS

Casey House to see major upgrade TORONTO » Casey House will soon undergo a redevelopment that will allow the specialty HIV hospital to house more patients and to offer a new day health program, which will serve up to 200 regular clients while they remain in their homes and communities, thanks to a planned contribution from the government of Ontario that could reach $29 million. Liberal cabinet ministers Deb Matthews and

Mourners pack church for Jamie

Glen Murray made the announcement which envisions a six-storey

KANATA, ONT. » More than

of life really. It’s so hard, I’m

building. It will contain 14 rooms with private bathrooms, replacing

500 people packed the Holy

sorry, I can’t take it anymore,”

Casey House’s outdated patient rooms. The day program will offer

Redeemer Roman Catholic

Hubley wrote just before he

interdisciplinary treatment for people living with HIV/AIDS in the

Parish for the funeral of

took his own life. “I don’t want

community and will relieve pressure on local hospitals.

15-year-old Jamie Hubley, son

to wait three more years, this

of Ottawa city councilor Allan

hurts too much. How do you

Hubley, in late October. The gay

even know it will get better?

teen killed himself after years

It’s not.” His funeral took place

of homophobic bullying, which

near AY Jackson Secondary

he logged about on social

School, where Hubley, who

media, before committing

was in Grade 10, was trying to

suicide Oct 14. “I am tired

restart a gay-straight alliance.

glass structure that will rise from the back of Casey House’s current

•

HIV hospital to house more patients and to offer a new day health program

COMING OUT What is Inside and OUT? A guide produced by www.getion.ca to share information about sexual health. This monthly print series is adapted from the booklet.

Request a full copy of “Inside and OUT” at coordinator@getiton.ca or download it online at:

www.getiton.ca

Coming out means telling someone you are GLBTTQ. For many, the first person you come out to is yourself, which can be the toughest part of coming out. Coming out to yourself and others is a lifelong journey so be gentle with yourself and remember – you are not alone!

10 TIPS TO CONSIDER WHEN COMING OUT

1 2

Give Yourself Time

Developing your sexuality does not happen overnight or even within a year.

It is a process and a journey. Be patient with yourself.

Coming Out Is Your Decision

T OU

If, when, how and who you decide to come out is entirely your decision.

OUT

& IDE S IN INSID& E

3 4

What Is Best For Your Health?

Coming out and expressing your true self contributes to your overall health. Keep in mind that being in the closet can put a strain on your body, both mentally and emotionally.

How Will You Come Out?

The way we come out to people can have a stronger impact than the message itself. There are many ways to come out. Only you can decide what’s best for each situation.

www.getiton.ca, the GLBTTQ Sexual Health Promotion Coalition website, promotes sexual health awareness to help prevent sexually transmitted infections (STI).

NATIONAL NEWS

Human rights complaint goes forward = XXX =

VANCOUVER » The B.C. Human Rights Tribunal has begun hearing a complaint a gay couple prevented from booking a room at a Grand Forks,

=

?

B.C., bed and breakfast because of the pair’s sexual orientation. Two years ago Shaun Eadie and Brian Thomas filed their complaint against Les and Susan Molnar, who used to own Riverbed Bed and Breakfast. The Molnars had applied to have the complaint dismissed. They have admitted they cancelled the reservation because Eadie and Thomas are gay, but said they did so on account of their own religions convictions.

In March 2010, tribunal member Murray GeigerAdams rejected the request for dismissal. He said the Molnars’ argument that their charter rights to freedom of religion and association trumped Eadie’s and Thomas’ rights was not sufficient to have the hearing thrown out.

5 6 7 8

Homophobic MLA touts cure site VANCOUVER » A B.C. Liberal MLA who once compared homosexuality to gambling, pornography and abortion used time in the legislature recently to promote a church whose leader believes homosexuality can be cured. Maple Ridge-Mission MLA Marc Dalton praised the U.K.-based Alpha organization as “a free forum where people can meet to discuss God, the afterlife and the teachings of Christ.” Gay Vancouver West End

56%

MLA Spencer Chandra Herbert of the NDP wants to know what Premier Christy Clark is

going to do about Dalton’s comments in the legislature. He wonders why one of Clark’s

MLAs is promoting a religious group — and particularly one with questionable views on of Catholic Beleive G gay people “Frankly, what they are saying to gay and lesbian people is: ‘Don’t ever have sex… you’re a genetic abomination,’’ Chandra Herbert charges. “Most Christians would reject this dogma.”

Responding to Negative Reactions

If someone responds negatively to your identity and is not supportive, it’s OK to feel you may need to take a break from that person.

Who Counts As Family?

We may lose some members of our family in the process of coming out but we also gain new family among other GLBTTQ people and their allies.

Violence Is Not Okay

9 10

Respect The Choices of People

It is okay to set boundaries about who you come out to and who you won’t come out to. It’s important for us to respect each other’s choices.

Don’t Out Someone Else

It is common respect among the GLBTTQ community that no one should be outed.

If someone is abusive in any way, you need to take care of your safety first.

What’s With All the Questions?

You might find that you are suddenly asked a lot of GLBTTQ related questions. Know that you do not need to take on this responsibility. There are many resources available for that purpose.

www.getiton.ca

Free safer sex products are available at Nine Circles Community Health Centre, Rainbow Resource Centre and the Gay Men’s Health Clinic.

Wile 69% Beli

NATIONAL NEWS

AIDS committee digs in heals OTTAWA » The board of directors of the AIDS Committee of Ottawa (ACO) has refused to step down following a noconfidence vote at the annual general meeting on Sept 21. Angry at new rules governing its nomination process, members revolted against the board at the AGM. In a statement, the board said it had consulted lawyers and would

Lesbians booted from Timmy’s Chain apologizes to couple BLENHEIM, ONT. » Tim Hortons has apologized to a lesbian couple after they were kicked out of one of the chain’s restaurants in southwestern Ontario. Riley Duckworth, 25, of London, and her partner, Patricia Pattenden, 23, say they were told to leave because

soon meet with its members. “The Board of Directors has received legal advice that confirms its current status and authority as the operating Board of Directors,” stated the release. Community member Mélanie Jubinville-Stafford says the meeting was marred by a group of participants who were unhappy with changes in the ACO structure.

they are lesbians. The pair was asked to leave after a church minister complained. Rev. Eric Revie of Glad Tidings Community Church says he was there with his wife and two children when he

Designer catered to queens

asked the manager to tell the couple to tone it down. Revie says at the time he thought it was a man and woman and found out the

VANCOUVER » Benoit L Richard, a French-Canadian fashion

couple was actually same sex after he complained. “I had my children

designer adored by Vancouver’s drag queens for his originality

there. I asked the manager if she could ask them to tone it down,”

and generosity, had died of liver cancer. He was 64. Drag

he says. “There was a couple that were straddling each other, making

queens relied on Richard to design elaborate costumes at

out … not just kissing, going further than that,” Revie told CFCO radio

rock-bottom prices, according to admirer André Tardif, known

in Chatham. Duckworth says she and Pattenden were outside drinking

as Wilma Cockswell. Richard, who lived in the West End,

coffee with a group of family and friends and kissed once or twice

designed many costumes for emperors and empresses as

but denies they were groping each other. Duckworth said she and

part of the Imperial Court System.

Pattenden were told “to leave within five minutes or the cops would be called. The manager said that our behaviour was inappropriate and that it was a family friendly establishment and it wasn’t acceptable there,” Duckworth said. Alexandra Cygal, manager of public affairs at Tim Hortons’ head office, said it was not the store’s intention to “offend or target anyone based on their sexual orientation.” “Tim Hortons and its restaurant owners have always welcomed all families and communities to their restaurants and will continue to do so,” she said. “The guests’ behaviour went beyond public displays of affection and was making other guests feel uncomfortable,” she said. The management has apologized to the women and invited them back to their restaurant, added Cygal. Duckworth said she was not contacted directly by anyone at Tim Hortons and read the apology for the first time on a website.

204.985.9200 OUTNABOUTTRAVEL.COM

8

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Euro gov’t says TG folk not mentally ill The European Parliament has passed a resolution calling for the World Health Organization (WHO) to stop classifying transgender people as mentally ill.

BRUSSELS » ‘Gender identity disorder’ is currently classified as a ‘mental and behavioural disorder’ in the WHO’s International Classification of Diseases. Many transgender people and clinicians prefer to use the term ‘gender dysphoria’. While the causes are not yet known, research has

Gay pioneer Kameny dies Gay rights pioneer Frank Kameny who coined the phrase ‘gay is good’ and led the struggle for equality all the way to the Supreme Court has died at age 86.

The WHO’s International Classification of

LONDON » A BBC London investigation has

Diseases is under review with the next list to

revealed that at least three women with HIV

be finalized in 2015.

have died after they stopped taking medication on the advice of their pastors. Seriously ill patients suffering from conditions including cancer and HIV are being encouraged by some evangelical Christian churches to depend on prayers rather than pills. Worshippers in

discriminatory laws and the idea

London, Manchester and Glasgow have stopped

that homosexuality is a mental

taking life-saving drugs after being persuaded

disorder – a notion that was

about the healing powers of God, according to

finally dismissed in 1973 by the

research by the African Health Policy Network

American Psychiatric Association,

(AHPN).

who deleted it from their list of

Sources say the Synagogue Church of All

illnesses. A native New Yorker

Nations, with headquarters in south London,

with a Harvard doctorate, Kameny

may be involved in such practices. Its website

took up the struggle for gay rights

shows videos and photographs of people the

in 1957 following his dismissal

church claims to have been “cured” of HIV,

as a government astronomer from

cancers, leg ulcers and fractures. A church

the Army Map Service. When

spokesman said: “We are not the healer. God

investigators from the Civil Service

is the healer. (There is) never a sickness God

Commission discovered that he

cannot heal; never a disease God cannot cure.”

had been arrested by undercover terminated five months after it had

At least three women dead

suggested genetic and hormonal reasons.

WASHINGTON » Kameny challenged

policemen, his employment was

Churches preach prayer over HIV treatment

Hope for AIDS vaccine

started. With the legalization of gay marriages in Washington, D.C., this year, Kameny attended the first

LONDON » Scientists have found a way to

“It’s like an army that has lost its weapons

prevent HIV from damaging the immune

but still has flags, so another army can

weddings. As well, the District of

system and say their discovery may offer

recognize it and attack it,” said Adriano

Columbia has named a portion of

a new approach to developing a vaccine

Boasso of Imperial College London, who led

against AIDS. American and British scientists,

the study. The team now plans to investigate

working in laboratories on the human

how to use this way of inactivating the virus

immunodeficiency virus found it is unable to

and possibly develop it into a vaccine.

17th Street as Frank Kameny Way.

damage the immune system if cholesterol is removed from the virus’s membrane.

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Winnipeg losing out on

PINK DOLLAR

Biz leaders sharpening rainbow marketing strategies

By Mark Schollenberg Friendly GAY Manitoba? What if Manitoba’s licence plate reflected what was possible for tourism in this province? The size of the Canadian LGBT travel market is substantial.

According to the Canadian Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, this market is valued at $7 billion annually. To put that number in perspective, that’s about the size of Canada’s pharmaceutical market. So Manitobans should be asking themselves: how many of those dollars are they capturing? Just how “friendly” is Manitoba?

Rod Zelles of Blue Flame Ventures, a marketing firm that focuses on helping businesses attract the LGBT tourist, recently conducted a survey of Winnipeg hotels to see just how queer-friendly the city is. Only one of Winnipeg’s 50 hotels publicly identifies as LGBTfriendly. Fewer than 1 in 5 hotels were open to assisting LGBT travellers in finding out about local queer events.

While Winnipeg has not yet positioned itself as a destination of choice for the LGBT travel market, the good news is that the city fared better than other prairie cities in Canada. The even better news is that Winnipeg is taking steps towards getting to where we need to be.

Zelles is reaching out to hotels across the country to discuss how they can become friendlier to LGBT travellers. And some hotels have taken the task to heart. “The LGBT market is an important part of our overall marketing strategy,” says Rhonda Sumner of Place Louis Riel. “Our business is focused on ensuring that all of our guests feel welcome.

We train our staff to go the extra mile to ensure that LGBT guests feel at home.”

Tourism Winnipeg is also working to develop a comprehensive strategy to bring more LGBT travellers to the city. In fact, the LGBT market is included in the 2011-2016 Master Tourism Plan for the city. We are already seeing the results of this strategy.

In 2013, Winnipeg will host the World Congress of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Jews. This conference is a big win for the city and shows how a distinct effort can attract major LGBT events.

Winnipeg already has one major advantage over other Canadian destinations. Its Pride festival is one of the most established in the country. Pride, which attracted more than 15,000 people this year, is quickly becoming one of the city’s largest events.

More importantly, Pride draws in visitors from outside the province.

Manitoba has a great deal to offer – a vibrant arts community, a dynamic theatre

november 2011 /january //// www.outwords.ca 2012 // www.outwords.ca outwords,december november2011 2011 www.outwords.ca 10 11 10 outwords,

Tourism Winnipeg is working on a plan to bring more LGBT travellers to Winnipeg. scene and the world’s largest collection of Inuit art. Winnipeg has more than 1,100 restaurants, which reflect its multicultural makeup. The Bombers, Goldeyes and the Jets keep sports fans busy. And across the province there are too many natural wonders to count.

There’s no doubt that we have the attractions to bring in our share of that $7 billion. The question is: how are we readying ourselves for it? We all have a role in helping Manitoba raise its rainbow flag to visitors. We can do more to make LGBT visitors feel more welcome. We can support Pride Winnipeg to host another successful Pride festival. Our businesses can take that extra step to bring in more LGBT visitors. And when making travel choices for ourselves, our friends, our employees and our clients – we can use travel agencies, airlines, hotels that have identified as LGBT-friendly.

– Mark Schollenberg is president of LAMBDA, Manitoba’s LGBT Business Chamber and a small business advisor with RBC Royal Bank.

$

$

$

$

$ $

“You shouldn’t have!”

(but I’m glad you did)

Liquor Mart gift cards. The perfect fit.

How One Gay Man Found His Way Back To God that gives us hope, gives us strength and connects us to a community and a world beyond ourselves. What that is for you, may not be what it is for me.”

I say that to you, the reader, as well. My experience is Christian – Roman Catholic and United. Your experience is uniquely yours and what you take from this article will depend on how you understand and live spirituality.

For me, spirituality is living in relationship with flow, the energy, the spirit of the universe. It’s felt most profoundly in those moments that carry you into a space or time or feeling beyond the ordinary. It’s knowing and feeling the connection with all living things, the past and the future and to

only interesting thing I could find on TV. She was singing but when she finished she talked to the evangelical host of the show and how she had once felt abandoned by God. When she met Roy and started back to church, she realized God hadn’t abandoned her, she had abandoned God. Those words, the article and my own internal struggle brought tears to my eyes.

I had believed God hated me because I was gay. I realized that day it wasn’t true. God created me and I was gay. God loved me and I had run away to become what I was not – straight. I pictured myself turning to my wife and saying, “Not tonight, dear. I haven’t had my shock treatment.” What does that say about her? About me? About God? I determined that day to do whatever I could for other GLBT folk not to go through the pain I had.

Paul’s letter to the Romans, Chapter 9 states “[verse 25] As indeed [it] says in Hosea [Chapter 1 verse 10], ‘Those who were not my people I will call “my people”, and her who was not beloved I will call “beloved”. ’ ‘[Verse 26] And in the very place Dale Evans, movie and TV cowgirl and wife of Roy Rogers, “saved” where it was said to them, “You are not my me. I never had a chance to tell her or to see her reaction about people”, there they shall be called children bringing a gay guy back to God. of the living God.’ [NRSV] It’s true. It happened for me. In 1984, By ken delisle know how wonderful and significant you the national United Church gathered in I never had a chance to tell her or to see her are in that whole cosmos. You are more Morden. One of the topics was whether reaction about bringing a gay guy back to than body and more than or not, gays and I had believed God God. Before I tell you that story, let me tell now. You are connected to lesbians could be hated me because I was you another. the whole and embraced by full members of the gay. I realized that day My spouse, John Robertson, and I are the whole and cared for by church. Ten years it wasn’t true. foster parents. We are also United Church the whole. later, in Morden, ministers. Years ago, in a discussion with Now back to Dale. It was the Conference of two of our sons, one of them asked me, a Sunday morning and I was home alone in Manitoba and Northwestern Ontario, com“Why do you keep talking about this church our townhouse. It was around 1972 and I missioned me as a diaconal minister – the stuff? I’m not going to join the United was about 24. I had gone through behavfirst openly self-declared gay diaconal minisChurch.” iour modification and had been declared ter in the national church history.

My answer was, and is, “I don’t care if cured – I was no longer gay, I was straight.

God is always with us. Are you conyou join the United Church, Baptist Church, For a second time, gay fantasies had nected to God, however you understand Roman Catholic Church or no church. We begun and I had scheduled another round that word? talk about God and spirituality because I of treatments. I was reading an article believe that a whole, healthy person has a about DIGNITY, the Roman Catholic group – Ken DeLisle lives in Selkirk and knows that relationship with the spiritual. Something for gays and lesbians. Dale Evans was the God loves him

12 13

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

spiritual plunge A bat mitzvah for two

After finding a home at Temple Shalom, one lesbian couple has taken a spiritual plunge together, and it doesn’t involve saying “I do” It’s a bat mitzvah.”I think that a Jewish lesbian couple having a joint bat mitzvah is not the norm, and what we want to do very quietly is to show the community that it can be done,” says Sara Raymond, who had a joint bat mitzvah (known as a b’not mitzvah) with her partner, Neire Mercer, on November 19.

But the road to embracing Judaism, and having Judaism accept them, started many years earlier. “For me, having a bat mitzvah is something I always wanted to do,” says Mercer, who converted to Judaism nearly

30 years ago. She says the decision to have an adult bat mitzvah now was influenced by finding a home with the diverse congregation at Winnipeg’s Temple Shalom several years ago. At one time a disaffected Catholic, Mercer first turned to Orthodox Judaism, but found it wasn’t the right fit.

“I gradually went on this journey to find something more suited to me, I went to a number of different synagogues and just wasn’t comfortable at them,” she says. But then she found Temple Shalom, a reform synagogue, and Rabbi Karen Soria, a lesbian Rabbi who welcomes diversity. Soria, who splits her time between Ottawa and Winnipeg, says gay and lesbian Jews have been

sara raymond & neire mercer photo By Shannon VanRaes

14 15

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

By Shannon VanRaes

officially and vociferously welcomed by Reform Judaism for close to 20 years.

Reform Judaism has also established numerous resources, institutions and references to help synagogues become more welcoming to Jewish diversity, including gay and lesbian Jews, whether as individuals, couples, or family units, Soria says.

“Conservative Judaism has, to the best of my knowledge, done much less on an organizational basis. Individual Conservative congregations may be more or less welcoming, reflecting the movement’s long-lasting statements of rejecting marriage between gay and lesbian Jews,” says the rabbi.

“Across Canada, I would expect that Reform

congregations are welcoming and accepting of gay and lesbian Jews; Conservative ones much less so.”

In December 2006, the New York-based Committee on Jewish Law and Standards approved extending blessings to samesex unions, but Soria says the decision was a mixed blessing for LGBT Jews. “Such a statement says to me, ‘a dual relationship is better than nothing, but as long as it’s not

that they are able to read the Torah in its original language. The pair has spent the last year learning Hebrew – with the help of former Rady Jewish Community Centre president Ruth Livingston.

At first glance the pair was daunted by the challenge, but soon came to see modern connections with the text and found unexpected inspiration. “It’s been a challenge not having a lot of information on this text, but the other issue is the issue of women and how women are represented in the Torah,” says Raymond. “They aren’t exactly given a voice ... so it’s been interesting.”

But she adds it’s also been very rewarding, noting the ancient figure of Rebekah has become a role model for her. Mercer agrees. “What I learned through studying the lines and trying to interpret them, is that Rebekah is actually a very strong character, a very strong female character,” says Mercer. “She was one of the matriarchs of the Jewish people and a real trailblazer, because she was independent and has a strong character.”

Rabbi Soria says the increase in adult b’not mitzvahs peaked about 20 years ago and was strongly tied to the empowerment of women at that time. “They started mostly because women had been disenfranchised in synagogue Jewish life, and as women gained knowledge, respect and authority in their secular lives, they wished to gain the same in the Jewish lives. So the first adult celebrations tended to be ‘b’not mitzvah,’ “ she says.

However, Jews who did not have a bar or bat mitzvah as youth or became a Jew by choice as an adult, or those who did have a bar or bat mitzvah, but have continued to

My experiences at Temple Shalom have been most welcoming and affirming. heterosexual it’s not really the right relationship.’ I cannot imagine being satisfied with a blessing when I can get married in a Jewish ceremony,” she says. “Perhaps the ‘blessing’ is as far as the Conservative movement can stretch at the moment, but it sends a message that homosexual relationships are ‘less than’ and inferior to heterosexual ones.”

And that attitude wasn’t lost on Raymond, who was born into the Jewish faith.

When offered the opportunity to have a bat mitzvah at the age of 13, she turned it down. “Growing up, I never did feel comfortable there,” she says. “I felt like an outsider because it was always questions like, who are you going out with? And who are you going to marry?”

That changed with Rabbi Soria and Temple Shalom. “Now as an adult, I feel proud to be either a lesbian Jewess, or a Jewish lesbian. Rabbi Soria and temple Shalom are fabulous,” Raymond says. “It’s nice to be able to go somewhere and not feel like you have to make excuses.”

The preparation for the b’not mitzvah has been intense and has further increased their sense of comfort at synagogue, now

study, may also choose to have an adult synagogue celebration, Soria adds. The process of exploring their faith and confirming their beliefs together has also brought Raymond and Mercer closer as a couple.

“I told Neire I wanted to share an event,” says Raymond. “I mean, gay couples can get married now and all that, but think of how many lesbian, gay couples can have a bar or bat mitzvah together, to me that is such a spiritual bonding.” They both acknowledge that not all synagogues would support this, and that in some areas of the world women would not be able to have adult bat mitzvahs at all.

“I wish they all would, but I grew up in Winnipeg and know that diversity is not universal. Our synagogue is on the cutting edge of diversity,” says Raymond. “The fact that my partner and I can - for our own reasons - can have a joint bat mitzvah is in itself rare.”

Rabbi Soria also found a home at Temple Shalom. “My experiences at Temple Shalom have been most welcoming and affirming. I believe Temple Shalom accepts people for who they are, reflecting all of God’s amazing diversity and creativity. As with all acceptance, it develops over time: we accept ourselves, we feel accepted, we accept others.”

Raymond and Mercer also note the LGBT community has been supported by the Rady JCC, which hosts Anakhnu, a group for Jewish gays and lesbians. Both Mercer and Raymond sit on group’s board of directors. “We have all types of activities where Jewish LGBT people, of all ages, can get together, celebrate Jewish traditions, holidays, events and feel comfortable,” says Raymond. “It’s a riot.”

– Shannon VanRaes is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

15 14

time for churches to take a stand

By Rev. Linda C. Hunter

In the past few months, an avalanche of internet postings have sought to give bullied gay teenagers hope through the “It Gets Better” campaign. Many celebrities, politicians, business professionals and a few brave people from the sports world post short video clips reassuring gay youth that despite the bullying and insults that are hurled at them by their schoolmates, it gets better as they move into adulthood. The message conveyed is “Just hang in there. It gets better.”

However, with the recent death by suicide of a number of gay teens, I have come to the conclusion that such a platitude is not working. Too many youngsters are still dying, by their own hand, because they are aggressively bullied by their peers. “It gets better” just isn’t making it better!

So what is the answer to this ongoing tragedy? Might I strongly suggest that it is time to strike at the heart of where homophobia is given credence; namely, within the walls of the thousands of churches, cathedrals, mosques and synagogues that circle the globe.

Attended a church service lately?

Probably not. You would be part of the 80 per cent of Canadians who have come to shun the church.

However, if you should take your courage in your hands and enter a church, you might be unlucky enough to find yourself in the midst of a

16 17

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

gay-bashing sermon in which select scriptural passages are read and the minster thunders about the perversion of a chosen lifestyle called homosexuality. Eventually, gay and lesbian worshippers are made to feel somewhat better when the minister reassuringly says, “We love the sinner, but hate the sin!”

If we are being utterly honest and truthful, such widespread discrimination of a particular group of people within religious denominations is based on dogma that emanates from so-called “holy texts,” written hundreds of years ago. These human documents have little connection to the lived reality of our 21st century world and yet they are reverently held on high as ancient texts written by God himself (as if God had hands to write and a mouth to speak). Using these texts as weapons, ministers, priests, rabbis and imams are allowed to foment hate against gays and lesbians. And on what basis is this allowed to continue? On the basis of religious freedom which is entrenched in the Charter of Rights, thereby, allowing such a travesty to continue.

Therefore, it is absolutely imperative that those of us in places of power within the church begin to speak out, forcefully and persistently, against such discrimination. I call out to all ministers, of whatever religious stripe, to rise up against their “holy texts” and demand justice for all of God’s human family, especially our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters who have been so grievously wounded by the church now and in the past. If we do that, perhaps the church might become relevant again as a place of unconditional love. Our gay teens deserve nothing less.

– Rev. Linda C. Hunter is the minister of Wild Rose United Church, Calgary, Alberta.

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The law and

HIV trans n o i s s i m

By Peter Carlyle-Gordge

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outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

World AIDS Day is often a time of reflection on the many lives lost to the disease that has been challenging researchers and scientists for three decades.

Much progress has been made in treatments and more is being made but there is no cure on the horizon. What can be said is an Ottawa judge that it is no longer a death threw out four sentence. It’s a treatable, attempted murder manageable disease. charges against Many people are conSteven Boone, tinuing to live with HIV 30, accused and maintain productive, of knowingly meaningful lives, provided transmitting HIV they adhere to their pharmacological regimen and seek help for life-threatening addictions, such as alcoholism or to illegal drugs. Fifteen years ago, an average ife expectancy for people with HIV was seven years or less. Today it is not uncommon for people to live 20 or 30 years post diagnosis. And it may not be HIV or AIDS that finally carries them off.

“In a country like Canada, where antiretroviral drugs are available to everyone at no charge, the likelihood anyone is going to die over the next 25 years from HIV is extremely remote,” says Professor Mark Wainberg, director of the McGill AIDS Centre in Montreal. But even as research vastly improves health and life expectancy, there are other challenges. One is the law, where confusion – and often outright prejudice – abounds.

This past summer, an Ottawa judge threw out four attempted murder charges against Steven Boone, 30, accused of knowingly transmitting HIV, saying it is no longer an “automatic death sentence”, a position the Crown prosecutor put forward.

Ontario Court Justice David Wake dismissed the attempted murder charges, noting that death from HIV is a “possible consequence” but no longer an “inevitable consequence or even a probable consequence” of contracting the virus.

But in November, another judge reinstated the attempted murder charges. The earlier ruling was based on the fact that HIV is no longer inevitably fatal. That decision was flawed, apparently, because it wrongly weighed mediprecedent holds cal evidence that that failing to should have been inform sexual dealt with at partners of trial, according to one’s HIV-positive Justice Albert Roy status…amounts of the Ontario Suto aggravated preme Court, who assault found there was sufficient evidence to merit a trial on attempted murder, which requires proof of intent to kill, and carries a maximum sentence of 14 years.

This is one of the few times in Canada an accused would be tried for attempted murder — rather than aggravated assault or aggravated sexual assault — for failing to inform sexual partners of HIV-positive status.

With the allegation of intent to kill, Boone’s case recalls that of Johnson Aziga, who in 2009 became the first person convicted of first-degree murder in Canada for failing to disclose his HIV-positive status to two women, who later died of AIDS-related cancers.

Boone faces two dozen charges relating to unprotected sexual contact with eight people, including administering a noxious substance and violating the terms of his probation, plus one count of possessing child pornography. But the primary legal problem, soon due to be reviewed by the Supreme Court of Canada in two unrelated cases, is whether sex with a person who has HIV involves a significant risk of serious bodily harm.

The Supreme Court last reviewed the law in the case of Henry Gerard Cuerrier.

That precedent holds that failing to inform sexual partners of one’s HIV-positive status, regardless of whether infection occurs, involves a type consider the of fraud and case of Johnson amounts to agAziga, the first gravated assault. person in Canada Other cases have to be convicted further compliof murder for cated the issue, spreading HIV showing the law is clearly behind the times with respect to medical advances and HIV exposure.

For example, in 2005, a judge instructed a British Columbia jury an accused had no duty to disclose his HIV-positive status if he used a condom at all times. In two other cases, to be jointly appealed at the Supreme Court, the HIV viral load of the accused was so low the risk of transmission was dramatically reduced and did not constitute a “significant risk of serious bodily harm” under the law. Boone’s case is clearly overkill because the charges go beyond aggravated assault to attempted murder, which requires the intent to kill.

AIDS advocates welcomed the quashing of the four attempted murder charges as a victory for common sense and compassion. The problem is, Justice Roy has now ruled that the job of the preliminary hearing judge is not to determine what the evidence means. Rather, it is to determine whether there is enough evidence that a properly instructed jury could reasonably return a guilty verdict. By deciding no reasonable jury could convict on attempted murder in this case the

first judge went too far, Justice Roy ruled. A date for a new trial has not been set.

Most reasonable people would agree that people with an HIV diagnosis should practise safe sex, using condoms. Deliberately having police recently took the unusual unprotected sex with a non-HIV step of getting a court order to partner and not release the name telling them – or lying to and photo of a them – is still a 17-year-old girl they suspected… severe risk and society should of not revealing discourage it. her hiv status Some might even argue that HIV-positive people, already subject to stigma and social rejection, should always disclose their status, whether having protected sex or not, but that might well mean – given fear, ignorance and prejudice on this subject – that they are condemned to a lifetime of celibacy.

Twenty years ago, no Crown prosecutor charged any person with HIV or AIDS with murder because no one had forseen a problem. The Crown finally saw HIV did have a social impact but by then medical advances had ruled out the immediate death problem.

So far, more than 80 people, mostly men, have been charged in Canada with criminal offences for exposing sexual partners to HIV. The Supreme Court of Canada provided the legal basis in a 1998 ruling that someone who does not disclose he or she has HIV does not have their partner’s consent, making the sexual encounter an assault. If you take reasonable precautions such as wearing a condom then you will likely avoid such charges.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

19 18

Now consider the case of Johnson Aziga, the first person in Canada to be convicted of murder for spreading HIV. In 2009, a jury found Aziga guilty of two counts of firstdegree murder for having unprotected sex without telling partners he was HIV-positive.

Some of his victims later died of AIDS-related cancers. Aziga had gay rights activist tested positive Jeremy Dias says for HIV in 1996 police services and was charged should not be in 2003. There is trespassing into no question that the health-care Aziga was totally field and criminally irresponsible and society does have to send out a message to others for such wanton stupidity.

Criminalizing such behavior does bother many professionals. Ottawa gay rights activist Jeremy Dias says police services should not be trespassing into the health-care field.

As he recently told the National Post: “What we have learned from other countries that have criminalized HIV is people don’t get tested. The majority of infections in Canada come from people who are untested. We need to get more people tested.”

Professor Wainberg says it’s morally reprehensible for someone who is HIV-positive to knowingly have unprotected sex, but criminalizing it may cause more harm than good. Ignorance may not be a defence in law but if you don’t know you are positive and don’t ever get tested it seems like a recipe for spreading the disease. The real solution is education and more mass testing, not less.

Says Wainberg: “We lose more than we gain by making HIV a crime. In rare instances, we gain a kind of revenge, some satisfaction

20 21

as a society that we have used the criminal proceedings to incarcerate someone who engages in reprehensible behaviour.”

The Criminal Code does allow for charges of aggravated sexual assault to be laid against someone who is HIV-positive and deliberately has unprotected sex without informing their parta real conflict ner. The key word looming between here is deliberate. privacy rights and If you don’t get societal rights to tested and don’t protection from know your status, dangerous people yet have unprotected sex and pass on the virus you didn’t know you were carrying, can a prosecution succeed since there can be no intent due to your ignorance of status?

There are also major privacy issues around health records and confidentiality.

Despite those, Edmonton police recently took the unusual step of getting a court order to release the name and photo of a 17-year-old girl they suspected of having sex with a number of partners without revealing her HIV status. Police said they got court permission to warn the public about the teenager, alleging she posed a significant risk to the community. Police say their sexual assault detectives began an investigation after two complainants came forward alleging she had unprotected sex with them.

We are on thin ice here, with a real conflict looming between privacy rights and societal rights to protection from dangerous people – if indeed the named woman is dangerous or even HIV-positive. Even if she turned out to be HIV-negative the damage is already done and there is unfortunately the smell of a witch hunt about this case.

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

What is clear is that society is confused about its attitude toward people with a serious but treatable disease. Too many moral judgments are made by people who operate from fear and ignorance. Some people have HIV, after all, because they were born to infected mothers. Given that our prisons already have a Too many moral higher than averjudgments are age rate of HIV made by people infection, often who operate due to HIV being from fear and spread by drug ignorance. use, does it really serve any purpose to imprison people with the disease? Won’t that just add to the problem? In short, the law is a confusing, bewildering mess.

Last year the Ontario Working Group on Criminal Law & HIV Exposure launched the Campaign for Ontario Guidelines for Criminal Prosecutions of HIV Non-disclosure. The group called on Ontario to develop guidelines for handling cases involving allegations of non-disclosure of HIV status. After wide consultations this group concluded that: HIV non-disclosure cases are complex – HIV is a chronic manageable infection, not a death sentence, and HIV is not easy to transmit People living with HIV/AIDS face significant challenges, including social marginalization, stigma and discrimination Crown prosecutors should act with caution and restraint in HIV non-disclosure cases – to which we can only add: Amen.

– Peter Carlyle-Gordge is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012 7:30 p.m., Room W411, Roblin Centre, Red River College, 160 Princess Street Enter through the atrium off William or Elgin entrance and there will be signage by elevator

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www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

20 21

L I VI NG A R AI N B OW KI ND - OF LI FE

Young and out at the University of Winnipeg

By Alex Krosney For some students, moving on to university can seem like the light at the front of a very deep, very dark closet. It can be a different story once students reach university. Setting foot on campus allows many students the chance for a more comfortable step out.

“It is a completely different environment from high school,” says Brett Jones-Melbourne, a second-year student at the University of Winnipeg. Jones-Melbourne, 19, is still in the process of coming out, as most LGBT* university students are. He told his mother he was gay at 16, but his father won’t know until mid-university “because he’s paying for half of it,” Jones-Melbourne explains.

“I never spoke a word about being gay in high school, mostly because I just didn’t want to be labelled as ‘that gay kid’,” he says.

“I didn’t want it to define myself, because I’m more than just gay.

And in high school, that’s all I would have been.”

Lia Zarrillo, a theatre major at the university, resisted being classified solely by her sexuality. She started the “long process” of coming out in the ninth grade, a period she describes as lasting until the end of Grade 11. “It was hard, and it sucked for a long time,” Zarrillo says. “I went to a school in North Kildonan, where there were no gay people. It was literally just straight people. Awesome people, super-cool people, but very, very heteronormative.”

Like Jones-Melbourne, she didn’t want her sexuality to take away from the full high-school experience. Involved in everything from the theatre to sports to student council, being gay “never really held me back from any of that,” says Zarrillo, now 20.

Coming to an open-minded campus like the University of Winnipeg

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outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Lia Zarillo finds the University of Winnipeg to be a welcoming environment but COMING OUT IS NEVER SIMPLE let her continue to be open about her sexuality without being defined by it.

“I’ve always been very proud of who I am, and I’m proud to be gay and I’m proud to be out and open with my sexuality and everything, but it’s never been the most interesting thing about me no matter where I go,” she says. “That’s what’s cool about this campus … I’ve never felt that’s what defines me in the eyes of the people who are around me.”

Ryan Friesen, another theatre student, agrees. “It’s not the first thing I want people to know about me,” he says. He likens understanding his sexuality as a facet of his personality to understanding how to act a character. Just like performing a character with only one trait is ineffective, relying on one aspect of

YES, I’m that’s not all I GAY, but have to offer

kevin tan

Jennifer barbosa

Katherine ballard

a person to define them doesn’t work well either. “It’s made me accepting of others, and helps me to understand yes, I’m gay, but that’s not all I have to offer or that I bring.”

For some students, university is the first place they’ve been able to connect with a supportive LGBT* community, particularly of their own generation. The University of Winnipeg is home to an LGBT* centre that provides a support system for students coming out.

“It’s kind of like a constant process of coming out,” 19-yearold Katherine Ballard, a member of the University of Winnipeg’s Centre, says of the struggle for identity people face every day. She first came out to her family in the summer after Grade 11, before going back for Grade 12 where a ‘high school’ kind of mindset left people gossiping about her sexuality. “Nobody talked bad to my face or anything, but I knew people were talking about me because people who I hadn’t talked to knew.”

Ballard sees that the improvement from high school to university has more to do with the people she’s connected with in this new environment. “My strongest friends are around here in the centre,” she says, “so I can kind of choose who I associate with. In high school you’re all just kind of lumped in together.”

Jennifer Barbosa, who at 17 is a student at the University of Winnipeg Collegiate, was reluctant to join the LGBT* Centre.

She struggled initially with being open about her sexuality with a group of people she didn’t know, but has since become much more involved with the community. “I haven’t told anyone else aside from my friends, my two sisters and my mom. I’m still working on that,” she says about her sexuality. “My mom, she’s understanding and she’s supportive, but she doesn’t fully get what it means to be gay.”

Barbosa turned to the LGBT* centre to make sure resources were available for incoming students to the Collegiate “who were

RYAN FRIESEN

put in the same shoes” as her – nervous and openly gay. “I feel like coming to this school made it easier for me. I want that to be available to newcoming students,” says Barbosa, who now runs the collegiate’s gay-straight alliance.

For 19-year-old Kevin Tan, coming out to his family seemed like an uphill battle, especially combating his mother’s belief that all gay Filipino males are makeup wearing cross-dressers.

Connecting to the gay community and being honest about his sexuality made an enormous difference in his life. “All of my friends were like, ‘Everything’s changed with you. You’re so much happier, you’re not into yourself anymore, you’re just out there’.”

Tan and his friends coined the term “living a rainbow kind of life,” partially in reference to the LGBT* rainbow flag, to represent an open life where “everything is good and happy. I’m going to get that tattooed on my body,” he says.

While everyone’s coming out stories are different, the process is something every queer individual will go through – and continue to go through for the rest of their life. Does it get easier after that first step out of the closet? Yes, say most youth, and being part of an environment open to the LGBT* community helps. Coming out and being out at the University of Winnipeg gives youth a chance be honest about a part of their personality.

Taking that first step out, no matter how intimidating, is all you can do, says Zarrillo.

“When I did come out, I just took a coat from the closet. It was a little chilly out there … I needed to bundle up a little bit, but friends were awesome, family was awesome, everyone was really cool, and it was fine.”

– Alex Krosney is a University of Winnipeg student.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

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word

Word

down box, users get free word processing, spreadsheets and presentation creation software. To devoted users of OpenOffice, people who pay for Word are really just paying for the bells and whistles that Microsoft can afford to include in its software. That point is valid – to an extent. The basic computer user, someone who might just be word processing to write letters or take notes (in other words – using it simply as a replacement for pen and paper) will definitely be satisfied with OpenOffice. It gets you where you need to go. But it doesn’t do much more than that. OpenOffice has limited templates, few creative options and let’s be honest, is pretty ugly. It also (at least in my experience) struggles to integrate with the rest of your Windows software, which Word does easily. On the other hand, it is entirely free.

Google Docs has been the favourite of students and collaborative projects for a few years now. Because all of the data is stored with Google (and associated with your Google account) you never have to worry about backing up your documents. Even better, you can have multiple authors working on the same document at the same time, watching each other’s edits and saving instantly – a huge time-saver for students. The apps themselves are unquestionably stripped down.

They lack the customization options, templates, creative features and ease-of-use features of Word, sometimes to the point where your ability to complete your document is hindered. But again, they’re free, and as a Google user, they’re easily accessible from any of your online services.

– Corey Shefman is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

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word Word

WORD

Word

word

There’s more than one way to write a letter...

Microsoft Word has become synonymous with what used to be known simply as “word processing”.

Where it once competed with Wordperfect and later Apple’s iWork, today Word has by some estimates up to 90 per cent of the market share in word processors. The remaining 10 per cent may be professionals using Wordperfect for a specialized market, low-income families and students using free services such as OpenOffice or Google Docs and Apple fanatics sworn to iWork.

But how does Word’s competition add up? Is it really worth $179 to buy a single copy of Word (or between $129 and $669 for various Office configurations, including programs like Excel, Powerpoint and Outlook)?

Today, all of the word processing formats are more or less compatible with each other (though that was not always the case). To pick one over the other, consumers should look primarily to features and ease of use. Word is the most popular and for good reason.

Especially since the new “ribbon” user interface was introduced, the program is designed to make creating different types of documents quick and painless.

The new 2007 and 2010 versions of the software also introduced more creative options. Word will become increasingly useful with the release of Windows 8 expected in 2012. The new Windows is said to have deep integration with Microsoft’s online versions of Word, Excel and Powerpoint.

OpenOffice is an open source take on Microsoft Word. With the same basic functionality in a stripped

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Word WordWor

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“Ninety per cent of the world uses Microsoft Word, but there are other options you should be aware of.”

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012 7:30 p.m., Room W411, Roblin Centre, Red River College, 160 Princess Street Enter through the atrium off William or Elgin entrance and there will be signage by elevator

outwords

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

25 24

Stretch.

Yawn.

Get out of bed.

Go back to bed.

Clothes.

Who am I today?

-Photo essay by Chantele Fry

Chantele Fry, who is attempting to finish a three-year degree in merely 12 months, has flavoured her degree with child-rearing and multimedia art installations.

Piss. Coffee. Stretch. Yawn. Gender. Coffee.

Stretch. Yawn. Piss. Coffee. Stretch. Yawn.

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outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Gender. Coffee. Stretch.

Do you recognize yourself yet?

Coffee? . Gender? Coffee. er nd Ge d. be of t Get ou

Distorted.

Coffee. Clothes. Clothes? Coffee.

Reflection.

• Desire.

• Object.

• Subject.

• Coffee.

• Stretch.

Can you see

. Lipstick. Lips. Gender?

me now?

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

26 27

Café Dario

More than a touch of Latin

off menu kenton smith

Colombian-born Dario Gutierrez took the long way around to living his passion.

“Both my parents were anthropologists,” says the animated 60 yearold owner of eponymous Café Dario, named by the National Post in 2007 as one of the best places to eat in Canada. Gutierrez studied the same subject at Berkeley in California, Beloit College in Wisconsin, and finally the University of Manitoba, which is how he first arrived in Winnipeg in the late ‘70s.

That was after he’d decided to forget his dream of being a chef – and after having studied in France and Spain, no less.

There’d be no denying himself in the long run, however, and today Gutierrez – lionized among foodies in Winnipeg and beyond for his Nuevo Latin cuisine – can happily say his was an ambition fulfilled.

Yet there’s no pretension in him. He even regards the title chef with some ambivalence. “Chef? Oh, fuck off. I’m a cook.”

You’d think it was something other than black coffee he’s drinking as he freely dispenses his thoughts.

Those include his candid assessment of much of the Winnipeg dining scene. “It’s maybe a bit of a rip-off, what you pay a lot of the time.” His own model of success has been a seeming contradiction in terms: to use his words, what he offers at Café Dario on Erin Street and its offshoot The Maple Tree in the City of Selkirk, is fine dining at a low price.

Today Gutierrez divides his time between his flagship restaurant, a stone’s throw from Tec Voc High School, and its out-of-town sibling – located across from a steel rolling mill. He would seem to have

Dario Gutierrez wants to expand diners’ appreciation of Latin fare.

28 29

dario Gutierrez

a thing for unconventional locations, but in the case of the former, he insists it’s perfectly situated. “From Filipino to El Salvadoran residents, the West End is possibly the city’s most diverse neighbourhood,” he says. “To me, this is the UN.” And that’s exactly what he wanted his eatery to capture – a feeling of diversity and eclecticism. That’s also fitting given how he describes the complexity of Latin cuisine, which he says has become “a world one, in a tropical setting. This is what makes it unique. “It’s very original, very regional, very flavourful and very eclectic.”

The model that’s proven successful in the case of both restaurants is a high-value prix fixe menu, offering multiple courses for under $40. Nearly half the menu changes about twice weekly, setting up an ever-constant revolution of new creations.

“It’s a way to maintain costs, both for the diner and for the restaurant,” Gutierrez

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

says. “We source ingredients less expensively, and produce a menu.”

The Winnipeg restaurant is in the middle of an important transition: Gutierrez and staff are now attempting to introduce more “in-depth” Latin elements. “Now that Winnipeg diners have been educated as to the basics, they’re ready to expand their horizons.” Kep an eye out for matambre, an Argentinean flank steak rolled and filled with a variety of ingredients. Or an array of Brazilian-style cured and dried meats. Or perhaps a Chilean seafood casserole. It’s not like the chef is afraid of the unconventional.

“We put alpaca on the menu. How did it work out? Phenomenally!”

– Kenton Smith is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

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These Girl Aren’t Ver That’s The

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outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

If you were a young talented lesbian looking for the perfect way to show off your creative works, what would you choose? For Tucky Williams (pictured centre left), the writer, actress and producer of the Internet serial Girl/Girl Scene, there was only one choice.

“The web is really the only place to put new content,” says Williams. “It’s where entertainment is moving to – being specialized.

We can see the future and what’s happening. People are really going to find what they need.”

Girl/Girl Scene follows a handful of friends (or not-friends as the case may be) as they interact in a middle America town/ Shot in Williams’ home state of Kentucky.

The series is brought to life more by the charisma of the actresses than by the stories. Considering that the women spend their time drugging each other, posting sex tapes online, committing emotional blackmail, and a disregarding any social conscience or responsibility – it’s hard to understand why they all stick around.

ls ry Nice…

Point

But maybe that’s the point.

“The show is young, and fun, and about being gay and not being tortured by it. They do terrible things,” Williams says with a laugh. “They’re not very nice people.

But not all lesbians want to get married and

You can view all the episodes and read more about the cast at girlgirlscene.com have a baby. Our girls wants to have fun.”

Girl/Girl Scene has moments of genuine brilliance and hilarity. The humour throughout the series is quirky and personal, ranging from a Terminator impression (referring to one of Williams’ favourite movies) to the awful yellow kitchen glove that appears in a few episodes as an unfortunate safer sex aid.

It’s hard to love the characters. Their inability to operate outside of the realm of ego or to show genuine love and develop mature emotional connections reminds one of high school hell. But again, maybe that’s the point.

Williams’ own history is more complex than one might assume. Besides acting in several indie horror films, she has a degree in meteorology and two years ago, was diagnosed with epilepsy. She takes every opportunity to talk about it. “When someone is having a seizure, don’t put anything in their mouth. You could seriously hurt them,” she cautions. “It’s really painful to watch, but the person having the seizure can’t feel it. Just be kind and take care of the person.”

Unlike her character in the show, Williams doesn’t go out much, doesn’t do drugs or drink alcohol, and has a great relationship with her parents. And in defence of the over-the-top drama, sometimes

we don’t want to be redeemed.

After all, when we watch television we’re often looking to delve into the realm of our fantasies. “A lot of the inspiration comes from my life,” Williams says. With a distinct change of voice, she adds, “Or what I’d like my like to look like.”

Though Williams has a lot of time to hone her craft as she grows as an artist – her charm, warmth, and good humour already shine through. “I like to stay up late writing – how sexy is that?” she says with a laugh. “I would love to find a girl who thought that was hot. She also has to like to kiss me. But I’m not really a cuddler. I’m working on it.” Not to mention having the ambition and drive to write, star in, and produce your own series – while scoring some pretty sweet sponsorships and quoting a bit of philosophy on the side.

While Williams was studying in school, she was mentored in creative writing by one a poet laureate in Kentucky. “He was hard on me,” Tucky remembers, which gratitude.

“He told me that art was pointless if it didn’t go into the deep recesses of our soul.” The response to that can be only one thing: Give us more than the amoral fantasies and let the soul of the work, the humour and complexity of humans shine through. We’ll wait, gladly.

The newest episode of Girl/Girl Scene was released on October 24. You can view all the episodes and more about the cast at girlgirlscene.com.

– Katrina Caudle is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

30 31

Howie Dorough can’t stand still

Life after Back Street Boys a blast

By Jason Clevett

To say Howie Dorough is a busy man would be an understatement. Famous as one of the Backstreet Boys, he just wrapped up the North American leg of the NKOTBSB tour, and is embarking on a South American Tour opening for Britney Spears before NKOTBSB hits Europe. He manages the Canadian band Neverest and just released his first solo album Back To Me. The question has to be asked, why release an album amidst so much going on?

“Timing is everything,” says Dorough. “I have been working on this album on and off for five years, I started in a Latin direction and then got more centred with the sound I wanted it to be within the last year here. I felt like right now the momentum we have and visibility we are able to create in towns on this tour almost piggybacks to a point.

“Nick Carter, Jordan Knight and myself all have solo records coming out,” Dorough told Outwords. “For some people in this situation, there would be too much to focus on with the tour and if they were to release a record this would not be good timing for them because if they are not capitalizing on it with radio and TV and press, if you have the opportunity and you can capitalize on it, it is a winwin situation. If you have it and you don’t capitalize on it and you just let the album sit out there you lose momentum.

“That is why I am trying to strike right now while the iron is hot, and I am blessed I heard that my single went to No. 1 on the MuchMoreMusic countdown,” says Dorough. “It is due to a lot

of the fans and hype around the tour that is helping me as well. The album was supposed to be out in August but got pushed back because the original deal was done in Japan, and when the tsunami happened we had to push things back to November. But I really wanted to capitalize upon the fact that I was going to be in the States and Canada. We signed a deal in Canada with Fontana music who is a

ent mindframe and I get excited about it, then I work on my solo project it puts me in a different mindframe that I am able to get excited about that. Not one thing gets too boring after awhile.”

In 1996 the Backstreet Boys first got noticed in Canada, and there has been great support for the band ever since.

Dorough expects that support to continue with his solo album. “I am very blessed that I have a lot of Canadian love,” says Dorough.

“In addition to Backstreet Boys and my solo project I have a management company here in Canada called 3 Street with another gentlemen named CJ Huyer who used to be in a boy band called 3 Deep (with Young and The Restless stars Eddie Cibrian and Joshua Morrow) several years ago. We had an artist named George Nozuka who did really well on the charts here and our newest project the band Neverest who actually opened up for us in Canada on this tour.

“I learned a lot about the Canadian market and the tricks and trades about things like you guys being very helpful to Canadian singers and writers,” Dorough says. “My first single was written and produced by a Canadian group of guys and the video was directed by a Juno award winner. The songs have been really accepted here and I am really thankful. I have a great record label, publicity company, radio reps, it is a total win-win situation for me up here.”

The Backstreet Boys have certainly counted members of the LGBT commu-

I find that I get bored very easily if I am not working on several things at once. label I use with artists that I manage. I felt the timing was right to capitalize on press and use this momentum and platform to launch it.”

Outwords caught up with Dorough backstage before a recent concert in Calgary. His schedule included leaving Edmonton at 2 a.m., being on TV in the morning, additional media in the afternoon, a two and a half hour concert, and a public after-party at a Calgary bar. It is a breakneck schedule but Dorough loves it.

“I have a lot of energy,” says Dorough. “Since I was a little kid I have always been a workaholic - I need a lot of stimulation. My mom had me doing everything from dance to voice to acting to piano, everything she could think of to keep me stimulated. I find that I get bored very easily if I am not working on several things at once. When I am doing one thing I get an itch to try and do other things and help in other ways. By helping other artists it puts me in a totally differ-

nity as faithful fans. But they have experienced their share of homophobia as well.

“It comes with the territory,” says Dorough.

“I can definitely say when we started you try and go out and give your all and there is a lot of jealousy out there in the world, especially from guys to guys and it is sad. Instead of narcing on the music, come to the concerts. There are so many women here, your odds of picking up girls is so great here you would be foolish not to come.

“Guys won’t admit it to us but sometimes their girls might be into us and they will use our music to get the girls, but then when it comes to seeing us eye to eye they always want to throw in slurs and whatever,” says Dorough. “I have a pretty thick skin, my family has kept me pretty well grounded. I have always believed in to each their own, I have a cousin who is gay and to me I have always been someone who doesn’t judge anybody and appreciate when people don’t judge you. If they have the time to be thinking those things, at least they are thinking about us.”

The band has shown its support for the LGBT community in return, including as parade marshals for the 2010 San Francisco Pride Parade. “We were asked to be the parade marshalls and it was an honour, very flattering,” says Dorough. “With a gay cousin and several of my wife’s girlfriends are lesbians, I have no issues at all. A lot of people came to the parade and were supporting us. Our music is out there for everybody,. I don’t care what colour, race, sexual orientation, it is about making good music that makes people happy. I am very, very thankful to our gay fans. They are a huge part of our success. I support them, and am glad they support us in our music.”

If you want to know more about Dorough’s music and his band’s schedule, check out www.HowieD.com.

– Jason Clevett is a Calgary-based freelance writer.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

33 32

The darker side

By Katrina Caudle

In the dim warm lights of the stage, one can almost see the embers dancing and the smoke curling as the duo Fire & Smoke share their stories of love unfulfilled, restless hearts, and the pull of the open road.

With Claire Morrison’s rich voice and Daniel Peloquin-Hopfner’s stirring melodies, the music takes you. “Performing is the most terrifying and comfortable experience all at once,” Morrison says. “It’s where my soul and the souls of others are most visible.”

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outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca Photo by rafy

“It’s where my soul and the souls of others are most visible.”

The young singer, who had her first performance at the age of three, met PeloquinHopfner fittingly by a campfire at Folk Fest as she was wandering through the campground, following the music.

“Dan was playing and I just sat down and we started playing together,” she remembers. After the festival, Dan tracked her down through Facebook and they spent almost every day of the summer practicing together.

“I spent my first year at University of Winnipeg and I was accomplishing a lot of things, but they weren’t meaningful to me in the way I needed them to be,” says Morrison. “It was like the universe saw me struggling and said we’re going to give you a little help. I found something I had wanted to do the whole time but just wasn’t sure how.”

The duo’s debut, a soulful folk EP, appropriately named Maiden Voyage, was released November 26 at a new Winnipeg venue, Pop Soda’s Coffeehouse and Gallery on Portage Avenue. Morrison chose the comfy venue because of the warmth and lovely, enthusiastic crowd the space draws.

“I love performing at Pop Soda’s because the lights were on and the audience was so comfortable,” she says. “There’s a reason we applaud performances. Most performers need that validation. Having the house lights on at a show almost holds the audience accountable in some way. The per-

former can see them just as fully as they can see the artist on stage.”

Four of the five songs on the EP were penned by Morrison and, as she says, do not speak so kindly of love. “I tend to be drawn to the dark horse,” the redhead says.

“I guess because I can see myself in it. I’ve tried having partners were it makes sense that we would work, people who have been more grounded. But it doesn’t last. All of my trouble is self-created.”

The singer, born under the darker sign of Scorpio on Day of the Dead, is no stranger to the kind of trouble love can bring. “I’m really good at getting myself into trouble. There’s almost a honeymoon period where you’re getting away with it that’s very exciting before the bad stuff kicks in.”

Though her adventures in love have included heartbreak, Morrison maintains an open and grounded heart by sharing her music and thoughts on how her song can create connections. “I like using second person pronouns because I want the song to be as relevant as possible, to speak to everyone. If it’s very clear that a song talks about a heterosexual or homosexual relationship by the use of gendered pronouns, this can sometimes act as a barrier for a certain portion of listeners who won’t necessarily feel your lyrics as deeply. Sometimes if a song is very specifically about one person, I’ll use a third-person gendered pronoun, but otherwise I prefer to keep it pretty ambiguous,” she says.

When asked about her own dating preferences, the singer smiles and says: “I date everyone. No one’s safe!” One song in particular on the EP, Dead Man’s Love, shows Morrison’s playful and thoughtful reveal of her more intimate feelings with her audi-

ence. “There’s a line ‘I’ve sold many men the rope to hang themselves, and a couple of ladies, too. I’ve never played a show where no one reacted to it. It’s a great time for me to share a giggle with my listeners.”

Growing up in Winnipeg’s unique music scene has definitely influenced Morrison for the better. “Winnipeg is a centre for folk and roots music,” she says. “I’ve spent a fair amount of time in other cities and it’s very warm here. I was a baby on the scene since I was 18 when Fire & Smoke was formed.

I was lucky to start in a place where they were excited to have another musician.

With Montreal and Vancouver, there’s not as much musician to musician support. That’s where people go to get their big break and nothing’s going to stop them. That makes for a colder scene.”

Despite her youth, Morrison already has a good handle on the business of art and uses her strong love of aesthetics and poetry through Fire & Smoke’s work. The nautical concept and name of the album came together as a package deal in her mind and the pair spent long thoughtful hours on choosing their name. “We wanted something that represented us,” she says.

“We started asking each other some pretty personal questions to get to the meat of it. Dan can be pretty elusive and wanders.

Besides the red hair, I can be warm but very dangerous if I’m unimpressed.”

Fire & Smoke’s EP “Maiden Voyage” is available for purchase through their website www.fireandsmokemusic.com or by e-mailing fireandsmokemusic@gmail.com.

– Katrina Caudle is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december 2011/january 2012

34 35

Live music has been called transformative.

What does this mean and how would you try to convince listeners that it is a better experience than sitting at home listening to the same music on their stereos or iPods?

It IS transformative, when the stars align and the performance just has that little extra intangible element. It is also direct and unadulterated, as opposed to pretty much all recordings, including live ones. No question that the editing and proofing and tweaking and patching involved in producing a typical recording, pop or classical, generally produces a more idealized, more perfect sound, but it is far from spontaneous and free. I think both performers and listeners are expecting a more holistic experience, with less attention to the nitty gritty of each note and nuance. There is also something very inspiring seeing the skill and the sweat that goes into a performance that heightens the thrill of a live show for me.

a gift of music Richard Lee, the WSO’s resident conductor From the time his mother sat him down at a toy piano when he was three years old, Richard Lee has spent his life immersed in music. Formerly conductor-in-residence of the Thunder Bay Symphony Orchestra and assistant conductor of the Quebec Symphony Orchestra, Richard is currently resident conductor of the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra, conductor of the University of Manitoba Symphony Orchestra, as well as music director of the Korean Canadian Symphony Orchestra, based in Toronto.

Some people might say the WSO is almost an anachronism – a form of entertainment developed for a past era. How do you attract audiences with shorter attention spans who are accustomed to the digital age of entertainment?

This has always been a strange concept to me, almost like saying music is an anachronism. On a fundamental level, music is music. Good music is good music. Bad music is bad music. Whether it is produced by a lute, acoustic guitar, Fender Stratocaster or computer, it still has to stimulate you intellectually, musically and artistically, assuming that you’re really listening to it. Certainly, newer is not always better, at least when it comes to music, anyway. It is true that many of the instruments that the WSO musicians play on stage are less familiar to many of us. This is a sad indictment of the incredible lack of breadth in the typical North American school. I was one of the lucky ones, as music, particularly classical, was always playing around the house when I was growing up.

By Rachel Morgan

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outwords, december2011/january 2012

// www.outwords.ca

It is definitely true that it is hard to deal with the length and complexity of an average classical music concert. Even I get tired and bored listening sometimes! The most obvious solution to the attention span issue is keeping the length of the show on the shorter side, my preference being around 70 minutes of music, which is much less than average.

The WSO has the Soundbytes series, which will feature shorter classical works, and will always feature some sort of narration and analysis to help listeners contextualize and appreciate the music at a deeper level. Not to say that it’s all on us. I hope that society figures out soon that the good stuff in life isn’t all flash and dash.

This season’s lineup is an eclectic mix of wellknown classical composers, modern composers who aren’t well known to audiences, and includes music from rock (Procol Harum, Moody Blues), and something for kids. How did the WSO choose this year’s lineup?

Eclectic pretty much sums of every WSO season. Winnipeg is a city with a broad range of tastes in music, from the most exotic and challenging, to the popular and tuneful. With this incredible range and variety in mind, the WSO’s programming committee, with music director Alexander Mickelthwate at the helm, tries to come up with literally something for everyone.

Try this...flip through the WSO brochure or browse its website and I guarantee that there’s a concert or two or 10 that you wouldn’t mind seeing.

What are the challenges in presenting such an eclectic range of music?

Flexibility, period. Within classical music, one plays Bach differently than Beethoven, who is in turn very different than Berg.

Add prog rock, jazz, pop, ballet, ethnic, film score, etc. to this mix and you get a sense of how flexible the musicians have to be. Sometimes, we do three wildly different programs in the same week! It’s a real challenge, but we’re very, very good at adapting.

WSO 2011/12 concerts

What are the most interesting pieces for you to perform and why?

Intellectually, modern music can be complex, difficult to study and subsequently conduct. Artistically, I love classical music (Mozart, for example) and baroque music (Bach). Undeniable beauty and craft, but the music itself has so few instructions on how to perform it. Sometimes the composer doesn’t even tell you how fast it goes! It’s a challenge to bring a work of music like that to life.

How do you attract great musicians/conductors to Winnipeg?

It’s important to clarify here that in many cases, the best-known musicians and conductors are not necessarily the greatest ones. I think great musicians will want to make music in a meaningful way, wherever that might be. I think Winnipeg is a charming and exotic locale to many. Certainly, you would not be able to experience a winter like ours while working with a great orchestra at the same time in many other places! Having said that, money is definitely a factor.

For orchestral musicians, the reputation of the Winnipeg Symphony within North America suffices to attract good candidates to audition here. Affordable housing helps, too.

Are you able to tap local talent for the orchestra?

An orchestra at the level of the Winnipeg Symphony must be able to attract strong players from everywhere. There is a contingent of locals, though, including Ray Chrunyk, who also serves as our librarian. The majority of musicians are from outside the province though. For soloists, we certainly try to use locals whenever possible, as audiences certainly want to see “themselves” featured on stage whenever possible.

What are Winnipeg audiences like in comparison to those in other cities where you have worked?

It’s hard to generalize, but I would say that our audiences are incredibly proud of the WSO, and of Winnipeg in general. It seems to me that our audiences are typically Canadian in not being so overt and direct showing this though, especially at concerts.

There’s much less cheering and clapping post-concert than say in Quebec City, for example. I’ve booed lustily at an opera in Toronto (along with many others!), and I find it hard to picture here.

Does Winnipeg need to expand or improve its venues for symphony orchestras?

Yup. It’s difficult to explain how a hall affects the sound of the orchestra. A mediocre orchestra in a great hall can sound as good as a great orchestra in a mediocre hall. Essentially, the problem lies with when our hall was built and it follows the trend of most halls of that era. Too large, multipurpose. The new hall in Montreal, for example, is made specifically for the OSM and seats 200 fewer patrons. The OSM itself is about 40 musicians larger (and louder) than the WSO and Montreal is roughly three times larger than Winnipeg.

The Centennial Concert Hall, to its credit, has vastly improved the hall over the last three years, updating antiquated equipment and adding a system that enhances the acoustics of the hall. Nevertheless, it remains limited by its basic structure and purpose. No hall can accommodate musicals, pop acts, opera and orchestras and do everything well. I think it’s a very good venue for opera.

If there were something you could do that was outside the box – money and audiences be damned – what would it be?

Easy, make concerts free. Or at least extremely inexpensive. And probably burn our white bow ties and tails. Anything to make us seem less “elitist”. If you heard the conversations that often take place in my carpool, you would have a hard time picturing us in tails and fancy gowns.

– For more information on the WSO’s 2011/12 lineup, go to www.wso.ca

Mathieu & Sibelius Dec 2, 3 – The program features Mathieu’s most ambitious, ardently romantic work, performed by the composer’s leading supporter, Alain Lefèvre.

A Judy Garland Christmas – Songs My Mother Taught Me Dec. 9, 10, 11 – Lorna Luft promises fabulous singing, video screen scenes of Lorna and Judy together and great arrangements.

Messiah Dec. 17 – A WSO tradition! No work in the entire history of music transmits the urge to want to sing more than Handel’s Messiah!

HOT! HOT! HOT! A Night at the Copa Jan. 20, 21, 22 – Andrzej and Jennifer Przybyl star in this dazzling show featuring the cha cha, mambo and Latin hustle.

Mozart & Schubert Jan. 13, 14 – A Mozart concerto-times-four and a chance to hear the WSO’s fabulous principal wind players in one of his most delightful compositions!

Saariaho & Kancheli Jan. 28 – Kaija Saariaho will present her monumental work Graal Theatre for violin and orchestra. Also featured is Giya Kancheli’s most celebrated work Styx.

Sveinsson (of Sigur Rós) & Jóhannsson: World Premiere Feb. 3 I – Credo by Kjartan Sveinsson, keyboardist of the Icelandic band Sigur Rós. Also featured is fellow Icelandic composer Jóhann Jóhannsson.

For Michael – The Music of Michael Jackson Feb. 10, 11, 12 – With Michael Jackson classics like Billy Jean, Off the Wall, Beat it, The Way You Make Me Feel, Thriller and more, you will be dancing up a storm in the aisles.

American Masters Feb. 17, 18 – North American composers are featured in this colourful and vividly themed program, along with Augustin Hadelich and Larry Rachleff.

Dvorˇák’s New World Symphony Feb. 25 – The WSO is proud to introduce an acclaimed and exciting multi-media presentation created by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.

Parker Plays Brahms No. 2 March 2, 3 – Jon Kimura Parker performs Brahms’s Piano Concerto No. 2.

Broadway Rocks March 16, 17, 18 – Broadway Rocks features the best in up-tempo hits from rock-inspired smash shows such as Wicked, Jesus Christ Superstar and more.

Dawn Upshaw March 23, 24 – Dawn Upshaw performs an opera and concert repertoire ranging from the sacred works of Bach to the freshest sounds of today.

Brahms Requiem April 7 – This is the German Requiem, composed in tribute to his late mother, that first won international success for Brahms.

The Manhattan Transfer April 13, 14, 15 – Combined with the original members of The Manhattan Transfer and the WSO, and you get an event to remember.

Buster Keaton’s the General April 28 – The WSO presents Keaton’s 1926 silent masterpiece The General in a digitally restored print with Carl Davis’s celebrated musical score performed live.

Mahler: Symphony No. 2 May 4, 5 – Mahler’s monumental Resurrection Symphony and his Symphony No. 2 is an overwhelming experience and an unforgettable journey.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, december2011/january 2012

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connection coach Brad tyler-west

Before you hit the "Not attending" button you might want to ask yourself some questions.

December Dilemma Should you attend the office party?

This is the time of year when folks at work celebrate the varied reasons for the solstice season. For many of us the decision to attend the office party is complicated. What if you’re closeted at work? Or what if you’re not comfortable sharing your personal life at work? Should you go alone? If you go alone, what does this say about your partner? All of these questions are enough to make us click the “Not able to attend “button!

1. Outcome Desired How invested are you in this job or company? If it is a one of those survival jobs that is a stepping stone to something better in the future, then not attending staff functions isn’t really going to cost either you or your employer a lot in terms of team building spirit.

If however, this is a job you are serious about then you need to view holiday functions along with other social outings with peers and colleagues as an important part of your job. Research shows that employees, who are invested at work, both socially and professionally, are more effective and efficient. Plus it improves overall morale if the folks who work with you, know a little bit about you and your life ‘outside’ of the office. In other words, get serious about fun at work, if you are serious about your work.

2. Motivators of a particular behaviour Everyone edits themselves; the important question to ask is the ‘why’ behind the editing. If you are closeted, then ask yourself if you do want to come out? Ask around to see if you can safely determine the

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response of your employer and colleagues, via social networking; professional groups like LinkedIn or even via the old-fashioned ‘grape vine”. If your research validates your concerns, proceed with caution. Either look for a new job or see if you want to build connections with folks inside/outside the company and be part of the change you wish to see.

It is against the law for an employer to prevent any staff member from bringing a same-gender partner/date to a work function, if they allow opposite gender partners/dates to attend.

3. Your employer’s goals/values and vision Asking the right questions can really help you prepare for the holiday season – does your employer call it a ‘Christmas party ‘or a ‘Holiday party’; what kind of diversity and inclusion programs or policies do they have? If your employer is already aware of the fact that there is more than one holiday celebrated in December it stands to reason that they might be open to diversity in terms of employee relationships (single,

outwords, december 2011/january 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Forewarned is forearmed when it comes to solving the December dilemma! dating, married or common law) Use this important strategy when exploring who you want to work with – find out if they are welcoming of diversity that includes LGBTTQ folks and allies.

Do some of the ground work now and who knows, you might find yourself clicking the “accept “button to the work place party after all.

– Brad Tyler-West, CHRP, is a Winnipeg senior human resource consultant and connection coach.

By

Nicola Cavendish in Shirley Valentine, a Centaur Theatre/Canadian Stage co-production. PHoTo by yanick MacDonald.

Willy Russell Starring

Nicola January 5 – 28 Cavendish “I’m not sayin’ he’s bad, my feller.

He’s just no bleedin’ good.”

The incomparable Nicola Cavendish returns to MTC in the play that speaks to anyone who has ever wanted more. With wit and a colourful vocabulary, Shirley commits subtle anarchy as she escapes the confines of her “unused life”, embarking on the adventure of a lifetime.

WARNING Mature theMeS

haw S d r a e rn B e eorg

G Seana McKenna By

Starring

–Shirley

January 19 – February 4

“Plenty of social comedy, sparkling

wit and high political stakes”

– Time OuT New YOrk

Armed with wicked wit and astute insight, George Bernard Shaw pits mother against daughter to expose the hypocrisy of Victorian society. Starring Seana McKenna (Much Ado About Nothing, A Streetcar Named Desire), Mrs. Warren’s Profession is MTC’s contribution to ShawFest 2012.

WARNING Contains sCript-speCifiC smoking of non-tobaCCo produCts, mature themes

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Doowah Design Inc. Client: MTC Job no: 2416 Insertion: As per client arrangement MTC Split ad Shirley Valentine/Mrs. Warrens - Outwords magazine / CMYK / full page Problems or questions, call Priscilla at (204) 949-7230

VISIT CLICK MTC Patron Services www.mtc.mb.ca 174 Market Ave. Monday to Saturday, 10am - 6pm