Outwords November 2012 Issue 197

queer views, news, issues

The coat Make a statement!

The dark cave of the mind

It’s time to bring suicide out of the closet Why politicians are paying attention to GSA movement

A gay priest finds light after leaving the Church Can we overcome deeply entrenched attitudes about bullying?

Outwords | November 2012 | Issue 197 | Serving the GLBT Community Since 1994

“ As Allies, we play an integral role in the support network available to students.”

Shaun Scrymgeour, Program Director, RRC Students’ Association

Embracing the Community Red River College’s LGBTT Initiative fosters the development of a safe campus environment, in which everyone has the chance to work, learn and access services in an inclusive, welcoming manner.

RRC’s Ally Project supports LGBTT staff, students and faculty by identifying campus Allies who can provide a safe and inclusive space.

For more information: Nora Sobel, LGBTT Initiative Staff Lead nsobel@rrc.mb.ca or 204-632-2404. www.rrc.ca/LGBTTInitiative

Contents 5

14

28

Silence about suicide doesn’t cut it anymore

November book club

19 6

Doc loses licence over “gay cure”

8

Supreme Court clarifies sex laws for HIV-positive

10

Overcoming the abyss of despair

The coat above all

20

MTC play is a little bit queer GSAs finding allies in the halls of power

22

It’s not enough to shake a finger at bullying

24

Ray Buteau’s path from loneliness began with his outing

26

Why do so many of us love curling?

31

How a queer biz association helps all of us

32

E-readers easy on the eyes & pocketbook

34

The trick to dealing with players

4

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

outwords Serving the GLBT Community Since 1994 Issue 197 • November 2012

Published by the outwords volunteer staff:

Rachel Morgan editor

Ksenia Prints, Jen Portillo Assistant editors

Miles McEnery Sodial media editor

Dylan Bekkering

editorial

saving precious lives It’s time to talk about suicide

art director & layout

Michele Buchanan Assistant layout

Darron Field Financial officer

Jared Star, Terry Wiebe distribution Vic Hooper web manager Cheryl Ezinicki sales representative

Rachel Morgan, Ksenia Prints, Jen Portillo, Peter Carlyle-Gordge, Jefre Nicholls, Corey Shefman, Mark Schollenberg, Alana Lajoie-O’Malley, Debra Chasnoff, Ray Buteau, Claire Cerilli contributors to this issue

Debbie Scarborough, Diane Ready, Kevin Hills, Barbara Bruce, Sky Bridges, Dale Oughton, Darron Field , Helen Fallding, Shayne Duguay, Gail Eckert, Liz Millward board of directors

outwords

201-63 Albert St. Winnipeg, Manitoba R3B 1G4 Phone: (204) 942-4599 For office hours, please call.

General Inquiries: info@outwords.ca

Editor: editor@outwords.ca Creative: creative@outwords.ca Advertising: advertise@outwords.ca Distribution: distribution@outwords.ca Accounts: billing@outwords.ca Event Submissions: calendar@outwords.ca Letters Submissions: letters@outwords.ca Website: www.outwords.ca OutWords provides news, analysis and entertainment for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit and queer community and its allies. GST 89671 7618RT, ISSN 1715-5606 (print) ISSN 1715-5614 (online) Canada Post Publication Licence 416 99032, Contents copyright © 2012 Outwords Alll rights reserved. Outwords is a member of the Manitoba Magazine Publishers’ Association. Articles are not necessarily the views of the staff, management, or board. We accept no liability for our advertisers’ claims.

T

here’s no easy way to talk about suicide, but one thing is for sure – not talking about it won’t make it go away. If we’re lucky, we will never feel the soulkilling emotions that drive some people to consider ending their lives. But the odds aren’t good in the GLBT commueditorial nity, especially among rachel morgan youths ages 15-24.

There have been many studies on suicide rates for GLBT youth.

None are definitive, but they indicate that about 30 per cent of GLBT youth attempt it. That’s roughly four times higher than the average for heterosexual youth.

The issue gets muddier when we try to figure out how many people think about suicide. At least one study put the number of gay youths who had considered suicide at about 47 per cent while the number of lesbian youths who had considered it was about 73 per cent. Most researchers accept that GLBT youth are two to three times more likely than heterosexual youth to consider killing themselves.

What about the actual rate of suicide?

That’s also difficult to pin down. It’s rare that a death notice in the newspaper mentions the cause of death as suicide. We read between the lines when we see the phrase “died sud-

denly”, or “in lieu of flowers, donations to the Mental Health Association would be greatly appreciated.” The obits never mention the sexual orientation of the deceased. The friends and family often know, but sometimes it’s a secret that goes to the grave.

GLBT youth have more risk factors and fewer supports than heterosexual youths.

They often lack family support and safe schools. They are more likely to experience depression and substance abuse. Coming out increases their risk. Despite the advances of the past 20 years, GLBT youth still face stigma and discrimination, which are directly related to risk factors for suicide. Discrimination has a strong association with mental illness, while homophobia may lead to isolation and family rejection.

Embarrassment is our normal but unfortunate reaction to this difficult subject.

Most of us are ignorant of its causes and don’t know how to prevent it. When faced with the signs that someone we know is contemplating suicide, it’s easier to remain silent or deny the evidence. This month, OutWords is presenting the first of a two-part series on suicide by senior writer Peter Carlyle-Gordge. In the first part, Peter will examine the causes and risk factors. In our September issue, Peter will delve into the ways we can reach out to help people who are thinking of taking this horrible and irrevocable step.

We at OutWords hope that by bringing suicide out of the closet we can do a small part to help all of us feel a little more comfortable speaking out and reaching out … and save a few precious lives.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

5

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Compiled from web news services

by Peter Carlyle-Gordge

Prescribing a chemical castration drug as a “gay cure” cost an Australian doctor his licence.

Doctor loses licence after prescribing

chemical castration AS

‘gay cure’

CANBERRA, Australia -- An Australian doctor who is a member of a conservative Christian sect has been banned from practicing medicine after prescribing a teenager a chemical castration drug for use as a ‘gay cure.’

In 2008, Dr. Mark Craddock prescribed an

18-year-old the anti-androgen therapy cyproterone acetate, sold under the brand name Cyprostat, after a 10-minute consultation in his home. According to the Associated French Press (AFP), the drug is usually used to treat prostate cancer.

The patient was a member of the same branch of the Exclusive Brethren Church as the doctor. According to reports, he was told by church members that medication would help him with his sexuality.

In a hearing before the professional

Archibishop worried anti-gay activists may be persecuted

Lord Carey of Clifton is worried that if Britain legalizes gay marriage, opponents of gay marriage may face persecution like the Jews in Nazi Germany.

LONDON -- British Prime Minister David Cameron’s plan to legalize gay marriage risks fuelling the persecution of groups who disagree over the reform, a former Archbishop of Canterbury has said.

According to reporters, Lord George Carey of Clifton, a known anti-gay advocate, urged the Prime Minister to have “the courage to back down” and abandon moves to legalize samesex marriages by 2015. He has often attacked plans to liberalize the sexual agenda in Britain.

Lord Carey was speaking after Nick Clegg, the deputy prime minister, was forced to withdraw a media statement which his

standards committee of the Medical Council of New South Wales, Craddock admitted he did not obtain a medical history, failed to conduct a physical examination and did not take an adequate sexual history or arrange a follow-up appointment for the patient.

He also did not refer the teenager to a counsellor or a psychologist, despite the drug manufacturer’s recommendation. Nor did he order a liver test or discuss the side effects, which include impotence.

officials released in which he called critics of gay marriage “bigots”.

Speaking at a meeting during the Conservative Party conference in Birmingham following Clegg’s statement, Lord Carey said the persecution of the Jews in Germany in the 1930s also began with them being called names. He fears the GLBT marriage issue may draw out extremists.

He called for “a sensible debate” on the government’s proposals and warned against name calling by supporters or critics of the reform, which is divisive.

The prime minister has said he has no plans to withdraw plans to legalize GLBT marriages.

Story2_Image1 caption: Lord Carey of Clifton is worried that if Britain legalizes gay marriage, opponents of gay marriage may face persecution like the Jews in Nazi Germany.

204.985.9200 OUTNABOUTTRAVEL.COM 6

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Iraqi law enforcement agencies and the state are involved in the systemic persecution of gay men in Iraq, the BBC alleges./Image from Radio Netherlands Worldwide

Larry Brinkin, who has an illustrious record fighting for LGBT rights, is accused of possessing and distributing child abuse images.

American gay rights activist facing child porn charges SAN FRANCISCO -- Veteran San Francisco gay rights campaigner Larry Brinkin is pleading not guilty to six counts of possessing and distributing pornographic images of child abuse.

He was first arrested on similar allegations during the summer, but later released after prosecutors did not file charges.

Further investigations by police resulted in a warrant being issued for Brinkin’s arrest.

As a compliance officer and manager in San Francisco’s Human Rights Commission’s LGBT & HIV division, Brinkin was responsible for enforcing anti-discrimination laws and handling discrimination complaints.

He was a major figure behind San Francisco’s Equal Benefits Ordinance, which became a national model for workplace equality for LGBT citizens.

Latin transsexual prostitution ring busted in Italy ROME -- Italian police say they have broken a prostitution ring that brought transsexuals from Latin America into the country.

The Italian police told news agencies they

Iraqi state accused of systemic oppression of gays IRAQ -- Dozens, if not hundreds, of gay people have been killed in recent years, activists say, while the Western-backed government turns a blind eye - or worse.

The UN tells the BBC that neglecting these acts of violence makes the Iraqi state a perpetrator in the crimes. In post-occupation Iraq being gay, or even looking gay, can be--and often is--a death sentence.

The BBC says it’s hard to say how many homosexuals have died in so called "honour killings" by their own families or in the hands of the militias. But a BBC investigation has found that law enforcement agencies are involved in ongoing, systematic and organised violence against gay people, while the government refuses to acknowledge it.

Once targeted, most gay people in Iraq have nowhere to hide. Baghdad has only one safe house, which can house three people. Other shelters have been raided and shut down by the government.

arrested 28 suspected members of the prostitution ring, 24 of whom are already in prison. The group was made up of Italians and Brazilians who were recruited from shanty towns in Brazil and other Latin American states.

The transsexual targets were sent airline tickets for flights from Rio de Janeiro to Madrid, Zurich, Paris, Budapest or Bucarest, from where they would be sent on to Italy,

Despite strong activist opposition, anti-gay sentiment in Russia has been steadily rising.

Last month, several people were injured in an attack on a Moscow gay club.

Anti-gay sentiment in Russia turns into bloodshed MOSCOW -- Several people have been injured by masked men who stormed into a Moscow gay club. The attack was later attributed to “nationalist” motives.

According to AFP, Viktoriya Soto of the 7freedays club said that a dozen attackers broke in late on Thursday to coincide with international Coming Out Day. One witness said he initially thought the attack was part of a show to mark the event.

“I thought it was part of the show because it was Coming Out Day and people came in wearing masks,” Pavel Samburov said in a TV interview. “Only later I realised it wasn’t a show but an attack.”

“It was really scary,” added another witness.

As a result of the attack in the bar in central Moscow, four people were injured and three were hospitalised. Moscow police told Russian media that a young woman has been treated for broken glass in her eye.

This year three Russian cities have passed laws imposing fines for “homosexual propaganda.”

The country’s Supreme Court has also ruled St. Petersburg can continue enforcing a strict homophobic censorship law.

reports said.

Twelve properties that police believe were to be used for prostitution have also been seized.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

7

NATIONAL NEWS

Compiled from web news services

by Peter Carlyle-Gordge

Ontario grants right to change birth certificates before surgery

Prof. Catherine Taylor has launched a survey of attitudes toward homophobia in Canadian schools.

Massive teaching/ homophobia study launched.

WINNIPEG—University of Winnipeg education Prof. Catherine Taylor is launching the Every Teacher Project — a national survey on teachers' perspectives on, and attitudes towards, homophobia in Canadian schools, as well as ideas for combatting it. The survey can be found at www.mbteach.org . The Manitoba Teachers' Society, Manitoba School Boards Association and Manitoba Association of School Superintendents have endorsed the study, along with every English-speaking provincial and territorial teachers' body in Canada.

Paul Olson, the president of the Manitoba Teachers' Society – along with the province's trustees and superintendents-- has strongly endorsed the national study on inclusive education for LGBT education. Taylor will survey teachers across the country on their perspectives on homophobia in schools and their ideas and practices for dealing with it.

She conducted a previous three-year study that showed widespread homophobia and verbal and physical harassment in Canadian schools on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, two-spirit and queer students.

“Our obligations as teachers are to meet the needs of every student,” says Olson.

Canadians redefining meaning of family 8

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

TORONTO—Transgender people in Ontario can now amend their gender on their birth certificates without first having to undergo gender confirmation surgery. Ontario is the first province in Canada to scrap the requirement. New rules now allow transgender people born in the province to apply to have their documents amended by submitting a letter from a doctor or a psychologist. It stems from a ruling by the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario from earlier this spring in the case of a woman known as “XY”. The tribunal found the legislation requiring proof of “transsexual surgery” to alter birth documents to be discriminatory

Harris Kirschenbaum wants Calgary voters to kick Conservative MP Rob Anders out of office.

Hate the hater CALGARY—Calgarian Harris Kirschenbaum says supporting Conservative MP Rob Anders is something he just can't do, so he’s launched a petition on change.org, calling for Anders to be removed from office. The move comes after Anders announced he wants to stop Bill C279, a private member's bill that would amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and hate crime section of the Criminal Code to include "gender identity" and "gender expression" as grounds for discrimination. Anders wants to kill the bill and has made controversial and anti-gay statements in the past. The petition to dump Anders may be more symbolic than realistic since there are no constitutional provisions to have an MP removed from office for regressive opinions.

A member can only be removed if they are convicted and sentenced for an indictable offence.

Court lays out guide for revealing HIVpositive status OTTAWA—The Supreme Court has clarified a section of the country’s sex laws, ruling there is no obligation to reveal one’s HIV-positive status, provided one has a low level of the virus and also uses a condom. Failure to disclose one’s HIV-positive status to a sexual partner is no longer considered grounds for criminal prosecution. In an October ruling, the court said failure to do both would still leave HIV-positive Canadians open to prosecution if there remained a “realistic possibility of transmission of HIV” through unprotected sex. When that “realistic possibility of transmission” exists, HIV poses a “significant risk of serious bodily harm” under the law, the court said.

“A significant risk of serious bodily harm is established by a realistic possibility of transmission of HIV. On the evidence before us, a realistic possibility of transmission is negated by evidence that the accused’s viral load was low at the time of intercourse and that condom protection was used,” Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin wrote for the court.

The ruling amends the test for serious bodily harm, updating a 14-year-old ruling that first made it illegal to not inform a sexual partner about one’s HIV diagnosis. In 1998, the court ruled that anyone who failed to disclose their HIV status was putting their partners in “significant risk of serious bodily harm” that could lead to a charge of sexual assault or aggravated assault and the possibility of life in prison. Since then, more than 130 people have been charged criminally under the law.

OTTAWA—Marriage as the bedrock of the Canadian family is steadily eroding as the country’s social fabric evolves, new census data released in October reveals. Although married couples are still the norm – about two-thirds of families – their numbers are lagging and only increased by 3.1 per cent between 2006 and 2011. Census figures show same-sex couples are increasingly settling down together and the number of same-sex marriages tripled between 2006 and 2011, the first five-year period during which they could legally tie the knot in Canada.

U of V introduces gender-neutral loos VICTORIA—Men and women at the University of Victoria can now use the same facilities with the opening of one of Canada’s first gender-neutral public washrooms. Converted at a cost of $5,000, the two new gender-neutral facilities are marked with an image of a toilet, rather than the traditional male and female stick figures. The new washrooms are in the student union building and were converted to unisex just before the start of the school year. The previously male washroom now has an extra-large barrier around the urinals, while the formerly female washroom is urinal-free.

Knock 1/2 % off your home equity credit line.

Psychiatrist Dr. Aubrey Levin is accused of sexually molesting male patients.

Psychiatrist accused of assaulting male patients CALGARY—Canadian suspended psychiatrist, Aubrey Levin is to stand trial in Calgary for sexually assaulting 10 male patients. The prosecution represents gay patients, who were mostly prisoners that were assigned by the Canadian justice system for treatment. Levin was infamously known as “Dr. Shock” during his career in South Africa, where he subjected hundreds of gay and lesbian soldiers and conscientious objectors in the apartheid era to electric shock “therapy” in an attempt to “cure” them of their sexuality and supposedly deviant lifestyle. The 73-year-old Levin has been found fit to stand trial after the defence claimed he was suffering from the early stages of dementia.

In March 2010, the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Alberta suspended Levin's licence over accusations of abuse after a male patient secretly filmed the psychiatrist making sexual advances. Levin was consequently arrested, however, earlier complaints by others were ignored by the authorities. After his arrest, about 30 other male patients came forward accusing Levin of sexual abuse. Levin's arrest raises questions on how he was allowed to become a citizen and permitted to practise at the University of Calgary's Medical School even after being named by South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) for “gross human rights abuses” during the apartheid era.

TM

Switch and drop 1/2% instantly.

We’ll even cover your switching costs*.

Switch to an RBC Homeline Plan® credit line at 3.5% ( prime + 1/2% ). You could save as much as $5,000 in interest payments†. Get your rate in shape today.

Visit your local RBC Royal Bank to find out more!

*We will pay the basic title insurance fee, processing fee and one discharge fee (up to $300 maximum). Offer excludes mortgage prepayment charges that you may have to pay. Minimum advance $50,000. †Savings based on $100,000 secured line of credit with interest being paid over 10 years comparing a 3.5% and a 4.0% annual interest rate. The interest rate will fluctuate with the Prime Rate and is subject to change at any time without notice. Rate is effective as of February 10, 2012. This product is provided by Royal Bank of Canada and is subject to its standard lending criteria. ®/ TM Trademark(s) of Royal Bank of Canada. RBC and Royal Bank are trademarks of Royal Bank of Canada.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

9

Coat of Conduct S 10

omeone fabulous once said "You can never have enough hats, gloves, and shoes," but this fall /winter the same can be said for the only reason staying north of the border that makes any sense – the overcoat. From classic updates on the staple trench, to statement fur and texture, the coat has made a return to the forefront of fashion, making it your foremost line of defence against the elements and your most important investment of the season.

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Andrew is wearing a black and charcoal tweed overcoat from London Fog; fox fur hat available at the Bay; polka-dot sheer silk sweater & cross from Forever XXI.

Left page Cashmere, wool and raccoon pea coat Harry Rosen private label; Navajo print wool sports coat by Rag & Bone; sequined embellished collared maroon button-up from Forever XXI; rust chinos from Club Monaco; vintage shoes and crocodile briefcase vintage courtesy of the Ruby Slipper.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

11

Trench by Burberry London; printed shirt by Versace Jeans; printed pants from Urban Planet; chain tie, brooches, glasses and fur hat stylist’s own.

Lace sheer shirt from H&M; gold skinny jeans from Urban Planet; belt by Versace; bolo tie and coyote fur coat stylist’s own.

(Also on page 13.)

Fashion & photography : Jefre Nicholls • Hair & makeup : Becky Kooting, courtesy of VQ Salon Model: Andrew J, courtesy of Swish Model Management

12

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

13

When life doesn’t seem to make much sense In the first article in a series, Outwords explores the reasons behind the high rate of LGBT suicides

By Peter Carlyle-Gordge

le this artic ed by s n o p or proudly s nes

nd Jo Banvilleearchants wine m

14

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

S

uicide remains the second leading cause of death for young people in Canada. In the United States, more than 30 per cent of all reported teen suicides each year are committed by gay and lesbian youth, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Officials say this high number is caused by a variety of reasons: anti-gay bullying, lack of acceptance, abandonment, hate crimes, loss of family or lovers and other stressful factors. And to those on the verge, few options are often in sight.

Stylist and photographer Jefre Nicholls is intimately familiar with the impact of suicide and the frustrating challenge of trying to stop someone bent on selfdestruction. When he lived in Toronto some years ago, Nicholls had a relationship with Hamish, a brilliant and attractive young fashion photographer who had everything going for him. He took pictures for some of the leading fashion magazines and was very successful.

But Hamish had what Winston Churchill, another depressive, called “the black dog” on his shoulder: the black dog of despair and depression.

Even after his relationship with Nicholls ended, Hamish called him following a first suicide attempt when he had taken pills. Jefre moved in with him to help and he and his friends tried to boost Hamis’s spirits and convince him life was good.

It does get better, doesn’t it? Not always.

“He was a real classy guy and a brilliant photographer with everything to live for,” says Jefre. “We did persuade him to go back to work but one night he left work and went missing. He never missed work but didn’t show up the next day and some friends and I went looking for him. We looked all over the city, then went to his condo and studio in an old warehouse.”

He was found dead on the roof of the warehouse, having taken pills and alcohol. He was 21.

“I didn’t feel guilt that we couldn’t save him, but I felt very angry,” recalls Jefre.

“Hamish was a genius and a very attractive man but could not overcome his despair.

If someone has a physical illness you can see it easily, but depression is invisible and he had tried therapy, pills and other ways to beat it.

When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.”

- Marilyn Monroe, My Story

Suicide in the Lesbian community Lesbian teens are nearly five times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual girls, according to a B.C. survey discussed at a national conference of public health experts in Vancouver.The survey found 38 per cent of lesbian girls and 30.4 per cent of bisexual girls said they had attempted suicide in the previous year, compared with 8.2 per cent of heterosexual girls. The results were from a new analysis of a 2003 survey of 30,000 students between grades 7 and 12 done by the B.C.-based McCreary Centre Society, which asked students if they had attempted suicide in the previous year.

By contrast, 8.8 per cent of homosexual boys, 2.8 per cent of bisexual boys and 3.3 per cent of heterosexual boys said they had attempted suicide. McCreary Centre Society research director Elizabeth Saewyc said after her presentation that one reason attemptedsuicide figures may be so high for lesbian and bisexual girls is that they tend to be an “invisible group.”

They don’t get talked about as much as homosexual boys and the resources and support aren’t directed to them as much, she says. “Girls are not as readily identified for help” when it comes to depression, Saewyc told reporters, and they are at risk of violence and harassment in the community. Another possible reason for the high statistics for girls, she said, is that girls in general are more likely to attempt suicide, while boys are more likely to actually commit it.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

15

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

-Author unknown

Depression is a real illness and needs to be taken seriously.”

He suspects one factor that pushed Hamish over the edge was his relationship with a closeted man. “The man’s father found out about it and was totally outraged and vented his anger on Hamish. After that he became a kind of empty shell and was very vulnerable.

He began to feel no one could really love him and that he was ugly — even though lots of people found him very attractive and talented.” He says Hamish had used help phone lines and reached out to doctors and therapists, but it was to no avail.

Psychologist Dr. Rick Lindal, in his new book Slice of Life, says teens struggle a lot with their sexuality on a clinical and personal level.

“Teenage suicides due to bullying and homophobia are on the rise – and there aren’t many anchors on which these young people can understand their existence and struggles in life,” says Lindal.

“I already help patients from a professional and medical standpoint – but as a gay man, this is one area I can really relate to personally, as well.”

Of course there are also many unreported suicide attempts. Feelings of isolation,

16

not belonging and waves of paranoia can afflict GLBT youth. Unresolved issues of identity and self-acceptance can also suddenly conspire in later life to bring on suicidal thoughts, attempts and, in some cases, successful completion. Studies show that males tend to succeed more than females, but the latter make many attempts.

A suicide always hurts friends and family, who wish they could have stopped it somehow. How is it that a person can enter into such a dark cave of the mind, an abyss of despair where no one can seem to reach them and draw them back to the light and life?

Rosa Colavito-Palao, a therapist at Nine Circles Community Clinic, has counselled many who were contemplating suicide. She says the causes of suicide or contemplation of it are many, but it usually involve a loss and a desire to escape from psychological pain. “It may come from discrimination, from abuse, from a feeling or not fitting in,” she says. “The main protective factors to prevent a suicide are strong social support whether from family, friends or professionals.

People who have become isolated are certainly more vulnerable.”

Colavito-Palao says other factors also play a role in suicide – for example, a previous history of depression, mental illness or attempted suicide. Substance abuse can also trigger suicide and she says there is a lot of substance abuse in the GLBT community.

Overall feelings of not belonging, being different and not being acceptable are major activators.

She says it’s deeply gratifying if a therapist can

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Klinic's crisis line gets 250 to 300 calls every month from people contemplating suicide.

prevent a suicide, but some people take their own lives, no matter how much friends, family or therapists try to steer them onto a better path. “I have had people tell me that talking to someone at the Rainbow Resource Centre definitely saved their life,” Colavito-Palao says. “The big challenge is to get the person to talk about their problems and their darker thoughts.”

“You should not mince words either. If you see a change in behaviour and the person seems despondent, you need to come right out and ask if they are contemplating suicide. There should be no beating about the bush.”

According ColavitoPalao, some professionals feel you can’t just come out and confront someone about whether they are planning to do away with themselves. “My reply is that you must ask them a direct question even if you are uncomfortable doing it.

Klinic does a lot of training on counselling the suicidal and they tell you at some stage you have to ask direct questions.”

The age of the Internet has spawned a few suicide enabling sites, a scary push for those who may be on the brink. But

the Internet has also made it possible for depressed people to access more resources and learn how to connect with social and professional supports. Tim Wall, director of counselling at Klinic, says their crisis line gets 250 to 300 calls every month from people contemplating suicide.

They have a strong counselling program and offer constant training for those dealing with the depressed and suicidal.

“Those thinking suicidal thoughts usually feel overwhelmed by feelings of despair,” Wall says. “They feel helpless and hopeless and see no way forward. They want to escape their mental suffering and have usually suffered

Suicide is no respecter of talent, social class or age.

losses, either perceived or real. That might include a loss of self-confidence, loss of a partner or parent, a business or job. Any hope is overwhelmed by despair.”

He says trauma, family violence and substance abuse can also play a key role in suicide. In the GLBT community, suicidal thoughts are more prevalent because people often feel rejected or disconnected from family or society. That affects their selfesteem and sense of personal value. A suicidal person may be surrounded by people, yet still feel totally disconnected and alone.

Suicide is no respecter of talent, social class or age.

Seniors and youth both consider it as a final solution to life’s problems. Rev. Stan Richards, a Lutheran minister in Selkirk, used to be minister at the gay-friendly Metropolitan Community Church, which had a brief existence in Winnipeg before closing due to lack of funds.

During his ministry there, two of his gay congregants committed suicide.

Richards says society’s attitude to same-sex attraction has damaged many people and made them feel worthless, so it’s not surprising that suicide rates in the GLBT community tend to be higher. They feel rejected and unacceptable as people.

The National Aboriginal Health Organization (NAHO) recently released Suicide Prevention and Two-Spirited People. Suicide has affected First Nations populations at a greater rate than the general population.

Although suicide rates for two-spirited First Nations

18

populations are not known, high rates of risk factors suggest that they are at an even higher risk of suicide than heterosexual First Nations populations.

This guide was created to foster suicide prevention and make knowledge about twospiritedness more accessible.

When people know more, they can do more. The guide suggests two-spirit populations should be engaged more in the community. Native communities should create safe and inclusive environments and talk openly, respectfully and compassionately about suicide and gender/sexual orientation.

According to the guide, despite gains being made by gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) communities around the world, two-spirit First Nations people still experience oppression and exclusion from three potential sources: their First Nations community because they are two-spirit, GLBT communities because they are First Nations, and mainstream communities for both reasons.

“Two-spirited people were accepted in First Nations communities prior to European contact,” says NAHO acting CEO Simon Brascoupé. “Since then, there has been a sense that being two-spirited is wrong, resulting in them feeling marginalized and increasingly alienated, sometimes resulting in suicide.

This guide is a reminder of the values that First Nations culture is based upon, such as inclusiveness and diversity.”

Peter Carlyle-Gordge is a Winnipegbased freelance writer.

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Getting help • ( Klinic Counselling Services - Crisis Counselling Program.)

• Manitoba Suicide Line (24 Hours)

1-877-435-7170 • 24 Hour Crisis Line

204 204-786-8686 • Toll free

1-888-322-3019 • TTY

204-784-4097 • Rainbow Resource Centre:

204-474-0212 • Manitoba Farm & Rural Support Services Stress Line:

1-866-367-3276

• Manitoba Farm & Rural Support Services Online counselling: www.ruralsupport.ca

The miracle of coming out arrives at MTC A family comedy touches on the subject of leaving the closet

By Ksenia Prints

H

olidays are usually about families. Whether through loud and boisterous or small and insular gatherings, most of us regard the holidays as a time spent mingling with those who share our genetic code. But if you are an LGBT person who still hasn’t left the closet, this time with those who should be closest to us can often seem like a nightmare.

Miracle on South Division Street runs Nov. 22 to Dec. 15 on MTC Mainstage

That scenario is at the heart of the Manitoba Theatre Company’s holiday offering, Miracle on South Division Street. A comedy about family, faith and secrets, this well-known hit offers a humouristic look into some very serious questions: how to keep one’s sexuality a secret from your relatives—and why do so at all. “[Ruth] feels she can’t be completely truthful to her mom about who she is,” says Stephanie Wiens, a local actress in the play.

“You can love someone and be really close, but still have some things you can’t share…

What happens if you share them and then it’s all taken away?”

The middle child amongst three in a very devout Catholic family, Stephanie Wiens plays Ruth, a lesbian who is trying to keep secret both her sexuality and the fact she stopped going to Mass.

Though undoubtedly the most serious theme at this show, Ruth’s struggle is not its main plot. The larger story of the play is the secret Ruth discovers about her family’s history, one that could jeopardize their entire identity. The family believes it was ‘chosen’ after the Virgin Mary allegedly revealed herself in their grandfather’s barbershop. This memory has shaped the lives of Ruth, her mother and her siblings, but the secret she has now uncovered may shatter everything

Stephanie Wiens plays Ruth, a lesbian who is trying to keep secret both her sexuality and the fact she stopped going to Mass.

“By learning that they have this secret and breaking it to everybody, it suddenly opens everything up and all of these options open up to her,” Wiens says of Ruth.

Whether you go for the laughs, the drama or to get some courage for your own debut to the family, Miracle on South Division Street might be a relatively peaceful option for a holiday outing.

Miracle on South Division Street runs Nov. 22 to Dec. 15 on MTC Mainstage Ksenia Prints is an assistant editor at OutWords.

Your Members of the Legislative Assembly

Understand What Matters to the Community Jim

Rondeau

MLA for Assiniboia (204) 888-7722 JimRondeau.mb.ca

Jennifer Howard

Ron Lemieux

MLA for Fort Rouge MLA for Dawson Trail (204) 946-0272 (204) 878-4644 JenniferHoward.ca Ron-Lemieux.ca

Deanne Crothers

MLA for St. James (204) 415-0883 DeanneCrothers.ca

Andrew Swan

MLA for Minto (204) 783-9860 AndrewSwan.ca

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

19

With A Little Help From My Friends

by Jen Portillo

Despite criticism, GSAs standing up to homophobia across Canada Across Canada, gay-straight alliances (GSAs) have been popping up in numerous schools in response to ongoing homophobia, discrimination and bullying against LGBTTQ* youth. Set up as safe spaces, GSAs provide a place where queer students can feel accepted and supported, while also providing a starting location for fighting discrimination.

Yet, schools across Canada have faced multiple barriers when trying to establish GSAs. Despite their contributions, GSAs are often criticized for devaluing religious and family morals and other conservative values, so it is not uncommon for GSAs to identify as nonchalant

20

outwords, November October 2012 2012// //www.outwords.ca www.outwords.ca

student clubs or groups. Because of controversy there are often many variations of the name (with variations of LGBTTQ acronyms), including straight-gay alliance in order to ensure all individuals feel welcome and represented.

Anti-GSA attitudes have led many provinces to get involved to ensure students have the right to organize against homophobia.

This past year, Ontario politicians have been in the spotlight for the debate over a proposed amendment to Bill 13, the Accepting Schools Act, which enables students the right to identify their groups as ‘gay-straight alliances’, even within Catholic schools. The controversy began when Catholic officials, in particular, opposed the naming of ‘gay-straight alliances’ as it went against the beliefs of the church as well as excluded others facing bullying in schools.

Many parents and religious leaders did not believe that GSAs would benefit schools or lessen bullying and did not approve of the use of ‘gay’ within student groups. The Saint Thomas of Villanova Catholic

High School in Windsor tried to condemn the forming of gay-straight-alliances in the face of Bill 13, and sparked a media debate.

The Ontario Gay-Straight Alliance Coalition backed the amendment, along with the NDP, stating that to refuse students the right to identify and name their groups as ‘gay-straight alliances’ was discrimination and bullying in itself.

In May 2012, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty told reporters, “It’s really important that when our kids go to school that they are welcomed there, that they are supported there, that they are accepted for who they are and that they be able to establish these gay-straight alliances, the student-support groups, call them whatever name that you want.”

During these debates, many sought to prove that homophobia was not the major reason for bullying in schools and that

establishing GSAs would only exclude those students who were bullied for other reasons.

However, a staggering number of polls and surveys demonstrate the actual reality of homophobia and bullying, including a 2011 study funded by Egale Canada Human Rights Trust, a gay rights advocacy group.

The study found that 20.8 per cent of LGBTQQ students reported experiencing physical harassment due to their sexual orientation, compared with 7.9 per cent of

enact policies to support gay and lesbian students and staff, with mandatory antihomophobia training, lessons on non-hetero life, and several hundred dollars a year for each school to buy queer-themed books.

In rural Manitoba, the first GSA was formed in 2009 in the small town of Gimli with much support from faculty. The students even created a 20-minute awareness video entitled In the Locker and have been working on anti-homophobic projects for

"It’s important that when our kids go to school that they are welcomed there, that they are supported there, that they are accepted for who they are…"

- former Ontario premier Dalton McQuinty

non-LGBTQ participants. The survey also found that LGBTTQ students also endured six times as much verbal harassment about their sexual orientation and that almost two-thirds of LGBTQ students feel unsafe at school.

In Winnipeg, students have been promoting tolerance and many schools have emerged with dedicated students creating new GSAs. Westwood Collegiate recently saw the formation of a new GSA after two students witnessed their friends being personally bullied for being queer. Westgate Mennonite Collegiate has also formed a new GSA after a student who identified as a lesbian grew tired of the lack of support and understanding for queer students.

Winnipeg School Division in 1999 became the first of 38 in the province to

rural students.

Manitoba is not alone. From Mealy Mountain Collegiate in Happy ValleyGoose in Newfoundland and Labrador to Prince George Senior Secondary in British Columbia, GSAs have been helping students across Canada find support and community.

Through awareness campaigns, pamphlets and resources GSAs attempt to get students, faculty and parents involved in tackling issues of homophobia, transphobia, biphobia and discrimination. They also help educate members about important and ongoing issues within the community. Many groups also tackle issues of racism, ableism, sexism and other discriminatory views that affect students.

The Internet and social media provide another venue for GSAs to get started and

exist outside of school spaces and reach rural areas. Mygsa.ca is Canada’s national LGBTTQ-inclusive and safer schools website. With resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning and allied youth, parents, and educators, the site exists to help Canadians in their work of starting Gay Straight Alliances (GSAs) and other safer space clubs.

The Rainbow Resource Centre in Winnipeg will be hosting the second annual StandOUT! Gay/Straight Alliance and Diversity Provincial Conference this November. This conference invites teachers and students from high schools across Manitoba and Northwestern Ontario for a day of learning, skills building, discussions, fun and networking. Schools that do not have a GSA but have interested youth are welcome and encouraged. Approximately 250 students and 100 teachers and service providers are expected to participate.

For more information on the StandOUT! GSA and Diversity conference, visit the Rainbow Resource Centre at www.rainbowresourcecentre.org/standout/.

StandOUT! is an adult facilitated and peer-led leadership conference aimed at supporting youth in taking an active role in creating school environments free from discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender expression and gender identity.

– Jen Portillo is an assistant editor with OutWords magazine.

GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) An official student group with lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, two-spirit, queer and questioning (LGBTQ) as well as heterosexual student membership and one or two teachers who serve as faculty advisors. Students in a school with a GSA know they have at least one or two adults they can talk with about LGBTQ matters.

The purpose of a GSA is to provide a much-needed safer space in which LGBTQ students and allies can

work together on making their schools more welcoming for all members of school communities, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Such groups also function as safe havens and supports for students with LGBTQ parents, other family members, and friends.

- Source: www.mygsa.ca

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

21

Why we can’t ‘Just Say No’ What will it take to stop a phenomenon that is steeped in and abetted by bias?

By Debra Chasnoff

My concerns are mounting about some of the emerging messaging and organizing around the issue of bullying, especially connected to the film Bully.

President Obama himself has hailed the director of the film, and Mitt Romney’s antigay high school violent behavior is national news. Factor in the increasing attention to socalled zero-tolerance policies and the frequent announcement of new anti-bullying initiatives, and it is clear that the manner in which the discourse evolves on this issue couldn’t be more timely – or critical.

Don’t get me wrong. Bully is a moving documentary that deserves the attention it is receiving and one that I, too, would urge parents in particular to see. But, when I went to a screening, I left the theatre wondering about what message the film is leaving with

22

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

viewers, particularly with students, its primary target audience.

The closing scene in Bully showcases a rally where people touched by youth-on-youth harassment release balloons and call for an end to bullying. While heart-warming, this gesture is far too simple a solution to a phenomenon that is steeped in and abetted by unexamined bias.

In our quick-fix, short-attention-span culture, shaking a finger is not enough. Just like the much-parodied mantra of the ‘80s and ‘90s to “Just Say No” to drugs, simply saying “Stop Bullying” will never change deeply entrenched cultural attitudes.

Similarly, harsh “zero-tolerance” policies fail to take on the complex nature of the motives of those who are doing the bullying.

They do nothing to develop compassion and

respectful understanding of differences among students or staff.

What’s more, the students primarily disciplined by zero tolerance rules are disproportionately LGBT youth, students of color and students with disabilities, ironically the same groups that are often the most targeted. Criminalizing and expelling students who bully, without looking at the underlying causes of their behavior, only creates more pain in their lives and the lives of others.

My concern is even more urgent for the young people who go to see Bully, who themselves are harassed every day traveling to and from school, in their classrooms or in the hallways. The bleak picture Bully portrays of what life is like for students like them is the opposite of a lifeline. Waiting for one’s community, church or family to become more

loving and less abusive, without any roadmap on how to get there, will take too long. To a targeted teen who’s on the edge, that’s an impossible dream.

I worry that someone who is subjected to endless abuse every day, with no adults standing up to challenge the culture of biasbased harassment, will choose the route of the youth who are (finally) honored and celebrated in Bully -- but only after they took their own lives. With suicide, someone finally pays attention, holds a sign in their honor and chants their name with respect and love.

But only after death. That sends a horrible message, one that can, in some ways, make the option of taking one’s life appealing, prompting what has been documented as “suicide contagion” by experts in the field.

We saw some of that after the tragic death of Tyler Clementi, who jumped to his death at the age of 18 after he was filmed kissing a man without his knowledge, and others. Only after losing them did those around them pay closer attention to the school, church, and family cultures that contribute to so many bullyingrelated suicides. Now, Tyler’s own parents, for example, devout Christians who used to believe homosexuality is a sin, are publicly saying we need to challenge our cultural assumptions about gayness.

Fortunately, the director of Bully Lee Hirsch is starting to talk more about what needs to happen next after screenings of his film. But I want to urge him and everyone else jumping on the anti-bullying bandwagon to take their calls for action one step further.

We should be asking how it’s possible for high-achieving students like Dharun Ravi, the roommate who videotaped Tyler’s tryst, to arrive at college still thinking it’s perfectly normal to humiliate a classmate for being gay.

What was missing in his K-12 education that would allow a high school student to graduate with that assumption? And how can we make sure that doesn’t happen again?

In most communities, if you don’t fit into some narrowly defined box of how girls and boys are “supposed” to act or look just because of your gender, you are at great risk to be bullied. If you are attracted to students who

are the same-sex as you are, you are at great risk to be bullied.

So, why can’t we call it like it is and demand solutions that reflect these facts, which directly address the root causes of so much bullying?

Simply put, there is no way we will stop bullying unless we insist that the curricula in our schools address anti-gay stigma and the pressures to conform to gender norms. Until politicians of all political stripes stop vilifying the LGBT population. Until all “people of God” stop telling children they are evil.

"Teachers, be very careful if you take your students to see Bully.

Don’t do it unless you can take the next step immediately to begin addressing gender pressures and homophobia in your classrooms and hallways."

Debra Chasnoff

The stories captured in Bully certainly imply, for example, that hostility and ignorance about sexual orientation and the pressures to fit into a standard “male” or “female” box are critical factors in almost all of the horrific, senseless deaths it recounts.

And if targeted students are like Alex, the film’s central character, and have a mental or physical disability or other characteristic that sets them apart from others, the chances are extremely high that the weapons used against

them will also include homophobic or sexist slurs and innuendos.

Yet Bully and other programs and policies like it stop far short of demanding that our schools adopt curricula that is inclusive and respectful of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. They fail to make a strong enough case that parents and educators could transform school climates dramatically if they took the courageous step of challenging behavioral norms for children based on gender.

They rarely ask parents to question their own biased attitudes, which they pass down to their children who then turn against their peers.

So administrators, please: be very thoughtful when you ask your staff to go see Bully or sign onto an anti-bullying campaign.

Don’t do it unless you are ready to insist that there be changes in your curriculum.

Teachers, be very careful if you take your students to see Bully. Don’t do it unless you can take the next step immediately to begin addressing gender pressures and homophobia in your classrooms and hallways. Please consider how students who are already on the edge may feel after watching this film if you don’t.

Politicians, it’s a no-brainer to support anti-bullying policies. But we need you to also have the backbone to support and fund curricula that is inclusive of LGBT-headed families and youth, and teaching methods that don’t reinforce limited gender norms.

The best thing that could come out of the mass attention to Bully and other new anti-bullying efforts would be that parents, politicians and educators joined together and did far more than put up posters saying “No Bullies Allowed” or offer speeches and incomplete policies that don’t really do the job.

We need to roll up our sleeves, take some risks and open up real dialogue in our school communities about these deeply entrenched – and often politically sanctioned – biases.

– Debra Chasnoff is a documentary filmmaker and the founder of American film production company Groundspark. Follow Debra Chasnoff on Twitter: www.twitter.com/debrachasnoff. Republished with permission from Groundspark.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

23

Since childhood and adolescence, Buteau had known he was attracted to his own sex.

Out Of The Closet and the

CLOISTER

Ex-priest Ray Buteau has travelled from loneliness to a lightness of spirit

By Peter Carlyle-Gordge

R

ay Buteau’s story is one of fortune and men’s eyes, of a withering, soul-crushing loneliness – and of one career that ended abruptly, but opened doors to a new one.

His story is of a personal transformation, a farewell to a dishonest persona that had led to his deep loneliness and a painful walk into more sunlit uplands of the soul.

For a quarter of a century Buteau, now 68, had served as a Catholic priest. This ended in 2002, when the church expelled him. That came about when he was a chaplain at Headingley Correctional Centre. While there, Buteau was doing what he did best: listening to prisoners and offering them spiritual help in their hour of need. As it

24

happened, one of the prisoners had been a one-night fling years earlier and tongues began to wag.

His long-kept secret was now public. The church decided it was time for him to move on, helping him transition to a life outside the church before letting him go.

Buteau bears them no ill will.

Indeed, in many ways he is grateful that fate outed him, for he has begun a new life as a counsellor, author and speaker.

Recently he published an autobiography, No Longer Lonely, in which he looks at his life through new eyes. It is a very honest and refreshingly candid exploration of his life’s path. Buteau’s desire has always been to genuinely serve God and help others, but he found he could only do that by

refusing to own his homosexual side. Unable to express his true self, Buteau paid a high price in self-alienation and painful disconnect. But since God or fate ended his priestly career, he has found himself transformed, more self-accepting and more at peace than he ever was as a priest.

This story is not one of bitterness but of hope. It’s about the need to be honest with one’s own self and with others. By leaving the Church, Buteau did not become an embittered atheist; he would argue his spiritual life has been enriched enormously. Buteau says he has gone beyond the need for a specific religion entirely, but accepts that people everywhere still need a spiritual life and some guidance along the way. “Being gay is God’s gift of love and our being loved by another is our way of experiencing God’s love for us,” he says.

Since childhood and adolescence, Buteau had known he was attracted to his own sex.

He dealt with that in the best way he could, by burying himself in reading, learning, meditating and offering spiritual guidance to those in need. The priesthood had seemed a perfect solution to

his growing anxiety about his sexual orientation.

Deciding to become a priest was pleasing to his mother and family. Besides, it eliminated awkward questions about why he wasn’t seeking a girlfriend or wife. His peers were doing all of that, but Buteau knew he was different early on. “When I went into the priesthood I checked my own truth at the door,” he says.

“Having left the priesthood, I no longer feel lonely because I changed my concept of God and I began to own my own truth.”

His 25-year priestly life included work in the Arctic Circle, working with the Peace Corps in Harlem, helping set up Canada’s first Catholic Bible College and ministering to parishes. He also published a book, Inuit: The People of Canada’s Arctic, back in 1978. Buteau began working on his current autobiography, covering his entire spiritual journey, many years ago and it was quite voluminous. Then he got serious, hired a good editor, got rid of “a lot of mumbo jumbo” and found a publisher in Balbao Press, a division of Hay House.

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Pop Regalia LLC

Buteau’s spirituality is not about organized religion, but about being consciously aware of the balance or harmony needed within us. “It is a harmony between ourselves and a higher power, whatever that is. It is also about being in touch with what is most real in the present. If there is no balance and no harmony we will feel that we are just existing or trying to survive,” he says. “If there is a balance we have positive and optimistic energy.” At the heart of his philosophy is also the need to accept and love oneself completely.

Splitting off one part of you and hiding it from others and yourself is a recipe for loneliness and unhappiness.

Buteau hopes the message in his book will help anyone in a transition period of life, not just priests or others hiding in closets – though plenty of them may benefit from a reading and understanding of his central message. “You cannot go through this difficult process alone,” he says. “We need others to help us accept ourselves and only then can we move on to a higher level of spirituality. Right now we are exactly where we should be and we need to accept that, too.”

In the depths of his own depression, Buteau says his faith in God did not waiver.

He knew he would be given the resources and guidance to move forward to a better place. Nonetheless, he admits many gay and lesbian people feel alienated from God and from religious churches that are quick to exclude and judge them unworthy. “God does not think less of you because you’re gay,” he says. “I knew I was gay when I was six and I feel the same connection with

God now as I did when I was a priest. If anything I’ve become more accepting of everyone because of this. A priest gives moral judgments, but I no longer think that way. I look at what is ethical rather than seeing something as sinful.”

Buteau once worked in the intensive care area of a hospital.

He often noticed that dying patients spoke of seeing a bright light as they breathed their last.

He believes death is a decision to enter that light and it leads to a totally new, spiritual dimension on the other side.

“I believe we are born to have a human experience and to learn from it,” he says. “I don’t believe you go after death to a heaven or hell, but return to the source. I do not think of God as a person, but a source of love and guidance.”

He may have dumped the traditional views of heaven and hell, but he does believe in spiritual enlightenment and plans to write more on the subject. He also hopes to lecture widely about his own experiences. “Hay House publishers have a lecture circuit for their authors and they make it possible for you to spread your ideas that way, using your books as a basic platform,” he says. “Now that I’m retired I would enjoy doing that.”

Does Buteau worry about the level of sexual honesty in his autobiography or that it might shock former colleagues or damage the Church? “What others say or think about me is absolutely none of my business,” he says. “I am on my own spiritual journey and have learned a lot. They have their own journeys to make.”

– Peter Carlyle-Gordge is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

Taylor Kell (left) and Shayne Duguay jointly organized the University of Winnipeg Students' Association O-Week in September.

U of W

rolls out the rainbow carpet

T

he University of Winnipeg’s LGBT* Centre is gearing up for a year of activities to celebrate diversity and welcome students to campus this year. Here’s some of what to expect: First up will be HomoHop XIX on Nov. 10. This year it has a country flavour and has been dubbed Homo Hoedown.

Doors open at the U of W Bulman Centre MPR at 8 p.m. and the music will be loud and proud until 1 a.m. Tickets are $10 and must be purchased in advance from the UWSA info booth, the LGBT* Centre or Fame Nightclub. This is an all-ages event but you will require ID to purchase alcohol. Following the HomoHop, there will be an after-party event at Fame.

The LGBT* Centre is planning to participate in a number of events throughout the year. Full details will become available closer to the event dates. Following closely after the HomoHop, will come the Trans Day of Remembrance, which falls every year on Nov. 20. In the new year, Gender Week will run from Feb. 11 to 16. International Day Against Homophobia will be marked on May 17. You can also expect several demonstrations against the Canadian Blood Services policy on donations from gay men.

On Oct. 10, the centre staged a variety of events for Coming Out Day, including performances by Evian Waters, Alexa Silver, Brett Fernando and Myke Hunt.

The centre also supports Queer in Your Ear on CKUW 95.9 FM Tuesdays @ 10:30.

You can contact the centre at lgbtctr@theuwsa.ca or (204)-786-9025 or join them on Facebook (UWSA LGBT* Centre)

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

25

Running with brooms, just the way you are Rainbow Curling League looking for players in the mood for fun

By Clair Cerilli

W

ith patio season long behind us, the Keystone Rainbow Curling League has swapped frosty cans for sweaters and mug warmers and is busy shooting rocks during the 2012 - 2013 season.

For new vice-president Amber Clemons, the Rainbow Curling League is about more than just competition. Clemons has been part of the league since 1995 and has enjoyed watching it grow since. She emphasized that although the league’s social agenda has grown with fundraisers and bonspiels, it’s really the time that you spend with people after the games that creates the relationships that surround this league.

The appeal of the league is similar to incoming president Mike Read. A curler since he was 13 years old, Read has been a member of the Keystone Rainbow Curling League for the past four years. Read realized that he wanted to curl when the weather plummeted and he

26

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

realized that he “just didn’t want to play hockey outside anymore.”

He decided to take on the position because he felt like the league had given him so much and it was time for him to give back to the curling community. Read becomes president after Mark Kelly, who has stepped down from his role last season.

The league has 18 teams and represents that largest single draw gay curling league in the country. The league is co-ed and is gay and alliance friendly, and in Mike’s own words, “they will accept anybody!”

This year, the league is also looking at introducing younger players to the sport. In the past few years, there has been an increase in players retiring and the need to recruit new players is becoming increasingly important. High school teams or recreational teams are highly encouraged to join if they want one more night of practice or just some extra time on the ice. There is no minimum age

requirement, so as long as you are looking for a supportive and social environment and to play some great curling the Keystone Rainbow Curling League welcomes any and all new teams.

The League has three divisions, which are then separated into teams based on skill level. If you are a first-time team you will start in the lowest tier but because the divisions are restructured throughout the season, a highly skilled team will move up fast.

Joël Maggon, the league’s drawmaster as well as a league player, has been around “since the beginning.” He started out on the spare list and has been a league player ever since. Maggon emphasized that there are curling teams available at every level and specifically mentioned that, “It’s not just about the curling, there’s a strong social aspect to game.”

The league is not only open to anyone and every skill level, but it also recognizes the huge social side of curling. All league games are played Sundays at 1:30 p.m. at the Granite Community Club. There is a cash bar available for post-game bevvies, win or lose.

Not only does the league utilize the full nine sheets of ice at the Granite Community Club for the games, but the league is growing with more social events every year. In the fall the Keystone Curling Club hosts the Get Your Rocks Off social at Gio’s and on Louis Riel Weekend in February, there is the Bison Cup Bonspiel. .

This league offers a perfect opportunity for people to get involved in a new sport and get to know new people. If you are new to the city, the league will actually find you a team to play with based on your skill level. As for equipment, it is pretty low maintenance – all you will need are a clean pair of running shoes, a slider and a broom. You can find these at most sporting goods stores, or there’s always someone you know who keeps a spare slider and broom in their garage.

“The game to start with is very social, after the game you go for drink with the other team and your own. We are all a very social bunch,” says Read.

So, pull out the slider and broom from your attic and try out an evergrowing sport. Whether you want to brush up on your curling skills or simply find something to get you out of the house on those lazy Sundays, the Keystone Curling Club has a lot to offer you.

Registration for the League has closed, but don’t hesitate to contact them to find out if subs are needed. To register for the Bison Cup Bonspiel you can go online and fill out a team registration form. For early bird registration, please sign up by Jan.13 at midnight.

– Clair Cerilli is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

Jim Kane in front of a portion of the Canadian AIDS Quilt at a CAS forum in Ottawa.

Kane receives Queen’s medal for AIDS work

W

innipegger Jim Kane will recieve a Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal this month, one of 30 awarded to the Canadian AIDS Society (CAS) to honour those Canadians who have demonstrated an exceptional commitment to HIV/AIDS work.

“I have been inspired and motivated by many of my peers and friends in the movement whose dedication made a difference to so many,” Kane told OutWords. “This is an honour I will remember with great passion and fondness.”

Manitoba Healthy Living Minister Jim Rondeau will present the award to Kane at the Manitoba HIV conference on Tuesday, Nov. 6, at 11:45 a.m. at the Victoria Inn in Winnipeg.

“The medal recognizes individuals who have made a significant contribution to a province, territory, region or community; have distinguished themselves from others employed or involved in the same field; and are highly respected,” the CAS stated in a release.

Kane is a retired company officer at CN Rail who is a member of the board of Nine Circles Community Health Centre in Winnipeg. He also serves as vice chair on the board of the CAS and is the Prairies regional PLWHIV/ AIDS director. He is on the board of the Global Network of People living with HIV/AIDS. As well, he participates on the Canadian Treatment Action Council.

“I believe that the HIV/AIDS community’s thoughts were reflected well in the Canadian Aids Society’s announcement,” Kane said. “As Margaret Mead noted: ‘Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.’ We have made significant progress, but there is still much work to be done.”

The full list of 30 CAS recipients can be found at www.cdnaids.ca www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

27

November book club As the temperature starts to dip, what better way to relax then curl up with a good book. Here are a few to we're reading

One Thousand Mustaches: A New Cultural History of the Mustache

by Beard and Facial Hair Expert Allan Peterkin Cultural Studies/Men’s Health 2012 Arsenal Pulp Press

The ‘Stache is Back! After decades of being much maligned in Western culture, the mustache is now enjoying a cultural renaissance. Thanks to Movember and the retro-modern mo’s sported by the likes of Ryan Gosling, Ashton Kutcher and James Franco the ‘stache is back on lips and back in the limelight. One Thousand Mustaches is both a lighthearted cultural history an earnest style manual. It’s the story of the ‘stache through the ages and its various incarnations in politics, war, movies, music, sports, art, and fashion as well as information on various ‘stache styles and how to grow and wear them with pride.

Speaking of Facial Hair...

Charge your electric shavers and sharpen your scissors, boys, because it’s that time of year again Movember is upon us.

The one and only time of the year when men are encouraged to grow out their moustaches, Movember serves as an opportunity to raise funds and awareness for men’s health, and more specifically, prostate cancer.

Big things have small beginnings, and Movember is no exception. Back in 2004, a small group of men in Melbourne, Australia, decided to grow out their moustaches in an attempt to raise awareness for prostate

28

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

cancer. Fast-forward eight years later, and over $301 million (so far) has been raised globally as a result of the resounding success of Movember.

So what can you do to participate? The most simple and obvious way to show your support is by growing out that ‘stache. If you are unable or unwilling to do so, no worries! You can still support the cause by donating directly to Prostate Cancer Canada or the Movember Foundation, or by attending any of the numerous parties and events supporting the month of Movember.

So boys, grow your mo’s, and girls, support your bros! Let Movember commence!

Dos Equis: A Russell Quant Mystery

Girls Who Score: Hot Lesbian Erotica

Death in Venice by Will Aitken

Slice of Life: A SelfHelp Odyssey

The Hard Return

By Anothny Bidulka Mystery/ Gay Literature 2012 Insomniac Press

Edited by Ily Goyanes Fiction/Erotica 2012 Cleis Press

Entertainment (Film)/ Gay & Lesbian 2011 Arsenal Pulp Press

by Rick Lindal, Phd Self-Help 2012 Authorhouse

by Marcus McCann Poetry 2012 Insomniac Press

After a year-long, self-imposed exile, ten whispered words in a cryptic telephone message change everything. Returning to his life as a prairie private eye, Russell Quant comes face to face with the greatest horror of his career.

Finding the body wasn’t the worst of it. Realizing the dead person is an old rival thrusts Russell into his most personal and dangerous case yet.

Risking everything, including the lives of those he loves, he finds himself on the elusive trail of a nameless, faceless killer. Up against a Machiavellian villain, Russell recruits his entire entourage of family and friends in an unforgettable caper that races from the frigid winterscapes of Saskatchewan to the pristine beaches of Mexico’s Costa Grande in a tale of love, loss, lies and coming home.

Girl jocks always mange to see a lot of action off the field. Female athletes have an easy confidence about them, a natural nonchalance and a killer bod that draws all kids of women to them – straight, lesbian, bisexual, curious, you name it. Girls who Score is a winner, filled with story after story of competitive, intriguing women engaging in all kinds of contact sports.

Whether its hockey jocks, scuba divers or gym bunnies, editor Ily Goyanes features sporty dykes of every stripe in this sweet and sweaty volume that proves women play hard and love even harder.

A Queer Film Classic on Luchino Visconti’s lyrical and controversial 1971 film based on Thomas Mann’s novel, about a middle-aged heterosexual artist vacationing in Venice who becomes obsessed with a youth staying at the same hotel as a wave of cholera descends upon the city. The book analyzes the film’s cultural impact and provides a vivid portrait of the director, an ardent Communist and grand provocateur. Although he never spoke directly about his homosexuality, it was an open secret, and many of his works were suffused with it.

This book is a ‘selfhelp’ guide intended for a readership ranging in age from fourteen to one hundred.

Through a synthesis of spiritual, existential, and psychological approaches, the reader is provided with helpful, practical concepts about life and its meaning.

These teachers are conveyed through the author’s autobiographical journey, which is, in part, fictionalized, as it describes his coming of age in Iceland and journey to becoming a psychologist.

The Hard Return is a broken list of metaphors for the human heart.

Or it’s a troubling elegy for a disposable world.

Or it’s something much less serious than that.

Alternating between loving descriptions of twenty-first-century excess and awkward social situations, Marcus McCann’s poems are sincere and ironic, sad and half-joking, often in the same instant.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

29

AIR CANADA POPS SERIES

Barenaked Ladies: Hits and Holiday Songs FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7 I SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8 I SUNDAY, DECEMBER 9 I

8:00 PM 8:00 PM 2:00 PM

More than fifteen million record sales, multiple Juno Awards, and fans throughout the world, Barenaked Ladies is no ordinary rock band.

Over a 20 year history, they became a top-selling, award-winning concert draw with their frenetic blend of high-energy melodic-pop, musicianship and spontaneous repartee.

Pops Series Sponsor:

barenakedladies.com

Tickets available at the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra Box Office and all Ticketmaster outlets

204-949-3999 www.wso.ca I 1-855-985-ARTS Ticketmaster.ca Let your story shine Two necklaces in one

100% handmade in Canada

by BenĂŠe Rube (Master Goldsmith and Designer)

Exclusively at desart

30

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

Can A Queer Biz Association Have Any Real Impact?

I

often get asked, what is the role of an LGBT business chamber? In North America, there are 65 LGBT business organizations and each has its own priorities and strategies. However, their common theme is expanding economic opportunities Rainbow Biz for the LGBT community and its allies. The Greater Seattle Business Association (GSBA) Mark Schollenberg is a perfect example of a chamber that has been successful at achieving this mission. It Seattle sets has made a tremendous impact in their comthe gold munity (both LGBT and allies).

The GSBA uses an innovative mix of standard business development, leadership and social – a model activism to achieve its mission. Founded Manitoba more than 30 years ago, the group has could emulate grown to be the largest and most influential LGBT business chamber in North America.

It has more than 1,000 active member businesses. Its monthly newsletter is distributed to nearly 1,500 individuals. The annual business directory reaches 20,000 different locations. In other words, it touches a lot of people.

Business development is a key focus of the GSBA. Each month they host 10-15 events for different member sub-groups. Young Professionals with Pride meets to build a better sense of community.

OUTleads is a leads-driven club for those looking to aggressively grow their business. The GSBA also hosts many educational events, on topics from personal finance, to contract law, to human rights in the workplace.

All these events have the goal of connecting LGBT (and allied) businesspeople, which will help grow their businesses. The GSBA has also provided many benefits to the broader community. One of its initiatives, Travel Gay Seattle, is all about promoting Seattle as an

LGBT-friendly travel destination. This brings in thousands of tourists who spend their dollars locally.

Each fall, it also organizes a candidate’s forum that allows members to learn more about the views of political candidates for all levels of office. The GSBA Scholarship Fund has provided 250 scholarships during the past 20 years to undergrad LGBT and allied students.

Each year the fund hosts a gala dinner for 500 people, raising more than $150,000 towards the fund. These scholarships are awarded to students who show leadership and are seeking to make their community a better place.

Recently, we saw the full impact of the GSBA on in its community. Washington State will have a referendum this fall regarding marriage equality. The GSBA has mobilized its members to provide support to organizations lobbying for marriage equality. And the results are outstanding. To date, more than 100 employers have pledged their support for marriage equality. This list includes household names such as Microsoft, Starbucks, Google, Nike and Amazon. The concern of these employers is that to remain competitive, they need to retain talented employees. They see that supporting equality is not only the morally right thing to do, it is good for business.

According to Starbucks, “Recognizing the relationships of all – irrespective of sexual orientation – means an open and innovative business climate that ensures fundamental fairness and basic civil rights for all.”

Seattle’s LGBT business chamber shows the importance and impact of having a strong and vibrant local LGBT business chamber.

It’s a model Manitoba could emulate. LAMBDA, Manitoba’s LGBT business chamber, is looking for input on how to better serve the LGBT community. We would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

Send a message to info@lambdabiz.com.

– Mark Schollenberg is chair of LAMBDA, Manitoba’s LGBT business chamber.

He works as a commercial account manager with RBC Royal Bank.

www.outwords.ca // outwords, November 2012

31

A different kind of scroll

T

here was a time when people technology saw the paper-thin Corey Shefman reading devices in fiction and Deciphering science marvelled that all the secrets of our books could fit e-readers into such a tiny box.

Today, besides ultrathin laptops like the MacBook Air, every major gadget hardware producer has their own tablet that can pull up all of the world’s knowledge in the blink of an eye.

But tablets have the same problem that computer do - they’re bad for our eyes and not at all conducive to long-term reading.

Also like computers, tablets are geared towards multi-tasking - good at a wide range of things, but expert, perhaps, at none.

Those of you who, like me, love reading, know that the iPad is far from ideal. Too heavy to hold comfortably one-handed for any length of time and not easy on your eyes (not too mention that that’s one seriously expensive ‘book’).

That’s where e-readers come in. E-Readers have been around for years. I remember

32

outwords, November October 2012 2012// //www.outwords.ca www.outwords.ca

borrowing one from the public library around 2000 (and yes, it looked like you would imagine - the equivalent of the first cell phones).

But it was only with Amazon’s Kindle that e-reading entered the mainstream.

To have hundreds of books on a device little bigger (or heavier) than your hand?

Most would sign up already. But it wasn’t even the size or weight that allowed e-readers to survive in an crowded gadget market. It’s the technology called e-ink that makes them so worthwhile.

E-ink simulates the properties of actual ink (hence the name) by using electricity to magnetize coloured particles, propelling them towards, or away from, the screen. In other words, e-readers don’t project images onto a screen, the images and words you see on the screen of an e-reader are physically there on the ‘page.’

The benefits? Reading e-ink is no different from reading ink on paper. And the ultralow power requirements of the technology allow the e-readers to be significantly lighter than their tablet cousins.

Just as interesting is that unlike the higher-powered gadgets, like smart phones, tablets and computers, the technology behind

e-readers is mostly uniform. E-Ink is actually a proprietary technology, licensed by Amazon, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and the other e-reader hardware producers, meaning that your experience across platforms will be more or less consistent.

Each device has its own features - for example, the new Kindle uses a different kind of touch screen and the Kobo now comes in a ‘mini’ size. But it’s no coincidence that last month, all three of the major manufacturers released new e-readers which include a lighting system. But don’t worry, you’ll still get all the benefits of e-ink. These new devices are ‘front-lit,’ not back-lit like computer screens.

This holiday season, think about getting your loved one an e-reader. Think about it - no more carrying around textbooks for students, no more bringing heavy books with you to the beach, no more dirty fingers from the newspaper (yes, you can get your morning newspaper delivered over wi-fi to your e-reader).

Tablets have their uses, no question about it. But do yourself a favour and give an ereader a try. Your eyes will thank you for it.

– Corey Shefman is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

OutWords Opportunities If you secretly love Winnipeg’s 18-year-old queer mag, it’s time to come out and help out. We need volunteer editors, office managers and a bookkeeper.

• Tell us about your skills and we’ll try to match them to our needs.

• Tell us what you want to learn and we’ll see if we can find you a mentor.

• Tell us what you like or don’t like about OutWords and how you would make it better.

Perks: an honorarium, new skills to add to your resumé, cool friends and your name in print. Not to mention fun, a creative outlet and helping build a better world, one fabulous issue at a time.

Contact board member Helen Fallding at: fallding@shaw.ca OutWords and its predecessor Swerve have been providing news, analysis and entertainment for the GLBT community in Manitoba since 1994. We’re a non-profit venture that relies on volunteers.

WE WANT YOU. WE NEED YOU. BUT THERE AIN’T NO WAY WE’RE EVER GOING TO PAY YOU WHAT YOU’RE WORTH. VOLUNTEER FOR LOVE… OF YOUR COMMUNITY.

PUBLIC

311 Customer Service

EMPLOYEES

Your neighbours at work building strong communities

Streets Maintenance

Library Services

cupe500.mb.ca Canadian Union of Public Employees – Local 500

Dealing with players

O

n a gay cruise chat line 18-year-old Spirituality Danny wrote that Ray buteau he was looking for someone near his Turning age, height and with similar disappointment weight interests in biking, into self- swimming and empowerment camping. He was looking for a friend and maybe something more. After several interesting chats with Jim, Danny arranged to meet him for coffee. They had pictures of each other online and said what they would be wearing. The day came and Danny was in the coffee shop feeling like an expectant winner.

Why were all these guys looking at me, Danny thought. I didn't put that much cologne on he thought.

“Hi are you Danny?”

“Yes” answered a surprised Danny. “Do I know you?”

“I'm Jim” responded a tall very good looking 45ish man, “May I join you?”

At least he's not as old as a bar troll I met, Danny thought to himself.

“I looked surprised because you don't look what I was expecting, a younger picture and change of cloths?”

“Sorry I had to change at the last minute, yeah, the picture is a few years old.”

“A few years old?”

“I like younger guys and thought if you'd see me and be interested in having

34

outwords, November 2012 // www.outwords.ca

some fun we might become regulars, even friends.”

“I was looking for someone nearer my age.”

“Sorry about that, here's my name and number if you change your mind.”

“Thanks.”

Danny was numb with feelings of anger, disappointment, confusion and embarrassment as others watched his bait unsnap. With other expectant eyes on him he just wanted to get out. As he quickly crossed the coffee shop he hit someone's elbow.

“Sorry, man” Danny blurted out, “Robert,” who Danny had referred to as a troll, asked, “What are you doing here?”

“This is a coffee shop.”

“That's not all it is,” Danny snapped back. “And you're here just for coffee?”

“Not quite.”

“I thought so.”

“Do you want to sit down for a minute” Robert asked.

“Your treat?” Danny suggested.

“Sure I'll pay for you” and quickly added, “You know what I mean.”

“I'm so pissed off right now,” Danny muttered, “I don't know what to believe.”

“May I ask what happened?”

“This guy was twice my age.”

And let me guess, Robert adds, “And not wearing what he said he would be in.”

“Yeah, how did you know? Oh right, you're older and wiser.”

“Right on both counts.”

“And what happened to you?” Danny retorted.

“I described myself accurately, but the guy may have had second thoughts or saw me and is just playing games.”

“Tom, said there were a lot of gameplayers in the gay community,” Danny muttered.

“Tom could be a good friend to you. He has a lot more experience than you.”

“Hear you two have seen a lot of each other.”

“Cute play on words. There's a lot of game-players in the straight world also. But it's their problem, and their loss, not ours.”

Confused, Danny asked, “How do you figure that? Aren't you really pissed off right now, I am,” Danny blurted.

“I don't let anyone have that power over me. Their loss, I figure. If I let every game- player and rejection get to me, I'd be a pessimistic, sarcastic old man by now.”

“One out of three ain't bad.” Danny smiles.

“You took the first and most important step in your journey, Danny.”

“Asking for a free coffee?”

“Talking about what happened,” Robert continued. “Life is full of game-players, Danny. It's important not to join in. Some want you to get mad, to feel rejected, to feel mastered. Don't get back at them. Be stronger. And one of these times you'll get what you want.”

“Like a free coffee.”

“Even with cream and sugar.”

– Ray Buteau is a former Catholic priest and author of the book No Longer Lonely.

Preventing & continuing medical care including: + Hepatitis & HPV + Psychological issues + STI screening

Dr. Dick Smith Four Rivers Medical Clinic, 647 Broadway Phone: 204.786.8588

as your theatre

2012/2013 SeaSon

a comedy for receSSionary timeS

January 23 – February 10 / 2013

TICKETS START AT $25

CAll 204-942-5483

“We can’t all be rich and successful. If everybody was at the top of the heap, there wouldn’t be a heap.”

SPONSORED by

MEDIA SPONSOR

www.pte.mb.ca