#2 “SELF”
FALL 2019
Over Magazine is an art editorial, based in Denton Texas, that connects individuals on the base of creative talents and skills, and upholds a community for dedicated creatives to congregate and collaborate together.
////\\\\ Issue no. 2 Self A person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.
TABLE OF CONTENTS EDITORS NOTE . . . . . . .007 AVEEH . . . .. . .008 A TRAVELLING MIND ... . . . .012 INDIE LUV . . . . . . .016 FOOLS . . . . . . .022 ONE FOOT IN THE GUTTER . . . . . . .024 POSE . . . . ...028 PROJECT KHAI .. . . . . .030 BEAUTIFICATION . . . . . . .032 JUST SKATEBOARDING . .. .. . .036 KAI 1 .. .. . . .042 HOW TO BE SOCIAL .. . . . . .048 ATMAN . . . . . ..050 SEA SHELLS POEM .. . . . ..056 VIEW, MULTIPLIED .. . .. ..058 808 . . . . . . .062 YOU SAY ME . .. . . . .068 REFLECTION RIVER .. . . . ..074 PINK ME UP .. . .. ..078 IMAGINATION FASCINATION . . . . . ..082 Cover and Page Illustrations by Emily Elliott
086 ...... .LUMINESCENCE 088 ....... FROM THE OUTSIDE 092....... THE COLOR WHITE 096..... .. LIFE OF A WRITER 100..... .. IDYLL 106....... PINK HAIR 108....... SUCCUMB TO ANXIETY 112....... PERCEPTION 116....... SWEET TEASE 122..... .. HAVEN 126..... .. DAEMONICUS 128..... .. KAI 2 134....... WHAT WILL WE DO WHEN ITS ALL GONE 140..... .. AMALGAMATION 144....... LATE NIGHTS 146....... A MAGNIFICENT ENEMY 148..... .. MASC 154....... HAUTE NOIR 160....... ART DIRECTOR’S NOTE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED
FOUNDERS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
ART DIRECTOR
NATE BISHARA
GIULIANA VARGAS
STAFF DIRECTOR OF FASHION DESIGN CARLOS “RENACIO” REYES ASSISTANT FASHION DIRECTOR THOMAS TRUONG ASSISTANT FASHION DIRECTOR LUKE GONZALES DIRECTOR OF FINE ART EMILY ELLIOTT ASSISTANT FINE ART DIRECTOR JARRETT CREPEAU DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY VICTORIA NGUYEN ASSISTANT PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR CLAY HADLEY DIRECTOR OF LAYOUT JAINA WONG ASSISTANT TO DIRECTOR STAFF JESON “ROBYNN” AVILES MARKETING OFFICER BRANDON PIMENTEL SOCIAL MEDIA CO-DIRECTOR BENNIE MILLER SOCIAL MEDIA CO-DIRECTOR SARAH BERG WEB DESIGNER PARIS ROBERSON WEB DESIGNER ANASTASIA LOGAN COPYEDITOR IAN MCMENEMY HISTORIAN RICARDO VAZQUEZ
TEAM FALL 2019 “SELF”
ADAM GARCIA, ADRIAN BRECEDA, AGEGE, AIRA NAVAL, AISHA, AJACEE MCMILLAN, ALEX TRAVELL, ALLISON GAMERSFELD, AMINA MBIPEH, ANASTASIA LOGAN, ANDREA NAVARRETE, ANDREW NGUYEN, ANGEL PONCE, ANGELINA BISSEY, ANGELIQUE FARHAM, ANTHONY NGUYEN, ASHNI PABLEY, AVA WEISSGARBER, BAILEY TURFITT, BECCA SUMMER, BEN WAGNER, BENNETT BROWN, BENNIE MILLER, BLEU, BRADEN ARNOLD, BRANDON PIMENTEL, BRIGITTE BRICEÑO, CANTRELL RYAN, CARLEY ROXANN, CHRISTABELLA ESCANDON, CLARISSA MEDRANO, CLAUDIA BASTOS, CLAY HADLEY, CODY NORTON, DALTON RAWSON, DARREN DOBSON, DAVID BOJAY, DIANA ROJAS, DON DAVIS, DON VU, DRU HOLIDAY, DYLAN TRAN, EMILY CAVENDAR, EMILY ELLIOTT, EVAH DESTRUCTION, EVELYN NGUYEN, GIULIANA VARGAS, HIEN NGUYEN, HOLLIE PUTERBAUGH, HUNTER LOCKETT, IAN MCMENEMY, IAN MCMENMY, IAN WHITE, JACKIE HERNANDEZ, JACOB TRAN, JAINA WONG, JAMALL VERNON, JARRETT CREPEAU, JAUDON MORRIS, JAYLYNE NGUYEN, JENESSA ECHEVERRIA, JENNIFER TRINH, JOHN COLLINS, JOHNY RAMIREZ, KAITLYN INGRAM, KAI’ M. PERRY, KARIS HERNANDEZ, KARIS THOMSON, KARLA ARISTA, KATHY O’CONNOR, KENNEDY THOMSON, KENRICK TORRES, KEVIN FIDES, KYLEE O’HARA FATALE, LAMYA MCGILVERY, LAUREN ASHLEE, LILY RHINES, LOREN JONES, LUCAS IBARRA, LUCAS IBARRA, LUKE GONZALES, MALIK MARTIN, MARY ALLISON, MELODY RANDAL, MESHA THOMPSON, MIKAYLA ROGERS, MULAN ALEXANDER, NATE BISHARA, NIC IPARRAGUIRRE, OBI NZERIBE, PARIS ROBENSON, PATRICK THOMAS, PEDRO ROCHA, QUINN COX, RICARDO VAZQUEZ, ROBYNN AVILES, RYAN CANTRELL, SARAH BERG, SARTHAK ROCKY SAHOO, SAVANNAH DURAN, SIGGY SAUER, SINEA WREYFORD, SIOBHAN LINNANE, SOLE TORRES, SOPHIE ASTRO, SOPHIE LG, TAHLIL DARWISH, TANIA CHAVEZ, TANNER JACKSON, THOMAS TRUONG, TIFFANY FULLERTON, TINA TRAN, TRINITY TAYLAR, ULISA LUNA, VANILLA HEARTFIELD, VICTORIA NGUYEN, VICTORIA TRAN, WESLEY WOODS, YVEN GALVAN
EDITOR’S NOTE
O
Nate Bishara
ver Magazine started as a meeting of 7 people in an on-campus taco shop, where I shared my vision of what a local magazine would be with a few of the friends I had made during my first semester at UNT. It then grew due to the massive support from local artists, primarily in Denton, who wanted to be part of this idea. At the time it was kind of intimidating because I had never led something on this big of a scale before and I literally had no proof that it was even possible, but the team at the time believed what Giuliana Vargas, Thomas Truong, and I were saying. The entire first edition was put together over the span of about 3 months, starting in February and then launching the following April with our first edition, “Take One”. This team is full of talented and unique people, all with their own views and perspectives. In this issue, “Self ”, Giuliana Vargas and I asked our team to PHOTO TAKEN BY JAUDON MORRIS question who they are, why they create and what that says about them as individuals. What was birthed out of that, was a love letter to creatives all throughout the “You can never be Overdressed Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. Over Magazine exists or Overedutcated” to help these creatives find their voice and give them a platform to speak it on. -Oscar Wilde Fall 2019 has been full of many great opportunities for Over Magazine to explore the possibilities of expansion and growth within the DFW. Through our Homecoming event with UNT to our guest speaker from “How To Be Social” we have found opportunities to help highlight our team’s talents and many great creative skills. This year has been full of trial and error as we finally launch the puzzle that is “Over Magazine” in full. This semester we have made many changes and as it is no longer just our quaint team of 2, we have a fully functioning staff of brilliant artists, marketers and social media gurus. We have become a fully functioning editorial, interviewing artists of all mediums, allowing them to be highlighted on our website and within this edition and future editions. To say that I’m just proud of the work this team has done would be an understatement, we have all put in so much effort and grit to make this happen. Learning so many new skills, software, and resources. The creation of Over Magazine has only just begun and we will continue to grow. So without further ado, I and the rest of the team would like to present you with “Self ” Over Magazine’s Second Edition into its catalog.
SPECIAL THANKS
CHANDLER GARRISON, DAVID BOJAY, DENTON ARTHAUS, DSGN FOR US, FRANCISCO SANTILLAN “NO SOCIAL”, HECTOR MENDOZA, HOW TO BE SOCIAL, JEWELS CLARK, JUAN CARLOS CASTILLO, LISA HALL, MARIELENA RESENDIZ, NATALIA PADILLA, RACHEL GRIMES, RADIO WORE, THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH TEXAS, UNT COLLEGE OF LIBERAL ARTS AND DESIGN, UNT UPC, VIVIEN QIAN, WENDY DENMAN
007
008
T “Aveeh”
CHAVEZ
ANIA
Model/MUA Bailey Turfitt Lighting Assistants Jaudon Morris, Kenrick Torres Design Carlos “Renacio” Reyes Layout Jaylyne Nguyen
009
a densely populated future a metropolis built upon its self like a layered cake, with the filth of the upper rings trickling down to collect at the bottom. Here we find the dregs and other grime trudging through their day-to-day to survive. Climbing up the rungs, we eventually reach a strata where those who have thrived from that underbelly go to mingle.
011
FINE ARTS digital
DARREN DOBSON
W
ith this project I explored what interested me as an artist and how my interests influence my artistic journey creating something that reflected me and my art style. Through a lot of self-reflection and analyzing my portfolio I noticed that I was really intrigued by color. I’ve always loved manipulating color to create fun and engaging pieces of artwork, which helped me decide that color would be a very important part of my submission. I didn’t want my work to have an identifiable image of my face, so I began to research ways to create an abstract selfportrait. I intended to include a mixture of life like forms and geometric shapes. The sketch process was actual really difficult due to the challenge of combining these two elements together. Realizing that I only wanted to include one unifying symbol in each piece I created I chose hands. Hands to me represent my creative life force, and my most important tool. as an artist I use my hands every second of every day and it’s another way of letting other see the ideas I have inside my head. I believe that the work I create with my hands are more important than any amount of words I could say.
a travelling mind
One of my inspiration for this piece was an illustration studio based in brazil called Bicicleta Sem Freio. Their use of color and geometric shapes had a very strong influence on how I approached these pieces and I plan paying more attention to this group of illustrators for inspiration on other projects. If I were to continue working with this project, I think I would create a plethora of these pieces. Maybe even creating different types of creature that correspond with certain colors. I would also like to create a book that included my sketches and other parts of the process not shown in the final design. The idea of having a physical copy of my work is something I want to create in the future.
“I’ve always loved manipulating color to create fun and engaging pieces of artwork”
Another idea I had was to draw out the weird and abstract thoughts I find myself doodling on my homework or on a napkin. Those sketches and abstract thoughts becoming a final piece really excited me. when figuring out colors for the pieces I didn’t have a method I just let my imagination go wild I didn’t want to plan that out too much and I changed my mind a lot. My goal was to have the colors be wild and eye catching but work well with one another and create a nice harmony throughout the entire piece. The medium I chose for this project was digital. It’s a medium I’m very comfortable with and knew I could get the very bright saturated colors I was looking for. The process included sketching out the ideas in my sketch book and then recreating them on my iPad Pro, putting in the base colors I thought I would work for the piece. Moving the work over to my computer I added the values and shading and really started to get into all of my crazy color choices.
013
016 016
INDIE LUV INDIE LUV INDIE LUV INDIE LUV INDIE LUV INDIE LUV
Photographer Kevin Fides Set Designers Kevin Fides, Clarissa Medrano Models Savannah Duran, Yven Galvan Layout Nate Bishara, Jaina Wong
020
WRITING poetry
Writing Nate Bishara Artwork and Layout Jarrett Crepeau
023
WRITING peotry
Writing Nate Bishara Artwork and Layout Jarrett Crepeau
025
One Foot In The Gutter
I AM SO IN LOVE WITH COLOR AND UNIQUE, QUIRKY COMPOSITION, SO MOST OF MY WORK IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT GRABBING DIFFERENT KINDS OF IMAGES AND PERSONALITIES AND MIXING THEM TOGETHER TO CREATE ONE GREAT MELTING POT. I LOVE DIFFERENT MINDS AND STYLES COLLABORATING TOGETHER AND MIMICKING THAT IN MY ART IS MY FAVORITE THING TO DO. Artist Solé Torres Layout Nate Bishara
027
028
Artist Johny Ramirez Layout Andrea Navarrete
PHOTOGRAPHY digital
“as humans it is nearly impossible to continuously be confident in one’s self ”
Dylan Tran
It is very important to be confident with the way you see yourself, the way you carry out your actions, and the way you exert your presence onto the world. But as humans it is nearly impossible to continuously be confident in one’s self, as social creatures we tend to strive better with the aid of others; this is where the power of help comes in. Where one’s lack in confidence may be boosted by a close friend, a family member, or even a stranger. The power of help to bring up one individual to work even better or more confidently as a group can make a huge difference onto the world We are all products of the people we choose to surround yourself with, one can grow tremendously as an individual and even more with others. Choose to improve yourself, choose to improve others, and choose to improve the world that surrounds you. Model Anna Stone, Rachel Dang Layout Jaylyne Nguyen
030
project
Khai
Artist Mary Allison Gamertsfelder Layout Emily Elliot 032
FINE ART Markers
ALLISON GAMERTSFELDER Beautification
I
’m fascinated with the concept of beautification. I love makeup, hair, and anything else that can make someone look different from their actual appearance. I get up at 6:15 nearly every day to do my makeup and make myself look beautiful, in my eyes. I’ve never gone to class without at least concealer, eyeliner, and mascara. I love putting color on my eyes, lips, and face. It’s such a unique form of art, altering your appearance through a little bit of paint and powder. Makeup is fascinating, I spend a good amount of my time and money on it. With this piece, I wanted to capture my view of beautification: not necessarily positive or negative, but otherworldly and fascinating. I have absolutely no shame in my love of makeup, it’s such an underrated art form. This piece features makeup, but it’s not the most prominent subject of the piece. I wanted to focus more on the pure fascination that I have with changing your appearance rather than what actually goes into that change. I created this piece with Copic markers; they’re pretty much my signature medium. I’ve been collecting them since 7th grade, and my life would be over if I ever lost them. They’re a tricky medium to master, but I have 6 years under my belt. I love the range of colors they provide, and their versatility. They blend together so nicely, it’s like watercolors and oil paints with none of the mess. I colored the piece with my markers, then scanned it and touched it up in Photoshop. My markers embody me as an artist, their bright colors and painted texture allow me to express my colorful thoughts and ideas. I’ve used them for my entire career as an artist, so I’m well acquainted with how they behave and the potential they hold. With my markers, I tried to capture the essence of beautification and materialism. The colors purple, pink, and teal encompass a feminine, ethereal mood that I felt the piece needed. The piece encompasses me as an artist because it features a prominent, regal subject, bright colors, detailed shading, and dynamic lines. I project many images of myself into my art, and the characters featured in this piece is all of those images at once. It’s beautiful chaos and order.
034
“THIS PIECE IS HOW I SEE MYSELF, AND I HOPE OTHERS CAN SEE ME IN IT TOO.”
035
Photographer Clay Hadley Pictured JoJo Santos, Evan Jones, Kyle Sims, Hunter Priest, Von Pearson, Tanner Wilson, Gus Baldwin Layout Jaina Wong
just skateboarding.
037
PHOTOGRAPHY film
I
CLAY HADLEY
just skateboarding.
created this collection out of a need for myself to visually capture skateboarding and the feeling it gives me and my friends. I’ve been skateboarding seriously for 14 years and I’ve seen it undergo every trend, every level of acceptability in society, and every stage of popularity. When I started skateboarding, my mom was worried I would turn into a deadbeat and the idea of success in skateboarding was exclusive to Tony Hawk. That was over a decade ago and the version of skateboarding we see now is completely different than how it was perceived at that time. Even though it’s undergone these massive changes in regards to public perception, it still feels the same to me. I still escape reality every time I step on my board and get to be a part of an insane community that’s more welcoming and open than anything else I can imagine. The e-boy you see on the social media platform “Tik-Tok” with padlocks on his neck carrying his skateboard as an accessory is not a skateboarder. The kid who’s been in his driveway for 5 hours sweating his ass off trying to land his fi st kickfl p is a skateboarder. The guy in the camo cargos and dirty white t-shirt trying the same trick on the same ledge at the park for the last week is a skateboarder. It’s not someone trying to capitalize off a trend or portray some level of coolness they think this piece of wood with four wheels will give them. It’s pushing down the street with your best friends not thinking about anything other than what’s happening right then and there. So let’s talk about this collection in particular. When I came to UNT, I started skating with a whole new group of people and we grew bonds similar to ones I had when I was a little kid. I hadn’t felt what it was like to be a part of a solid group of skaters in a very long time and it was long overdue. We started hosting BBQs at Denton Skatepark and really started to bring Denton’s skate community together and it felt like we were building something that was beyond ourselves. At the same time, I’d been changing my style of photography to include more people and life as my subjects as opposed to buildings and objects. I wanted my photos to breathe and have emotional weight attached to them and be things I could look back on as memories. I wanted to start shooting the evolution of Denton’s skate scene.
I knew these photos had to be different, though. Because nothing’s as bland to me as slapping a wide-angle on and getting a bland, up-close photo of someone skating a handrail or stairs. It’s the skate photo equivalent of 50 photographers standing in the photo pit of the Olympics with the same lens getting the same photo. I wanted the photo to be not only of the trick, but also of the environment, the feeling, and all the inbetween-moments. After all, that’s what skateboarding is to me. It’s not the tricks. It’s the moments we all share as friends in-between the tricks. My best memories aren’t of tricks I’ve done --they’re of running around playing tag on our boards in the park and goofi g off being dumb kids, only with skateboards in our hands. We planned a trip to Austin in the fi st week of October, I brought 7 rolls of black and white film, and shot these images. These are my friends. These are photos of them skateboarding and doing everything that encompasses. They’re raw, unplanned, and unfiltered. They’re not staged, they’re not edited, and they’re honest. Just like skateboarding.
They’re raw, unplanned, and unfiltered. 039
They’re not staged,
they’re not edited,
and they’re honest.
Just like skateboarding.
041
Photographer Obi Nzeribe Model Kai’ M. Perry Layout Nate Bishara, Jaina Wong
K A I part 1
043
044
045
046
047
048
H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H
O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O
S
W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
O
T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T
O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O
C
I
B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B B
A
E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E
Apply today on HowtobeSocial.com
Follow Us
@HowtobeSocial_
L
049
Artist Rocky Sahoo Layout Emily Elliott
051
FINE ART Ink
ROCKY SHAOO Atman
S
elf is a powerful and weighted word, (Atman) is Self in Sanskrit, a word that in the Vedas, refers to a human as an organism that is an embodiment of the universe. In the metaphysics paradox of the Ship of Theseus, discussed by the Greek philosophers Heraclitus and Plato, a ship is rebuilt with the same materials and back into its original form. Is it the same ship? If our bodies are entirely groups of cells that constantly die and regrow, are we the same person we were seven or eight years ago? In these works, I juxtapose the individuality of ourselves as a generation, but also how toxic aspects of South-Asian culture have been passed down and integrated into communities. The internal and external problems of a community are expressed in embodiment with the embodiment of a person within all these pieces. Is the progression of a community similar to that of the progression of the individual? Experimenting with traditional mediums, two dimensional/three-dimensional space as well as digital media, artist Rocky Sahoo combats stigmas within and around the South Asian-American community by illustrating imagery surrounding academic pressure, anecdotal imagery of Desi-American culture, narratives of childhood, as well as the philosophical and political ideas that are tied to it. Due to the rise of political issues and lack of humanized representation of ethnic groups in South Asia, my art combats this by providing nostalgic imagery to combat the distorted perception of Hinduism and Indian culture, while also collaging sensitive and universal issues surrounding South-Asian communities in western countries, such as the closeted views of academic success, body image, religious intolerance, caste system discrimination and internalized racism. These works explore the human body in the metaphysical sense and relate the cathartic to the political.
052
053
055
WRITING poetry
IAN MCMENEMY
Sea Shells Poem
Sea Shells Poem You find me on the rocky shore Abandoned there by the morning tide. As you lift me up, can you feel How I’ve been worn smooth by time? How my colors have been bleached by distance? Trace your fingers along my spires, Can you feel the deep azure I once was? Or has even that been taken from me? I’ve been pulled along most of my life, By animal purpose or the oceans chaotic tide. My surface has been chipped away, my colors drained Until I’m left as I am before you now: Hollow Fragile But also, free. Though I’ve been damaged, my beauty remains. Though hollow, I am not empty. Please place me up to your ear and listen. Hiding behind the sound of the ocean waves. Listen. You can hear music within me. The singers long since vanished to time. There are songs with in me of joy and sorrow. Ive kept them all. My last treasure to the world That’s carried me so far. If you have a song, please sing it for me, And let it be remembered forever.
056
The Amazing Somnambulistic man! Come and see the Amazing Somnambulistic Man! Only a dollar Only a dollar Only a dollar twenty-five! Come this way! Come right quick! Come watch as he lives an unconscious life! 24 years without a single thought! (Nearly 25 without making a single hard decision!) Come back in 20 years he’d still be a walking stiff ! Don’t balk! He talks! He walks! He fucks! He sulks! He’s able to imitate over 120 variations of human emotions! But don’t be fooled! Don’t be tricked! Don’t be taken in by his lectures on philosophy! The Amazing Somnambulistic Man has slept through 24 years of life! Even when he got his wife! Dealt with strife! Come see! Come look! Watch the man with a brain like volcanized rubber! (Nothing gets in, nothing gets out) ((Perfectly flexible to any idea or suggestion!)) Come and see a perfect imitation of a human being! If you’re not completely taken in all money back, We won’t hold on to a single dime! (What else do you have to do with your time!?) Come right now and see the Amazing Somnambulistic Man!
057
w
VIEW, MULTIPLIED
Art Jenessa Echeverria Layout Emily Elliott
059
PAINTING acrylic
JENESSA ECHEVERRIA
view, multiplied
E
very living thing in the universe is made up of cells. Our entire body is made up of millions of cells which each have their own function and in turn form our organs and bones. A cell starts off as one singular cell but then multiplies. I wanted to show this process but on a bigger scale. For my piece, I placed the main iris of the eye a little offcenter to give some direction and show the flow of the other iris coming out of it. To me, eyes are like very big versions of cells. They are round with many different colors and they all have pupils that look like a nucleus of a cell. For the medium of this artwork, I chose to use acrylic paint on canvas. I chose acrylic paint because I anted to go back to the medium that has kickstarted my love for art.
“EYES ARE LIKE VERY BIG VERSIONS OF CELLS.” This piece represents the theme of “self ” for many reasons. Ever since I was a child, I loved to draw eyes. I loved looking at people’s eyes and all of the intricate details and colors. Eyes were the first thing I have ever gotten good at drawing and painting. Whenever I am doodling in my sketchbook or if I am feeling uninspired, I always draw or paint eyes because it just comes to naturally to me. To me, sight is the most important sense that I have. I am always observing things around me and examining details. Without my eyes, I would definately lose an important part of myself, both physically and mentally. Without eyes, I could not do art, which has always been a huge part of my life. Losing my eyesight would mean losing the ability to look at my friends, family, animals, and of course artwork. The image of the twi irises in a single eyeball illustrate a deeper part of me which is not that i just love looking at eyes or the science behind eyes. It illustrates my appreciation for being able to see the world.
060
061
Photographer Victoria Tran Models Jennifer Trinh, Don Vu Layout Nate Bishara
808
063
PHOTOGRAPHY Digital
VICTORIA TRAN 808
I
created these a time in my life where I felt very lost, yet hopeful. I also really love the ocean, even though I am very afraid of it. It’s so vast and beautiful, yet so dangerous and punishing which is exactly why I have a deep respect for it. I created these to express how I felt. My goal is for viewers to get the same feeling I felt when I take my photos. I want my feelings to be conveyed through my art, whether it be feelings of sadness or happiness.
Things aren’t always easy in life, but you just have to keep your head up and work even harder. The moodier photo, Reflect, represents how I felt when things seemed helpless. This photo is dark with deep blacks and shadows with the subject looking out into a neverending ocean. To me, the ocean represents my thoughts at the time. With this type of editing, I was trying to go for a more melancholy feeling. As a creative, especially during the start of your endeavors, you’ll get a lot of rejections, or sometimes won’t even hear back at all. The no’s will pile up more than opportunities and things may seem out of reach. This is exactly what was going on when I shot this. But in time, things will piece together. Perseverance, hard work, and supportive friends will help you through times like this, and I am forever grateful for the support system I have. The second photo, Moment, is a photo taken of a subject looking into the sunrise. Notice how his head is held high and his pose is somewhat powerful and confident. This is a correlation to someone who feels hopeful, even if they’re stuck at the moment (aka in the water). He’s standing waist-deep in the water, but with his head held high and looking forward towards the light. The bright sky means there’s better things to come, and the water isn’t stagnant, meaning change is always happening. Honestly, this shot is how I feel at the moment. I was rejected by an opportunity I really wanted, but it surprisingly didn’t phase me in a negative way. Instead, it drove me to work harder to keep pushing towards my goal. You have no control in outcomes, but you can control how you handle it.
064
“I HOPE MY FEELINGS CAN BE CONVEYED TO THE VIEWER BY JUST LOOKING AT MY WORK. PHOTOGRAPHY IS POWERFUL AND CAN PROVOKE EMOTIONS WITHOUT SPEAKING A WORD. IT CAN CULTIVATE EMPATHY FOR SOMEONE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT, WHETHER THAT BE HAPPINESS OR SADNESS.”
067
PHOTOGRAPHY ďŹ lm
YOU SAY ME Photographer Nic Iparraguirre Pictured Bennie Miller, Emily Elliott, Peter Sanjur, Simon Sanjur, Ava Weissgarber, Tiana Piniecki Layout Jaina Wong
너는내게말해
PARK HYE JIN
(please listen with headphones)
069
073
artist Paris Roberson Layout Claudia Bastos
075
DIGITAL ILLUSTRATION FINE ART
PARIS ROBERSON
reflection river
I
am currently a junior in the UX design program at UNT and an aspiring illustrator and comic artist. I was born in California but grew up in Texas for the majority of my life. I love traveling, eating food, and of course, drawing. I created this piece to do an inner reflection of myself. Since the theme of this issue is “self ”, I created this piece to do a self-reflection. I usually don’t like to or have the time to do self-reflection. This gave me an opportunity to really think about who I am as an artist and what is going on in my mind. It’s a bit scary to selfreflect. First, when trying to figure out what to draw, I thought of my artistic goals; becoming an animator, becoming an illustrator, creating comics, becoming a storyboard artist...the list goes on and on. I wanted to express how I feel about my goals through the color palette. I feel like as an artist, my goals are so bright and present that all I need to do is dip my hand in a reach it. Even though it feels that way, I feel like achieving my goals is actually farther than ever --represented by the far off clouds. This was to show myself that my goals are closer than I think.
076
While I was self-reflecting, for some reason my ethnicity came to mind. I don’t really like to dwell on my ethnicity that much so I decided to self-reflect on it. Personally I’m like yes, I look Asian, I’m part Asian, I like Asian culture. But it’s conflicting for me when someone asks “what are you?” and I think to myself, what do you mean I’m American just like you. But a majority of the time that’s not the answer people are looking for. I’m actually of Japanese, Korean, and (technically) French decent, so the colors of the rocks sort of represent my multiracial background. The leaves and shrubbery show the conflict I feel when people ask me “what are you”.
The medium that I chose is digital. It’s important because this medium is the medium I struggle the most with when it comes to my art. I’ve gone through one heck of a journey with this medium as cheesy as that sounds. When I started digital I was horrible at it. Really really horrible at it. My lines looked like they were drawn by a 2-year-old. I gave up for a few years until I started looking at digital artists all over the internet. Th s inspired me to pick up a drawing tablet again. After a while, I started comparing myself to others. It was a toxic mindset and really unhealthy. I didn’t notice how toxic it was until the end of 2018.
“I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN WHEN DRAWING DIGITALLY. THERE’S A FINE LINE BETWEEN PUSHING YOURSELF TO IMPROVE AND PUSHING YOURSELF TOO FAR AND BECOMING TOXIC TO YOURSELF.” THIS MEDIUM HAS HELPED ME BECOME STRONGER MENTALLY AS A PERSON AND AN ARTIST.
Pink Me U p Designer Thomas Truong Photographers Jaudon Morris, Tania Chavez Model Ava Weissgarber Layout Jaina Wong
079
FASHION DESIGN medium
T
THOMAS TRUONG pink me up
his garment was created to break through the barriers of limitation as well as spreading awareness on a sustainable approach to art. The medium for this artwork is recycled fabric. The reason I chose to do a sustainability project is that even though there is a lot of awareness being spread, there is not enough practice of using sustainable products to create wonderful clothes or works of art. With the recycled fabric, I wanted to make it more playful and appealing to the eye. When I associate some things with sustainable materials, it is not always the best quality or the most appealing to the eye, so my outfit was created to be more contemporary and cute. As for the photoshoot, we went and played along with the theme of playfulness and cute, but still keeping it classy and professional as a fashion garment. This piece is a testament to me exceeding my limitations and creating something wonderful and original. I do not know what kind of fashion designer I will become, but this is only the beginning of my journey, and I am very excited to see what I will become!
080
081
Photography Cantrell Ryan Layout Jaylyne Nguyen
083
PHOTOGRAPHY digital
CANTRELL RYAN
imagination fascination
M
y goal is to let people who see my art have an idea of how I see the environment and society around me. Given that I was diagnosed with ADHD, I tend to drift away into my thoughts easily and this gives me the opportunity to grow my creativity. I want to explore and gain a deeper perspective on photography. My artwork displays visions I have about myself and my environment. Whenever I plan to take pictures, my sort of switches to autopilot and think of a new idea, striving to be better than my previous works and different from everyone else’s ideas and above all, tell a story. My favorite topic in photography is astrophotography (which many of my pieces feature some aspect of the night sky and the Milky Way).
I
’ve always been so fascinated about the extremeness, weirdness, beauty, and unexplainably of the cosmos. Looking up at the night sky drives my creativity and ambitions further than any other place/time. I love to shoot the Milky Way because not only does it add beauty to our slowly diminishing night sky (thanks to light pollution) but adds character to my visions. Usually when shooting the Milky Way I like to add some sort of human/ nature element as these additions give the viewer a sense of size and adds personality to the image overall. When crafting the human element portion of my pictures, I like to add more than one human element (for example the duplication of myself in the staircase image and the Milky Way image silhouettes). I like to do this because I believe it adds more character and overall makes the images appear more complete and less “boring” than that of just one human element. I have not (yet) had any other models other than myself in my work. The pieces shown represent my topic of imagination by displaying my perspective in sort of a dream-like essence, especially in my space-themed artwork. Most of my art features fictional personalities paired with a real element, whether it be nature or human. For finding ideas, I usually get inspirations from other artists and try to make my work like theirs but different at the same time.
084
“I’ve always been so fascinated about the extremeness, weirdness, beauty, and unexplainably of the cosmos.”
085
GIULIANA VARGAS
PHOTOGRAPHY digital
T
he exploration of “self � correlates with the notion of self-love and embracing what it truly means to be unapologetically yourself in life. The essence of being and beginning to be unapologetically yourself is the vision I strived to capture. As there is a beauty to me of not pretending to be something you’re not and that first step towards achieving it. This transitional period that you are becoming comfortable in your own skin; I choose to depict this stage in my life as a moment of light. This moment of luminescence was the most important stage in my life, as this was when I truly realized that I should never dim my light for anyone I encounter on my journey. This development commenced to light up my life and lit up the encounters that I had on a day to day bases. This awaking was my realization the catalyst of courage that transformed and led me to become the person I am today. I can proudly say that today I no longer dim my light for anyone I come across. Furthermore, I do suggest to others out there to take that risk, and to set an example for those who have just yet to lignite their light. Show love within
your encounters with everyone and be most importantly kind; as we are all humans going through our own struggles in this life. All it takes one positive encounter to change someone life to show them that it is okay to be who they are no matter the setting. So, live your true self and be unapologectic and see how you will shine in the face of the fabricated personailites. Do this for your own justice and see what it feels like to breathe in your own skin.
Photographer + Layout Giuliana Vargas Model + Creative Direction Malik Martin Makeup Artist Lauren Ashlee, Trinity Taylar Media Crew Mesha Thompson Set Crew John Collins
086
“luminescence”
“the essence of being and beginning to be unapologetically yourself”
From the Outside Artist Emily Cavender Layout Jaina Wong
089
FINE ART medium
EMILY CAVENDER from the outside
E
mily Cavender is a surrealist whose work rooted in the imagination. Her work is by no means realistic and throughout her oeuvre, she tends to push the boundaries of reality. This is reflected through emphasized proportions, bold emotions, and everything opposite of realism. She loves to work with the aspects of dimensions, color, and movement through fluid and colorful depictions of recognizable but warped iconography that blends into the slime-like designs. These works are reflective of her going through moments and emotions universal to everybody. The expressions and feelings are depicted by her use of surrealism to further the idea to bring back more modernist art instead of continuing down the current trend of realism as the abstract is more interesting, in her opinion, to look at and better express these complex ideas.
“These artworks REPRESENT EXPERIENCES that I have been through and how I respond to those. Some may be bleak and some may be bright, but the point is that they are RAW AND UNFILTERED.�
090
Photographer Jacob Tran Photographer Assistant Luke Nguyen Model Rachel Dang Layout Jaina Wong
T H E C O L O R W H I T E
093
PHOTOGRAPHY digital
JACOB TRAN
the color white
T
o understand the overall concept of this set and idea of “self ”, let us do an inquiry on the dominant color of the pictures. What is the meaning of the color white? In color psychology white is the color of new beginnings, of wiping the slate clean, so to speak. It is the blank canvas waiting to be written upon. While white isn’t stimulating to the senses, it opens the way for the creation of anything the mind can conceive. White contains an equal balance of all the colors of the spectrum, representing both the positive and negative aspects of all colors. Its basic feature is equality, implying fairness and impartiality, neutrality and independence. With that understanding, I really wanted to reflect it in my work and myself by utilizing the dominant color technique. All my colleagues and peers know that I love color; however, I feel like the color white speaks strongly within me (which funny because it relates back to the concept that white is the summation of all the colors of the spectrum) and I wanted to express that. I am that blank, bare white canvas that is destined to be colored and illustrated upon. I feel like I was very fortunate in my upbringing as a young adult by having a loving family and I never really had to worry about anything because my parents worked so hard giving my siblings and I a better life. Growing up in white suburbia, all I ever had to really worry about is how to live life and whatever career I do in the near future I have to try to be the best at what I do. My canvas does not contain extreme trauma or hardships in which would propel me to do the things I do. I am fueled by inspiration all around me, it’s quite addicting simply because of my learner mind-set. I am surrounded by creative friends that help push me to become better and I am so thankful for that. My biggest flaw is being a perfectionist in my craft; I can never feel satisfied with what I do. I think that is one of the negative traits of the color white which is completely okay to accept. The color white is cleanliness personified; however, it can give the feeling of sterility and coldness of emotions. It’s the anxiety that the color white gives that I feel with my work. I can sometimes be very critical to myself in need of perfection and I would sometimes hide my flaws from others to give an impression of perfection. I will not let that side defeat me as a creative.
094
The beauty of photography is that it captures motion in a specific time. Having Rachel (the model) dressed in all white, we played with different ways in how we could capture the fluid motion of a white cloth that served to complement her different poses. The combination of shooting mid-day and the dominant color of white, all the colors from the image turned out how I imagined it to be. From a different perspective, the aesthetic of Rachel wearing all white with the white cloth plays on the alternative definition of the word “self ”. The adjective form of the word “self ” is defined as: (of a trimming or cover) of the same material and color as the rest of the item. Framing and positioning were utilized in ways that help serve a balance of Rachel, her clothes, the cloth and everything in the background. That’s what I love about photography is that it requires the perspective of the photographer to make it come alive. You are seeing what I am seeing. All-in-all, this shoot with Rachel is a thesis of how photographers are one with their photograph. Even though my work does not contain me in it, my work defines who I am and shows the accumulation of everything in my life leading up to that specific moment.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THE COLOR WHITE?
“WHITE IS THE COLOR OF NEW BEGINNINGS, OF WIPING THE SL ATE CLEAN, SO TO SPEAK. IT IS THE BL ANK CANVAS WAITING TO BE WRIT TEN UPON.”
095
life of a writer the life of a writer isn’t a simple one. we tend to have a lot of feelings, and sometimes they build up over years but other times they show up in a matter of weeks. writers, we tend to fall in love with the person who held the door open for us. we consume ourselves with love for the barista who made us our coffee. we’ve lived many lives. all of them made up of heart breaks and whiskey. our minds know no boundaries, and we constantly think about others. most times we are alone but we still wish we had someone to share that time with. someone to understand the madness in our minds. writers try to create a home to hold us up, but most times it’s always just a lot of chaos that surrounds us and drives us mad. we have learned to live with our hearts ahead of our minds, disregarding the darkness that follows us through our stories. wishing to always be on your thoughts, and to be immortal. we wish to be loved by anyone, a beating heart. when we write, we write to fill the voids that are left from those that have come and gone. yet our writing fills the voids of others that care to listen. with all my love, luna
Writing Ulisa Luna Layout Robynn Aviles
my eyes and blackholes i’ve always wanted my eyes to be the kind of eyes that make a person want to build societies out of dust. the kind that a person thinks and gets distracted by when they’re meant to be busy. the kind that makes you feel like you’re swimming through oceans of lust. the way yours make me feel, everyday. it wasn’t until today that i learned, my eyes are more powerful than a black hole, my eyes swallow your heart and never let go. they make you feel like the clocks have stopped ticking and you feel multitudes of emotions beating through your veins so. my eyes encapsulate the entire universe, and i wish they could be staring back at yours. with all my love, luna
097
coffee when i was 5, i would watch my mother drink her coffee and i would think that she was weird. why would anyone want to drink something so intimidating? when i was 15, i tried a sip of what could only be sugar with a little bit of coffee. i thought it was delicious and sweet. when i turned 20, i began drinking it black and bitter, but still, it filled me with happiness. i never understood why anyone would change that. — my darling, why would you love someone who loves only some of you? with all my love, luna
098
i’ve seen you in my dreams “i’ve seen you in my dreams. you’re the one who always has a longing stare. you never seem to smile, and i wonder why. your aura is so captivating. i want to be around it for the rest of time.” “i’ve seen you in my visions. you have fire in your heart. you learned to smile, and i still don’t know why. your hands have a strong hold on me. i never want to be let go.” “i’ve seen you around. you’re the one who never looks anyone in the eyes. you have a subtle smile, and i want to know why. the smell of your hair catches my attention. i want to smell it forever” with all my love, luna
099
PHOTOGRAPHY digital
J ROBYNN AVILES idyll
The following six photos are a portion of a concentration series that revolves around supplying the mind a visual representation for concepts and ideas we are aware of in definitional understanding, but have no direct physical entity or representation to recognize. For example, the idea of Commitment summons up images of a union, a wedding, and an establishment of companionship. Death, a common and popular concept that still raises its questions, pushes forward images of a skull, a funeral, a scene of a mother holding the body of a child, black, darkness, coldness, and so on. But what about more “uncommon” or philosophical concepts? Idolization could pull in religion and placements of pedestals after some thoughts, raise attractiveness and beauty. How about Ego or Epoche? Or Aufhebung and Hiraeth? Decorum and Prohairesis? Simultaneously, I wanted to emphasize a subtleness of sensuality that steadily progressed between phases of being revealing and phases of concealment. Idolization becomes represented in the image of the model looking up towards a light shining from the left, golden tears crawling down her cheeks. I wanted to reflect a small reference to the popular Pieta by Michelangelo, but focus on a “grungified” or darker image of Mary/the Mother Figure in which instead of being aware of her child’s fate and purpose, she questions the reality of suffering and loss, and why she should even obey a formless light. Inspiration is drawn from the heavy Machismo and Marianismo found in religion, specifically in reference to my father’s association with Jehovah’s Witnesses. Ego and Infallibility finds themselves in a girl shrouded by harsh light, a black fur coat, and lace. Eyes expand in absorption of words that light the flicker of attention and appreciation. Epoche, a Greek term that has been understood to mean a suspension of judgment, a skepticism that falls in line with to refrain from reaching a conclusion in executing a decision for Ataraxia.
100
Ataraxia, put simply, is a state of being that has been liberated from worry, pain, or distress. A serene calmness that overcomes the individual. Inspiration is drawn from the consciousness to choose ignorance over awareness (and the memory of having the habit to draw random symbols and glyphs as a kid). Anything in close association or that reminds the thought of something demonic, hellish, witchcraft-like, Pagan/ Wiccan, or simply non-Christian has often resulted in the anxious roll of the shoulders and questions. Anything sensual or blatantly sexual is scoffed at when presented to minds that aren’t desensitized to the idea of skin. But, individuals such as you and I, who enjoy creating or idolizing the presentation of the body, see it differently. Makes us happy. The image of the girl wrapped in layers of white cloth follows a similar theme in the comfort of exposure. Aufhebung is a German word that is known to contradict itself. The dilemma to actually not take into thought the opinion others or simply fall in line with what’s expected for the public eye. To conceal or to reveal. Inspiration was mainly drawn from my recovery from surgery and the effort of keeping my head up as other dancers, who used to see me as competition, happily sneered and took my place in choreography and a recital. The layers of cloth stand for the bandages that tightly wrapped around the entirety of my leg; over sheets of skin, dried blood, and desperation. From the wall, I watched them leap while I lost the body and muscle I worked hard for; to make myself deem as decent. The final image, the boy covered in an array of bandaids and a chain, stands for Hiraeth, a Welsh concept of a deep longing or missing of someone, something, a time, or a home. Bandaids and the color white often brought forth the idea of security for me. But lost its meaning over time.
101
103
104
Idolization Model & Makeup Sophie LG Ego Model & Wardrobe Bleu Epoche Model Alex Travell Aufhebung Mode Aisha Hiraeth Model Tanner Jackson Layout Robynn Aviles
WRITING Writer
S
he was standing there in all of her little cuteness. She was as loveable as they come: 5’3”, pink hair, hello kitty stickers adorning those crinkles that people sometimes get near their eyes . There she stands in all of her pinkness. At first glance she represents the epitome of innocence with her button nose peeking out from her face and those eyes that always seem to look out from beneath her lashes. Many see what they want to see, many pass by her without a second glance or thought, other than maybe noting that her eyebrows were a different color than eyebrows usually are. The clothing that she dons every day is always colorful and jovial as if no one could dare take happiness from her. She was cute, even to the green frog backpack that she used every day and the adorable rainbow shoes that encased her feet. She was too cute that nobody bothered to get a closer look at who she really was, at who actually lurked beneath the bright colors, stickers, and pink. Like most people, she had secrets that she hid from the rest of the world. However, her secrets were the kind that could destroy someone, and they nearly destroyed her. One of these secrets didn’t culminate in the darkness, it was the darkness. And the worst of it all was the fact that nobody knew the darkness that turned and toiled beneath the surface of her porcelain skin. They only ever saw the outside that she had so carefully crafted and could never really see the monster that hid just beyond that first layer. That saying that beauty is only skin deep was mortally true for this girl. If anybody saw beyond what she wanted them to see, and if her secret was out, then she was in mortal danger. She could only be a monster if no one knew what she was until she had captured them. She was actually evil dressed and done up in pink sparkles and unicorns. She was special, I could feel it, he could feel it, she could feel it. She held something that no other human being that we had met had held before. Not until it was too late did I realize exactly what kind of secret it was that she held. The clues were held in the nervousness that always arose when she was near us, that disap-
106
LILY RHINES Pink Hair
peared so quickly and could change in an instant. She slipped from skin to skin, living as an entity that would be the best suited for making us believe that she was good. Slowly, I discovered that the sugary words that came from her mouth were tainted from harmful vowels laced within. The words that came from her mouth were those that dripped with sweetness, but held a sour sense. They tried to warn me about her, they really did. But I blew them off saying, “I think she’s probably changed since you were friends, I mean she is with him after all. And he’s a good kid.” And that was that, until I learned who she truly was. She never fully captured me. She captured someone that I loved dearly, someone that had been my best friend for as long as I could remember, and she turned him from me. She turned him towards that darkness that she hid so well. She turned him around so that he could only see her and so that she could hold him in her clutches. She was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a shapeshifter whose true form was a slimy calculating dragon. There was no helping him or saving him from her clutches .There she was standing there in all of her little cuteness. A face that I never thought that I’d see again and a face that has haunted my bad dreams, a face I will never trust again. She was evil down the last fiber of the core of her being. The sparkles and happy colors painted on her face each day hid the true darkness that lurked beneath the surface. She destroyed you and I feel the blame resting upon me. I should’ve known, I should’ve been there to protect you and guard you from that evil monster that lurked behind those innocent looking eyes. But now that I know who she truly is, I can defeat the monster that slithers beneath her skin.
Writing Lily Rhines Illustrator Emily Elliott Layout Giuliana Vargas
“no one could dare take happiniess from her� 107
J
Artist Hollie Puterbaugh Layout Darren Dobson
Succumb Succumb to to Anxiety Anxiety 109
FINE ART digital
HOLLIE PUTERBAUGH
succumb to anxiety
W
hen I first heard that the prompt was Self, I had no idea what I was going to create. My identity and who I am is a difficult thing for me to grasp. Sure, I’m a 19-year-old cis female from Texas. But what aspects make me, me? When I initially thought about this, the thing that first came to my mind was my anxiety. Although I wish I didn’t have anxiety, it is a huge part of my life that affects me every day. The best way I can think of to describe what having anxiety is like is that mini heart attack you get when you’re walking down the stairs and you almost miss a step, but constantly. I decided to create these pieces to display visually to others how it feels to have that feeling. The general composition in both of the pieces is a self-portrait of me being taken over by the personified version of the feeling of anxiety (the waves of water). The first piece, titled “Let Go”, is me trying to fight my anxiety. I wanted to depict that I was losing the fight so the waves are almost overtaking me. I titled it “Let Go” because I wanted to foreshadow the next piece. The next piece, titled “Chaotic Tranquility”, is me drowning in the waves to show that I am succumbing to the feeling of anxiety. One of the things that inspired me to create these pieces is the song “Breathe” by Lee Hi. It’s a song that I listen to often because of the relaxing melody and the way it calms me down. Although the song is in a different language, the emotion it brings inspired me to create the waves that are crashing down on the girl in the drawing. The deep breath you take before falling underwater can be thought of as the most crucial thing that is done before succumbing to the waves and I wanted to replicate that moment with the personification of anxiety. Often times, a person who has anxiety can also suffer from panic attacks which makes it hard to breathe so I also took that into consideration while creating these pieces. I also created this piece because of my personal battle with anxiety. I chose to create this piece digitally because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. I had originally planned to do it traditionally with watercolors because that’s how I usually create my pieces, but I wanted to try to do it digitally because I already that a concept sketch completed with colors I did not like. There is not a deep meaning behind the medium per se, but there is definitely a meaning behind the color palette I chose. I decided to
110
make the waves red instead of blue because when I think of panic, I automatically think of the color red. I colored the girl the way I did in order to make her look like me. Overall, these pieces were made to show others how it feels to have intense anxiety. I wanted to show anxiety in a way that was personified so that the viewers can understand and relate to the artworks.
111
perception
G
rowing up as a first-generation child it was very hard for me to find a sense of self-identity as I was always conflicted with 2 different cultures having an impact on my life with my parent’s Vietnamese heritage and the American pop culture that constantly surrounded me everywhere I went. There were many times where I felt that I did not fit in with the norms of society and it caused me to become insecure about who I was and where I belong. I feel like that idea of thinking greatly affected my journey as a photographer in the beginning. At times it would be very hard for me to do photoshoots that reflected who I was as a photographer which is why I did not release work for a period of time. There have been times where I’ve gone through a creator’s block due to the fact that I was always scared to do photoshoots that were out of my comfort zone. It wasn’t until I started meeting more of my peers in the photography community who helped me step out of that comfort zone and realize that as long as I was releasing art that I was proud of then that would be good enough. After I got over my creator’s block I started to find my passion for photography again and started “floating away from reality” and stereotypes that held me down from releasing work in the first place due to the fact I was scared of what people would think of my work. This whole process has helped me come closer and closer to finding my own brand of photography that I am happy with releasing and sharing with the world. Personally, I feel that my brand of shooting right now definitely has a mood of tones to it as I mainly specialize in portrait shoots. I have been trying to expand my repertoire of photography by doing more concert and landscape shots as well. The reason I submitted these photos was to show the growth of myself as a photographer and the journey of finding my sense of selfidentity. What continues to drive me to create more art is that it gives me affirmation that I am not content and being standstill as a creative. By constantly doing shoots and creating art, I feel that it shows the passion I have for photography and that I’m constantly improving myself as a person. Using photography and social media as my medium helped me reach new heights of expressing myself to the world by giving me a platform to fully show who I am a person and a photographer. I feel that without having photography as my medium, I would not be where I am today. Photography has opened up so many new paths for me to take and choose from and I am extremely happy with the journey I’ve had so far.
PHOTOGRAPHY digital
ANDREW NGUYEN
113
114
115
116
Sweet Tease
Fashion Designer Carlos “Renacio� Reyes Photographer Jaudon Morris Model Westly Woods Set Design Adrian Breceda, Jaudon Morris, Kenrick Torres, Tania Chavez Layout Nate Bishara
117
FASHION DESIGN
S
CARLOS “RENACIO” REYES
ince the beginning of my brand I have been very headstrong on making lasting industry connections. Being said, I did not expect to be received so well, especially with such high profile stars. Wesley Woods has been one of my longest and strongest supporters. Having walked in two of my fashion shows, he has been an asset to my brand’s establishment. Aside from the professional process we have been keeping up with each other as friends. Even though Wesley lives in LA now for his Adult Film job, he was born and raised here in North Texas and visits a handful of times a year. This leads me to the ranch where we shot at which also happens to be his childhood home that his family still owns in Greenville. I interpreted the topic of “self ” as to reflect Wesley and his personal ties to the south. During the car ride, Wesley would talk to me about his youth and reminisce in the memories that he made in this city. We can so easily be distracted by what’s going on in our present and future that we forget to go back and reflect on the upbringing that molded us into the people we are today. This photoshoot gave him the opportunity to go back and participate in a creative collaboration that tied in his childhood home. We incorporated a lot of nostalgic elements such as his ranch pasture, his dog, pond and love for sweet tea into the shoot. The baroque and color-blocking twist is what brings the element of self and nostalgia into the editorial realm. The outfit, which is a custom up-cycled and re-tailored ensemble is made by myself as well as the ascot. I also tied in the picnic aspect to be within the same color palette. Lastly, the sweet tea motif was a lovely and personal way to bring in that strong southern cultural branding. My brand ‘Renacio’ for the most part has been mainly expressing the darker and sexier side of fashion. This shoot gave me an opportunity to show what else I have that is easier to digest for the more casual clients eye. As much as I love my black laces and gowns, I have been wanting to explore the other facets that I have to offer with fashion. The suit jacket, shorts and ascot were all carefully designed and tailored for a casual fit on Wesley. I was hoping for a relaxed fit and easy-going lux vibe, beautifully enough it did just that. The photography team was fantastic and added excellent creative input that really helped push the level of
118
Sweet Tease
set design over the top. The standard that I like to hold to myself and the team that I work with is often met with compromise and creative distance. However, this is a rare occasion in which I feel as though the final product hit the nail on the head and met those high expectations.
“When nothing else subsists from the past, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered...the smell and taste of things remain poised a long time, like souls... bearing resiliently, on tiny and almost impalpable drops of their essence, the immense edifice of memory” ¢ Marcel Proust
119
120
121
THE SEARCH Photography Tina Tran Layout Jarrett Crepeau
THE PONDERING 123
PHOTOGRAPPHY
C
TINA TRAN
Haven
olor. It’s described as a characteristic of human visual perception. We see color in all things and give meaning to them. For me, I see the world through color because it allows me to appreciate the existence and beauty of life in a more lively and vivid perspective. So, color played a major role in these photos. As for the story or content itself, I wanted to create a photo series that focuses on “finding myself ” and realizing that what made me who I am today is where I grew up. Home has always had an influence on how I view myself and the world around me. The house that I lived in, the streets I played on, and just the whole sense of being “home” each has given a part of itself to my soul. I lived in an open yet secure neighborhood. My redbrick house lied in the center of all the other ones with green trees surrounding the corridor. The sky would appear a pastel blue every night during the evening before setting to a myriad of warm colors. I remember always sitting in front of the beige garage with my eyes stuck on the simplicity of the colorful sky. All of these memories were incorporated into the photos. The sense of belonging and knowing where you came from is a major part of how people come to be. As we grow, we move and experience new things coloring ourselves to make us into vivid human beings. It all begins at the starting point, home. Universally, it doesn’t have to be the place you grew up in, home is anywhere you can feel safe and loved enough to express yourself as a person. I feel most myself when I’m back at the place where I learned my passion for the arts, experimenting with the differentVV colors and beauty around me. My heart and soul is who I am, and even though it’s cliche, it’s true that home is where the heart is. When I am home, I am happy. I can be as creative, selfless, and vivid as I can. The soul that I have been searching for has always been at home, the place where I feel most me. With this, the series of portraits consists of four parts: The Search, The Pondering, The Epiphany, and The Answer, each one depicting the act of being lost in oneself and not knowing where to find that feeling of self again to realizing that who you are has always been at the place where you feel most you, which is home. ‘The Search’ is about losing your sense of self and wanting to find who you are again. ‘The Pondering’ is the act of self-doubt and longing for something or somewhere to make you feel safe and loved enough to be yourself. ‘The Epiphany’ is realizing that what you want is to have a sense of who you are meant to be and knowing your worth. Then, lastly, ‘The Answer’ is finally getting to a state of peace in that what you’ve been looking for, your soul, has been close to you all along, home.
124
THE ANSWER
125
FINE ART Painting
LUCAS IBARRA Daemonicus
T
his specific painting was done on wood paneling.
I
wanted to create something that emulated the styles and aesthetics of old horror movie posters, while also bringing the demonization of the LGBTQ+ community by religious groups into it. I wanted to create an image of what these people paint us to be with the dangerous falsehoods they spread. A lot of hate is spread without any attempt at trying to see the people underneath or without regard for human emotion. We are seen as degenerates, not worthy of God’s love, or even respect. Hate is spewed from hypocritical mouths without any attempt at self-reflection and it has culminated in a culture of homophobia and its normalization over several hundred years. This is the reason I thought it would be interesting to toy around with the idea of basing a painting off of the way we are viewed by the religious community. The piece was created using acrylic paint and since I was trying to draw inspiration from horror movie posters of years past I wanted the piece to look like a painting. I wanted it to be very smooth and look very stylized which is why I went for the acrylic. Acrylic also happens to be the medium I am most comfortable working in as a large portion of my portraiture has been done with acrylic.
126
“HATE IS SPEWED FROM HYPOCRITICAL MOUTHS WITHOUT ANY ATTEMPT AT SELF£REFLECTION AND IT HAS CULMINATED IN A CULTURE OF HOMOPHOBIA AND ITS NORMALIZATION OVER SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS.”
127
Photographer Obi Nzeribe Model Kai’ M. Perry Layout Nate Bishara, Jaina Wong
K A I part 2
129
130
131
132
133
PHOTOGRAPHY digital
JAUDON MARKYLL
what will we do when it‘s all gone?
T
he constant God, the pale-burn orb scorches against the horizon. Itself the inverse of dark, light, therefore, returns to the world. Sunbeams infiltrate the pockmarked rot of the wooden slats constructing the silo. The light manifests spotlights of radiance in the dusty air, as if to say without gloating or fanfare, “I will be here long after you”.
A woman stirs below, rising from a warm burlap stuffed with feathers and short-cut straw. Her home is a fragile thing from a time immemorial. She knows little of her precursors; those who could draft a home with perfectly square windows or send metal needles soaring into the sky or from the huge stone trails that interweave the land as if veins upon a corpse. All the woman knew was that the sunlight rising upon her eyes was a simple request, “Make use of the time I give you”. The woman sweeps through what had once been called an orchard. Her fingers drag and skip across the roughness of the bark. A half-step back her skirt snags on a wayward shrub. Earthen eyes gaze upon itself; she glides to a stop. “Half dead,” she remarks with a twinge of disappointment. Sure enough, the apple tree is greyed and marred. Without its verdant hairs, it is nothing but twisted bone. A broken bird to be healed; arrayed like fingers the upturned roots lift in praise to their constant God. Even still, life does not end without a fight, and selflessness is a trait seen in even the most basic of nature. Upon a gnarled dead branch, a single scarlet apple hangs, sagging the arm with its vermillion plumpness. Life always continues, that does not mean life will always remain the same. Inflicted with the passage of time this proud and massively complex tree has reduced itself to a single seed. The woman smiles because she knows that’s all it takes; she takes this apple in her hand and with a defiant snap the apple is pulled from the tree. Now the tree shows no discernible signs of life. Surely the tree’s life may still exist below the ground in its roots, safe from the fires of the world. Maybe it lies in wait, licking its wounds until it can generate another singular apple as progeny. Are we so different? When the cataclysm came long ago, and the sky burned until the sea boiled and razed the earth away did her people not sink into the subterranean depths? Is she not herself the apple? A small singular iota of something that used to be much, much larger, shaken from its whole to become something new? A woman holds an apple against the sunlight. She ponders for a long while what the apple looks like, its glossy exterior catching a glint as a shadow is cast over her iris. The morning sun begins to hoist itself higher into the sky, so she sets off towards the settlement and places the apple into her wicker basket. As the charred grasses and broken trees fall into the foreground, she finds the answer to her question. She decides it looks like Hope.
134
Photographer Jaudon Morris Model Bennie Miller Writer Braden Arnold Layout Robynn Aviles
136
137
138
139
Artwork Andrea Navarrete
140
Layout Jarrett Crepeau
Amalgamation
141
FINE ART ink on paper
ANDREA NAVARRETE Amalgamation
As we live on this planet, we all get labels, ones put on by society, family and some put on by ourselves. Words are powerful, they can make you feel connected and they can make you feel alone. But there is a certain kind of power when you decide which words will become a part of your story and which ones will be tossed aside to be a part of someone else’s story. When I think of my own identity being a Mexican-American, Latina, artist, daughter, sister and friend, I choose words that feel empowering. During the brainstorming process, I chose words that best describe me, words that formed part of my identity, words that I found interesting and contours of past sketches of my body. I reflected on my culture, my experiences, my fears, and dreams. I wanted this piece to be an expression of my being and my mind. The mind is so complex and beautiful, always expanding, always buzzing with new information and ideas. Our thoughts, ideas, and experiences are what makes everyone special and their path on life unique. I broke apart my chosen words and images and re-arranged them to make an amalgamation of thoughts and lines that represented me and everything else that goes on in my mind. My process was completely intuitive, I trusted my mind to create its own representation. After I decided on my words and images, I used different parts of the same words and traced them over each other, using repetition to give a sense of unity throughout. Repetition can often give us a sense of stability, finding comfort in routine. Blank spaces were filled with lines and dots that helped with the dynamic of the piece. In a way, they represent musings and daydreams, the mind’s way of expressing itself and taking a break from its constant thought. I used lines all throughout and explored different ways that I could create different marks. The medium I used, was an ink pen. Ink can be both messy and crisp at the same time, it is very easy to manipulate but once the ink meets paper there’s no going back, no erasing just working with what you have and making the best of it. I find ink really emphasis the versatility that lines have, and make the transition really smooth. I chose ink as my medium because I wanted to achieve clean, simple lines to represent mental clarity which is something I actively try to pursue. Our minds are a balance of chaos and peace, ebbing and flowing from one side to the other. Through meditation, I find that my connection with myself gets stronger when I acknowledge my thoughts and feelings and find a stillness in the midst of them. For this reason, I opted out of making the drawings too muddled and the lines too messy and included a break from the business in the middle. All these elements together to work towards creating a visual representation of my mind. Every mind is different but there are always shared commonalities that connect us as human beings as we continue our paths.
142
“Our minds are a balance of cha os and pea ce, ebbing and fl owing from one side t o the o ther. �
VICTORIA NGUYEN PHOTOGRAPHY
M
y name is Victoria Nguyen, a photographer based in Dallas. I created this piece just for the sole reason of wanting to create art. My friend Toma and I had been adventuring around Las Vegas for the entire day. We finally got back to our hotel room late at night. My creative senses were flowing, and I had the desire to pick of my camera to create art. Traveling has a great impact in sparking my creativity. New surroundings, people, and environments inspire me and help me see the world in a different light. I asked Toma if she would be interested in doing a photoshoot in our hotel room just for the fun of it. She was so excited and we immediately put together an outfit and did her makeup. During the photoshoot I directed her to jump around, make crazy movements, and strike unique poses. We played her favorite songs and absolutely just having a blast with the spontaneity of the photoshoot. The photographs taken from this photoshoot is a great representation of my personality, style, and creativity. As an individual, I am known for being spontaneous and always having the desire to go on an adventure. Fashion photography is my main focus and passion. Therefore, having the opportunity to be able to style my friend in her own unique fashion choices, I happily was able to convey her unique style and personality in the photographs as well. The environment of the hotel room was something that I enjoyed working with because I love making something out of nothing. The entire photoshoot was spontaneous, random, but most importantly it was fun. That’s what I love about photography, it’s having fun with expressing my creativity. These photographs are a reflection of myself because everything that I love about photography is represented within them.
144
“New surroundings, people, and environments inspire me and help me see the world in a different light ”
“Late Nights”
Model Toma Dayton
Layout Giuliana Vargas
Photographer Victoria Nguyen
A Magnificent Enemy I imagine all of the records of my life and my memories to be in a very large library. My thoughts, my passions, the things I’m most excited about having sections to themselves with memories stored in them. Though a library would seem to be the most calm place to store everything that is me, it would get messy quite easily. The hopes and dreams I so meticulously put up fly from their shelves whenever I give up on them, and to replace them from the deepest parts of the library would come forth, that being my fears and self loathing. Instead of neatly replacing what they so rudely ripped off the shelf, they would create a sort of storm whenever they arrive. Had this storm been easily quelled with simple, tangible things, it would have been defeated long ago. Or perhaps if I had faced the monster of a storm head on long ago I would have been able to tame it. Regardless, it’s as a festering wound that’s been left alone too long and I fear it will be the end of me. I combat this monster, storm, this fear with small weaponry, enough to keep me from being totally defeated. Yet I want to totally defeat it, hoping that one day I will completely get rid of it.
Writen by: LaMya McGilvery Illustration & Layout: Andrea Navarrete
146
Pragma
A love like this I never couldve imagined I could have it After shattering his heart like glass Though he hurt me as much as I did him I still feel guilty And now here I am with you You who insists on complimenting me daily Who hates to see me cry Who wants to give me the universe And trusts me with secrets that were locked behind a steel door in the vault of your mind You could write volumes about your love for me And I cant imagine why you would To me I’m just an ordinary human Not of much caliber Nor of much interest And yet you still think highly of me To you I can do no wrong And a kind of unrelenting love of which you show me frightens me a little I’ve never been giving anything so precious as this This type of love is foreign to me But I’m so grateful that it is for me
147
148 148
Masc
Photographer Nate Bishara Models Hunter Lockett Layout Nate Bishara
“PLAY THE GAME HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY IT, NOT HOW EVERYONE SAYS YOU SHOULD.”
150
“EXPLORE YOUR MASCULINITY WITH PRIDE, IT IS YOURS AFTERALL.”
151
152
‘FIND YOURSELF.”
153
HAUTE NOIR: DARK FASHION
Fashion Designer Carlos “Renacio” Reyes Sewing Assistants Quinn Cox and Sophie Astro Photography Jaudon Morris, Victoria Nguyen, Robynn Aviles, Tania Chavez, Nic Iparraguirre Models Arielle Espana, Ava Weissgarber, Carley Roxann, Dru Holiday, Evah Destruction, Kathy O’Connor, Kylee O’Hara Fatale, Dalton Rawson, Mulan Alexander, Siggy Sauer, Siobhan Linnane, Wesley Woods Assisting Thomas Truong and Luke Gonzales Makeup and Hair done by Haunt Noir Sta Interviewers Anastasia Logan, Don Davis and Kaitlyn Ingram
155
FASHION DESIGN
C A R L O S R EY E S ( R E N AC I O ) Overall, how do you think the show went? I had a few important objectives for the show, for the most part I checked all the boxes. Some of which include: growing my client base, selling garments, gaining more traction in the fashion industry etc…. What was your reason for putting on a show like this, what were you trying to say? My brand revolves largely around inclusivity, my models sizes range from 00 to 20, all gender identities and sexualities as well as color and race. I don’t think I can appropriately answer the question because I would say that just having the models feel comfortable in the garment is my main priority, so as long as that’s done then my message is communicated.
Why did you choose The Lizard Lounge, also known as “The Church,” as the place for your venue? Angela Ryan, the producer of the show, reached out to me about 3 seasons ago when my brand was in its infancy. Without knowing me or my skill level, she believed in my aesthetic and was one of my first big industry supporters. I am very thankful for her intervention. My brand ‘Renacio’ also fits in with the dark fashion represented by the event as well. You had celebrities in the audience watching your designs and your fashion show, how much did that mean to you, and what was it like having the stars there? Interestingly enough, I am actually personally friends with a lot of the big names that came to watch the show that night. Being apart of this industry, it forces me to go out of my comfort zone and reach out to influencers and celebrities to help broaden the reach of my brand.
Evah Destruction in Renacio shot by Jaudon Morris
What were some of the struggles or hardships that you had while putting on a show of this magnitude? Too many to express within this space. Aside from the difficulties of having to put on a whole fashion show production by myself, finding the right assistants, models, makeup artists, hairstylist etc is a nightmare in itself. Not only do I have to worry about sewing up all of these looks, but sourcing the right supplementary variables is extremely time consuming.
Siggy Sauer in Renacio shot by Victoria Nguyen
You chose professional adult entertainers and escorts as models for your show, what kind of statement where you trying to make? Porn stars, burlesque dancers and sex workers were some of the first people that reached out to me in support of my brand so I have a very special place in my heart for these individuals. Wesley Woods has been a supporter/ customer of mine since my first show and we have maintained a great rapport. There has been a great deal of discrimination that adult entertainers have dealt with in the past and this is just one way I can help to normalize their presence.
avant garde, the Guo Pei show I saw was also a great fountain of inspiration. Which look(s) were your favorite? I have mixed feelings about the outfits in the show, but I am absolutely in love with the olive gold and black lace bustier gown that Carley Roxanne wore. This is a great example of the ideal situation for me where the gown, model and scene are all cohesive and work great.
Can you walk us through your process of first finding inspiration, sketching, actually making the garments then making adjustments, to the final and finished product? Being that I am very busy, I will usually skip the sketching aspect of this process and go straight into designing. My main method of dress making is draping so the creation of silhouette and fabric choice will happen all at once. The model that I have booked to wear the piece is also a huge source of inspiration. Are there any couture designers who helped inspire your line or who are a huge inspiration to you? Having worked backstage at Paris Fashion Week this summer, I got first hand interaction with clothes made from Ralph Rucci. Working with a client base that is a bit more
Carley Roxanne in Renacio shot by Jaudon Morris
Why did you choose the last look as the showstopper? This look took almost a week to complete, this tuxedo dress was originally a commissioned piece for Kylee O’hara Fatale, the drag host of ‘The Queer Off ’ in Dallas. I loved the design for the very beginning and had to have her come show it off, she was elegant and gave the massive gown graceful walk it deserved. What’s one thing you would like people to have taken away from your show? The message of inclusivity. I think the fashion industry focuses too much on an unrealistic body type and ‘look’. I try to break that mold as much as possible, making sure that I represent as many types of real people as possible within a 12 look collection. Kylee O’Hara Fatale in Renacio shot by Jaudon Morris
157
158
F O R M O R E H AU T E N O I R C O N T E N T V I S I T O V E R -M A G A Z I N E .C O M
159
ART DIRECTOR’S NOTE Giuliana Vargas
T
hank you to team is all I can say. I’m honored to have had this opportunity to get to meet and work with every single artist I have come across. Who would have imagined that we all started off as strangers and through every meeting, project, and event we have grown stronger together as creatives. To the artists in Over I applaud you as I have seen so much talent and hard work. Most importantly I thank you for your time and for choosing to be part of our team and for allowing us to be part of your ongoing journey. To every creator apart of Over I hope that this magazine experience has helped you grow career wise and as a person. This team of various and passionate creatives has worked in the span of half a year to put together not only a magazine, but we have also hosted numerous events since the summer. Coming close to a year now of being Over’s creator director I would have never imagined the impact that this magazine has had in such a short amount of time. Seeing this idea of PHOTO TAKEN BY JAUDON MORRIS creating a magazine being turned into a reality gives me the confidence that anything is possible. Not only as young artists and creatives have, we all accomplished working and perfecting our craft through the experience of Over, but we have done it together. Every step we have taken on this journey, we moved in sequenced as team, learning from each other through love and critique. There is not team I could have imagined better than Over staff or would have wanted to work with. Thank you for allowing me to be your creative director and for seeing the vision in my crazy ideas. Once again, I am beyond grateful for this ongoing experience and being able to see us grow together. Issue by issue we are learning how to perfect our systems and work efficiently as creators. To our readers this message is for you and I challenge you to keep an eye on Over magazine as this is just the start for us and truly more is yet to come.
160
Thank you for reading.
Illustrations by Emily Elliott
For more content, visit www.over-magazine.com
FALL 2019
#2 “SELF”