The Independence Issue

With articles on...

Dating In An Asian Household The Meaning Behind Names Workplace Struggles

Featuring Interviews with...

Lara Eurodolian Emily Ryu Tiffany Phung Jenay Ross

editor’s note editor’s note editor’s note Dear OM readers, How many of you have been told that you could do something once, A. You got married B. You paid your own bills or, C. Both?

Independence can feel out of reach, for an Asian girl. Your prospects for marriage, the community’s opinion of you, and your chance at getting into Harvard are brought up every time you try to sleep over at a friends house. It can feel a little strange going to college for the first time - Harvard or not - and having the freedom to do whatever you wanted, as long as your grade stayed up. For thousands of Asian girls, that freedom has been further curtailed by the pandemic that, for those of us unlucky enough to live in the US, has no end in sight. For many of us, we taste independence for the first time by living vicariously through a friend - or an article.

That’s what I’ve been doing all through this pandemic. Escaping to a different house, country, or lifetime for an afternoon is one of my favorite ways of coping, and I hope it can help you too. We’ve got a great issue for you.

Yours, Rehana Paul Founder and Editor-in-Chief

What’s in a Name?

Growing Up Filipina and Jewish

Written by Mika Alexander

Mika Alexander is a rising sophomore at Colorado College studying anthropology, political science and linguistics. In her free time, she likes to play guitar, read, and write.

Growing up the daughter of a Polish-Jewish father and a Filipina mother, my identity has always stemmed from liminal spaces. That is, I have always sort of thought of myself as having no specific identity because I found myself caught between two very different worlds. Neither of which fully accepted me.

When I was four years old, my dad moved our small family into my grandfather’s house in the Chicago suburbs. His wife had recently passed away, so we became his support system. My grandpa was there for my birth, and he served as my babysitter when my parents went to work before we moved into his house. Living with my grandpa was one of the greatest things my parents have done for me. I have two older half-sisters, but by the time I was six, they were both much older than I, and they lived in different states. So, my grandpa became my best friend around the house. Even at 70, walking with leg braces, he played games with me, collected coins with me, and helped me study for

elementary school spelling tests. He loved me, and I loved him. Immensely.

One of the substantial things that arose from my relationship with my grandpa was my relationship with Judaism. My dad was raised religiously, but he strayed away from Judaism until I was about eight years old. My grandpa, on the other hand, had always been a firm believer in the Jewish tradition, culture, and religion. And upon living with him, he began to take me to my cousins’ house for weekly Shabbat dinners. Once my dad resituated himself in the Jewish tradition, he began to take me to Saturday services. Growing up, I felt a close relationship with Judaism as I was able to tie my family and its roots to this tradition. I felt like I belonged.

My mother, however, did not get to feel this way. Sadly, my dad was incredibly emotionally and physically abusive, which already alienated her from living a free and comfortable life.

She had few connections in the U.S. and none near Chicago. As a Filipina immigrant, she was not familiar with Judaism and had been raised a Christian. Still, she participated in Jewish traditions, holidays, and some services in order to learn more and grow closer to her new family.

But, in the midst of my eager participation in my heritage, my mom faced incredible scrutiny from my Jewish family. As Ashkenazi Jews from Poland, their skin was fair. My cousins’ family also had much accumulated wealth that my dark-skinned mom could not relate with, coming from a poor province of the Philippine Islands. Upon marrying my father, she was met with cold stares from my white family, exclusion from family events, and huge amounts of racism.

Unfortunately, as a small child, I was not able to pick out microaggressions and signs of discomfort from my mom easily. But, I have memories of interactions with my family that have caused a lot of inner turmoil and internalized anti-blackness in both my mother and myself.

I write this today, July 2nd, 2020, exactly ten years after the death of my beloved grandfather.

He was the bridge between my two identities as

a Jewish and Filipina child, and once he died, my connection to the religion almost ceased to exist.

I do not write this in order to call out the pain my family has caused my mother and me. I write this to connect the pain my mother and I have endured as a call to self-empowerment. I am no longer the clueless child I was. And now I have something to say about how I was treated as a kid and how that played into how I see myself now.

During my junior year of high school, about seven years after my grandfather’s death, I met up with both of my sisters. It was a lovely reunion, as complicated family history with our dad took away a lot of happy reunions we could have had in the past.

Anyway, our reunion was filled with talking about our past, and since I was very young when our entire family would still get together, my sisters took the time to fill me in on the realities of those events.

When I was a baby, my oldest sister got married to her first husband. Before the wedding, my aunt was in charge of invitations for a bridal party for the Chicago family. My mom and dad were married at the time, and my mom was as much a member of the family as my aunt. Yet, my aunt purposely left my mom out of the invite list after my sister told her to invite “all the women in the family.” My aunt told my grandpa’s wife that because my sister hadn’t specifically mentioned my mother’s name, she wouldn’t invite her to the party. My grandpa’s wife, who hated my aunt but loved my mom, told my father about the issue. My dad blew up in anger at my sister until she explained the truth of the situation to him.

Then my aunt sent an incredibly nasty letter vilifying her, saying she was a liar, and condemning my sister for getting married in a church (even though she was raised during the time when my dad had converted from Judaism). It was absolutely not her fault, as “all the women in the family” most definitely included my mother. This sort of thing happened a few years later, when everyone in my household was invited to a Pesach party except for my mom and me. Luckily, though, my mom had met a very nice Jewish family while shopping, and they invited us to their own Pesach party. So, while my father and grandfather enjoyed time with family during this Jewish holiday, my mom and I cele-

brated with complete strangers who welcomed us into their home.

My mom told me today, in tears, that my aunt and her mother would constantly make comments to my dad about how he “could’ve married someone better.” When my aunt’s mother met my mom, she told her, “Oh, I know lots of Filipinos who work at my healthcare place.”

These blatant microaggressions targeted at my mom and her perceived “otherness” fueled intense discomfort and led to my mom’s avoidance of any family functions that involved my cousins. So, that led to just me and my grandfather’s attendance at family dinners and parties.

“...even my mom’s FiliAll of these snide compino family ments and exclusionary acts internalized the fact and friends that my brownness made me different from the rest of my family. Yet even my couldn’t mom’s Filipino family and friends couldn’t truly see truly see me as a member of the Filipino community because me as a of my whiteness. So, I began to subconsciously identify with being nothing. I wasn’t member of a real Jew because I was also Filipino, and I wasn’t a the Filipino real Filipino because I was also white. Looking back community on it now, I felt like a visitor among my own family, white or brown, whenever I saw because of any of them. I was so clearly out of place no matter who I my whitewas with.

Consequently, I clung to my ness. “ Jewish identity and revelled in my relationship with my grandfather and my cousins as a child.

I identified as Jewish, and I took pride in my name, Mikaela Alexander (Aleksandrowicz, before my great-grandparents, immigrated to the U.S.), a Hebrew and Ashkenazi name. My mom’s immigration led to an inability to center my

identity around being Filipina because her family members were overseas. So, only being in the presence of my dad’s side, I wanted so badly to be seen as a rightful member of my own family. But my aunt never allowed for that to happen.

Besides my aunt and her mother’s acts of blatant racism and exclusion toward my mother and Ime, and many more of which I’m sure to have yet to be discussed, one final interaction between her and me catalyzed a permanent schism between my dad’s family and me.

I was about seven years old. I was playing with my cousins after a nice Shabbat dinner. I accidentally broke an LED light that I thought was a plastic pipe, as it was lying amongst all of their toys. When my aunt came downstairs to confront me, she yelled something that I will never forget: “If I was your mother, I’d hit you so hard you wouldn’t be able to sit for weeks.”

She looked at me straight in the eyes as she screamed that, steaming with anger. As I already regularly dealt with threats and actions like that from my own father, I was terrified. It was then that I realized she didn’t see me as a member of her family. She saw me as a reckless household guest that she was forced to tolerate. She said those hurtful words as if she thought my mother was raising me wrong. And I believed her. My existence was an inconvenience.

After that night, I refused to attend another Shabbat dinner. My immediate family grew worried as they wondered why I had so suddenly decided to stop seeing my cousins. They knew I loved my cousins and that I loved my aunt and uncle. But once I realized that I never fully belonged, my discomfort outweighed my desire to be loved and respected as a legitimate member of the Alexander family. I never told anyone about what my aunt said to me and how that made me feel.

While I still tried to participate spiritually in the Saturday services and other gatherings my dad would take me to, once my grandpa died in 2010, and my dad lost faith, I turned my back on Judaism.

His funeral was one of the last times I saw my cousins and their family in person. With the absence of my grandpa, who usually mediated our household

debacles, no one was there to protect my mom and me. My dad grew increasingly irritable and abusive, leading to my mom, and I constantly searching for ways to get out of the house.

So, I began coming with my mom to local church services at a predominantly Filipino church. Up until I was eight, my mom, dad, and I tried regularly attending a predominantly white, affluent megachurch, but the corruption prevalent throughout that system ruined all of our opportunities to invest in a productive Christian faith.

So, reasonably, my mother decided to reach out to our local Filipino community for spiritual and civic support.

Slowly, my mom acquired more friends, and we became regular members between two local Filipino churches. She had found her faith again, and she found her place in this immigrant community. I, however, faced incredible scrutiny because of my heritage. Everyone knew I was half white and half Jewish. They all saw me as an outsider. And it didn’t help that I had behavioral problems due to the abuse I lived with from my father. I was completely misunderstood and alienated from feeling like a deserving member of the church and follower of Christianity. Even one of the pastors couldn’t see me as a legitimate community member. One afternoon after services, I was walking with my Filipino friends.

Our pastor saw us and jokingly pointed to me and said, “Everyone here is Filipino except you!”

Soon I stopped going to all types of religious services altogether.

“ A u t o n o m y comes from having an identity.”

A few weeks after my eighth-grade graduation in 2015, my dad said that he was leaving. He was going to work somewhere in Asia on a “humanitarian project.” He promised he would visit every two weeks. Deep down, however, I knew that

couldn’t possibly be true because we had been impoverished and living off of food stamps and free school lunches until my mom got a job the year before. In fact, my dad sold his car and stole money from my college savings to buy a plane ticket. So, as expected, my dad never actually came back. Instead, as my sister found through her social media sleuthing, he started a new family with another Filipina woman.

Although my father’s departure was a huge relief for my mom and me, I had lost my final tangible connection to the culture and traditions I grew up with. My aunt, uncle, and cousins never reached out to my mom and me to offer help, condolences, etc. They never asked to come to my middle school or high school graduations. They never congratulated me on my academic accomplishments or the fact that I was a finalist and received an internationally prestigious, nearly-full-ride scholarship to attend one of the top liberal arts colleges in the country. Yet, my (white) sisters would receive the occasional FaceBook comment or call from them, congratulating them on their families, accomplishments, etc. It has been incredibly painful to see. Yet, it does reaffirm the fact that they never did truly see my mom and me as family.

As I reflect, ten years from my grandpa’s passing, I realize that the only thing that made me “family” to them was my Jewishness. Despite my not being fully Polish or Jewish or white-passing, my Jewishness and relationship with my grandpa forced them to welcome me into their home, even though my aunt made it clear that it was all an act. The fact that I shared a last name, a heritage, and family members with my aunt and her family, was never enough for them.

Because of the rift between my family and my cousins, I spent the past ten years unsure of where exactly in Chicagoland my grandpa was buried. Since I was nine years old and distraught throughout the whole funeral, my spatial awareness couldn’t retain our whereabouts at the time. But a few months ago, I was able to find the address at which my grandpa rests through Ancestry.com, just in time for the tenth anniversary of his death.

While traveling to the cemetery, my mom gently reminded me that there was a chance we would see my uncle. I immediately froze up and became

irritated. The thought of having to face the immense discomfort of seeing that family for the first time since my grandpa’s death terrified me. I mean, as I said before, they made it perfectly clear that my mom and I were not family as they consistently ignored each of my milestones. What’s worse, my aunt and her family showed little regard for my grandpa’s well-being and his beloved family (i.e., my mom and me) once I began distancing myself from them.

After my grandpa died, my great aunt died soon after, and my mom and I were the only family members to attend her funeral. Her family was always kind and welcoming to my cousins and us, and my grandpa would have wanted us all there to commemorate her life. So, seeing as my mom and I were two of my grandpa’s closest and most loyal companions with whom he shared a home, it would have been incredibly insulting to have to share a space in memorial of my grandfather with my aunt, uncle, or cousins.

But, when we arrived at his tombstone, it seemed untouched and unvisited. I was filled with intense sadness as I realized that I was unable to visit him for ten years as a result of being cut off from my paternal family. My aunt took away my ability to connect with my heritage, identity, and family. She took it without regret, without consideration, and without love for us in her heart. Because of that familial disconnect she facilitated, I was never able to regularly visit my grandpa and receive closure as an adult, until today.

I have tried, in the past, to reckon with myself that “family” just isn’t my “thing.” I’ve reckoned that I have been undeserving of having a healthy family because of how my dad treated us, abandoned us, and the way my aunt and cousins threw us away as soon as the obligation to call us family ended with my grandpa’s death. Even my aunt’s nasty words directed at me for a mistake I made as a small child have stuck with me to this day and have torn down my self-confidence.

Racism and anti-Blackness are real and rampant within European Jewish communities, es-

pecially in America. Writing this in a time where tensions are high regarding Jewish identity, I have worked to understand this conflict in terms of my own personal connection to the Jewish faith, and amidst the tenth anniversary of my grandfather’s death, I have been forced to understand the greater implications of identifying with a heritage and having a sense of belonging.

Identity is incredibly complicated, and as the world globalizes, more communities mix and mingle, and “hybridized” identities are becoming ever so prevalent because of it. Navigating through our nuanced histories is a huge task, and success can only occur with serious self-reflection and a humbled worldview.

Writing this has been very cathartic. As I recognize my privilege as an educated, intelligent, and diverse young adult, I realize that the way my family treats me or the way that other people see me has no impact on the true nature of my identity. I am who I am. I am not who they think I am.

My name is Mikaela Alexander, and I am a Filipina-Polish-American. I take pride in my attachment to my Jewish heritage and my Filipino culture.

I resent the fact that my mom has sacrificed her comfort in order to give me a home-- a place in the Alexander family. But as I have learned, my place in the Alexander family comes with racial turmoil, family struggle, and a lot of overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges.

own by the people we clung to as family. We supported them. We loved them. And as I said, they didn’t even ask to come to my high school graduation. Even my own father left before he could see me accomplish these things. However, these challenges my mom and I have faced have made us stronger. We never needed my aunt’s love or my uncle’s support. We never needed my dad to stop abusing us. We needed to have self-confidence and faith in ourselves. But unfortunately, so much of self-empowered autonomy comes from identifying with a family and heritage-- a support system. Autonomy comes from having an identity. My aunt took that away from both my mom and me, and we are still working to heal ourselves.

But seeing my grandpa’s grave did serve a great purpose today. I was able to reconnect with my grandpa, and I was able to reconnect with myself.

Seeing his name written in Hebrew characters besides the Star of David reminded me that his story is my story too. And my story is my mom’s story. And my mom’s story is my story. No one can take that away from us. Not even my own relatives.

Because I know who I am.

Driving home from the cemetery today, my mom cried to me about the injustices she faced at the hands of my aunt and how my uncle never did anything to stop this outwardly racist and antagonizing behavior. It makes me wonder what on earth is family? I was related to my cousins’ family by blood, yet I was never seen as a blood relative.

Because I know who I am.

My mom and my aunt are both as much a part of the Alexander family as each other, seeing that they both married into it. Yet my aunt made it a point to exclude my mom and sometimes me for the purpose of what? Keeping the family line pure?

Over the course of my childhood, my mom and I have felt pain of all sorts. We have been left on our

Being part of a higher socioeconomic class means you have more access to resources. This is a well-known fact that we may have become desensitized to.

When considering this notion, there’s a divide between Asian as the upper-class are afforded more privileges and independence than lower-class Asians.

There is the misconception that Asians are a model minority. In other words, many assume that Asians are well off. This is not always the case.

Countless new Asian immigrants in Western countries are living in unpredictable financial circumstances.

Lower-class Asian immigrants in these countries may be unable to afford an education in which they can develop their abilities to speak English fluently.

This leaves many immigrant families with children that speak on behalf of their parents, curtailing the independence of both the parent and the child.

I grew up in an interdependent household. In the Philippines, it’s quite common for families to financially support one another. My parents look after my grandparents and a few cousins, and I know I’ll be doing the same. Everyone inherits a list of people that they will be taking care of.

The definition of “independence” is the state of “freedom from outside control.”

For me, attaining this freedom comes as nearly unattainable. How does a child of an immigrant earn enough money to meet both their own needs and their family’s needs? Western ideals tell me

that I want the freedom to make my own decisions, but it has not unshackled me from the duties I have inherited.

If I prioritize meeting my own desires first, I feel selfish.

Numerous Filipino immigrants around me are stuck in a vicious cycle of poverty. The Filipino diaspora itself was born out of the need to be freed from the shackles of financial needs.

Many Filipino parents work abroad in developed countries to earn money to ensure their children can afford an education, food, and a roof over their heads. Then, the children of those immigrants do the same for their cousins.

In fact, some Asian children are hesitant to move out because they fear that their immigrant parents will no longer let them help with the household’s bills. If you live with your parents, you can use the excuse that you’re just “paying them rent.” Many Asian parents seek to save face, but as their child, you want to help save them from bills.

en leaving to work abroad as Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) and registered emigrants. According to statistics, the gender ratio of Filipino emigrants in 2010 was 73 males for every 100 females.

I find myself growing up to be like my mother; we have many similar traits.

We smile the same, we love to dress in the same clothes, and we’re both affectionate. Additionally, I know that I’ll be financially supporting my parents and my cousins in the future. Although this is a privilege, being privy to this reality is a place of anxiety for me. It leaves me with less room for error in my career.

I will not withdraw from living life as fully as I can, but my parameters limit me to a smaller budget.

My freedom as a Filipina can’t come without knowing that my family members are financially taken care of.

Women from developing countries often leave their children to take care of the Global North’s children. The outsourcing of mothers entails that a large number of children are left behind motherless. My mother left me when I was five years old to work abroad in Canada. She definitely did her best to raise us with phone calls and emails, but it was not the same as having my mother there. Her sacrifice is not unique to our family, as over 8 million Filipinos live outside of the Philippines, with more Filipino wom-

Written By Riana Torrejon

The Filipino Transactions

“If I prioritize meeting my own desires first, I feel selfish.”

“Eyes that Kiss in Plain Sight”

by Aria Mallare Eyes that kiss in plain sight Meeting in the corners Eyes teeming with the kind of love the sun and moon crave Eyes like half-moons, sparkling as if she had Captured the night sky behind her irises A kind of magic that not even the stars can comprehend Like the rising sun over the horizon Casting an elegant glow over all who are blessed to meet her gaze Her eyes so stunning she could blind someone with a simple, warm glance Eyes like flower petals Pupils rich with a sweetness finer than honey It’s no surprise that the bees and butterflies mistake her for the elegant blossoms Born of the nurturing soil The earth’s laughter is reflected in her eyes Eyes like butterfly wings Only growing more beautiful with time They seem to transform under the sunlight If you stare too long they might just whisk you away Eyes like cathedrals Windows to the soul more beautiful than stained glass Like God Himself came down from heaven to form them Eyes like some otherworldly vision Too exquisite for your worldly mind to appreciate Bewitching in a way you can’t comprehend Eyes too enchanting for this world Her eyes, such a beautiful sight

“thoughtlessness - a girl & drapery� by Melissa Lin Social Media (on Twitter and Instagram): @gaydepresso Medium: Oil Pastels

Interview Interview

w w with with Lara Lara Eurdolian Eurdolian Written by Lauren Turner

Firstly, introduce yourself!

Hi, I’m Lara Eurdolian, aka @prettyconnected.

I’m a beauty expert, on-air-talent, entrepreneur, and founder of Pretty Connected, (prettyconnected.com), the award winning, beauty, fashion, and lifestyle blog. My background is in marketing having worked the past 15 years in the beauty industry building top brands as NARS Cosmetics, Jurlique, Avon and Kiehl’s and hosting influencer and media events for countless more. I’ve been in several campaigns and appeared in publications including Vanity Fair, The New York Times, Marie Claire, Glamour, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Allure, New Beauty, and Health. In 2018 I started a Pretty Connected accessories line, which specializes in multi-use straps. Currently our mask chains are blowing up the internet.

I live in NYC with my fiance and senior pomeranian rescue, Charlie (@pompomcharlie).

Could you outline your journey into the health and beauty industry?

In 2005 I started in International Marketing at NARS Cosmetics, I then went to Julrique as their US Marketing Manager during their major relaunch and rebrand. From there I stared my blog, launched Kiehl’s social media, and began consulting at Avon and other various beauty brands. I then started to dabble in onair work, and was asked to be in major campaigns/ads for brands like Aveeno, Olay, Crest and Covergirl, which also gave me the opportunity to collaborate with more magazines and judge the beauty awards for Glamour and ICMAD. I’ve now landed at NewBeauty where I’m currently a guest editor and on their Brain Trust.

What led you to create Pretty Connected, and what does your everyday work for your blog entail?

I started over a decade ago before blogs, blogger or influencer were coined terms. At that point I had done so many amazing beauty trainings through NARS, Jurlique, Avon, Kiehl’s… and used to joke there wasn’t enough good beauty information on the internet. Now it’s completely saturated but back then I was trying everything and getting constant beauty questions so I decided to start a blog. I never thought I would turn it into a brand or work for myself. It was a casual hobby really meant to help my friends and family take better care of their skin and learn about the latest beauty products. I used to blog 3x’s a day and was very committed. I still blog but with Instagram, DMs, my ever exploding inbox and constant beauty projects make it tough to commit to my blog the way I used to. Which is why I started a column for NewBeauty, it’s a place I can put the best of the best I try every month. I’m also very active in Instagram Stories where we do daily beauty chats and try products together. I do have plans to expand and do more content with founders of brands but with all the new legs of the business, it’s a juggle as to what gets my attention. Although now that blogs and beauty is so saturated I needed to evolve in a bigger way.

We understand you’re involved with many different groups and projects! What are some of your favourites that you’ve been involved with?

I really enjoy helping to curate NewBeauty’s subscription beauty service, TestTube. It’s bi-monthly and $30/box and includes 8 full size, editor approved products that retails for over $180. It’s really fun sharing products the NewBeauty team loves and making them affordable. Our may box was over $230 value and so good!

I’m also very proud of the non-profit work I do. I co-founded Share Your Beauty, an initiative that collects unused, unopened hygiene and beauty products and delivers them to shelters in NYC and the tri-state area. Since launching in 2014, Share Your Beauty has collected and distributed over 150,000 products to those in need.

What are a couple of makeup and beauty products you can’t live without?

Black eyeliner (I usually get the Kohl liners from the Indian markets, or I’ll pick up Sephora’s name brand or Marc Jacobs), but I’m always trying new ones. My NARS Laguna bronzer and their Kabuki Brush. Laniege Glowy Makeup Serum, NARS foundation/concealer or It Cosmetics CC+ Cream Illumination SPF 50, Dr. Dennis Gross peel pads, Isle of Paradise spray tan, Isdin or EltaMD SPF, I could go on all day!

that!

What inspired you to create your own line, pretty connected shop? What makes your range of accessories unique?

It was very organic. I used to go to events and have a camera and hated being all dressed up and carrying around my mirrorless camera with it’s big Sony logo strap attached. I wanted something simple and chic but nothing existed so I started making my own. It was always a thin chain and I’d add charms to them. I was getting requests for it all the time so after years of people asking I put them into production.

The chain then became a true multi-purpose chain when I started using it as the first water bottle strap last year and my readers started to explode with creativity. I was getting posts of them wearing it as a necklace, bag strap, for flip flops, strapped to their belts, on their strollers… and beyond.

One of my friends then started using it as a mask chain and as soon as I put that on my instagram it began to blow up. So we’re also the first mask chain holder on the market.

We also have BOSS rings that have Pretty Connected inscribed on the inside. We made them for our launch party (they weren’t supposed to be sold) but we had such an overwhelming response to them we put them into production.

For those of us in self-isolation, do you have any health tips you could share with us?

Take care of yourself. Right now there are few luxuries that are accessible but candles, taking a bath, putting on a mask... Add some music and the beverage of your choice and use it as an escape. Also keep your immune system up, wear SPF and make sure you’re getting enough vitamin D (or take a supplement).

In your opinion, what is the link between beauty and women’s empowerment?

I think anything that makes you feel, strong powerful and beautiful is linked with women’s empowerment. So much of it is self confidence and taking care of your skin, putting on a lipstick that makes you feel like you can conquer the world can aid in

Do you think the beauty and health industry is an enabling place for Asian Women?

I’d like it to be! I think we’re all looking for more diversity but I personally am obsessed with Japan/KBeauty and admire women like Charlotte Cho and Alicia Yoon and what they have done for this industry and the brands they have launched. I was supposed to be in Asia for 3 months visiting with beauty brands before COVID hit.

Thank you for having me!

You can find me at prettyconnected.com and @prettyconnected

Photo from:

: prettyconnected.com

“I think anything that makesyou feel, strong powerful and beautiful is linked with women’s empowerment.”

Artist: Jamilla Dartley

Pieces (L to R): “Summer wild flowers”, “Lone barn”, “Backyard nature” Medium: Gouache on paper

Independence through a Virtual Lens Written by Xiaopan Xue

Xiaopan is a full-time higher education administrator and wedding, engagement, branding, and family photographer. She identities as a queer, Chinese American womxn and holds a Master in Education. Her passions for social justice include serving undocumented students, first gen college students, and BIPOC. Xiaopan is happily married to her wife of almost 4 years and in their spare time they love escape rooms, board games, and spending time with friends and family. In her free time, Xiaopan is an avid tattoo enthusiast and baker.

Instagram: @xxuephoto https://www.instagram.com/xxuephoto Website: https://www.xiaopanxuephoto.com Photography is intimate and profound. It captures subjects in a way that they cannot truly control. As a photographer who relies on in-person interaction with my clients and high-end equipment to create my final product, I felt COVID-19 had put a huge damper on a source of my happiness. My specialties are wedding, engagement, branding, and family photography.

I started doing virtual photoshoots with clients to make some more income, and to be honest, I craved human connection. The virus has completely changed the way we connect with folks, and in my opinion, it’s also changed what independence means. Seeing folks stockpile toilet paper, lose their jobs, and ultimately severing in-person connection are all examples I see as altering independence.

This project is a combination of my two passions: social justice and photography. All of these photoshoots were done during the quarantine stay at home order virtually through FaceTime, taken with iPhones - no in-person interaction or contact was made. I simply asked my subjects to chat with me while doing something they usually do in their everyday lives.

I asked folks these three questions: How has your views and definitions of independence shaped and shifted due to COVID (if it hasn’t what is your definition of independence? What does it mean to you?).

How has the activity you’re doing in the photos that I took become a part of your definition of independence?

If you’d be willing to share: your salient identities and pronouns.

My goal is to amplify APIDA voices and experiences. The perspective that you take is, as art tends to be, up to you.

Kayla

1. I’d say that pre-quarantine I viewed independence as not needing to be around or rely on other people to be happy and thrive. Dependence is often seen as unhealthy, but COVID taught me that we literally do need one another to survive. With my partner, friends, and family getting laid off, furloughed, sick, or just having a hard time mentally, we’ve all relied on each other to support our well being. Independence, to me, has become more complex; it’s acknowledging that it does not mean making it alone, rather empowering and providing resources to one another to be happy and safe when we’re not physically there 2. This photo to me represents the way we navigate independence in our relationship. While Chris and I have different schedules and obligations, we step in to communally care for Kina so that we grow as a family. Sometimes they look like taking turns training and feeding her because of our work schedules, and sometimes that means enjoying the moment and process together.

In either case, our moments with Kina give us purpose, energy, and motivation to keep going when either of us isn’t around.

3. 4th-gen queer Japanese Okinawan womxn, educator, artist, activist.

Kayla, Chris, and their dog Kina (pictured from left to right)

Chris

1. Prior to COVID, I was already pretty independent.

However, due to working from home and being in the same space as my partner basically all day, I’ve learned that it’s important to develop opportunities, space, and time for each of us to focus on our own individual tasks, whether that is private workspace, time for individual workouts, or time for individual phone conversations with our own friends and colleagues. This has shown up in determining individual workspaces as well as stepping outside the apartment to go on walks and have individual phone conversations. However, this has come with the balance of partaking in activities together that focus on our relationship, whether that be walks outside with each other or specific time to be spent with each other indoors.

2. The photo taken of us captures the balance between independence and shared experiences that we experience in our relationship during COVID. The photo captures us with our puppy, Kina, who joined our family during the pandemic and has been a source of joy for both myself and my partner. This has been the case both in our individual interactions with Kina as well as the shared experiences that we’ve had together with her.

3. Cis, straight, man, mixed-race (Chinese & White).

Katelyn on her front porch with her cat Vinny

Katelyn

1. My views and definitions of independence have definitely shifted since the pandemic. Independence, for me, has always been a word of positive connotation, and it’s always been a word that I’ve had pride in when someone refers to me as “being independent.” I always interpreted “independence” and “self-sufficient.” To “not depend” on anyone or anything. However, during this global crisis, I’m surprised to see the level of obstinate independence within American culture. In regards to wearing masks and social distancing, I’ve observed many American people putting their independent interests first rather than coming together as a whole for the greater health of our nation.

2. Going back to what I previously said, independence has always been a strong part of my identity. I’m able to be self-sufficient in my own isolation.

The past few months have been extremely difficult with being an ICU nurse of a COVID unit, current family members passing away, and a recent breakup of a long term relationship. The photo of me taking the time to sit and stop allows me to reflect interpersonally, tying into my strong independence of being self-sufficient. The biggest thing I’ve learned during this process is not to confuse independence with loneliness but that with independence, loneliness can accompany it.

3. Asian-Hispanic American, gay identifying woman

Toubee doing an at-home workout with resistance bands

Toubee

1. I don’t think my views and definition of independence have changed due to COVID. I think how and what it looks like is different than what I imagined it to be under normal circumstances. I had just moved into an apartment of my own a mere two weeks prior to the start of my state’s stay-at-home order. So I was going to be living on my own already anyway and had to be self-sufficient in many ways. I wasn’t prepared for the additional things I was going to have to do without now or do on my own, such as working out, virtual social activities, and remote work.

2. I’m so used to going to a group fitness class and being coached through a workout with others. It’s sometimes competitive but mostly motivating to be around that energy. So it was hard to adjust to having to do that alone in my living room without someone telling me what to do. I had to hold myself accountable for maintaining my fitness during the pandemic, and it wasn’t an excuse to completely stop doing something I love to do and need for my well-being. Therefore, my independence came in by establishing a new routine and setting realistic goals that would best support my needs and the limitations I faced.

3. Queer, Hmong, Educator, He/Him/His

Bryce cooking homemade salsa and steak

Bryce

1. I think my idea of independence changed dramatically because I thought of independence as doing what I wanted to do when I wanted, but I am realizing independence is doing what’s best for your community and society in general. I also had the ability to work from home when COVID hit, and when this photoshoot happened, I had two roommates living with me, but because they lost their jobs, they both chose to move out. I am a lot more cautious when visiting my family and it comes much more rare because they are older, but the moments we share are much more meaningful, even my dad and I have had some conversations which did not really happen pre-COVID. I feel like this virus has affected my ability to go out, but it has helped with my friendships via zoom and text messages. I have been talking to more people consistently now then I was pre-COVID, and that says a lot. I think I value time with all people a lot more now, and I am more aware of how my actions affect others, like wearing my mask in public and just being mindful of my space.

2. I think COVID has helped a lot of people with their at-home activities, including trying to cook different things. In the beginning, I was cooking some crazy things cause I was just trying to survive, and it was a crazy time. Things are still crazy, but now I am trying to find more health-conscious recipes to try since I do have that ability being at home all the time. It’s all about balance, and that’s what cooking has really taught me.

Learning how to use my voice to address social justice issues. I realize I may not always be the loudest, but I have made more of an effort to have these conversations with friends and family.

3. Japanese American, Cisgender Male (he/him/his), Enneagram 2, ENFJ.

Beverly 1. My parents immigrated alone to America, so as a unit, we’ve always been independent from the rest of our familial network. The only people I’ve ever depended on are my parents, and I think since COVID hit, the interdependence between us shifted - I became the main person to go out and get food and other things to keep them as safe as possible. So having the dynamic of aging up and becoming the one that they can depend on instead is one way I’ve felt my independence change .

2. Again, with immigrant parents, the idea of being an artist is never something they like to support.

However, over the past couple of years, I’ve been diving into digital illustration, which led to my first paid commission. My parents were pleasantly surprised! They had been delighted by a few drawings of our cultural food I’d done for fun but to have tangible proof that my illustrations could actually make money hopefully helped change their view on what kind of work can lead to independence (at least a little bit).

3. Chinese/Malaysian/American womxn, multimedia artist, she/her.

Beverly creating illustrations in her bedroom

Jonathan break dancing in his favorite practice spot, his garage.

Jonathan 1. I think it’s common amongst Americans to feel like the utmost good is what one does, in their best conscience, for the individual. However, in this time where COVID-19 has made it apparent that we need to depend on the actions of one another to be well and thrive, there is this balancing act of understanding how do we grow collectivism and still protect our individualism in doing so. That’s very hard when it comes to the life of artists that seek inspiration and motivation to create. And yet there is some comfort that in a time where we question what is possible in our scope of independence, we also should ask how much more can we do when knowing interdependence is an asset to be grown as well. This goes for all of us pursuing goals and passions. The front line medical professionals, essential workers, grassroots organizers, supporters of all of those aforementioned, they have not only made the world run in this pandemic but every single day, 24/7. The opportunity to chase our dreams and passions is only possible by helping one another. Blessed to recognize that more than ever humbled to know that we all need to do our part.

2. Breaking has been a big part of my life for the past 14 years, although it’s been a long time since I have felt the innocence and wide-eyed awe I once had for the dance. During the three months of quarantine, I was able to break almost every day, on the days I didn’t want to, and the days I desperately needed it. It was really vital to processing this time of uncertainty and confusion—a sort of meditation in motion. I felt like a kid again in many ways finding memories in movement and maneuvers. This nostalgia gave way to me, recognizing the pathway to independence that was given through Breaking. It takes a lot to dance in front of peers and strangers, being unabashedly you. To have your own style, character, and mind for the art form. I carry that with me everywhere I go.

3. First-generation Singaporean-Chinese American Educator and Artist.

My family - Mom giving Dad a haircut while William plays with Freddie

I wanted to end with a photo of my family. I don’t live at home anymore, but my family is my whole world. Growing up in an immigrant household certainly changed my definition of independence. I felt very independent, helping my parents translate documents, navigate various in-person things like ordering food at restaurants, and essentially being the head of household from a very young age. However, my independence ended there. I was expected to be home early, couldn’t go to sleepovers, and my dad called what seemed like every few hours even when I was in college. Independence certainly has taken on a new flavor for us. After marriage, my parents struggled to let me go. Therapy has changed our relationship a lot, but I think it is for the better.

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A 21st Century Colony Written by Dechanel Santos

Dechanel Santos is an aspiring screenwriter who studies film at the University of Texas at Austin.

She is CHamoru and is interested in writing stories about diverse, underrepresented people.

Instagram: @callmedechanel A group of protestors hold a “Fanoghe” banner and yell, “Biba Guahan! Biba CHamorus.”

The message is clear. Stand up. Long live Guam. Long live the indigenous people of Guam. The indigenous people of Guam are still here and demanding to be heard.

Guam has been a part of the United States in some capacity since 1898 when it was annexed after the Spanish American War. Its people were then subjected to half a century of Naval military rule. This meant that the Naval Governor was appointed rather than elected, and they exercised complete legislative, judicial, and executive power over the indigenous population. This put people like William Wirt Gilmore in charge, who banned whistling, smoking, and interracial marriages. Or Roy Cambell Smith who banned CHamorus from speaking their native language on their native land.

It wasn’t until 1950, after a long fight for civil rights from indigenous people, that America would grant CHamorus citizenship and a civil government. It wouldn’t be until another eighteen years when they would get the right to vote for their governor. Even still, the citizens of Guam, largely Asian Pacific Islander, cannot vote in federal elections despite being American citizens - a scary thought considering our current political climate.

Why is that?

Simply because of Guam’s status as an unincorporated territory and not a state. This means Guam is not a sovereign entity. In Attorney General of Guam v. United States, the court ruled that the Constitution does not give American citizens the right to vote for the President directly, but the right to vote for a state elector who then elects the President (1984). Hence, because Guam, and America’s other territories, are not states, their people cannot vote in federal elections.

The thing is, the indigenous people of Guam have never had a say in their relationship with or status within the United States. Guam was simply passed over from one colonial power to another. In fact, when the US first acquired Guam and other territories, they decided that because these possessions “are inhabited by alien races, differing from us in religion, customs, laws, methods of taxation and modes of thought, the administration of government and justice according to Anglo-Saxon principles may for a time be impossible (Downes v. Bidwell, 1901).” This has been the government’s justification for 122 years of American colonialism But the Chamorro people, as well as other citizens of Guam, have clearly had enough, and the community organized the Fanohge March for Chamoru Self-Determination back in September. “Fanohge” in the Chamoru language means to stand up. CHamorus and other allies marched to demand a change in their political status and to fully exercise their right to self-determination. Self-determination is a very meaningful term for many indigenous peoples around the world. For CHamorus, it would mean finally being able to fully participate in the democratic process and influence their future politically, socially, culturally, and economically.

There are three options: statehood, independence, and free association. The march endorsed none of them. Instead, it demanded a voice and focused on the right to influence the island’s relationship with the United States. It cemented the idea that the citizens of Guam will not accept the status quo.

But self-determination would mean more beyond the right to vote and deciding their political status. It would also mean having a say in the military presence on Guam. The military occupies more than a quarter of indigenous land. It threatens to encroach further, even wanting to build a gun range on sacred, ancestral lands despite appeals from indigenous citizens. Self-determination would mean protecting land and preserving the environment in the face of American pollution and development. Unfortunately, this story is all too familiar for indigenous peoples across the globe.

The United States needs to stop pretending that this problem does not exist. A threat to freedom on Guam is a threat to freedom across the country. And in a time when we are trying to dismantle systems of inequality, we must stand with the CHamoru people and other indigenous populations as they continue to decolonize and fight for self-determination. Fanohge CHamoru. Biba CHamoru.

Sources: Attorney General of Guam v. United States, 738 F.2nd 1017 (9th Cir. 1984) Downes v. Bidwell, 182 US 244 (1901) Coogan, D. (2008, Mar 25) We fought the Navy and won: Guam’s quest for democracy. Latitude 20.

Kaur, A. (2019, Aug. 15). ‘The largest political demonstration’: Plans for a march for self-deThe CHamoru fight for self-determination has termination. Pacific Daily News. been a long one. In 1901, CHamorus signed a petition protesting the institution of military https://www.guampdn.com/story/news/ rule, citing the inequality of power between local/2019/08/15/the-largest-politiAmericans and CHamorus. Similar petitions cal-demonstration-march-self-determinawere sent to the American government in 1917, tion/2016366001/ 1925, 1929, 1933, 1947, 1949, and 1950. Unsurprisingly, these pleas were largely ignored Rogers, R. Destiny’s landfall: A history of

by Congress, and the issue went unsolved Guam. University of Hawai’i Press. until 1950. CHamorus even caught national attention as they protested the naval govern- Sablan, J. (2019, Sep. 2) Hundreds march for ment through a walkout, which eventually CHamoru self-determination. Pacific Dailed to Truman signing the Organic Act. And ly News. https://www.guampdn.com/story/ the movement continues today. Hundreds of news/2019/09/02/hundreds-march-chamocitizens showed up last September, marching ru-self-determination/2189704001/ from Adelup Point to the US District Courts.

The same spirit that pushed CHamorus to Tolentina, D. CHamoru quest for self-design those petitions over and over again burns termination. https://www.guampedia. brightly within the citizens that showed up to com/politics_and_government/chamorthe Fanohge March. Guam’s fight for self-de- ro-quest-for-self-determination/#Guampetermination has been long and is not yet dia8217s_CHamoru_Quest_for_Self-Determiover,but her people are ready to fight for what nation_entries is right.

Evelyn Wong

“My Uncle Is Dead” by Evelyn Wong Size: Original: 12” x 18” x 1” closed, 12” x 36” x 1” open Published Version: 8” x 10” x 1” closed, 8” x 20” x 2” open Medium: Post-screw book with pen, pencil, marker, digital print, and cut paper collage

“The Immigration of Kudzu” by Evelyn Wong Size: 3” x 3” closed, 3” x 31” open Medium: Accordion book with pen, pencil, and cut-paper collage

“Feeding Our Daughters” by Evelyn Wong evelynwongartist.com Medium: Rice bowls and utensils, 33 scrolls made with traditional Chinese calligraphy ink on rice paper

Evelyn Wong

Interview with Emily Ryu

By Elle Hong

Introduce yourself!

My name is Emily and I currently live in Los Angeles with my husband and two cats. I run a creative marketing agency (@ryucreative) in the most practical sense and am also a certified holistic health coach which I document through @ryupure.

Go-to Boba order?

I’m not really a boba person (don’t @ me) but if I had to order - almond milk black tea sweetened with honey light boba.

What were some personal experiences and anecdotes relating to culture, social impact and community as a Korean American living in the U.S.?

I was a bi-coastal baby. I was born in Los Angeles but raised in Korea by my grandmother as my mom was navigating some difficult time being a single mother in a foreign country.

Looking back, I realize that my upbringing in both America and in Korea have shaped me in more ways than one. Even though I used to feel out of my element in both environments, I ultimately adapted to both cultures, and did so with the help of my family and the friends I’ve made in Korea. I’m very proud to be Korean-American, and my heritage influences me in everything I do — from the endless list of old American sayings that I have never heard of, down to the food I eat. Now, I feel blessed to be both a Korean-American and an American in Korea, because I’ve gained the confidence in myself to stand out in either place — and anywhere else I will go.

What inspired you to create @ryupure and @ryucreative?

I hit rock bottom with my personal health and was battling with a lifetime of yo-yo dieting. I enrolled in an

online nutrition school and started to learn how to eat food as medicine. I started to eat in the healthiest way possible; no extremes but it had to taste good. I spent a lot of time in my kitchen, researching and experimenting with different recipes that were my favorites prior to developing a healthier lifestyle. After a few weeks of eating this way, my life was changed. It sounds dramatic but it’s true. I felt incredible physically, but with that came an emotional and mental shift that I don’t think I could have anticipated.

I knew this transformation couldn’t just be kept to myself and so I decided to start cooking these meals and sharing what I know about living a holistic lifestyle on my ryupure platform.

Describe your journey founding your company and social media platform. You’ve created a personal brand with thousands of followers and fans.

In this day and age, being an entrepreneur is truly glamorized. Don’t get me wrong, I love the positivity in the coverage of building awesome products and services, but there’s not many conversations around the negative aspects of what it truly means to start a business. In most cases, you work more hours than anyone you know, you often work for free (until you make a profit or raise money), and the ups and downs are like the world’s most intense roller coaster.

Any advice you would like to share to young girls?

My advice would be to consider being an intrapreneur. In essence, this means acting like an innovative entrepreneur, but within the ecosystem of a company that you truly believe in. I’ve heard stories of people wanting to start their own business because they can’t stand a co-worker or a boss. The reality is, being a CEO means that you will deal with even more personalities in the form of a client, vendor, or an employee. Being an entrepreneur won’t make all of your current problems at work magically disappear.

Future plans?

Continue to grow and adapt. Perhaps live in a different country and continue to expand my knowledge and curiosity.

Artist // Xiaoli O. Chang

Instagra

am: @milkchaos

Artist // Xiaoli O. Chang

Instagram: @milkchaos

“The above [left] was a real conversation I had with a 2nd grader, a child of color who I was working with after school at the time. This child was taking part in an after school program that encouraged lots of outdoor group games for the large population of diverse students we had. As a group game was being led by another staff member, I noticed this child waiting behind.

When I approached him he told me what his parents had said. As part of my job I had to respect their family’s rule by not undermining his parents’ authority. However, it felt wrong to me. We walked out together to watch the group game in the shade. Sitting criss-cross, this little boy had to explain and re-explain his situation to his friends passing by wondering why he wasn’t participating in one of his favorite group games. Once the game had finally started he leaned his chin on his hand and gave a soft sigh.

I wanted to tell him he wasn’t the only one- that oceans away there were kids coming in early to get out of the sun, children a few blocks away probably being smothered in sunblock (not to avoid UV rays, but to avoid the harmful tan), parents buying whitening products, relatives warning little ones of the dangers of darker skin tones.

I wanted to reach them all, hold each of their hands and say, “Your skin is just right. It is beautiful and it is all yours. You don’t need to make it any different.”

You don’t need to erase yourself in order to make room for you to be seen and respected. You don’t need to modify your body so that other people give you the time of day. You don’t have to keep to the shadows and carry an umbrella everywhere to avoid being the butt of jokes. Dark skin is beautiful.

But I know they’d have a hard time believing me. Those words would go against everything they’ve learned, all the messages they’ve taken in. So I had to keep reminding them- children of so many beautiful colors, colored perfectly as they are, worthy as they are, enough as they are- wherever I went and worked. At the restaurant where a beautiful toddler of color dropped a toy next to me, and I moved aside and encouraged her to go ahead and pick it up. To the mother and father, who I offered warm smiles to and asked how old their bright little one was. Cradling my nephews, sharing stories and words from a language they can proudly call their own. Displaying my skin, my hands in front of young students, allowing them to explore and examine my own compared to theirs- discovering the beauty in every shade, the importance in respecting the differences, the courage and trust to ask each other questions, the humility to listen.”

-L.R. @lrd.ofthefiles

“Femme Fatale�

by Anupama Bahadur Feminism in full pursuit, Seeking gender equality, Within the dominion of the patriarchal society, Defining her sexuality...

Confronting innumerable issues of discrimination, Being criticized for gender bias, Challenging the injustices done, Standing abreast is the woman of today...

Ignoring and marginalizing the weaker sex and the oppression, Hands held fast against violence and suppression, An identity defining the matriarchal world, She is the synergy of Shakti regeneration..

Advocating her rights she holds steadfast, Seeking economic and legal domain, Redressal of her virtuosity claiming, The freedom of her benign presence..

“Makibaka” by Hannah Chua Medium: Procreate.

“The earring was inspired by those sold by BRWNGRLZ on instagram.”

@flourescendence

“choesion” oil on canvas 22”x22”

Wan Wan Goldfish gouache on paper 11”x15”

Take and Take and Take Out oil, acrylic, and spray paint on MDF 3’x4’ approx

Artist // Rebecca Entrican

cultural abstraction oil on canvas 4’x4’

”The

world

is

as

I

am.”

Devika is from India, she is 24, for her ”independence” is a simple concept- having full autonomy over one’s life. She believes independence is about choice and control. It is about being strong and having the power to make her own decisions in life.

My name is Vicky Zhou. A proud alumna from University of Toronto. I am aspired to commit to the work of social justice, community and cultural empowerment. I love to write about, talk about and speak up about issues concerning the Asian community and other minority communities.

I believe that a society that is inclusive, diverse and supportive is the most prosperous.

You can check out my photography work @vic_shot_the_pic and my tiktok content @vicky_zzzzzzz

Kiernan M. Steiner is a 3rd year doctoral student in Choral Conducting at Arizona State University, located in Tempe, Arizona. Her research interests are in curriculum inquiry and liberatory education, and her dissertation is going to examine collegiate choral programs at public colleges/ universities for power structures that limit student participation and engagement. Kiernan is half-Filipina and a transracial adoptee, and she has recently connected with her birth family. Kiernan has been learning about Filipino culture through cooking lessons with her dad over video chat and listening to podcasts, such as “Filipina on the Rise” and “The Filipino American Woman.” Follow her on Instagram at @decolonizing_kiki!

“I’m Mindy and I’m the founder and Clinical Director of Sunrise Nutrition, a boutique group practice in Seattle that provides nutrition counseling and mental health therapy for folx struggling with eating disorders, body image and chronic dieting. I am a dual-credentialed therapist and nutritionist whose social justice values guide my clinical work. I have a special interest in empowering people of color and other marginalized communities to reclaim their relationship with food by challenging systems of oppression. As Clinical Director, my passion is that we, as a group of clinicians, provide a safe and compassionate space for humans from all walks of life to heal their relationship with food and their bodies. As the daughter of Taiwanse immigrants, I love staying connected to my heritage through food by getting in the kitchen and trying new and old recipes. I am also a huge fan of traditional Chinese watercolor and music. When not trying to smash the white supremacist heteropatriarchy, my other interests include hanging out with my dog, gardening, watching lots of television and seeing the world.”

“Mother Earth� by Amirah Sheikh Medium: digital Instagram: @axshei

Interview with Jenay Ross Written by Charlotte Drummond

Jenay Ross is a poet, content creator, and influencer campaign manager residing in Los Angeles whose main agenda is to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life by living each day mindfully and with intention. Originally from a tiny town in the San Francisco Bay Area, she’s been a work in progress since 1992 with a passion for consistent personal development and writing relatable pieces of work to inspire healing, change, and growth.

Jenay has authored and designed four self-published issues of the poetry zine Thank You For Being Here and is currently writing her first book. Through her words, she aims to inspire others to live each day with intention, tackle traumas and hardship with a positive outlook, and be vulnerable and resilient.

IG + Twitter:: @jenayross, www.jenayross.com Charlotte Drummond is a part of Overachiever Magazine’s Editorial and Outreach teams. She is an Indian-American student and writer from Los Angeles, California. She is currently attending Emerson College, and studying Writing, Literature and Publishing. At the moment, she is working for multiple on-campus publications as a part of their writing and copyediting teams. In her free time, she loves reading, taking pictures of plants, getting emo over female singer-songwriters, and hanging out with her dog.

INSTAGRAM: @charlotte.drummond

Introduce yourself!

Hi! My name is Jenay Ross, and I am a poet and content creator living in Los Angeles with my fiancé. I love to create thoughtful and impactful content that inspires people to heal, change, and grow. For my 9-to-5, I work on the influencer marketing team for a well-known subscription box service, so you could say I have a love for both storytelling and marketing. I also graduated from the University of Southern California in 2014 with a degree in Print & Digital Journalism and Music Industry and have a professional background in artist management, event production, and brand partnerships.

Your poetry is incredibly honest, and your authentic storytelling voice shines through beautifully. When did you first fall in love with writing as an art form, and how has your writing style evolved over the years?

I loved writing as a kid, but my relationship with it became more serious in high school when I discovered the school newspaper and blogging. Being the editor of my high school newspaper developed my love for storytelling and designing layouts and led me to earn a degree in journalism. Blogging became a way for me, an introvert, to better express myself and share my own stories, introspection, and creativity.

I’ve always had a love for poetry, and it became a bigger part of my life as an artistic expression in 2016. I had a lot of dark moments and anxiety in my early and mid-twenties, and writing poetry helped me process my feelings. Compared to my past journalistic writing or long diary-like Tumblr entries, poetry has helped me hone my writing skills to be impactful, purposeful, and precise within a shorter form. My poetry also tends to pull inspiration from nature a lot. Metaphors involving plants, flowers, and their growth are so relatable to me.

You are the creator, writer, and designer of your own digital zine called Thank You For Being Here. How did the zine come to be, and what urged you to display your poetry in that particular format?

“Instagram poetry” has become an increasingly popular way to publish work, and I love that it has contributed to the rise of modern poetry. But the community feels extremely saturated, and it can be difficult to stand out, so I wanted to find another way to package and share my work. As someone who loves magazines and designing layouts, creating a zine felt like the right move for me. Self-publishing each issue of TYFBH digitally instead of as paper issues allows me to make it super accessible and easy to distribute.

What do you find the most fulfilling about writing? The most challenging?

The most fulfilling part of writing is the exploration and self-reflection that is involved. I learn so much about myself when I write, and it’s very healing. Writing also allows me to tell my story in my own words instead of leaving my life open to other people’s assumptions. The most challenging aspect of writing is being my own worst critic because it creates a lot of self-doubt which gets in the way of progress. Negative self-talk is never pleasant and often not helpful. I constantly have to remind myself to give myself more grace and kindness. Another challenging part is to develop the discipline to stick to a writing schedule. Life is so distracting, sometimes, haha.

As a Black and Chinese woman, has your mixed identity ever been difficult or frustrating for you, and if so, how have you reconciled those feelings?

Oh yes. Definitely. Long story short, my parents divorced before I was born, and I only grew up with the Chinese side of my family, so sometimes, especially as a child, I didn’t feel “Black enough” or “Chinese enough.” I was pretty self-loathing when it came to my naturally curly, coily hair, and often felt like I didn’t fit into either one of my cultures. It took a lot of unlearning and learning to get past this. When I stopped caring so much about what others thought of me, I learned to accept and love myself for who I am and all the amazing qualities I gained from both of my races.

How has your identity influenced your writing?

I used to write a lot about guys I dated that hurt my heart. And while I still do that, I now focus more on writing about navigating my experiences with my identity, anxiety, relationships, and personal growth. This is reflective of what impacts me the most as I approach turning thirty and become much more intentional with how I live my life.

Do you have any advice for fellow mixed Asian/Black Asian womxn writers?

Don’t water down your story or voice. Don’t be afraid of people not understanding you, they’ll learn from your words. Write what feels authentic, cathartic, and/or fun for you. Never be afraid to speak up. Remember, everyone’s story is different, and yours matters.

Along with poetry, you also have a blog where you write about everything from travel diaries to book recommendations. How do blog/social media type posts and poetry compare and contrast in terms of writing? Do you find that you are in different moods when you’re writing in different styles?

While my poetry is a little more cryptic and “poetic” (for lack of a better term, haha), my blog and social media posts are written in the same way as how I speak. The language is more direct so that you know exactly what I’m talking about and what I mean. There’s definitely some crossover in themes and styles, but the writing for my blog and Instagram are more casual. I’m much more serious when writing poetry and usually need to be in seclusion to concentrate on each piece.

What pieces of art involving Asian womxn/artists have caught your eye lately?

I’ll list some of my current favorite Asian creators and artists!

- Steffi Lynn (illustrator and muralist) - Cathrine Khom (founder of Local Wolves Magazine) - Lang Leav (author) - Jolene Ung (artist) - Lucia Tran (founder of Her Studio) - Yoyo the Ricecorpse (illustrator) - Misako Envela (content creator) - Remi Ishizuka (health and fitness influencer) Some of these ladies are also mixed race :)

What do you think are the biggest challenges facing Asian womxn/BIWOC today?

Having our work consumed in the mainstream and being seen as equals to our white peers. We have a history of being overlooked, undervalued, and underrepresented. With all that’s happening with our current uprising for Black equality, I think this is the first time I’ve felt more confident in real change for everyone.

What’s next for you? Any exciting new projects?

I’m working on writing my first book and hope to find a literary agent and publishing house that believes in it. Building a career as an author is a dream of mine that I never thought could be possible, but I want to give it my all to make it possible.

Colorism: An Indian Perspective Written by Bhavani Ganesh

Bhavani Ganesh is an Indian American student currently attending Linfield University as a junior Psychology major. She is passionate about working with young children through assistant teaching at a preschool and volunteering at a child abuse prevention center. She hopes to pursue a career as a social worker or a speech pathologist in the future. While she’s not studying, she loves watching South Indian and Bollywood films, singing in choir, writing short stories and reading romance novels.

Instagram: @bhavani.g https://www.instagram.com/bhavani.g/ Colorism.

Simply put, it is the prejudice and discrimination that people with darker skin face because of the color of their skin. Skin color is determined by how much melanin is present in one’s skin, and more melanin in skin has been proven to protect against UV rays, sunburn, and even skin cancer. Something as trivial as the presence of a skin pigment cell in your body that should, in fact, be celebrated, is the cause for so much hate. This is a global phenomenon, especially prevalent in South and East Asia, African and South American Countries. I want to discuss my perspective on colorism and how it has infiltrated and affected me personally.

Before I touch on my experiences with colorism, I want to discuss the history and origins of colorism in Indian society. Colorism first stemmed from the caste system. Simply put, the caste system is a class system based on birth in India. Though outlawed by the Indian Government, the caste system still remains in the background of every Indian person’s life. The caste system is said to have begun in 1500 BCE and groups people based on their generational occupations.

The brahmins are the highest on the caste system, and they are the priests and the religious mentors, whereas the untouchables are the lowest on the caste system, and they do the ‘dirty work’ of the society such as cleaning the streets and bathrooms. The higher castes were associated with doing work indoors. They were wealthier, so they had ‘fairer’ or lighter skin while the lower castes did a lot of their work outdoors, so they had darker skin due to repeated sun exposure. Skin color was tied to status in society, hence the preference for lighter skin over darker skin.

Colorism only strengthened during the reign of the British Empire. The British Raj ruled over India for nearly 200 years. Eurocentric beauty standards became the new standard in India since then, and sadly when the British left India in 1947, they forgot to take their beauty standards with them. It has since been deeply ingrained in Indian society.

I was nine years old when I first saw an ad for Fair and Lovely (now renamed Glow and Love ly) on television. For anyone who doesn’t know what Fair and Lovely is, it is a “skin lightening

cosmetic product” that appears in the form of lotions, BB creams, and face washes. This brand happens to be India’s #1 best selling fairness cream, bringing in 4100 crores or approximately $545 million a year. I remember seeing the same stereotypical ad of a woman who had dark skin and was unhappy with her skin. She was getting rejected by a man she liked or turned down from a potential job because of her skin color. Then, her lighter-skinned friend would hand her a tube of this magic cream, and suddenly this woman’s skin would get fifty shades lighter. Then would come a lovely montage of the woman with her ‘newfound beauty’ getting many marriage proposals from men and getting accepted to every job offer.

Like every nine-year-old, I’d stare at the TV in awe. How was it possible that a cream-that too a cream that was so accessible to the public with the cheapest sachets priced at 10 rupees or 13 US cents could be real? But I had no choice but to believe it. After all, only the biggest Bollywood stars endorsed this product. And the signs for colorism in India were everywhere. It was in the biggest of cities and the smallest of villages.

Soon, I began to buy in on this idea that I could lighten my skin too. I believed at nine years old that my self-worth was tied to my skin color. In my family, my mother and younger sister were considered to be ‘fair’ or light-skinned while I inherited my father’s ‘duskier’ skin. I wanted to look more like my sister and mother because I always felt like they got more compliments for being beautiful than I ever did. In fact, my best friend’s mother would call my sister Azhagi, or beauty every time she saw her. I would always feel jealous that my sister would get compliments like that, and I’d never get any compliments on my appearance. I’d somehow concluded that the reason for the ‘lack of compliments’ was because I wasn’t light-skinned like my mom or sister.

I decided that the logical solution was to buy a fairness cream. It was easily accessible to me as I lived in Chennai, India, at the time, and fairness creams could be found in any grocery store or pharmacy. However, I didn’t buy the popular Fair and Lovely brand. My nine-year-old self had somehow came to the conclusion that Fair and Lovely was a ‘cheap’ product (which it was, quite truthfully), and I wanted something that was a little more expensive so it wouldn’t harm my skin. So I decided to buy another brand’s fairness cream that was endorsed by one of my favorite stars at the time, Priyanka Chopra. This cream was called Pond’s White Beauty. Yes, I wanted to become a white beauty.

I remember the glass jar it came in. I remember applying the cream to my bare face, spreading it across my cheeks. After application, I could instantly tell that there was a white overcast on my face. On top of that, within two minutes of applying the cream, my face began to burn. I immediately washed the product off of my face and never touched another fairness cream ever. I decided that even if the world screamed at me that I wasn’t beautiful enough for them because of my skin color, it wouldn’t be worth it to use a product that could harm my skin.

Yes, fairness creams do harm your skin. The harmful physical effects of using fairness creams aren’t well known to everyone. Increased usage of fairness creams leads to skin sensitivity to the sun, leading to skin cancer and skin damage. Fairness creams also contain harmful substances like mercury and lead that can damage the skin in the long run. Fairness creams also contain harmful parabens, excessive fragrances, and steroids. Need I say more? While this cream may be cheap and easily accessible in India, the true cost of using it is much higher.

Artist: Shunayna Vaghela @shunayna_ on Instagram Pieces (L to R): “Got my own back”, “Over the Mountain”, ”Summer of Self Care”

Artist: Lisa Chin

@imagination.taking.over

How did a cream that was actually harmful to people physically and emotionally end up on the market? The bigger question is, how did Bollywood celebrities endorse such a toxic mentality?

It’s because Bollywood itself is filled with colorism. If you take a close look at Bollywood, you’ll notice that there is little to no diversity in the skin colors of the actors and actresses represented. This, again, has to do with colorism. Actors and actresses, especially actresses with darker skin, play comical roles or roles that make their skin color the butt of the joke. It is rare for these dark-skinned actors/actresses to come in powerful lead or even supporting roles. In fact, there are films where they would rather put blackface on an existing light-skinned actress to play the role of a dark-skinned girl as opposed to actually letting a dark-skinned actress play the role. The most recent example of this was in the 2019 film Bala. What is the reason behind these deplorable actions? I could only conclude that the movie wouldn’t have done well in the box office because of the preference for actresses with lighter skin. Society would rather see a lighter-skinned woman in blackface than an actual darker-skinned woman. I never saw women with skin like me or darker than mine represented on television growing up.

I soon stopped caring about what people thought about me when it came to my skin color. I was never heavily ostracized for my skin color in the first place by people close to me, so I think it was easier for me to let go of that mindset. Many women who have skin like mine or even darker skin like mine aren’t as lucky as I was. They face way more discrimination on a daily basis, whether from members of their family or unsolicited advice from random third-party people in their lives.

“I decided that even if the world screamed at me that I wasn’t beautiful enough for them because of my skin color, it wouldn’t be worth it to use a product that could harm my skin.”

My nine-year-old self managed to escape from this toxic ideology that my skin was not beautiful because it was darker than my mother or my sister’s skin, relatively unscathed. However, I must acknowledge that while my skin may not be considered ‘light,’ I am also not ‘dark.’ I fall somewhere in the middle, and because of this, I definitely believe and acknowledge that I have more privilege than my darker-hued sisters and brothers.

How can we change these perceptions? It is absurd that even in 2020, people believe that ‘fair’ or lighter skin is beautiful and has better connotations than someone with darker skin. But things are changing in India. Influencers like Jovita George and Deepica Mutyala have contributed immensely to the movement that all shades of skin deserve acceptance no matter what.

The newer generation of Indian people is speaking against colorism and shade discrimination.

In February this year, the Indian Government proposed a $600,000 fine and a jail penalty for endorsing or promoting fairness products. In fact, the #1 fairness cream brand in India I mentioned before got renamed from Fair and Lovely to Glow and Lovely. However, that being said, the cream still has the same lightening agents in it that it had before and is still known as a fairness cream in the market. The rebrand does little in this movement towards acceptance of all hues.

This fight towards acceptance of all skin colors will not be an easy one. It will be a slow and excruciating process, but we shouldn’t give up. So next time you see, hear or experience colorism in your life, call it out! After all, it’s the small steps that will lead to a big impact in this revolution.

Fast Fashion and its Gender-Based Implications Written by J. Faith Malicdem

Faith Malicdem is a freshman studying journalism at Emerson College and is Overachiever’s Editorial Intern. She is also the creator and curator of the PieFace Column. Aside from writing, Faith has many creative endeavors, including film photography and music-making. She hopes to further media coverage on mental health as well as music and the arts.

INSTAGRAM: @johannafaith THE PIEFACE COLUMN: https://www.piefacecolumn.com/ Fast fashion is slowly garnering more attention as millennials. The youth of Gen-Z incorporate the practices of sustainable living into their everyday habits, whether it be through shamelessly buying their stresses away on the thrift app, Depop, or making conscious choices to consume oat milk in their coffee for an extra $0.80. Even though they owe massive amounts of money to their academic institutions and credit card companies.

Fast fashion’s definition is titular—it features the production of clothing at rapid speeds to keep up with the trends. This, in turn, results in poorly-made clothes sold for high prices at the cost of the environmental surroundings of a sweatshop as well as the health and safety of garment workers.

I discovered the slow fashion movement through masterfully filmed YouTube videos by Madelyn De La Rosa. Her “Slow Fashion” video, in particular, caught my attention in the summer of 2017. In the description, she provided multiple resources directing audiences to learn more about the “slow” fashion movement, “... an awareness and approach to fashion, which considers the processes and resources required to make clothing, particularly focusing on sustainability.

It involves buying better-quality garments that will last for longer and values fair treatment of people, animals, and the planet” (What is Slow Fashion).

A few months later that fall, I took it upon myself to write about the repercussions of fast fashion on garment workers in Southeast Asia for my then amateurish Instagram blog, the PieFace Column.

“The environmental effects of fast fashion are rapidly increasing, as 13 million tons of textile waste is being generated annually (2013). Not only has it affected our atmosphere, but it puts laborers in the developing world in harm’s way. Take two of the industry’s latest disasters, the collapsing of a Bangladesh clothing factory in 2013, killing over 1,000 workers and 13 killed in a Dhaka garment factory just this July.” -16 year old me

It wasn’t until I had done the research for the aforementioned piece that I realized just how quick fast fashion companies were to put garment workers in harm’s way in the name of high fashion mimicry. From that point on, I pushed myself to rummage through the wardrobes of my parents and grandparents. I taught myself to keep an eye out for good pieces while “thrifting” at Goodwill and Out of the Closet.

By repurposing clothes in your elders’ closets and buying them secondhand from thrift stores, you’re able to give old clothes new life as opposed to having them be thrown away and contributing to landfill waste. In addition, it lowers your carbon footprint, aids in water preservation, and reduces chemical pollution, according to Erich Lawson of Green and Prosperous. Suffice it to say that the energy and resources put into making any given piece of fast fashion are being conserved when you thrift or repurpose a clothing item. On the other hand, by participating in the slow fashion movement and buying more sustainably-made clothing, you are investing in materials that are durable and long-lasting; clothes that will essentially last you a lifetime, and perhaps even someone else’s once that article of clothing is passed down or donated to a thrift store.

For one of my final projects last semester at college, we were to comment on the detrimental commodity fetishism and capitalistic nature of consumption through the strategy of marketing products by appealing to relevant social issues. It only seemed right to revisit fast fashion. When I did so, I came across a Guardian article by Kate Hodal entitled, “Abuse is daily reality for female garment workers for Gap and H&M, says report.” Hodal reported that 540 workers at Gap and H&M factories in Cambodia, Bangladesh, India, Indonesia, and Sri Lanka have described acts of sexual and physical abuse, but most are reluctant to report such acts due to fear of backlash from their employers

and higher-ups.

According to Remake, a global community of millennial and Gen Z women is committed to putting a halt to the fast fashion industry.

There are 75,000,000 garment workers who work tirelessly for fashion corporations in inhumane conditions as of 2017. Eighty percent of those workers are women aged 18-24.

They work for poverty wages—around $3 an hour— and are often cheated into working 60 to 140 hours overtime for the “overtime pay.”

Tara Fenwick, a professor at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, delineated in her 2008 study “Women Learning in Garment Work: Solidarity and Sociality” that it wasn’t until the late 20th century when information deserts in regards to the faults of sweatshops increased. Now, in 2020, little has been revealed about their rights and working conditions. Still, with what we do know, global alliances such as the Fashion Revolution, the Clean Clothes Campaign, the Asia Floor Wage Alliance, Remake, and so many others are pushing to raise awareness and fight for Asian female garment workers who face nightmarish realities when they go to work each day.

However, now that we know the repercussions of fast fashion stretch beyond striking blows to the environment and well-being of female garment workers, where do we start?

How can we help?

“I realized just how fast fashion compaies were to put garment workers in harm’s way in the name of high fashion mimicry.”

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Enter Fast Fashion and its Gender-Based Implications: a series of deep dives and examinations of fast fashion and its gender-based implications. To answer these questions, and to further my own understanding, I hope to delve into each facet of the garment work issue with nuance and curiosity so we can figure out how to shop more sustainably, fight for the basic human rights of Asian female garment workers, and understand how the exploitation of sweatshop workers phenomenon came to be in the first place. Some of the topics we’ll be exploring include but are not limited to:

~ Feminization of Labor ~ Globalization: Moving Sweatshops Overseas from the US and Canada ~ Activism within Sweatshops ~ Exploitation: taking advantage of those who don’t have better work options ~ Labor alternatives for those in poverty ~ Sweatshop Safety ~ The Fashion Revolution ~ Affordability of Slow Fashion ~ Convenient vs. Radical Transparency: Everlane and Reformation

I look forward to debunking and bringing light to these issues, learning as I comb through research and a variety of sources to share reliable and essential information that directly affect Asian women.

ART ROUNDUP

Artist: Miranda Serrano Pieces: “A Boy Goes on a Trip” (Top) and “Polifishians” (Bottom) Medium: pen and colored pencils, pen and ink @mirandaisdoingthings on Instagram

“Cyber Face (2016)� by Sophia Nguyen Social media: @nau.seous (Instagram) Medium: mixed media art; magazine papers and gouache pain

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China’s Concentration Camps Need Global Attention Written by Ashley Chen

Ashley Chen is the political columnist for Overachiever Magazine. She’s an undergraduate student from New York majoring in Political Science. Her activism is centered upon voter education and civic engagement. Her other areas of interest would include educational equity, reproductive rights, gentrification, climate change and the list goes on. In her free time, she loves to watch films and create collages. INSTAGRAM: @ash.leyyyy On December 31, 2015, the President of the People’s Republic of China, Xi Jinping, broadcasted to the nation expressing his hopes for the upcoming year. In his speech, he called “for confidence and hard work for a good beginning in the home stretch of building a ‘well-off society in an all-round way’” (Xinhua, 2015). The prosperity and well wishes were not directed at the millions of Uyghur Muslims living in Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region (XUAR), an autonomous region within China. The Uyghur Muslim minority population is being religiously persecuted by the President himself and his administration. A “well-off society” is established at the expense of a whole ethnic group forcibly placed into “vocational training camps” as the Chinese government has coined it. Although some governments have passed legislation and brought some attention to the issue, world leaders have failed to take productive measures.

The Chinese government’s despicable actions of establishing camps are inexcusable, but analyzing their intentions allows the general public to get a better foothold on the measures that need to be taken with regard to this issue.

The earliest reporting of these concentration camps date back to 2014 as China wanted to develop their own policies to combat terrorism. But, ethnic tensions within Xinjiang go back centuries in Asian history. Centuries of imperialism, invasion, and war are written all over our history books, which is evident in the history of the Xinjiang region. China believed that Xinjiang was the buffer zone that protected Central China, which meant it was crucial for them to control this region. But, the “justification for controlling Xinjiang to ensure national defense was legitimized in the 1900s as a result of two Uyghur-led independence movements” (Fuller, 2016, p. 12). The Qing Dynasty, which ruled from 1644 to 1912, wanted to assimilate Xinjiang but were unsuccessful as they realized the people of the region were deeply connected to their religion. The notion of religious persecution remains today with the establishment of “reeducation” camps that aim to assimilate the Uyghur population to the rest of Chinese society. Uyghur Muslims living in the Xinjiang region consider themselves to be part of Central Asia, but the influx of Han Chinese immigration and the Chinese government’s intervention has stripped away that identity. The Chinese government has imposed its power in this region by establishing surveilling and controlling their commercial activities.

The power of the Chinese government and their intentions to create a homogenous society was made clear with the enactment of the first “Strike Hard” campaign in 1996, which sought to eliminate crimes and “illegal religious activity” (Boehm, 2009, p. 94).

This campaign went through a series of phases in which each one accelerated the crackdown of Uyghur Muslims. This was especially seen under President Xi Jinping as he ordered the escalation of military presence in the region. There have been several accounts in which students studying abroad return home to find their relatives missing. Chinese authorities are ordered to express compassion and inform them that their relatives have been “ ‘infected’ by the ‘virus’ of Islamic radicalism and must be quarantined and cured” (Ramzy & Buckley, 2019, para. 26). The government’s tactics to “cure” their “religious disease” include physical and psychological torture. Uyghur Muslims are required to attend classes where the curriculum aims to eradicate Islamic teachings and replace them with Chinese communist ideologies. They are given scores as to how well they are mastering the information taught to them. The higher the score they receive, the higher the probability they will be released from the camps (Yeung et al., 2019, para. 2). This is not simply creating “model Chinese citizens” but practices aimed at religious cleansing. Frankly, these practices are deeply rooted in ethnocentrism as the Chinese government works toward maintaining geographical and political power. If this particular practice does not alarm other nations, we have failed to learn from history.

In addition to the camps, the American Press has reported the Chinese government’s birth control efforts in the Xinjiang region. In an attempt to control the Uyghur Muslim population, the government has forced women to obtain an intrauterine device (IUD) or sterilize them to prevent them from having children. The Chinese government ordered that women be penalized with a hefty fine for conceiving three or more children. For many families, their inability to pay these fines forces them into these dangerous concentration camps (The Associated Press, 2020, para. 4). Furthermore, there have been several sexual abuse and rape cases perpetrated by Chinese guards in these camps (Lynch, 2019, para. 5). Unfortunately, this is another indication of the Chinese government’s abuse of power and infringement upon the religious and bodily autonomy of the Uyghur people. The government’s justifications for their practices does not cover up the fact that this is a human rights violation.

In fact, “a new report in Foreign Policy says that China’s suppression of Uighurs, Kazakhs and other chiefly Muslim ethnic minorities in northwest China now meets the United Nations definition of genocide, mass sterilization, forced abortions and mandatory birth control part of a campaign that has swept more than 1.5 million people...” (Simon, 2020).

Identifying the wrongdoings of a government should not be the only step that we take. There needs to be accountability and reparations for the physical and psychological toll families have endured.

To listen to a firsthand account of these camps, please listen to the podcast “The Daily” from the New York Times episode, “A Woman’s Journey Through China’s Detention Camps.”

For more information on how you can take action, please visit the Uyghur Human Rights Project.

In addition, please call on your elected officials and/or representatives in your country to take drastic measures, which includes placing sanctions on China.

HĢőäŅŪĆäū ūĆőĂ ĆƅÁĢű ĂŖĢú Content Marketing Strategist and TikTok Influencer Written By Elle Hong

Elle Hong is the advice columnist of the newly launched feature "Ask Aunty E". Born in Seoul, South Korea, she’s a Connecticut native living in Los Angeles and recent graduate of UCLA. Having grown up idolizing ELLE Magazine’s Ask E. Jean, she dreams of becoming an Editor at an internationally acclaimed print media company. When she’s not writing or giving advice, you can find her practicing hot yoga and baking cookies.

Introduce yourself!

Hi! My name is Tiffany Phung and I’m a marketing strategist by day and photographer by night. In between that, I curate baking tutorial videos on TikTok (@tiffawny) just to get myself out of my comfort zone. Growing up, the only thing I made were chocolate chip cookies and they always came out AWFUL, so I wanted to perfect my cookie recipe as well as to learn how to make other baked goods to avoid having to purchase it (Seattle food is wildly expensive!). I also enjoy traveling and exploring new places to learn to appreciate histories and places outside of my own. However, with the current social climate (COVID, masking up, travel concerns), it’s just safer to wait it out and stay indoors to work on other things I love such as my marketing & photography portfolios.

Go-To Boba order?

Iced matcha crema, half sweet with pearls.

Please share your personal experiences and anecdotes relating to culture, social impact and community living in Olympia, Washington as an Asian American woman.

I’m Vietnamese and grew up in Olympia, Washington.

Growing up, Olympia was a predominantly white town - there were Vietnamese folks here and there but all the kids were either way older or way younger than I was. I tried joining my local Vietnamese Catholic youth group as a pre-teen but was heavily rejected since I joined at a later age than others, came off as too “whitewashed,â€? and “not Catholic enoughâ€? even though I was only 12 \HDUV ROG , UHPHPEHU RQ WKH ĹľUVW GD\ WKH JURXS OHDGHU for the blue scarves (who was 13),

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Please share your personal experiences and anecdotes relating to culture, social impact and community living in Olympia, Washington as an Asian American woman.

I honestly made an account to save a username and it was initially taken. But I came back late 2019 because I decided I wanted to document my photography and the ‘behind the scenes’ aspect of it. At the same time, I kind of liked the idea of posting about random things I was already doing such as baking cookies and making a Youtube beauty guru style tutorial. As soon as one of my videos went “viral,� I was hooked.

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What do you consider to be your biggest accomplishment?

0\ ELJJHVW DFFRPSOLVKPHQW LV GHŵQLWHO\ EXLOGLQJ P\ photography business from the ground up with no money. I spent years saving for my current camera and took my dad’s Costco camera everywhere with me to photograph adventures with my friends and eventually, I booked enough clients to upgrade, then photographed concerts, traveled for work, and built some great friendships with people I really looked up to!

What’s next for you? Future plans?

Any exciting new projects?

I’m not sure yet, it sort of depends how this pandemic pans out… But this summer, I hope to build my portfolio to attract my “dream” clients including adventure seekers, travelers, & lifestyle brands. I already have a few shoots planned with friends and couples that I know from my hometown in the upcoming weeks which I’m SO excited for! After summer, I really hope I get hired somewhere for a full time content marketing position because I’m turning 23 soon which means the bank account fees are about to roll in…

Tiffany Phung is a 22 year old TikTok Influencer, Content Marketing Strategist and Lifestyle Photographer who loves traveling, trying new foods, and dabbling in music and photography. She strives to inspire young Asian-American girls not to be afraid of challenging the status quo by advocating for themselves and pursuing more creative aspirations.

Learn more about Tiffany at: https://www.tiffanyphung.com/about Check out her marketing projects and photography work at www.tiffanyphung.com

ART ROUNDUP

“Akka Thangai” by Prashanti Aswani Medium: Digital Illustration

“under surveillance “ Instagram- @ Art medium- Digita

“ by Devika Bahadur @db_artartist al art (Photoshop)

“Rosy Horror” by Riya Mathew Social media (Instagram): @rimabean.art Medium of artwork: Graphite, Coloured pencils, & Acrylic paint

Independence:

Dating in an Asian Household Written By A Healing Asian Girl

The healing Asian girl is just another girl with her own goals and ambitions.

She's an interdisciplinary artist and advocate whose work expands dialogues between the intersections of her identity including race, religion, culture, and sexuality. She is currently based in Houston, TX and is pursuing a BFA in Animation. At this time she is dedicated to creating spaces and sparking dialogues for the marginalized minority in the Asian Diaspora through the lense of a Mixed West and East Asian.

Dating as an Asian, specifically my experience as mixed West and East Asian, has been a rollercoaster of “Where are you” texts from Dad, scheming about how to get out of the house, redirecting pointed questions, and straight-up lying to maintain privacy and not incur shame. It’s been a lot. At 21 years old, my family has never known a single one of my partners. Not only have they never known about these relationships, but they’ve also never known that I’ve been in non-heteronormative ones. Over the years, I’ve dated my fair share of people in both serious and casual contexts. Some of these experiences were under my parent’s roof, and some of these were opportunities only available to me because I managed to get out. All of them have left me with serious questions about why I’ve had to, or rather why I feel I’ve had to behave this way.

Question 1: Why do I have to be this careful?

In high school, I was constantly jealous of my peers. It seemed as though they had a new boyfriend every month, and on top of that, they discussed those boyfriends with their parents. Then, and even now, I would never dream of revealing such things. I could never wrap my head around the level of comfort these girls had with their parents. They could easily discuss their boyfriend troubles, their date plans, and even sleepovers with their moms. I could barely bring up going to the movies with a group of girls without being interrogated for names, locations, and parents’ numbers. Even now, my parents remain at a distance; they are not my friends. I respect them, I love them, but they are still a figure of authority. I think that’s why I’ve never been comfortable enough to open up about anything with them, neither my personal difficulties, let alone my relationships.

I’ve always dealt with relationship disappointment, shame, and trauma independently. In some ways, it’s made me resilient, and in other ways, it’s left me isolated. I couldn’t possibly discuss these things with my parents without becoming a shameful daughter. Intimacy was always kept out of our discussions.

Intimacy with the opposite sex meant I was impure, a slut, a whore, etc. I had heard my parents’ and aunties’ view on the subject enough times to know that if I was to be respectable, I would have to be a virgin. And at the time, the idea of even bringing an ounce of shame on my family made me shudder.

Question 2: Why am I ashamed?

Which brings me to shame and its role in my childhood. I think shame is a powerful tool in Asian parenting tactics because it ensures conformity from those who ascribe to it. It’s all they’ve ever known, but shame is incredibly crippling.

Shame makes us fearful and requires us to become someone else to please others. It’s inauthentic and damaging. Being first-gen, second-gen, or even thirdgen has distanced us from our parents’ experiences profoundly. It’s difficult for them to understand the dynamics of shame in the ways that we do because we are constantly analyzing shame, or at least, I am. I never grew up in homogeneous spaces. I’ve never had the privilege of understanding the intricacies of my parent’s ideals because I was already in an environment where I was required to adapt.

I’m not fully entrenched in my parent’s culture, and I’m not fully accepted in a White American culture either. This has required me to become independent and make my own way, choosing what I value from the pieces I’m provided. I cannot allow shame to dictate my actions because it’s unproductive. Someone once told me that I’m making my own authentic self. That’s stuck with me. My experiences will be completely different from my parents. My choices will be influenced by a thousand different variables. Though I might feel like I’m floundering, trying to understand why my parents expect one thing and my peers expect another, no one way is the right way, and I shouldn’t feel ashamed for it. I’m constantly learning how to be the best version of myself first and thinking about how to be the best daughter second. Of course, some days are better than others, but overall I feel less guilty, and to me, that’s success.

Question 3: What am I afraid of losing?

In the age of COVID-19 and the current visibility of racial inequality, conversation with my parents has been forthcoming, we have been more transparent than ever, and we’ve reached some understandings…but it’s not perfect. Dating has been, to say the least, interesting. Compound the current crises with a lack of privacy, and it’s near impossible to comfortably date, but somehow I’m managing. If dating wasn’t fully integrated into an online space before, it certainly is now. But online spaces are not exactly the most private, especially in my house-

Talking on the phone in my room with the door closed, there is a guarantee that someone will disrupt my privacy. That can look like the innocent plate of fruit interruption or the passive-aggressive complaints on the tidiness of the house. My most recent budding ‘relationship’ has been forced to be long-distance, even though he lives less than 20 minutes away. Before, there might have been a chance of escaping my household with the excuse of seeing friends in lieu of my secret dates, but now everything is on lockdown. Rather it was, then it wasn’t, and I managed to visit him a few times, and then lockdown part two happened (I could discuss the inefficiency of our governments’ response which allows this crisis to continue in the way it has, but let’s be real, this is old news, and there is access to other resources that could articulate this better than I ever could.

Anyway, back to the story. So my household is less than ideal when it comes to significant others, hookups, or friends with benefits (FWB). Honestly, I’m still dictated by shame. I’m ashamed to reveal this current FWB because it will mean I’ll have to reconcile with my parent’s idea of me versus who I actually am. And I’m not ready to shatter their rosy glasses just yet. This experience has had me look closely at my parents’ lack of trust in me and how that infringes upon my independence. The power, of course, is in my parents’ hands. They are the ones who allow me to leave the house, allow me to live comfortably under their roof during COVID, allow me to afford college. They have all the power, and so I am subjected to their law. This partly prevents me from making my own decisions and creates this impasse. If I break the rosy glasses, would they revoke their support of me? Would they really? Why does that scare me so much when, most likely, their support would only waver for a moment? The lack of independence under their roof is phenomenally contrasted with the independence of living away for college. Their support is what allows me to pursue my dreams and is also what partly prevents me from seeing them realized. This trade-off between my independence and the security my family provides is paralyzing, but I’ve managed to find a loophole for myself. Early on in college, I realized that I don’t have to be completely transparent in my actions to be a good daughter. I just need to seem like I am. I’m afraid of losing my parents’ love and acceptance if they see the real me. But that doesn’t mean I have to put up a front with them all the time. I’ve decided to let them see what is necessary to maintain balance.

I might be on the phone with a friend, but that friend might have seen more of me than my parents would agree with.

I’m still growing, I’m still learning, and I’m still creating independence for myself. I cannot compare myself with other people because they either have never faced these challenges, or they are in a different stage of working through these challenges. I’ve made progress, but I still have much further to go. One day I want to be able to have an open dialogue with my parents about my sex life. I want to be able to talk about the female body and how crazy it is with my mom.

I want to be able to divulge my relationship troubles with my dad. But for now, I’ll settle for dismantling colorism and white supremacy with them.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;thoughtlessness - a girl & draperyâ&#x20AC;? by Melissa Lin Social Media (on Twitter and Instagram): @gaydepresso Medium: Oil Pastels

The Asian Womxn’s Workplace Struggle, And Why Not Fitting In With “Office Is Code For

Written By Belinda Cai

Culture”

“You Don’t Belong”

Belinda Cai is a writer and content creator. She is currently the production manager for Dog Whisperer HQ, working closely with Emmy Award-nominated producer Kay Sumner, the co-creator of the original Dog Whisperer TV show on National Geographic. Graduating from the University of Southern California, Belinda has an M.S. degree in journalism & communications. She has contributed to well-known media outlets like VICE and Bitch Media, and has also worked for NPR Member Station WVXU. She occasionally contributes to Swipe Life, Tinder’s relationship blog; an excerpt of her writing for Swipe Life was featured in The New York Times. She LV DOVR +XPDQ RQ 1HWŶL[ŌV Ŏ +XPDQV ŏ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/__blender/ website: https://belindacai.com

When I saw a publication I used to write for, post a quote by my favorite author Audre Lorde on Instagram, my eyes brimmed with tears.

Angry ones. Audre is a radical black lesbian intersectional feminist, whose words empower me. Her essays pushed me to become a more inclusive, intersectional feminist.

They propelled me to examine my own blind spots and privileges, something I try to do every day.

The CEO of this small company demoted me from Assistant Editor to a remote contributor position without warning — and over a text message. When this happened, the rug was pulled out from under me. In the two months I was there, I received nothing but praise from both the CEO and managing editor. They told me they loved my articles ideas, writing and editing expertise, and quick learning skills. I wrote more than 20 pieces for them. Ăä ÚĩŅä ʼnőÁƅ Ģĩū Ćʼn ÚĩġłŅĆʼnäà ĩù Áěġĩʼnő äĢtirely white, cis, straight women. A white woman replaced me. The only other BIPOC who ūĩŅėäà ĩĢ őĂä ʼnőÁƅ ūĂäĢ H ūÁʼn ĆĢ őĂä ĩƆÚä was also replaced with a white woman. Every person in a leadership role is white. When I was demot- ed, the CEO said I performed well, but ġäĢőĆĩĢäà Ăĩū H àĆàĢΎő ƈő ĆĢ ūĆőĂ őĂä ΋ĩƆÚä cul ture.” This, to me, read: you can’t sit with us.

Audre’s words looked hollow on the company’s page. The quote was even a vague one. This is unsurprising, as the company has chosen to be vague about their support of Black Lives Matter, which simply doesn’t meet the moment, especially for a ΋łŅĩúŅäʼnʼnĆŪäΌ łŖÙěĆÚÁőĆĩĢ͠ ĂĆʼn ĂÁʼn drawn criticism from some of their readers, displayed in their comments on Instagram. Some also claim their comments expressing concerns about inclusivity were deleted.

This publication uses the wisdom, experiences, and pain of their BIPOC remote contributors for articles about race and identity, and the LGBTQIA experience. But those writers are just that: remote contributors ūĂĩ àĩĢΎő ĆĢőäŅÁÚő ūĆőĂ őĂä 'g ĩŅ ʼnőÁƅ ĩĢ a regular in-person basis. This was the po- siőĆĩĢ őĩ ūĂĆÚĂ H ūÁʼn àäġĩőäà͠ ő ƈŅʼnő͡ őĂä őŅÁŖma of what had happened didn’t sink in. I continued to contribute even though, deep down, I felt uneasy and even untrue to myself. The whole situation was upsetting. I didn’t do anything wrong but was suddenly being treated like a second class citizen. I decided to be polite and amicable. In the end, I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I was more like the CEO — if I was white, even, I would have gotten a second chance. gŅ Áő ěäÁʼnő őĂä àĆúĢĆƈäà ÚĩĢŪäŅʼnÁőĆĩĢ H àäʼnäŅŪäà͠

,

The Lose/Lose Double Bind According to Slate’s article The Bamboo Glass äĆěĆĢú͡ ΋DÁŅÁʼnʼnġäĢő ĆĢ őĂä ūĩŅėłěÁÚä ěĩĩėʼn àĆƅäŅäĢő ùĩŅ ūĩġäĢ ĩù ÚĩěĩŅ͡ ĆĢÚěŖàĆĢú ʼnĆÁĢ womxn. Racial prejudice can present itself in the form of stereotypes and microaggressions.”

In the article, 31-year-old digital marketing director Maria Cruz Lee (who is Filipino-AmeriÚÁĢʹ ʼnÁűʼn͡ ΋HΎġ Á ŪäŅű ÁʼnʼnäŅőĆŪä łäŅʼnĩĢ͠ Ăä ĆàäÁ that Asian women are more quiet [and] won’t łŖʼnĂ ÙÁÚė Áʼn ġŖÚĂ͡ H őĂĆĢė͡ Ćʼn ūĂÁő őĂŅĩūʼn ĩƅ Á lot of my colleagues when I’m no holds barred.”

want a doormat. They get very mad at you when you’re not jumping up and down to serve them or trying to be their best friend,” she says. ĆƅÁĢű ŅÁĢ͡ ̠̣͡ Ćʼn úäĢäŅÁěěű ńŖĆÚė őĩ ʼnłäÁė Ŗł when something doesn’t feel right and can be confrontational when someone takes advantage of her — which also doesn’t align with the stereotype of an introverted, submissive Asian woman.

Forbes points out a unique double bind to which Asian womxn are subjected. When Asian womxn are polite and quiet, they are viewed as lacking leadership skills. When they are outspoken and ĩłĆĢĆĩĢÁőäà ͳĂĩū H ūĩŖěà àäƈĢĆőäěű àäʼnÚŅĆÙä ġűself), they are seen as aggressive and unlikeable.

΋H ùääě őĂÁő äġłěĩűäŅʼn úäĢäŅÁěěű äŰłäÚő ʼnĆÁĢ womxn to be subservient and docile, happy with what they’re given, and to never want ġĩŅä͡Ό ŅÁĢ ʼnÁűʼn͠ ΋H Áěʼnĩ ùääě ěĆėä őĂäű äŰłäÚő us to assimilate with workplace culture, which sometimes means smiling and nodding along with microaggressions and intrusive questions about Asian culture from coworkers.

Hù ÁĢ ʼnĆÁĢ ūĩġÁĢ àäƈäʼn őĂÁő ĢĩŅġ͡ ʼnĂä ÚÁĢ Ùä ěÁÙäěäà Áʼn àĆƆÚŖěő͡ ÚŅĆőĆÚÁě͡ ÁĢà ŖłőĆúĂő͠Ό

Ăä ÁŅőĆÚěä ʼnőÁőäʼn͡ ΋ ŅäÚĆʼnäěű ÙäÚÁŖʼnä ĩù this lose/lose behavioral double bind, Asian-American women are the least likely demographic group to be promoted from non-manager professionals to executives.”

aäū WĆĢà gù ΋gƆÚä ŖěőŖŅäΌ ©ĂäĢ Ćő Úĩġäʼn őĩ ƈőőĆĢú ĆĢőĩ ΋ĩƆÚä ÚŖěőŖŅä͡Ό ŅÁĢ ʼnÁűʼn͡ ΋ ĂĆʼn ʼnääġʼn ěĆėä Á őĂĆĢly-veiled attempt for someone to ask that you try harder to be liked by everyone else.”

An Unequal Playing Field Korean-American H.L. Park is no stranger őĩ àĆʼnÚŅĆġĆĢÁőĆĩĢ Áő ūĩŅė͠ Ăä ʼnÁűʼn͡ ΋HĢ ġű workplace (I’m an instructional aide for special needs children), almost all of the teachers are white women, while almost all of the Instructional aides are women of colĩŅ͠ H ĩùőäĢ ƈĢà ġűʼnäěù ùääěĆĢú ěĆėä ÁĢ ĩŖőʼnĆàer looking into classroom after classroom of ĩěàäŅ ©g ƈúĂőĆĢú ÁġĩĢúʼnő őĂäġʼnäěŪäʼn őĩ gain favor with the white woman teacher.”

ÁŅė ʼnÁűʼn͡ ΋ ĩ ġä͡ Ćő ġäÁĢʼn űĩŖ ĂÁŪä ĩŖőʼnĆàäŅ tendencies, and the workplace chooses to view that as a threat. Instead of realizing that everyÙĩàű Ćʼn àĆƅäŅäĢő ÁĢà Ģĩő äŪäŅűÙĩàű ʼnĂĩŖěà Ùä relegated to a certain archetype, they see your àĆƅäŅäĢÚä Áʼn Á łäŅʼnĩĢÁě ΍ùÁĆěĆĢúΎ ŅÁőĂäŅ őĂÁĢ Á Ģäū ŪĆäūłĩĆĢő őĂÁő ÚÁĢ ÙäĢäƈő őĂä ūĩŅėłěÁÚä͠Ό

Park works with wonderful teachers who try their best to be inclusive. However, she’s noőĆÚäà ĩőĂäŅ őäÁÚĂäŅʼn ŖʼnĆĢú őĂĆʼn ĆĢƈúĂőĆĢú őĩ their advantage; they do this by creating an ongoing contest to see how far these aides are willing to take on their teachers’ responsibilities.

While the district has been hiring younger and ġĩŅä àĆŪäŅʼnä ÁĆàäʼn ěĆėä ÁŅė͡ ʼnĂä ʼnÁűʼn͡ ΋ Ăä łäĩłěä ĆĢ łĩūäŅ ÁŅä ʼnőĆěě àäƈĢĆőäěű Áěě ġĩʼnőěű rich, straight, white women, and it creates a tense and backstabbing type of work culture.”

Park has noticed many of her white women bossäʼn ūÁĢőĆĢú ĂäŅ őĩ ÚĩĢúŅÁőŖěÁőä őĂäġ ÁĢà ΋ėĆʼnʼn up to them.” One of the teachers expected her to be a quiet person and was unhappy when she found out that Park was willing to change aspects of her classroom and call out her bad behavior. ΋H őĂĆĢė ͷūĂĆőä ūĩġäĢ ĆĢ ěäÁàäŅʼnĂĆł łĩʼnĆőĆĩĢʼn͸

When it comes to reversing stereotypes łěÁÚäà ĩĢ ʼnĆÁĢ ūĩġŰĢ͡ ŅÁĢ ʼnÁűʼn őĂä ƈŅʼnő step is to make diversity and inclusion training a requirement for every new hire. Those in leadership roles should prioritize this ÁĢà ĂĆŅä Á àĆŪäŅʼnä ʼnőÁƅ͠ ÁŅė ʼnĂÁŅäʼn őĂä same sentiment about diversity training.

HĢ ÁààĆőĆĩĢ͡ ʼnĂä ʼnÁűʼn͡ ΋©ä ʼnĂĩŖěà ʼnääė őĩ łŖő Asian womxn in leadership positions. It feels wrong to me that we still have so many places of employment where a majority of the workers are BIPOC, but the ones in power are white.”

As for me, I’ve learned an important lesson: all you can do is better yourself and let go of the past.

It’s been a year since I was demoted at the puběĆÚÁőĆĩĢ͡ ÁĢà HΎġ ƈĢÁěěű ĂäÁěĆĢú͠ H ġÁàä Á łŅĩġise to myself — from now on, I’ll only be writing for publications with strong BIPOC leadership ÁĢà ʼnőÁƅ͠ ĂÁőΎʼn őĂä ėĆĢà ĩù ΋ĩƆÚä ÚŖěőŖŅäΌ H support, and where I want my words to shine.

Independence of a Lao American Woman Written By Amber Inthavong

Born and raised in Colorado, Amber's parents came as refugees from Laos.

She is a proud single mom to her daughter Kaela. And MBA who's passionate about freelance writing and outdoor adventure blogging for ColoradoCaribou.com. She is a big supporter of Asian American, women led and outdoor organizations.

INSTAGRAM: @coloradocaribou The ability to come into my own, as an independent Asian American woman, was an internal struggle between both cultures. Looking back, there were always conflicting expectations to meet Lao cultural norms while meeting American societal ones. As every chapter of life unfolded, I carried two nagging questions of confirmation: Are you doing what your parents say you’re supposed to be doing? And are you meeting all of the social norms of being an American?

If you’re of Asian descent, chances are you understand that our parents’ demands are heavy, regardless of if you’re 15 or 30 years old. From as far back as I can remember, mom and dad would never fail to remind me, “Oh that’s not our way of doing things! Don’t tarnish our family name.” While my friends would challenge, “So.. Why aren’t you able to do this again?”

It also didn’t take long to come to the realization that sons and daughters would never be withheld to the same standards. My brother would bring girlfriends over to spend the night, go out late with friends, drink beer and smoke cigarettes, without a single comment from mom and dad. I, on the other hand, was never allowed to have boyfriends, never allowed to attend an all-girls slumber party, was discouraged from wearing shorts and tank tops to school, and had strict curfews imposed upon me. At the age of 19, when I wanted to move out just as all my other friends were, mom and dad made it clear that I never needed to leave home and contested, “Why? You can stay home with us until you marry a man!”

Something that was customary in Lao culture. In fact, staying home into adulthood to take care of your parents was something that was expected. I took notice of other Lao households when sons would marry their wives and bring them to live in their parents’ home. Everything felt backward and confusing, watching how the typical American would come into independence, while I was stuck and hesitant to make any moves.

My desire to move on and become an adult was always followed by overwhelming feelings of guilt, as though I was betraying my family in doing so.

I was torn inside, feeling wrong for having boyfriends as a teenager, wrong for wanting to find my first apartment, wrong for not being married yet, wrong for not taking care of mom and dad. Conversely, wrong for not having a boyfriend, wrong for not moving out yet, and wrong for not starting my own life. Where am I and where am I supposed to be?

Truly, no matter what background you come from, the act of independence alone is already a challenge for every man and woman out there. Those underlying fears and doubts we carry as individual people in and of themselves are already present. I had to learn that even with contradicting standards and regardless of where I was to\ld to be, I had no choice but to find the courage to be independent on my own terms. I had to learn that my parents were not at fault because they were shaped by the values of their own society and upbringing, passing it onto their children.

“the only thing that’s left for us is to adapt and build as we go, in order to come into our independence for it’s the only choice we have.”

Today’s Asian American has to find ways to redefine independence, honoring their culture while functioning in an unfamiliar society. This is the first generation complex that many of us have had to face because while we own blended identities, we continue to make new rules, continue to set a new example, continue to progress, and create the definition of independence on our own. With this added layer, both scary and beautiful at the same time, we still have to own our independence just like any other person does.

We cannot hold resentments to the customs we bear, yet we cannot resist our new environments, the only thing that’s left for us is to adapt and build as we go, in order to come into our independence for it’s the only choice we have.

ART ROUNDUP

“Nightly Blues” by Kayla Burke @kaylaburk.e on Instagram Medium: Acrylic and pen on canvas

Artist: Keish

hin Sadava

Artist: Sherly Prince

The Parallel Experiences of Travelling and Living Alone Written By Jesie Salcedo

Jesiebelle Salcedo, or Jesie graduated from the University of Calgary with a Bachelor of Arts in Canadian Studies with Distinction, and a Bachelor of Elementary Education specializing in English as an Additional Language in 2016. She currently works as a teacher. To date, she has worked with many immigrant youth both in a local non-profit setting and within the school system, fuelling her passion for anti-Black and anti-racism education. When Jesie travels, she loves exploring the food culture. In her spare time, she enjoys baking up a storm for her friends and loved ones, reading, and writing to process the world around her. @jbcs11 https://www.instagram.com/jbcs11/ @jbskitchendiaries https://www.instagram.com/jbs_ Growing up in a Filipino household, I was fairly sheltered from certain realities of independence. Like a horse with blinders on, I mainly focused on my studies throughout university, for a â&#x20AC;&#x153;better future.â&#x20AC;? As I studied, my parents maintained WKH KRXVH DQG ĹľQDQFHV 7KRXJK P\ SDUents imparted many lessons throughout my life, some lessons are meant to be learned independently. Planning trips to new places planted seeds of self-reliDQFH DQG HYHQWXDOO\ EORRPHG ZKHQ , Ĺľnally moved out on my own a year ago.

7KH LQLWLDO DQ[LHW\ WR UHO\ RQ P\VHOI GXULQJ P\ ĹľUVW VROR WULS VXQN LQ DV , ĹľUVW ODQGHG in Ottawa, Canadaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s capital city. As a kid, my parents emphasized being aware of my surroundings. Surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces, I was hyper-aware of my environment. Slowly dipping my toes into the city enticed my curiosity. Soon, familiarity and my inner adventurer abolished P\ DQ[LHW\ VSDUNLQJ FRQĹľGHQFH DV , ZDQdered the Ottawa streets in solitude. SimiODUO\ ZKHQ , ĹľUVW PRYHG RXW , ZDV FRJQLzant of the vast emptiness of my new home.

I would constantly check if my doors and windows were locked so that no intruders entered uninvited. As the weeks turned into months, I nestled comfortably in my space, making myself feel free at home.

:KLOH , OLYHG DW KRPH ELOOV ZHUH QRQH[LVWHQW 7KRXJK P\ SDUHQWV ERWK ZRUNHG and had a part-time job, they advised me to save my earnings. But in the safety net of my parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; house, I spent lavishly instead. When I forked over my hard-earned money to feed my month-long trip to Asia, I was hit with a big reality check. I was travelling to four different countries with vastly different conversion rates to the Canadian dollar. Prior to leaving, I wisely budgeted for each country and withdrew HQRXJK FDVK IRU WKH ĹľUVW OHJ RI P\ WULS ,Q every country, I meticulously accounted IRU HDFK SXUFKDVH IRU P\ ĹľQDQFLDO UHFRUGV and brought souvenirs through Canadian borders. Budgeting for Asia built my KDELW RI UHYLHZLQJ H[SHQGLWXUHV 7UDQVLtioning into my own living space, I continued to slash unnecessary purchases and UHVHUYH IXQGV IRU DFWXDO OLYLQJ H[SHQVHV 7KRXJK , KDYH QRW SHUIHFWHG P\ EXGJHW , DP WKDQNIXO IRU P\ ĹľQDQFLDO DZDUHQHVV En route to Bangkok, I landed in Guang]KRX &KLQD 0\ ĹśLJKW DUULYHG ODWH GXH to a typhoon wreaking havoc along ChiQDĹ&#x152;V FRDVWOLQH 0LVVLQJ P\ ĹľQDO FRQQHFWLRQ IXHOHG P\ DQ[LHW\ DQG YH[DWLRQ , DWWHPSWHG WR FRQWDFW P\ IULHQGV LQ 7KDLland, my sister, and my partner but was unable to send or receive messages.

7KH *UHDW )LUHZDOO RI &KLQD FHQVRUHG FHUtain Western social media apps. Being isolated from everyone I loved with no form of communication was truly terrifying. I wanted to break down into a frustrated ball, but I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t with all these strangers around me. Instead, I endured WKH FKDRV FDOFXODWLQJ P\ QH[W PRYH Quickly, I learned that the airline accommodated passengers who missed their ŶLJKWV , UHVHUYHG WKH QH[W ŶLJKW DQG ŵJured it was smooth sailing as I descended into Bangkok until I discovered that the airline left my luggage in China. Despite the craziness, in the end, things worked RXW 7KLV ZDV D OHVVRQ , UHPHPEHUHG DW the beginning of this school year when substitute teaching jobs were sparse. It had only been a couple of months since I moved out, and I felt stressed to the bone over my bills. My savings were quickly depleting, and I needed to stabilize my income. After much inner debate, I applied to a few tutoring companies to continue UHŵQLQJ P\ WHDFKLQJ VNLOOV DQG PDNH H[tra money. Problems may pile high, but regardless of the stressfulness, a situation will diffuse with action and patience.

7KURXJKRXW WKH ŵUVW IHZ PRQWKV , VXUprised myself with the food I prepared.

I even scout new dishes to share with my loved ones and document my progress on Instagram. As I continue practicing, the better my cooking skills become.

My mom reigns as the cooking powerhouse. Usually, Mom took charge of grocery shopping and determined our meals, with room for suggestions. Because I rarely cooked at home, I simultaneousO\ WKRXJKW , VXFNHG DW LW ,Q 7KDLODQG P\ IULHQGV DQG , LPPHUVHG RXUVHOYHV LQ D 7KDL cooking class. Secretly, I was nervous VLQFH , ODFNHG SULRU FRRNLQJ H[SHULHQFH $V ZH SUHSSHG P\ DQ[LHW\ TXLFNO\ PHOWHG &KRSSLQJ DQG PL[LQJ DOO RXU LQJUHGLHQWV IRU 7KDL GLVKHV OLNH 3DG 6HH (Z DQG Panang Curry was my epiphany. I loved the mingling aromas and savoured the sizzling sounds of a dish forming. After all the love and effort invested into our food, , GLVFRYHUHG P\ RZQ VHOI VXIŵFLHQF\ LQ preparing a decent meal. Moving into my own house, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve slowly enhanced my cooking skills, since eating out is pricey.

([SORULQJ XQIDPLOLDU SODFHV HQOLJKWHQV RXU VRXOV ZLWK GHSWK DQG H[SHULHQFH carrying lessons of strength, curiosity, DQG LQGHSHQGHQFH 7KHVH OHVVRQV DQG H[SHULHQFHV KDYH SURIRXQG RU VXEWOH HIfects on our daily lives, shifting our perspectives and blossoming new parts of ourselves. Armed with the knowledge my parents taught me throughout the \HDUV FRXSOHG ZLWK WKH H[SHULHQFHV RI my adventures, my self-reliance evolved.

In Filipino culture, family is central to all aspects of life. While I enjoyed the freedom of roaming foreign places without parental supervision, I missed them after a few days. No matter where I travelled, and as I journey through life, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve learned to respectfully uphold my connection with my parents. Like everyone at the start of quarantine, I was locked in my house. Now that I was home more, cooking consumed my time. Learning Filipino foods kindled my need for the nosWDOJLD DQG IDPLOLDULW\ RI P\ IDPLO\ 7R XQGHUVWDQG WKH FRPSOH[LWLHV RI )LOLSLQR home cooking, I advised the master chef, P\ PRP 7KURXJK KHU FRDFKLQJ RQ WKH phone, she guided me through dishes like Ginataan, Arroz Caldo, and Champorado. Amongst the chaos, her knowledge and guidance bridged my independence and the connection to my Filipino roots.

Written By Aunty E

Ask Aunty E

Dear Aunty E, 6R ,Ĺ&#x152;YH EHHQ KDYLQJ UHDOO\ EDG OXFN ĹľQGLQJ D MRE ULJKW QRZ DQG , NQRZ LWĹ&#x152;V partly because I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really have experience in the industry Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m trying to purVXH $OO ,Ĺ&#x152;YH JRW RQ P\ UHVXPH LV YROXQWHHU ZRUN LQ PDQDJHPHQW DQG VRPH FXVWRPHU VHUYLFH EXW , WKLQN HPSOR\HUV JORVV RYHU WKLV EHFDXVH WKH\ ZHUHQĹ&#x152;W Ĺ&#x17D;UHDOĹ?

MREV" , DOVR NQRZ LWĹ&#x152;V MXVW GLIĹľFXOW WR ĹľQG D MRE DPLGVW WKH SDQGHPLF WR EHJLQ ZLWK %XW , QHHG WR VWDUW PDNLQJ VRPH PRQH\ DQG SXW P\ FROOHJH HGXFDWLRQ WR JRRG XVH 6KRXOG , ORRN LQWR SDUW WLPH MREV RU LQWHUQVKLSV LQVWHDG" $Q\ WLSV RU VXJJHVWLRQV" Sincerely, Jobless and Hopeless

Dear Jobless and Hopeless, , FDQ UHVRQDWH ZLWK ZKDW \RXÅ&#x152;UH JRLQJ WKURXJK EHFDXVH ,Å&#x152;P DOVR JRLQJ WKURXJK WKH H[DFW VDPH WKLQJ &RURQDYLUXV LV NLOOLQJ WKH MRE PDUNHW ULJKW QRZ VR , UHDOO\ FRPPHPRUDWH \RX IRU \RXU UHVLOLHQFH LQ SRZHULQJ WKURXJK D GLIŵFXOW MRE KXQWLQJ SURFHVV )LUVW DQG IRUHPRVW \RX VKRXOG 127 IHHO GLVFRXUDJHG IURP DSSO\LQJ WR D MRE GXH WR D VXESDU UHVXPH RU D ODFN RI H[SHULHQFH ,WÅ&#x152;V ZRUWK D VKRW DQG \RXÅ&#x152;UH QHYHU JRLQJ WR NQRZ \RXU FKDQFHV LI \RX FKRRVH QRW WR DSSO\ DW DOO %XW , ZRXOG VD\ WKDW RQH ZD\ RI ERRVWLQJ \RXU DELOLW\ WR EHFRPH D PRUH FRPSHWitive candidate is by directly reaching out to the companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recruiter/hiring PDQDJHU WR LQWURGXFH \RXUVHOI DQG GLVFXVV ZKDW VNLOOV DQG DWWULEXWHV \RX can bring to their team (simply applying online doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do much to help you stand out).

3HUVRQDOO\ DIWHU KXQGUHGV RI IDLOHG DWWHPSWV DW RQOLQH DSSOLFDWLRQV DQG FRXQWOHVV HQFRXQWHUV ZLWK VKDG\ UHFUXLWLQJ DJHQFLHV , EHJDQ /LQNHG,Q VWDONLQJ PDJD]LQH HGLWRUV DQG GLUHFWO\ HPDLOLQJ WKHP DERXW ZKDW QHZ SHUVSHFWLYHV DQG LGHDV , FDQ EULQJ WR WKHLU WHDP ,Å&#x152;YH ODQGHG VR PDQ\ RSSRUWXQLWLHV DQG IUHHODQFH JLJV WKLV ZD\ , DOVR WRRN DGYDQWDJH RI P\ VFKRROÅ&#x152;V FDUHHU FHQWHU RSWLPL]HG RQ QHWZRUNLQJ IRU H[DPSOH UHDFKLQJ RXW DQG FRQQHFWLQJ ZLWK SUHYLRXV FXUUHQW HPSOR\HHV RI D FRPSDQ\ ,Å&#x152;P LQWHUYLHZLQJ DW DQG WKHQ QDPH GURSSLQJ WKHP GXULQJ WKH LQWHUYLHZ DQG PDLQWDLQHG UHODWLRQVKLSV ZLWK +5 DVVRFLDWHV DQG UHFUXLWHUV HYHQ LI , GLGQÅ&#x152;W JHW WKH SRVLWLRQ VHQG WKHP WKDQN \RX HPDLOV LPPHGLDWHO\ IROORZLQJ \RXU LQWHUYLHZ DQG DVN LI \RX FDQ VWD\ LQ WRXFK YLD /LQNHG,Q DV LW HQFRXUDJHV WKHP WR UHDFK RXW WR \RX IRU IXWXUH MRE RSHQLQJV

$OO LQ DOO , GHŵQLWHO\ DJUHH ZLWK \RX WKDW MRE KXQWLQJ LV DQ LQFUHGLEO\ GLIŵFXOW DQG IUXVWUDWLQJ SURFHVV $OWKRXJK WKH MRE PDUNHW LV ORRNLQJ SUHWW\ ZHDry during these unprecedented times, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about staying positive, using DOO WKLV TXDUDQWLQH WLPH WR EXLOG \RXU SURIHVVLRQDO QHWZRUN DQG ZRUN RQ DQ\ UHVXPH ERRVWLQJ WUDLQLQJ FHUWLŵFDWLRQV L H *RRJOH SURYLGHV IUHH RQOLQH SURJUDPV WR EH FHUWLŵHG LQ *RRJOH $QDO\WLFV DQG $G 0DQDJHU DV GRHV Coursera). %HVW RI OXFN Sincerely, Aunty E

Dear Aunty E, I wanted to ask for advice on marriage and dating. All my life as an Asian girl, P\ PRP KDV UDLVHG PH WR EHOLHYH WKDW P\ OLIH JRDO LV WR ŵQG D KXVEDQG DQG JHW married. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve constantly been told to act like a lady or become a certain way to please my future in-laws. So, I grew up mistakenly thinking that marriage is my only true measure of success. Whenever I go to family gatherings, my grandparents and aunties would ask me if I was dating anyone. As I get older, I know these questions will get much worse, especially if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m still single. It seems like they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really care about my career and academic achievements!!

7KH WKLQJ LV $XQW\ ( ,Å&#x152;YH GDWHG JX\V EHIRUH DQG DOZD\V IHOW WKH QHHG WR ŵQG my future husband. My last boyfriend was a really great guy, but I was never down to commit, settle down, and get married. I just always felt restless. My older sister got married early at 25, and she seems to be doing okay. But for some reason, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t imagine myself being okay with dating someone until Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 30, getting married, and having kids. It has really made me question the idea RI PDUULDJH 0DUULDJH VHHPV OLNH VRPH JUHDW OLIH IXOŵOOPHQW EXW ,Å&#x152;YH UHDOL]HG thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s other areas of life worth exploring.

How or when do you even begin to feel okay with settling down and getting PDUULHG WR VRPHRQH" :KDW LV WKH VHFUHW WR ŵQGLQJ VRPHRQH DQG EHLQJ RND\ with dating them for the rest of your life?

Sincerely, Single But Not Ready to Mingle

Dear Single But Not Ready to Mingle, 7KDQNV IRU ZULWLQJ LQ <RXÅ&#x152;UH GHŵQLWHO\ QRW WKH RQO\ $VLDQ JLUO WR KDYH IHOW this way about dating and marriage. Recently, I came upon this article about the decline of marriage rates among women in South Korea. Asian FXOWXUHV DUH LQŶXHQFHG E\ &RQIXFLDQ FXVWRPV RQH ZKLFK H[WUHPHO\ YDOXHV the importance of marriage and family heritage. So, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only natural for your parents and relatives to be expressing their concern about your current relationship status.

But, you have a really good point, marriage should NOT be your only meaVXUH RI VXFFHVV DQG D PDQ VKRXOG QHYHU GHŵQH \RXU VHOI ZRUWK $OWKRXJK itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard trying to avoid those dreaded â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;marriageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; lectures, I encourage you to remain true to yourself and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let these comments get to you.

Also, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s completely normal to feel a bit uncertain about settling down with somebody. Love shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be forced, and trust me, as cheesy as this sounds--when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re with a guy you WANT to settle down with, you will NQRZ ,Å&#x152;P GHŵQLWHO\ RQ WKH VDPH ERDW DV \RX VLQFH ,Å&#x152;P DOVR WDNLQJ D IHZ \HDUV WR P\VHOI ŵJXULQJ RXW P\ FDUHHU SDWK UHYHOLQJ LQ P\ LQGHSHQGHQFH and still searching for what other adventures and discoveries life entails.

7KHUHÅ&#x152;V QR VHFUHW LQ ŵQGLQJ VRPHRQH ZKR \RX ZLOO VSHQG WKH UHVW RI \RXU life with. If there was, then whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the point of love?? If there was a magic IRUPXOD RQ KRZ WR ŵQG \RXU VRXOPDWH WKHQ IHHOLQJV ZRQÅ&#x152;W H[LVW (PRWLRQV wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be valid. Passion wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be so intoxicatingly powerful.

So, you do you, girl. Try not to focus too much on marriage and kids until you feel ready to settle down and ready to take on the next chapter of your life.

Sincerely, Aunty E

om.