Overachiever Magazine: The Productivity Issue

With articles on...

Impostor Syndrome Voting in 2020 Work-Life Balance And interviews with...

Sustainability Blogger, Shanice Tadeo CEO of Botany Box, Cait Khosla Data Analyst at Brown Girl Magazine, Veena Ramaswamy

Editor’s Note Dear OM readers, Productivity is a tricky topic to cover, especially for Asian women. With its roots in the model minority myth and exploitative capitalism, it’s hardly anything to glorify. At the same time, for many of us, it’s an incredibly useful skill, as we balance school, work, family obligations, along with trying to have a social life and maybe even (gasp) date! So, like most things at Overachiever, we set out to uncover the good, the bad, the ugly, and of course, the hilarious.

What resulted was this issue. Thank you to the writers for making this issue a reality, the team at Overachiever Magazine for keeping me sane, and you for reading this.

Yours, Rehana Paul Editor-In-Chief and Founder, Overachiever magazine

Shanice is the blogger behind eversoslow.com (@eversoslow). She is a strong believer in sustainable, fair trade, and slow fashion. Since she was young, she has been interested in the fashion industry.

But she eventually turned that interest into a passion for change. Her constant curiosity and love of learning pushes her to research and learn about different organizations’ ecological and social footprint, while helping her better understand the economics of the industry. Currently working with a non-profit, with her business background, she hopes to engage and mobilize citizens towards a more sustainable lifestyle while pushing collective action to influence governmental and corporate decisions.

An Interview with

Shanice Tadeo Written By J. Faith Malicdem

After spending weeks rallying emails back and forth to find a time to sit down and talk via Zoom, Shanice graciously agreed to send her answers over to me, despite us both seeking a more personal approach to Overachiever’s very first slow fashion series interview. Shanice’s blog, ever so slow, is a versatile beacon of light in a flurry of internet picture-perfect-eco-friendly schemes, as she prioritizes challenging all aspects of transparency and sustainability: from fashion to food consumption to major lifestyle changes. ever so slow is a collective journey, offering not only Shanice’s vulnerability and drive but also an exhaustive list of direct resources for anyone willing to come along.

Introduce yourself!

Hi! I’m Shanice. I’m the blogger behind ever so slow. I mostly share about sustainable and slow fashion and living. And I’m starting to incorporate intersectionality in sustainability.

How did you become drawn to and aware of sustainability, particularly sustainable fashion?

My love for fashion came from my mom. Plus, most of my family are sewers, so I learned to sew at seven years old. As I grew older, I researched more about the fashion industry and discovered its bad side. Then I stumbled upon the True Cost documentary, and that was it. Something in me couldn’t continue to shop guilt-free from my used-to-be favourite fast fashion stores, considering what I knew.

How and why did you transition into more sustainable living and slow fashion consumerism?

I have always shopped secondhand and vintage.

So I was able to shift from fast fashion to secondhand fashion probably more easily than others who haven’t beforehand. It was definitely a journey, something I am still going through as I continue to learn. As I learned more about the value of items rather than the cost, I started investing in sustainable pieces and shopping less. This is, of course, a privilege that I acknowledge that I have and am able to do. I think sustainability is not something that you can buy, it’s a way of life.

So I decided to transition simply because it’s important and needs to be done.

There have been memes and tweets circulating about how Asian households have always

encouraged sustainable living by reusing single-use plastics, etc. even though white people have become the face of sustainability and slow fashion in recent years. Do you find this to be true for you?

100%. I can’t speak for all Asians, but my family was definitely reusing everything that they can, plastic bags, take-out containers, even paper towels. That doesn’t mean that we don’t contribute to other environmental or sustainability damages. There’s always improvement to be done. As for the face of sustainability, it’s no surprise. We live in a society where the narrative of the White Savior is still alive and well, which is quite ironic as the Global North is responsible for most of the damage.

Beyond living sustainably, what other environmentally-friendly actions have you taken, and what else do you encourage others to do to help care for the earth?

Getting political. We can do so much with our individual actions, but we also need collective action. We need governmental and corporate action. Voting is one thing that we can do; another is contacting local representatives, signing petitions, support and volunteer/work for organizations who are trying to advocate for a better planet.

While it is impactful to be mindful and sustainable consumers, there is no doubt that major corporations and factories are the main sources of pollution, worker exploitation, and climate change. How do you think everyday folks can stay motivated to consume, reuse, and dispose of waste responsibility despite how hopeless this

fact may seem?

Honestly, it’s tough. You need to find it within yourself to take action. Be open-minded and see what you can do. I am a big believer in individual action on a collective level. As I’ve mentioned, there’s also a lot more that you can do, like getting political. The system is connected with three important stakeholders: businesses, the government and citizens. You do have power and influence to lead change and have an impact. Don’t underestimate your voice!

What are your thoughts on the inaccessibility of slow fashion with how expensive sustainably-made clothing can be? How can we combat this and work around it?

I think that this is true. Slow and sustainable fashion is not accessible to everyone right now. And asking people to simply change their life and habits is not as black and white. For those who can afford to do so, continue to do so and encourage those who can to do so. However, I believe the solution is systemic change.

While thrift shopping is a good method of consuming sustainably at a low cost, what do you suggest folks do to ensure they don’t strip low-income and homeless people of the opportunity to buy clothing they need?

If you can afford to do so, support sustainable businesses instead, and invest in pieces that you love. You can also swap, rent, or buy on secondhand C2C marketplace apps like @depop or @ vinted. Ultimately, I think people need to focus more on reducing their consumption than shifting their old fast fashion habits to thrift shopping.

I’m currently writing a series about the effects of fast fashion on female garment workers in Asia for Overachiever Magazine in order to help highlight the implications of fast fashion and

Photo Credit: eversoslow.com

capitalism, and I’ve found that not many people are aware of the women who labor away for inhumane pay and in unsafe conditions in order to put clothes on our backs. Throughout your sustainable fashion journey, what is something you’ve learned that you had never considered before in regards to the implications of fast fashion?

Probably how it’s connected to so many issues in the world, contributing to this oppressive system. It’s that intersectionality that includes the environment, race, culture, LGBTQ+, women’s, and basic human rights.

Do you have any final thoughts on sustainability and slow fashion you’d like to share? Any tips?

Remember that you cannot buy your way into sustainability. You can start small and progressively make bigger changes or change drastically, going from 0 to 100, whichever works for you.

It’s a journey, so don’t be discouraged. Always be open to learning (and unlearning)! I find it helpful and motivating to follow people sharing about or resources relating to sustainability and slow fashion and living.

“I believe the solution is systemic change.”

Equinox by Kari VanderLaan Harvest bee, Queen.

Bramble-soaked with ripe, rich felicity.

Cloudless in your arrivals.

Lend me a whisper of your passage.

An Interview with

Cait Khosla Written By Kate Anderson-Song

Cait Khosla is the founder and CEO of Botany Box - a company created in 2018 with one goal: to make it easier to bring green life indoors. She is an expert in horticulture, social platforms, and digital marketing. After graduating from Roanoke College in 2015 with a BA in psychology and communications, she began her career in strategic social media marketing at venture backed startups before founding Botany Box. After moving to NYC, she started to grow Botany Box and was inspired to find a resolution for reasonably priced plants that anyone can keep to inspire them to grow their green thumb. With her recent move to LA, she is working to expand operations in proximity to plant distributors, launch additional merchandise, houseplants, and more. And she continues to host virtual plant workshops in both NYC and LA communities through corporate partnerships!

Introduce yourself!

My name is Cait, I’m 27 and a new resident of Santa Monica, CA! I’m an expert in horticulture, social media and have a strong focus in digital media marketing. Before starting Botany Box, I began my career in strategic social media marketing at venture backed startups. After moving to NYC, I began to grow Botany Box and was inspired to find a resolution for reasonably priced plants that anyone can keep to motivate them to grow their green thumb. In 2020, I will be expanding all around California, where I’m in proximity to my plant distributors, and launching additional merchandise, box options and more!

Introduce Botany Box - what is your mission and how did you begin?

I created Botany Box so everyone can easily have & care for their own collection of plants delivered to their doorstep, repotted and ready to give your indoor space that pop of energy and color. When I moved to NYC back in 2017, the idea for Botany Box really took off. I realized I couldn’t build my own green oasis in my apartment without it costing me an arm and a leg. It was so frustrating going plant shopping and coming home with a $13 succulent, so I decided to get serious about creating a solution to a problem. My mom actually named the company Botany Box, which was so sentimental, because she grew my love for plants at a really young age. Starting this company gave me a little peace; it was like I was in my front yard again with my mom growing the garden as we always did.

How have you all adapted to life during the COVID-19 pandemic? How is life at home? How has running your company changed during this time?

Honestly, unpopular opinion, but working from home during COVID instilled a little more of a routine and organization into my life. Living in NYC is always go, go, go. I never slowed down to reap the benefits of my work, or acknowledge any mistakes I could be improving on. Running Botany Box at home has only given me the ability to save money, slow down, and really focus on what the company needs.

What would you say is your biggest accomplishment? Personally and work-wise?

Personally, a big accomplishment was building my social presence on Botany Box. I really enjoyed creating a community there, and interacting with people all day (and honestly people all over the world).

It built the confidence in me to launch products for Botany Box that people would actually be interested in. Work-wise: I just created my 2nd LLC (Botany Box is LLC’d) and now my name is, too. I’m an independent contractor and I’m really proud to say I work for myself and for some incredible female entrepreneurs helping their social strategy and content planning.

What does self care mean to you? How do you take care of yourself?

Self-care is SO important, and highly underrated.

I really enjoy journaling. After work I usually watch some sort of mindless show (helllllo Bravo TV) and end with either journaling my thoughts of the day, what frustrated me, what made me happy and things I wanted to remember. I find it to be relaxing and a sort-of “brain-dump”. Additionally, since COVID I’ve been reading WAY more than I ever have before, I didn’t realize how therapeutic reading could be!

Who inspires you? Do you have any role-models in your lives?

People who support my professional growth are my family, my closest friends, my boyfriend, my cowork-

ers (old and new), my business partner (Vonn) and my two incredible managers who work with me on PR, brand partnerships and messaging, Taara and Hannah!

The most important city question: what is your go-to coffee shop order?

SUCH a good question, I try not to drink coffee (I know, crazy) but if I go to Starbucks I get the strawberry acai refresher (it actually has more caffeine in it) How does your cultural identity & heritage influence you & your business?

As a female founder, and a bi-racial POC, I want to attack two current problems. 1.

Being a bi-racial POC in a DTC plant company is - for the most part - non-existent.

I wanted to embody that and showcase it as much as possible, and it’s important for other Asian American women to see that it can be done (at such a young age). 2.

Being a female, in Indian culture, running your own business is again - pretty rare, although very up and coming and exciting to see!

What do you think are the biggest issues Asian American women face today?

I think racial bias is huge, not only do we have a ‘disadvantage’ in the eyes of powerful (probably, perhaps, white men) because we are women - we are also largely overlooked and ignored and face discrimination because of our race. Being taken seriously in business meetings, pitches or any type of brand promotion to other companies has always been a struggle, either because of my ethnicity, age or gender.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Honestly, it’s something I’m still telling myself right now. Everything does NOT have to execute perfectly. You don’t have to have everything done right the first time. If we didn’t understand how to persevere as a human race, we probably would have given up when we were all learning to walk, right? I wish I told myself sooner that everything didn’t need to be done right now, in the moment, or else it wasn’t going to be a success. Another big thing is that you have to stop everything else you’re doing to start a business. While it’s no walk in the park working with my clients and running Botany Box, I think it’s a common misconception that you can’t do both and you have to commit to one.

What is next for you & for Botany Box? There are SO many exciting plans we have for 2020. First, we’re launching new Botany Box options to give people variety. This was first on my to-do list and we’re almost done and ready to go! People will be able to shop for plants, tote bags, enamel pins, and more! Another big goal for 2020 will be launching a newsletter, I want it to relate to more than just plants, and focus on sustainability/ eco-friendly products and brands (which I’m passionate about).

On Taking A Leave by Shinjini Dey You should be working, but you’re on the tide, skinned by a desire — or the particular landscape of a desire and its branding like a blow the imperative on and out through your front teeth a whistling, a holler, a cat-call from a jeep passing so fast you’d feel remiss mistaking the vernacular of the horn and the abuse; and not still the accident of absences You ask what disappearance is even possible in this world?

An electric bag held between two poles, zipping a flow here and a current there a dead crow eating one alive cut throat saturation They say you’re going to go places, but you’re not there yet zipping a flow here and a current there—the here, the there a placeholder pity You could name it all if you tried, promethean gift of man a place to belong between a rock and a hard place the adamantine but/for logos, a logo.

Artist: Rachael IG: @rachaelcathyc Piece: “Eyes�

Medium: Graphite and colored pencil on Bristol paper (9 x 12 inches)

An Interview with

Veena Ramaswamy Written By Kate Anderson-Song Veena is an ambitious, passionate, and career-oriented woman who did her undergrad in Economics at Rutgers and Masters in IT and Data Analytics at Boston University. She is currently working as a Data Analyst at a South Asian startup called Brown Girl Magazine.

Apart from career, she’s been working on a few side hustles in her free time. She is a huge supporter of women empowerment and believes that women should showcase their talents at all times and strive to be successful in their career and in other areas in life by standing up for themselves, voicing their knowledge, and introducing new innovative ideas to the table.

She focuses on leadership development and is currently a Global Community Director and Founding Member for WomenTech Network.

She will be launching her very first book called Beyoutifully Empower in December 2020. She is a life & career coach and founder of Beyoutifully Empower which is her coaching business where she would like to inspire women to become the best possible version of themselves through personal, career, and leadership development.

She is a lifestyle and travel blogger at Beyoutiful, where she writes about fashion, beauty, travel and share her own portfolio showcasing talents of photography, poetry, DIY, etc. She is a published writer and have published poems and articles on popular literary magazines and companies such as BGM, Simply Woman Magazine, and Thrive Global.

Introduce yourself!

Hi lovelies! My name is Veena, and I’m currently a data analyst at Brown Girl Magazine. I’m a dreamer and a doer—a tech leader, keynote speaker, award-winning blogger and photographer, artist, aspiring entrepreneur, forthcoming author, and much more!

You lead a truly multifaceted life, with your work spanning across tech, business, and the arts. Can you explain your involvement in each of these fields?

Tech: I currently work as a Data Analyst at a South Asian startup called Brown Girl Magazine which unites thousands of women and men globally and empowers them to break the glass ceiling and spread awareness through the power of storytelling. As a data analyst, I have 1+ years of industry knowledge manipulating and analyzing digital data, generating actionable insights, and improving business optimization through Web Analytics & Strategic Marketing. I aspire to become a Data Scientist at a large tech company in the future.

One of my goals is to encourage women to break the gender stereotypes and give them the moral support that they are capable of becoming a future excellent female leader. Their identity, creativity, perspectives, etc. are all valuable to each and every company and in the world and it’s our job to make them feel heard, seen, and loved.

I would like to pave the right path for the next generation of girls to break that glass ceiling and to create change in tech sector. As a Founding Member & Global Community Director at WomenTech Network, I encourage team leaders and members of superior talent to promote the network and help the community grow. I was one of the community keynote speakers for one of the largest WTN global tech conferences among 200 speakers and 3K women in tech.

Women in Business: I’m a life & career coach and founder of Beyoutifully Empower which is

my coaching business where I would like to inspire women to become the best possible version of themselves, instill confidence, and motivate them to unlock their full potential through personal, career, and leadership development. My IG account is @beyoutifullyempower.

Women in Arts: I’m a forthcoming author & I will be launching my very first book called Beyoutifully Empower in December 2020. I’m also a lifestyle and travel blogger at Beyoutiful, where I write about fashion, beauty, travel and share my own portfolio showcasing talents of photography, poetry, DIY, etc. I’m a published writer and have published poems and articles on popular literary magazines and companies such as BGM, Simply Woman Magazine, and Thrive Global. I’m also an award-winning photographer & have gained recognition for my nature photography. I’m also a classically trained Indian Bharatanatyam Dancer and Carnatic Singer. I’m an artist and have had my drawings featured in various platforms.

What does it feel like to be a successful woman leader? How do you define leadership?

It just feels surreal to be a female leader in a male dominated industry. There are several amazing networks for women in tech which have done an incredible job in encouraging women to pursue careers in STEM, especially technology. I’m so honored and humbled to be part of such a strong community of inspiring women from all parts of the world in which we all worked together to make a difference and help emerging talent from diverse backgrounds to connect and learn from one another. I’m grateful to have an amazing support system who have helped me expand my network, portray my leadership skills and my passion for women empowerment. They are such amazing souls and have always cheered me on and supported me in every endeavor. They are family to me and I couldn’t have become a tech leader without them. I’m also thankful for all the friends I’ve made via networking and the mentors that have guided me to the right path to

career success.

I define leadership as empowering the people around you and motivating them to make a positive impact on the world. Leadership is not about you and it’s all about what the people want and what they’re looking for. It’s about catering to their needs and giving them the moral support and resources to make them successful personally and professionally. Women face a lot of challenges in which they are accustomed to gender stereotypes that society has created. It’s believed that women are assigned to roles in the household and are seen as the more submissive and emotional type. People have underestimated the power of a woman to become an effective leader and to level up in the workplace. Women also experience imposter syndrome in the corporate world where their opinions and ideas are ignored and judged. They are always doubtful of their potential in the workplace which makes them feel like “they are young” and “they aren’t good enough”. Because of this, they tend to hesitate to voice their opinions which hinders them from reaching their full potential. Women have to realize their competence and talent and their amalgamation of feminine and masculine qualities can make them a great leader in the workplace too. They should embrace self-love and self-acceptance and stand up for what they believe in.

Women in tech should never have to feel inadequate and should always be given equal opportunities. Women need to challenge the status quo by educating and showing society that they are capable of reaching great heights and success in tech as well as in life. It’s important for women leaders to spread awareness of women inequality in the corporate world and encourage young girls to tap into their strengths and abilities so that they can reach their full potential. We should empower girls to let their voice be heard and to stand up for what they believe in by portraying empathy, listening to what they have to say, respecting their opinions, and giving them the help that they need to become

successful. Being a leader is about showing your authenticity, being empathetic, and empowering others to make a difference in the world. There are misconceptions that you have to be “bossy” and “dominating.” In reality, you can be strong yet compassionate to become a successful leader.

What would you say is your biggest accomplishment? Personally and work-wise?

Work-wise, I’m a successful South Asian woman because as a tech influencer, I was able to connect and unite with 100K women to attend a global tech conference, get inspired, and make a positive impact by making sure their voice was heard! I was ranked #1 Global Ambassador for WTN among thousands of inspiring women. I also received immense global level recognition as Country Leader for my effort and hard work in empowering women in tech to join the network and empower each other to become successful in their professional life.I’ve also been featured and interviewed in various tech magazines and platforms such as GalTalksTech, The Moment for Women Magazine, Women in Tech Show Podcast, etc.

I would say my biggest accomplishment is being nominated for Forbes 30 Under 30 and nominated for global ambassador and speaker of the year award for the Global Awards 2020 which is going to take place December 2020. I’m also proud that I was selected as a community keynote speaker for the largest tech conferences alongside women leaders Personally, my biggest accomplishment would be that during my personal development journey, I was able to embrace my identity and culture and loved myself for who I was. I was able to overcome self-doubt, gain confidence of who I was, and came out of my comfort zone. I’m proud that after all these years of struggles, consistent dedication and determination, my hard work finally paid off. I was able to turn several of my dreams into reality.

Now, I would like to empower women and encourage everyone to accept them for who they are and eliminate any gender bias, discrimination, or ste-

reotyping at all costs. Girls should have the right to bring their true self and ideas into the world without having to feel that they are not good enough .We should break the gender stereotypes and give them the moral support that they are capable of anything they put their mind to. We should support them to have the same equal rights as men and always instill confidence in them to manifest their dreams. Girls are strong, talented, worthy of love and respect, and beautiful in every way and they have what it takes to become the person they want to be no matter what anyone says!

her way. She tells me to always ‘take it easy’, be optimistic, and to keep gaining knowledge as much as possible in life. I’ve learned how to be highly emotionally intelligent, down to earth, and self-disciplined from my grandfather. He is a gem of a person and an inspiration to many.

I’m so proud to have them as my grandparents as they are truly beautiful and genuine souls who have provided me with tremendous emotional support, constant wisdom, and endless joy. I have to say that their prayers and blessings have made me the successful woman I am today!

Who inspires you? Do you have any role-models in your life?

One of your focuses is leadership development and empowering women in tech. What advice would you give young women who are striving to grow in these paths?

Professionally, one of my role models is Indra Nooyi. Indra Nooyi has always been a huge inspiration for me. She was the CEO of Pepsi Co, a Fortune 500 company and has become one of the most valued women leaders in the tech industry, receiving the title America’s Best Leaders. She has portrayed outstanding leadership qualities and stood out from the others due to her ambitious, passionate, and open-minded personality. She is the epitome of women empowerment due to sheer dedication, confidence, and hard work. She stands out from the crowd and is an inspiration to all young women and upcoming generations. I’m proud as she represents the Female South Asian community and is ranked world’s most 100 powerful influential women. I aspire to learn from her journey and follow in her footsteps :) I watched a lot of her interviews and this quote of hers stood out: “Just because you are CEO, don’t think you have landed. You must continually increase your learning, the way you think, and the way you approach the organization. I’ve never forgotten that.” - Indra Nooyi In my personal life, my role models are my grandparents. They are truly inspiring and I feel that the person that I became today is all because of them.

I’ve learned how to be a strong, independent woman from my grandmother. She is so resilient and never gives up no matter what obstacles come

1. Speak up & Don’t hesitate at all to let your voice be heard! Be an inspiration and if you have something that you can add value to a community or organization, please take time to contribute by sharing your stories, insights, and experiences so that you can help empower others who would like to make a difference. Showcase your talents and knowledge by putting yourself out there and it’s totally ok to seek assistance if you need help with anything so that you can reach your full potential. Motivate yourself to stand out from the others because you all have worked really hard and you deserve to have your efforts be recognized and rewarded!

2. It’s also important to alter your thoughts and use the growth mindset by being open-minded.

Strive to keep learning something new every day.

Acknowledge your competence and versatility and build resilience as you work towards achieving your career aspirations. Assess what your core strengths were and take the time to develop several IT skills to become successful in the tech industry. Embrace intellectual curiosity in attaining knowledge in concepts that are new to you. Try to let go of the fear and embrace the unknown as this will foster innovation. Step out of your comfort zone and try new career paths that interest you. It’s so important to find a career

that you’re passionate about. Don’t choose something that you’re low-key interested in. So for example, within the tech industry, you have so many options to choose from: you can go into software programming, data science, cybersecurity, etc. If you don’t see yourself doing this job from 9-5 and you feel like you dread it then it’s definitely not the right one for you. Always be yourself and choose a career that works for you and jives with your personality.

What’s your go-to coffee shop order?

3. Always grab any opportunity that comes your way.

You’re never going to be 100% ready. You have to just give it a try because you never know where it might lead you. The right opportunity at the right time might be your next breakthrough. Trying and failing is better than not trying at all. Sometimes it might not work out and that’s totally fine. Just take it as a grain of salt, assess areas for improvement, and do better next time.

Authentic, Go-Getter, Passionate

Now, for some fun rapid fire questions!

Early bird or Night Owl? Early Bird

Chai Tea Latte Favorite comfort food?

Pizza and Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Icing Three words to describe you?

And finally, what is upcoming for you?

I have two things coming up: 1. I will be publishing my debut book in Dec 2020 called Beyoutifully Empower which portrays my personal self-discovery journey along with some of my tips for women & men to become the best version of themselves. I wanted to share my story how I overcame my limiting beliefs and turned my dreams into reality. I’m passionate about empowering women to believe in themselves and they are strong and talented people who have the capabilities to make their dreams come true. If I can do it, so can they!

2. I just launched my side hustle/ business: Founder of Beyoutifully Empower. I’m always striving to better myself each day and I focus a lot on self-improvement and using the growth mindset to live a purposeful life. My goal is to empower women to do the same through life coaching and guide them on how to overcome imposter syndrome, leverage confidence, and unlock their full potential. I’m hoping to take my business to the next level in 2021 by providing services such as: -Life Coaching (Success and Mindset) -Career Coaching (Career growth development) -Leadership Development

I was recently diagnosed with dyslexia. Before this, I was diagnosed with ADHD and I thought that reading would get easier after I started treating my ADHD, but reading hurt my brain just as much as before I started ADHD medication. Around 50% of children (yes, I am 20 but I will continue to consider myself a child until I am emotionally mature) with ADHD also have dyslexia. It was shocking for a second, I already decided my future will be in writing. But as I sat with this new information, I remembered my experience in elementary school.

skills. I tried so hard to level up but my reading speed and accuracy were never good enough.

I remember some things my fifth-grade teacher said to me after one of my reading tests. “It’s funny that you change the words as you read. Deena, you’re at a third-grade reading level, maybe we should practice more.” That could have been the moment I found out. I thought elementary school teachers were supposed to catch learning disabilities like dyslexia.

I spent that summer improving my reading. I read the entire Twilight series, and many other magical teenager series - not Harry Potter, I thought that was for nerds. I got to middle school with a higher reading level than most of my peers. I was so I had to take the English as a second language test proud of myself. every year from Kindergarten to second grade. It never seemed like a big deal to me when I was But I still read slowly. I kept this to myself and tried to fake readyounger. I just thought, “oh this is just because I ing quickly. Being smart is incredibly important to me and I nevknow Japanese too.” Looking back now I can see er wanted my friends to think I was bad at reading. There was that there was no reason for me to take that test. always an expectation of me to be smart, I think the “Asians are Smart” stereotype really contributed to that. I didn’t want English was actually my first language, and I knew people to think I was a broken Asian, so I never asked for help.

Japanese as well as any 4-year-old in Japan. Hon- Whenever I read things with others I had to skip sentences, estly, that’s probably insulting to 4-year-olds in paragraphs, and even whole pages just to catch up to them.

Japan. I can’t read or write in Japanese and my When we discussed I normally just stayed quiet until I could vocabulary was straight up poopoo. I was born pick up enough of the content I missed to join the conversation. in Rosemead, California. My father’s side of the I barely read anything I was ever assigned. If you saw my grades family had been in the US for 3 generations be- you would never believe me but somehow I found ways to cope fore me - and this school still had the audacity to with my undiagnosed learning disability. make me take this test.

I’m glad I know now. I didn’t think racism really affected me I couldn’t pass it for three years. English was my as much, especially because I lived in the Bay Area where the first language, I was just dyslexic. I was so dyslex- Asian/American population was booming. Now that I am an ic the school’s mistake went unnoticed, and the Asian American Studies major, I understand that there are so school’s mistake led me to believe that I didn’t many small and big subtle ways that racism and stereotyping have dyslexia. I barely even knew what dyslexia have affected me and many others like me. I guess I thought the worst things I had to encounter were weird white men with was.

I was consistently in the lowest reading level, and yellow fever. I guess the US school system was pulling a racism I became incredibly insecure about my reading on me as well. Jokes on those hoes because I got into UCSB, which is a great school (though I have many issues with how they choose to spend my tuition money). Although I did get into a top 10 public school in the US, that doesn’t excuse the racism I had to endure throughout my education. I developed anxiety and depression, I had panic attacks when I thought everyone would eventually realize that I wasn’t like them, that I wasn’t actually as smart as them. I should have been given more resources to support my differences.

I’m Dyslexic, Not Foreign

By Deena Umeda

I was right about being different but I was wrong to think that it made me defective. Especially because I am an incredibly intelligent person, and I am so glad that I can confidently say that now.

female gaze female gaze female gaze female gaze female gaze female gaze female

“Hello! My name is Tia Moua and I am a 19 year old Hmong-American from Washington State. I am very passionate about Asian-American activism and social justice work. I am currently planning on majoring in Communication Studies and International Relations. I enjoy dancing, playing “Among Us,” and reading.I currently work for the Asian Pacific Islander Coalition-Spokane (APIC-Spokane). We work to promote voting and civic engagement among Asians and Pacific Islanders. Fun facts about me: I have five siblings, I can’t whistle, and I got lost in Disneyland twice. Also, I was Miss Washington’s Outstanding Teen 2017 and the first Hmong-American state title holder in the Miss America organization.”

J a c k of all Tr a d e s Written

By

Kitty

Agbaglud

Several unfinished drafts of untitled documents waiting in the drive. A library of books all earmarked at varying degrees of doneness from the end. Multitudes of notes left to transcribe; from audio to analog or analog to digital, all sitting in the in-between of understandable and utter nonsense. Which brings us to now. Welcome to the latest entry in the catalogued catacombs of my creative productivity. I remember reading about the legendary polymaths of the past, enamored of their masterful command and understanding of the world around them and wishing in my tender years to one day be one of those greats. I taught myself basic French at four, and memorized Hamlet’s legendary soliloquy at 6 alongside Samuel L. Jackson’s iconic Ezekiel 25:17 speech in Pulp Fiction. In elementary school, I participated in Talented and Gifted courses which gave way to advanced placement classes all throughout high school. I took the SAT in 7th grade to secure a spot with Johns Hopkins’ Center for Talented Youth summer program and passed, spending the summers of my adolescence from 1216 in the haze of Baltimore’s heat so I could take college courses with other precocious peers in a span of three weeks what would have usually taken a semester. I had a promising future ahead of me, they said. So what became of all that work?

Well, as the only daughter and first born grandchild of a Filipino-American family, the pressures of my single mother’s aca-

demic investments were not lost on me. However, all the steam that pushed my engine out of the station would eventually derail me from its tracks. I hit senior year of high school and assumed that my lackadaisical attitude towards academia was merely a symptom of the so-called Senioritis that the rest of my cohort at the time were experiencing. Our AP exams were behind us, our colleges had already accepted us, and we were about to be home free. Quite literally. Despite the stone’s throw move from one Brunswick to another, I knew I would be in a dorm come September so what was the point of putting in any more effort? I loved my English classes but felt my interests wane in most others outside of Psychology - the subject I would eventually major in. I felt my energies focus elsewhere and as my studies had shown me, to the next stage of my development - identity.

I became the social savant that years of strict isolation spent honing my academic prowess never would have allowed. Surrounded by a large group of friends and a boyfriend by my side, I was climbing towards the peak of all the life experiences I had only dreamed of when I was under my mother’s roof. The peers in my courses were writing and discussing material at a level I found myself content to coast with. Unchallenged and disinterested, there seemed no reason to invest any more time than the bare minimum in anything those classes held for me. After all, I had read through the same books when I was in middle school. Untethered by any obligations to please anyone but myself and the ones I loved most, the future seemed limitless.

Then

Joe

died.

Joe was my best friend. Her life inspired mine. She was my sister, my teacher, my muse. Her fearless embrace of life’s unpredictability and her contributions to it pushed me out of the comforts of my own reservations. Suddenly, the world turned grey.

Simple tasks turned insurmountable. Schoolwork once again became a struggle but not in the familiar engaging way. Every task seemed to flood the valleys that I had made in my grief and came to drown me in them. What is work worth when the salt mines of life have dried up leaving the land desolate? What joy could be had in any success if she was not there with me to share it?

And

yet

the

world

continued

to

turn.

How cruel it felt to see the flowers come into bloom and buds in the magnolia trees on the day of her wake. The sun shined on Baltimore, illuminating every blade and bush in its light but even its touch on my skin felt a cold mockery of her memory; as if anything could come close to mimicking the magnitude of her warmth. The cacophony of sounds following her death all fell flat or struck too sharp a chord knowing her hands were no longer there to make it music. Without her brush strokes to strike color, the world’s palette became a wash of blue and grey. Words were lost, bore

no meter or tempo, no flow or flourish; merely garbled letters on a page without her guidance to create poetry.

Time marched on and the seasons changed from a cold spring to heady summer but I was stuck in the same place.

Whatever dreams I had before her passing I could not recall, they all seemed beyond me. All she ever wanted was to experience each moment of life unadulterated, marvel at all of the world’s wonder, and use every part of her being to bring beauty into creation. But she was gone and so too I thought were those dreams. How could I think I could ever accomplish anything to match what she would have made? Why should I? In the first summer without her, the initial shock of pain dulled into a numb existence. The ties between myself and my family became tense as I opted to move into an apartment with my friends. And even though there was a new world of freedom open to me, any opportunity to progress myself knowing Joe could not, consumed me with guilt as I saw myself a bastard for disrespecting her memory.

That summer I divorced myself from any real commitments to the halls of academia. Anything I would devote my time to would be to honor the promises made during our friendship.

I always dreamed of bartending and so I took on a job at a dive in town, thinking back on all the drinks I promised to one day make her. The place was dilapidated. There were holes in the floors, shelves that bowed under the weight of their dusty bottles, and the lingering stench of cat piss that permeated the air. I felt at home with the depressing surroundings. One could tell that at one point, there was life here. The mirth and laughter of close friends once filled the booths at a time when they too were new. The kitchen, though closed now, must have been open before to fill the hungry bellies of rosy cheeked scholars following a long day of classes. A stage now forlorn and forgotten behind two off-level pool tables must have hosted local bands excited to play for the first time outside of a basement that only served cups of wine from large jugs and one kind of kegged beer. I felt resigned to spend the rest of my life working in this shadow until I, too, would hit the twilight of my service and fade away.

Strangely, between the exploding taps and dingy bar rags, I found joy again. Things there seemed to rely more so on intuition and reflex than the rogue memorization and hours of study of any previous undertakings. The experience was new and refreshing, a break from the web of academic drudgery and anesthetized existence I was caught within.

I began to realize this was the freedom Joe felt when she was lost in a flurried vision of creation. Spurned by the truly limitless, genuine spirit of inspiration, this was the root of

her song, her paintings, her prose. I had taken up so much time focusing on her absence that I lost sight of her presence, and how that could never truly leave as long as I kept her alive.

In a similar vein to the net she’d cast, her passions widespread from music to film, analyzing art and politics, innovation in all its forms, I found myself inspired again. Her life, as it always had, continued to push the comforts of my own.

Through the annals of old recipes and bar room technique, I reacquainted myself with history.

I wrote feminist theses on the often overlooked female presence in taverns and saloons. The international effect of Prohibition and later US imperial presence in the Pacific called into question my own complacency in the bartending traditions and figureheads I had once held in esteem. The chemistry of water soluble whiskey molecules and temperature’s effect on taste drew me in to in-depth discussions of service quality and practice. The ethical implications and cultural context of ingredient sourcing and nomenclature became the subject of many heated debates.

In trying to make sense of life’s uncertainty, I felt the fugue of burnout chasing the unattainable summits of understanding. Only when my compulsion to work became spurned by genuine purpose did my narrow vision expand into lands of previously unimaginable opportunity. In putting the pressures of success and productivity to rest was I able to understand that a sense of community is truly what’s worth investing in. It’s what gives me peace amongst a sea of unfinished books and writings, fledgling recipes ready to be developed. I know what my work is worth as I am a jack of all trades, and a master of none.

Confessions of an Overachiever

By Katrina Romero Tran

It was a room full of about twenty new grad students, and I was but one of two Asians in it. In retrospect there was nothing wrong with this, but at the time I couldn’t help but feel a despairing sense of imposter syndrome: I couldn’t help but question if I belonged there, if I was in over my head, and if I needed to “stay in my lane” and be happy what how things were.

But the truth is, the status quo hasn’t really ever been my style. As a child, I was taught to believe I had it in me to achieve; hours of forced listening to my Dad’s motivational tapes as he drove my siblings and me during family trips and to errands somehow bore into my mind that I was capable, I could do it, I could succeed. And as much as I tried to fight those droning words when I was younger, they seem to have become a part of who I am (thanks, Dad). As I’ve gotten older, it’s become more of a personal goal to venture outside of the norm, whether it meant to not doggedly pursuing procreation, not hanging around for hours to endlessly shoot the breeze when I knew deep down that there was something I had to do, someone different I wanted to be.

If anything has motivated me these days, it’s been to work toward being a person who can help champion others to reach that next level, through my roles as a teacher, as a mentor, as a daughter, sister, and wife. And as scary as it is to move forward and chart the unknown, deep down in my soul I know that I am meant for something more, that the “norm” is nothing I want to be.

Fading away are the days of me following the crowd because “he did it” or because “she said so.” Spending so much of my childhood and adolescence chasing down the pipe dreams of others and never feeling I was enough only left me feeling unfulfilled, a sorry piece of the predisposed rat race that I believed I had to be a part of. My pursuit of attaining a different vision has at times been even uncharted, even lonely at times, but it’s nothing that I don’t embrace when I keep the big picture in mind.

For the dissenters, I may probably come off as some-

one who doesn’t know how to shut off, and I think I’ve heard it all: “You’re going to school again?”, “But everyone else your age is buying a house,” or “You just need to have a kid.” Truth be told, those thoughts are meant with good intentions but are often hurtful, and at the end of the day they’ll only make me work harder toward fulfilling my goals.

Of course, it’s not like I don’t know how to relax: whether it means limiting social media to focus on my own life or carving out free time to travel and spend time with loved ones, I know what the important things are in my life and try my darndest to prioritize. And at the end of the day, I have to remember that there is a difference between doing busy work and working toward a goal.

Knowing who I am, where I came from, and where I want to be makes it even more important to achieve: at the end of the day, if I can help even one person realize that goals can be grasped and that we are worth who we set out to be, then I have done exactly what I set out to do. Call this the pursuit of the hustle, call me an overachiever, but experience has taught me to appreciate that time is of the essence, that life is limited, that I live each day exactly once and that I better be damn sure I take advantage of it.

I have never realized myself as particularly competent. In grade school, I consistently achieved good grades and was placed into gifted education programs. But I wasn’t some sort of prodigy - I liked to read and had a photographic memory. This didn’t make me smart, it made me lucky. So I coasted through the UK and US public education systems on luck and on guilt that I didn’t work as hard as some of my classmates.

When I began my first job after college, I was surrounded by colleagues who I deemed far smarter, far better, far more credible than myself. My company was full of people with advanced degrees, fluency in multiple languages, and a wealth of international experience. I knew it was due to my luck that I obtained a space amongst such smart people. I felt that it was unfair on their behalf that I too was now a part of them, when I was nothing in comparison to them.

I was an imposter.

All standards are constructed, and while I am capable of appropriating different standards for differ-

is a waste of time.

And so I have always understood my actions as average. To be clear, this isn’t the result of an unbearably restrictive upbringing or tiger parentage.

My household simply unintentionally set a different standard than others. I say unintentionally because my parents, while for the most part supportive, have never been ones for open praise, my mother least of all so - hers was the stronger personality, so she set the tone for the entire household. There was a notable lack of verbal praise for our achievements, whether academic, athletic, or otherwise. A nonchalant acknowledgement of ‘you did a thing’, coupled with the ever-present unspoken expectation that the action should be repeatedly accomplished or you were less than. Unless I did something visibly noteworthy - something that came with frills, such as an exclusive winners’ event or awards ceremony - there was no need for them to supply recognition. My parents needed more than a plastic medal or trophy to validate our achievements, they needed the compliments and

On Imposter Syndrome

By Tasia Matthews

ent people and contexts, this is not something that I have thus far found success in applying to myself. I am constantly holding myself to a single high standard, one that is unchanging and unsustainable.

This necessitates a fair amount of open acknowledgement from others for me to comprehend that something I have done is worthy of praise, that it is better, that it is a good thing. I seem to require (if not crave) tangible words of affirmation from other people to recognize that my own work is good and not simply the bare minimum. It took over a year for me to stop feeling like an imposter every time I walked through the office entrance - but it is only due to having an attentive, encouraging manager and a nurturing company culture that I now consider myself a good employee. Before, I was simply a standard one.

This feeling extends to multiple facets of my life my self-esteem, romantic relationships, even hobbies that I pick up. Always moving forward, striving for more, striving for better, until I lose interest.

Until I burn out. I drop yet another good thing, because what I did was not good enough, therefore it

acknowledgement of strangers. Strangers whose compliments held more credibility in that passing moment than the total amalgamation of all my lifetime achievements strung together. I believe my parents naturally understand the presence of visible celebration as a required trait for a laudable action. If the action does not come with external praise or noteworthiness, then the action meant nothing. The action is simply the standard, and the standard is achievable by anybody.

Was I built this way or molded into it? Through whose lens am I always seeing my work? I am full of praise and benevolence towards the achievements of others, but I have failed to allow myself that same kindness. I must ease up on myself in this regard. This, like all things, is changing. With this recognition, I have made minor steps in the right direction and I am now capable of looking at a piece of work I have produced and feeling a small tinge of pride (most days). But it is a hard habit to break.

Work-Life Balance: The Key to Productivity

By Jesie Salcedo

As a student, plowing through assignments was my main mentality. Using sticky notes to track deadlines was my lifeline to good grades. During the height of a semester, I rarely gave myself a break, constantly cycling between school, extracurricular activities, work, eating and sleeping. Student life was a nonstop roller coaster ride, as I clung to my seat to cope with the turbulence.

Transitioning into teaching, I realized how demanding the job was in comparison to student life. Now I was responsible for the young minds under my care.

A teacher’s to do list is as bottomless as the ocean, with no end in sight. From assessments to planning lessons, to helping students manage their behaviour and emotional needs, on top of extracurricular activities, our tasks are precariously piled high like a Jenga tower.

Teaching is a tough yet rewarding job. For a while, I viewed myself solely as an educator, nothing else.

My worth clung to my job once I started my first full time position a few years earlier because my mind was consumed with education, and how to develop professionally. If I wasn’t performing well, my guilt blanketed me, suffocating my self-esteem. I was preoccupied with completing work rather than how to recuperate after a long day. A 30 minute to an hour prep would zoom by and most days I still did not make a dent. I dragged my work home all the time (I still do), and even my weekends were filled to the brim with prep work.

At the start of the pandemic, I was ending a temporary teaching position after Spring Break.

As schools abruptly shut down, I felt disoriented. Now that I was not teaching temporarily, I was at a loss of what to do with myself. The days seemed endless with little to no purpose.

Investing my time and energy solely into teaching was not productive for my mental health or my identity. I slowly had to figure out who I was beyond teaching.

--------Teachers love giving students strategies in all aspects of academic and social emotional learning. I was eager to explore strategies to endure during these unprecedented times. With more free time, I slowly found other ways to help me care for my mental health. Getting lost in a riveting book allowed me to feel present and let my imagination run free. Finding time to journal or write encouraged me to decompress, process and create. I also ran outside about three times each week for some fresh air. Even in a pandemic, connection is vital. Though my introverted self enjoyed basking in isolation, during the lockdown it felt like torture some days. To combat my loneliness, I chatted with my friends online. Other times I visited my family or partner. Some days I even dropped off goodies I baked to cheer up my loved ones. Connecting with my family, friends, and partner was crucial

in staying sane. Each of these methods were key in helping me stay balanced and grounded.

This September, I started teaching my class online. Even though a month and a half has passed since I started, it feels like three years. Virtual learning is a completely different feat with its own set of challenges. The amount of social disconnection I see from my students and the struggle to assist them worries me every day.

Assessing online student work takes extra steps, particularly when students hand assignments in either incorrectly or blank. The amount of time I spend staring at my screen to mark, prepare lessons, and establish a connection with my students and their families has also affected my physical and mental health.

Once I started teaching again early this Fall, I played around with how to balance self-care and my students.

This is a constant process to find what works best for my time and energy. I did not want to revert back to working tirelessly with little time for myself. Currently, I am experimenting with morning routines. Since the weather is starting to look like a snow globe, running outside seemed less appealing. Instead I renewed my gym membership, since there were proper established precautions and measures for COVID. Working out in the morning is my shot of energy and relieves my anxiety. I also try to incorporate some journaling to help ease my mind for the day. These strategies help relieve stress and sharpen my focus for the day’s work.

In teaching, it is common to tackle more work, particularly when we are exhausted. Teachers don’t give themselves enough credit for all they do in a day, especially with our endless task list thrashing our heads.

I set time limits for work, choosing to stop at 9:00 PM to allow for some down time and proper sleep. To manage my tasks, I list three high priority tasks, and then any smaller tasks that I can complete when I am finished. Though this is not a fool proof system, this helps me target my goals. If a task is incomplete, I constantly remind myself, what I have completed is enough. When tomorrow arrives, I can pick it up again.

Making myself feel guilty is far from productive and only leads me down a path that harms my self-esteem and efficiency.

As important as work can be, we should be cautious in how it consumes our time. In the grand scheme of life, our jobs do not define our existence, even if this is how most of our time is spent. Our jobs should not take precedence over taking care of ourselves, exploring new hobbies, and connecting with our loved ones.

Written By Mariko Sandico-Lee

Concious

Why I’m Voting in 2020: This Time, it’s Personal

consumption—the practice of questioning what we buy, how much we buy, and where we buy comes from—is deeply connected to politics.

Whether products are made by factory workers paid a fair, livable wage is political.

Whether what we buy destroys the environment and the communities living in that environment is political.

Whether large corporations are held accountable for their actions is political.

Politics touch all parts of our lives, which is why I’m voting this election cycle and taking part in MoveOn’s Your Vote Is Power campaign to get my audience of largely Asian-American conscious consumers to vote as well.

Similar to consumption practices, my identities and communities are affected by politics, which is exactly why we must vote.

One side of my family is Japanese-American and the other is Filipino-American.

My great-grandma and my grandfather were incarcerated in Japanese internment camps during World War II. My great aunt—who was interned during crucial years of her young adult life—even wrote a book called Looking Like the Enemy, explaining how harmful the experience was, how it changed her perspective, and how it affected her ability to engage with the world around her.

The internment of Japanese-Americans was a political decision.

My Filipino father and his siblings immigrated to the US when he was around 14 years old. Being minorities with limited English proficiency, it was difficult to navigate a new education system while simultaneously adjusting to the cultural differences.

When I was in college, I mentored high school students in their college application process and saw how education inequity runs much deeper than just knowing how to fill out certain forms. The needs of these students, much like my immigrant family members, were not prioritized early on in their experience in the education system. I realized that if we wanted to effectively address the issue of education access, we’re going to have to provide resources to students much earlier on— resources made available by the government.

But despite making these connections to issues I cared about—conscious consumption, identity, and education—to politics, I did not always recognize that my vote mattered.

I grew up believing that my vote wasn’t significant in a state that so reliably leans blue. But after the 2016 election, I was

shocked to see that so many Americans did not vote for Hillary Clinton. I learned then that it is important that I not only vote, but that I also help others think about voting.

And that includes people outside of my immediate community and state, which is what the Your Vote Is Power campaign allows me to do.

I know that it can be hard to feel like your vote matters, especially in a world with voter suppression that unfairly targets Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) communities.

But as I look into voting patterns for Asian-American/Pacific Islanders specifically, I feel strongly that our votes are important. In my home state of Washington, the population of eligible Asian-American voters has grown significantly in a short amount of time, meaning our share of the electorate is growing and can make a big difference.

It isn’t just the pattern for my state, but for many battleground states as well.

This election cycle, I’ll be voting for Joe Biden because we cannot wait another four years to get rid of Donald Trump. Too much is at stake right now for myself and for so many others. Trump’s administration has made me concerned for the health of our planet, for the future of the Supreme Court, and for the safety and rights of my queer and BIPOC friends. This election is personal, but it is also communal. And we, as a community, all need to vote.

––– People like Mariko are committed to ensuring that injustice is no longer the norm.

We must elect officials who won’t stall and who won’t put the lives and livelihoods of millions in danger. Make sure you are registered to vote. Make sure you know how to vote by mail. And make sure you mobilize others to vote as well. Together, we’ll create a better tomorrow.

“Knowing who I am, where I came from, and where I want to be makes it even more important to achieve,�

-Katrina Romero Tran

Don’t Let “Rise and Grind” Be Your Default: My Experience and A Realization

By Rianca Argenal

Hustle. The Grind. Work hard, play later. There’s only so much time in a day. If you aren’t doing something right now, you’re lazy; get up and WORK. Although I cannot speak for everyone, this is a mentality that rages in my mind; it nags at the back of my brain whenever I’m on Youtube, watching a cute bunny eating carrots. This is a mentality that is prevalent among my peers, as they talk to me about their busy lives, full of school and clubs and homework and their personal lives. This is a mentality that my parents encourage me to have, to work because that’s the “100% guaranteed” route to success (but there’s no refund). This is the mentality that many rappers, athletes, and wannabe Instagram entrepreneurs preach about. Hustle culture: it doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong about it until you’re experiencing it.

To be more specific, hustle culture is working at your limit with no breaks, everyday, because each second you “waste”, that’s one less opportunity to be successful. Even as a five year old, I couldn’t watch Dora the Explorer or PBS Kids until I finished my addition and subtraction worksheets. I couldn’t sleep until I recited all of my multiplication tables to my dad with no mistakes. I couldn’t play computer games until I spelled out each of my vocabulary words correctly, and if I misspelled a word, I would have to rewrite it 10 times. These childhood experiences shaped me into a girl with audacious dreams and a strong work ethic. But with a fiery desire to grind, comes with a lot of stress and exhaustion.

In my own experience, hustle culture coupled with a fixed mindset is a match made in the burning depths of hell. Every week day, I grind and work, with a designated time in my day to worry about my future, knowing that I’ll be the next victim of college admissions (and then I grind and work after that).

But, when I make a mistake, or when something

goes wrong, then my entire schedule is messed up because I didn’t have a designated time to cry about my failures as a high school student. During the week, when work piles up, I wait for the weekend to come so I can get into full grind mode. But then the weekend comes and I lay in bed, on my phone, burnt out from the week, thinking, “I have the whole day, I can do my work later.” Then, the end of day suddenly comes, and a wave of guilt drowns me when I realize I wrote one sentence for my essay. Then, the cycle continues.

Even just doing things that I enjoy, like hanging out with my friends, or exercising, seems like a waste of time because I feel like I should be working ahead in my classes instead. Despite knowing that I’m hard on myself even while working, I still give in to this destructive habit because I don’t really know how to do anything else. I scoff at myself after dreaming about the person that I really want to be because if I’m not working towards my dreams, what and who am I really working for? Why do I give my all to everything if it doesn’t contribute to my true aspirations? And why do I get so scared even as I work towards my dream?

Balance is key. Hustle culture has led me and many others to believe that even relaxing is a waste of time. While it’s great to have a strong work ethic, we need to acknowledge that losing oneself to work and labor is simply unhealthy, and feeds into the greedy mouths of capitalism, because those mouths are hungry for profit, not about anyone’s well-being. With this, I wish that I am able to find a middle ground between working hard for other entities and working hard for myself. In essence, I shall follow the lyrics of BTS’ “Dope”: “Every day is hustle life/I gotta make it,” but I’ll make sure to designate (multiple) times for breaks and bunny videos.

The Ivory Tower Was Never Built for Us

By Olivia Lee

‘Study hard, and go far in life. An education will open doors for you’. These words of wisdom were instilled in me as a young girl in Malaysia - and I thrived in school because I simply loved learning. We were not wealthy, but my parents sacrificed a lot to give my sisters and I the best education they could afford; and for us it included ONE chance for each of us to study overseas. “You can study whatever you want” my dad told me, “but you have to see it through - because we can only afford one chance for your degree.” Given my capacity to consistently generate top grades, and the unwavering family support, I felt well-prepared to go to university in the United States.

My first educational experience in the US as an undergraduate in Hawaii was empowering. Great faculty introduced me to the thrill of discovery in marine biology research, and I was hooked. I graduated early and was eager to continue into grad school, determined not to stop until I achieved the pinnacle of academic honors - a PhD. By this time I had exhausted my family’s financial support for my education, and my graduate degree had to be self-funded. But the land of opportunity holds doors open for those willing to work for it. I worked three jobs during my undergraduate degree, and held a teaching assistantship position during graduate school to support myself. I was conducting research, presenting at conferences, writing proposals for travel

grants, teaching, and churning through all the academic assignments like I truly belonged in academia. My productivity fueled this belief that I belonged here amongst the scientists and professors, even as I recognized how few tenured professors looked like me.

While my upbringing of a strong academic emphasis helped me power through academic work, there was also the underlying culture of respect for your elders, and conforming for the sake of the common good that was about to make my life in academia much more challenging.

Culture in Academia has changed very little in the last century. Productivity is measured primarily in the number and prestige of peer review publications generated. Without them, you simply cannot compete for the limited tenure track positions out there. In theory the peer review process is there to ensure that research has the rigor to stand as a valid contribution to science, but in practice I found the blind peer review process tended to embolden reviewers to act as gatekeepers, and often unfairly so. As a post-doc, I delved into Interdisciplinary research on Arctic Change and my manuscripts would inevitably end up getting sent to the small pool of experts, whose systemic rejection of new methodologies I used perpetuated the “gatekeeping” role of those in positions of privilege. It was hard at first to think that a respected senior scientist would be

so critical of my work, and it was easy to start to doubt my place as faculty in academia.

But the moment I read a reviewer’s comment in which he assumed I was ‘just a student who needed to work more with her male mentors’, I knew that the bias ran deeper. My cultural background at first made it hard for me to stand up to a senior scientist, because it simply seemed disrespectful. I could no more argue with a senior researcher than I could talk back to my parents. I also didn’t want to get a reputation for being difficult to work with - and so I perpetuated the role of being compliant, more easily dismissed, perhaps the stereotype of an Asian woman knowing her place.

But I am a descendent of strong women - women who have survived world wars, raised families on their own under tragic circumstances, and ran businesses during a time when women were expected to stay home. I believe those women must have shared their fire with me. I’ve since learned how to find my own support group of peers and mentors in academia, and learned how to stand up for myself to reviewers and editors.

Yes, I still get rejected a lot, but in those instances I am reasonably confident it’s not grounded in a biased view against me as a person. I’ve taken the road less traveled by pivoting my productive output to include serving in roles that don’t always generate new papers. I know how the game is played in academia, and it’s not friendly to women or minorities. This would explain why so few of us stay in academia long enough to progress through the ranks, and that’s a shame because we need that representation.

I’ve since heard of so many toxic experiences in academia which is strongly rooted in the powerful patriarchal structures of the ivory tower. I concede that the option to leave academia can sometimes feel overwhelming, but for now I will continue to fight the stereotype of being too submissive. And I will find allies to help me slowly dismantle the ugly power structures of this ivory tower brick by brick.

STU(DYING) against P

By Cindy Hsieh

I am an anxious person. Even ordering food at Chipotle gives me anxiety. Therefore, I have always used this anxiety as a force that propels me forward to be productive. The more work I do, the less anxious future Cindy will feel.

The big thing with motivation is that it’s an extremely unreliable means to help with productivity. Motivation comes and goes. It’s only through hard work that good results come and then motivation follows.

It’s the last part of the feedback cycle that pushes you further into working hard. However, it’s a lousy means to start the process of this productivity cycle.

Coincidentally enough, I am writing this article as I take a breather from getting work done.

Here are my productivity tricks: Use the Pomodoro method.

Many people swear by the Pomodoro Technique as being the ultimate time management technique. It was developed in the late 1980s by a university student named Francesco Cirillo, who was struggling to maintain focus and complete his assignments. Feeling overwhelmed, he found a tomato (pomodoro in italian) timer and set it to 10 minutes - during which he would give 100% of his focus to. This is when the Pomodoro technique was born.

Essentially you set aside a chunk of time (standard slots of time are 25/45/60 min) where you focus purely on the work in front of you.

Then you take a short break (normally 5/10/15 min).

You repeat until you reach about 4/5/6 sessions and give yourself a slightly longer break.

The purpose of the method is to help give yourself time to relax and prevent burnout. It also makes the work you need to accomplish feel less of a burden because it’s spaced out between set breaks.

Just start the timer.

I find that staying productive is often a lot easier than starting off productive work. Normally, if I count down from 10 and “trick” myself that I will just need to concentrate for 10 minutes, I end up in a pretty productive mentality. The hard part is starting, and the best remedy for this is a simple countdown and then just hitting the start button. For some reason, once our brains register that work is beginning they usually follow through with the task for longer than we expect.

Work with others.

This concept is pretty self explanatory. It’s why people like going to cafes or libraries to study.

The act of seeing other people work can push you to work harder. I always feel the urge to study when I see someone else studying. However, given the safety precautions we need to take nowadays, going out to study is a bit more impractical, if not impossible. This is where I recommend forming virtual study groups that fit your studying needs. I would say that there are two main

Productivity types of workers: those who like to talk and work directly with others, and those who like the presence of others with peace and quiet. I tend to fall in the latter category. If you have friends you want to work with, forming a video chat study session can be immensely helpful. If you aren’t able to schedule this with your friends, there are plenty of “study with me” streams on YouTube that you can peruse and use for the same effect. It may seem weird at first, but I promise it’s very helpful. Humans are visual creatures after all. Seeing is believing!

Find small treats or incentives to work hard.

It always helps to have something to look forward to after you complete a task. Therefore, giving yourself a “treat” after you are done studying or doing work for X amount of time can be beneficial. It can range from something as small as a piece of chocolate to a movie night. The most important skill this builds up is accountability and trust in yourself. The more you complete the work you need done, the more credit you give yourself to putting the effort in before any awards are obtained. You start to trust in your own abilities more.

Apps that I recommend for productivity and studying (I use these personally): Forest Helps with implementing pomodoro method and allows you to study with friends through the timer Uses a cute interface where you can plant and redeem points to buy more cute trees Once you have a set number of hours logged, a real tree is planted as well.

Anki App This is more useful for studying and as a good studying tactic that builds off of spaced repetition You can create flashcards and the app will sort through and show you the cards that you are most unfamiliar with.

I find that this is much more helpful than normal flashcards or Quizlet because the app tracks which concepts you are less sure of and makes sure to show those more often than the concepts you already understand.

Any countdown timer I think being able to visually see how many days/weeks are left before an assignment is due or an exam will be administered can help put a lot of things in perspective. Any countdown timer will work, but this will allow for there to be a constant reminder of how long you truly have left versus how long you think you have left to study.

I promise that just setting aside 5 minutes to start with will make a world of difference. Lastly, change every “I have to…” sentence in your mind to “I get to…”, as perspective changes a lot!

Happy studying!(:

The RiceGat RiceGa

By Thee Sim Ling

Recently, rice-lovers all over the world were united in their “outrage” over chefs who commit unforgivable “crimes” in hilarious videos done by Uncle Roger. This online persona is created by Malaysian-born comedian Nigel Ng, who came across a cooking video by the British Broadcasting Corporation on how to cook egg fried rice, done by British chef Hersha Patel. Dressed in his signature orange polo shirt, an outraged Uncle Roger detailed the various cooking crimes and sins Patel committed in the video, in what could be one of the most viral “reaction” videos this year. The video, “Uncle Roger DISGUSTED by this Egg Fried Rice Video (BBC Food)”, has since garnered more than 16 million views.

It has become so well-known it has even been reported on by multiple media outlets such as CNN, the Mirror and the South China Morning Post. Uncle Roger gained even greater popularity when he uploaded his critique of Jamie Oliver’s egg fried rice recipe and slammed him for his use of olive oil, “chili jam” and tofu in the dish. It has since garnered 9 million views.

Asians, Africans, Hispanics, and others on the eastern side of the world could easily point out the mistakes both Patel and Oliver made, with many eye-rolls in between. However, some of the cooking techniques in the videos are considered standard in Western societies.

Why is there such a stark difference between different cultures over one simple dish?

The History of Rice The scientific name for rice is Oryza, according to The Nutrition Source at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, and common types of rice include Oryza sativa (Asian rice) and Oryza glaberrima (African rice). Asian rice can further be classified into subtypes, long-grain indica and short-grain japonica. Experts are divided on when rice was first domesticated, but many believe that Asian rice first started in China near rivers and valleys, which provided ideal conditions for crop cultivation.

Soon, other parts of the world started growing their own rice. Archaeological records suggest that japonica arrived in the Indus Valley (South Asia) as early as 2400– 2200 BCE, and became a major crop in the Ganges River region beginning around 2000 BCE. During the African Iron Age, African rice was cultivated in the Niger delta region of West Africa.

This crop could have been introduced in the Mediterranean when Alexander the Great returned from his expedition to India around 344-324 B.C. From Greece, rice spread gradually through Europe and Northern Africa.

In the Caribbean and Latin America, it was introduced

by European colonizers and soon they imbued their own take on the dish. In the United States, rice was introduced by enslaved Africans in the south, such as in South Carolina and Georgia.

According to a 2019 article by World Atlas, the top 10 rice consumers around the world are (in descending order) China, India, Indonesia, Bangladesh, Vietnam, the Philippines, Thailand, Burma (Myanmar), Japan and Brazil. From the list, you can see almost all are Asian countries, with none being from Europe or North America.

Why The West Cooks Rice Differently There were many cooking techniques in the two cooking videos ridiculed by Uncle Roger that sparked controversy in Asian communities, such as using colanders, using saucepans instead of woks, using induction stoves instead of fire, washing rice improperly, using precooked rice instead of day-old rice, scraping a non-stick pan with a metal spoon, and refusing to install a rice cooker. Surprisingly, some white netizens admitted on social media that they themselves were guilty of using these “despicable” methods. Why did the west not use the cooking methods that Asians have been using for years?

It could be because of how much rice they cook themselves. Westerners - primarily White people - in general do not cook rice as often as Asians, Africans and Hispanics, even though they consume a comparable amount. Thus, they may not view a rice cooker, a bulky kitchen appliance that has only one purpose - to cook rice -as a good investment, unlike ethnic Chinese people who cook rice almost every day.

It may also be because of who they find to teach them rice cooking. White people likely picked up rice cooking techniques from cooking tutorials made by chefs such as Patel and Oliver (Patel is ethnically Indian, but she used a recipe provided by BBC to film the video), rather

ate te Scandal than being exposed to the methods utilized by everyday Asian people. This is unlike most people in Asian cultures who are taught cooking techniques by their Asian parents and elders (who likely do not use colanders). Uncle Roger jokingly claims that he knew how to cook egg fried rice since he was three years old.

The West’s Appropriation of Rice and Asian Cuisine Jamie Oliver was slammed by Uncle Roger for his egg fried rice. Unfortunately, this has not been the first time Jamie Oliver has been criticised for his rice. In 2018, Oliver released his brand of “Punchy jerk rice”, with some accusing him of cultural appropriation because of how he had used jerk cuisine from Jamaican culture. “Jerk” means “barbecue”, and traditional jerk seasoning contains allspice and scotch bonnet peppers, while Jamie Oliver replaced them with garlic, ginger and jalapeños. He had admitted to changing his recipe to “suit (his) taste”, and said, “I’ll probably get a slap for it, but that’s cooking and you can do what you like!”

prefer saucepans to woks. Some dislike cooking with rice cookers. Some measure water with cups instead of using their fingers. Some do not wash their rice before they cook. And so on…

The idea that only people of one culture are “allowed” to cook that culture’s food is fundamentally flawed in an increasingly globalized world. It prevents people from appreciating other cultures and celebrating diversity. It hinders gastronomical innovation, such as fusion cuisine, which involves blending food from different cultures.

However, shared appreciation and understanding cannot be done if there is no mutual respect for each other’s cuisines. If chefs of another ethnicity do not take the time and effort to immerse themselves in another culture before trying to make their own “plagiarized” recipes and marketing them for profit and publicity, then it defeats the purpose of sharing our cuisines.

The “whitewashing” of food has been a major problem in the food and beverage industry, and extends beyond rice to other elements of Asian culture. Last year, Asian food critic Angela Hui lashed out at Gordon Ramsay for branding one of his restaurants as “an authentic Asian Eating House”. Not only did Lucky Cat lump a “wagyu pastrami burger”, “Asian chili jam” and “smoked ponzu emulsion’’ into the dishes it served journalists, it also did not have any Asian chefs at the time of its opening.

New York Times food columnist Alison Roman, also white, promoted her recipe “Spiced Chickpea Stew with Coconut and Tumeric”, similar to Indian curry. However, she has refused to call it a curry and denied she has ever made curry before, sparking backlash from critic Roxana Hadadi, who called it “colonialism as culture”.

In 2019, there was also a newly-opened Chinese-inspired restaurant Lucky Lee’s, whose white owner said would serve “clean” food that wouldn’t make people feel “bloated and icky” afterwards (It closed eight months later).

Is There One “Right” Way To Cook Rice?

There isn’t. Even among Asian communities that cook rice, there is no one agreed upon way to cook it. Some

Sources: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/ food-features/rice/ h t t p s : / / w w w. t h o u g h t c o . c o m / o r i g i n s - h i s t o ry-of-rice-in-china-170639 http://ricepedia.org/culture/history-of-rice-cultivation https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/

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