Big Ted Interview

DIRTY BIG TED BEAR’S ALL

DIRTY BIG TED

K. Well Ted Oz Kink Fest seems to be getting bigger every year and 2022 looks like it will be no different. What were your personal highlights from OZF 2019?

DBT. Every year Fetish Expo is Ted’s time to shine. I am so happy to be the official mascot and I get a really good spot to see everything that goes on throughout the day. I do a lot of perving you know. Ted sees things. From where Ted was sitting he could see right up some of those really short skirts that Miss Polly Filla wears. Well did Ted cop an eye full last year. I love Miss Polly Fila. She has so many really pretty frocks but I think there is something a bit “funny under the bonnet”. Ted’s theory is that New Zealand girls are made a bit different to Australian girls. Something a bit extra. I am gunna have me a closer look this year when Polly does those wonderful high kick and see what I can make out. Ted’s a tit-and-arse kinda Bear but a nice set of pecs and muscle get me just as hot under the rug too. It is such a wonderful day but its all over too quickly. Last year Ted helped with set up for the first time. Well, I tried to help but I am a bit big and clumsy. When I was new to the scene, I would arrive like a celebrity but now Mistress Malice makes Ted work like a slave. Sometimes she treats Ted like a flokati rug. She walk all over Ted and just wipes her Ugg boots on my bum. I love it though and when you see Mistress Malice huffing and stomping around the Town Hall with that clip board, her cheeks are flaming red oooh la la …. and she is growling at this one and growling and that one. It is so darn hot. I love it when she growls at me. Ted would love to growl that honey pot right on back hmmm. It was all very exciting though. It is just like being behind the scenes of a dirty movie. Sex toys and sexy people were buzzing around (literally) everywhere. All throughout the Town Hall. I have never seen so many dongs in one place at the same time. I was so turned on when the stalls were all set up and the stall holders started to all get dressed up in their fetish gear. There was pots and post of flesh, pvc and leather everywhere. It was like Ted vision of heaven. I had to sit on my paws just to make sure I stopped my Dirty-Big-Self doing something really naughty. That position sure didn’t stop Ted doing a tiny bit of self-gratification though. Miss Nina caught me and said if I didn’t behave, she would peg my fuzzy ears back. It wasn’t my ears I wanted pegged. If one little claw could feel so good I could only imagine how much Ted would love a pegging.

K. Last year was the first time you participated in a number of other event during Oz Kink Fest apart from Fetish Expo. I understand you went to several of the workshops. Were they informative and did you learn new things?

DBT. OOhh yes I sure did. I did have an all-time favourite though and she was GEORGOUS. She had a soft spot for Ted. I know that because I got to paw it. I am so lucky with the sexy, kinky people that I have met since that day when Mistress Malice adducted

Ted from Costco. I was just Big Ted then. Now I am a really dirty, dirty bear. I am still a bit shy and some of the people still scare me a bit but they scare me in a dirty horny way that makes me sweat honey out of every pour. Last year was just the best. Wayne finally let Ted go to events other than Fetish Expo. I was the super star of the Dirty Big Teddy Bears picnic did you know? The girls and boys loved Ted. There was some big girls and big boys at the picnic. Renee told me it’s the hormones they put in the chickens these days. Well I loved it. They all wanted to play with Ted and rub themselves all over my fuzzy body. That was so fun and my first visit to Q Space. Because it was so much work getting Ted’s great big arse up the stairs to Q Space Wayne let me stay for some of the workshops. I got to meet Wayne’s friend Girl Ange. Ted gave her the nick name Growl Ange since that was all I could think about. Did you know she was International Miss Leather? It was so exciting to be in the presence of leather royalty and she was really pretty. Ted could get enough of the sweet buttered corn smell of her boobs. Angela was so nice to me. She invited me as her special guest to her workshop. Such an honour. I sat right at the front so I could smell Angela’s boobs. She didn’t tell me it was a workshop for couples though. “Don’t worry Ted, you can practice on me if you would like”. What an honour. I didn’t know at the time, but the workshop was about Fisting and Squirting. It wasn’t very long before Ted was the one squirting. Let me tell you. Yep I blew my biscuits right there and then. I didn’t even have to touch myself I was so excited. Oh my lordy what a mess I made. I had to buy 7 of Angela’s special bandanas just to clean myself up. It was lucky I was in the front row. I was so embarrassed but Angela was lovely. What a picture she was laying back on that baby blue yoga matt naked as a newborn from the waist down and just as smooth. She gave Ted the longest wink I have ever seen and said, ever so gently… “now let’s practice big boy”. Ted nearly fainted. I think it was from the loss of fluids.

K. Is there anything extra special that you are looking forward to this year during Oz Kink Fest? What is Dirty Big Ted’s “Hot

Picks” for 2022?

DBT. After Ted’s Winter hibernation I am hornier than a cane toad. In fact, I can hardly keep my paws off my junk just thinking about all the events that make up Oz Kink Fest. I have realised since I started Mascoting at Fetish Expo that rope really lights Ted’s fire. Wayne doesn’t know but I found a piece of rope in the back yard at L&D’s where I hibernate. When no one is around I sometimes bind up the old little Ted. I wrap it good and tight around those fur balls and then good firm loops right down where little Ted meets the Big Ted. I get harder than a discount at Sax Fetish just thinking about it. Oooohh it feels so good. The slightest touch and that little fella is leaping about like a frog on a lily pad. Wayne said if I am really good I can watch that nice Mr Knight perform his rope art. I have seen pictures of his art. He is so clever. I would really love some rude pictures of Ted looking all sexy tied up in rope for my Growler profile. I wonder if I will be able to keep the little Ted in my cod piece though. The performances at Hellfire Resurrection were just the bees’ knees last year and I cant wait to see what Mistress Malice has in store for 2022. I bet its going to be good and sexy, and dirty and yummy. DBT. Oh yes indeedy there certainly is a hot pick at Hellfire Resurrection this year. Hot, hot, hot in fact. I saw the most wonderful performance at Hellfire Resurrection last year and I can’t wait to see her on stage again. She was an Amazonian Goddess in 7” stiletto heels. Her name is Mistress Tokyo. Wayne said she comes down from Sydney specially for Oz Kink Fest. I was mesmerised by her. She must be like 7 foot tall and so sexy shiny. Mistress had blazing red lips like a bon fire on Mars, ice water ran through her veins and her skin was pure alabaster. Mistress Tokyo and her special rope friend did this really super show which combined ariel performance with shibari. They were swinging back and forth across the stage like a horny metronome. It wasn’t long before Big Ted was swaying in rhythm to these air-bourn beauties. It didn’t notice at the time but it was so sexy I had popped my cod piece. When I finally looked down there was the little Ted swaying along too. So happy. I have to confess though I was really really bad that night and I was taught a big lesson. Maybe it’s good to air my secret shame since in involves the same beautiful Mistress. I was in such awe of Mistress Toyko I really wanted to tell her how much I loved her show. I saw her striding through the crowd after she had performed. She was so tantalizingly close so, like a silly fat bear I reached out and grabbed her arm so I could introduce myself. If being grabbed by a giant Bear startled her it didn’t show. Kapowee – Mistress delivered one almighty karate kink to Ted’s googlies with the point of her heel. I can say Mistress’s aim is deadly. Ted hardly had time to let out a YELP when Mistress Toyko delivered a cracking slap across Ted’s face. I was dazed and all I can recall was hearing the word “consent”. I tried to make amends and I handed Mistress a $100 note. She slapped my face again, this time even harder, and then strode off through the crowd. Oh my stars it was the best $100 dollars I have ever spent. My balls ached for a month. It was so hot. After that incident Wayne sat the Ted down and explained acceptable behaviour. I will never be disrespectful again.