PALMY PARENT
PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
THE AMAZING SOCIAL CAPABILITIES OF BABIES
PRODUCT REVIEW: Feeding babies and toddlers on the move
PART 3
February . March . 2019
EARLY FATHERHOOD One Veteran Dad’s Experience
BEYOND THE CLAMP Gentle Alternative Cord Ties for Babies
EDITOR’S NOTE
Goodness me, it’s been a hot few weeks to start 2019 off!! I hope everyone has had a fantastic holiday break, and the heat hasn’t been too unpleasant for our pregnant readers out there. We’ve got a great issue lined up for you this month. For a bit of family fun, check out the Valentine’s ideas article for 15 things you can do together - or if you’ve got toddlers and older children, get yourselves down to Cloud 9 trampoline park, the site of this episode of our Family Friendly Outings and a fabulous place to spend an afternoon. For our expectant mothers, we have a lovely piece on cord ties as an alternative to plastic cord clamps, and Michael Lansbury gives some sage advice about the early days of fatherhood for our new Dads, too. We conclude our series on the amazing social capabilities of babies from the Brainwave Trust, and have a beautiful birth story to get you all clucking, plus a great article on the importance of iron for babies and an excellent-looking recipe to try, perfect for cooler evenings (hard to imagine in the midst of a heatwave, but undoubtedly on their way eventually!). I hope you all have a lovely couple of months, and enjoy the last of the Summer with your family.
Erin Evis, Editor
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Disclaimer: Opinions and articles in this magazine do not necessarily reflect Parents Centre NZ policy. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centre. ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
3
CONTENTS FEATURES Beyond the Clamp
10
The Amazing Social Capabilities of Babies Part Three
12
15 Fun Valentines Day Family Traditions
18
IN EVERY ISSUE Editor’s note
3
PNPC seminars & events
6
What’s on ... In our region
8
Book Review
9
Birth Story:New Year’s Gift
16
Dads Life: Early Fatherhood
22
Product Review: Feeding babies and toddlers on the move
24
Family Friendly Outings: Cloud 9 Trampoline Park
28
Health: Iron-rich Lentils for Littlies
28
Recipe: Healthy Shepherd’s Pie
29
Craft: Photo Canvas
30
Community support groups
32
Member discounts
33
Playgroups in your area
34
CONTRIBUTORS Erin Evis, Laura Wenden-Green, Cheree Myers, Michael Lansbury, Laura Markham, Inez McCaughan, Kate Dent Rennie, Mairie Fromont, Lacey Bower Front cover: Jackson Turnock. Photo Stories photography
4 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
GOT SOMETHING TO SHARE? Want to share some helpful advice or a great book you’ve read? Let us know and we’ll share it with our members. Or, if you would like to have your baby’s photos printed, write about your birth experience, review a book or a family friendly venue you have visited recently, we’d love to hear from you!
Email the Editor at: palmyparenteditor@gmail.com
COMMITTEE NEWS It seems like such a long time ago but our first Palmy Parent and Child Expo was held on the 14th of October. It was a great event for the whole family and the first Expo of its kind in the Manawatu. The expo was attended by over 2000 people (including children). Local businesses came together to showcase their products and services to local families, pregnancy through to school. There were over 60 exhibitors, bouncy castles for the kids, face painting, activities, food trucks and giveaways. We wanted the event to be as family focused as possible, we had a wonderful Parents Room set up for families to come in and feed/change their little ones if required and the feedback about the expo was positive, particularly the Parents Room. We have already started to plan for our 2019 expo. More information can be found at http://www.palmyparentandchildexpo.co.nz/ event-info/
We had the first committee meeting of the year to plan the year ahead. We were excited to be hosted by Liz of the Halo Salt Rooms, we definitely had the most chilled out committee meeting ever but the relaxing atmosphere got the creative juices flowing and we have a great year planned. Keep an eye on our Facebook page as we will soon announce a new offering by our Centre which we are super thrilled to offer the community. We are so blessed with our current venue, we plan to celebrate our first year in the amazing Te Papaioea Birthing Centre in February with an Open Day, please come along and check the centre out and share some cake and stories with us.
On December the 2nd we held our 2nd annual Christmas Party, there were two sessions one for walkers and one for babies. There was much fun had by all who attended, the music was festive, the photos were expertly taken by Tamara of Milldove Photography, the crafts were simple and effective and created a keepsake, and the Christmas baking was a particular standout for most who attended.
ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
5
PNPC
SEMINARS & EVENTS FEBRUARY & MARCH BABY AND YOU CLASSES Wednesday 13, 20, 27 February Wednesday 20, 27 March and 3 April This program follows on from antenatal classes and offers sound tips and strategies as you begin your remarkable journey into parenthood during the fourth trimester. The class is best suited to babies 0-6 weeks. Bring your baby with you for the 3 sessions of the course. Cost: $40 per family INTRODUCTORY WATER SKILLS FOR INFANTS Venue: Lido Aquatic Centre Tuesday 5 February, 11.30am Introduce your child to water in this “taster” swimming class. For babies and toddlers aged 5 months to 3 years old. Approximately 30 minutes duration. Cost: Free; this session is kindly provided by CLM Swim Magic. HOT TOPIC- OUCH THAT HURTS Wednesday 13 February, 7.30pm Why kids (including siblings) hit, bite, push and use hurting words when they know it’s not ok. Brain based strategies to help kids manage their emotions without lashing out. Cost: $10 PNPC members, $15 non-members NEWBORN BREASTFEEDING Saturday 23 February, 10am Designed for ALL expectant and new mums who are intending to, or have recently started breastfeeding. Learn how to prepare for and get started with breastfeeding, along with strategies for an effective and sustainable breastfeeding journey. You can attend this seminar while pregnant and again in the early weeks with your newborn. Partners welcome.
STARTING SOLIDS Friday 8 March, 10am Perfect for parents of 3-9 month olds. In this popular seminar with our new presenter Registered Dietitian and mum Megan Somerville, you will learn the signs that your baby is ready for complementary feeding, what to introduce when, and other topics to ensure you are confident and ready for this next step. Cost: $6 members: $12 non-members HOT TOPIC- NEW BABY, HELPING OLDER SIBLINGS COPE Wednesday 13 March, 7.30pm This Hot topic will cover how to address some of the key questions around sibling relationships: -How can we help our little one adjust to the new baby? -How do we juggle all the needs in the family? -What on earth do I do when my toddler keeps hurting the baby? Although aimed at younger children the concepts discussed will apply to all sibling relationships. Cost: $10 PNPC members, $15 non-members RESPONSIVE PARENTING COURSE Sunday 17 March and Sunday 24 March, 9am-4pm Palmerston North Parents Centre’s Responsive Parenting Workshops are designed to encourage, support and equip families with positive, ‘responsive’ and non-punitive strategies for the parenting journey. Cost: $20 single; $35 couple FEEDING TODDLERS Saturday 23 March, 10am Join Registered Dietitian and mum Megan Somerville to discuss the practicalities of feeding 1-3 year olds. Learn about common challenges such as fussy eating, and discuss practical tips and strategies around making mealtimes easy and how you can support your toddler to develop a healthy relationship with food. Cost: $6 members: $12 non-members
Presented by Cheryl Benn, Lactation Consultant, selfemployed midwife, and Regional Midwifery Advisor to MidCentral and Whanganui DHB Cost: Free to all 6 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
To register please see our website: http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ All seminars and events can be found in our calendar on the website. For any queries please email: info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz
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ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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WHAT’S ON . . . in our region FUN FOR THE FAMILY The Bubble Show Wednesday 27 February - 4pm & 6.30pm Globe Theatre, 312 Main St, Palmerston North
Hilux New Zealand Rural Games Saturday 9 - Sunday 10 March - 10am The Square, Palmerston North
Cornerstone Gala 2019 Taihape Gumboot Day Family Festival Saturday 2 March - 10am-2pm Saturday 23 March - 10am Cornerstone Christian School, 61 Roberts Line, Memorial Park, Taihape Palmerston North Explore Esplanade - Family Day Sunday 3 March - 10am-4pm Victoria Esplanade Gardens, Palmerston North
Halcombe School Gala Saturday 23 March - 10am-1.30pm Halcombe School, Halcombe Marton Harvest Fair Sunday 31 March - 10am-4pm Marton Park, Follet St, Marton
PARENT CENTRE PARTNERS:
8 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
BOOK REVIEW
THE DOG AND THE MOG Written By Kaye Arnott Review by Nicola Reid The Dog and the Mog is instantly relatable and an exciting new publication by Palmy-proud author and illustrator. Davey, the mischievous pooch, looks up at the reader with his ‘who, me?’ eyes after causing trouble while his human pal was at school. An obvious solution is to get floppy-eared Davey a furry friend, but offering up Davey’s much-loved stripy cushion causes palpable tension as the reader watches Mavis, the new cat, paw and claw at his favourite spot. The litmus test for children’s books is watching children react The Dog and The Mog does not disappoint. My reading-averse 9 year old saw a kindred spirit in cheeky-Davey and was held captive by Laura’s illustrations. My three year old stopped the reading to tell me that Davey needed to start making good choices! The highlight was watching my seven year old use it for a Book Chat at the local summer reading programme. No nuance in Kaye’s poetic storytelling was lost on this one who had trouble choosing his favourite part; did the staff want his favourite illustration or favourite part of the story? I’m all for supporting local talent - and this is a very easy task with the playful connection between Kaye’s text and Laura’s illustrations. Grab a copy and take it to your favourite stripy cushion with a cuppa!
BOOK GIVEAWAY Be in to win this issue’s reviewed book!
FUN & A FIX
COFFEE & KIDS
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To enter the draw to win this issue’s book, email your name, membership number and the title of the book to palmnthpc@gmail.com. Entries for the next draw must be received by March 15th. The winner’s name will be printed in the next issue of the Palmy Parent and the book will be posted to you.
TUES, WED & THURS 10am-12pm
Bruce McKenzie’s Booksellers is situated in George Street beside the entrance to the Palmerston North Library. Bruce McKenzie’s carries an enormous range of books from children’s to specialist nonfiction and is definitely worth a visit. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask the staff who are always willing to help.
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The children’s book reviewed above has been generously donated by Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North to give away to a lucky Parents Centre Member.
CONGRATULATIONS TO: BREASTFEEDING WELCOME HERE
Ellie George who has won a copy of ‘Little
Hector and the big Whale’ ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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FEATURE
BEYOND THE CLAMP:
Gentle Alternative Cord Ties for Babies
By Erin Evis Immediately after a baby is born, the placenta will continue to pump blood through into the infant via the umbilical cord, supplying essential stem cells, oxygen and nutrients. Once this process is complete, the cord will turn white and naturally clamp itself as the maternal blood supply to baby shuts off. Despite this, most people still prefer to have a means of tying off the cord prior to cutting it. Umbilical cord ties are an alternative means of clamping a baby’s umbilical cord once it has stopped pulsating, using string to tie it off rather than the standard plastic hospital clamp.
Why would I use one?
What are they made from? There are two options generally used, though others are available: Traditional muka ties are made from plaited muka fibre from harakeke (Phormium tenax) flax. Muka is the super-strong, natural fibre found within the harakeke leaves, which is naturally antibacterial and has been used by Māori families for centuries for tying off the umbilical cord. This can be woven or plaited, and can be adorned with embellishments such as pounamu. Note that in Māori tradition, hapū/pregnant women should not harvest harakeke themselves. Cotton ties are usually made from strong embroidery cotton, and can be made by the mother or her family, or purchased, and come in a wide array of colours and styles. Like muka ties, these can be plaited or woven, and embellished with beads or stones, or crocheted into animal or other shapes at the ends - the sky is the limit.
They’re softer for baby and much less bulky, which can be useful for those concerned about the size of plastic clamps against baby’s skin. They can also be easier to fit around nappies, and are less likely to snag and rip on clothes or nappies. They can be woven for the baby by its parents or family, and be a way of involving a number of people in the process perhaps each member of the family or close friends can choose a colour, or a crafty someone could put it together - though for those less crafty, there are a number of places available online who make and sell them. And, of course, they look cute.
Are they safe? Cotton ties can be sterilised by boiling in water for 20mins, or baking between layers of heavy oven-proof paper or cloth on a medium-high heat for around an hour before storing in a clean snap-lock bag until using - always ensure any embellishments are clean and sterile also. Muka is naturally antibacterial so sterilisation is not required. The tie should obviously be kept out of nappies, and kept dry and clean to prevent infection. As the ties are not stretchy, they may fall off before the cord stump does as the remaining cord shrivels and dries out. (Images: SageBabes - via TheHiveNZ.co.nz)
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Puddleducks are proud to have been a locally owned and operated family business since May 2000. We value the communities we live and work within and are focused on supporting local businesses and community services and amenities. We believe in the Manawatu and all it has to offer families. Our centres offer excellent teacher to child ratios above the Ministry of Education requirements, healthy cooked meals* , community and environmental inclusion, free play and primary care for infants. Contact us now to enquire. enquiries@puddleducks.co.nz or 0800 897 382 Manchester Street, Feilding 0-5years Ward Street, Palmerston North 2-5 years Russell Street, Palmerston North 2-5 years Albert Street, Palmerston North 0-5 years Haggitt Sreet, Feilding 0-5 years NEW centre opening 2019, Featherston Street, Palmerston North 0-5 years * Not all centres provide this service currently. Please enquire for details
ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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FEATURE
THE AMAZING SOCIAL CAPABILITIES OF BABIES | Part Three By Kate Dent Rennie Humans are social creatures. Their social skills and capabilities begin to develop very early in life. In the first year of life the baby builds relationships with other humans that help them survive and thrive. In Part One of this series we explored the development of some of baby’s social capacities, which begin in the first days and weeks after birth. He/she develops the ability to differentiate people by their face, voice and smell. Infants smile more when touch is combined with an interactive face reaction. They also learn to regulate their arousal levels by engaging and disengaging during face-to-face interactions. In Part Two we explored how very early in life babies develop a sense of themselves as separate to others, and that they actively learn how to interact with their environment and their parents/caregivers. In this final piece, we will explore some of the more complex developments including perception of time, space, connections between objects and reading emotion. We will finish by looking at what babies cannot do and the important role of their parent or primary caregiver.
1. What Babies Can Do 1.1 Perception of Time
Infants are born able to perceive time and estimate durations accurately. For example, the fact that they are
able to modify the duration of the pauses between their sucking bursts to control the playing of music (DeCasper & Carstens, 1981) implies a capacity for estimating time. At 3 months of age, infants are able to perceive durations and anticipate when events in a regular sequence will occur. They detect irregularities in the timing of the sequence of as little as 200 milliseconds (one fifth of a second) (Haith et al., 1988). This capacity for perceiving time and estimating durations is used by infants to time their own and another person’s behaviour in face-to-face interactions. These interactions involve split second sequences of actions and reactions, where each is modifying the duration times of their own sounds & silences in co-ordination with the other and responding to the other in half a second or less (Jaffe et al.,2001). Heightened responsiveness to infant cues may be a prerequisite for “parental sensitivity” and attunement with the infant’s needs. This attunement is a key part of human social interactions and relationship development (Parsons et al., 2010). By 3 to 4 months, infants are engaging in mother-infant vocal & facial-visual communication with similar rhythmmatching to that of adult dialogues (Beebe & Lachmann, 2002).
1.2 Awareness of Space
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Infants are born with remarkable spatial perception. They can locate the source of a sound in space and even in the first weeks of life, will take evasive action (ducking their head or holding up their hands) to avoid being hit by an object travelling towards their head (Bower et al., 1970). At 3-4 months infants understand that objects are permanent i.e. they continue to exist when hidden, and are solid. By 4 months, infants distinguish between objects that move of their own accord and those that move because they have been made to move (Mandler, 1988). The early understanding infants have of the spatial structure of objects and their trajectories in space, and of the nature of solid objects enables them to participate in fast and complex patterns of movement during social interactions, such as approach and avoidance (Beebe & Lachmann, 2002).
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1.3 Understanding Emotions
From birth, infants are able to perceive and express emotion, as shown by facial expressions. Newborn infants can discriminate surprise, fear and sadness on an adult’s face and can imitate these expressions so accurately that you can guess the adult’s expression by looking at the baby’s face alone (Field et al., 1982; Meltzoff & Moore, 1977).
By 10-12 months of age, infants use their ability to read emotion on their caregiver’s face to help them make sense of novel things in their environment – a capacity called “social referencing” (Klinnert, 1984; Sorce et al., 1985). By 10 months of age, differential lateralisation of the brain’s hemispheres for emotional processes appears to be established, with the infant’s brain being activated for positive emotion (predominantly in the left frontal lobes) when he/she sees positive emotion in another person (Davidson & Fox, 1982).
1.4 Interpreting and translating the world
From the first weeks of life, babies have the ability to translate information perceived via one sense to another (Stern, 1985). For example, newborns can match the expression on an adult model’s face, which they experience visually, with an expression on their own face, which they experience by proprioception (Meltzoff & Moore, 1977). At 3 weeks of age, infants can recognise that a bumpy pacifier bulb that they have felt inside their mouth matches the bumpy object that they can see in front of them (Meltzoff & Borton, 1979). In the second half of the first year of a baby’s life, attuned caregivers often take advantage of the baby’s capacity to translate information by using behaviours that adapt their feeling states and match them in rhythm, duration and intensity, letting the infant know that they are sharing the same emotional experience (Beebe & Lachmann, 2002; Stern, 1985).
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2. What Babies Cannot Do
Apart from infants’ rudimentary ability to regulate their level of arousal by choosing what to look at and self-soothing with sucking and touching, they are born largely unable to regulate either their physiological or their emotional states.
2.1 Physiological Regulation
Mothers provide infants with the basic physiological regulation that keeps them alive. Her body keeps him warm, her milk feeds him and provides immune protection (Oddy, 2001), and her touch regulates his growth hormones and stress hormones (Polan & Hofer, 2008). In the early months of an infant’s life, the main role of caregivers is to support physiological regulation, assisting him to make smooth transitions between states e.g. from tired to asleep, from hungry to satiated, from uncomfortable to comfortable, from fussy and over-aroused to calm and alert (Sroufe, 1995).
2.2 Emotion Regulation
The human stress response system is ‘in place’ very early. In the brain, the amygdala which specialises in appraising danger and is involved in emotional memory and activating the fight-flight response is largely mature by 8 months’ gestation (Ono et al., 1995; Phelps & Anderson, 1997; Ulfig et al., 2003). This means that newborn infants (and even unborn infants) have a well-developed capacity for recognising dangerous situations and experiencing fear. At the same time, the frontal lobes, which are involved in inhibiting fear, do not develop until much Continues page 14 ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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FEATURE
The Amazing Social Capabilities of Babies | Part 3 Continues later. Hence young infants are particularly vulnerable to experiencing fear, with very little ability to self soothe (Cozolino, 2007). Parents of young infants therefore have many opportunities to support regulation of distress. They do this by appearing to join the infant in his distress state – using facial expression, tone of voice and gestures to mirror the infant’s emotional experience, but often doing so in an exaggerated way, thereby “marking” their communication as not an expression of their own true feelings (Beebe, 2003; Gergely & Watson, 1999). From ‘joining’ the infant in his distress, the sensitive parent then gradually ‘leads’ his/her baby back to a calmer state by slowly dropping their volume, slowing their pace and calming their voice (Beebe, 2003). The parent guides the baby back to a regulated state, and in doing so, is coaching his nervous system establishing the neural pathways for regulation. You can say that the baby “borrows” the parent’s prefrontal cortex and uses it as a model for his own developing brain (Cozolino, 2006). However, it’s not just through experiences of getting upset and being comforted by a caregiver that an infant’s brain circuitry for regulation is being established. Research into mother-infant interactions (conducted by microanalysis of sequences of behaviour between mothers and their babies) has found that, in all of their ordinary, everyday interactions both mother and infant are engaged in a complex, synchronised “dance” of mutual regulation. In this “dance” they are reacting to and adjusting to each other, on a moment-by-moment basis, both affecting each other (“interactive regulation”) and managing their own states of attention and arousal (“selfregulation”) (Beebe & Lachmann, 2002). In these day-to-day interactions, although they occur outside the conscious awareness of either mother or baby, patterns of co-ordination and regulation are being learned by the infant. In recent research, the patterns established by 4 months of age have been found to predict attachment at 12 months (Beebe et al., 2010; Beebe et al., 2012). Allan Schore has emphasised the same point - that “the same interactions (interactive regulatory transactions) that co-create a secure attachment bond also influence the development and expansion of the infant’s regulatory systems, involved in appraising and coping with stress.” He concludes that “attachment can be defined as the dyadic regulation of emotion. Attachment theory is, in essence, a regulatory theory.” (Schore, 2001, p. 14).
In conclusion
Infants are born with an impressive array of social capabilities. However, they are born largely unable to regulate either their physiological or their emotional states. Infants require a great deal of
support through the early years, from parents, to regulate their physiological and emotional states. The patterns of emotion regulation that infants learn with parents become established in their neural circuits. These form a key part of their future emotional and social functioning. Kate Dent Rennie is a Co-director of the Centre for Attachment and a bioenergetic psychotherapist with a Master’s Degree in Infant Mental Health. The focus of her work is on supporting the development of secure infant-caregiver attachment relationships. She has a particular interest in adult attachment representations and the transmission of attachment patterns from caregivers to their children. In the past, she has worked in private practice and in the field of eating disorder treatment. She is a member of the Infant Mental Health Association Aotearoa New Zealand (IMHAANZ). Kate is the mother of four children. This article was first published in Brainwave Trust Newsletter 21, Summer 2014
References
Beebe, B. & Lachmann, F.M. (2002). Infant Research and Adult Treatment: Co-constructing interactions. London, UK: The Analytic Press. Beebe, B. (2003). Brief mother-infant treatment: Psychoanalytically informed video feedback. Infant Mental Health Journal, 24(1), 2452. Beebe, B., Jaffe, J., Markese, S., Buck, K., Chen, H., Cohen, P., Bahrick, L., Andrews, H. & Feldstein, S. (2010). The origins of 12-month attachment: A microanalysis of 4-month mother-infant interaction. Attachment & Human Development, 12(1-2), 3-141. Beebe, B., Lachmann, F., Markese, S. & Bahrick, L. (2012). On the origins of disorganised attachment and internal working models: Paper I. A dyadic systems approach. Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 22,
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253-272.
human neonates. Nature, 282(5737), 403-404.
Bower, T.G.R., Broughton, J.M. & Moore, M K. (1970). Infant responses to approaching objects: An indicator of response to distal variables. Perception & Psychophysics, 9(2B), 193-196.
Meltzoff, A.N. & Moore. M.K. (1977). Imitation of facial and manual gestures by human neonates. Science, 198(4312), 75-78.
Cozolino, L.J. (2006). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain. New York, NY: WW Norton. Cozolino, L.J. (2007). The Neuroscience of Change. Presented at Family Ties Attachment and Family Therapy Conference, February 2007, Auckland, NZ. DeCasper, A.J. & Carstens. (1981). Contingencies of stimulation: Effects on learning and emotion in neonates. Infant Behavior and Development, 4, 19-35. Davidson, R. J., & Fox, N. A. (1982). Asymmetrical brain activity discriminates between positive and negative affective stimuli in human infants. Science, 218, 1235-1237. Field, T.M., Woodson, R., Greenberg, R. & Cohen, D. (1982). Discrimination and imitation of facial expressions by neonates. Science, 218(4568), 179-181. Gergely, G. & Watson, J. (1999). Chapter 5. Early socio-emotional development: Contingency perception and the social-biofeedback model. In P Rochat (Ed.) Early social cognition: Understanding others in the first months of life. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. Haith, M. M., Hazan, C. & Goodman, G.S. (1988). Expectation and anticipation of dynamic visual events by 3.5-month-old babies. Child Development, 59(2), 467-479. Jaffe, J., Beebe, B., Feldstein, S., Crown, C.L., Jasnow, M.D., Rochat, P. & Stern, D.N. (2001). Rhythms of dialogue in infancy: Coordinated timing in development. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 66(2), 1-149. Klinnert, M.D. (1984). The regulation of infant behavior by maternal facial expression. Infant Behavior and Development, 7(4), 447-465.
Oddy, W.H. (2001). Breastfeeding protects against illness and infection in infants and children: a review of the evidence. Breastfeeding Review, 9(2), 11-18. Ono, T., Nishijo, H. & Uwano, T. (1995). Amygdala role in conditioned associative learning. Progress in Neurobiology, 46(4), 401-422. Parsons, C. E., Young, K. S., Murray, L., Stein, A., & Kringelbach, M. L. (2010). The functional neuranatomy of the evolving parentinfant relationship. Progress in Neurobiology, 91(3), 220 - 241. Phelps, E.A. & Anderson, A.K. (1997). Emotional memory: What does the amygdala do? Current Biology, 7, R311-R314. Polan, H.J. & Hofer, M.A. (2008). Psychobiological origins of infant attachment and its role in development. In J. Cassidy & P. R. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications (2nd ed.,pp.158-172). New York, NY: The Guilford Press. Schore, A.N. (2001). Effects of a secure attachment relationship on right brain development, affect regulation and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 7-66. Sorce, J.F., Emde, R.N., Campos, J. & Klinnert, M.D. (1985). Maternal emotional signalling: Its effect on the visual cliff behavior of 1-yearolds. Developmental Psychology, 21(1), 195-200. Sroufe, A. (1995). Emotional Development, the Organisation of Emotional Life in the Early Years. Cambridge University Press. Stern D.N. (1985). The Interpersonal World of the Infant. New York, NY: Basic Books. Ulfig, N., Setzer, M. & Bohl, J. (2003). Ontogeny of the human amygdala. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 985, 22-33. Š
Mandler, J.M. (1988). How to build a baby: On the development of an accessible representational system. Cognitive Development, 3,113-136. Meltzoff, A.N. & Borton, R.W. (1979). Intermodal matching by ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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BIRTH STORY
NEW YEAR’S GIFT
The birth of our little bundle of delight By Quinn Suzanne Bower How is possible to love something so much? This little bundle of ours is something my wife and I have desired for many years. After a number of set backs it was on the afternoon of 30 April 2018 that we received the best possible news. We were pregnant. Before I was pregnant, I already had a good idea on what I wanted to do once in labour. I wanted a natural labour and water birth without medical intervention as I strongly believe that birth is a natural wonder that unfortunately over the years has been over medicalised. I also wanted to avoid pain killers of any sort as I did not want to be putting those drugs into my unborn baby, I wanted her to be born with a clear head and have the energy to
latch herself. There also was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to birth at the Te Papaioea Birthing Centre as this offers all the facilities required without the sterile feel of the hospital.
My pregnancy My pregnancy was a good pregnancy without complications or issues apart from the morning sickness. This is something that no one seems to talk about, so it was quite a surprise when I got as sick as I did. They say morning sickness is worse with girls, I will second that notion. We had decided that we wanted to find out the gender at the 20-week scan. My Dad and Step Mum (Sue) came down for this special occasion and were in the room during the scan. Both my Dad and I turned into blubbering messes when the sonographer announced, “it’s a girl”.
Due date It was New Year’s Eve and I was showing no signs of going into labour. At 6pm I was at home with my wife, step son, Dad and Sue, bouncing away on my Swiss Ball when I started to feel uncomfortable. Surely this was not labour, it must be Braxton Hicks, what are the chances of going into labour on your due date? Especially for a first time Mum. 8pm rolled around and despite the contractions getting longer, more intense and more regular (40-50 seconds every 2-5 minutes) I was still in disbelief that I was actually in labour. It was at this point that my wife rang the birthing centre to let them know I was in labour. As per our birth plan, I continued to labour at home using acupressure, 16 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
movement and the shower to help with the pain. I was mentally prepared for this to last for many, many, many hours before being far enough along to head to the Birthing Centre, turns out my body had other ideas. After getting out of the shower, I had no idea what the time was, my wife came in and wished me happy New Year. It was at this time I started to feel that maybe we should think about heading to the Centre. I asked my wife what she thought and she said that when I feel I am ready to go then we will go. The issue for me was that I still was in disbelief, plus this seemed to be progressing way quicker than it should for a first birth.
The New yYear At approx. 12:45am as I was on my knees over the back of the couch breathing heavy and now needing to concentrate with the intensity of the contractions, I found myself saying “maybe we should go now”. Everyone jumped, it was the moment Dad and Sue had been waiting for, I think they were a little concerned that I may end up birthing at home. My wife rang the Birthing Centre again to let them know we were on the way. It took us a while to get ourselves sorted as we were going to go in my car but we could not find the keys. I ended up jumping in the back of Dad’s car with Sue, Dad drove and my wife took her car. It is just a short trip to the Centre but in that time, I had three contractions, they were now coming faster and I did not get much respite. We arrived at the centre at approx. 01:30am, pausing at the bottom of the stairs for a contraction. Once at the top of the stairs we were welcomed by the onduty midwives and escorted to our room, not before pausing half way down the hallway for another contraction. Once we entered our room, Dad waited outside, I remember having a sense of calm rush over me, I was in the right place. Then immediately dropped to my knees at the side of the bed for yet another contraction. I remember my midwife saying something along the lines of “there is not much time between them”, for me it felt like I was contracting for more time than I had rest.
Pushing felt so good, I now had some control and could work with my body rather than fight it like I had been for the last hour or so. After 40 minutes of pushing and trying a number of different positions our beautiful baby girl was placed on my belly at 03:59am. That was the most precious moment of my life. She was perfect, and almost immediately started hunting and made her way to my nipple and latched.
Looking back It has now been four weeks and I have had plenty of time to mentally process the birth of Quinn. It was everything I had hoped for and more. I am super proud that I was able to have a completely natural birth without medical intervention and pain relief. Even though I was unable to birth in water I am still pleased with the way I birthed and how it all played out. I am however surprised at how fast it all came on and happened, there was no gradual build up, one minute I was fine and comfortable not feeling anything, then the next it was full on. Being in the unit for the first two days gave me a real sense of enablement and gave my wife and I the opportunity to bond with our little girl with minimal distractions from the outside world. I am so lucky to have had such awesome support from my wife and Sue, they did an amazing job and kept me centred. Giving birth is one of the hardest, but most rewarding, things I have ever done. I am grateful to all that were involved in this journey with me and now look forward to the following journey of raising our New Years gift.
After some time on my knees my midwife asked me to go to the bathroom and then she would asses how far along I was. I sat down on the toilet then felt a pop and a gush, my waters had broken, it was at this point I was 100% sure that I was in labour. My midwife assessed me to be 5 cm and recommended I hop into the pool. I had been waiting for this moment and was looking forward to the ecstasy I was going to feel when I slid into that water. Turns out the pool was not for me. No matter what I tried I could not get comfortable and I would fight against each contraction instead of going with it. After about 30 minutes of trying to make the water work for me the contractions were so intense, I started to question if I was going to be able to handle any more. It was then that I had an over whelming urge to push, at this point my midwife asked me to move to the bed to be assessed again. This time I was 8 cm. ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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FEATURE
15 FUN VALENTINES DAY FAMILY TRADITIONS Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays, because it celebrates the purpose of life. No, not chocolate, LOVE! Parents often ask me how they can find time to deepen their connection with their children, given how busy they are. Because Valentines Day is all about love, it gives you the perfect opportunity to create more love in your family, not only between parent and child, but between siblings. We all need to be cherished. But despite our good intentions, too often we forget to tell the people we love just how precious they are to us. Valentines Day reminds us to tell all of our loved ones (not only our sweethearts) how glad we are that they’re in our lives. Want some simple ideas to celebrate Valentines Day, when you’re too busy, too broke, and maybe even too harried to remember that you really adore these people you live with?
1. Rethink Gifts. Valentines Gifts are NEVER about the item or product. That teaches all the wrong lessons about love. Make this about the heart to heart expressions that build intimacy and connection. That means handmade cards, extra loving time together, or massages, not purchased gifts. If you must buy a gift, choose it using the GIFT test: does it create more Gratitude, Intimacy, Fondness and Trust between you, or does it just impress? In other words, a bottle of inexpensive champagne, some sandwiches, and an invitation to a massage and picnic supper in bed after the kids are asleep meets this test a lot better than jewellry or candy. For kids or adults, try one of the gift ideas below.
2. Alternate gift ideas: A Letter of Appreciation. The best gift of all is always a simple letter to your loved ones detailing how grateful you are to have them in your life. Be as specific as possible; “The way you let me sleep in the morning while you make the kids breakfast” and “The way
you sing off key” are even more satisfying than “You’re lovable,” because the recipient feels seen and appreciated. Don’t worry if it isn’t eloquent. Any heartfelt love letter will be cherished by the recipient much more than a store-bought gift. This isn’t only for your partner; kids feel loved when we notice who they are and what they contribute to us, our family, and the world. Your kids will will reread your letters during tough times. They’ll save them for the rest of their lives. Homemade Valentines. Kids feel loved when we spend time making something for them, rather than buying it. Why not make Valentines? This can be as simple as 15 minutes with red paper, scissors, and magic markers, or as elaborate as a joyful, creative family project for three hours. Need inspiration? There are websites galore. But I usually stick to the simplest: paper hearts with a heartfelt message detailing something you appreciate about the recipient. A gift certificate for a backrub or foot massage every night for a month. Kids feel loved when we listen to them and give them an opportunity to talk through their daily challenges. Every single day, spend 15 minutes snuggling with each child before bed. Not reading, that’s separate. Snuggle time is just chatting, or snuggling companionably. Most kids love a backrub and hand or foot rub. Darkness and impending lights out helps you connect soul to soul. After the month, you’ll realize the gift was really to you, and you won’t be willing to give up your new habit.
3. Breakfast Date Get up a few minutes early so you can enjoy opening each others’ Valentines at breakfast. Be sure to include something heart-shaped or sweet to eat.
4. Let your kids know your love is with them all day ...by tucking little paper hearts with love notes into their backpack, lunch, jacket pocket, etc for them to find throughout the day.
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5. Make the dinner mood festive with a short family dance party Make the dinner mood festive with a short family dance party before dinner. Don’t forget the romantic slow dance for the grown-ups! After the dancing, eat with candles on the table.
(Does the idea of asking for help bother you? It doesn’t have to be God, or even the healing spirit of the universe, that you’re talking to. It could simply be your own deepest wisdom, which is also the heart of love. The interesting thing about asking for help in this way is that, at least in my experience, it always works...although not necessarily as we would have expected.)
6. At dinner, go around the table and give each person a chance to give an appreciation...
8. Spread the love.
to every other family member. They don’t have to be earth-shaking to strengthen relationships. “I appreciate Eli for helping me with my homework....I appreciate Mom for spending special time with me at bedtime....I appreciate Dad for always being cheerful....I appreciate myself for getting out of the house on time in the morning.”
Before Valentines Day, invite your kids’ friends to make Valentines. Good music (their job), delicious snacks (your job) and a digital or instant camera (“Here’s a picture of me making your valentine”) seem to provide enough cool context for tweens and even younger teens to let themselves enjoy this project. In fact, inviting friends always seems to double the fun, whatever their age.
7. Find five minutes to spend by yourself giving thanks for those you love. One at a time, visualize yourself hugging them, and them beaming back at you. Let the infinite tenderness of your love for them wash over you. Ask for help to let go of anything that gets in the way of being close to this person, who is so precious to you.
9. Keep Valentines from past years and decorate the house ...with them for the week before and the week after. Each year you’ll ooh and ah over beautiful ones from the past, and the messy, misspelled hearts from the little ones will become priceless evidence of their past adorableness, which even they will treasure as they get older. For the month of February, your house will be papered with love. Continues page 20
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ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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FEATURE
15 Fun Valentines Day Family Traditions, continues
10. Your kids can make very simple Valentines for their class
from school with treats, and we often make cookies if we can find the time. Be aware that teachers say the red dye is worse than the sugar in setting kids off, and scientists think it is pretty bad for you. Chocolate, on the other hand, is the perfect food, according to the strictly unscientific research I’ve conducted.
11. Make some extra Valentines
13. How about a telephone Valentine chain?
...to pass out as you go through your day. You’ll be amazed whose day you’ll be moved to brighten: the grocer, coworkers, neighbours, a homeless person you pass on the street. And you’ll go home with your own heart glowing and a few sizes larger. You might even just want to leave anonymous Valentines at each neighbor’s door.
Call someone dear to your family and pass the phone around to take turns telling this person you love them. Then ask that person to “Pass it forward” by calling someone they love, asking that person to call another, etc.
...which do so much more to fill kids’ cups than the store-bought “fast-food” ones. Just cut out hearts, or print them out of the computer. Your child can color and decorate and elaborate as much or little as they want.
12. Need lollies to make the day complete? In our house, lollies were never a major part of Valentine’s day, but my kids certainly came home
14. Sound surround yourself with love. This is the day for your Love Song playlist. Skip the heartbroken ones and go straight for celebration, all day long!
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15. Love in Practice. If you’d like your kids to take pride in making the world a better place, Valentines Day is a great opportunity to express love for others by taking Valentines goodies or homemade Valentines to a nursing home, hospital, or soup kitchen. As four wise teachers once said, “In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” However you decide to celebrate, I hope February 14 brings more love into your life. Happy Valentines Day! h t t p : / / w w w. a h a p a r e n t i n g . com/parenting-tools/ traditions/family-valentinerituals
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ISSUE 287 . February | March 2019
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DAD’S LIFE
EARLY FATHERHOOD
One Veteran Dad’s Experience
By Michael Lansbury Early fatherhood is a not-so-exclusive club with minimal requirements for membership. There is no secret handshake, but there is an infinite knowledge base established by millennia of experience. Unfortunately, fatherhood is a definitive case of you-don’t-know-what-youdon’t-know. As new fathers, we usually have to learn by doing, making our own mistakes. No matter how much research we do, how much equipment we acquire, or how carefully we study friends and family, our preconceived notions and best laid plans are quickly shattered by sleep-deprivation and the baffling, sometimes alarming idiosyncrasies of our new infants. Having navigated through my own highly imperfect early fatherhood years three times now, there are certain things I know to be true that I wish someone had clued me into prior to the blessed events. I’m not sure I would have listened at the time, because I did have preconceived notions and needed to learn certain things the hard way. But just in case there are some new dads out there with open minds willing to consider another man’s journey- or just plain desperate for ideas- below are some basics I wish didn’t have to be part of my learning curve:
Surrender Men who embark on this adventure with the misconception that nothing about their lives will change - not the quality of their marital or personal relationships, their leisure activities or social schedules - are setting themselves up for a losing struggle and a world of frustration. Becoming a father changes everything - mostly for the better - but change is inevitable. You say you attend a weekly couple’s night at a local bistro? Take a hiatus. And that goes for bridge (or poker) night, cocktail parties and sporting events. Babies need a quiet, safe place to sleep with minimal disruption or stimulation. There are few places outside of a home environment that offer any of the above. So, my advice is to give it up. You’re a dad now. Accept and embrace it. Get a bottle of wine, a Netflix subscription, and get reacquainted with the couch. Better yet, get some sleep. And speaking of sleep…
Get Some Shut Eye There is nothing more humbling or debilitating than sleep deprivation. The world becomes a very dark, confined place with little hope, and feelings toward your new situation are clouded by frustration, anger, even hatred. When you are sleep deprived, your thoughts are not entirely rational. You are desperate. I will admit that I was so wasted during the first three months with our first born that it occurred to me it might be okay to put the inconsolable child in the closet for a few hours. I admitted that fleeting fantasy to a seasoned father, and he told me: ‘You are absolutely allowed to think that. Insane thinking is fair, reasonable and normal. You just don’t actually do it.”
Share the Pain If you’re working a day job and your bride is pulling full-time mum duty, please know that she is more exhausted than you are. Really. In addition to exhaustion, she is also struggling with hormones run amok. So, either get a relative to do a couple of tours of night duty so you can put together four uninterrupted hours of sleep, or at the very least take turns waking with the infant. In my experience, four hours of interrupted sleep is the magic number to gain some perspective. You’ll realize the change (in both of you) immediately. More importantly, you’ll notice and appreciate what a beautiful, perfect child you’ve brought into the world and look forward to your futures together. 22 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
Embrace Your Role as Backup This is when you make your bones as a husband. While the baby doesn’t particularly need you, your partner does, and in a big way. So, make yourself useful. Shop, cook, clean, massage, soothe, change a few diapers and get used to saying, “yes, my love” with a big smile. Otherwise, mom has it handled. If she is breastfeeding and can stockpile some milk, the greatest gift you can offer is to do a night feeding while she sleeps. You will see the benefits of this selfless act immediately in a refreshed and less homicidal bride.
it’s short-sighted and a totally unnecessary, parentinstigated habit. Why create a habit that is so difficult to break? My first child had a pacifier for about two weeks until my wife got educated on the subject. Subsequently, she (and her siblings) were given the freedom to find their fingers or a thumb so that they could self-soothe, whenever and wherever they chose. The thought of using a pacifier never crossed our collective mind again, and it was never missed. If one of our infants was crying and couldn’t soothe herself, we knew there was something going on that needed to be addressed.
You Don’t Have to Sleep With the Baby
Don’t Be In a Hurry
Yes, co-sleeping works for many families, but this is my opinion based on experience, so I’m sticking to it. I admit there was a period of time when it seemed the cozy, loving and convenient thing to do. What a wonderfully fulfilling sensation to have our new baby sleeping between us. But the novelty wore off as I realized that when one of us awoke, the others would too. This was not a prudent use of precious down time when it was critical that at least one parent was operating at minimum capacity. Furthermore, as our first baby got older, she began expecting comfort milk from my wife every time she stirred, which isn’t a brilliant strategy as you try to develop sleep and feeding routines. It became clear that we were a) disrupting all of our sleep; b) training our child at this impressionable age to always seek comfort outside herself, even for things she was fully capable of doing, like falling asleep; and c) depriving ourselves of any alone time whatsoever. So, the baby was introduced to her crib, where she quickly slept through the night (most of the time).
Your baby’s physical and mental development are not processes that can - or should - be rushed. Each baby is on his or her own unique schedule, and Nature will take its course if we just stay out of the way. Exercisers, flashcards and videos marketed for infants may be highly satisfying entertainment for parents, but messing with Mother Nature (which I’ve written about before here…) is never smart and has the potential to undermine the organic stages of an infant’s development. So sit back, relax, and observe.
Don’t Start with a Pacifier
We’re all enthusiastic as new dads and anxious to do the best for our babies. The most fundamental lessons I learned from fathering my three infants are: a) that our partners need us to share the load; b) that our babies are capable human beings - more so than I ever imagined - that their ability to communicate their needs and figure out how to negotiate their worlds cannot be overestimated; and c) that their needs are simple and basic, albeit totally consuming. So, I have come to believe that the very best we can do is to look after these basic needs and then leave them to experience and investigate their world without our well-meaning interference.
You will notice when your infant cries that if you put something into their mouth they will often stop. In that moment, when all you want is some quiet, it’s a beautiful, quick-fix solution. In the long term, however,
Claire Pope
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PRODUCT REVIEW
FEEDING BABIES AND TODDLERS ON THE MOVE By Cheree Myers
Portable Booster Chair
You’ve just got breast/bottle feeding while out and about sorted and then before you know it it’s time for solids and the headache of adding yet more paraphernalia to your already overflowing nappy bag!. Here are a few things that have made feeding my babies and then toddlers on the go so much easier.
$32
Phil and Teds Lobster Portable High Chair This is a great product when you are out at cafes and restaurants for meals or when travelling. The chair folds down into its own carry bag and also comes with a placemat. The best thing is you can take the fabric part off and put it in the washing machine.
This is a great portable highchair option, it doesn’t require a table to clip onto so great if your a regular picnic adventurer. It can also be sat onto a chair or onto the table itself, so it is very versatile. Tray also detaches to make it a booster at the table for toddlers. Age 6 to 36 months.
Closer to Nature Roll-n-Go bibs $129
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$19
When space is tight these silicone roll up bibs are great. They have a semi rigid pocket at the bottom for collecting (some) of the mess and can also go in the dishwasher (top rack only)
Boon Squirt Spoon
Philips Avent Bendy Straw Cup 300ml I have tried many drink bottles with my three children over the years and I swear by these. They NEVER leak, can be totally taken apart for easy cleaning and last forever especially since you can now buy replacement straws for them. These particular ones are for babies 12 months plus who have mastered sucking through a straw.
$19
Munchkins Stay Put Suction Bowls
$23
As your baby grows older you will discover that one of their favourite things to do during mealtimes is up-end their full bowl of food, usually all over themselves and the floor. These nifty bowls have a suction cup on the bottom and are very hard for babies to prise off (but easy for you). This pack is great because you get three different sizes and these are also dishwasher safe (top rack only)
$18
These refillable spoon/pouch hybrids are great if you make your own baby food. They do only tend to suitable for those babies on purees as once they move onto mashed food the hole gets blocked. Also good for homemade smooth yoghurt too.
Pack-it Freezable Totes These are a great little invention, you place the bag in the freezer the night before and pop your baby food in in the morning and it will stay cold for up to 10 hours. These come in lots of sizes and prints and are great for these hot days we have been having lately.
$32
Wet bag
From
$9
These are a total must have! They are so handy for all sorts, small ones for face cloths to use on the go. Larger ones for wet cloth nappies, dirty clothes, anything you can think of! I’ve also used mine for nature items that my kids have wanted to collect while exploring.
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FAMILY FRIENDLY OUTING
CLOUD 9 TRAMPOLINE PARK 37 Taonui Street, Palmerston North Cloud9palmy.co.nz Open 10am-9pm daily Holiday session 9-10am every Thursday for under 110cm Under 110cm $9 | Over 110cm $14 We visited Cloud 9 Trampoline Park before Christmas to check out what was on offer and were stoked with what we found!
Firstly, they have great off street parking! That’s a bonus when you are unloading multiple kiddos in and out of the car. The staff were super friendly and welcoming, interacting with the kids while we sorted out payment. They didn’t mind us using our Flip City socks which was awesome, any kind of money saving is a win with me!
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And the area to play in is great – there’s a special area for toddlers on the trampolines with soft toys and balls, lots of trampoline spaces for the kids to jump , a foam pit with a ninja obstacle course over it and another bigger area with beams. These areas were a huge hit with the 4 year old who could have happily played here all day if we had let him! We met friends there which was great so we could position ourselves in different areas and watch each other’s kids, although it is quite open plan so it’s easy to keep an eye out. We spent a good hour jumping, climbing, balancing, throwing and laughing as we explored the vast activity spaces on offer. When we needed a wee snack break we sat at the tables and the toddler could play in a wee fenced area so we could see him but still relax knowing he couldn’t escape. They didn’t mind that we had snacks for the kids and served us coffee, which was tasty!
The promo on that day was kids got to meet Santa and part of the entry fee was a free fluffy and muffin for kids, they loved this and were super excited to meet Santa who gave them a wee treat too. Then it was back on the trampolines and ninja course to see how much more exploring we could do. It was challenging for a 3 and 4 year old and the 15 month old was definitely entertained and I could see how older children and even adults could utilise the equipment in different ways to be challenging and enjoyable – it really did have something for everyone and was a great place to spend the morning. They take small group bookings, larger group bookings, corporate team building events and host birthday parties, everything is on their website for you to peruse!
As part of the Kind Hearts Movement
d n i K ea ts H
has bestowed a random act of kindness upon
Sarah Schnell You will each receive a free coffee voucher! Don’t forget to pay it forward! Streetwise Coffee Cart, Rangitikei Street, Palmerston North
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HEALTH
IRON-RICH LENTILS FOR LITTLIES By Mairie Fromont - Naturopath New research this year is highlighting the fact that current world food production is unsustainable in terms of supporting the global human population and the environment (www.thelancet.com/ commissions/EAT). The two issues of human and environmental health are connected and caused by the same underlying problems; industrial food production and urban lifestyle patterns. In the future, more sustainable food production patterns will be moving away from high levels of meat consumption, particularly beef, to more vegetarian options. In New Zealand we are incredibly fortunate to have grass-fed beef farmed on our back doorstep, and it’s a favourite source of protein and iron for many kids. Beef is rich in haem iron, the sort that is readily absorbed and utilised by our bodies. Children from 7 months to 10 years old ideally need around 10mg of iron each day. Iron deficiency (anaemia) is a common problem, and one of the groups at highest risk are infants under 2 years old. The negative effects of iron deficiency are due largely to the impaired delivery of oxygen (as haemoglobin) to tissues throughout the body, resulting in low energy and immunity. In children, iron is essential for brain development and learning.
to digest than red meat. This is important because poorly digested food is detrimental to intestinal health, impeding nutrient absorption. The gut is our immune system’s first line of defence, and lentils, like most other vegetables, are packed with fibre, which promotes a balanced gut flora, and strengthens immune resilience against common tummy bugs, colds and flu. Lentils also tick many boxes for being high in protein, Vitamin Bs and minerals, so for a more sustainably produced food, they can offer great peace of mind. As legumes, lentils should be soaked in water overnight to reduce their phytate content. They are a high FODMAP food and so best introduced slowly with other neutral foods, such as carrot and brown rice, to avoid gas buildup and loosening of stools. My favourite way to serve them to my family is as a 50/50 blend with mince in Shepherd’s Pie, which you can see below. I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!
Brown lentils are a great iron-rich alternative to red meat, and can be introduced to them as solids at the same time or earlier than ground or pureed beef. The two foods have a similar colour, taste and texture, and complement each other well, making it easy to blend them together in a dish. Lentils actually contain more iron than beef (6mg per cooked cup for lentils vs 3mg for mince). Their iron is non-haem, and requires Vitamin C to convert it to the type utilised by our bodies, however, this can be easily achieved by adding cooked broccoli to children, which is rich in Vitamin C. Lentils are low allergenic, well tolerated by most children, and easier for them 28 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
RECIPE
HEALTHY SHEPHERD’S PIE Serves 4 Ingredients:
100gms minced beef 1 cup brown lentils (soaked overnight) 1 small carton Campbells vegetable stock 1 small onion 1 tin chopped tomatoes in puree (I like Watties Savoury tomatoes) 1 stick celery (chopped) 1 carrot (grated) 1 zucchini (grated) A handful of button mushrooms (chopped) 1 cauliflower, chopped into large chunks 2 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp butter
Instructions:
In a medium sized pot, boil the lentils in water for 50 minutes until soft and mushy, drain and set aside. Refill the pot with water and boil the cauliflower chunks for 30 minutes until also soft. In a heavy based frying pan, add the olive oil, and brown the onions and mince meat over a medium heat. Then add cooked lentils, vegetable stock, tinned tomatoes and other vegetables. Simmer on a moderate heat for 40 minutes until flavours have merged.
Mash the cauliflower with butter separately in the pot, and then dollop over the top of the lentil & mince mixture in the frying pan. Place under a hot grill for 5-10 minutes to crisp up the cauliflower topping. Ready to serve. This can be pureed for infants. A double batch can be kept in the fridge for dinner two nights in a row, and it also makes a quick, tasty breakfast topped with a poached egg.
Congratulates
Natalya Duindam For winning a Treatment, Cut and Blowwave for being a current Palmerston North Patents Centre member Ph: 358 4010 | Hotel Coachman,134 Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North | thehaircompany.co.nz Open Mon - Sat, late nights Tues and Thur
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CRAFT
PHOTO CANVAS
with baby photos or holiday photos! With all those photos you’ve taken over the Christmas holidays and all those baby photos you probably already have, but haven’t managed to do anything with yet, this is the perfect craft activity to give a whirl! I like this idea because we all have so many photos that are stored away on our laptop and hardly ever looked at. So this solves that problem pretty cheaply.
What you’ll need: • Canvas or wood. (any size to reflect your photo’s size) • Mod Podge Photo transfer or gel medium (sold at Warehouse stationary) • Photos copied onto normal printing paper ( be careful to check sizes, so that your photos don’t pixelate) • Soft brush (foam) • Wet tea towel. • Time...takes 24 hours to dry
Step by step instructions: 1. Print off any picture you want, be sure to check size of image… bigger photos need higher resolution, so make sure to use a good camera. 2. Get your canvas or wood ready. 3. Using Mod Podge to coat the wood or canvas, then lay the picture on top. Try to smooth out any bubbles ( a good tool is a wallpaper brush or foam). If you do get imperfections these can make the artwork look aged, which can look effective. Leave to dry overnight. 4. Once it has dried thoroughly, use a wet tea towel to dampen the paper and slowly and carefully start rubbing in a circular motion - this will cause the paper to come off in tiny bits. If you used wood you can lightly sandpaper the edges of the paper to give it a distressed look. 5. You can seal your picture with Mod Podge. If you used wood you can paint some eye hooks and use ribbon as a hanger.
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Hire a Tens Machine Hire a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine to help reduce your pain during labour and childbirth. Palmerston North Parents Centre (PNPC) has five TENS machines available for hire by our members for ONLY $20 for up to four weeks’ hireage (plus a $40.00 refundable bond). Machines can be booked for the two weeks prior to your due date until two weeks post due date. Watch a video interview with a TENS machine expert at youtube.com/ watch?v=4gUEtYAqPw8 Book your TENS Machine from: Junior Kids Store, 23 Broadway Ave, Ph 06 354 5516, info@juniorkidsstore.co.nz, Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm › Sat 9.30am - 4pm. Please pay by cash and bring your PNPC Membership card. Full terms and conditions on our Facebook page: facebook.com/PNorthPC
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COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUPS Across Te Kotahitanga O Te Wairua We can provide a range of social services which include: Counselling, Family support (including respite care for children), Parenting advice/information and programmes, Advice on other services available for parents and families. Contact: Graeme on (06) 356 7486 or visit www.across.org.nz Allergy New Zealand Support groups are a great way to meet others in a similar situation to you. They are very relaxed, informal sessions to share ideas, discuss your concerns, and get information and resources. Our regional support group is there to help put you in contact with others, to provide you with information such as those all important recipes, and to listen when you need someone to talk to. They are not medically qualified but can refer your queries on and seek information on your behalf. For further information phone 0800 34 0800 or visit www.allergy.org.nz Babywearers Manawatu This is a great way to try different carriers while finding a carrier that suits you and your baby. Babywearers Manawatu Sling Library is on most Wednesdays 12 pm - 1 pm (check FB for up to date info) at Palmerston North Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave Street, Palmerston North. Membership is one off payment of $10 and carrier hire costs $5 for one week.https://www.facebook.com/groups/ babywearersmanawatu/ Brain Injury Association Central Districts We provide advocacy information and support for people with brain injury, their families, whanau and carers. For more information call (06) 354 3540. Breastfeeding Help An IBCLC (often called lactation consultant) is a breastfeeding specialist qualified to prevent, recognise, and resolve breastfeeding problems. All members of NZCLA hold the professional qualification of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Any mother, family member or health professional interested in obtaining the contact details of an IBCLC can phone 0800 4 LACTATION (0800 452 282) during daytime hours. HOPE An opportunity for parents of premature babies to meet and chat and to offer hope and support to those who currently have babies in the Neo-Natal Unit. Graduates welcome. Held at: Plunket Family Centre, 42 Albert Street, Palmerston North. Monday 1pm – 2.30pm. Contact: Karlyn Sullivan-Jones (06) 353 0663 or karlynandmark@xnet.co.nz Itchy Kids A national support group for parents and whanau who care for children with eczema and allergies. For more information contact Sarah Hartley 027 333 7385 or email hartleyfamilynz@gmail.com or visit itchykids.org.nz La Leche League coffee group 3rd Tuesday of every month at 10am, all welcome. Contact Jo Walsh 0273818546 for location Manawatu Toy Library Now located at 200 Church Street, Palmerston North, this fabulous toy library has a collection of over 2000 toys. Our members include families, carers, and educational groups. We have toys suitable for babies 5+ months through to school age children. Membership costs $95 per annum or $60 for six months. You are welcome to visit to see what we offer. To find out more, including opening hours: manawatutoylibrary.nz, or call 027 364 6911. Manawatu Down Syndrome Association Regional contact is Andrea Wales (06) 356 1767.
Manawatu Home Birth Association Offering information, advice and support to women and their families seeking to birth their babies at home. Birth pools and other equipment available for hire. Library, sibling kits, and bimonthly newsletters also available. Call (06) 356 BABY (06 356 2229) for more information. Manline Manline services are unique in that we are the only “men helping men” organisation in the Manawatu and Tararua region offering services for men to explore issues within their lives. Our programs are designed to be educational, developmental, rehabilitative, and preventative. http://www.manline.co.nz/home or 06 358 1211 Miscarriage Support Miscarriage can be a very lonely experience and is often not talked about. Miscarriage support groups have produced quality information and pamphlets for women/couples who may need information and support. These invaluable resources can be downloaded from miscarriage.org.nz Methodist Social Services Offering free programmes for primary/intermediate aged children and their parents/caregivers, around the areas of anger management, grief loss and change, and confidence building. We also offer family, couple, and individual counselling, and have both male and female counsellors available. Advocacy and social work support services are provided along with an emergency food service. For all enquiries, please call 06 350 0307, 663 Main Street, Palmerston North. Palmerston North Breastfeeding support group We provide a relaxed place to come and ask questions about breastfeeding and parenting , we hold regular meeting on the first Monday of the month at ACROSS, 294a Church Street, Palmerston North at 10 am. We have a library with a wide range of books relating to breastfeeding and parenting. http://www. lalecheleague.org.nz/palmerston-north or https://www.facebook. com/PNbreastfeedingsupport/ Parent to Parent Supporting families of children with a special need, health impairment, or disability. For more information please phone (06) 355 0787or email manawatu@parent2parent.org.nz Parentline 24 Hour Crisis Line. Offering help and support for parents 24 hours a day. Phone 0800 4 FAMILY. Plunket Education Services For parent education classes please contact the Plunket family centre in Albert Street, Palmerston North, (06) 356 7248 for more information regarding classes in 2016. Reflux Support Contact: Sharon 354 7280 Sands A voluntary group who have lost babies before, during or after birth. They can provide first hand support, guidance, and information on miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn death. Further information and support can be found by contacting Shaun and Gaylene Vivian (06) 356 9715 or visiting sands.org.nz Supergrans Manawatu Charitable Trust Supergrans Manawatu is all about helping people help themselves. A service to all to brush up on the basic skills needed to provide for oneself or for a family. Our motto is not a ‘do it for you today’ it is a ‘help you to do it tomorrow’ concept. This is a free service. It is concerned with encouraging better skills in those everyday tasks around the home that sustain life. We work with you in your own home. Phone (06) 354 3804 or 021 0669 442 for further information.
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MEMBER DISCOUNTS
10% OFF
FREE! Address labels with any birth announcement, thank you cards until 30/12/18
Coleman Mall, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 1976
GRANT IRVINE PHARMACY
10% OFF 168 Albert Street, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 8782
10% OFF Preggy tummy and baby hand or foot casts Call Carolyn Ph: 06 353 7153
PRECIOUS MEMORIES
$10 OFF Present this coupon and receive $10 off a framed sculpture. Ph: Katte 06 329 3262 or visit www.preciousmemories.co.nz
FREE TEA OR COFFEE Receive a free tea or coffee with the purchase of food. 95 the Square, Palmerston North
HAIR TRANSFORMER
15% OFF Discounted, low ratio childcare – For 30 hours WAIVED weekly admin & placement fees
TV aerial/satellite installer
10% OFF All current PNPC members receive 10% off labour only Call Now for a FREE Quote Robert Torok Ph: 06 354 5664 or 027 294 3972
Link Arcade, Broadway Avenue Palmerston North Ph: 06 358 1309
$10 OFF All current PNPC members receive $10 off, offer cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Sharlene Adkins (t) 06 355 4939 (e) sharlene@smallp.com (m) 021 185 2064. www.smallp.com
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PLAYGROUPS IN YOUR AREA Plunket Family Centre Playgroup
ASHHURST
Ashhurst Playcentre
AWAPUNI/WESTEND Kingston St Chapel
CENTRAL
42 Albert Street
021-808-340
Mondays & Fridays 10am to 12noon
118 Standford Street
326 9270
Mon to Thurs 9am - 12pm
Kingston St
358 0716
Tues & Thurs 9am- 11:30am
Crossroads Early Childhood Salvation Army Rudolf Steiner Seventh Day Adventist Church Playgroup with Hope
220 Church St 358 0669 cnr Church & Princess Sts 358 7455 187 Ruahine St 354 4514 257 Ferguson St 282 Cuba Street (opposite Briscoes) Contact: Heather 027 334 9981
Mon to Fri 9am to 12noon Thurs 9:30am to 11am Tues 9:30am - 12noon & Thu 2pm -3:30pm Wed 9:30 to 11:00am Tuesday 9.30-11.30am playgroup@hopevineyard.nz
FEILDING Feilding Playcentre Community Fielding Playcentre Doodlebugs SPACE Bright Sparks Preschool Programme
254A Kimbolton Rd 42 North St Knox Hall, North St 22 Bowen St Feilding Library
323 6100 323 1918 323 7240 323 7221 323 5373
Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Thurs 9am to 11:30am Contact for more details Wed 10:30am to 11:30am
12-32 Brentwood Ave
358 2255
Fri 8:30am to 12noon
339 Albert St Huia St extn
357 9411 357 0791
Wed 9:30am to 10:30am Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri 9am - 12noon
HIGHBURY
Te Aroha Noa Community Services
HOKOWHITU
St Albans Church Park Road Playcentre
LINTON
Linton Playgroup
MILSON
Milson Playcentre
OPIKI
Opiki Playgroup
ROSLYN/KELVIN GROVE
Kelvin Grove Salvation Army Church on Vogel Plunket Roslyn Over 1’s Coffee Group
Linton Camp (Community Centre) 3519970
Mon & Wed 9am to 11:30am
1a Seaforth Ave
Mon, Wed & Fri 9am-12noon
356 9824
St Andrews Church, Main Road
Tues 10am to 12noon
99-103 Kaimanawa St 127 Vogel St 177 Vogel Street
Wed 9:30am to 11:30am Wed 9:30am to 12noon Wednesdays 9.30am to 11am
353 0917 357 7336 021-808-340
RONGOTEA
Te Kawau Playcentre Medway St 324 8246
SANSON
Sanson Playcentre
TERRACE END
St David‘s Presbyterian Church Terrace End Playcentre
Mon to Thurs 9:15am to 12:15pm, Fri 11:45am to 2:45pm
2 Philipps St
329 3503
Tues and Fri 9am to 12noon
Cnr Main & Rainforth 77 Ruamahanga Cres
358 3246 0221400610
Tues 10:00am to 11:30am Wed, Thu, Fri 9.30am to 12.30 school term
SPECIALIST GROUPS
La Leche League 355 3104 Manawatu Multiple Birth Club Kingston St Church 357 9773 Parent 2 Parent Special Needs Matipo St 355 0787 ABCD early intervention group 9 Woburn Place 0800 693 724 - Down Syndrome French for Preschoolers 1st floor, 47 the Square 021 207 0114 Spanish Class – 2 yrs and up 355 8257 Plunket Bhutanese Playgroup 25 Franklin Ave 3574844 Book Bubs baby book club PN Library
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Contact for more details Every 2nd Wed,10am 1st and 3rd Tues each month, 1-3pm Once a month on Thurs 10am to 12noon Fri 3.30pm to 4.30pm Contact for further details Mon 12.30 – 2.30pm Thursday 10.30 – 11 am fortnightly.
PREGGY TO PRESCHOOL GARAGE SALE
Date: Saturday 29th April 2017 Time: 9.00am – 11.00am Place: Central Baptist Church, 190 Church Street (Opposite the Fire Station) Come along for great bargains on new & used baby/children’s clothes, toys, books, nursery equipment, maternity wear and more!
old Coin Entry – This is a fundraising event for Parents Centre
ok a table online at www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz
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