Palmy Parent Magazine August/September 2022 Issue 308

PALMY PARENT PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz

August / September . 2022

BEING BILINGUAL

HOW TO GET BREASTFEEDING OFF TO A GREAT START

EATING FOR A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP

Interested in volunteering?

We need you!

Join a committee of amazing volunteers and gain experience while giving back to our community!

• E-communications & Marketing • Fundraising & Events • Magazine contributors • General committee members For more information please email us at info@palmyparentcentre.org.nz

Editor’s Note

Hello again everyone!

Hope you are all still hanging in there despite the cold, windy, stormy weather we’ve had lately!

Our family has had its fair share of the coughs, colds and tummy bugs going around this winter so will be keen to see some warmer weather if not at least slightly longer (and hopefully drier) days come spring.

Lots of interesting reads in this issue - we’ve got a focus on Breastfeeding to coincide with Breastfeeding Week which is 1-7th August, along with some fun articles to celebrate Maori Language week September 13-19.

We also have some thought evoking articles on motherhood, some BF fashion ideas and some great information on how nutrition impacts our sleep.

Advertise in Palmy Parent Palmerston North Parents Centre has a circulation of over 250 magazines per issue. These are sent to all current members as well as Plunket, midwives and other community groups.

Our rates are extremely competitive and we would love your support by way of an advertisement.

Also, in addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six adverts per annum.

For more information contact our Business Relations Officer by email at: palmyparent@hotmail.com One-off price

4 per year

6 per year

Quarter page

$50

4 x $40

6 x $35

Half page

$80

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6 x $55

Full page

$120

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6 x $80

Insert or flyer

$130

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In addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six half or full-page adverts per annum

We are always on the lookout for new contributors - for our birth stories, local interest, motherhood, health - anything goes! If you or anyone you know might be interested send us an email to palmyparenteditor@gmail.com - we would love to hear from you!

Thanks!

Rowena and the Parents Centre Team palmyparenteditor@gmail.com

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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Contents

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Editor’s Note PNPC Seminars & Events Book Review: The Cats of Paia Street What’s On Music & Movement Poem: Thank You You’re not alone, Mama Feature: How to get breastfeeding off to a great start Birth Story: Mason Vaughan Hinton Feature: The Slippery Slope Of Mummy Self-Doubt Brainwave: Being Bilingual Health and Wellbeing: Eating for a Good Nights Sleep Product Review: Breastfeeding clothes Feature: Whangai Ora Milk Bank Recipe: My Kids Lick the Bowl - Lactation Cookies Family Friendly Outing: Flat Hills

PRIZE DRAWS:

Got Something to Share?

Want to share some helpful advice or a great book you’ve read? Let us know and we’ll share it with our members. Or, if you would like to have your baby’s photos printed, write about your birth experience, review a book or a family friendly venue you have visited recently, we’d love to hear from you!

Email the Editor at: palmyparenteditor@gmail.com

Enter our every issue prize draws, find out if you were our winner last issue?

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Bruce McKenzie Book Draw The Hair Company Hair Cut Kind Hearts, Streetwise Coffee

Contributors

Rowena Dorn, Tara Parkes, Brainwave, Ella Diprose, Jacquie Nutt, Jessie Osland, Alex Cameron, Georgia Bradley, Jessica Ulrich, Tamra Petterson, Pinky Mckay,AHA Parenting, Amie Brown, Ashleigh Hinton, Laura Wenden Green

Cover photo credit

By Toni L a r s e n P hot ogr a phy - L i ncol n H a m i l t on ( a ge 3 ) Contributed by Shinkal Hamilton

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PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

Committee News Te n a k o u t o u k a t o a

We had our first Preggy to Preschool garage sale in what seemed like forever!

Thank you to those who brought their goods to sell and those who braved the cold and came along to snatch up some awesome bargains!

Mission statement Positive birth experiences and informed parenting in a community where parents are supported and highly valued in their role.

To our committee members Jasmine Burrows, Sarah Taylor, and Desiree Harvey who stepped down at and before our recent AGM in June, thank you for your tireless voluntary contribution to Palmy Parents Centre - we appreciate you bundles.

We are looking for potential new Committee Members who are interested in volunteering in some fabulous roles, supported by our awesome Committee.

These roles include: •

Fundraising and Events coordinator

•

E-Comms coordinator

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

•

Magazine sub-committee members

FACEBOOK.COM/PNORTHPC

If you are interested, please contact us by email info@palmyparentscentre.org. nz

Disclaimer: Opinions and articles in this magazine do not necessarily reflect Parents Centre NZ policy. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centre.

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

Kia pai te wiki J e s s i e & P a l m y P a r e n t s C e n t r e Te a m

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Members’ Offers: Unique Beginnings

www.thesleepstore.co.nz

with Rebecca Robinson

Birth preparation & beyond, Lactation Consultant support

www.uniquebeginnings.co.nz

5% OFF all services

ph: 021 066 0394

20%OFF

Enter the coupon code PARENTS20 at the checkout to SAVE on selected items at The Sleep Store To see which items you can apply the discount to visit www.thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre Visit www.thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre for further details & exclusions on this offer. Coupon applies to selected items listed on this webpage, Offer cannot be used with coupons, vouchers, discounts, 2-pack offers or combo deals. Cannot be used on shipping fee or other brand items, gift cards or in conjunction with any other offer or discount. The Sleep Store reserves the right to update or amend this offer at any time.

10% off all full priced Items (must show membership card)

117 Ruahine St, Palmerston North | 06-280 3370

Pay no booking fee when enrolling with Puddleducks if parents centre member ($50 saving)

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PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

PNPC Seminars & Events August & September To book any of our seminars head to : www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/Calendar/

Feeding Under 5s Sunday 7th August 10am Is dinner time a battle? Worried your little one doesn’t eat enough or too much, or isn’t getting the nutrients they need? Won’t eat vegetables or try anything new? Are they always whining for snacks or sweets?

Join Registered Dietitian Megan Somerville for insights and practical strategies to help grow happy, healthy eaters.

Cost: $6 members; $12 non-members.

Infant CPR Friday 12th August This short course will cover baby and Infant CPR , choking, burns, convulsion, fevers, illness warning signs and accidental ingestion of toxins.

• Small class sizes • Qualified Facilitator • Baby friendly Cost : $6 per person for Parents Centre members and $12 per person for non members

B aby Sign Seminar Monday 22nd August 7pm - 8pm Bridget is an experienced speech and language therapist based in Auckland who runs baby sign workshops online. She aims to make signing a fun and easy way for you and your baby to communicate.

Join us from the comfort of your own home for a 1hr zoom session with Bridget that will help you • start using signs • provide you with suggestions and strategies to encourage both language and signing • empower you to continue on your journey at home.

Cost : Free to attend

Blame in on their Brains - Hot Topic Seminar held Wednesday 24th August at 7.30pm In this hot topic we will look at how our kids’ developing brains influence their behaviour and how we can use this knowledge to help our children.

Presented by Tabitha Jonson-Mum, Parenting facilitator, meteor and coach (BA,GDip Tchg) • OPEN DISCUSSION • SMALL GROUP SIZE • PRACTICAL STRATEGIES Cost : This seminar is free to attend, however spaces are limited so registration is essential.

Online Responsive Parenting Course held via Zoom Run over 6 Sunday evenings 7.30-9pm Sunday September 11th, 18th, 25th and October 2nd, 9th, 16th.

Palmerston North Parents Centre’s Responsive Parenting Course is designed to encourage, support and equip families with positive, nonpunitive strategies for the parenting journey.

The course comprises six workshops based on international research and best practice in the area of gentle parenting.

Cost : $20 per person or $35 per couple

To register please see our website: http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ All seminars and events can be found in our calendar on the website.

For any queries please email: info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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BOOK REVIEW

The Cats of Paia Street Words by Amiria Stirling Illustrations by Sarah Illingworth Available at Bruce McKenzie booksellers on George St for $20.00 https://bmbooks.co.nz/product/cats-of-paia-street/

Come along and check out the pets of Paia Street - Brucie, Naaki and Wuruhi! A bit of glitz, glamour and martial arts - something for everyone in this fun story. There is a good use of rhyme and alliteration which flows really nicely making it an easy and fun read for all the family.

Beautifully illustrated with a lot of detail makes this book not just one for reading but also plenty to look at, point out and discuss afterwards which makes for an all round great book!

BOOK GIVEAWAY Be in to win this issue’s reviewed book!

Just follow these 3 easy steps!

Entries for the next draw must be received by: 20th September

2022

That’s all!

The winner’s name will be printed in the next issue of the Palmy Parent and the winner can collect their book from the Palmy Parent Centre.

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Congratulations to:

To enter the draw to win this issue’s book, email your name, with ‘Book Giveaway’ in the subject line to: info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz

Tayla Jones & Tyrone Smith Household

who has won a copy of ‘Me and My Quirks’

Contact

info@palmyparents centre.org.nz to collect

your book!

The children’s book reviewed above has been generously donated

by Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North to give away to a lucky Parents Centre Member.

Bruce McKenzie’s Booksellers is situated in George Street beside the entrance to the Palmerston North Library. Bruce McKenzie’s carries an enormous range of books from children’s to specialist non-fiction and is definitely worth a visit.

If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask the staff who are always willing to help.

PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

What’s On...

Father’s Day Rides

Sunday 4 September 2022 1:00pm – 4:00pm (weather permitting) The Victoria Esplanade, 1 Palm Drive, West End 4410 w w w. e v e n t f i n d a . c o . n z / 2 0 2 2 / fathers-day-rides/palmerstonnorth Not Fathers: $3.00 each / Under 2 years are free

Palmerston North City Library - Interactive Play Station Kit Through the school term there are a series of caregiver led interactive stations set up at Palmerston North Library as part of there Pre-School Programme.

https://citylibrary.pncc.govt.nz/ whats-on?age=preschool

All dads ride for free on the railway during Father’s Day, with a paying passenger.

Come and play with our interactive kit on our ‘Play Station’ bench in our First Floor Parenting area. Its full of themed fun things to do, with 6 different kits rotating over 3 weeks. This is caregiver led play so you and your younger ones can have some fun playing games, making things, dressing up, wearing masks, telling stories and more.

See our Facebook page for more information.

Palmerston North City Library - First Floor Parenting Area

www.facebook.com/Trains.NZ

DIGGIN DINO’S

Treat dad to the perfect present for Father’s Day, a free ride on the Esplanade Scenic Railway

We have dinosaurs with some kinetic sand for them to play in, dino matching games, act like a dinosaur game and more!

9am- 12:30pm on the following Tuesdays: 9th, 30th August, 20th September

TEDDY BEAR PICNIC

You can bring your own special teddy bear along and make them a nice cup of tea and maybe a sandwich .

9am- 12:30pm on the following Fridays, 12th August, 2nd and 23rd September

NATURE AND ANIMALS!

Do you know your animals? Play some fun games and find out! Be a bug, play a bug game, guess the vegetable and more!

9am- 12:30pm on the following Friday, 19th August, 9th and 30th September

ON THE MOVE!

Our ‘On the Move’ kit has lots of wheelie cool things. Drive, play, make and go!!

9am- 12:30pm on the following Tuesdays, 23rd August, 13th September

DRESSUPS!

Who will you be today? Dress up yourselves or one of our cute laminated animals 9am- 12:30pm on the following Fridays, 5th, 26th August, 16th September 2022

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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FEATURE

Music & Movement brings back such wonderful memories. My girls are now 9, 6 and 4 and still thoroughly enjoy music and dancing; expressing their individuality through movement and singing is by far their favourite thing to do.

My girls inspire me to create each song set for the following term; keeping the songs relatively consistent throughout the term can help the littlies learn and become comfortable with the words, actions, and rhythm. Some tamariki take a while to peep out of their shell, so this is perfect for them to ease into the sessions. Although I keep our sessions consistent, I love to throw in song requests, making our sessions extra fun.

We have a few song favourites within our whare and some I have collected over the years of facilitating music sessions for preschoolers. I would love to share with you below a few of these that you can do and share with your tamariki at home too.

A great way to introduce te reo Māori within your whare is through waiata. The repetitive nature of songs are excellent for helping to improve your own te reo Māori pronunciation. I myself am always learning and love to introduce these songs during my Music & Movement sessions.

By Jessie Osland Tēnā koutou katoa. I’m Jessie and I am the new Music & Movement Facilitator - I am very grateful for this opportunity to watch tamariki grow, learn, and experience new sounds, songs and rhythms.

Seeing their little faces when they hear the music whilst engaging their senses with things like the scarves, shakers, claves and bubbles, never gets old for me. It takes me right back to when each of my three tamariki were little, remembering them feeling the sounds as we would listen to song after song, jiggling and bobbing around just

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Tēnā koe - Hello to one; this is a song helps with saying hello to one or more than one person in te reo Māori, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=qbdwsG2RReM Pakipaki, tamariki ma; this song is an awesome, fun and interactive action song that gets tamariki up and moving and learning the kupu Māori for actions. Miss Nicky shows the actions in the song link: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=nsHreGqxNoc Tohorā nui; this is a song about a big whale, here is a link:

PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

THANK YOU https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=XPXvcSKCXr0 These are the actions that we use to go along with the song: Tohorā nui (stretch arms out to the sides) Tohorā roa (Stretch arm in front of your and one behind) Tohorā tino mōmona! (stretch arms out to the sides and wobble arms up and down to mimic a fat tummy) Tohorā puapua (Mimick water coming out of a spout on top of your head with both hands) Whiore piupiu e (Put both hands together behind you to mimick a swishing tail) Tohorā kau roto te moana e (mimick swimming)

By Jessica Ulrich Thank you for standing by me watching what I’ve gone through.

I forget sometimes through teary eyes that you’ve had to go through it too.

The labor and the birth while that pain was mine.

Your hand was never far away Your eyes never so wide.

My fear of being a new mother.

The onset of baby blues.

All the while you stayed strong for me while you were fearful too.

The early days of breastfeeding.

The trials and the tears.

You were always helping with the latch while I was screaming in your ear.

See sometimes I forget, as hard as it was on me You had to watch me in this pain As you sat there helplessly.

Trying to remember things from antenatal Taking turns getting up in the night Feeling the fog of the fourth trimester In your own given right.

The daily battles I have at home Which you feel as you walk in the door.

But always with a smile and open arms Taking the weight off me once more.

You’ve seen me raw and at my limit.

You’ve seen me vulnerable and small.

All the while you’ve remained my rock And loved me through it all.

You don’t sit on the sidelines Instead you sit by my side While we learn this all together On this beautiful but bumpy ride.

Even though you say sometimes You don’t know what you can do.

You’ve done it without even knowing for being their father and just being you.

Words: ‘From One Mom to a Mother’ poetry book and words available on Etsy for print (in different versions) Reprinted with permission from Jess Urlichs Jess Urlichs, Writer ‘From One Mom to a Mother’ poetry book www.jessicaurlichs.com/shop Words available on Etsy https://www.etsy.com/nz/listing/1129216165/ thank-you-poem-for-your-partner-original

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FEATURE

You’re not alone, Mama

By Tamra Pettersen I am swimming with my boys at the Lido on a Saturday. My husband is encouraging my 4-year-old son to kick his legs as he holds him in the water. I am carrying my 20-monthold son, trying to play with him, but his eyes are glued on my husband, and he is reaching for him and crying “Dadda!” My husband and I try to take turns and switch the boys over, but as he comes close to me and tries to hand my 4-year-old over to me, he starts screaming “No!” and clings to my husband. “I want to stay with daddy!” he yells.

We are having lunch with a group of friends one Sunday, and my 4-year-old won’t let my husband leave his sight. But soon he begins playing with the other children and is outside kicking a ball. My husband is asked to hold a friend’s baby, and as soon as the girl is in my husband’s arms, my 20-month-old bolts to where we are and pulls on my husband’s pant legs. Tears are forming into his eyes as he says “Dadda!

Hold me!” My husband passes the baby to me as I am standing next to him, and he picks up my son who gives him a big hug and smile. He doesn’t mind that I’m holding the baby as long as Daddy isn’t.

I don’t know if anyone else relates to these two scenarios, but I never imagined that as a mum of small children, I would feel as rejected as I did during those moments. I always imagined that children wanted their mother when they were small. But for me, this has not been the case. My oldest has been a daddy’s boy from the beginning. Of course he loves me and wants me to comfort him, but if my husband and I are both around, he will almost always choose to go to my husband if he is hurt, if he wants to play, or even if he has a question. I was hopeful my youngest would be a mommy’s boy, but sadly he has followed in his brother’s

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footsteps, and I am the odd one out most of the time.

I see all of these funny videos on Facebook about how mothers never get a break and that even when dads are home, the kids always go to the mom and ask her for things and follow her into the bathroom. But for me, this is not reality. On the weekends, my husband is the one who never gets a break. If it’s his day to sleep in, the boys whine and cry and ask for him all morning until he is up (that is if they haven’t snuck away already and gone into his bedroom). But if I’m the one who is away or sleeping in the bedroom, they seem to be happy staying in the lounge because they have Dad. When my husband goes to the bathroom, he’ll close the door, but the boys stand outside and wait for him or knock on the door, saying “Dad! Are you done?”

Now, I am SO thankful for my husband, and I know I am blessed to have him. He is an amazing dad to my boys, and they are lucky to have a father who is fun and present. And I recognise that he is not with them as often as I am, so the boys love having time with him when they can. And I know it would be exhausting if my boys clung to me all the time and I never had a break. I should be thankful. But if I’m being honest, I feel rejected by my boys a lot and that I’m their second choice. And it makes me feel like I must be a bad mum because when I look around, other kids seem to be content with their mums even when dad is around and do not seem to fight over dad like my boys do. It makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong. Why do my boys not want me?

In the moments at the lido and at our friends’ house, I felt so unwanted, and I never thought I could feel that way as a mother. I did not think being a mum was going to be easy before I had kids. I knew it would be hard work, but I did not know it would be so emotional. I would do anything for my boys, and I love them so much that even the thought of anything bad happening to them makes me want to cry. So, it’s hard to feel rejected, it’s hard to feel like all your love is not reciprocated sometimes, and it really hurts because they don’t even understand that they’re hurting your feelings.

My 4-year-old has even said things like “Dad is my favourite.” And it literally breaks my heart.

But he doesn’t sincerely apologise because that’s just how he feels, and he can’t yet fully empathize with me.

PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

So many times, I’ve had these feelings and thought that I must be the only mother who feels this way, but of course I’m not. We’re human, and we all feel sad, unloved, scared, undervalued and guilty at times, no matter what it looks like on the outside. You may not have the same experiences that I do, but I think we all have moments as mothers that make us feel small, and if we dwell on them too

long, they can take us to a dark place. The one thing that has helped me not sink into a deep hole when these feelings surface is chatting to other mums about it and being open and honest about how hard motherhood can be.

Often, I think I must be silly to feel this way, and then I will talk to someone and find out they have struggled with the same thing. But in this area with feeling like a second choice, I

Congratulates

Natasha Hinch Household For winning a Treatment, Cut and Blowwave for being a current Palmerston North Patents Centre member Ph: 358 4010 | Hotel Coachman,134 Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North | thehaircompany.co.nz Open Mon - Sat, late nights Tues and Thur

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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found it hard to find mothers who could relate.

When I finally did find one, it was so refreshing and encouraging to know that I wasn’t the only mum who seemed to have only daddy’s boys/girls.

So, I wanted to write about it in case there are others who understand, if others need to be reminded that you are loved, valued, and seen. Even if you don’t feel that every day, you are. And you’re definitely not the only one who finds motherhood a struggle. It honestly is the toughest job on the planet. But you’re not meant to do it alone. Share the joys and hardships of it with others, be open and vulnerable with your close friends rather than always saying you’re doing “fine.” Chat to your husband about how you’re feeling too. I found that after I spent some time telling my husband about how these two events made me feel, he was able to be aware of how isolated and rejected I felt sometimes when we had family outings, and he has made such an amazing effort at making me feel loved even when the boys don’t. It’s so easy to turn on our husbands sometimes when we’re tired and feeling down, but we have to remember we’re a team. This applies to friendships as well. Rather than me

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feeling jealous at how close my friend and her child seem to be, I can comment on how lovely it is and ask what kind of things have helped create that bond. No one is perfect, but I find myself thinking every other mum is close to perfect and I’m the only one failing. But it’s not true for me, and it’s not true for you. It really does take a village to raise a child, and we have to do better at opening up and asking for help because we’re not meant to do this job on our own.

I’m not sure why it’s so hard to talk about these situations that make us feel like bad mothers or why it is so uncomfortable to ask for help when you desperately need it, but I’m trying to normalize these conversations, and I hope that we can do our best to encourage each other and to remember that we are not alone. We all have good mum days and bad mum days, yet we choose to keep loving our precious children, regardless of if we feel great or second choice, because our work is so important. So I’m here to tell you that you’re doing an amazing job, and you’re not alone Mama. If you ever want to talk about the struggles of motherhood, feel free to contact me for a catch up over a hot chocolate xx

PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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How to get breastfeeding off to a great start

FEATURE •

Let’s take each of those elements separately -

Jacquie Nutt

BSc, GradCE, IBCLC

It’s hard not to be anxious about becoming a parent for the first time. There is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a great parent.

Breastfeeding as a learnt skill between two different humans is not always easy at first, but it’s worth it once it starts working.

In the ideal circumstance, pregnancy develops smoothly, the mother goes into labour naturally, and delivers in the normal course of time. The baby is laid on her chest and latches on well, practising suckling a dozen or more times a day in the first couple of days. This brings in a bountiful milk supply after a few days and everyone is happy.

In the real world, various things can happen to derail the process, and make it so much more difficult. The good news is that breastfeeding is an amazingly robust process and can be fixed in most cases.

The earlier the start, the easier it will be to repair, if this is possible.

One of the best routes to successful breastfeeding is to have as healthy a pregnancy as possible, and as gentle a birth as possible, which is why we encourage good and early antenatal care. A baby with a sore head or an asymmetrical muscle tension at birth is not going to find latching on easy, despite being driven to suckle. In cases like this, a visit to a chiropractor or osteopath specialising in babies could be crucial.

For a healthy full term newborn, these elements are key in the first few hours and days:

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If mum and baby are separated, hand expression of colostrum, especially in the first hour after birth.

•

As much skin to skin contact as possible, especially at the start.

•

As much opportunity to practice suckling as possible, which may be anywhere from 12 – 20 times each day.

Skin to skin contact (nothing between mum and baby) – allows the baby’s temperature, breathing, heart rate, and even blood sugar to remain stable. Mum is the best incubator, because her breasts can raise or lower temperatures a degree or two to warm or cool a baby as needed, but another adult can help out too. The hormones and instincts needed for breastfeeding for both mum and baby are enhanced by the simple act of having the baby skin to skin. Keeping the baby stabilised by skin touch will also reduce the separation that causes so much anxiety and breastfeeding difficulties.

Lots of suckling practice: Newborn babies are driven to suckle, which provides huge comfort and a little food, but most importantly a heap of antibodies, probiotics, and immune factors. They also have the instincts to kick their way to the breast if placed tummy down on the abdomen, and bob their heads around till their faces or hands discover a nippleshaped, pleasant smelling object – which is most likely to be a nipple needing to be stimulated by suckling. Breastfeeding positions (e.g. the cradle hold) that allow the new baby’s head to fall away from the breast when the head is bobbed may cause latching difficulties, so look for reclining positions at first until your baby is older.

Babies feed more often than one imagines, and not in regular blocks like “threehourly”. They can often cluster their feeds to have several in a few hours, and night time is usually a common time for cluster feeding. This can be an unpleasant surprise for new parents, but is totally normal. Try to reduce day time activities for the first few days, to find time for your own rest.

Healthy full term babies will be born well hydrated (maybe over-hydrated if mum has had lots of IV fluids) so do not need many mls of milk at a time. In fact, they need to learn how to coordinate swallowing with breathing, which is a brand new skill, and it is best if this learning happens before the milk is flowing strongly, two to five

PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

days after delivery. In these first few days, slow flowing colostrum is all babies need, and we do expect them to lose some weight, because at this stage breastfeeding is not for food. A healthy baby will NOT need a top up from other sources in the hospital, but merely needs to be put back to the breast for another go.

If a baby cannot latch, those beautiful drops of colostrum need to be hand expressed and can be fed by syringe or spoon. Hand expression is more effective in the early days, so that none of those thick drops of colostrum are left behind in pump parts.

Once again the sensation of skin to skin (mum’s hands on her own breasts) seems to stimulate lactation. Mothers who hand-express within the first hour, and who later use hand massage as part of their pumping routine generally end up with a bigger supply.

lactation services (some free, some that charge a fee), and you will find these listed in your hospital information booklet. There are also breastfeeding support groups like those run monthly by La Leche League and the weekly Milk Café, both operating out of rooms at the Birthing Centre building, 117 Ruahine St. I understand that there are plans to run even more frequent drop-in groups from this hub in future.

Most of all, listen to what your own baby is telling you - stay close together. With gentle experimentation and instinctive interactions, you will learn what works in your unique circumstances.

Because lactation is a robust process, even a challenging start, a traumatic birth, or separation of mother and baby can almost always be overcome once mother and baby are reunited. Adoptive mothers can even induce a milk supply, and mothers who have given up breastfeeding can relactate with regular stimulation and perhaps a little medication help.

PARENT CENTRE PARTNERS:

There is so much breastfeeding help around In Palmerston North there are several specialised

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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BIRTH STORY

MASON VAUGHAN HINTON

By Ashleigh Hinton My Husband Scott and I had plans to travel overseas after getting married. It’s always been on our bucket list to explore the world more but Covid forced us to cancel everything. As the days and months went by, we were left with the unknown of when we would be able to travel again. So we decided to embark on a different kind of journey; starting our family.

We found out we were pregnant on the 14th of December 2020 and I was five weeks along. I was so excited that my mind went into overdrive planning how we would tell our loved ones and how I would design the nursery. This was brought to a halt pretty quickly at seven weeks because all I could focus on now was trying to keep food or drink down. Morning sickness had made an unwelcoming appearance and it was rough! Thankfully, being a teacher meant I was on school holidays so I didn’t need to worry too much about trying to hide it for the next six weeks. I tried every remedy google suggested and anti-nausea medication, but nothing worked. After exhausting all my options to feel somewhat normal again, I learnt to just accept it and be grateful that I was even experiencing these symptoms of pregnancy. Before long, it was time to head back to work and start the 2021 school year.

I was still dealing with morning sickness but managed to cover this up pretty well. The busyness of work actually began to take my mind off it and by 20 weeks I felt great. The 20 week scan revealed everything was progressing as it should be and that we were having a boy.

Fast forward to 37 weeks and I was finishing up at work - It was all becoming very real now. I didn’t realise how sore and uncomfortable I was until I stopped. We had meals stored in the freezer and everything was ready to go for the baby. I could now give myself a chance to relax and prepare myself as much as I could for the birth. My birth plan was to have no plan. Anyone that knows me knows this is the complete opposite to how I roll.

I like to be in control, I always have a plan and I’m very organized.

However, after doing a bit of research and hearing other Mum’s birth stories, I decided to completely surrender myself to the process. Given the complexity and unknown of giving birth, I didn’t want to add any unnecessary pressure of having to stick to a plan. I felt that doing this would only create an opportunity for my anxiety to arise if something didn’t go the way we had imagined. We opted to give birth at the hospital, being our first child and not knowing what to expect.

The last few weeks of my pregnancy I had been experiencing

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cramps and these intense shooting pains in my pelvis. I was certain he was not far away. At my 39 week appointment my midwife confirmed that he was certainly engaging and the feeling of him arriving soon became stronger. I remember vividly my Midwife telling me she was not on call that coming weekend and this extremely uneasy feeling in my stomach emerged.

Sure enough, On Saturday 14th August at 9pm my waters broke. The timing was impeccable, I was actually on the loo when I felt a gush. I first questioned whether I was peeing or had my waters broken? A second gush occurred and I began to realise my waters had definitely broken - It’s go time!

Scott put the hospital bags and snacks in the car ready to go. I then hopped into bed and tried to get some rest. By about 10pm I could feel contractions coming on and they were getting a little stronger as the hours went by.

Sunday morning rolled around and contractions had eased right off, enough for me to fall asleep for a couple of hours. It now just felt like I had a bit of cramping. I rang the backup midwife who asked us to come to the hospital to have a few checks done.

Everything was fine and we established a new plan - If contractions had not gotten stronger again by 5pm that day then it was back to the hospital for an induction and a dose of antibiotics due to my water breaking. I sat at home waiting patiently, contractions were still coming and going but they were very mild. 4.30pm rolled around and we got a call from the midwife. It was time to grab our bags and head back to the hospital.

3 cm dilated. Instead, the midwife looked at me a little shocked and said “I think you need to ring your husband now”. I was 6 cm.

The midwife popped off to go and ring my midwife who was now back on call. My contractions increased once my midwife arrived. I remember going into my own little world and really focusing on my breathing. By 8.30am I was 7cm dilated and exhaustion had hit me like a wave. I knew I really needed to keep my focus on my breathing to get me through these contractions. About an hour later my Midwife explained that I hadn’t progressed as quickly as I should have at this stage so the decision was made to give me Oxytocin. After inserting this through my IV line, my contractions built up hard and fast, almost too fast for my body to handle. I vividly remember the pain and feeling like I had lost control of my breathing. I tried the gas but it very quickly made me nauseous and I was vomiting. I was absolutely exhausted and I still needed to push! The look of helplessness was spread across Scott’s face and he sat closely next to me. I looked up at him and begged for an epidural.

My Midwife adjusted the dose of Oxytocin and contractions became bearable again so this gave me a chance to get my breathing back under control.

We settled into the delivery suite and the midwife began the induction process before handing over to the midwives on shift at the hospital that night. I was given Misoprostol every 2 hours and hooked up to an ECG to monitor the baby. I made myself comfortable and settled in for a long night ahead. Everything was going well so we decided it was best if Scott went home and got some more rest. We had no idea how long it would take for the contractions to build up so I would let him know when he needed to come back. By 6.00am on Monday morning I had had 4 doses of Misoprostol. The hospital midwife on shift at the time checked to see how far along I was. I was coping pretty well with the contractions so at this point I was expecting to be told I was only 2 or

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She checked to see how far along I was and at 10.15am I was 9cm dilated. She said I was nearly ready to push and it would be too late to arrange an epidural. 15 minutes later I felt this sudden urge. He was coming! After pushing for an hour or so doctors began to fill the room. I didn’t think anything of it at the time because I was so focused on getting our baby out. His heart rate was starting to drop and his head was not coming through quick enough. I could see the worry on Scott’s face which made me realise what was happening. My Midwife came up to me and explained what was happening and that she was going to prepare me for an episiotomy, just in case. Another doctor was getting ready to use forceps and 2 more doctors were standing by. I was really struggling to get him out and after pushing for over an hour now I felt so weak. My midwife got right in my face and said we needed to get this baby out now. She gave me words of encouragement and asked me to push as hard as I could one last time. I took one deep breath as I felt another contraction and pushed with everything I had. His head finally came out with his little hand resting on his face, followed by the rest of his body. Mason Vaughan Hinton was born at 11.21am on Monday the 16th August weighing in at 3.25kg (7.15pounds).

The feeling of this perfect little human being placed on my chest was a feeling I will never forget. He was absolutely perfect in every way and we were in awe that we had created this little guy. We spent a couple of hours in the delivery suite after having skin to skin while I was stitched up with a grade 2 tear. Scott then got to dress Mason for the first time while I took a much needed shower to freshen up.

Our first night in hospital was a sleepless one. I was drained and craving sleep. However, I was also battling the adrenaline of what I had been through and I just could not stop staring at baby Mason. I had fallen in love all over again and didn’t want to miss a second of it. The next day, news came out that we were going into another lock down so we decided to leave the hospital to begin our journey as a family of 3 and the fourth trimester.

This time for us was mentally and physically taxing - sleep deprivation, baby blues and breastfeeding difficulties. The first two weeks of having Scott home was great. The support and reassurance he gave me was above and beyond what I had ever imagined. It was just incredible seeing him as a father and I felt so incredibly lucky.

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Unfortunately, Scott needed to return to his job during the lockdown period after his 2 weeks was up. I began to struggle to deal with the challenges of motherhood by myself and felt incredibly isolated while in lockdown. Reaching out for support was tricky in this situation and I would count down the seconds until Scott arrived home. I became so overwhelmed with the emotional highs and lows and had convinced myself that I was the only one experiencing all these struggles. Mason was constantly unsettled with an upset tummy which led to overtiredness, he had difficulty latching, and my nipples were covered in blisters. I had this sinking feeling that something was not right. After putting up with it for too long, I did a little of my own research and began to notice that Mason couldn’t stick his tongue out past his bottom gum.

I took matters into my own hands and as soon as the lockdown ended, I got in contact with the community lactation consultant to get a second opinion. He was immediately diagnosed with a class 2 tongue tie. I also had an oversupply which was contributing to his upset tummy. We were referred to a specialist to have his tongue tie snipped and this changed the way he latched instantly. The pain began to disappear and my oversupply corrected itself around 12 weeks postpartum. Despite feeling let down, I finally began to enjoy breastfeeding and we carried on with our journey. Getting out of the house became much easier as I built up the confidence. I attended the Baby and You classes with the girls from my antenatal class, only to discover that I wasn’t the only one going through all this. We all had our own struggles to deal with which was reassuring for me to hear. I am so lucky to have met such a great bunch of girls through our antenatal class where we could ask, offer and accept advice without any judgment. We made a point of catching up each week and we still keep in touch to this day.

Nearly a year on and we are about to celebrate our baby turning one. Where has that year gone?!

Parenthood has been incredibly demanding but Mason has taught us what life is all about. He brings us great joy, pride and happiness and has taught us so many lessons. No matter how tired or worn out we are, he always knows how to make us smile and laugh. And that’s what makes us tick.

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FEATURE

The Slippery Slope Of Mummy Self-Doubt

By Pinky McKay “I feel like such a failure.”

I hear this every single day from mothers. The saddest thing is that every time I hear these words, the mother is doing a wonderful job: she is intelligent and responsive with a beautiful connection to her baby. Her baby is proof that she can’t be a failure – alert, animated and engaging.

So why is her confidence so shot to pieces?

There can be a range of reasons for new mums sliding down the slippery slope of self- doubt, from struggling against popular advice that doesn’t feel right, to being blamed for having a baby who doesn’t fit the cookie cutter template of ‘normal’, whatever that is according to what book she has read, who is advising her or what everyone else’s babies are doing. Or, at least what they say their babies are doing, especially around feeding and sleeping.

Carefully curated images on social media play a huge role in the myth of the perfect mother, adding to a conspiracy of silence that isolates mothers because they don’t want to face criticism. This perpetuates the very conspiracy that divides new mothers and holds them hostage.

According to recently released global research conducted

by Water Wipes the ‘picture perfect’ portrayal of parenting in culture is causing more than half of parents worldwide to feel like they are failing in the first year of parenthood (55%). This pressure is causing parents to feel as though they can’t be honest about their parenthood journey due to fear of judgement (39%) Of the 1,000 Australian and New Zealand parents surveyed, almost two thirds (63 per cent) felt like they were failing during their first year of parenthood – with mums more likely to feel this way than dads (67 per cent vs 48 per cent).

The WaterWipes study claims the top sources of pressure for new parents in Australia and New Zealand are social media, other parents, advertisements, the portrayal of parenting on TV, their partner, and pressure on themselves.

Water Wipes are hoping to address this pressure through a project #ThisIsParenthood created in collaboration with BAFTA-nominated director Lucy Cohen, with videos shot over two months across three continents.

The Water Wipes research affirms my own experience. Over a two week period, I did home visits to three mothers who lived within a block of each other. Each of these mothers was feeling as though they must be doing ‘everything wrong’ because their babies weren’t in routines, sleeping ‘all night’ and were having issues with breastfeeding. Their babies were similar ages and these women attended the same baby health centre so there was a very good chance they were in the same mothers’ group. Because of client confidentiality, I couldn’t ask these women if they knew each other but when I asked, have you talked about this in your mums’ group? Each woman told me, “Oh no, I can’t –the other mums are all so together.”

Another time, when I asked a group of mums how their babies slept, then asked for their individual definitions of ‘sleeping all night’, those who said their babies slept all night and those who said their babies didn’t, weren’t all

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that different: The mums who said their babies slept from 7pm til 7am (incidentally, in infant sleep studies, ‘all night’ is defined as five hours), actually did things like giving a dream feed, popped the dummy in a few times, or patted their babies to resettle. One mum co-slept and breastfed during the night but because this baby didn’t actually wake fully and the mum’s feet didn’t hit the floor, she was happy enough that she and her baby slept ‘all night’.

On the other hand, mums who did these same things considered that because they had to attend to their babies overnight, they hadn’t slept ‘all night’. In fact, out of eight mums, only one baby actually slept ‘all night’ without needing ‘help’. He was breastfed, bonny, and slept in his parents’ room where they would have heard any whimper he made but this was definitely an exception, rather than the rule. Interestingly, this mother recently contacted me – her second baby is a classic ‘high needs’ baby who had shattered her self- image as ‘competent mummy’.

You are NOT a Failure!

Whatever your baby does, this has nothing to do with you being a ‘failure’, nor have you caused difficult behaviour or bad habits through ‘accidental parenting’ (whatever that may be). You are responding to the baby you have: some babies are extra sensitive and find too much stimulation overwhelming, especially in the early weeks; some babies are what I like to call ‘high interest’ babies, these babies are alert and find it more difficult to ‘switch off’ so they need more help to get to sleep; others simply don’t need as much sleep as the charts say (remember any chart shows ‘averages’ so there will be babies either side of average and more active parents often seem to have more active babies); some babies have challenges with feeding and little people come in all shapes and sizes. Babies all develop at different rates and things can go ‘pear shaped’ as they reach milestones no matter how ‘consistent’ you are, because to the baby, the way they experience their world is changing.

Some babies are ‘easier’ than others, some mothers have better support networks and some mums have more honest friends who admit that being a mum is a tough gig, that babies don’t fit conveniently into their organised lives, and that they too feel ‘out of control’ at least, some days.

Next time you are feeling like a ‘failure’ sit for a moment and gaze at your unique child, nuzzle their soft downy head and breathe in their sweet baby smell. Accept that if things are tough right now, it’s not your fault and it is ok to reach out for help. Let go of your image of the perfect mummy (whoever she is). Know that you can’t have a baby this beautiful, this bright and this perfect unless you are doing a damn good job – you ARE a great mother! https://www.pinkymckay.com/the-slippery-slope-ofmummy-self-doubt/ Pinky McKay is a mum of five, an IBCLC lactation consultant, best-selling author of Sleeping Like a Baby and Parenting by Heart (Penguin Random House) and creator of Boobie Bikkies, all natural and organic cookies to boost energy and support a healthy milk supply for breastfeeding mothers.

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HEALTH AND WELLBEING

EATING FOR A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP

By Alex Cameron I recently spoke on More Fm about whether or not eggs are the secret to an amazing sleep.

Yes- eggs are a great source of the amino acid tryptophan which increases the production of serotonin and melatonin, which support our ability to relax and go to sleep. However, when it comes to sleep- diet has a huge role to play, and likewise, sleep has a huge role to play in what we eat. If you are struggling with sleep or struggling with losing weight and know that you aren’t getting the recommended amount of sleep that your body needs, then this article is for you.

Sleep influences what you eat, and what you eat influences your sleep.

Have you ever noticed that on days when you feel fatigued and run down you tend to crave more carbohydrate-based, sugary foods? You may have also noticed that on days when you feel well rested it becomes a lot easier to make great decisions around food.

Sleep directly affects the body’s ability to burn body fat, our appetites, and therefore our muscle and body fat levels. Chronic inflammation and insulin resistance decrease with sleep- showing just how much of an impact sleep can have on our health.

Sleep, hormones, and burning body fat

Missing out on the recommended amount of sleep can lead to body fat retention and loss of muscle mass. This is likely because during sleep, your body repairs and builds muscle while also breaking down fat for energy. It

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is also attributed to higher levels of cortisol (stress hormone) which circulate when we are sleep deprived. Put simply, cortisol tells our body that we are in danger and must stay safetherefore telling our body to retain body fat.

Without enough quality sleep, you’re unable to build as much of that valuable muscle or burn as much fat.

Those of us who are staying up later may also be more likely to snack later in the evening too. This ultimately leads to greater calorie intake and less opportunity for body fat stores to be utilized for energy. Not to mention the changes in our hormones and the increase in hunger hormone (ghrelin) when we are tired.

This makes sense as our body is working hard to boost energy levels, and increasing hunger to encourage us to eat is one way to do this. In adults that get 7+ hours of sleep, their fullness hormone (leptin) will be higher and levels of ghrelin will drop. When we are tired it’s often high-calorie, carbohydrate-rich foods that we crave too- making it so much more difficult to fuel our bodies with nutritious options!

Interestingly, sleep can be an important factor in whether our weight loss efforts pay off. A study carried out in Chicago found that those sleeping for only ~5 ½ hours each night lost 55% less body fat and 60% more muscle mass than those who got adequate sleep.

Sleep and cravings

Poor sleep resulting in increased hunger hormone levels doesn’t just make us hungrier, they also make us crave more sugary, carbbased food. 7 hours of sleep seems to be the magic number, with less than this resulting in stimulation in the “reward-seeking” portion of the brain- influencing our desire for refined carbohydrate foods.

When we are sleep deprived we are also less likely to feel motivated. This can make it more difficult for us to find the energy to choose and prepare nutritious food, and make us more likely to act on our sugar cravings.

Sleepy Foods

Not only can sleep influence diet, but diet can also influence sleep too. A 2016 study found that a diet low in fiber, high in sugar, and saturated fat is more likely to lead to restless, light sleep with more night wakes. Sugar has been shown to cause frequent waking, while fiber has been associated with more time spent in deep, restorative sleep. More reason

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to boost the veggie intake at dinner time and cancel the post-dinner treats!

Caffeine is a big player when it comes to sleep.

It has been shown to potentially stay in our system for ~8 hours. So think about when you have your last coffee or tea for the day and whether this might be leading to frequent wakes, inability to fall asleep, or light restless sleep. Decaf options are great and very accessible if you wish to switch.

Alcohol can lead to broken or light sleep. It can cause dehydration, and frequent urination, but also means that we wake more frequently throughout the night. Even if we find that a drink may help us to fall asleep, this doesn’t always mean that the sleep is restorative. Limiting alcohol or choosing alcohol-free options like soda water, kombucha, herbal teas, or alcohol & sugar-free beverages is a great step.

Including protein in every meal and snack is important. Not just in order to meet our requirements but also to support healthy sleep. Meat, chicken, fish, legumes, eggs, and tofu all contain protein. If you are consuming a vegetarian diet then it’s important to always include a meat alternative in your evening meal as well.

Tryptophan is an essential amino acid that cannot be produced by the human body and must be obtained through your diet, primarily from animal or plant-based protein sources.

Tryptophan plays a role in the production of serotonin, a mood stabilizer, melatonin, which helps regulate sleep patterns, niacin or vitamin B-3, and nicotinamide also known as vitamin B-3.

things to consider. Adequate nutrition, appropriate treatment of deficiencies and health conditions, a melatonin-inducing sleep routine, and positive sleep associations are just a few. The right nutrition really can help you to become a better sleeper. Focus on protein and fiber-rich meals lower added sugar and processed foods, and plenty of fruit and vegetables.

If you are struggling with your sleep and know that it is impacting your quality of life and health then it’s important to seek advice. A registered dietitian can support you by ensuring that your diet is optimised to promote restful, restorative sleep, along with advising on nutrition for health conditions and weight loss goals.

Alex Cameron is a NZ Registered Dietitian with a Masters Degree in Nutrition & Dietetics and has a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Nutrition and Foodservice Management.

Alex Cameron

NZRD, MDiet, BSc

www.alexcameron.co.nz https://www.alexcameron.co.nz/single-post/ your-nutrition-guide-to-a-better-sleep

Foods rich in tryptophan include: • Milk, yoghurt, and cheese • Bananas • Oats • Nuts & seeds • Tofu & tempeh • Salmon & Chicken So when we have been told to have a glass of milk when we can’t sleep- there really is some science behind this! For those who love a postdinner sweet snack, banana with yoghurt is a nice way to boost your tryptophan intake, add a sprinkle of seeds for an additional boost.

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PRODUCT REVIEW

BREASTFEEDING CLOTHING REVIEW

By Ella Diprose Trying to find maternity and breastfeeding clothes that are comfortable without having to compromise on style, or spend a fortune, isn’t always easy. Here’s my run down of some of the common maternity and breastfeeding clothing brands which are New Zealand owned and operated, which ones are my favs, whether to go for zips or flaps, horizontal vs diagonal nursing access.

Breastfeeding isn’t always a simple, straightforward task (especially in public). For me, finding the right wardrobe of clothes that allowed me to breastfeed anywhere, anytime and feed discreetly gave me so much confidence. No more awkward yanking up of dresses or jerseys or showing more of your body than you want to in order to feed your baby on the go or at home.

Addison I love my Addison clothes and to be honest half my wardrobe is Addison breastfeeding clothes. Their clothes are stylish, practical, functional and they last! They are on the pricier end and sometimes I have thought is it ridiculous to pay $79 for a single top. But then I wear them again and again and I do get my money’s worth. And there is always second hand Addison clothes, which can be an affordable way of building up your wardrobe.

Addison sells high quality clothes, made of fabric that is soft and comfy that you can wash and wear over and over. I have found that any of their long sleeves or t-shirts with a floral pattern definitely fades over time with washing, which is one of the only negatives I have found in their design. They make a large range of clothes from tighter fitting to roomy designs, and they have a style for every mum; whether you like gingham or plain, floral or stripes, there is something for everyone. They also sell both breastfeeding and non breastfeeding clothes, so if you just love their clothes and designs but aren’t breastfeeding you can still wear their clothes with no zips or flaps.

https://addisonclothing.co.nz/

Milkbar I also like the Milkbar brand. Their clothing is made with high quality fabrics which last and they have modern, versatile pieces that can be dressed up or down for different occasions.

Sizing can run quite large, I have bought dresses in a Small which is my normal size and they have been huge on me. It is trickier with all these maternity and breastfeeding companies being online as you can’t try on first to check your size, so you end up having to pay return postage when an item is too big or not the right fit. But that’s the risk with all online purchases and there’s no way around it yet. Milkbar has expanded in the last year or so and gone into exercise clothing and swimwear.

I haven’t tried their exercise wear but their togs are beautiful, flattering and worth every penny.

https://milkbarnewzealand.com/collections/ breastfeeding-clothing

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Esther & Albie Another one of my favourite brands for breastfeeding clothes and by far one of the most affordable. They are comfortable, flattering, stylish clothes that are designed to make your breastfeeding journey simpler. What makes them stand out from other brands is that they understand that for many, breastfeeding clothing is a ‘nice to have’ rather than an essential item but why should women go without.

Their breastfeeding items are affordable without compromising quality. I live in their classic tees and their long sleeve tops. I almost have one of each colour. They often have end of season sales and you can get wardrobe staples like black or white tees or singlets for summer for such good prices, that they’re almost Kmart prices, but 10 times better quality.

https://estherandalbie.com/

Cadenshae The best brand and my go to for exercise wear when pregnant and post-partum while breastfeeding is Cadenshae. I have lived in their classic pregnancy leggings during my 2 pregnancies and still wear them multiple times a week. The ethos for this brand is simple; that mums deserve to look great and feel special, and most of all, to wear clothes that allow you to be the best mum you can be. While their clothing might be in a higher price bracket, for quality and durability they’re certainly worth the outlay. Even on days when I am doing zero fitness and just chilling at home, I choose to wear my Cadenshae tights and hoodie because it’s the comfiest thing in my wardrobe.

https://cadenshae.co.nz/ The question of zips or flap access for breastfeeding can only be decided by trial and error and is a personal decision. Tops with a flap are often the easiest for breastfeeding access because you can get your boob out to feed your baby one handed.

Simply pull up the flap and often pull across the hidden shelf/piece of material underneath which is another layer to make feeding very discreet. Then when your baby has finished, simply pull the flap back down, leaving no gaping opening for the world to see your chest. It’s all very hidden away. However tops with a flap are visibly breastfeeding tops, so some people prefer a top with zips which can appear to be more like a normal top.

When wearing a breastfeeding top with a zip, you have to lie your baby down on your lap or next to you as you will need both hands to unzip it, then quickly without exposing too much skin, pop baby on to feed. Then when you’re done. Either sit baby up or lie them down again to have both hands free to pull the zip closed. You can get pretty adept at pulling the zip one handed and with your mouth hold the other end of the top, so that you have one hand free still to hold your baby.

When I was new to breastfeeding I preferred tops with a flap as they were easier to manage, but now I have 2 kids and 2 years of breastfeeding experience, I find zips are fine to use and have a mix of both in my wardrobe.

As part of the Kind Hearts Movement

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has bestowed a random act of kindness upon

Sarah Marfell Household You will each receive a free coffee voucher!

Don’t forget to pay it forward!

Streetwise Coffee Cart, Rangitikei Street, Palmerston North

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FEATURE

Whangai Ora Milk Bank You may have heard that there is now a milk bank in Palmerston North, operating from the Birthing Centre just round the corner from the Parent Centre.

The milk bank is for the community, which means for all new parents, and it is run by volunteers.

We have been pasteurising milk since November 2020, and since we got our larger pasteuriser and launched officially in May 2021, we have given out nearly 1500 litres to over 600 babies. We have signed up 75 stunning milk donors.

Why did we start a milk bank?

We saw that there are many mums with a great deal of milk, and some mums struggling to start breastfeeding, and it seemed to make so much sense to put them in touch with each other in a safe and formal way. This includes lifestyle screening and a blood test for the donors, and for hospital-based babies, pasteurisation of the milk (heating it to a temperature that kills potential bacteria and viruses, while keeping as many of the immune factors and food quality as unchanged as possible).

Obviously this is not the same as a

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mum’s own milk, if she has any, but it’s an awesome gift while breastfeeding is being fixed.

Who can get milk from the milk bank, and how?

Premature babies are particularly in need of human milk from the start, due to their immature digestive system, but sometimes their mothers are not yet able to produce enough milk. They are our priority group.

Next in line are the mums of healthy babies in the postnatal ward who haven’t yet got it working, and who may need just a few mls to tide them over. Usually this assistance lasts a day or two.

Palmerston North Hospital will give out donor milk to dyads in hospital, and the family’s LMC can also contact the milk bank.

Parents can self-refer through our website (see below) but it is best if there is a health professional supporting the family. We don’t fix breastfeeding by replacing it, and there are many wonderful lactation specialists and support groups around to help if needed.

If we have extra milk, we might dispense raw milk to health community babies where the mothers are unable to breastfeed, e.g. mothers hospitalized suddenly, ill mothers and adoptive parents (though they too can bring in a milk supply with lactation help).

We do not simply hand out milk, as our main aim is to facilitate breastfeeding.

We refer to other lactation services and also try to support and give recipients tips on increasing milk production and protecting breastfeeding. For example, hands on pumping, early feeding and expressing, paced bottle feeding, tube feeding at the breast to keep stimulation going while the supplement is fed.

Hours Since the milk bank is run by one volunteer coordinator with the help of two volunteer pasteurising assistants,

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hours are fluid and not necessarily always in business hours. We don’t actually live on site, though it may feel like that to us. We really appreciate parents and midwives who anticipate problems and get hold of us with time to spare, instead of making us race back to the milk bank.

How can mothers donate milk?

Our donors are the backbone of the community, and seem to get huge satisfaction from providing this unique gift, especially those who were once recipients themselves.

It is really simple to become a donor, if you have milk to spare. You can send a message through our Facebook page or contact us through our website, or phone us. You will be asked to complete a screening form and have a blood test, and be given some containers.

There is no set volume demanded per day, nor a preferred time period of donating.

However because of the cost of the blood tests, it would be helpful if we could rely on getting at least 3 or more litres eventually. Most of our donors have given more than 10 litres and our most productive donor has given 500 litres.

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Perhaps someone has a freezer stash, perhaps it’s possible to donate 50 mls extra a day. A mother who is producing 50 mls extra per day would get 350 mls a week, a litre in 3 weeks, 3 litres in 2 months. Our longer term donors keep going for an average of 4 – 6 months, though one lovely mum has donated since 2020.

Whangai Ora Milk Bank Jacquie Nutt IBCLC www.whangaiora.org.nz info@whangaiora.org.nz 0272669547 Find us also on Facebook and Instagram

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RECIPE

My Kids Lick the Bowl Lactation Cookies This recipe is from My Kids Lick the Bowl and can be viewed in its entirety at https:// mykidslickthebowl.com/best-lactation-cookies/ and comes recommended by one of our own Palmy Parent Centre Mama’s!

Increase milk supply with these easy-to-make boobie biscuits.

Everyday ingredients, loaded with oats, galactagogues, and dark chocolate chips for deliciousness.

Servings: 24 Cookies Ingredients

• • • • • • • • • •

125 g butter softened 150 g brown sugar (¾ cup) 1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla paste/extract 110 g oats (1 cup) 100 g flour (¾ cup) 1 teaspoon baking powder 30 g LSA ¼ cup 1-2 tablespoon Brewers Yeast 10-20g optional 150 g chocolate chips (1 cup)

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius 2. Beat/cream softened butter, brown sugar, egg and vanilla together 3. Add all remaining dry ingredients excluding the chocolate chips and mix well 4. Stir in chocolate chips, the mixture will be a little sticky 5. Wet your hands, and roll tablespoonfuls into balls, place on a lined tray

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

6. Use a wet fork to gently flatten each ball 7. Bake for 8-10 minutes (this gives a soft chewy cookie) you can also bake for a little longer 12-15 mins if you prefer a crunchy cookie 8. Cool for a few minutes on the tray then transfer to a cooling rack. Store in an airtight container. Eat them often, keep them next to where you breastfeed so you always have a snack on hand

Top Tips

Here is how you can make this lactation cookie recipe perfectly every time!

The cookie dough can be quite sticky, using damp hands and a wet spoon will stop it from sticking to you when you are making the balls, alternatively, you can chill the cookie dough in the fridge for about 30 mins before making the balls, this will make the dough firmer.

These cookies are delicious, my kids love them, I just leave out the brewer’s yeast now that I am not feeding as it can be quite bitter.

Batch and Freeze: If you want to prep in advance before your baby is born. Make the dough balls then freeze them in. an air-tight container, you can pop them out and bake them from frozen.

FAQs

Can non-breastfeeding people eat lactation cookies?

Absolutely, there are no ingredients in this lactation cookie recipe that will cause issues for non-lactating adults or children.

How many lactation cookies should I eat?

Breastfeeding mums need 500 kcal more energy per day than non-breastfeeding mums, this would be approximately 6 of these lactation cookies a day.

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FLAT HILLS

FAMILY FRIENDLY OUTING

By Georgia Bradley

to explore which has a small entry fee.

Flat Hills café and tourist park is located just out of Mangaweka. It’s around a one hour drive from Palmerston North so it’s definitely an achievable weekend day trip.

The main drawcard for my family’s trip to Flat Hills was to visit the animals there. We went on a Saturday morning in June and the drive there was quick and easy.

There is a large array of animals to visit: sheep, goats, alpacas, birds, and guinea pigs. They were good to look at but we couldn’t really get close to them. There is food for purchase in the café which would probably help with them coming closer.

They were still fun to look at and it was nice to get outside.

When we arrived we were pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t too busy. There was plenty of parking which made it easy. We headed inside into the café. It was a cold day and unfortunately it was slightly cold inside – so on cooler days I would definitely recommend you dress warmly. Luckily because it was quiet we were easily able to secure a spot by the fire. The café had a large range of both cabinet and menu food – especially child friendly options.

The service was fast and the workers were kind and welcoming. There were inside and outside seating options as well as highchairs available.

Overall it was a good visit and I think it was worth the trip. Ideally next time I think I would visit in summer but the visit in winter was still enjoyable. My daughter enjoyed it and we were so impressed with the amount of toys for children to play with. Would definitely be an awesome spot for lunch where adults can sit back and relax while the kids play.

To say this place is child friendly is an understatement. Inside is a small play area for children but it doesn’t stop there.

Outside undercover is another play area with all sorts – scooters, walkers, cars, chalk and more. Outside there is a small playground as well as cubby houses and old machinery for children to play with. A bouncy castle operates, weather depending, free of charge outside. There is also a maze

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PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

Hire a Tens Machine Hire a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine to help reduce your pain during labour and childbirth.

Palmerston North Parents Centre (PNPC) has five TENS machines available for hire by our members for ONLY $20 for up to four weeks’ hireage (plus a $40.00 refundable bond).

Machines can be booked for the two weeks prior to your due date until two weeks post due date.

Watch a video interview with a TENS machine expert at youtube.com/ watch?v=4gUEtYAqPw8

Book your TENS Machine from: Palmerston North Parents Centre, 117 Ruahine Street, info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz. Please pay in cash. Full terms and conditions supplied upon inquiry. Note: TEENS pads are reusable, you can purchase new TENS pads for $35.

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUPS Across Te Kotahitanga O Te Wairua We can provide a range of social services which include: Counselling, Family support (including respite care for children), Parenting advice/information and programmes, Advice on other services available for parents and families.

Contact: Graeme on (06) 356 7486 or visit www.across.org.nz Allergy New Zealand Support groups are a great way to meet others in a similar situation to you. They are very relaxed, informal sessions to share ideas, discuss your concerns, and get information and resources. Our regional support group is there to help put you in contact with others, to provide you with information such as those all important recipes, and to listen when you need someone to talk to. They are not medically qualified but can refer your queries on and seek information on your behalf. For further information phone 0800 34 0800 or visit www.allergy.org.nz Babywearers Manawatu This is a great way to try different carriers while finding a carrier that suits you and your baby. Babywearers Manawatu Sling Library is on most Wednesdays 12 pm - 1 pm (check FB for up to date info) at Palmerston North Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave Street, Palmerston North. Membership is one off payment of $10 and carrier hire costs $5 for one week.https://www.facebook.com/groups/ babywearersmanawatu/ Brain Injury Association Central Districts We provide advocacy information and support for people with brain injury, their families, whanau and carers. For more information call (06) 354 3540.

Breastfeeding Help An IBCLC (often called lactation consultant) is a breastfeeding specialist qualified to prevent, recognise, and resolve breastfeeding problems. All members of NZCLA hold the professional qualification of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Any mother, family member or health professional interested in obtaining the contact details of an IBCLC can phone 0800 4 LACTATION (0800 452 282) during daytime hours.

HOPE An opportunity for parents of premature babies to meet and chat and to offer hope and support to those who currently have babies in the Neo-Natal Unit. Graduates welcome. Held at: Plunket Family Centre, 42 Albert Street, Palmerston North. Monday 1pm – 2.30pm. Contact: Karlyn Sullivan-Jones (06) 353 0663 or karlynandmark@xnet.co.nz Itchy Kids A national support group for parents and whanau who care for children with eczema and allergies. For more information contact Sarah Hartley 027 333 7385 or email hartleyfamilynz@gmail.com or visit itchykids.org.nz Manawatu Toy Library Now located at 200 Church Street, Palmerston North, this fabulous toy library has a collection of over 2000 toys. Our members include families, carers, and educational groups. We have toys suitable for babies 5+ months through to school age children.

Membership costs $95 per annum or $60 for six months. You are welcome to visit to see what we offer. To find out more, including opening hours: manawatutoylibrary.nz, or call 027 364 6911.

Manawatu Down Syndrome Association Regional contact is Andrea Wales (06) 356 1767.

Manawatu Home Birth Association Offering information, advice and support to women and their families seeking to birth their babies at home. Birth pools and other equipment available for hire. Library, sibling kits, and bimonthly

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newsletters also available. Call (06) 356 BABY (06 356 2229) for more information.

Manline Manline services are unique in that we are the only “men helping men” organisation in the Manawatu and Tararua region offering services for men to explore issues within their lives. Our programs are designed to be educational, developmental, rehabilitative, and preventative. http://www.manline.co.nz/home or 06 358 1211 Miscarriage Support Miscarriage can be a very lonely experience and is often not talked about. Miscarriage support groups have produced quality information and pamphlets for women/couples who may need information and support. These invaluable resources can be downloaded from miscarriage.org.nz Methodist Social Services Offering free programmes for primary/intermediate aged children and their parents/caregivers, around the areas of anger management, grief loss and change, and confidence building. We also offer family, couple, and individual counselling, and have both male and female counsellors available. Advocacy and social work support services are provided along with an emergency food service. For all enquiries, please call 06 350 0307, 663 Main Street, Palmerston North.

Palmerston North Breastfeeding support group We provide a relaxed place to come and ask questions about breastfeeding and parenting , we hold regular meeting on the first Monday of the month at Palmy Parents Centre, Ruahine St, 10am. We have a library with a wide range of books relating to breastfeeding and parenting. http://www.lalecheleague. org.nz/palmerston-north or https://www.facebook.com/ PNbreastfeedingsupport/ Parent to Parent Supporting families of children with a special need, health impairment, or disability. For more information please phone (06) 355 0787or email manawatu@parent2parent.org.nz Parentline 24 Hour Crisis Line. Offering help and support for parents 24 hours a day. Phone 0800 4 FAMILY. Plunket Education Services For parent education classes please contact the Plunket family centre in Albert Street, Palmerston North, (06) 356 7248 for more information regarding classes in 2016.

Reflux Support Contact: Sharon 354 7280 Sands A voluntary group who have lost babies before, during or after birth. They can provide first hand support, guidance, and information on miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn death. Further information and support can be found by contacting Shaun and Gaylene Vivian (06) 356 9715 or visiting sands.org.nz Supergrans Manawatu Charitable Trust Supergrans Manawatu is all about helping people help themselves.

A service to all to brush up on the basic skills needed to provide for oneself or for a family. Our motto is not a ‘do it for you today’ it is a ‘help you to do it tomorrow’ concept. This is a free service.

It is concerned with encouraging better skills in those everyday tasks around the home that sustain life. We work with you in your own home. Phone (06) 354 3804 or 021 0669 442 for further information.

PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

MEMBER DISCOUNTS Want to see your advert here?

Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

FREE! Address labels with any birth announcement, thank you cards

GRANT IRVINE PHARMACY

10% OFF

Ground Floor, TSB Building 12-19, Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North

168 Albert Street, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 8782

10% off for all massages over $40 to PC members

Want to see your advert here?

Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

FREE TEA OR COFFEE

06 358 8549

Receive a free tea or coffee with the purchase of food.

95 the Square, Palmerston North

HAIR TRANSFORMER

15% OFF Discounted, low ratio childcare – For 30 hours WAIVED weekly admin & placement fees

Want to see your advert here?

Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

Link Arcade, Broadway Avenue Palmerston North Ph: 06 358 1309

Want to see your advert here?

Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

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PLAYGROUPS IN YOUR AREA Plunket Family Centre Playgroup

ASHHURST

Ashhurst Playcentre

AWAPUNI/WESTEND Kingston St Chapel Palmy Playgroup

42 Albert Street

021-808-340

Mondays & Fridays 10am to 12noon

118 Standford Street

326 9270

Mon to Thurs 9am - 12pm

Kingston St 358 0716 Tues & Thurs 9am- 11:30am Awapuni Community Centre, 22 Newbury St Tues & Fri 9.30am to 11.30am Facebook: Palmy Playgroup Please bring your own morning tea and a donation of $2 per child.

CENTRAL

Crossroads Early Childhood Salvation Army Rudolf Steiner Seventh Day Adventist Church Playgroup with Hope

FEILDING

Feilding Playcentre Community Fielding Playcentre Doodlebugs SPACE Bright Sparks Preschool Programme

220 Church St 358 0669 cnr Church & Princess Sts 358 7455 187 Ruahine St 354 4514 257 Ferguson St 282 Cuba Street (opposite Briscoes) Contact: Heather 027 334 9981

Mon to Fri 9am to 12noon Thurs 9:30am to 11am Tues 9:30am - 12noon & Thu 2pm -3:30pm Wed 9:30 to 11:00am Tuesday 9.30-11.30am playgroup@hopevineyard.nz

254A Kimbolton Rd 42 North St Knox Hall, North St 22 Bowen St Feilding Library

323 6100 323 1918 323 7240 323 7221 323 5373

Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Thurs 9am to 11:30am Contact for more details Wed 10:30am to 11:30am

12-32 Brentwood Ave

358 2255

Fri 8:30am to 12noon

339 Albert St Huia St extn

357 9411 357 0791

Wed 9:30am to 10:30am Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri 9am - 12noon

HIGHBURY

Te Aroha Noa Community Services

HOKOWHITU

St Albans Church Park Road Playcentre

LINTON

Linton Playgroup

MILSON

Milson Playcentre

OPIKI

Opiki Playgroup

ROSLYN/KELVIN GROVE

Kelvin Grove Salvation Army Church on Vogel Plunket Roslyn Over 1’s Coffee Group

Linton Camp (Community Centre) 3519970

Mon & Wed 9am to 11:30am

1a Seaforth Ave

Mon, Wed & Fri 9am-12noon

356 9824

St Andrews Church, Main Road

Tues 10am to 12noon

99-103 Kaimanawa St 127 Vogel St 177 Vogel Street

Wed 9:30am to 11:30am Wed 9:30am to 12noon Wednesdays 9.30am to 11am

353 0917 357 7336 021-808-340

RONGOTEA

Te Kawau Playcentre Medway St 324 8246

SANSON

Sanson Playcentre

TERRACE END

St David‘s Presbyterian Church Terrace End Playcentre

SPECIALIST GROUPS

2 Philipps St

329 3503

Tues and Fri 9am to 12noon

Cnr Main & Rainforth 77 Ruamahanga Cres

358 3246 0221400610

Tues 10:00am to 11:30am Wed, Thu, Fri 9.30am to 12.30 school term

La Leche League 355 3104 Manawatu Multiple Birth Club Kingston St Church 357 9773 Parent 2 Parent Special Needs Matipo St 355 0787 ABCD early intervention group 9 Woburn Place 0800 693 724 - Down Syndrome French for Preschoolers 1st floor, 47 the Square 021 207 0114 Spanish Class – 2 yrs and up 355 8257 Plunket Bhutanese Playgroup 25 Franklin Ave 3574844 Book Bubs baby book club PN Library

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Mon to Thurs 9:15am to 12:15pm, Fri 11:45am to 2:45pm

Contact for more details Every 2nd Wed,10am 1st and 3rd Tues each month, 1-3pm Once a month on Thurs 10am to 12noon Fri 3.30pm to 4.30pm Contact for further details Mon 12.30 – 2.30pm Thursday 10.30 – 11 am fortnightly.

PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

ISSUE 308 . August | September 2022

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Palmy Parents Centre is excited to have Puddleducks on board as our newest Gold level sponsor

Locally and family owned and operated 7 centres throughout the Manawatu including a Montessori Pre-school and our Puddleducks’ Private Kindergarten. Centrally located.

Spaces available now!

Enquire Today

0800 897 382

enquiries@puddleducks.co.nz PuddleducksPreschool

www.puddleducks.co.nz