PALMY PARENT PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
February / March . 2020
BOOK REVIEW WIN YOUR OWN COPY OF CLEO AND ROB
AN EVENING WITH RAISING ZIGGY NEWBORN CAR SEAT SAFETY TIPS WITH TREASURED CARGO NZ
AN EVENING WITH
Raising Ziggy
Join us for a night of fun, laughter, tears and more laughter all while enjoying the awesome company of like-minded people.
Saturday 14th March | Globe Theatre | Palmerston North Doors open 7.00pm for a 7.30pm start
Tickets $30 (includes first drink) Available for purchase at www.globetheatre.co.nz Proudly Presented by
EDITOR’S NOTE It’s been a bit of a slow start, but how’s this beautiful summer weather at last?! We hope you’ve all had a lovely holiday break, and the new decade is treating you well thus far. It’s certainly a time for new beginnings, and for many, 2020 is the time to make changes - and we’re no different. It’s been a wonderful couple of years editing this magazine for you, and being part of such a great organisation, but I’ve decided it’s time to pass the baton so to speak and let someone else take the reins, while I take more time to enjoy the kids and embark on some new adventures this year. You’ll still catch me writing and contributing articles, but I’m taking a back seat from now on. So without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to your new editor, Jess, a lovely local mum who has put together this excellent issue for you. Over to you, Jess!
Erin Evis, Editor
Welcome to our new editor Tēnā koutou katoa! Ko Taranaki te māunga te rū mei taku ngākau, ko pakeha tōku iwi, ko Jessica Ensing tōku ingoa. I’m Jess, and I’ll be taking over editorship this year. I’m originally from Taranaki but I’ve lived in the beautiful Manawatu for two years now. I’m looking forward to the challenge of taking on the magazine and hope to bring you lots of useful information, and some entertainment too! We’re always looking for ideas, so if you have suggestions for articles, family friendly outings, crafts, or products you’d like reviewed, please send them in to palmyparenteditor@ gmail.com. We’re also keen to hear about any family friendly events to add to our “What’s On” page, these need to be sent two months in advance please! This issue covers a variety of topics, but our big focus has been on convincing you to come and see Raising Ziggy, who is hosting an evening event in March to help raise money for Parents Center! We’d love to see you there!
Jessica Mollie Ensing Editor
ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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CONTENTS FEATURES An evening with Raising Ziggy
13
Parenting: Accepting your baby’s sleep
14
Parenting with depression and anxiety
16
Health: Weaning Blues
20
IN EVERY ISSUE Editor’s note
3
PNPC Seminars & Events
6
What’s on ... In our region
9
Book Review
10
Welcome to the World
11
Birth Story
18
Dad’s Life: Fatherhood
22
Newborn Car Seat Safety Tips with Treasured Cargo NZ
24
Product Review: Boba X Carrier
26
Family Friendly Outings: Te Papa’s Wonderland Exhibit
28
Craft: Sensory Shaker Bottles
30
Community support groups
32
Member discounts
33
Playgroups in your area
34
GOT SOMETHING TO SHARE?
CHECK OUT OUR WINNERS Bruce McKenzie Book Giveaway
10
Kind Hearts, Streetwise Coffee
27
The Hair Company styling treatment
29
Cottage Flowers Arrangement
30
CONTRIBUTORS J e s s i c a l M o l l i e E n s i g n , L a u r a We n d e n - G r e e n , Desiree Harvey, Rachel Mackay, Erin Evis, Jessica Ensing, Emily Holdaway, Jonathan Howe, Pinky McKay, Kelly Sutton Front cover: Isla, photo by: Tamara, Milldove Photography via Pop-ins
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Want to share some helpful advice or a great book you’ve read? Let us know and we’ll share it with our members. Or, if you would like to have your baby’s photos printed, write about your birth experience, review a book or a family friendly venue you have visited recently, we’d love to hear from you!
Email the Editor at: palmyparenteditor@gmail.com
COMMITTEE NEWS In December our Centre hosted our annual Christmas party. The children and their parents got into the theme and we had some cute Christmas outfits and enjoyed the Christmas themed music class. We had salt dough keepsake crafts for the babies and Christmas tree ornament decorating with jewels and stickers for the toddlers, which they enjoyed with gusto. There were Christmas themed photos in the studio of Milldove Photography next door which were available for purchase before Christmas for the last-minute presents. Lastly, we had an amazing Christmas themed morning tea of sweet and savoury options and everyone left with a good dose of Christmas cheer. A big thank you to Teresa Watson our Music and Movement facilitator and Tara Parkes our fundraising and events coordinator as well as our baking extraordinaire. Without these two the amazing Christmas event couldn’t go ahead. This month we say goodbye to committee member, Clare Corboy. She jumped straight in the Hostess coordinator role and brought her amazing organisation skills and her super friendly attitude to the role, we wish you well in your new journey Clare. We are currently recruiting for more volunteers on Facebook, if you are interested please send us an email on info@ palmyparentscentre.org.nz
so I would like to finish up this committee news with a poem that celebrates them.
Saritta and The Palmy Parents Centre Team
Dedicated Hearts by Kelly Roper
Dedicated hearts like yours Are not so easy to find. It takes a special person to be So generous and kind. So thank you for being a volunteer, We’re privileged to work with you. We want you to know how appreciated you are, Not just today, but the whole year through.
As a committee we celebrated another amazing year for the centre, we celebrated our volunteers by enjoying a Salt Room Session next door to the Centre at Halo Salt Rooms. Thank you to Halo for the fun and relaxation we all enjoyed. Our Volunteers are so important to the running of our centre, without them we couldn’t offer all the programs that we do,
Mission statement Positive birth experiences and informed parenting in a community where parents are supported and highly valued in their role.
LIKE US ON FACEBOOK
FACEBOOK.COM/PNORTHPC
Disclaimer: Opinions and articles in this magazine do not necessarily reflect Parents Centre NZ policy. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centre. ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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PNPC
SEMINARS & EVENTS FEBRUARY & MARCH NEWBORN BREASTFEEDING Saturday 8 February, 10am
making mealtimes easy and how you can support your toddler to develop a healthy relationship with food.
Designed for ALL expectant and new mums who are intending to, or have recently started breastfeeding. Learn how to prepare for and get started with breastfeeding, along with strategies for an effective and sustainable breastfeeding journey. You can attend this seminar while pregnant and again in the early weeks with your newborn. Partners welcome. Presented by Cheryl Benn, Lactation Consultant, selfemployed midwife, and Regional Midwifery Advisor to MidCentral and Whanganui DHB
Cost: $6 members; $12 non-members
Cost: Free to all INTRODUCTORY WATER SKILLS FOR INFANTS Venue: Lido Aquatic Centre Thursday 13 February, 11.30am Introduce your child to water in this “taster” swimming class. For babies and toddlers aged 5 months to 3 years old. Approximately 30 minutes duration. Cost: Free; this session is kindly provided by CLM Swim Magic.
STARTING SOLIDS Saturday 21 March, 10am Perfect for parents of 3-9 month olds. In this popular seminar with our new presenter Registered Dietitian and mum Megan Somerville, you will learn the signs that your baby is ready for complementary feeding, what to introduce when, other topics to ensure you are confident and ready for this next step. Cost: $6 members; $12 non-members RESPONSIVE PARENTING COURSE Sunday 22 March and Sunday 29 March, 9am-4pm Palmerston North Parents Centre’s Responsive Parenting Workshops are designed to encourage, support and equip families with positive, ‘responsive’ and non-punitive strategies for the parenting journey. Cost: $20 single; $35 couple
EXPLORE YOUR BIRTH STORY Sunday 23 February, 1pm A safe space to untangle your birth story with activities that support self-reflection. Wear comfortable clothing. Presented by Rebecca Robinson from Unique Beginnings and Aileen Devonshire from The Holistic Birth Company Cost: Gold coin donation, but please register on our website www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz FEEDING TODDLERS Saturday 7 March, 10am Join Registered Dietitian and mum Megan Somerville to discuss the practicalities of feeding 1-3 year olds. Learn about common challenges such as fussy eating, and discuss practical tips and strategies around 6 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
To register please see our website: http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ All seminars and events can be found in our calendar on the website. For any queries please email: info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz
WHAT’S ON . . .
in our region
FUN FOR THE FAMILY Explore Esplanade Day Sunday 16 February, 10am-4pm Victoria Esplanade Gardens, Fitzherbert St, Palmerston North Explore Esplanade Day gives you every reason to explore the 26 hectares of natural beauty and outstanding facilities while being entertained, surprised and enchanted. There’ll be live music and dance performances headlined by the amazing Captain Festus Mcboyle Traveling Variety Show, food and craft stalls and plenty of free activities for the whole family to enjoy. Bring the family, your hats and sunscreen - and connect with your community.
Awesome Awapuni Day- Whanau Wellbeing Day 2020 Saturday 22 February, 10am-2pm Rangitane Marae, 140-148 Maxwells Line, Palmerston North If you live in Awapuni you are welcome to join us with a traditional welcome powhiri at 10am for a 11am start. We’ve moved to Best Care - Whakapai Hauora marae on 140 Maxwells Line, learn more about what your community offers & how you can be involved in the next Awesome Awapuni Group project! Free Healthy eating options, featuring the now world famous in Awapuni Rotary Stir-Fry & Plant-to-Plate Aotearoa. Free entertainment On stage & On the field: family games and much, much more!
Urban Rogaine - Run Riot Saturday 29 February, 9:15am-12pm Massey University Childcare Centre, Bourke Road, Massey University Campus, Palmerston North Team Pre-sales: $25.00 | Team on the day cash: $30.00 Rogaine is an event that involves navigation, strategy and teamwork and caters for a wide range of competitors, from family groups to elite athletes who choose their own challenge to match their abilities and experience.
Lantern Parade | Festival of Cultures Saturday 29 February, 7pm-10pm The Square, Palmerston North The Lantern Parade is back for 2019 on Saturday 16 March in The Square. Come and celebrate the Year Of The Pig with this spectacle of colour as the giant, hand crafted lanterns make their way though The Square. With food trucks, live music from The Kannisters and giant lanterns made by members of the community and the Rangiwahia Environmental Arts Centre (REACT), this free family event has something for everyone!
Cornerstone Gala 2020 Saturday 7 March, 10am-2pm Cornerstone Christian School, 61 Roberts Line, Palmerston North Come on down to our amazing gala! We are fundraising for our awesome school and really appreciate your support. There will be loads of family friendly activities as well as our garage sale, clothing stall, book stalls and a Silent Auction! Share this event to friends and family and join us for a fantastic day out.
World Fair Day | Festival of Cultures Saturday 7 March, 10am-4pm The Square, Palmerston North A full week of celebration of cultural diversity culminates with the World, Food, Craft and Music Fair on Saturday 23 March at Te Marae o Hine – The Square, Palmerston North. Music, food, crafts, costumes, workshops and the popular “Have a Go” where festival-goers can try something from another culture, will all contribute to this magical occasion. The week-long festival will begin on Saturday 16 March with the colourful illuminated Lantern Parade in The Square.
An Evening With Raising Ziggy Saturday 14 March, 7pm-10pm The Globe Theatre, 312 Main Street, Palmerston North Grab the girls, throw on a frock (or not) and join popular blogger and childrens book author, Em from Raising Ziggy for a hilarious night reflecting on life, parenting and vaginas.
PNCC MOVIES IN THE PARKS
5 Movies in 5 locations 7pm activities start - 7.30pm Movies start The Lion King February 5th Celaeno Park, Kelvin Grove
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World February 21th IPU Recreation Centre, Summerhill Toy Story 4 February 28th Linton Camp Incredibles 2 March 20th Raleigh Street Reserve, Awapuni Aladdin March 27th Longburn School ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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ADVERTISE IN PALMY PARENT Palmerston North Parents Centre has a circulation of over 250 magazines per issue. These are sent to all current members as well as Plunket, midwives and other community groups. Our rates are extremely competitive and we would love your support by way of an advertisement. Also, in addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six adverts per annum. For more information contact our Business Relations Officer by email at: palmyparent@hotmail.com One-off price
4 per year
6 per year
Quarter page
$50
4 x $40
6 x $35
Half page
$80
4 x $60
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Insert or flyer
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In addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six half or full-page adverts per annum
PARENT CENTRE PARTNERS:
8 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
MEMBERS’ OFFERS: Free barista hot drink or pair of grips socks when you present your membership card at a coffee and kids morning on Mon to Thur 10-12. For Children under 6, $7 per child (Parents get free entry)
Visit our facebook page @ fantailsnestnz and receive free shipping using the code: PALMYFLYSFREE
www.thesleepstore.co.nz
20%OFF
Enter the coupon code PARENTS20 at the checkout to SAVE on selected items at The Sleep Store To see which items you can apply the discount to visit www.thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre
Unique Beginnings
Visit www.thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre for further details & exclusions on this offer. Coupon applies to selected items listed on this webpage, Offer cannot be used with coupons, vouchers, discounts, 2-pack offers or combo deals. Cannot be used on shipping fee or other brand items, gift cards or in conjunction with any other offer or discount. The Sleep Store reserves the right to update or amend this offer at any time.
with Rebecca Robinson
Birth preparation & beyond, Lactation Consultant support
www.uniquebeginnings.co.nz
5% OFF all services
ph: 021 066 0394
Pay no booking fee when enrolling with Puddleducks if parents centre member ($50 saving)
ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
9
BOOK REVIEW
CLEO AND ROB Story by Helen Brown, Illustrations by Phoebe Morris Reviewed by Desiree Harvey Available from Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George St for $22.99 This is a children’s story-book like no other, based on true events from the authors’ family, and dealing with a death in the family. We meet young brothers Sam and Rob, who visit a new kitten litter and fall in love with the smallest kitten. Sam convinces their Mum that they should be able to take her home, but they have to wait as the kitten is too young to leave her mother yet. Sam decides she looks like an Egyptian princess and names her Cleo. While they are waiting for the kitten to arrive, an unthinkable accident occurs leaving Sam dead. Younger brother Rob is so sad, he doesn’t know how to deal with the situation, until Cleo arrives unexpectedly and he forms a bond with her and begins to feel brave enough to return to normal life again. This story is the recent picture book adaptation of the author’s best-selling 2010 memoir Cleo, is confronting and emotional, and certain to elicit questions from children who read it. The depiction of sudden loss and grief from a child’s perspective is so well worded, heart wrenching yet hopeful, and shows the restorative power of a loving pet in the family. A must read for older children who are dealing with, or have questions about, loss, death, grief, and dying, but I would recommend keeping the tissues handy and making space for a thought provoking discussion.
I V G E A K WAY O O B Be in to win this issue’s reviewed book!
Just follow these 3 easy steps!
1
To enter the draw to win this issue’s book, email your name, with ‘Book Giveaway’ in the subject line to info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz
2
14 th March 2020 That’s
all!
The winner’s name will be printed in the next issue of the Palmy Parent and the winner can collect their book from the Palmy Parent Centre.
ratu Cong lation Teresa Watson
: s to
3
Entries for the next draw must be received by
who has won a copy of ‘Flossie and The Burglars’
10 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
The children’s book reviewed above has been generously donated by Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North to give away to a lucky Parents Centre Member. Bruce McKenzie’s Booksellers is situated in George Street beside the entrance to the Palmerston North Library. Bruce McKenzie’s carries an enormous range of books from children’s to specialist non-fiction and is definitely worth a visit. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask the staff who are always willing to help.
WELCOME TO THE WORLD
WELCOME TO THE WORLD Welcome to all the new babies born to our wonderful Parent Centre members! If there are any corrections to the list below, please email palmyparenteditor@gmail.com
Class: 3rd September 2019 | Hostess: Patrice Palleson-Putt | CBE: Jess
Maddie Bron Pedersen born to
Evelyn Yuna Yi born to
Per Henrik & Katie Pedersen
Steven Yi & Su Mee Shin
8 November 2019
8 November 2019
Breagha Jane Clements
Frankie Mae Lewis
born to
born to
Bryan Clements & Jennifer Hamilton
Scott & Holly Lewis
9 November 2019
11 November 2019
Evelyn (Evie) Margaret Littlewood born to
Kat & David Littlewood
13 November 2019
Miller Rowdy White born to
Issac White & Emma Weld
15 November 2019
Mia Rose Palevich born to
Nik & Faith Palevich
24 November 2019
Pippa Esme Bell born to
Anna & Josh Bell
11 December 2019 ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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Class: 3rd October 2019 | Hostess: Rhianne Fee | CBE: Jess White
Charles Bo-An Chu
Amaya Cierra Chand
born to
born to
Mia Zhou & Shane Chu
Sarah Counsell & Ra Chand
30 November 2019
12 December 2019
Matilda May Wallace born to
Degan Wallace & Emily Snelleksz
1 January 2020
The Koru Study SEEKING PREGNANT WOMEN to take part in a study measuring body composition changes during pregnancy & early infancy If you are in your FIRST TRIMESTER of pregnancy we would love to hear from you
For more information visit: www.thekorustudy.com If you are interested in joining this study, please contact Ciara Phone: (06) 951 6366 Text: (021) 1 605 805 Email: thekorustudy@massey.ac.nz This project has been reviewed and approved by the Health & Disability Ethics Committee: 19/CEN/47
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FEATURE
AN EVENING WITH RAISING ZIGGY For one night only, Palmerston North Parents Centre is proud to present Emily Holdaway, AKA Raising Ziggy! So clear your calendar and book your tickets for the evening of Saturday 14th of March, as this one is guaranteed to be an entertaining night. If you haven’t heard of her before, Emily first became known for her blog and facebook page, Raising Ziggy, which chronicles an honest and realistic window into her life as a first time parent. The blog covers everything from newborn sleep to prolapses, and now also includes her second child, Jagger. If you want a taste of what Emily writes about, you can find one of her blog posts in our Parenting Column this month. As well as running Raising Ziggy, and literally raising Ziggy and Jagger, Emily has a green thumb and runs a facebook page called The Urban Good Life, which has recently chronicled the creation of a food forest in her backyard. She also founded a pay-it-forward cloth nappy group on Facebook, which assists parents to try cloth nappies by gifting them a small pack and providing them with guidance on how to use them. Last year Emily partnered with MyCup NZ to create The Good Fund, a charitable group that aims to make reusable menstrual products accessible to all menstruating people. Through this, Emily has run a nationwide fill-a-bag fundraiser selling used children’s clothes and spoken at many different events targeted at those of us who menstruate.
It’s definitely not a parenting “how to” evening, more like getting to know your favourite influencer a little better over a glass of something cool and delicious. Over the course of the evening, Emily will reflect on life, parenting and vaginas, among other things. There’ll be plenty of laughs and you’ll probably learn a bit more about Emily along the way. There’s also a question and answer session, so if there’s anything you want to know about any of the things mentioned above, you can send your questions to the Palmerston North Parents Centre Facebook page and we’ll make sure they get to Emily before the night. This event isn’t just for mums, though. The men in your life might not find the talk about menstrual cups and pelvic floors to be their kind of jam but there’ll be plenty for your friends without children to enjoy and have a giggle at. That being said, this is an evening with mums in mind, so if you need to bring your baby, they’ll be welcome. So grab your tickets, come along, and enjoy a great night out full of laughter and stories!
Emily is also active on Patreon, where she is working on telling the sometimes funny, sometimes emotive, story of her life, as well as running an exclusive Facebook group, The EMbassy, for her Patreons. Last year Emily also published a children’s book, Sunflowers Don’t Grow in Winter, “a true story of hope, determination, and a little boy’s love of sunflowers.” So, what can you expect from An Evening With Raising Ziggy? Definitely lots of laughs, and some swearing too. ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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PARENTING
ACCEPTING YOUR BABY’S SLEEP By Emily Holdaway It’s been two and a half years since our first child was born. Two and a half years since I’ve had a full night’s sleep. If you had told me this before motherhood I would have laughed at you. Or looked at you in horror. Or invested heavily in Moccona shares (why do I continue to drink it when it tastes so bad?). What I wouldn’t have expected was how great I would feel. I think we come into parenthood with unrealistic expectations of what the first year will look like – especially regarding sleep. During pregnancy everyone jokes about how tired you will be, but you never quite believe them. And then, once your baby is born, everyone changes focus to their sleep. Is your baby sleeping? Is your baby not sleeping? How much sleep does your baby sleep? And you think – hold on a minute, you just spent months telling me I’m going to be tired, and now you’re expecting my child to be sleeping all night long? That makes no sense. But you’re too tired to think about it any further, so you shrug, and scull your lukewarm coffee. All the jokes, all the memes, all the assumptions about non-sleeping babies, they miss 50% of the equation.
No one is focusing on you. No one asks how you are sleeping; they just assume it’s not going well. Sleep is not just about the baby. It’s about the parents too. And it’s not a battle with a winner and a loser. What if instead of focusing on how our baby is sleeping at night (which is a total luck of the draw) we worked out how to make nights more restful for us parents – while still balancing our babies’ need for responsiveness through the night? That’s been my family’s focus. We knew early on in our parenting journey that sleep training was not for us, and our baby’s need for us during the night was something we were going to answer, each and every time. Eventually we realised that by switching our focus from getting our children to sleep ‘better’ to instead getting better sleep ourselves, we could balance their nighttime needs with our nighttime needs. Right now, with a two and a half year old and a six month old, every night is a blur. Feeding, bum patting, negotiating with a toddler who doesn’t want to let go, swearing as the baby wakes again, and yoyo-ing between the bed and the mattress depending who is calling me.
BaBY Study Do you want to know how much milk you produce and if supplements will increase it? If you are • • • •
Aged 16 years or older, Breastfeeding your baby, Happy with using a breast pump, Living within 1 hour driving distance from Palmerston North.
You are welcome to take part in this study! In this study, you will • • • • • •
Take a supplement for four weeks Visit the researcher three times Pump milk from your breast in each visit Give 50 ml breast milk in each visit to analyse your milk Complete 6 online questionnaires Record your baby’s feeding and nappy change in two separate days
Please contact: Ms Lili Jia (PhD candidate and main investigator) Email: baby@massey.ac.nz Telephone: 06 951 6367 Cell phone: 022 191 0568 Or scan this QR Code to check your eligibility for this study first.
This project has been reviewed and approved by the Massey University Human Ethics Committee: Southern A, Application 18/80. If you have any concerns about the conduct of this research, please contact Dr Lesley Batten, Chair, Massey University Human Ethics Committee: Southern A, telephone 06 356 9099 x 85094, email humanethicsoutha@massey.ac.nz.
https://massey.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_b89iAGXEamSWz Ep
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My partner helps where he can, but his boobs are redundant so right now it’s mainly on me. I should be an exhausted wreck. But I’m not. Why not? Acceptance. I understand that my children waking at night is biologically normal. Frustrating at times, but not something I can change. Time will do that eventually. Acceptance. I go to bed fully prepared for multiple wake-ups. There’s less disappointment this way. Acceptance. I know I am going to wake up so there’s no need to keep track. I don’t count how many times I wake. I don’t time how long I sleep. I don’t gauge how many hours left before I get up. That drives you up the wall. Put the clock away, delete the timing apps. Acceptance. Our bed is not the marital bed (not that we’re married anyway), it’s the ‘family bed’. This way I
don’t have to get up and go to another room, or sit in a chair, or do much more than roll over and pop out a boob, or roll off down to the toddler and pop out a boob. Acceptance.
Coffee and kids
Some nights are going to be choice. Some nights are going to be horrid. Some nights I am going to lose my cool and feel defeated and cry. And I’m going to be okay with that. Bad nights happen. Good nights happen too. Acceptance.
Parents play groups daycares
MOn to thur 9am - 10Am under 5S $7 per child & parents jump for FREe
It is not forever. Never again will they need me as intensely as they do now. Acceptance. Oh and showering every morning. Every. Morning. I do not feel human until I shower. And to make sure I do shower, and not just focus on how tired I am while lazing about the house in pajamas, I don’t wear any. So yeah, there you have it. The solution to sleep, or lack thereof. Acceptance. And no pajamas. First published by thespinoff.co.nz/parenting
ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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FEATURE
PARENT ING WITH DEP RESSION AND ANXIE T Y If you’re struggling with depression, you might find yourself battling with negative thoughts, persistent low moods most days, loss of interest in activities that you’d usually find enjoyable, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, difficulty thinking or concentrating and possibly even thoughts of death or suicide. Anxiety often accompanies depression and often brings a preoccupation with unpleasant worries, trouble relaxing, often feeling tense or a fear that something awful might happen. Dealing with all of this, plus coping with the demands of children can be overwhelmingly difficult. Parenting is a challenging task, even when you’re feeling great; but if you’re trying to cope with anxiety or depression it can sometimes seem impossible. Aristotle in his Nicomachean Ethics, once wrote that what constitutes a good life for a human is that which makes us flourish. In other words a meaningful life is one lived in accordance with what you value. Values are at the heart of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). ACT is used by psychologists and other health practitioners to help people struggling with depression and anxiety, and it is readily applied to parenting. ACT therapists often begin therapy by looking at a person’s values as the motivation for changing the way we respond to negative thoughts and emotions and as a roadmap for life when things are difficult. Often the pain of depression can feel unbearable and like a huge heavy weight which we cannot carry. The first step, therefore, is to decide what is most important in your life as a parent? Is it raising your children to be kind? Is it enjoying being a parent? Starting with what you value the most about having children allows you to consciously and deliberately choose your actions during the day. A good starting point is to make a list of your values. It doesn’t have to be long. Next, set a couple of really small, achievable goals. For example, if you have decided that spending quality time with your children is one of the things you value about parenting, you might set a goal of spending 10 minutes engaged with your
child in an activity you can both share or discuss. How does that feel I wonder? To choose to act in accordance with what you find meaningful can come with a sense of freedom, in other cases it takes repetition to begin to feel the rewards. Often pain and struggle happens wherever there is something we care about, being curious about the feelings you experience can reveal a lot about what you hold important: if your tears could talk, what would they be saying? Parents may also find it useful to ‘drop an anchor’, come back to the present moment and notice what’s in your immediate environment. For example, what are 5 things you can hear or see right now? When battling depression and anxiety, it is easy to spend time in your own head, thoughts circling around and around. Depression can feel like a lead weight at the bottom of your stomach, or a crushing tiredness and inability to cope. Taking your awareness away from this even for a moment is a break. Your problems won’t be solved, but it is OK to take a break from them and building micro breaks of this kind into your day is a good practice. And last but not least don’t forget to breathe. People struggling with depression often have a lowered heart rate variability, meaning the heart beats more like a metronome than it should. Our heart beats faster and slower from second to second, adjusting its rate in accordance with the demands of the environment and our physiology. As you breathe in, heart rate speeds up; breathe out and it slows down. When the pain of depression, or a wave of anxiety hits, try to breathe from the diaphragm, so the tummy expands as you breathe in, and
16 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
collapse when you exhale. Breathe in for 4 seconds, let it out slowly for 6 seconds, and pause for two seconds. Then repeat. With each breath, draw your attention to the feel of the air entering your nose and leaving the body again. You can do this while watching the children. This can be done during housework or when nursing a little one. Practicing breathing in this way can relieve anxiety and tension help raise well-being. Lastly don’t be afraid to call for help. Your GP can assist you with deciding whether you are experiencing depression and discuss treatment options and a referral for counselling with you and if you are having thoughts of suicide or harming yourself of someone else, the emergency mental health crisis team are available on: 0800 653 357.​ You could also contact the depression helpline, available 24/7 on: 0800 111 757 or the Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865. Resources: Stuff that sucks by Ben Sedley available on the Book Depository, or The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.
ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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BIRTH STORY
INSTANT LOVE... OUR DAUGHTER’S ARRIVAL By Anon My mother always likes to remind me that I was born two weeks postdates, and I was pretty sure that my own baby would follow suit. Sure enough, the due date came and went, and time slowed down to a crawl. I was feeling really impatient and just wanted to meet our daughter! Six days postdates my midwife attempted a stretch and sweep; not a pleasant experience, but it seemed to get things started. I had bloody show, and in the evening I started to get tightenings. I went to bed convinced that these faint pains would develop into labour. No such luck. Then eight days postdates my waters broke. Just a trickle really, but again I went to bed excited that things were definitely going to get started. The next morning I woke up perplexed. No more waters leaking, and no labour pains. My midwife advised going into hospital for a checkup. Tests and ultrasound showed that I had indeed lost some amniotic fluid, and baby was doing just fine. However, due to the risk of infection, they recommended induction if labour didn’t get underway soon. I was given the choice of being induced there and then, or coming back to hospital the next day if labour didn’t get started on its own overnight. I didn’t fancy another night of waiting so I decided on immediate
induction. One dose of gel was inserted and I was told, “This probably won’t work and then we’ll need to give you another dose in the morning, so try and rest.” Fat chance of that! Within a couple of hours I was having strong and regular contractions. What I remember most clearly is a fierce burning sensation in my lower back. Mentally, I found the start of each contraction was the worst, because I knew it was only going to build in intensity. At the peak of each contraction, although the pain was at its worst, I felt calmer knowing that it would soon die away. Initially they were far enough apart that I could smile and joke between contractions, and I was still able to stand. When I had discussed my birth plan with my midwife I had said that I wanted to remain as upright and active as possible during my labour, but I only managed to complete one lap of the labour ward before things got too intense for me to walk around. The hospital midwives hooked me up to the foetal monitor at that stage, which limited walking and moving anyway.I loved hearing my baby’s heartbeat, and found it really reassuring. It also gave me something to focus on. By early evening my contractions were coming right on top of each other, with no time for recovery in between. I was shaking with exertion, and kept on vomiting every time I tried to lay down. Dehydration became an issue and so I was hooked up to an IV. Gas and air helped a little bit - the rubber mouthpiece was great to chomp on! I managed to spend some time sitting on a swiss ball rather than leaning on the bed, and the rest of my waters came out in a rush all over the floor. Birth can be messy! I had my eyes clenched shut through most of this time, but my poor partner saw it all. All I can remember clearly from this stage was his voice, calm and clear, urging me to breathe more slowly. One of the most amazing things to come from my birth experience was the closeness I felt with him. Going through such an intense experience together really does transform your relationship to another level. By around 10pm I had reached my limit and I requested an epidural. Unfortunately, due to low staffing in the ward I wasn’t able to receive one straight away. Then two women in the labour ward
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had emergencies, which meant that all available staff were called away to help them. It ended up being two more hours before I received the epidural. While I was waiting my midwife gave me some fentanyl to try and reduce my pain, but I don’t remember it being much help. The epidural was amazing! Within minutes of it taking effect I was able to lay down comfortably and relax. Then an internal examination revealed I was at 8cm, wahoo! I felt great to know that during all that pain I had achieved something. Surely I would get to meet my baby soon. My labour stalled. Contractions died away, not that I could feel anything. I was hooked up to the syntocinon drip to try and get things going again, and the hospital midwives advised me to try and get some sleep. But I was still too excited, and since the midwives would pop in frequently to check our vitals, it’s no wonder I didn’t sleep a wink. All night my partner and I waited, talking quietly to each other, our baby’s heartbeat thrumming away in the background. In the morning I was examined again several times, by several different doctors, but I was still at 8-9cm. My cervix was swelling rather than dilating - we found out later it was because my daughter’s head was jammed against it sideways. Throughout
the second half of my pregnancy I’d tried a lot of exercises to keep her in a good position for labour but she obviously had other ideas! By mid-morning it was clear I wasn’t going to dilate any further, and by now there was meconium in the waters and baby’s heart rate indicated she was going into distress. It was time for a caesarean section. The midwives and doctors were wonderfully supportive. I didn’t feel stressed or pressured into anything. We were making the right choice for our baby. The surgery itself was remarkably quick, and there was a happy, relaxed atmosphere in the operating theatre. Hearing my daughter’s first cry was fantastic. She arrived at midday, over 20 hours since my induction started. Another special moment was seeing my partner have the first cuddle. He’d never held a baby before! Then she was brought over to me and I got to stare into her beautiful wide eyes for the first time. Instant love. I want women to know that even if their births do not go according to their birth plan, and end up being very medicalised, they can still be a positive experience. The most important thing to me was the safe arrival of a healthy baby. I was pleasantly surprised by how smoothly my physical recovery went in the weeks following the birth.
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HEALTH
WEANING BLUES Pinky Mckay It’s perfectly normal to have feelings of grief and self doubt when weaning from breastfeeding happens earlier than you have planned. But there can be other, strong emotions, including vicious mood swings that can be related to weaning, whatever the age of your child or if this was a ‘natural’ weaning decided by your baby or a gradual ‘mother –led’ weaning. While there is a plethora of research about postnatal depression and awareness programs, there is a lack of information about post weaning depression and a paucity of awareness, even among health professionals. One mum who suggested her diagnosis of clinical depression seemed to be associated with weaning was told by her psychiatrist, “well, if that’s what you want to believe.” Is it any wonder then, that women who experience symptoms of depression, including extreme sadness, low energy and vicious mood swings, around weaning are anxious about speaking out? In fact, most discussion of post weaning depression comes from the ‘blogosphere’. Breastfeeding is a finely tuned chemical connection between mother and child. Although there is
a veritable cocktail of hormones involved in breastfeeding and mother/infant bonding, the hormones prolactin and oxytocin are most important for milk production. While prolactin is known colloquially as the hormone of tender nurturing, oxytocin is often referred to as ‘the love hormone’. And it seems that the withdrawal of these two hormones which give mothers a sense of calm as well as encouraging a strong connection with their babies, could be the link to post weaning depression. Alison Stuebe, an obstetrician-gynecologist at UNC’s Gillings School of Global Public Health, led a pilot study of 52 mothers of infants, which found that depressed mothers produced less oxytocin during breastfeeding. That research, published in the Journal of Women’s Health, raised the interesting question of whether there is something wrong with a woman’s oxytocin production that is making her anxious and depressed, or is the anxiety repressing the oxytocin,” Stuebe said. While this study was investigating the link between depression and oxytocin in women who had ‘failed’ breastfeeding experiences, Dr Stuebe says “we
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don’t have the data that measure oxytocin levels with breastfeeding and weaning. It’s certainly plausible that losing that is going to make people feel physically bad, independent of any cognitive sadness they’re experiencing.” The good news is that unlike postnatal depression which can take months or even longer to recover from, post weaning depression seems to be shortlived and, although it can be debilitating, usually resolves within weeks as women’s hormones rebalance. For other women though, medical help may be necessary to overcome depression. This is a quality of life issue and if low moods, mood swings and symptoms of depression are present for more than two weeks, it is wise to seek help.
as eating healthy foods and exercising to boost your endorphins (happy hormones) and meditation to help you feel calm. Pinky Mckay is Australia’s most recognised and respected breastfeeding and gentle parenting expert. She’s a mum of five, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and bestselling baby care author. She has an ebook ‘Weaning With Love’, covering all aspects of weaning whether you are starting family foods, wondering how to gently encourage your toddler to wean or needing reassurance that your little one will wean naturally.
Of course, many women will wean babies without any psychological side effects apart from the normal sadness that goes with realising your tiny baby has grown into a little person who needs you in different ways. The best way to wean and avoid sudden hormonal withdrawal is to consider the mantra ‘gradually, with love’, dropping breastfeeds slowly over several weeks or longer. A good rule of thumb is to drop no more than one feed a week. And, to help you stay chemically balanced, try implementing other activities that will release oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ – cuddling and intimacy with your partner, massages, sharing fun and food with friends, as well
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DAD’S LIFE
FATHERHOOD By Jonathon Howe A good friend told me just after my son was born to not feel too bad if I wasn’t immediately struck by a lightning bolt of love. In the midst of all the support I received from friends and family at the time, this was the one piece of advice that stood apart. Perhaps the reason it resonated with me so much was because it was an eerily accurate description of how I was feeling. My son Grayson was born on December 23 at 3.48am, his mother having gone into labour the evening prior. We were told his birth wasn’t especially easy - it was our first so we lacked any frame of reference – and it ended with a trip to the hospital theatre. My fiancé was an absolute superstar throughout the labour, despite the obvious discomfort she was subjected to over a number of torturous hours. But regardless of how much of a brave face she put on, I couldn’t help but feel extremely worried about her. This anxiety was exacerbated when she suffered
post-pregnancy complications, which required some urgent attention from medical staff. This frantic action took place immediately after the birth, so as I helped to clean up my son in the opening seconds of his life, I found myself torn between tending to him and checking to see if his mum was OK. It certainly detracted from the overall serenity of the moment but, fortunately, both mum and baby came through just fine. Though I was only a bit player in the grand scheme of things that night, I did find myself running the gamut of emotions. There was stress, anxiety, panic, elation, exhaustion, anger, delight and, ultimately, a tidal wave of relief once it was over. But one thing that surprised me was the absence of any immediate and overwhelming feeling of love for my new son. I’m not saying I felt nothing for him. I was amazed by his arrival, especially after the months of anticipation, and I knew that I cared for him and was protective
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of him. There was not, however, the instantaneous and uncontrollable feeling of unrequited love that I had read about and seen in films. There is a perception that this is how you should feel after the birth of your child. Many fathers undoubtedly do experience this type of overwhelming emotion but I also believe there are many who do not feel this way at first. And I suspect a number of these men feel they have to pretend or stay quiet for fear of how their true feelings will be perceived by their partners and families. If there is one thing that I have learnt during my short stint as a father it’s that it is imperative to be as helpful and supportive as possible through the
to comfort himself after being picked up from his cot. There was the moment he realized he could splash his legs in the bath and cover dad in a watery mess. There was the moment I was able to get him to sleep singing an Ed Sheeran song as I rocked him in my arms. There was that gummy, infectious smile that filled me with so much happiness I could cry. I haven’t been a dad for very long and I have a lot to learn, but I know that I would do anything for my son and that his life means more to me than my own. That it took me a week or two to realize this does not make me any less of a dad, it just means I’m human.
pregnancy, labour and the first few weeks of your baby’s life. I have seen just how incredibly difficult this time is for the mum, with sleep deprivation, breast feeding complications and the loss of freedom to name but a few of the trials. Because of this all-encompassing connection my son has to his mum, there are times when I have felt a sense of disconnection from the relationship. This sense of feeling like a ‘third wheel’ has certainly been something I have thought about. Fortunately I have been able to talk about it with my fiancé, and we’ve both tried to ensure that I include myself in the process, whether it’s giving him a bath, settling him for a nap or giving him a bottle of expressed milk. I think it’s very important for fathers to be able to feel like they can be open and honest about these feelings without fear of being branded selfish, or accused of diminishing the efforts of their partner. We all experience love in different ways. It hits some of us like a runaway train, while for others it can creep up on. It did not take long for me to fall deeply in love with my son, but there was no single event that prompted it. It was all about a series of small moments. There was the moment he snuggled into my shoulder ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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BABY SAFETY
NEWBORN CAR SEAT SAFETY TIPS WITH TREASURED CARGO NZ We know car seats can be very confusing (over 80% of car seats are installed or being used incorrectly!!). Luckily, we’re here to help. We’re local Car Seat Technicians that hire, sell, advise, install and educate. We believe Informed Parents = Safer Kids. Follow our tips to keep your newborn super safe. 022 126 3203 or on Facebook.
1. Read your manual and try your seat in the car before your baby arrives. Make sure you can get a correct and solid install. Not all newborn car seats in NZ fit in all cars. And sadly some don’t fit newborn babies properly at all. If it doesn’t fit safely, you have every right to return it to where you bought it from and get one that will fit safely.
2. Baby needs to sit at a 45 degree angle. You may need to adjust your base or use a rolled up towel to achieve the correct angle. If you can not get this angle safely, the seat is not safe for your baby. Contact us for help.
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3. All infant car seats MUST face the back of the car (rear face). Keeping your child rear facing to 3-4yrs old reduces risk of death by 95%. Do your own research on this to truly understand the importance of rear facing.
4. Make sure the harness straps are snug and close around baby’s hips and shoulders and that the crotch buckle is close to their booty. The shoulder straps should be low enough to fit a very small and new person. Check this before baby arrives as not all seats will adjust this small.
5. If your capsule doesn’t come with a base, it may need a very long seatbelt to install correctly. These types of seats can be tricky to get a solid install. If a base is an option, it will make your life easier (just what you need with a newborn!)
with the harness placement. Try a rolled up muslin on either side of baby’s body and head.
7. Always keep baby’s straps done up and snug when they are in the car seat, even if you’re not travelling. Babies have died from being left un-buckled in their carseat. They can slump down causing their head to fall forward and block their airway. Always snug like a hug!
8. Do not leave baby asleep in the capsule for long periods of time. Car seats are not beds. It’s safest to take baby out and lay them flat or wear them in an appropriate wrap.
9. *Remember, we hire newborn capsules with bases! Hiring is a great option, contact us!*
6. If your seat didn’t come with a head support/surround, do not add a store bought one. They have not been crash tested with your seat and can interfere ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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PRODUCT REVIEW
CARRIER PRODUCT REVIEW: BOBA X By Emily Holdaway There is an upgrade sweeping the babywearing world, and Boba, with their recently released Boba X, is the latest to join the ‘newborn to toddler, no insert needed’ baby carrier club. I was lucky enough to get my hands on one bang on release day, and I’ve been wearing it ever since. Kangatraining, walks around the lake, doing the shopping. If I’ve had to wear Jagger, I’ve worn him in the Boba X. The carrier is very simple to modify. It has an easy to cinch, velcro waistband, and the body panel adjusts with a simple buckle on the shoulder strap which doubles as a PFA (personal fit adjuster). The fabric is thin and soft. It’s cotton, not as plush as wrap conversion fabric, but much nicer than the rough weave of most buckle carriers, and softer I think than the previous model, the 4G. It has a hood that tucks away neatly, and two small pockets on the waistband, one with a zip so nothing important gets lost. I found once I had the carrier on the tension made the pocket too tight to fit my phone in case, or my keys. It also has a little loop with clasp on the shoulder where you can thread through a narrow handbag strap, or a toy to keep grabby hands from pulling your hair. The carrier allows for front facing and back carrying. It does not forward face, which is not an issue for me as I prefer to have babies facing in, and then move to a back
carry. However as back carrying in a buckle carrier is generally not until around 6 months, and the nosy stage kicks in around four months, it’s something to consider. The straps are grey and straight out of the box they are very stiff. I recommend you work them a bit before you wear the carrier as the first few times I really had to put effort into adjusting them. They are getting smoother to adjust with use, but they don’t glide yet. The straps allow for the standard H formation and also crossed straps when worn on the front, and they are designed in a way that you can move them through either buckle, so you can adjust how much slack you have to tighten comfortably, depending if you’re wearing on the front or the back. The padding on the shoulder straps is a bit annoying because I need them done up as tight as possible and the padding scrunches. AJ doesn’t have this issue as he is bigger than me, so there is more slack in the straps. I’m about an NZ size 10/12, so if you are any smaller, you might struggle getting the straps tight enough. The waistband and shoulders do extend quite a bit, the waistband length is equal to most other carriers I have at about 140cm, but the shoulder straps are a bit shorter than the other carriers at 93cm. I am unsure how far through plus size wearers the Boba X would be comfortable. The design for the chest-clip is unique to Boba and the position of the clip is easily adjustable as it slides on a rail,
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instead of being attached as a pronged buckle, making it easy to move up or down, and to adjust between wearers. The easy adjustability of the chest-clip does mean it rides up very easily, and when I moved for a front to back carry, the clip would ride up and get in the way. However, once I had Jagger there, it was a matter of un-clipping it, moving it down, then re-clipping it to help keep it in place. So, that’s how it works. Does it go from newborn to toddler? Yes and no. The youngest baby I tried in the Boba 4G was a friend’s four week old, and with everything cinched, it still felt a little big. But I don’t consider this a negative point, as with all the recent ‘no insert, newborn to toddler’ carriers I have tried, none of them work well in those early days. Newborns are small. Buckle carriers are roomy. My advice is to have a stretchy wrap or a ring sling at first. I used the Boba stretchy with Jagger, as early as three days old and it was amazing.
And what about for toddlers? Because while parents may not start babywearing expecting to carry a three year old, it can be a very handy tool when little legs get too tired to walk. The Boba X has two panel extenders that attach (zip and velcro) to each side of the panel to widen it. Ziggy is 2 years and 8 months old and as you can see, with the extenders on it fits him very comfortably, better than any of the other ‘newborn to toddler’ carriers I have. Yes the panel does not reach all the way up his back, but at this age that’s not important, toddlers much prefer to have their arms out anyway. I was actually quite dubious about the ‘to toddler’ claim as another ‘newborn to toddler’ carrier I have is so narrow Zigg’s legs dangle uncomfortably. But the Boba X was great and he enjoyed his jaunt around the garden. Which is good, because they’re toddlers for longer than they’re tiny newborns. Since this review was written, Boba has released around 15 new pattern options, including solid colours and patterns, so there’s something to suit everyone. We gifted our grey carrier to the local babywearing Library and got this instead, being that the name seemed fitting for this family! So there you go, at $249 the price is at the higher end of the ‘newborn to toddler’ carriers, but considering how well it carries a toddler, you are going to get a good amount of use from it and, because you’re reading this review, you also get 20% off! You can get your Boba X here in New Zealand through The Sleep Store. Use the discount code: raisingziggy for 20% off the entire Boba and Beco range, including stretchy wraps, toddler carriers, the Boba 4G, the Boba X and babywearing hoodies. If you enjoyed this review, Emily is also on Facebook, Instagram and Patreon. The Boba X is also available to try at Manawatu Babywearers sling library. Sponsored review: In exchange for this review, Emily was given her Boba X from The Sleep Store
Congratulates
Tidawan Pothi For winning a Treatment, Cut and Blowwave for being a current Palmerston North Patents Centre member Ph: 358 4010 | Hotel Coachman,134 Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North | thehaircompany.co.nz Open Mon - Sat, late nights Tues and Thur
ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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FAMILY FRIENDLY OUTING
TE PAPA’S WONDERLAND EXHIBIT By Rachel Mackay When the lady waiting at the entrance finishes her spiel about navigating the exhibit with an unusual declaration to “touch everything, see what you can find, and remember to open every door and drawer”, you breathe a sigh of parental relief – my toddler is welcome here and I can actually enjoy myself. The Wonderland Exhibit at Te Papa has the subheading of “Curiously Immersive Alice”. While for adults the comprehensive and detailed look at the background and development of the classic and beloved tale of Alice in Wonderland is the main focus, for those who also hold the badge of ‘parent’, immersion is the main draw. There are doors and drawers and mirrors, maps with magic codes and secret hidden symbols. In the very first room, as you step from the entry way, you can choose a normal sized door or a hip height hole in the wall. I’m sure you can guess which one my 2 year old opted for. You navigate through the exhibit by following the narrative of the classic story, and experience all different versions of the story as you go, from the first illustrations and film right through Disney to the Tim Burton reimagining. Comparing illustrations and interpretations across the ages, and finding little hidden symbols that unlock extra tidbits on your map is enough to keep older children and adults engaged and interested, and feel like you’re getting something for the price of admission.
The two main interactive areas are the Queen’s Croquet Garden and the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. In the Croquet Garden you can create your own playing card design with stickers of original illustrations and take a photo of yourself to create a unique card soldier which is projected alongside all the others for the session up on an enormous display, where they run around painting the roses red. The cutting out phase was a bit beyond my toddler, but she was a whiz at helping me stick the pictures down, and while it took a bit of persuading to get her to take her photo for the soldier, she and the six or seven other children present absolutely revelled in chasing their likenesses up and down the length of the display as they dashed about on the wall. The Tea Party is a marvel of immersive digital art – a white room with white table and tea setting that comes alive through projected colour and animation. My two year old exclaimed several times about how there were “so many colours”, and everyone in the room was captivated by the detail and sophistication of the display. It was a very well timed show, too – at 4 minutes long it remained well within the abilities of even the youngest attendees to pay attention and not touch any of the perfectly positioned props. Nothing in the exhibit is stagnant or sombre. Not only would that be totally out of place for a celebration of the wonderful absurdity of Wonderland, but the exhibit has clearly been designed with younger
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attendees in mind just as much as their adult coexplorers. Much of the exhibit is set at lower heights and is easily accessible to children, the interactive areas are bright and colourful, and the spaces are clear enough to get a pram though easily (whether your toddler is restrained in it or it’s just holding your handbag). The whole experience also invites an acceptance of the younger attendees into a space that is normally not ‘for them’. My daughter was not the only young child there, running just a little wild past copies of original illustrations and screens playing clips of the Alices of the past, climbing into the shrunken house, drawing an adult’s attention rather loudly to things they thought were amazing, and pushing in among bigger bodies to interact with the displays. In the Croquet Garden there were unrelated adults happily watching the children squeal and dart around to chase themselves or someone they knew on the screens. A toddler’s comments on the Wonder of the Tea Party were met
only with smiles and agreement. In spaces where art and history are displayed to the public, there is often very little space carved out to ensure that children, especially very young ones, are tolerated, let alone welcomed as equal observers and participants. While inside the Wonderland exhibit, we felt that all members of our group were being actively invited to take part in the experience – not just the ones who wanted to read every little plaque and sit quietly in front of the film screens, but also the ones who wanted very much to sit on the giant chairs and chase card soldiers up and down a garden. Wonderland runs from 7 December 2019 to 8 March 2019 Adults $22.95 | 3-15 years - $11.95 | Under 3 - Free
Sally Wolfenden
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CRAFT
CRAF T: SENSORY SHAKER BOT TLES What you’ll need: • 1 Empty plastic bottle • Rattle items: 1/4 cup of uncooked rice lentils or beans Wooden beads Paper clips Plastic dice • Assorted coloured ribbons. • Screw driver. • Optional: sequins, felt shapes, colourful pom-poms • Hot Glue or non-toxic Craft Glue. • Optional: Water and food colouring for a water sensory bottle.
As part of the Kind Hearts Movement
d n i K ea ts H
has bestowed a random act of kindness upon
Faith Palevich You will each receive a free coffee voucher! Don’t forget to pay it forward! Streetwise Coffee Cart, Rangitikei Street, Palmerston North
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Hire a Tens Machine Hire a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine to help reduce your pain during labour and childbirth. Palmerston North Parents Centre (PNPC) has five TENS machines available for hire by our members for ONLY $20 for up to four weeks’ hireage (plus a $40.00 refundable bond). Machines can be booked for the two weeks prior to your due date until two weeks post due date. Watch a video interview with a TENS machine expert at youtube.com/ watch?v=4gUEtYAqPw8 Book your TENS Machine from: Junior Kids Store, 23 Broadway Ave, Ph 06 354 5516, info@juniorkidsstore.co.nz, Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm › Sat 9.30am - 4pm. Please pay by cash and bring your PNPC Membership card. Full terms and conditions on our Facebook page: facebook.com/PNorthPC
Instructions: 1. Take the bottle and wash thoroughly, allow it to dry. 2. Once it is dry add the “rattle” items. Test by shaking and see what noise it makes, if you don’t like the noise add more items, keep testing until you are satisfied with the sound. 3. Poke a small hole in the lid with a screwdriver (not too big). Thread your ribbons through and tie a knot in the ribbons on the inside of the lid. You can glue the ribbons on the underside of the lid, so it doesn’t pull out.
4. Add glue to the inside rim of the lid and then screw it on and allow it to set. This is so it won’t come off (please check regularly to ensure lid is secure) 5. You now have your shaker ready for your baby to make all kinds of discoveries with music. You can make a huge amount of these, and the ones with water are great for exploring all kinds of themes: try blue water and sand, shells for a beach theme or bright coloured water with bright coloured items in, so your baby can roll it and move it back and forth. Enjoy. ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUPS Across Te Kotahitanga O Te Wairua We can provide a range of social services which include: Counselling, Family support (including respite care for children), Parenting advice/information and programmes, Advice on other services available for parents and families. Contact: Graeme on (06) 356 7486 or visit www.across.org.nz Allergy New Zealand Support groups are a great way to meet others in a similar situation to you. They are very relaxed, informal sessions to share ideas, discuss your concerns, and get information and resources. Our regional support group is there to help put you in contact with others, to provide you with information such as those all important recipes, and to listen when you need someone to talk to. They are not medically qualified but can refer your queries on and seek information on your behalf. For further information phone 0800 34 0800 or visit www.allergy.org.nz Babywearers Manawatu This is a great way to try different carriers while finding a carrier that suits you and your baby. Babywearers Manawatu Sling Library is on most Wednesdays 12 pm - 1 pm (check FB for up to date info) at Palmerston North Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave Street, Palmerston North. Membership is one off payment of $10 and carrier hire costs $5 for one week.https://www.facebook.com/groups/ babywearersmanawatu/ Brain Injury Association Central Districts We provide advocacy information and support for people with brain injury, their families, whanau and carers. For more information call (06) 354 3540. Breastfeeding Help An IBCLC (often called lactation consultant) is a breastfeeding specialist qualified to prevent, recognise, and resolve breastfeeding problems. All members of NZCLA hold the professional qualification of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Any mother, family member or health professional interested in obtaining the contact details of an IBCLC can phone 0800 4 LACTATION (0800 452 282) during daytime hours. HOPE An opportunity for parents of premature babies to meet and chat and to offer hope and support to those who currently have babies in the Neo-Natal Unit. Graduates welcome. Held at: Plunket Family Centre, 42 Albert Street, Palmerston North. Monday 1pm – 2.30pm. Contact: Karlyn Sullivan-Jones (06) 353 0663 or karlynandmark@xnet.co.nz Itchy Kids A national support group for parents and whanau who care for children with eczema and allergies. For more information contact Sarah Hartley 027 333 7385 or email hartleyfamilynz@gmail.com or visit itchykids.org.nz Manawatu Toy Library Now located at 200 Church Street, Palmerston North, this fabulous toy library has a collection of over 2000 toys. Our members include families, carers, and educational groups. We have toys suitable for babies 5+ months through to school age children. Membership costs $95 per annum or $60 for six months. You are welcome to visit to see what we offer. To find out more, including opening hours: manawatutoylibrary.nz, or call 027 364 6911. Manawatu Down Syndrome Association Regional contact is Andrea Wales (06) 356 1767. Manawatu Home Birth Association Offering information, advice and support to women and their families seeking to birth their babies at home. Birth pools and other equipment available for hire. Library, sibling kits, and bimonthly
newsletters also available. Call (06) 356 BABY (06 356 2229) for more information. Manline Manline services are unique in that we are the only “men helping men” organisation in the Manawatu and Tararua region offering services for men to explore issues within their lives. Our programs are designed to be educational, developmental, rehabilitative, and preventative. http://www.manline.co.nz/home or 06 358 1211 Miscarriage Support Miscarriage can be a very lonely experience and is often not talked about. Miscarriage support groups have produced quality information and pamphlets for women/couples who may need information and support. These invaluable resources can be downloaded from miscarriage.org.nz Methodist Social Services Offering free programmes for primary/intermediate aged children and their parents/caregivers, around the areas of anger management, grief loss and change, and confidence building. We also offer family, couple, and individual counselling, and have both male and female counsellors available. Advocacy and social work support services are provided along with an emergency food service. For all enquiries, please call 06 350 0307, 663 Main Street, Palmerston North. Palmerston North Breastfeeding support group We provide a relaxed place to come and ask questions about breastfeeding and parenting , we hold regular meeting on the first Monday of the month at Palmy Parents Centre, Ruahine St, 10am. We have a library with a wide range of books relating to breastfeeding and parenting. http://www.lalecheleague. org.nz/palmerston-north or https://www.facebook.com/ PNbreastfeedingsupport/ Parent to Parent Supporting families of children with a special need, health impairment, or disability. For more information please phone (06) 355 0787or email manawatu@parent2parent.org.nz Parentline 24 Hour Crisis Line. Offering help and support for parents 24 hours a day. Phone 0800 4 FAMILY. Plunket Education Services For parent education classes please contact the Plunket family centre in Albert Street, Palmerston North, (06) 356 7248 for more information regarding classes in 2016. Reflux Support Contact: Sharon 354 7280 Sands A voluntary group who have lost babies before, during or after birth. They can provide first hand support, guidance, and information on miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn death. Further information and support can be found by contacting Shaun and Gaylene Vivian (06) 356 9715 or visiting sands.org.nz Supergrans Manawatu Charitable Trust Supergrans Manawatu is all about helping people help themselves. A service to all to brush up on the basic skills needed to provide for oneself or for a family. Our motto is not a ‘do it for you today’ it is a ‘help you to do it tomorrow’ concept. This is a free service. It is concerned with encouraging better skills in those everyday tasks around the home that sustain life. We work with you in your own home. Phone (06) 354 3804 or 021 0669 442 for further information.
32 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
MEMBER DISCOUNTS
10% OFF
FREE! Address labels with any birth announcement, thank you cards until 30/12/18
Coleman Mall, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 1976
GRANT IRVINE PHARMACY
10% OFF
Ground Floor, TSB Building 12-19, Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North
168 Albert Street, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 8782
10% off for all massages over $40 to PC members
Want to see your advert here? Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com
FREE TEA OR COFFEE
06 358 8549
Receive a free tea or coffee with the purchase of food. 95 the Square, Palmerston North
HAIR TRANSFORMER
15% OFF Discounted, low ratio childcare – For 30 hours WAIVED weekly admin & placement fees
TV aerial/satellite installer
10% OFF All current PNPC members receive 10% off labour only Call Now for a FREE Quote Robert Torok Ph: 06 354 5664 or 027 294 3972
Link Arcade, Broadway Avenue Palmerston North Ph: 06 358 1309
$10 OFF All current PNPC members receive $10 off, offer cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Sharlene Adkins (t) 06 355 4939 (e) sharlene@smallp.com (m) 021 185 2064. www.smallp.com
ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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PLAYGROUPS IN YOUR AREA Plunket Family Centre Playgroup
ASHHURST
Ashhurst Playcentre
AWAPUNI/WESTEND Kingston St Chapel
CENTRAL
42 Albert Street
021-808-340
Mondays & Fridays 10am to 12noon
118 Standford Street
326 9270
Mon to Thurs 9am - 12pm
Kingston St
358 0716
Tues & Thurs 9am- 11:30am
Crossroads Early Childhood Salvation Army Rudolf Steiner Seventh Day Adventist Church Playgroup with Hope
220 Church St 358 0669 cnr Church & Princess Sts 358 7455 187 Ruahine St 354 4514 257 Ferguson St 282 Cuba Street (opposite Briscoes) Contact: Heather 027 334 9981
Mon to Fri 9am to 12noon Thurs 9:30am to 11am Tues 9:30am - 12noon & Thu 2pm -3:30pm Wed 9:30 to 11:00am Tuesday 9.30-11.30am playgroup@hopevineyard.nz
FEILDING Feilding Playcentre Community Fielding Playcentre Doodlebugs SPACE Bright Sparks Preschool Programme
254A Kimbolton Rd 42 North St Knox Hall, North St 22 Bowen St Feilding Library
323 6100 323 1918 323 7240 323 7221 323 5373
Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Thurs 9am to 11:30am Contact for more details Wed 10:30am to 11:30am
12-32 Brentwood Ave
358 2255
Fri 8:30am to 12noon
339 Albert St Huia St extn
357 9411 357 0791
Wed 9:30am to 10:30am Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri 9am - 12noon
HIGHBURY
Te Aroha Noa Community Services
HOKOWHITU
St Albans Church Park Road Playcentre
LINTON
Linton Playgroup
MILSON
Milson Playcentre
OPIKI
Opiki Playgroup
ROSLYN/KELVIN GROVE
Kelvin Grove Salvation Army Church on Vogel Plunket Roslyn Over 1’s Coffee Group
Linton Camp (Community Centre) 3519970
Mon & Wed 9am to 11:30am
1a Seaforth Ave
Mon, Wed & Fri 9am-12noon
356 9824
St Andrews Church, Main Road
Tues 10am to 12noon
99-103 Kaimanawa St 127 Vogel St 177 Vogel Street
Wed 9:30am to 11:30am Wed 9:30am to 12noon Wednesdays 9.30am to 11am
353 0917 357 7336 021-808-340
RONGOTEA
Te Kawau Playcentre Medway St 324 8246
SANSON
Sanson Playcentre
TERRACE END
St David‘s Presbyterian Church Terrace End Playcentre
Mon to Thurs 9:15am to 12:15pm, Fri 11:45am to 2:45pm
2 Philipps St
329 3503
Tues and Fri 9am to 12noon
Cnr Main & Rainforth 77 Ruamahanga Cres
358 3246 0221400610
Tues 10:00am to 11:30am Wed, Thu, Fri 9.30am to 12.30 school term
SPECIALIST GROUPS
La Leche League 355 3104 Manawatu Multiple Birth Club Kingston St Church 357 9773 Parent 2 Parent Special Needs Matipo St 355 0787 ABCD early intervention group 9 Woburn Place 0800 693 724 - Down Syndrome French for Preschoolers 1st floor, 47 the Square 021 207 0114 Spanish Class – 2 yrs and up 355 8257 Plunket Bhutanese Playgroup 25 Franklin Ave 3574844 Book Bubs baby book club PN Library
34 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
Contact for more details Every 2nd Wed,10am 1st and 3rd Tues each month, 1-3pm Once a month on Thurs 10am to 12noon Fri 3.30pm to 4.30pm Contact for further details Mon 12.30 – 2.30pm Thursday 10.30 – 11 am fortnightly.
ISSUE 293 . January | March 2020
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Parent CENTRE IN-STORE & ONLINE
Day