PALMY PARENT PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
April / May . 2020
RESOURCES FOR A SECOND CHILD
WHATS ON ONLINE AND ZOOM HOT TOPICS SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY
s
Mu
classes,
ent
ic
M & ovem
ON NOW! Sing, Dance and have fun encourage purposeful movement in a fun and creative way. Busy Bees (18 months+) 9:30am Sparkly Stars (8 months+) 10:30am Cuddly Caterpillars (0-8 months) 11:30am. Term and Casual Rates available. For more info go to: www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz
EDITOR’S NOTE This issue we talk about siblings! Resourc e s f o r coping with a new baby, ideas on managing s i b l i ng rivalry, and a review of a baby carrier are a few o f t he offerings enclosed. We also have info on Palm e r s t o n North Kangatraining and the Nappy Godm ot he r service. We’ve mostly avoided direct talk of the ele p ha nt in the room, Covid-19, but you will notice so m e of our regular sections based on getting out and a b o u t have changed slightly, such as the “Family Fr i e nd l y Inni ng” and “What’s Online” sections. There ’ s a l s o dates and times for the online Hot Topic par e nt i ng seminars available to help people parent thr o u gh level 4 and beyond. Definitely worth a look! I ho pe this issue finds you all safe and well.
Jessica Mollie Ensing Editor
ADVERTISE IN PALMY PARENT Palmerston North Parents Centre has a circulation of over 250 magazines per issue. These are sent to all current members as well as Plunket, midwives and other community groups. Our rates are extremely competitive and we would love your support by way of an advertisement. Also, in addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six adverts per annum. For more information contact our Business Relations Officer by email at: palmyparent@hotmail.com One-off price
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In addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six half or full-page adverts per annum ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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CONTENTS FEATURES The power of self-forgiveness
11
Siblings without Rivalry
13
Resources for a second child
16
IN EVERY ISSUE Editor’s note
3
PNPC Seminars & Events
6
What’s on ... ONLINE
7
Book Review
10
Welcome to the World
11
Birth Story: My Thoughts About Birth
18
Family Friendly Inning Kanga Training Palmerston North
20
Dad’s Life: Early Fatherhood
22
Nappy Godmother
24
Product Review: Beco Eight
26
Recipe: Tim Tam Truffles
28
Craft: Painted Pots
30
Community support groups
32
Member discounts
33
Playgroups in your area
34
GOT SOMETHING TO SHARE?
CHECK OUT OUR WINNERS Bruce McKenzie Book Giveaway
10
The Hair Company styling treatment
19
Kind Hearts, Streetwise Coffee
30
Cottage Flowers Arrangement
31
CONTRIBUTORS Laura Wenden-Green, Sarah Taylor, Bawani MK, Helene Stock, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, Jessica Ensing, Saritta Burney, Tamara Milldove, Desiree Harvey.
Front cover: Isla, photo by: Tamara, Milldove Photography via Pop-ins
4 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
Want to share some helpful advice or a great book you’ve read? Let us know and we’ll share it with our members. Or, if you would like to have your baby’s photos printed, write about your birth experience, review a book or a family friendly venue you have visited recently, we’d love to hear from you!
Email the Editor at: palmyparenteditor@gmail.com
COMMITTEE NEWS We are now in full swing of the New Year, everything has started back including Music, Seminars, Responsive Parenting and Baby and You. You may have seen from our Facebook page (if you don’t follow it we recommend you do) that our Parking situation has now changed, our Landlords had heard about parking being an issue and so they have implemented a 60 minute parking limit to see if parking availability will improve. There is also now paid parking in the gravel car park at the rate of $1 for 4 hours, $2 for 8 hours and $3 for 12 hours; if you think you might use that make sure you download the app Park Mate as that’s the only way you can pay. The new parking situation is reviewable in 3 months so if you have any feedback please do let us know and we will pass it on at time of review. On the 14th of March we hosted Em from Raising Ziggy for “An Evening with Raising Ziggy”. It was an amazing turn out of mums old and new from Palmy, Wellington and Masterton too. I’m not sure I can sum up the night adequately but let’s just say there was plenty of talk of vaginas and lots of laughter, I definitely had sore tummy muscles from laughing by the end of it and I wasn’t the only one. We are so pleased to have been able to bring an event to Palmy with two such amazing women. So, a big thank you to Em for the amazing show, Amberly
Caldwell our MC and Comedian all rolled in to one who can be found at “Surfiveing. Tales Of A Bathroom Binge Eater” on Facebook and to our venue superstars at The Globe, Gerry and Jaye, who made the event a reality and helped it to flow seamlessly. The last thanks goes to the businesses who supported the event by donating prizes and giveaways in the lead up, Spoilt Beauty, Girls Go Glam, Prestige Platters, Kangatraining Palmerston North, Baby Yoga, Carvings Café, Halo Salt Rooms and Milldove Photography - Maternity, Birth and Newborn (who also generously provided the event photography). We have recently welcomed Sarah Taylor, Krystal Healey and Amy Bothwell to the Committee, we are so happy to have you and we know you will bring some great new ideas to the Committee. Last Month was Adele Kent’s last month on the Committee, she has been with us for two years and in that time she has overhauled the postnatal seminars. We are all super sad to see her go – so thank you Adele, we will miss you a lot !!!!! We are currently recruiting for more volunteers on Facebook, if you are interested please send us an email on info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz Saritta and The Palmy Parents Centre Team
Mission statement Positive birth experiences and informed parenting in a community where parents are supported and highly valued in their role.
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Disclaimer: Opinions and articles in this magazine do not necessarily reflect Parents Centre NZ policy. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centre. ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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PNPC
SEMINARS & EVENTS APRIL & MAY Please note that all in-person seminars are subject to alert level. HOT TOPIC- OUCH THAT HURTS Venue: Palmerston North Parents Centre Saturday 2 May, 7.30pm Why kids (including siblings) hit, bite, push and use hurting words when they know it’s not ok. Brain based strategies to help kids manage their emotions without lashing out. Cost: $10 PNPC members, $15 non-members INTRODUCTORY WATER SKILLS FOR INFANTS Venue: Freyberg Community Pool
Session Two: Saturday 11th April “Why kids misbehave” This session will focus on why kids behave in challenging ways and discuss some strategies to help them (and us) navigate this crazy world of ours, with time at the end of questions and discussion. Session Three: Saturday 18th April “Connection through play” This session will focus on how connection helps our children co-operate and tips on using play to help with children’s fears, big feelings and other challenges.
Friday 22 May, 1030am & 11am
Session Four: Saturday 25th April “Keep calm and parent”
Introduce your child to water in this “taster” swimming class. For babies and toddlers aged 5 months to 3 years old. Approximately 30 minutes duration.
This session will focus on keeping ourselves calm enough to parent in a respectful and responsive way, with time at the end for questions and discussion.
Cost: Free; this session is kindly provided by CLM Swim Magic.
LIVE HOT TOPIC SESSIONS VIA ZOOM
When: Saturdays, 7:30-9pm
Parenting can be hard at the best of times without all of the added challenges we are currently faced with! Join parenting mentor Tabitha Jonson to learn some practical skills and tips for a calmer and more peaceful household while we navigate these new times. Session One: Saturday 4th April “ P a r e n t i n g through lockdown/Q&A” This session will focus on parenting during the “lockdown” with some helpful strategies for parents with plenty of time for questions and discussion. 6 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
To register please see our website: http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ All seminars and events can be found in our calendar on the website. For any queries please email: info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz
WHAT’S ON . . .
online
FACEBOOK LIVE WILD LIFE SYDNEY ZOO https://www.facebook.com/wildlifesydney/ Get up close with our animals from the comfort of your own home and discover more about WILD LIFE Sydney Zoo by watching our live streams. See our mammoth Saltwater Crocodile Rocky eat his favourite snack, watch our Quokka get some cuddles and so much more! Stay tuned to our social channels for weekly schedules.
CHILDREN AT PN CITY LIBRARY https://www.facebook.com/ ChildrenatPNCityLibrary Our lovely Helen from Palmerston North City Library is running Jumping Jellybeans on Wednesdays and Baby Bop on Thursdays live through their Facebook page, along with other bonuses, keep an eye on their Facebook page to see whats coming up.
ROYAL NEW ZEALAND BALLET https://www.facebook.com/nzballet/ This weekend the Royal New Zealand Ballet brings Cinderella to your living room! Dazzling against the light and dark of Prokofiev’s powerful score, this beautiful interpretation of the timeless rags to riches romance is not to be missed. Choreographed by Christopher Hampson and with sumptuous costumes and sets by acclaimed New Zealand designer Tracy Grant Lord, you won’t help but be drawn into a glittering fantasy world. Friday 17 April at 7.30pm; Saturday 18 April at 1.30pm Sunday 19 April at 10.30am (NZDT) For full details visit rnzb.org.nz/live
ONLINE MERLIN’S EDUCATION TOOLBOX https://www.merlinannualpass.com.au/ educationtoolbox/educational-worksheets Whether you’re a teacher looking for lesson content, a parent looking for home school resources or just need some fun activities to fill 10 minutes, we’re here to provide you with plenty of inspiration. The unique resources in this online hub are all inspired by the magic created in the Merlin Entertainments attractions. You’ll find educational videos, activity worksheets, curriculum-based projects, craft ideas and more!
COSMIC KIDS YOGA https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_ continue=2&v=0ImHIWzP49M Yoga, mindfulness and relaxation designed specially for kids aged 3+, used in schools and homes all over the world. Some free videos available on YouTube, Cosmic Kids app subscription also available.
NASA ACTIVITIES ONLINE https://spaceplace.nasa.gov/build-a-spacecraft/ en/ NASA has launched its “NASA At Home” website, full of educational content geared to keep children engaged with science as most schools nationwide are closed to prevent the spread of COVID-19.
THE WORLD OF DAVID WILLIAMS https://www.worldofdavidwalliams.com/ activities/?fbclid=IwAR3ySC6s35-1943QhIlrV36ib4rhAd6p4MuXCLu7QSMaRiYLDQzjEQubk If you’re looking for some exciting activities to keep boredom at bay, then you’ve definitely come to the right place! Check out this website for a treasure trove of fantastic activities, all inspired by David Walliams’ tremendous tales. Filled with all the wacky and wonderful characters in David Walliams’ books, you can download any of these free activity sheets for hours of fun and learning at home! ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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MEMBERS’ OFFERS: Free barista hot drink or pair of grips socks when you present your membership card at a coffee and kids morning on Mon to Thur 10-12. For Children under 6, $7 per child (Parents get free entry)
Visit our facebook page @ fantailsnestnz and receive free shipping using the code: PALMYFLYSFREE
www.thesleepstore.co.nz
20%OFF
Enter the coupon code PARENTS20 at the checkout to SAVE on selected items at The Sleep Store To see which items you can apply the discount to visit www.thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre Visit www.thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre for further details & exclusions on this offer. Coupon applies to selected items listed on this webpage, Offer cannot be used with coupons, vouchers, discounts, 2-pack offers or combo deals. Cannot be used on shipping fee or other brand items, gift cards or in conjunction with any other offer or discount. The Sleep Store reserves the right to update or amend this offer at any time.
Pay no booking fee when enrolling with Puddleducks if parents centre member ($50 saving)
Unique Beginnings with Rebecca Robinson
Birth preparation & beyond, Lactation Consultant support
www.uniquebeginnings.co.nz
5% OFF all services
ph: 021 066 0394
10% off all full priced Items (must show membership card)
117 Ruahine St, Palmerston North | 06-280 3370
Halo Salt Rooms 10% off Full priced Adult and Private Salt Rooms. 117-119 Ruahine Street, Palmerston North 06 280 4220 | info@halosaltrooms.co.nz
8 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
WELCOME TO THE WORLD
WELCOME TO THE WORLD Welcome to all the new babies born to our wonderful Parent Centre members! If there are any corrections to the list below, please email palmyparenteditor@gmail.com
Class: Due February | Hostess: Rhianne Fee | CBE: Jess White
Ryan Jacob Storey
Jacob Laurie Cracroft Ferguson
born to
born to
Nina Kibby & Justin Storey
Tracey & Robert Ferguson
22 January 2020
30 January 2020
Karsyn Rose Crombie
Ryan Bradley Taylor
born to
born to
Gemma Taylor & Ernie Crombie
Maria & Shahn Taylor
7 February 2020
16 February 2020
Scarlett Rose McCarron
Emilia Joy Passey
born to
born to
Nick & Katey McCarron
Abbie Yanko & Tyler Passey
20 February 2020
22 February 2020
Isabella Rossa Whittington
Annalena Belle Ripberger
born to
born to
Jared & Adriana Whittington
Amber & Georg Ripberger
7 March 2020
15 March 2020
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
9
BOOK REVIEW
THE DINKY DONKEY Story by Craig Smith, Illustrations by Katz Cowley Reviewed by Desiree Harvey Available from Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George St for $19.99 – Hardcover
The Wonky Donkey had a child, and it was a little girl – Hee Haw!!! She was so cute and small. She was a Dinky Donkey! This is the sequel to the world-famous ‘The Wonky Donkey’, with another hilarious and fun rhyming story the kids will love. Each page brings another rhyme that builds upon on the previous page, which the kids can follow and chant alongside you. The brightly colourful and cute pictures make this sure to be a new go-to night-time story favourite for all the family.
I V G E A K WAY O O B Be in to win this issue’s reviewed book!
Just follow these 3 easy steps!
1
To enter the draw to win this issue’s book, email your name, with ‘Book Giveaway’ in the subject line to info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz
2
15 th May 2020 That’s
all!
The winner’s name will be printed in the next issue of the Palmy Parent and the winner can collect their book from the Palmy Parent Centre.
ratu Cong lation Nina Kibby
: s to
3
Entries for the next draw must be received by
who has won a copy of ‘Cleo & Rob’
10 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
The children’s book reviewed above has been generously donated by Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North to give away to a lucky Parents Centre Member. Bruce McKenzie’s Booksellers is situated in George Street beside the entrance to the Palmerston North Library. Bruce McKenzie’s carries an enormous range of books from children’s to specialist non-fiction and is definitely worth a visit. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask the staff who are always willing to help.
and why it is important for your parenting.
Posted on June 17, 2019
by Sarah Ockwell-Smith
“I told the voice inside my head, that I could only become a better woman if woman if she spoke kinder to me” Self respect Yakari Gabriel I came across this quote recently and it really spoke to me. Of course, this isn’t only true for women, but men too. I think it’s highly applicable to parenting.
Sometimes I think we’re our own worst enemies when it comes to parenting. Yes, it is wonderful when we set the bar high and aim to be the very best parent we can be, but it can also be incredibly damaging. I come across far too many parents who confess their guilt to me. They worry that they make too many mistakes, yell too much, don’t find joy in every moment, wish the days and nights away, regret having children, utilise screens too much, don’t play enough, didn’t breastfeed long enough, don’t feed their children totally wholesome food and so on….you name it, I’ve heard a related guilt confession. In fact I’ve never come across a group of people who are harder on themselves than those practising gentle parenting. Continues Page 12
PARENT CENTRE PARTNERS:
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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PARENTING
THE POWER OF SELF-FORGIVENESS –
The power of self-forgiveness Continued Yes, introspection and awareness of our flaws is a really important part of gentle parenting, but too many people let it get in the way, because they treat themselves so poorly. The irony that gentle parenting highlights children should be treated fairly, with empathy and respect is not lost on me when I think about how heavy some parents are on themselves.
you’re learning, you are doing your best and that you can – and will – be better with practice and a little self-directed empathy. Cut yourself a break, try to direct some of the nurturing you are constantly aiming at your children at yourself instead. If you’re an affirmations type of person, try repeating some of these to yourself when you feel most in need: “I am still learning and I am doing the best I can”
I have made parenting choices that I am not proud of now and I would not make again if I knew then what I know now. I’ve also slipped up, many times, ‘in the moment’ and said and done things I regret. Everyone has, but I welcome my guilt, for it teaches me to be a better parent. When we know better we do better. Life is about living in the now, parenting is about living in the now, not dwelling on what happened yesterday. If you don’t feel you have enough patience today, that’s OK, because tomorrow is a new day and everybody can change!
“I am a great mum/dad”
If you’re up for it, I’d like you to try something. For the next 7 days I’d like you to pay close attention to your thoughts. Every time you catch yourself feeling negative about your traits and parenting related qualities, I’d like you to stop and correct yourself. Remind yourself that
“All parents have bad days, some just hide them better than others”
“I can do this” “Today is a new day, what happened yesterday is in the past, it’s time to move on” “I am good enough as I am” “Perfect doesn’t exist, real does” “Today I will be kind to myself” “It’s OK if I don’t know all the answers” “We are learning together”
“It’s OK to focus on my own emotional wellbeing”
By Sarah Ockwell-Smith
The Koru Study SEEKING PREGNANT WOMEN to take part in a study measuring body composition changes during pregnancy & early infancy If you are in your FIRST TRIMESTER of pregnancy we would love to hear from you
For more information visit: www.thekorustudy.com If you are interested in joining this study, please contact Ciara Phone: (06) 951 6366 Text: (021) 1 605 805 Email: thekorustudy@massey.ac.nz This project has been reviewed and approved by the Health & Disability Ethics Committee: 19/CEN/47
12 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
FEATURE
SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY by Bawani MK. Why can’t they just get along?!! Let’s face it – no matter how nicely your kids are playing one minute, the next minute you hear “Mine!”.. “No, mine!” “He punched me!”... “I had it first!” “Why is he sleeping with you?!” You hear these most of the time if you have more than one child, and the chances are that you’ve had to referee sibling fighting and rivalry. Siblings Rivalry – disagreement between brothers and sisters. Child behaviour experts and sibling researchers have said sibling rivalry can include; fighting, hitting, teasing, jealousy, competition, insecure attachment with parents and more. However, siblings don’t just fight! Can we raise siblings without rivalry? No, but there are tools or tactics that you can follow to minimise rivalry. For a start, we need to understand that every human being is an individual with unique needs and personalities. It’s also important to realise children naturally learn and grow through their relationships with siblings. ‘The relationship is about so much more than rivalry’ observes Professor Judy Dunn, who has spent much of her career tracking how sibling relationships develop. “All the stuff we’ve learned from observing siblings has been important in changing our understanding of child development. It’s a relationship where you learn so much about other people, and develop key skills in knowing both how to irritate and to comfort. A sibling knows very well what upsets another child and that can work for good or evil. Even by the age of two, a sibling can make the connection between what another child finds upsetting.” says Dunn.
Over the years I have outgrown this. As teenagers my brother and I shared music, food and a few interesting adventures. Many of the occasions in my life when I’ve laughed until I cried have been with my brother. Today, my brother and I are best friends. Though we are 9000 kilometers apart, we still make a point to ring each other every day. Life with siblings can be tremendous fun, and a great recipe for mischief-making. There are many positive ways that parents can follow to have peaceful parenting. Hopefully, with these strategies,eventually your kids’ relationship will develop into a close one. Having read and loved “Siblings without rivalry” and “How to help your kids get on”, I wanted to summarise the ideas of Adele Faber, Flaine Mazlish and Sacha Baveystock for parents like us to help our children live together so you can live with them. After all, if the siblings are happy, Mama is happy! Firstly, we need to understand why sibling rivalry may occur. Each child may be set off by something different. For example; deciding on what TV show or movie to watch. In some cases, the issue could be personalities, for instance; a child may feel like a mom or dad favours his/ her sibling. Below is the list of possible causes in sibling rivalry, which you can be aware of to help avoid the scenarios in your family.
I have a confession here. I was an absolute terrible sister to my brother who was 5 years younger than me. Being the eldest, I always wanted the attention from my parents because that’s what I had for the first 5 years of my life before my brother arrived. I wasn’t ready to share the attention that I got from my parents, or to share my belongings with my brother.
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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PARENTING
Some possible causes of sibling rivalry • Birth order • Getting unequal attention and responsiveness from parents • Feeling threatened by a new sibling • Bored, hungry, tired • Competition between children • Unequal turns with toys • Busy parents can reduce the amount of time and attention given to their children. • Ages and age gaps • Parenting style and family ambiance
The secret for preventing sibling rivalry We can’t stop sibling rivalry completely but we certainly can take measures to reduce its frequency. Less yelling and more peace in your home! You will find many suggestions to prevent sibling rivalry in your home. Child behaviour experts and sibling researchers have stated many ways that you can prevent siblings’ rivalry at home. However, I have narrowed this advice down to 8 simple ways that you can apply to reduce or prevent sibling rivalry scenes.
1) Teach kids how to handle conflict in a positive manner Children who manage disagreement with their siblings in a constructive manner will be in a much better frame of mind to settle disputes and move past fighting. In addition to this, children who
learn to prevent and work out conflicts with their siblings will be better at negotiating and working out compromises in future relationships. Children who learn to handle disputes between their siblings will grow into adults who are skilled at resolving differences and managing relationships with others.
2) Always listen to each side. In a sibling fight there will always be two sides of the story. Always let the child feel like he or she is being listened to without judgement or interruption. Generally, children will feel better after venting without interruption to their mum or dad. It gives them the assurance that their problems are being heard fairly.
3) I should praise you It might seem obvious, but children respond far better to praise than they do to criticism. Praising helps to boost their confidence and motivate them to earn more praise. The more positive attention you’re paying children, the less inclined they will be to play up; and if they feel positive about themselves, it might help them feel more upbeat about siblings too.
4) Cast sibling harmony as important for the whole family Children should understand that the family is a team. Explain to them what a team is, and why we need to work together to keep the family loving and create
Hire a Tens Machine Hire a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine to help reduce your pain during labour and childbirth. Palmerston North Parents Centre (PNPC) has five TENS machines available for hire by our members for ONLY $20 for up to four weeks’ hireage (plus a $40.00 refundable bond). Machines can be booked for the two weeks prior to your due date until two weeks post due date. Watch a video interview with a TENS machine expert at youtube.com/ watch?v=4gUEtYAqPw8 Book your TENS Machine from: Junior Kids Store, 23 Broadway Ave, Ph 06 354 5516, info@juniorkidsstore.co.nz, Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm › Sat 9.30am - 4pm. Please pay by cash and bring your PNPC Membership card. Full terms and conditions on our Facebook page: facebook.com/PNorthPC
14 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
a peaceful home. They need to know that any fights among family can hurt the whole team.
5) Lose the labels We live in a society where categorising things or people is the norm. But when it comes to our children we should avoid it, because this increases the competition between siblings. For example, when we talk about “the good eater”, “the creative one”, or“the messy one”, these create comparisons between our kids. When we avoid using labels, we also avoid the comparisons and value judgements that can come along with these.
6) Model good problem- solving behaviour. Children often need help in identifying their feelings and families that encourage listening and are open in talking about feelings will find it easier. When we are respectful and loving, and talk about our feelings and thoughts during a disagreement, our children will learn and adopt those conflict resolution skills themselves. It can be helpful to practice ‘reflective listening’ where you acknowledge what the child is feeling by reflecting it back.
7) Step in Most parents think that it’s best to let the kids handle conflict on their own. To some extent
Coffee and kids Parents play groups daycares
MOn to thur 9am - 10Am under 5S $7 per child & parents jump for FREe
it can be true, if the child has the right tools to handle the disagreement in a constructive and positive manner. However, if the argument gets heated or physical aggression is involved, parents should intervene. It’s good to sit down and explain to them that any kind of aggression is not acceptable in your home.
8) Do what works for your family
How you deal with sibling rivalry depends on what you think is best for your family. If what you are doing now isn’t working, it’s a good idea to try new methods. As parents our role is to make ourselves redundant. Always encourage kids to be resilient, resourceful and self-reliant as possible.
Final thoughts Be patient with your kids as they’re learning. Even if your children don’t get on now, it’s worth remembering that all is not lost, because if there’s one thing that’s true about raising kids, it’s that nothing stays the same. ‘What parents need to bear in mind is that as relationships develop there is a lot of continuity and a lot of change,’ says psychologist Professor Judy Dunn. Reference: Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine, Siblings Without Rivalry (WW Norton and Co., 1987) Sacha Baveystock, They Started it! (Pearson Education Limited, 2007) Goldenthal, Peter, Beyond Sibling Rivalry (Owl Books, 1999) Bank, Stephen P., and Michael D. Kahn. The Sibling Bond. (New York; Basic Books, 1982) Parker, Jan and Stimpson, Jan, Sibling Rivalry, Sibling Love (Hodder and Stoughton, 1992) Koch, HL, ‘The relation of certain formal attributes of siblings to attitudes held towards each other and towards their parents,’ Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development 25:4, 1960 Katherine Lee, ‘8 Ways to Effectively Manage Sibling Fighting and Rivalry’ Very well family, 2019 Amy McCready, ‘How to End Sibling Rivalry in 6 Simple Steps’ Positive parenting solutions, 2019
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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FEATURE
RESOURCES FOR A SECOND CHILD We have recently welcomed our second child, and while amazing it has also had some challenging moments. I’ve put together a list below of strategies and items we have found helpful for everyone as we get used to being a family of four.
FEEDING
BOX:
This one was recommended to me by everyone I know with two or more children. The idea is that you create a special box for the older child with toys or activities in it that they get to play with while the parent is feeding the baby. It only comes out during feeding and then goes away again so the novelty doesn’t wear off. This has been amazing for us - we used a box we had at home already and put some of our toddler’s hot wheels cars and a little track in it, some blocks and a
ball. Obviously, you can tailor it to your specific child’s interests and age, and we have found changing the toys in it every couple of weeks has worked well.
S I B L I N G P R E S E N T S: A gift given from the new baby to the older sibling and vice versa. I think this one depends on the age of the older sibling personally. I don’t think our toddler really understood that the baby was giving him a present, but he definitely enjoyed unwrapping
it and playing with it. He does seem to have made a connection with giving the baby her present (A soft toy) and when she is upset, he often goes and finds the toy to give to her.
I N D E P E N D E N T A C T I V I T I E S: We have found that having things for our toddler to do independently is amazingCrayola mess free coloring books are life changing if you are worried about your walls and furniture, a busy book although expensive can provide hours of fun, and stickers are also a fan favorite in our house. F R E S H A I R: While it isn’t always possible, going for a walk or even simply out to the backyard has been another great one for us. The toddler gets to
burn off some energy, I get some fresh air and sunshine, and baby is happy to sleep or watch from the pram or wrap. This leads me nicely into the biggest life saver for us which has been…
BABY
C A R R I E R:
My ultimate recommendation for everyone with a newborn and an older child! It has meant baby can be snuggled up with me, warm and happy but I still have my hands free to play with my toddler.
16 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
I N V O LV E M E N T: The other big strategy
we have employed has been involving our older child in as much as we can with the new baby. He will go and get nappies from the shelf for his sister, bring her a toy if she’s sad, and will even sit next to me and feed his baby while I am feeding her. We have found that when he can be involved with what we are doing he is a lot happier and calmer.
O N E O N O N E T I M E : We have also made a big effort to make sure our toddler is still getting one on one time with both of us when possible. If my husband is home then he will take baby and I will do bedtime with our toddler, and we have started having a special weekend date where one of us will go
out with just the toddler - it doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy, often it is just walking the dogs to the park but it does mean he is still getting some undivided attention without his little sister.
ACCEPT
AND
ASK
FOR
happy and make your life a whole lot easier.
H E L P:
Don’t be stubborn and don’t try to do everything! People genuinely want to help and having an extra pair of hands at bath time, or a meal ready to pull out of the freezer will help keep everyone
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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BIRTH STORY
MY THOUGHTS ABOUT BIRTH Your baby will come when it wants. Do every fad in the book or none at all, whatever floats your boat. Babies have no sense of time or convenience. Pack a spare pair of jeans and underwear in your car for if your waters break in town while you’re shopping. Stay in bed and have that sleep in as it may be your last. Enjoy those last moments of time management and routines. Hindsight is 20/20. You will always know when labour hits. On the lead up to your due date you’re over analysing every little niggle and change your body goes through. When you’re not sure if labour is starting and you keep thinking to yourself, ‘Am I in labour? How do I know if I am in labour? Is this labour???’ Well my friend, there is no way you can miss when it starts. There will be no doubt in your mind once those contractions hit, you’ll know. You’ll then look back and think, ‘oh how naïve I was.’ Labour and birth have their own game plan. Contractions then water breaking, water breaking then contractions. Having a show, not having a show. Coming with a hiss and a roar or taking the longest detour, on par with someone who’s lost and didn’t want to ask for directions. Thinking you’ll have a natural birth and requiring a C-section. Women have been giving birth for hundreds of years. Your body will naturally do what it needs to, when it needs to, to get your baby out to see you. So, sit back and let the contractions roll. Lastly, always remember to ask for pain relief if you want it! On the day in question, four days before my due date, my baby girl Kayla decided on the rare occasion of my partner making dinner that she wanted in on the action. Serving up tea in the kitchen at 8pm, I suddenly thought, ‘oh my god I’ve pissed myself.’
Embarrassed and confused I quickly went to the toilet to sort myself out. I thought myself to be an old lady and lost complete control of my bladder. However, after a moment of contemplation when the dribbling continued, I realised maybe my water had just broken. My partner came and knocked on the door asking, ‘What’s wrong?’. To which I replied, ‘Well I have either peed myself or my water has just broken.’ Even after all the antenatal classes and practical parenting his reply was still that of, ‘Oh heck, what do we do?’ Following my midwives’ instructions, I started the waiting game. Having had no contractions at this stage, my waters continued to break in drips and drabs. Though at 8:20pm I started to notice blood in my waters/discharge. I called my midwife to discuss this and she wanted me to send her photos. Of course, as fate would have it, my phone decided not to work. She wasn’t receiving any photos I was sending her, even though they were sent from my end. Finally, after resorting to emails, the photos went through, to which she was very happy for me to continue my time at home. At this stage I had had two very short, very soft, random contractions. Sit down and get your popcorn, the real fun of contractions came in with a right hook. At 9pm I hung up from my midwife, and started to get excited, my baby was on its way. Surely labour can’t be that bad… Boy was I in for a surprise. From ending the call with my midwife, my contractions started. Over a minute long and within three minutes of each other. I was head down bum up, laying over a bean bag. I tasked my partner with recording my contractions so I knew when I was able to call my midwife again. The next hour passed slower than an hour of cardio on a treadmill. At 10pm I rang my midwife and we were off to the birthing centre. On my hands and knees in the back seat, telling my partner to both speed up but slow down at the same time. The ride was horrible. Time check, arrival at birthing centre was 10:20pm. Having not put thought into how I was going to have this baby, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was winging it and going to do whatever was comfortable at the time. Turns out, I was stripping off and jumping in the bath before my partner was even in the door. I wanted to be weightless and floating. I forgot all about asking for gas and just expected someone to give it to me. Turns out I simply had to ask. When my midwife arrived at 10.30pm my first words to her were, ‘If I’m only 5cm dilated then I give up and give me a C-Section.’ Having a beautiful and
18 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
Congratulates
Jennifer Hamilton For winning a Treatment, Cut and Blowwave for being a current Palmerston North Patents Centre member Ph: 358 4010 | Hotel Coachman,134 Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North | thehaircompany.co.nz Open Mon - Sat, late nights Tues and Thur
amazing bond with my midwife she laughed and said, ‘Not on my watch, you’re fully dilated and we are having this baby.’ Now, by this stage I didn’t think things could get much worse. Intense pain, no control, just along for the ride as my body did its thing. Little did I know there was more to come. At 10:50pm I had the moment every pregnant person tells you about, the I’m going to poo myself moment. It felt like a bowling ball dropping in my pelvis, this baby was ready to go. Armed with my gas I started to push. I never realised it was a fear of mine until that moment, I was scared to tear. I would stop pushing and play yoyo with her head, pushing her so far and then clamping up again. Having had enough of this my midwife took my gas off me and told me to push properly. I could have screamed bloody murder. Wanting it all to end and that’s exactly what I did. I pushed and at 11:08pm I was surprised with a beautiful baby girl. I had a tear the size of my pinkie nail which didn’t at the time require suturing. Now this is where the story should end. Baby arrived all healthy and happy. A total of three hours in labour, two hours of contractions, 20 minutes of pushing. A birth most women would kill for. But my story doesn’t end there. Cue my biggest fear, haemorrhaging. At 3am I began to bleed with no intervention getting it under control. My partner had gone to get me food as I still hadn’t eaten, however the medication I was given made me feel very ill and like I was cramping my way through labour again. Having worked in health care I understood the nature of the situation and can honestly say, the management and care from the birthing centre during this time was incredible and without fault. The calm nature and care provided by a sole midwife deserves credit. I was efficiently transferred to the hospital to be managed. My midwife having gone home, returned and came in the ambulance, while my partner and
baby had to follow in the car. I must say despite everything the funniest and biggest I told you so moment took place. My partner, though asked to help with installing the car seat prior to baby, thought better of it. So when left to get the car seat out for our daughter by himself, he had no idea how to do it. 15 minutes later, after pulling and pushing every button and lever he could find, he finally figured it out, put her in and was on his way. At the hospital I was catheterised and had sutures to fix the tear and ensure that wasn’t the source of my bleed. I continued to bleed despite various medications and drips. I was told at 0600 that if I didn’t stop bleeding by 0800 that I would have to go to surgery due to the amount of blood loss. Having gone from the birthing centre to the hospital was a massive change in environment and emotional feel. No longer having a bed to share with my partner. A change in privacy and access to medical staff. To then go to surgery was not something I was looking forward to. However, luckily enough, my bleeding stopped by the time the morning doctors finally came to review me. Strong discussions with my midwife and the medical staff at the hospital resulted in discharge back into my midwife’s care by that afternoon. This was done with consideration of my nursing background, and strong recommendations to return if signs experiencing negative symptoms of blood loss. Overall, my birth was a minor ripple in the water compared to others. I had a little girl, who was beautiful and healthy and unaffected by the whole thing. I have utmost respect for my midwife, the ladies at the birthing centre, and the input from the hospital. One day when I’m crazy enough to do it all again, I hope I’m fortunate enough to have a similar experience, minus the haemorrhage.
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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HEALTH
FAMILY FRIENDLY INNING -
Kanga Training Palmerston Nor th What better way to stay fit, stay strong and stay inside than with an online babywearing exercise class? That’s right, Kangatraining has come to Palmerston North and they are offering online classes! Specifically designed to be a safe workout for postnatal people, Kanga can be enjoyed by the whole family. The hour long class gets you dancing and working out specific muscle groups, all while wearing your baby.
wearing your child in an ergonomic carrier, keeping them close and involved. It’s also a sure fire way to put the little ones to sleep! During Levels 3 and 4, Kanga will be available via Zoom. Please contact Ally at Kangatraining Palmerston North on Facebook to secure your spot today.
Kanga also focuses on strengthening and protecting pelvic floor muscles. The workout is suitable from 6 weeks post vaginal birth or 12 weeks post cesarean section, with clearance from your health professional. Most participants are mothers, but everyone is welcome to join, in fact Palmy Kanga has had a few dads join in already. A key aspect of Kangatraining is the babywearing. Most of the class is done while
20 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
21
DAD’S LIFE
EARLY FATHERHOOD By Kev Hurrell Many fathers whether it be for the 1st, 2nd or whatever time all go through something different. This is my 2nd time as a father with a spread of 12 years difference between my Son and Daughter.
change his nappy settle him and take him to his mum for feeding. Take him back, change if needed settle and back to bed. Over time he got so used to me doing this
My time as a father from 2004 with my son has been an experience unlike any other experience I’ve had before. There were always good and bad times but at the end of the day they all make up times that will never be forgotten. During my son’s first few months I said to myself “I am going to do as much as I can to help his mum out” and I did. I got up every time, all hours of the day and more importantly the night. All this I thought at the time was the best thing to do. I would
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that he wouldn’t settle for his mum, so this time I’ve had to stop myself doing this and I’ve found it worked. Our daughter settles for both of us and if one or the other cannot settle her we can hand her over knowing that the other can and she will settle. This is my main learning curve that I have taken from then to now. This time around was a little different, my
wife and I were trying for around 4 years to have a baby and with the funded rounds of IVF we were clinically pregnant 3 times but all 3 times never went past 5 weeks. We then funded it ourselves, we went through emotions that can never be fully understood by anyone unless they have been through it. We made some life changes with my wife making the most sacrifices with general life changes from stopping drinking alcohol and coffee, dietary changes, tests with many stabs and jabs, to acupuncture to name a few. The first round was a success and 9 months later we had our wee 5lb 15 perfect daughter. This made the last 4 years all worth it and now the new learning from “Parent Centre” kicked in.
to, wow, I should’ve never been doing that. Fleece looks good but not suitable for warmth and breathing, wipes and disposables nappies great for speed but bad on the pocket and environment, creams by just slapping it on but have too many chemicals that are not good for baby and warm water and flannels are a lot better and far cheaper. Adding clips and other items to the car seat to make it more secure but really stops it from doing what it is correctly designed to do. I could go on and on but you get my drift. To end with I think all fathers play a very important role in the very early stages of their child’s life, and if you do not think that getting up in the middle of the night is helping out then you’re mistaken. You may not be able to feed them but you can just be there for support, get her a cup of tea, coffee or water, something to eat, massage her shoulders or feet, or just get up and ask if there is anything you can do might be enough, I know this works as I did and do all of this. Remember… the more relaxed the mum, the more relaxed the baby and then the more relaxed the environment will be, to bring up the little bundle of joy you have created. Cheers and enjoy your children they will be the best invention you will ever produce.
With the fundamentals of fatherhood not changing really as you will always provide the best for your child, it was the little things that changed. It used to be almost a “she’ll be right” attitude towards products to clean, wipe, wrap your child in, ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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BABY SAFETY
NAPPY GODMOTHER By Helene Stock What can busy parents do to ensure a more sustainable future for their children? One way is by using cloth nappies, says Nappy Godmother manager Pamela Rees. And she speaks from experience. After four years of supplying and laundering cloth nappies, the business has saved over twenty tonnes of disposable nappies from being dumped in our landfills. “I know many of today’s young parents find throwaway nappies cheap and convenient. They also have other priorities competing with their concern for the environment - caring for babies and toddlers is a huge job. But every day over a million ‘disposable’ nappies are thrown into New Zealand’s landfills - and they will take centuries to biodegrade. Many don’t even make it to the landfill.
A recent six-month National Litter Audit showed the volume of nappies dumped in our public areas would fill 153 Olympicsized swimming pools.” Pamela sees the use of reusable cloth nappies as a way of “returning to the old ways”, before we had to worry about the dangers of plastics and chemicals used in baby products. She is convinced that cloth nappies are better for babies, especially those with allergies. And Nappy Godmother not only saves parents and caregivers the expense of buying their own reusable nappies, but the hassle of washing them.
“Nappy Godmother’s modern cloth nappies are adjustable and extremely absorbent. They “breathe”, which means they don’t expose babies to high temperatures under their nappies. It’s easy. Our families always have a good supply of nappies and they don’t need to soak the used ones, just tip off any excess and put them in the bucket provided, ready for twice-weekly collection.” Nappy Godmother operates from Whanganui, Palmerston North and surrounding areas down to the Kapiti Coast. Pamela supplies families and day care centres with cloth nappies and cloth wipes, picks up the dirty ones twice a week, washes them, and returns 24 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
them. She provides nappies for newborn and older babies and pullups for toddlers being toilet trained. Feedback about the Nappy Godmother service has been consistently enthusiastic. Parents find they never run out of nappies and the convenience of the service means they have more time to spend with their babies. Dads are quickly won over, especially as Pamela likes to include them in demonstrating how the nappies work. Recent parents came home from the hospital to find a gift of a month’s Nappy Godmother service and immediately signed up for it to continue. Parents of twins and babies with skin problems are especially appreciative while others enjoy tapping into Pamela’s experience and support. But the recurring theme of parents’ feedback is the twofold satisfaction of using nappies that are healthy for babies and doing their bit for the environment. Pamela says it is hard to put a value on this win-win situation but, in fact, families can achieve it for as little as $30 per week
with the Nappy Godmother service. “Remember: one year of cloth nappy use by one child saves around one tonne of harmful waste going into our landfills!” During Covid-19 Alert Level 4 Nappy Godmother has had to put its service on hold, especially as the day care centres the company services have closed their doors. The great news is that most of its family customers have chosen to wash their Nappy Godmother nappies themselves, thus getting them through this difficult time and perpetuating the aims and aspirations of the company.
For further information contact: Pamela Rees 027 699 9875 pamela@nappygodmother.co.nz www.nappygodmother.co.nz
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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PRODUCT REVIEW
CARRIER PRODUCT REVIEW: BECO EIGHT By Emily Holdaway I’m just going to come out and say it the easiest way to survive on your own with two (or more!) children is to tie one of them to your body, AKA babywearing. That’s where the Beco Eight comes in. The Beco Eight is available to purchase through The Sleep Store and is an upgraded version of Beco’s other offering, the Beco Gemini. The Eight is larger and boasts a higher weight limit, meaning it fits your child for longer! It’s a no frills buckle carrier, with two size settings for the seat of the carrier to accommodate both young babies and older children, as well as to allow a world facing option. With a zip down back that reveals a cool mesh panel, the Beco Eight is an ideal all-seasons carrier. The structured nature of the Beco Eight
makes it easy to put your baby on your front or back. There’s also a hip carry option, although I didn’t get a chance to try it. While the Beco Eight lacks some of the easy adjustability features of other carriers on the market, such as two-way tightening and PFAs, it was easy for me to get a comfortable fit wearing both my one year old and my three year old. Some people may find they prefer this as it makes it very straightforward to use. The Beco Eight has a hood that folds away into a zip pocket and a small section at the top of the panel that can be clipped up or down depending on your child’s height. This can also be used as a head support for younger babies. The waistband of the Beco Eight is comfortable and firmly padded. I
26 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
particularly enjoyed the lumbar support, although mostly as it stopped the waist strap from having a “muffin top” effect when back carrying. The waistband also has a zip pocket big enough to fit most mid-sized cellphones. The Beco Eight comes in a range of colours. The colour pictured is “Rust”, which is probably the nicest orange I’ve seen on a carrier so far. All in all, the Beco Eight is a solid choice at a mid-range price point. It’s easy and adjustable and fit well for me, a size 14 female wearer, with both a 1 year old and a 3 year old.
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ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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RECIPE
RECIPE: TIM TAM TRUFFLES By Emma Burton at Lights, Camera, Bake This Tim Tam Truffles recipe is not just for one flavour of truffles….. Not two….. But three flavours! All that’s required is three simple ingredients and you have an indulgent, no bake, quick and easy treat! Tim Tam Truffles: Three ingredient, no bake, sweet and delicious treat that look and taste so decadent that everybody will be surprised at how easy they are to make. To make these truffles, all you have to do is take a packet of Tim Tams – resisting the urge to eat them all – and crush them. Repeat this with the all three packets. These are quite hard to crush so I used a food processor but you could crush them by hand if you wish. You then mix the separate flavours with some condensed milk, roll them into balls and let them set in the fridge. You could stop there but these are decadent so we’re heading straight to fancy town…. (Fancy town? Where the heck do I come up with these things???) Anyway….
I hope you enjoy these Tim Tam Truffles! Post a pic with #lightscamerabake on Instagram for a chance to be featured on the Lights, Camera, Bake story and don’t forget to subscribe to the YouTube Channel for fun baking videos! Prep Time: 10 mins | Chilling: 50 mins Servings: 36 Truffles | Calories: 121 kcal
INGREDIENTS • 1 Packet Original Tim Tams • 1 Packet White Chocolate Tim Tams • 1 Packet Dark Chocolate Tim Tams • 1 Tin Sweetened Condensed Milk (400g) • 100 g White Chocolate, Melted • 100 g Milk Chocolate, Melted • 100 g Dark Chocolate, Melted
Take some white, milk and dark chocolate and melt separately, then roll the truffles in the chocolate and leave to set. You can have a little fun with the chocolate coating by mixing up the flavours. Placing white chocolate on the dark chocolate truffles, placing milk chocolate on the white truffles, etc. That way each truffle can be a surprise! If you want a smaller batch you can just third the recipe and use one packet of Tim Tams or you can mix it up and try different flavours of Tim Tams.
INSTRUCTIONS 1. Crush all the Tim Tams separately and place into three separate bowls so the original Tim Tams are in one, the white chocolate Tim Tams in the other and the dark chocolate Tim Tams in the last one.
BaBY Study Do you want to know how much milk you produce and if supplements will increase it? If you are • • • •
Aged 16 years or older, Breastfeeding your baby, Happy with using a breast pump, Living within 1 hour driving distance from Palmerston North.
You are welcome to take part in this study! In this study, you will • • • • • •
Take a supplement for four weeks Visit the researcher three times Pump milk from your breast in each visit Give 50 ml breast milk in each visit to analyse your milk Complete 6 online questionnaires Record your baby’s feeding and nappy change in two separate days
Please contact: Ms Lili Jia (PhD candidate and main investigator) Email: baby@massey.ac.nz Telephone: 06 951 6367 Cell phone: 022 191 0568 Or scan this QR Code to check your eligibility for this study first.
This project has been reviewed and approved by the Massey University Human Ethics Committee: Southern A, Application 18/80. If you have any concerns about the conduct of this research, please contact Dr Lesley Batten, Chair, Massey University Human Ethics Committee: Southern A, telephone 06 356 9099 x 85094, email humanethicsoutha@massey.ac.nz.
28 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
https://massey.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_b89iAGXEamSWz Ep
2. Pour a third of the condensed milk into each of the bowls.
the corresponding truffle flavour or mix it up and dip the truffles at random.
3. Mix the Tim Tams with the condensed milk until gooey. (Ensure you rinse the spoon between bowls).
7. Place in the fridge until the chocolate has set.
4. Roll the mixtures into balls and place on a non stick baking sheet on a baking tray and place in the freezer for half an hour. 5. Melt the three chocolate flavours separately and dip each truffle into the chocolate. 6. You can either use the chocolate flavour to
8. Store in the refrigerator for up to two weeks.
RECIPE NOTES You can just use one packet of Tim Tams if you want a smaller amount of truffles. You can use all the same flavour of Tim Tams and chocolate if you prefer.
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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CRAFT
CRAF T: PAINTED P LANT P OTS By Sarah Taylor With Mother’s Day coming up in May and a rainy day at home I took advantage and got the kids involved in painting a pot as a present for Granny. My 18-month-old loved exploring the paint and seeing his handprint on the pot, to be honest my newborn had no idea what was going on but it was still a super fun at home activity and would be great for all ages.
Equipment needed: • • • • • • •
A pot- We used a terracotta one from the warehouse Paint-We used the Crayola washable kids paint Paintbrush/roller/stamps/hands-something to apply the paint Paper/surface to put the paint on Potting mix or soil Seeds/bulbs/plants-We used daffodil bulbs Sealer-We used PlastiKote superior clear acrylic gloss finish spray-paint
As part of the Kind Hearts Movement
d n i K ea ts H
has bestowed a random act of kindness upon
Nadine Olsen You will each receive a free coffee voucher! Don’t forget to pay it forward! Streetwise Coffee Cart, Rangitikei Street, Palmerston North
30 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
Method: STEP ONE: We got the paint out while baby was sleeping, Theo had a good look at all the colors and picked some he liked.
STEP TWO: We put some paint on a plate and used the sponge roller to cover my hand, then pressed it onto the pot giving him a chance to see what we were going to do.
STEP THREE: Painted his hand, then pressed it onto the pot. STEP FOUR: Let him go nuts and explore the texture of the paint, Theo was particularly interested
in mixing the colors and watching them change and not particularly interested in using the paintbrush. I didn’t worry too much and let him finger paint the pot. I would guess that older kids might be more interested in this part.
STEP FIVE: Wait for Dad to get home so he can help do the newborn’s handprint. STEP SIX: Once paint is dry, take it outside and spray with sealer. STEP SIX: Fill with potting mix and put in a plant of your choice.
Alissa Black
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUPS Across Te Kotahitanga O Te Wairua We can provide a range of social services which include: Counselling, Family support (including respite care for children), Parenting advice/information and programmes, Advice on other services available for parents and families. Contact: Graeme on (06) 356 7486 or visit www.across.org.nz Allergy New Zealand Support groups are a great way to meet others in a similar situation to you. They are very relaxed, informal sessions to share ideas, discuss your concerns, and get information and resources. Our regional support group is there to help put you in contact with others, to provide you with information such as those all important recipes, and to listen when you need someone to talk to. They are not medically qualified but can refer your queries on and seek information on your behalf. For further information phone 0800 34 0800 or visit www.allergy.org.nz Babywearers Manawatu This is a great way to try different carriers while finding a carrier that suits you and your baby. Babywearers Manawatu Sling Library is on most Wednesdays 12 pm - 1 pm (check FB for up to date info) at Palmerston North Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave Street, Palmerston North. Membership is one off payment of $10 and carrier hire costs $5 for one week.https://www.facebook.com/groups/ babywearersmanawatu/ Brain Injury Association Central Districts We provide advocacy information and support for people with brain injury, their families, whanau and carers. For more information call (06) 354 3540. Breastfeeding Help An IBCLC (often called lactation consultant) is a breastfeeding specialist qualified to prevent, recognise, and resolve breastfeeding problems. All members of NZCLA hold the professional qualification of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Any mother, family member or health professional interested in obtaining the contact details of an IBCLC can phone 0800 4 LACTATION (0800 452 282) during daytime hours. HOPE An opportunity for parents of premature babies to meet and chat and to offer hope and support to those who currently have babies in the Neo-Natal Unit. Graduates welcome. Held at: Plunket Family Centre, 42 Albert Street, Palmerston North. Monday 1pm – 2.30pm. Contact: Karlyn Sullivan-Jones (06) 353 0663 or karlynandmark@xnet.co.nz Itchy Kids A national support group for parents and whanau who care for children with eczema and allergies. For more information contact Sarah Hartley 027 333 7385 or email hartleyfamilynz@gmail.com or visit itchykids.org.nz Manawatu Toy Library Now located at 200 Church Street, Palmerston North, this fabulous toy library has a collection of over 2000 toys. Our members include families, carers, and educational groups. We have toys suitable for babies 5+ months through to school age children. Membership costs $95 per annum or $60 for six months. You are welcome to visit to see what we offer. To find out more, including opening hours: manawatutoylibrary.nz, or call 027 364 6911. Manawatu Down Syndrome Association Regional contact is Andrea Wales (06) 356 1767. Manawatu Home Birth Association Offering information, advice and support to women and their families seeking to birth their babies at home. Birth pools and other equipment available for hire. Library, sibling kits, and bimonthly
newsletters also available. Call (06) 356 BABY (06 356 2229) for more information. Manline Manline services are unique in that we are the only “men helping men” organisation in the Manawatu and Tararua region offering services for men to explore issues within their lives. Our programs are designed to be educational, developmental, rehabilitative, and preventative. http://www.manline.co.nz/home or 06 358 1211 Miscarriage Support Miscarriage can be a very lonely experience and is often not talked about. Miscarriage support groups have produced quality information and pamphlets for women/couples who may need information and support. These invaluable resources can be downloaded from miscarriage.org.nz Methodist Social Services Offering free programmes for primary/intermediate aged children and their parents/caregivers, around the areas of anger management, grief loss and change, and confidence building. We also offer family, couple, and individual counselling, and have both male and female counsellors available. Advocacy and social work support services are provided along with an emergency food service. For all enquiries, please call 06 350 0307, 663 Main Street, Palmerston North. Palmerston North Breastfeeding support group We provide a relaxed place to come and ask questions about breastfeeding and parenting , we hold regular meeting on the first Monday of the month at Palmy Parents Centre, Ruahine St, 10am. We have a library with a wide range of books relating to breastfeeding and parenting. http://www.lalecheleague. org.nz/palmerston-north or https://www.facebook.com/ PNbreastfeedingsupport/ Parent to Parent Supporting families of children with a special need, health impairment, or disability. For more information please phone (06) 355 0787or email manawatu@parent2parent.org.nz Parentline 24 Hour Crisis Line. Offering help and support for parents 24 hours a day. Phone 0800 4 FAMILY. Plunket Education Services For parent education classes please contact the Plunket family centre in Albert Street, Palmerston North, (06) 356 7248 for more information regarding classes in 2016. Reflux Support Contact: Sharon 354 7280 Sands A voluntary group who have lost babies before, during or after birth. They can provide first hand support, guidance, and information on miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn death. Further information and support can be found by contacting Shaun and Gaylene Vivian (06) 356 9715 or visiting sands.org.nz Supergrans Manawatu Charitable Trust Supergrans Manawatu is all about helping people help themselves. A service to all to brush up on the basic skills needed to provide for oneself or for a family. Our motto is not a ‘do it for you today’ it is a ‘help you to do it tomorrow’ concept. This is a free service. It is concerned with encouraging better skills in those everyday tasks around the home that sustain life. We work with you in your own home. Phone (06) 354 3804 or 021 0669 442 for further information.
32 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
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15% OFF Discounted, low ratio childcare – For 30 hours WAIVED weekly admin & placement fees
TV aerial/satellite installer
10% OFF All current PNPC members receive 10% off labour only Call Now for a FREE Quote Robert Torok Ph: 06 354 5664 or 027 294 3972
Link Arcade, Broadway Avenue Palmerston North Ph: 06 358 1309
$10 OFF All current PNPC members receive $10 off, offer cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Sharlene Adkins (t) 06 355 4939 (e) sharlene@smallp.com (m) 021 185 2064. www.smallp.com
ISSUE 294 . April | May 2020
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PLAYGROUPS IN YOUR AREA Plunket Family Centre Playgroup
ASHHURST
Ashhurst Playcentre
AWAPUNI/WESTEND
Kingston St Chapel Palmy Playgroup
42 Albert Street
021-808-340
Mondays & Fridays 10am to 12noon
118 Standford Street
326 9270
Mon to Thurs 9am - 12pm
Kingston St 358 0716 Awapuni Community Centre, Newbury St Facebook: Palmy Playgroup
Tues & Thurs 9am- 11:30am Tues & Fri 9.30am to 11.30am
Crossroads Early Childhood Salvation Army Rudolf Steiner Seventh Day Adventist Church Playgroup with Hope
220 Church St 358 0669 cnr Church & Princess Sts 358 7455 187 Ruahine St 354 4514 257 Ferguson St 282 Cuba Street (opposite Briscoes) Contact: Heather 027 334 9981
Mon to Fri 9am to 12noon Thurs 9:30am to 11am Tues 9:30am - 12noon & Thu 2pm -3:30pm Wed 9:30 to 11:00am Tuesday 9.30-11.30am playgroup@hopevineyard.nz
FEILDING Feilding Playcentre Community Fielding Playcentre Doodlebugs SPACE Bright Sparks Preschool Programme
254A Kimbolton Rd 42 North St Knox Hall, North St 22 Bowen St Feilding Library
323 6100 323 1918 323 7240 323 7221 323 5373
Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Thurs 9am to 11:30am Contact for more details Wed 10:30am to 11:30am
12-32 Brentwood Ave
358 2255
Fri 8:30am to 12noon
339 Albert St Huia St extn
357 9411 357 0791
Wed 9:30am to 10:30am Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri 9am - 12noon
CENTRAL
HIGHBURY
Te Aroha Noa Community Services
HOKOWHITU
St Albans Church Park Road Playcentre
LINTON
Linton Playgroup
MILSON
Milson Playcentre
OPIKI
Opiki Playgroup
ROSLYN/KELVIN GROVE
Kelvin Grove Salvation Army Church on Vogel Plunket Roslyn Over 1’s Coffee Group
Linton Camp (Community Centre) 3519970
Mon & Wed 9am to 11:30am
1a Seaforth Ave
Mon, Wed & Fri 9am-12noon
356 9824
St Andrews Church, Main Road
Tues 10am to 12noon
99-103 Kaimanawa St 127 Vogel St 177 Vogel Street
Wed 9:30am to 11:30am Wed 9:30am to 12noon Wednesdays 9.30am to 11am
353 0917 357 7336 021-808-340
RONGOTEA
Te Kawau Playcentre Medway St 324 8246
SANSON
Sanson Playcentre
TERRACE END
St David‘s Presbyterian Church Terrace End Playcentre
Mon to Thurs 9:15am to 12:15pm, Fri 11:45am to 2:45pm
2 Philipps St
329 3503
Tues and Fri 9am to 12noon
Cnr Main & Rainforth 77 Ruamahanga Cres
358 3246 0221400610
Tues 10:00am to 11:30am Wed, Thu, Fri 9.30am to 12.30 school term
SPECIALIST GROUPS
La Leche League 355 3104 Manawatu Multiple Birth Club Kingston St Church 357 9773 Parent 2 Parent Special Needs Matipo St 355 0787 ABCD early intervention group 9 Woburn Place 0800 693 724 - Down Syndrome French for Preschoolers 1st floor, 47 the Square 021 207 0114 Spanish Class – 2 yrs and up 355 8257 Plunket Bhutanese Playgroup 25 Franklin Ave 3574844 Book Bubs baby book club PN Library
34 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE
Contact for more details Every 2nd Wed,10am 1st and 3rd Tues each month, 1-3pm Once a month on Thurs 10am to 12noon Fri 3.30pm to 4.30pm Contact for further details Mon 12.30 – 2.30pm Thursday 10.30 – 11 am fortnightly.
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