PalmyParent301 June July 2021 by Palmy Parent

PALMY PARENT PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

June / July . 2021

PREGNANCY NAUSEA AND VOMITING

WHANGAI ORA MILK BANK

WINTER-TIME BLUES... GONE!

Returning to work. When deciding about returning to work, there are numerous things to think about including: Flexi hours Extended leave Keeping in touch Expressing/feeding Child care Your other options (Including choosing not to go back to work). Come along to hear Esther Fou, an experienced working professional in HR and mum to three children discuss this topic.

Saturday 12th June 10am Free to attend, but registration is essential 117 Ruahine Street, Palm Nth www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz

EDITOR’S NOTE We l c o m e t o t h e J u n e / J u l y i s s u e o f Palmy Parent! This issue has a bit of a cold weather theme, with articles about making leaf crafts, ideas to entertain your kids indoors, and a o v e r v i e w o f Te M a n a w a ’ s r e c e n t l y redone kid’s area! There’s some exciting events coming up in the next couple of months, including the Parent and Child Expo and the Matariki Puanga event! Find out more on our “What’s On” page! We also take a look at some environmentally friendly kitchen products and the newly launched Whāngai Ora Milk Bank! We’re always looking for contributors! If you would or anyone you know would like to share your empowering birth (or adoption) story, please get in touch at palmyparenteditor@ gmail.com, you don’t need to be a great writer, we can work with you to get your story told.

Jessica Mollie Ensing Editor

ADVERTISE IN PALMY PARENT Palmerston North Parents Centre has a circulation of over 250 magazines per issue. These are sent to all current members as well as Plunket, midwives and other community groups. Our rates are extremely competitive and we would love your support by way of an advertisement. Also, in addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six adverts per annum. For more information contact our Business Relations Officer by email at: palmyparent@hotmail.com One-off price

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In addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six half or full-page adverts per annum ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

CONTENTS FEATURES Whāngai Ora Milk Bank

Grandparents Doing It Differently

Pregnancy Nausea and Vomiting

Winter-time blues... gone!

IN EVERY ISSUE Editor’s note

PNPC Seminars & Events

Book Review

Welcom to the World: Craddle Roll

What’s On

Birth Story: Hello baby Micah

Dad’s Life: 12 things every new mum wants you to know

Product Review: Eco-Friendly Kitchen

Craft: Leaf Craft

Family Friendly Outing: Kids Zone at Te Manawa

Community support groups

Member discounts

Playgroups in your area

GOT SOMETHING TO SHARE?

CHECK OUT OUR WINNERS Bruce McKenzie Book Giveaway

The Hair Company styling treatment

Cottage Flowers Arrangement

Kind Hearts, Streetwise Coffee

CONTRIBUTORS Laura Wenden Green, Desiree Harvey, Pinky McKay, Saritta Burney, Rachel McKay, Jessica Ensing, Helena Slako, Erin Evis Front cover by: George Hodan

4 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

Want to share some helpful advice or a great book you’ve read? Let us know and we’ll share it with our members. Or, if you would like to have your baby’s photos printed, write about your birth experience, review a book or a family friendly venue you have visited recently, we’d love to hear from you!

Email the Editor at: palmyparenteditor@gmail.com

COMMITTEE NEWS The Esplanade Open Day started out windy and threatening rain but thankfully the weather improved, and we had a great day, sharing our centre and upcoming Expo with all who stopped by. Thanks to everyone who stopped by and entered our giveaway, the lucky winner was Kendra who was super excited with her haul.

complete with new sign, where you can change, feed and relax in comfort. Our Preggy to Preschool Garage sale was on the 24th April and was well attended. There were plenty of bargains had, and our sellers were pleased as they sold a lot if not most of their items they had for sale. We received some generous donations after the sale for our Partnering for Good project, these items were welcomed by our friends at Te Aroha Noa. We are planning some events around this partnership later in the year, so keep an eye on FB to find out more. Our AGM is happening on the 23rd June 2021, 7pm at Centre (117 Ruahine Street), all members are welcome to attend, without obligation to join the committee, so if you would like to see what we have done in the last year, feel free to come along. There will be drinks and pizza provided. We are always we are always looking for more volunteers, if you are interested, please send us an email on info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz Saritta and The Palmy Parents Centre Team.

Our Palmy Parents and Child Expo is happening on the 13th of June, there will be goody bags for the first 200 entries. You might be lucky enough to find a special golden ticket in these goody bags, winning prizes from different sponsors such as KR’s Café, Cravings Café, Huiwinui Country Estate Boutique, Barkers of Geraldine, Haakaa, NV Hair Design, Halo Salt Rooms and Holistic Beauty, Farmlands Foods, Tui Balm, and Hire a Housewife. Thank you to our goody bag sponsors, the prize packs are going to be amazing. The Palmy Parents and Child Expo will be a winter’s day out for the kids. There will be plenty of things for the children to do, there will be bouncy castles, toys, face painting and Bunnings kid’s workshops to name a few. As always, we will have our Parents Room,

Mission statement Positive birth experiences and informed parenting in a community where parents are supported and highly valued in their role.

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Disclaimer: Opinions and articles in this magazine do not necessarily reflect Parents Centre NZ policy. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centre. ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

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6 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

PNPC

SEMINARS & EVENTS JUNE & JULY

Responsive Parenting Course - Online via Zoom Wednesday 9th June, Wednesday 16th June, Wednesday 23rd June, Wednesday 30th June, Wednesday 7th July & Wednesday 14th July 7.309pm via Zoom

Palmerston North Parents Centre’s Responsive Parenting Workshops are designed to encourage, support, and equip families with positive, ‘responsive’, and non-punitive strategies for the parenting journey.

Cost: $20 per person or $35 per couple

Newborn Breastfeeding Saturday 5th June February 10am If you are expecting a child soon and plan on breastfeeding, or have recently begun breastfeeding a newborn, then this seminar is a MUST. Come along and learn techniques for achieving a successful, enjoyable, and sustainable breastfeeding journey. Presented by Cheryl Benn, International BoardCertified Lactation Consultant, self-employed midwife, and Regional Midwifery Advisor to MidCentral and Whanganui DHBs. In this seminar Cheryl will cover: • My amazing breasts and breast milk • Expressing and storing colostrum • Birth, skin to skin, and the first breastfeed • The first few weeks - why do babies suck so much and signs of milk transfer • Q & A time You can attend this seminar while pregnant and again in the early weeks with your newborn.

FREE for all to attend but registration is essential as numbers are limited.

Returning to work Saturday 12th June 10am When deciding about returning to work, there are numerous things to think about including: • Flexi hours • Extended leave • Keeping in touch • Expressing/feeding • Child care

• Your other options (including choosing not to go back to work) Come along to hear Esther Fou, an experienced working professional in HR and mum to three children, discuss this topic.

FREE for all to attend but registration is essential as numbers are limited.

Postnatal Nutrition Wednesday 7th July 7pm Our diet after bubs has been born becomes more important than ever. As a mum of four, I personally and professionally see this as an area mums struggle with due to lack of time, energy, and motivation. However we don’t want to reach burnout! In this workshop you will learn key tips to replenish your lost nutrient stores, easy and practical (because I like practical) ideas on snacks and meals, energy to support breastfeeding, and eating strategies to support weight management. Plus, I will put on my other hat as an Exercise Specialist and provide you a guide towards returning to exercise after baby.

Cost: $10 per person

Starting Solids Sunday 18th July 1030am Perfect for parents of 3-9 month olds. In this popular seminar with Registered Dietitian and mum Megan Somerville, you will learn the signs that your baby is ready for complementary feeding, what to introduce when, other topics to ensure you are confident and ready for this next step

Cost: $6 members; $12 non-members. Registration is essential as numbers are limited.

Feeding Under 5’s Sunday 25th July 1030am Join Registered Dietitian and mum Megan Somerville to discuss the practicalities of feeding 1-3 year olds. Learn about common challenges such as fussy eating, discuss practical tips and strategies around making mealtimes easy and how you can support your toddler to develop a healthy relationship with food

Cost: $6 members; $12 non-members. Registration is essential as numbers are limited. To register please see our website: http://www.palmyparentscentre.org.nz/ All seminars and events can be found in our calendar on the website. For any queries please email: info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

BOOK REVIEW

FLIT THE FANTAIL AND THE MATARIKI MAP Reviewed by Desiree Harvey Words and Illustrations by Kat Quin Available at Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street - Paperback $19.99 We have a healthy appreciation for fantail, or pīwakawaka, at our place. There are a lovely couple that flit around the trees and who love catching the bugs from our compost! The kids like chatting with them, so I was very happy to share and review this book about the adorable wee Flit the Fantail. The story begins with Flit, distracted when he was supposed to be sleeping (an unfortunately familiar and ongoing theme in our house!), by the large glowing moon shining brightly on the horizon. He has a great idea that the moon would be useful on his branch to light up the area so he can continue to play when it is dark. So, off he goes on the hunt to catch it and bring it home. Keri the Kiwi joins him and together they set off on a journey and get lost, while unsurprisingly unable to capture the moon. Flit remembers that he saw the 9 stars of Matariki before he left, so uses the stars to successfully navigate his way home. It is timely to read this to the kids when Matariki is just around the corner, and fun to explain that Māori historically used the stars as a way to navigate in real life.

I V G E A K WAY O O B Be in to win this issue’s reviewed book!

Just follow these 3 easy steps!

To enter the draw to win this issue’s book, email your name, with ‘Book Giveaway’ in the subject line to info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz

15 th July 2021 That’s

all!

The winner’s name will be printed in the next issue of the Palmy Parent and the winner can collect their book from the Palmy Parent Centre.

ratu Cong lation Fiona Sharland

: s to

Entries for the next draw must be received by

who has won a copy of ‘Adventures of Cuppy the Crab’

8 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

The children’s book reviewed above has been generously donated by Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North to give away to a lucky Parents Centre Member. Bruce McKenzie’s Booksellers is situated in George Street beside the entrance to the Palmerston North Library. Bruce McKenzie’s carries an enormous range of books from children’s to specialist non-fiction and is definitely worth a visit. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask the staff who are always willing to help.

CRADDLE ROLL

WELCOME TO THE WORLD Welcome to all the new babies born to our wonderful Parent Centre members! If there are any corrections to the list below, please email palmyparenteditor@gmail.com

Class: Due December | CBE: Rebekah Matsas/Teresa Watson | Tamara Milldove

Immanuel Wyatt Vattiprolu

Amos Gray Mabey

Francis & Joanna Vattiprolu

Chresten Mabey & Willow Byth Aldrich

2 December 2020

7 December 2020

Harvey William Pritchard

Esme Rose Brunette

Hayden & Sasha Pritchard

Nick Brunette & Mel Monehan

9 December 2020

14 December 2020

Leo Hugh Paulo Areosa

Romee-Kowhai Faye Cryer

Riccardo Areosa & Avril Carlsson

Ciaran Cryer & Kiri Sword

16 December 2020

born to

Jacob Robert William Richards born to

Jayden Richards & Paige Sly

19 December 2020

Daphne Joy Read born to

Mark & Meg Read

27 December 2020

Gracie Matilda Wilson born to

Jordan & Brittany Wilson

1 January 2021

Amelia Ida Tania Harris born to

Nathan & Sarah Harris

26 January 2021 ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

WHAT’S ON... Palmy Parent & Child Expo

Awapuni Function Centre, Racecourse Rd, Awapuni, Palmerston North Sunday 13 June 2021 10:00am – 3:00pm Under 16: $0.00 Adults: $2.00 The Palmy Parent & Child Expo is back for 2021! A great event for the whole family! Local businesses come together to showcase their products and services to local families. Fantastic exhibitors and stalls, bouncy castles for the kids, Bunnings DIY kids workshop, face painting, activities, food trucks, giveaways and more. Free goodie bags for the first 200 families through the door!

Matariki Night Weaving Stars

Roslyn Library, 8 Kipling St, Palmerston North Wednesday 23 June 2021 5:30pm – 7:00pm Join us to celebrate Matariki and learn to how to weave harakeke (flax) into beautiful whetū (stars). This will be a fun night for the whole family or to bring a group of friends along. The evening will start with weaving the harakeke stars from 5:30pm - 7pm. Then from 6:30pm 7:30pm we will be having a supper of soup and buns. All materials will be provided.

Pancakes at the Museum

Te Manawa Museum of Art, Science and History, 326 Main St, Palmerston North Sunday 27 June 2021 11:00am – 2:00pm Join us for a day of cooking unusual pancakes. Choose from our range of well-known characters, cook a pancake of them using blue, red, yellow or even black mixture, and then eat them! At previous events we’ve baked Cookie Monster, Elmo and Sonic - what will you make? Gold coin per pancake - make as many as you like.

Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Te Manawa Museum of Art, Science and History, 326 Main St, Palmerston North Saturday 10 July 2021 11:00am – 12:30pm When you go down to the museum today, you’re in for a big surprise! Bring your teddy bear and some lunch, and enjoy stories read by Te Manawa staff in costume. We’ll have seating available but bring something comfy to sit on just in case.

Matariki Puanga

Manawatu River Path, Albert Street, Palmerston North Saturday 10 July 2021 4:00pm – 7:00pm We’ll be celebrating the Māori new year with a Matariki Puanga festival at our awa (river) pathway. Join us on Saturday 10 July for a light show, kai, kapa haka, Māori storytelling and performances. The celebration is being held along from the Albert Street entrance of the Manawatū River, at the star path from 4pm -7pm. Matariki is a cluster of stars known as Pleiades or the Seven Sisters. The first new moon following the rise of Matariki is the first day of the Māori New Year. Matariki can be hard to see from Manawatū so some Māori instead give prominence to Puanga, another prominent star near Matariki. This year you’ll be treated to a light show projected onto the cliff face opposite the festival. The festival can be accessed from the Fitzherbert bridge or Albert Street walkway entrances. If you enter from the Fitzherbert bridge end, you’ll need to walk east down the walkway towards the Manawatū Golf Club. When entering from the Albert Street entrance, you’ll need to walk west, towards the Fitzherbert bridge. Please wear gumboots or sneakers as it may be muddy and bring a torch, and blankets to sit on.

Nerf Battle V

Te Manawa Museum of Art, Science and History, 326 Main St, Palmerston North Saturday 17 July 2021 5:45pm – 9:45pm Ticket Information: Players (per round): $5.00 The Nerf Battle returns for a fifth go! A special round for ages 5-7 runs from 5.45-6.45 pm; all-ages rounds are hourly thereafter. You must bring your own equipment; we’ll supply the darts. Eye protection is compulsory. No charge for spectators. Book by calling 0800-4-A-MUSEUM or visiting our front desk.

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ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

FEATURE

WHANGAI ORA MILK BANK In the crisp darkness before dawn on the morning of World Day of Human Milk Donation, a group of women witnessed a karakia by Terry Hapi of Rangitāne and were led down a humble corridor to a small kitchen beneath the empty Te Papaioea Birthing Centre. After a simple and powerful ceremony blessing the facility, and the gifting of a name to the equipment, they went upstairs for a chat and a cup of tea. This simplicity, intimacy, and practicality is indicative of the nature of the work these women do. Calmly, compassionately, and without fanfare, they have managed to establish the first Human Milk Bank in the North Island, and the first nonDHB Human Milk Bank in New Zealand.

having issues with supply, medication, or illness. The strong network of informal milk sharing via the Milksharing Manawatu Facebook page told her that there was a willingness for donation in the community, but nobody was taking it to the next step to collect, test and pasteurise the milk. With the smallest of pushes from two of her regular attendees, Jacqui quickly found herself with a steering committee of seven women, all with their own breastfeeding and milk sharing stories that made them passionate about the project. To support Jacqui’s experience with the technical aspects of breastmilk pasteurisation,

The work began after lockdown last year, with Jacqui Nutt, Lactation consultant and milk banking veteran. Her resume includes establishing milk banks in South Africa and witnessing the outcomes that the provision of safe, tested, pasteurised donor milk was providing for the smallest and sickest of babies in the neonatal units. Neonatal Necrotizing Enterocolitis, a condition that kills 30-50% of infants who contract it, has been found to occur 6-10 times more frequently in preterm neonates who were fed with formula than either mothers own milk or human donor milk. In addition, the World Health Organisation lists donor milk in its hierarchy of optimal feeding methods for all infants, and here in New Zealand there was so little formal access to it. In running the weekly Milk Cafe support group in Te Papaioea Birthing Centre, she was constantly hearing stories of families desperate to provide breastmilk for their children but

the others worked on creating policy documents, writing Trust deeds, arranging bank accounts and fundraisers, liaising with medical communities, finding donors and reaching out to potential recipients. The support for the project grew exponentially. Every person who was approached responded with generosity and excitement. Medlabs subsidised the blood tests which all milk donors must complete in order to ensure they are not passing pathogens in their milk to the

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potentially very sick or small recipient babies. Chloe Wright, of the Wright Family Foundation, met with Jacqui in September to become the financial backer of the organisation, providing freedom from financial pressure to ensure the organisation could focus on the work at hand. Following shortly afterwards, Sir Patrick Higgins, of Higgins Family Holdings, provided sponsorship of a custom built pasteurisation unit. The stories soon followed - babies born at 24 weeks now thriving thanks to donor milk, parents who were continuing their breastfeeding relationship thanks to the support of a few feeds of donor milk, women who had come to the organisation with their newborns as recipients being so well supported by the team and their work that they returned as donors. Medical professionals sent referrals and spread the word through their work in the NICU, as LMCs, and throughout the community. The wrap around support of the organisation’s lactation consultant designed to make the use of donor milk a short term assistance while the parental supply was established made parents confident, passionate and fortified to continue breastfeeding their children. The committee expanded to include more parents who had been directly supported by the community of compassionate donors who had facilitated their own breastfeeding journeys and now wanted to give back. Returning to May 19th, 2021, the official launch brought together all these various groups to celebrate the achievement made here in Te Papaioea. Representatives from the DHB, the

NICU, LMCs and Lactation consultants, Child Birth Educators, representatives from Rangitāne and the Māori Women’s Welfare League, recipients and donors joined the committee for a celebration and acknowledgement of the work achieved and the work yet to come. With her daughter and donor milk ambassador on hip, Chairperson Amie Brown spoke on the name of this group - ‘Whāngai Ora Milk Bank’. Not only is the acronym WOMB so apt for a group like this, the layers of meaning in the name reflect the deeply held values of its volunteers. ‘Whāngai’ means to feed and nourish bodily, but it also means to adopt or surrogate a child. ‘Ora’ speaks to vitality and the essence of being alive. That is what this organisation seeks to provide for the families of the region - an option to be nourished wholly. Physical nourishment with safe donor milk for the infants, and soulful nourishment for the parents of these children through support and a sense of community, one clearly evident at this event. The work for this group of women continues. Now a registered charity, the groundwork has been set, but the need for funds, equipment, support and most notably donor milk is ongoing. If you have any of these to spare, require donor milk for your infant or support on your breastfeeding journey, please feel free to get in touch at @whangaiora on both Facebook and Instagram, or via email at info@whangaiora.org. nz. Further information about the organisation can be found at www.whangaiora.org.nz

Congratulates

Ashley and Patrick Osman For winning a Treatment, Cut and Blowwave for being a current Palmerston North Patents Centre member Ph: 358 4010 | Hotel Coachman,134 Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North | thehaircompany.co.nz Open Mon - Sat, late nights Tues and Thur

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

PARENTING FEATURE

GRANDPARENTS DOING IT DIFFERENTLY

WHEN GRANDMA’S ADVICE COULD BE UNSAFE By Pinky McKay The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is very precious, however it is expressed – it gives children a sense of safety and protection, a link to their cultural heritage and family history, and grandparents can add a new dimension to play and companionship to children as well as support for you.

TUMMIES. Not only were babies popped tummies to sleep, especially ‘windy’, they were placed into heads at the top end of the

However, the road to family harmony can be paved with a few rocky patches, especially when it comes to differences in parenting styles or outdated advice due to changes that have happened since you were a baby. WHEN GRANDMA’S ADVICE IS OUTDATED Advice is usually well-meant and grandparents are simply trying to be helpful or feel connected to their grandbaby, but some of grandma’s wisdom may now be outdated and even unsafe – even though she did a damn good job of raising you! For instance: PUTTING BABIES TO SLEEP ON THEIR

PARENT CENTRE PARTNERS:

14 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

down on their if they were bed with their cot and often

tucked up with a lovingly made quilt over them. It was thought that placing a baby on their backs to sleep would mean they could aspirate vomit and choke. However, due to a wealth of research into SIDS since you were a baby, we are now advised to place sleeping babies on their backs (not sides or tummies) and ‘feet to foot’ – placing baby at the bottom of the cot so they can’t wriggle down beneath the blankets; no quilts or doonas to prevent overheating; no hats when sleeping; and it’s important to maintain a smoke free environment during pregnancy, as well as around babies and children. Although placing babies on their backs to sleep has been advised for several years, recent research funded by the charity River’s Gift is showing that some babies may be especially vulnerable if placed on their tummies to sleep: international research involving the University of Adelaide has uncovered a developmental abnormality in babies – especially in premature babies and in boys – that for the first time has been directly linked to cases of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Researchers believe this abnormality, in the brain’s control of head and neck movement, breathing, heartbeat and the body’s responses to deprivation of oxygen supply, could be the reason why some babies sleeping on their front are more at risk of SIDS.

Australia also shows that although actual milk production doesn’t vary widely over a 24 hour period, individual women have different breast milk storage capacities. This isn’t necessarily related to the size of your breasts though, as some women with smaller breasts may have a good supply of milk- making glands, where a mother with larger breasts may have more fatty tissue. However, different storage capacities will mean that a woman with a smaller storage capacity will need to feed her baby more often to maintain a healthy milk supply and mothers with a larger storage capacity may be able to go longer between feeds (as long as their baby’s stomach capacity is big enough). Your storage capacity isn’t something you need to worry about. Imagine drinking a litre of fluid over a day; if we are drinking this from a shot glass, we will need more refills and if we are drinking from a schooner, we will need fewer refills. So just consider, some of us have ‘shot glasses’ and some women have ‘jugs’ and this won’t affect your actual milk supply if you watch your baby, not the clock. DITCHING NIGHT FEEDS Not only was grandma advised to stick to a strict feeding routine, but she was most likely told to ditch the 2 am feed (yes, that was the time advised by her strict feeding routine) at six weeks!

STRICT FEEDING ROUTINES In grandma’s day, she was most likely advised to follow a strict four hourly feeding routine. I have heard stories of heartbreak as grandmothers share their experiences of waiting outside the door of a crying baby, desperately watching the clock until it was time to feed their baby – of course, some (including me) would have broken these ‘rules’ but with trepidation that they would ‘spoil’ their baby (whatever that meant). With such pressure on a new mother, is it any wonder we have a generation of grandmothers who believed they didn’t have enough milk, when it was actually the feeding schedules that were inappropriate? We now know that breastfeeding works on a basis of supply and demand – the more milk removed, encourages breasts to make more milk, so stretching out feeds to fit a strict routine can compromise milk supply. Research from the University of Western ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

Although you are unlikely to be advised to night wean your baby at 6 weeks, there is still enormous pressure around infant sleep and encouraging (read, training) babies to sleep ‘all night’ so it’s helpful to be armed with information. In reality, babies may need night feeds right through the first year and, even beyond this, cuddles and a quick drink of mama milk can soothe little night howls. Although hunger is the obvious reason for a young baby who is growing rapidly to need night feeds, night nursing is about so much more than food. Breastfeeding is about comfort, connection, and immunity, as well as food. It is also nutrition for a baby’s developing brain. This means that as your baby enters new developmental stages, they will most likely go on a feeding binge to fuel their growing brain. When they have been exposed to a bug, your baby will need to ‘tank up’ on the amazing immune factors in your milk and when they are in pain or uncomfortable, perhaps from teething, the relaxing chemicals in breast milk will soothe your little one. Also, as your baby goes through normal stages of experiencing separation anxiety, they will want to connect to ‘the source’ through the security of your

arms and the comfort of breastfeeding. During night time feeds, prolactin, the hormone that facilitates breast milk production as well as bonding and attachment reaches the highest levels. This means your baby will probably get the ‘best milk’ at night. Besides baby reasons for night feeds, the most important ‘mummy reason’ is maintaining your milk supply. In the early days, your breasts need frequent stimulation to ‘set’ your milk production capacity as your milk supply is influenced by post birth hormones. Also, in the first three months after birth, there is more breast development happening – you are developing more prolactin receptors, which will encourage your ongoing milk supply. Your milk storage capacity can also influence your baby’s need to feed overnight as well as your ongoing milk supply: a mother with a large storage capacity has the room in her milk-making glands to comfortably store more milk at night before it exerts the amount of internal pressure needed to slow her milk production. On the other hand, if the baby of the small-capacity mother sleeps for too long at night, her breasts become so full that her

Hire a Tens Machine Hire a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine to help reduce your pain during labour and childbirth. Palmerston North Parents Centre (PNPC) has five TENS machines available for hire by our members for ONLY $20 for up to four weeks’ hireage (plus a $40.00 refundable bond). Machines can be booked for the two weeks prior to your due date until two weeks post due date. Watch a video interview with a TENS machine expert at youtube.com/ watch?v=4gUEtYAqPw8

Book your TENS Machine from: Palmerston North Parents Centre, 117 Ruahine Street, info@palmyparentscentre.org.nz. Please pay in cash. Full terms and conditions supplied upon inquiry. Note: TEENS pads are reusable, you can purchase new TENS pads for $35.

16 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

DAD’S LIFE

milk production slows.

serious risks.

BOTTLES OF BOILED WATER So, are you wondering how on earth grandma could have weaned a baby from night feeds as

Giving water to newborns can affect your milk supply and your baby’s weight gains whether breast or formula fed (no calories in water!) and

young as 6 weeks? As she left hospital with her newborn, the new mother would have been given a pep talk by her midwife to offer a bottle of boiled water instead of milk at the 2 am feed (yes the routine was that strict!)

for all babies under six months, giving water can dilute the sodium in the baby’s bloodstream to the point where a potentially life threatening condition known as “oral water intoxication” develops, and this can lead to symptoms like low body temperature, bloating, and seizures.

It was also common advice to offer bottles of cool boiled water on hot days. While a nice cool drink of water for a hot sticky baby may sound reasonable, giving bottles of water to babies whether breast or formula fed can pose

According to physicians at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore, “even when they’re very tiny, babies have an intact thirst reflex or a drive to drink,” Dr. Jennifer Anders,

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

a pediatric emergency physician at the center, told Reuters Health. “When they have that thirst and they want to drink, the fluid they need to drink more of is their breast milk or formula.” Because babies’ kidneys aren’t yet mature, giving them too much water causes their bodies to release sodium along with excess water, Anders said. Losing sodium can affect brain activity, so early symptoms of water intoxication can include irritability, drowsiness and other mental changes. Other symptoms include low body temperature (generally 97 degrees or less), puffiness or swelling in the face, and seizures. “It’s a sneaky kind of a condition,” Anders said. Early symptoms are subtle, so seizures may be the first symptom a parent notices. But if a child gets prompt medical attention, the seizures will probably not have lasting consequences, she added CAR SEAT SAFETY Back in the day, (60’s and 70’s) there were no car seat regulations or safety standards – there weren’t even any proper car seats in the 70’s. Babies were popped into a Moses basket on the floor between the front and back seat – or at best, on the back seat with a safety netting harness over the Moses basket to stop the baby being flung out in an accident or sudden braking event. Of course, grandparents will be aware of car seats now but if they are going to be driving

your baby or child anywhere, you will need to educate them on current regulations and how to choose and use an appropriate car seat or capsule and that there are fitting stations to ensure car seats are safely installed. If grandparents are regular carers, it would be helpful to buy a car seat for the grandparents’ car so you can have peace of mind that your little one will be safely transported. COMMUNICATING WITH GRANDPARENTS Consider, just as you are climbing the steep learning curve of being a new parent, grandparents are also growing into their new role. Grandma may be genuinely trying to make things easier by sharing her hard-earned knowledge or she may simply want to be more involved with her grandchild. When considering advice about your child, safety has to be your highest priority, however, it’s important to communicate respectfully because encouraging positive family relationships, especially between your child and their grandparents is also important. Please try and remember, grandparents did the best they could with the information available to them when they were new parents. Find common ground: Ultimately, the issue here is not who ‘wins’, but encouraging a positive relationship between your child and their grandparents. Because your relationship with your child’s grandparents will be an ongoing one, it is important to try and find some common ground. Try asking for Grandma’s opinion on a fairly neutral topic or invite her to be more involved and give her positive

The Koru Study SEEKING PREGNANT WOMEN to take part in a study measuring body composition changes during pregnancy & early infancy

If you are between 11-16 WEEKS of pregnancy we would love to hear from you

For more information

visit: https://www.thekorustudy.com/ If you are interested in joining this study, please contact Ciara Phone: (06) 951 6366 Text: (021) 1 605 805 Email: thekorustudy@massey.ac.nz This project has been reviewed and approved by the Health & Disability Ethics Committee: 19/CEN/47

18 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

feedback. For instance, ‘would you like to give him his bath?’ Or, ‘he loves it when you take him to feed the ducks.” Stay calm: If you are confronted by unwanted advice, no matter how well-meaning, you can either tell her honestly, but politely, that you feel undermined by her advice or you can simply stay calm: take a deep breath and respond, “this works well for us,” or (baby’s name) feels happy when we…. (whatever you are doing that she is advising against). Another option is to thank Grandma for her tips and say, enthusiastically, “I’ll remember that,” then choose what information suits you and your little one and discard the rest. Share new information: You might like to share some up to date information with your mother or mother-in-law -in-law by commenting enthusiastically about a new book you have discovered or perhaps some written information or research that reinforces what you are doing. It will work better to do this proactively before she bombards you with out of date information, so she isn’t put in a situation where she feels defensive. Maintain a united front: if your partner starts to side with their mother against you, it is only natural that you want to cut the apron strings between them – with a very sharp pair of scissors! However, the best advice is to remain calm: enlist your partner’s support by telling them how you feel without becoming angry or putting them in a situation that makes

them feel they must ‘choose’ between you and their mother. It can be difficult to stand up to your parents, but if you and your partner can agree on what really matters and you can support each other, you are more likely to succeed in setting boundaries. Sit down together and make a list of what bothers you about each other’s families and decide which issues are worth standing firm on. What you feed your baby or how you choose to discipline your child may be priorities that you won’t compromise, for instance. But if your mother-in-law wants to iron your husband’s shirts ‘properly’ or complains about how you mow the lawns (or don’t), perhaps you could let this one go, or share it as a mother-in-law joke. After all you, your partner, and child(ren) are a family now, and it is time to establish your own values and traditions. Pinky McKay is Australia’s most recognised and respected breastfeeding and gentle parenting advocate. She’s an IBCLC lactation consultant, best selling baby care author and mum of five. Pinky had babies in the seventies, eighties and 1 in the nineties! She now has 4 precious grand babies.

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BIRTH STORY

HELLO BABY MICAH In some ways, it is a wonder we got pregnant. It was our first year of marriage and several unexpected events occurred in the family that left us no time for any sort of carry-on that would lead to a pregnancy! We feel our baby must have been very determined to join our family right from the beginning. I loved being pregnant. In my first trimester, I was one of those women other people envy; I didn’t have a hint of morning sickness. Apart from being tired, which I feel at the end of every school year, I felt amazing. My husband and I felt very ready to start a family and being a good mum is my career goal, so I embraced my changing body and set about preparing for the family chapter of our life together. I grew quickly; I even had a colleague ask me if we were having triplets, as I was ‘huge’. Our LMC thought I might like Preggie Yoga, so before Christmas, I joined the ladies at Zing and found this to be great. It was helpful being there with other mums-to-be and doing something tailormade for our pregnant bodies. Our LMC also suggested I read ‘Tummy Talk’, a publication produced by Active Birth Taranaki. Reading the birth stories in there was really empowering and it was good to read them early on; it meant

that for most of my pregnancy I really believed I could be strong enough for the birth of our baby. The week before we were due back at school (26 weeks), we had a bit of an event when I lost my mucus plug. Apart from thinking it was pretty disgusting, even that was drama-free and gave me an excuse to lie low for a couple of days. Term One seems like a blur now. I took ‘Princess days’ on the last four Wednesdays which gave me a chance to catch up on sleep, do marking and stay in the right headspace to deal with classes full of teenagers. Most people during this time thought I was so big I would not last until my due date; this baby was surely about here. It was at this time I started acupuncture with the lovely Annie Warrington. Not only did she give me labour-preparation treatment, we also managed to turn our baby into a good position. For some reason, I was scared about going beyond my due date. I had heard numerous horror stories and had also started to believe people’s (unfounded) opinion that this baby would be a wee bit early. Everyone I knew had gone on or before their due date, so I would certainly be no different. Well, my due date came and went. I continued to receive induction acupuncture, do lots of walking, and even tried a couple of the old wives’ tales; still no baby. I had three ‘stretch and sweeps’ and felt encouraged at every one as I was dilating nicely (thanks to the acupuncture) and always had a show afterward, but still no baby. My mum arrived for her planned visit (that we thought would be when we were settled back at home with our new baby) and we began to learn about induction. At 42 weeks, I consented to an induction. We decided to have Mum there as well and we prepared for a long day. I received a tiny bit of gel in the morning and waddled around the hospital for a bit and started to feel strangely tired and increasingly sore. We decided it was nothing; I didn’t feel

20 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

Jodie and Scott Allpress

sore enough to think it was ‘it’.

push!

We headed back after I grew more physically tired and tired of the looks we were getting as we walked around. Back in the delivery suite, I felt quite ill and vomited (the first time in the whole pregnancy) and thought that it might be the start of something. The pains were not regular, however, so we continued to hang out, my husband boring us by reading aloud a Rugby rulebook.

I found things changed a lot at this point. The pain went and was just replaced with the strongest of urges to push. Between those contractions, I was able to feel rested, to talk, to eat a segment of orange, and to even have the odd laugh. I tried a few positions but ended up on my back, something I never thought I would do. (Nick was glad the position that involved him taking my weight only lasted a couple of contractions). Our baby was slow to descend which made me feel a bit despondent; I was trying so hard and there was still no baby. It became clear that people (strangers included) were right in telling me I was carrying a big baby. The registrar was called in again as there was a concern of shoulder dystocia, and they wondered if I might need a ventouse delivery. Everyone was confident our baby could be born normally, so I received a wee pep talk from our LMC. She ended up giving me an episiotomy, as my perineum was not thinning. (Never thought I’d be using ‘my’ and ‘perineum’ in the same sentence!)

Our LMC and her student came back after lunch and attempted to break my waters. This was quite uncomfortable and a registrar was called as the membranes were quite thick. I remember thinking at this point that it was little wonder our baby couldn’t break through! After they were broken, things progressed. It hurt A LOT and I kind of told myself to tough it out, as I figured I had about ten hours of this ahead, it being our first time. I had thought I would be quite active during the birth, but I was attached to a monitor, so was pretty much on the bed. To be honest, I was so tired I probably couldn’t have done much moving anyway. Nick, Mum, and the student midwife gave me acupressure during the contractions, which made me feel quite centred. (This makes it sound like it was lovely, but it still bloody hurt!) I focused on my Yoga breathing too, which was good. At about 6pm I had had it. I said to Nick that I didn’t think I could do it anymore; it was just too sore. This worried me as I still knew I had a long time to go. I voiced my concerns to our LMC, who said she would examine me and then we might talk about using some gas. I remember saying that was fine, but I didn’t want to take anything too early. She never got to examine me, as I suddenly got the urge to

Seven minutes later, something was placed on my chest and for some silly reason it took me a few moments to realise it was our baby. It also took us a while to have a look and see what we had had; a beautiful boy who we named Micah Charlie Reid. I hadn’t realised how many people were in the room, but I remember being aware that there were about eight staff members! After birthing the placenta, I had a big bleed so Micah was quickly taken off me and a couple of people started ‘massaging’ my tummy (again, this sounds lovely but wasn’t). I remember not really caring about any of that and just being awestruck that we had a baby. We were parents!

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

(Nick would tell this story differently; he said all I did was burp, spit, bleed and look like an oompaloompa as I pushed. Just as well he kept those thoughts to himself at the time!) It took a long time to ‘clean up’. Getting the bleeding under control hurt, as did the ‘embroidery’. I was surprised this hurt and I was surprised that even though it was over, it wasn’t over. Everyone could tell he was a big boy, but we were in no hurry to weigh him. Some of the staff members stayed around to hear his weight and we were all surprised to learn Micah was 10lbs! No wonder it hurt! I am so glad I didn’t know he was so big; I would never have been able to push him out! Up in the Maternity ward, having said goodbye to Mum and Nick, I had a long night. I kept staring in disbelief at Micah. I had flashes of the birth in my mind, which made me a little scared; I felt quite weak and vulnerable and couldn’t quite reconcile that I had had the strength to birth Micah. I am so amazed the female body can go through such trauma and recover! The first ten days were so hard and are somewhat of a sleepless, teary, yet amazing blur. Our LMC remained our tower of strength and encouragement and I was lucky to have the Yoga mums on call too; nothing like being told your worries are quite normal and not a reflection of being a bad parent. We just love being Micah’s Mummy and Daddy. Micah has only strengthened my relationship with Nick and at times I sit looking at my

gorgeous boy and feel so smug; we are so clever to have made something so beautiful! Quote for early on in the article perhaps: At times I sit looking at my gorgeous boy and feel so smug; we are so clever to have made something so beautiful!

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HEALTH AND WELLBEING

PREGNANCY NAUSEA AND VOMITING By Helena Slako

DipHerbMed, NBNatMed, MNZAMH

Morning sickness is wrongly named. Nausea and vomiting do not just occur just in the morning, but at any stage day or night. Instead it should be called “pregnancy sickness”. ‘Pregnancy sickness’ affects most pregnant women at some stage or another, often at its worst in the first trimester. This is nothing new, I hear you say, “we know that!” Sometimes nausea and vomiting can be quite severe extending beyond the first trimester, far into the second and at times the entire pregnancy. This condition is called ’Hyperemesis’. Hyper means over/above; emesis is the medical term for nausea/vomiting. Pregnant women affected in this way are often hospitalised, and placed on a drip to maintain fluids.

So what causes nausea and vomiting during pregnancy?

Often there is more than one reason nausea occurs. A combination of several factors can contribute to form an overall larger picture of health, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Progesterone, the hormone responsible for maintaining a pregnancy, increases rapidly once conception occurs which is quite normal. However, the body is not used to such high levels, so it can take a while to adjust or stabilise. Circulating oestrogens within blood and tissues after conception may cause problems too, by stimulating an increase in progesterone production to counteract oestrogens. This can create an imbalance of hormones increasing nausea. The most important factor in pregnancy sickness is blood sugar fluctuations. This may be caused by not eating often or eating enough. Blood glucose levels drop causing hypoglycaemia: hypo means less/under. Glycaemia is the medical term for glucose. Blood glucose levels usually are at the lowest around 3am onwards. On waking it is often then that nausea and vomiting is at its worst. This gives rise to the term “morning sickness”. With some women, fluctuating blood sugars continue throughout daytime, hitting another low before dinner. This may be compounded by poor stomach acid production or digestive problems, further reducing the ability to process foods. Liver function is very important as it is the body’s manufacturing plant, processing foods we eat and ensuring removal of unwanted waste. The liver also stores glucose. When the liver dysfunctions,

food is not processed properly providing less available nutrition. Unwanted substances continue to circulate, which may cause toxicity, increasing nausea. A lack of stored glucose may compound the hypoglycaemia scenario. Nutritional deficiencies can also be a problem. Oral contraceptive use prior to pregnancy or insufficient diet can cause nutritional deficiencies of vitamin B6, zinc, vitamin K, and EFA omega 3/6.

So what can you do?

Try eating little and often. This supports digestion and reduces liver and stomach overload, while supporting stable blood glucose levels. Quality protein before bedtime can maintain glucose levels throughout the night. Dry crackers eaten before rising can reduce nausea and vomiting in the morning. Quality supplementation of vitamin B6 at 25mg per day. High vitamin B6 foods include: Brewers Yeast, sunflower seeds, legumes, walnuts, whole grains, fruits, green leafy vegetables (spinach, silver beet), organ meats (liver, kidneys etc), eggs, wheat germ, prunes, avocado, garlic and nuts. Quality zinc supplementation of 8-11mgs per day. High zinc foods include: seafood, pumpkin seeds, liver, red meats, eggs, nuts, beans, whole grains and brewers yeast. Quality EFA fish oils at 3000mgs daily Vitamin K can be increased by ensuring good healthy bacteria in the bowel. Supplementing quality bowel flora or acidophilus yogurt with the herb slippery elm powder can help to increase flora and vitamin K production.

Herbs can be helpful!

Many herbs are not to be taken during pregnancy; however some are safe and may relieve symptoms. Ginger root: is the best herb for nausea and vomiting. Grate ½ teaspoons of root per cup boiling water, infuse 10 minutes and sip regularly. Other options: ginger powder, ginger tablets, crystallised ginger, or ginger beer (last 2 contain sugar). Peppermint tea: reduces mild nausea and supports digestion Chamomile tea: for mild nausea, increases/ supports digestion, calms and supports sleep. Lemon balm tea: for mild nausea and increasing digestion. ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

DAD’S LIFE

DADS, HERE ARE 12 THINGS EVERY NEW MUM WANTS YOU TO KNOW (WITHOUT HAVING TO TELL YOU) By Pinky McKay Congratulations on becoming a dad. It’s exciting and exhilarating but it’s also exhausting and it can be damn confusing too, as you not only get to know your new little baby but you find yourself trying to figure out how to support your partner who seems to have turned into a completely different woman. She is exhausted from giving birth, flooded with hormones that make her cry whichever way you look at her and she seems so overwhelmed with love for your baby, you wonder if she even needs you anymore. If you are expecting a baby or you have a newborn, here are some things every new mum wants her partner to know (even if she hasn’t realized it yet.)

the bank/repair man/my mother?” She doesn’t care. She is tired (even though it looks like she has done nothing except sit in a chair and cuddle the baby – who now seems perfectly calm because she has sat in the chair and cuddled and fed and burped him all damn day). Give her a kiss and a cuddle and ask her what you can do to help (see also, tell her you love her) Or, even better, make her a drink, get her some food and offer to hold the baby or take him for a walk while she enjoys a HOT cuppa or a shower. Tomorrow night, bring dinner home with you – she may have had a better day but she will love you even more for caring.

1) TAKE A BABYMOON

Sleep deprivation is a bitch – you will be tired too but she needs rest to recover from growing, birthing and making milk for your baby. Rest now will see her recover and have more energy to enjoy being a mother – and more energy for having fun (and sex) with you, much sooner. Take your baby after the early morning feed and let your partner sleep in or take baby for a walk in a carrier (see, wear your baby) or pram in the evening or on weekends and send her to bed. Every hour of sleep is precious and will help her be a more patient mum and partner.

Just like a honeymoon is about getting to know each other away from the distraction and stresses of every day life, a baby moon is a time for getting to know your baby and adjusting to becoming a family. Take as much time off as you can and please don’t plan renovations. Of course you will be so proud of your new baby that you will want to show him off to all your friends and family. Please stop right there! it’s important to limit visitors in the early days as your partner is recovering from birth and learning to breastfeed. She will be exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable. She’s also sore, self-conscious and overwhelmed. If she is struggling with breastfeeding, call the Australian Breastfeeding Association, get an IBCLC lactation consultant to come to your home or take your partner to a breastfeeding clinic (your maternity hospital may have one). Your support is the single biggest factor in her breastfeeding success. Remember, the more rest and privacy your partner has now, the quicker she will recover and develop confidence Good friends will understand you asking them to give your new family some space. And, If you want to ‘wet the baby’s head’ with your friends, please do this before your partner comes home from hospital – she doesn’t need a hung-over partner slumped on the couch when she has been up all night with a newborn (newborns don’t get day and night sorted for weeks).

2) GIVE HER A BREAK

When you come home from work and the house is a mess and your partner is still in her pyjamas, in the chair you left her in with the baby, don’t ask her what she has done today and don’t give her advice. She doesn’t want to hear, “you could have got dressed while he was asleep (he didn’t damn well sleep. That’s why she’s still sitting in the chair in her pyjamas!).” And don’t dare ask “did you call

3) PUT HER TO BED

4) DO TELL HER YOU LOVE HER. A LOT.

Tell her she’s beautiful. Thank her for your beautiful baby. It’s hard to feel beautiful and lovable when you are covered in milk and vomit and can barely find time for a shower or clean clothes because you are so busy sitting in a chair holding and feeding and burping your baby all day. And if your partner is being a complete b**** to you doesn’t mean she doesn’t love or need you. Remember, she is exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable, it’s normal for her to be emotional or teary. But do keep an eye on things, and support her to get help if she needs it – one in five women will develop postnatal depression. This is an illness. It is treatable, the sooner the better. If you are worried, call PANDA or Beyond Blue or go with her to your GP.

5) WEAR YOUR BABY

Have a carrier ready before your baby is born. Beware though, a man wearing a baby becomes a ‘chick magnet’ (mostly to little old ladies) when he is out on his own with the baby. Suck up the attention but take the advice with a pinch of salt – and don’t suggest any of it to your partner. She will be receiving so much advice from others, she doesn’t need any more noise in her head – unless its so bloody ridiculous it will make her laugh.

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6) YOU’RE NOT “HELPING OUT” YOUR PARTNER.

You’re parenting! Family, friends and complete strangers will coo over every thing you do (see, wearing your baby). That is lovely, because parenthood is a huge adjustment for both of you, but please remember to point out to everyone how wonderful your partner is too, and all the things they’re doing right –mothers tend to get taken for granted or even criticized for how they do things.

7) TAKE HER SIDE – EVEN (OR ESPECIALLY) AGAINST YOUR OWN MOTHER

Always take your partner’s side, no matter what your mother and friends say. When people ask you, “is he a good baby?” remember the next question will be “does he sleep all night?” This is none of their business (are they offering to do an overnighter or have they come with casseroles?). Be polite but throw them off at the pass with the first question: Tell them, no he’s a bad baby, he’s already robbing banks/getting a tattoo/ we are putting him on Ebay next week. With luck, they will forget to ask, ’how is he sleeping?” And you just might get away without hearing about the ‘bad habits’ you are creating. If you are making different choices to your family and friends, read up, take classes, be informed, so you can defend your choices as a team (remember, your partner is exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable).

8) JUST DO IT!

If you’re not comfortable doing something, like dressing or bathing your baby for fear you might do it ‘wrong’ or hurt the baby, just do it anyway. The more you try, the easier it will be, And, when you are going out, get yourself ready then help get the baby ready while your partner gets herself ready. If you don’t want it all to end up in tears (hers) or having to wait while she feeds the baby. Again! pitch in and help get everyone out the door. “Stepping up’ and being a team player right from the start is an investment in your relationship with your baby and your partner relationship.

9) DON’T MENTION THE MESS. EVER.

There will be mess – baby stuff, washing (how can one tiny person create so much washing?), all the gear you haven’t unpacked from hospital, dying flowers and all the gifts people give you for babies that you haven’t put away yet. Pick up after yourself (and her) and don’t make a fuss. She doesn’t want to hear that you popped on a load of washing – really? You found the laundry detergent and pressed the buttons all by yourself? Now go and hang it out, it doesn’t matter that its night time and it won’t dry now. It could be lunchtime or later (see, sitting in the chair all day feeding and burping and cuddling) before she gets to hanging it out tomorrow and it won’t dry then either but if it’s out now, it could just catch some sunlight tomorrow and she can bring

it in when she gets a break. If you work long hours or feel overwhelmed too, organize for someone to help- hire a cleaner or ask grandparents for help.

10) TELL HER SHE’S DOING A GREAT JOB – EVERY DAY.

Be specific so she believes you. Tell her, “I love the way you…..” Or “I love watching you…….” (fill in the gaps ). She will get loads of advice but hardly anybody tells a new mum she’s doing a great job. And there’s not much positive feedback from a newborn – they can’t even smile yet! Remember, she’s exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable – she needs her tank filled to help her make it through the tough stuff.

11.)TAKE PHOTOS OF MUM AND BABY

You will no doubt be taking photos of every little grimace your baby makes and every cute little outfit you dress him in. You will take photos with visitors, photos with relatives but so often, it is the mother who is taking most of the photos. Then, down the track, months later (or when your child looks through his photo album), you realize there are very few mum and baby pics. Get photos of mum and baby and of you both together with your baby – when these moments are gone, they are gone.

12) HANG IN THERE

Babies cry. Babies cry – did I say that, already? Often you won’t have a clue why they are crying. Neither will she. So don’t ask, “what is wrong with him?” Remember she’s exhausted hormonal and vulnerable so she might take this as criticism. Instead, say, “how can I help?” You will both work things out as you go and it will get easier. For now, encourage your lady to trust her instincts – she knows your baby best. You are the voice of common sense (but tread carefully, you can’t ‘fix’ a baby). If you aren’t sure what to do, filter advice by asking, is it safe? Is it respectful? Does it feel right? Remember, you have got this. You are going to be an awesome dad!

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

SEASONAL FEATURE

WINTER-TIME BLUES... GONE! By Jessica Ensing Winter is the season of shorter days, but if you’re stuck indoors with bored kids the days can start to seem much longer! With outdoors out of the question many days due to cold and rain, it can be hard to find suitable indoor substitutions for things that would usually happen on the deck or on the lawn or at a playground. Here’s some of our favourite inside activities to keep the fun going all year long!

M E SS F R E E P A I NT I N G

Painting is an outdoor activity in our house. Somehow the paint always seems to end up everywhere, and on everything my children touch for h o u r s a f t e r w a r d s . To r e c r e a t e s o m e of the joy of painting whilst still protecting our carpet during winter, we’ve turned to ziploc bags (you could probably use an old Kai Carrier designated for the purpose for a more eco friendly alternative). There are a few different ways to do it - you can put the paint (or paints) in a dollop on a piece of paper and slide that into the bag, you can put paint straight into the bag for them to push around and draw in, or (the favourite in our house at the moment) you can put two colours of paint in and let them mix them together. The key thing is to make sure you seal the bag before giving it to your child! If your little one is particularly adventurous or likely to try to open the bag you can duct tape it to a board or table top so at least you’ll hear a warning right before it gets opened up. And beware of your child trying to use pens or other potentially sharp objects on the bags as this can cause leaks!

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JUMPING

It can be harder to ensure your energiser bunnies get enough movement to burn off all those wiggles in the winter months. But instead of staring longingly at the trampoline as it gets pelted with rain, why not set up some jumping activities inside? If bouncing on the bed or diving onto the clean washing pile doesn’t fly in your household, there’s still plenty of ways to get t h o s e l i t t l e o n e s l e a p i n g ! Tr y s e t t i n g up an obstacle course of boxes to jump over, or cutting shapes out of cardboard or fabric for your kids to jump onto (this can be a fun way to practice shape recognition). Another classic way to get more jumping into your day is to use masking tape or chalk to mark out an obstacle course of sorts on the floor - you can do hopscotch, or make zigzags and spirals to bounce around, or any number of things.

foam that will sit on top of the water. Bath bombs, either homemade or store bought, are another fun way to extend water play. A favourite water activity in our house is where you add black food colouring to the water until murky (it takes surprisingly little!) and then you put small toys that will sink into the bath and the kids get to grope around in the dark water trying to find everything. It’s the world’s wettest treasure hunt! As you can see there’s plenty of ways to have fun indoors over winter. And if all else fails and you can’t stand being inside any longer...chuck on your raincoat and head out to splash in some puddles!

W AT E R P L AY

Probably the truest parenting adage is this - if they’re crabby, put them in water! The pools can be a good option during winter, especially as under fives are free, as is one supervising adult for up to two under five year olds (thanks Palmerston North City Council!). But if, like me, you’d prefer to have water play in the comfort of your own space, there’s still plenty of ways to bring renewed excitement to taking a dip. Baths are awesome for water play, but if you don’t have one a flexitub put in the shower will often do a good job too! My two tend to get on each other’s nerves sharing a bath so we’ve also just put two flexitubs in the bathtub so they each had their own space. Bubble bath is always a winner for adding some extra fun to bath time. If you’re feeling extra inspired, a squirt of dishwashing liquid, a little bit of water, and some food colouring can be beaten with an electric hand mixer to create awesome coloured ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

PRODUCT REVIEW

ECO-FRIENDLY KITCHEN By Erin Evis

Stainless Steel Sipper Bot tle

EcoTanka stainless steel bottles are great for kids, if you’re after something that’s durable, reusable, and isn’t plastic. We initially purchased these to avoid the chemicals that can leach out of plastic (stainless steel is more or less inert), and several years and two kids later it turned out they’re also excellent for toddlers, as they can be dropped, thrown, bashed and smashed and while they may wind up with a few dents, they’re more or less indestructible and last forever. The only downsides we’ve found are that the plastic tops can become a little drippy on the sip-top lids if gnawed on by tiny teeth enough to ruin the seal, though other tops are available, and that the water can take on a slightly metallic taste if left in the bottle for a long-enough period of time. Having said that, the kids have never complained and it doesn’t tend to happen with normal use in our household, i.e. water sent along to kindy for a few hours. All in all, these are a great alternative to plastic bottles (even the BPA-free ones have other plasticising chemicals some may wish to avoid).

Stainless Steel Drinking Straws

As most parents have discove r e d , i f you give a child a straw, they wil l d r i nk pretty much anything. Straws m a k e life fun! However, plastic singl e - u s e drinking straws are also an incr e d i b l y annoying pollutant, many of w hi c h end up in the ocean. I’ll never f o r g e t watching footage of a beautif u l s e a turtle who had a straw stuck in it s no s e , getting it removed by a pair of v e t s . I t was this video that was the catal y s t f o r me investing in a set of stainless s t e e l straws. These are hands-down o ne o f the best investments I’ve made i n o u r kitchen! The kids love them, they c o m e with a teeny cleaning brush tha t f i t s them perfectly to ensure any b i t s o f smoothie or yoghurt are hygie ni c a l l y removed, and they’re dishw a s he r safe. We have CaliWoods brand s t r a w s , though many are now availab l e , i n a variety of sizes - some bent, s o m e straight, some fat, some thin. I k e e p one in my handbag to use when w e ’ r e out, and we use them over and o v e r throughout the day. They’re also l ov e l y to drink through and seem to k e e p things cooler (pop them in the f r i d g e or freezer for extra cooling pote nt i a l ! ) .

28 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

Kai Carrier

I want to love these, I really do! And I love the concept. Kai Carriers are a great way to avoid the use of single-use plastic snaplock bags or plastic cling wrap, as a reusable, washable, dishwasher-safe food storage option. They come in a variety of sizes and shapes, some with snaplock tops for snacks or ice blocks, and others with spouts and lids for soups, smoothies and liquids. They offer options for virtually any food item you could think of, and while made of plastic, they are BPA free and last a fair while. They’re certainly popular and many people love them - I just struggle to get them clean, even with the brush they provide, particularly in the corners where the seal is fairly tight, and in the lids. For this reason, I just can’t seem to get into them properly, though I have tried numerous times. I still use them for dry snacks and foods that don’t have any potential for leaky liquids, but for anything that may ooze into corners I prefer using other storage options that are easier to clean - the potential for bugs to grow makes me leery of these otherwise awesome pouches.

Beeswax Food Wraps

I have a variety of these wraps from a number of suppliers, but all are essentially the same concept and product - a pretty fabric square or rectangle of varying sizes, coated with beeswax to provide a waterproof barrier to wrap your food in. These are the ultimate alternative to plastic wrap, as they’re reusable, washable (just don’t use too-hot water and melt the wax!), and last for months before needing to be recoated or thrown away. The heat of your hand moulds the wrap so it sticks in the same way cling film does, so while they feel thicker and more ‘cardboard’, they’re actually easy to use for virtually any food. They look great and are fun for lunchboxes - just be careful if you suffer beeswax or bee product allergies.

As part of the Kind Hearts Movement

d n i K ea ts H

has bestowed a random act of kindness upon

Tabitha and Tristan Kennedy You will each receive a free coffee voucher! Don’t forget to pay it forward! Streetwise Coffee Cart, Rangitikei Street, Palmerston North

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

CRAFT

LEAF CRAF T As leaves are already (heavily) falling from the trees, we thought it would be fun to get crafty with them and make this leaf hedgehogs craft. Crafting with nature materials is fun and crafting with leaves is twice as great, as you can take this opportunity to teach the kids about different kinds of leaves.

LEAF HEDGEHOGS:

LEAF LADYBUG WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

• roundish leaves • red color • brush (we love sponge brushes for this project) • black permanent marker • googly eyes

WHAT YOU’LL NEED:

This craft is super easy but there is one thing that you should make sure – the leaves should be as dry as possible as they will curl if they are not. You can put them between sheets of paper and weigh them down with a book to get them to dry without becoming wavy.

First make sure your leaves are really dry as they will wrinkle afterwards if they are not.

Once your leaves are ready to go, color them with red color. Let dry. Once they are dry, draw a straight line through the middle and a half circle on one end. Color in the half circle. Now draw 7 black dots.

• leaves (beech, elm, birch or anything similar) • black marker • glue • white paper

Draw the hedgehog spikes and head details on the leaf and glue it down on the white paper (stick glue and white glue are both great choices for this craft). Draw the little legs. All done!

Finish off with a pair of googly eyes! While this leaf ladybug craft looks the cutest in red you can make them in many more colors as these cute bugs come in yellow, orange, white, black and more!

Sourced from: www.easypeasyandfun.com 30 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

FAMILY FRIENDLY OUTING

KIDS ZONE AT TE MANAWA By Jessica Ensing If you’re wanting to get your children out of the house this winter but aren’t wanting to brave being outdoors, Te Manawa’s recently revamped Kid’s Zone is the place to be!

So next time you’re looking to do something out of the house, especially if it’s rainy, why not give Te Manawa’s children’s area a go?

The classic favourite for my kids is the construction zone! With a wall full of removable foam bricks, and a playing area spread across two levels to make use of the crank controlled brick conveyor belt and the crane, this area has provided many hours of fun for our family! The play kitchen is another familiar favourite, although it’s been modernised in the renovations and now includes a play induction cooktop (complete with lights, but no heat) and a fake window showing a cow in a field! The two new additions, the Westpac Rescue helicopter and the electric car, have been thoroughly enjoyed by our family. We have an electric car at home so the kids particularly enjoy getting to reenact processes they see us do such as plugging it in to charge. The car also features removable wheels, which my 4yo loves to take off and roll around the facility. I’m not sure if it’s the height or some other factor but my two haven’t spent much time in the helicopter. They do enjoy crawling through the tunnels underneath it, and from what I’ve seen it looks exciting, with an instrument panel inside that includes a button to make the propeller go! Last time we were there my youngest took an interest in the reading corner. It’s been streamlined in the makeover, now a cosy nook with many comfortable bean bags. We were delighted by the array of books available to read, including many in Te Reo Māori! The reading area also houses the entrance to the secret passage! My two are not keen so I’ve only been up there once. I won’t tell you what’s there...it is a secret, after all!

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUPS Across Te Kotahitanga O Te Wairua We can provide a range of social services which include: Counselling, Family support (including respite care for children), Parenting advice/information and programmes, Advice on other services available for parents and families. Contact: Graeme on (06) 356 7486 or visit www.across.org.nz Allergy New Zealand Support groups are a great way to meet others in a similar situation to you. They are very relaxed, informal sessions to share ideas, discuss your concerns, and get information and resources. Our regional support group is there to help put you in contact with others, to provide you with information such as those all important recipes, and to listen when you need someone to talk to. They are not medically qualified but can refer your queries on and seek information on your behalf. For further information phone 0800 34 0800 or visit www.allergy.org.nz Babywearers Manawatu This is a great way to try different carriers while finding a carrier that suits you and your baby. Babywearers Manawatu Sling Library is on most Wednesdays 12 pm - 1 pm (check FB for up to date info) at Palmerston North Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave Street, Palmerston North. Membership is one off payment of $10 and carrier hire costs $5 for one week.https://www.facebook.com/groups/ babywearersmanawatu/ Brain Injury Association Central Districts We provide advocacy information and support for people with brain injury, their families, whanau and carers. For more information call (06) 354 3540. Breastfeeding Help An IBCLC (often called lactation consultant) is a breastfeeding specialist qualified to prevent, recognise, and resolve breastfeeding problems. All members of NZCLA hold the professional qualification of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Any mother, family member or health professional interested in obtaining the contact details of an IBCLC can phone 0800 4 LACTATION (0800 452 282) during daytime hours. HOPE An opportunity for parents of premature babies to meet and chat and to offer hope and support to those who currently have babies in the Neo-Natal Unit. Graduates welcome. Held at: Plunket Family Centre, 42 Albert Street, Palmerston North. Monday 1pm – 2.30pm. Contact: Karlyn Sullivan-Jones (06) 353 0663 or karlynandmark@xnet.co.nz Itchy Kids A national support group for parents and whanau who care for children with eczema and allergies. For more information contact Sarah Hartley 027 333 7385 or email hartleyfamilynz@gmail.com or visit itchykids.org.nz Manawatu Toy Library Now located at 200 Church Street, Palmerston North, this fabulous toy library has a collection of over 2000 toys. Our members include families, carers, and educational groups. We have toys suitable for babies 5+ months through to school age children. Membership costs $95 per annum or $60 for six months. You are welcome to visit to see what we offer. To find out more, including opening hours: manawatutoylibrary.nz, or call 027 364 6911. Manawatu Down Syndrome Association Regional contact is Andrea Wales (06) 356 1767. Manawatu Home Birth Association Offering information, advice and support to women and their families seeking to birth their babies at home. Birth pools and other equipment available for hire. Library, sibling kits, and bimonthly

newsletters also available. Call (06) 356 BABY (06 356 2229) for more information. Manline Manline services are unique in that we are the only “men helping men” organisation in the Manawatu and Tararua region offering services for men to explore issues within their lives. Our programs are designed to be educational, developmental, rehabilitative, and preventative. http://www.manline.co.nz/home or 06 358 1211 Miscarriage Support Miscarriage can be a very lonely experience and is often not talked about. Miscarriage support groups have produced quality information and pamphlets for women/couples who may need information and support. These invaluable resources can be downloaded from miscarriage.org.nz Methodist Social Services Offering free programmes for primary/intermediate aged children and their parents/caregivers, around the areas of anger management, grief loss and change, and confidence building. We also offer family, couple, and individual counselling, and have both male and female counsellors available. Advocacy and social work support services are provided along with an emergency food service. For all enquiries, please call 06 350 0307, 663 Main Street, Palmerston North. Palmerston North Breastfeeding support group We provide a relaxed place to come and ask questions about breastfeeding and parenting , we hold regular meeting on the first Monday of the month at Palmy Parents Centre, Ruahine St, 10am. We have a library with a wide range of books relating to breastfeeding and parenting. http://www.lalecheleague. org.nz/palmerston-north or https://www.facebook.com/ PNbreastfeedingsupport/ Parent to Parent Supporting families of children with a special need, health impairment, or disability. For more information please phone (06) 355 0787or email manawatu@parent2parent.org.nz Parentline 24 Hour Crisis Line. Offering help and support for parents 24 hours a day. Phone 0800 4 FAMILY. Plunket Education Services For parent education classes please contact the Plunket family centre in Albert Street, Palmerston North, (06) 356 7248 for more information regarding classes in 2016. Reflux Support Contact: Sharon 354 7280 Sands A voluntary group who have lost babies before, during or after birth. They can provide first hand support, guidance, and information on miscarriage, stillbirth, or newborn death. Further information and support can be found by contacting Shaun and Gaylene Vivian (06) 356 9715 or visiting sands.org.nz Supergrans Manawatu Charitable Trust Supergrans Manawatu is all about helping people help themselves. A service to all to brush up on the basic skills needed to provide for oneself or for a family. Our motto is not a ‘do it for you today’ it is a ‘help you to do it tomorrow’ concept. This is a free service. It is concerned with encouraging better skills in those everyday tasks around the home that sustain life. We work with you in your own home. Phone (06) 354 3804 or 021 0669 442 for further information.

32 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

MEMBER DISCOUNTS Want to see your advert here? Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

FREE! Address labels with any birth announcement, thank you cards

GRANT IRVINE PHARMACY

10% OFF

Ground Floor, TSB Building 12-19, Fitzherbert Ave, Palmerston North

168 Albert Street, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 8782

10% off for all massages over $40 to PC members

Want to see your advert here? Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

FREE TEA OR COFFEE

06 358 8549

Receive a free tea or coffee with the purchase of food. 95 the Square, Palmerston North

HAIR TRANSFORMER

15% OFF Discounted, low ratio childcare – For 30 hours WAIVED weekly admin & placement fees

Want to see your advert here? Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

Link Arcade, Broadway Avenue Palmerston North Ph: 06 358 1309

Want to see your advert here? Contact palmyparent@hotmail.com

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

PLAYGROUPS IN YOUR AREA Plunket Family Centre Playgroup

ASHHURST

Ashhurst Playcentre

AWAPUNI/WESTEND

Kingston St Chapel Palmy Playgroup

CENTRAL

42 Albert Street

021-808-340

Mondays & Fridays 10am to 12noon

118 Standford Street

326 9270

Mon to Thurs 9am - 12pm

Kingston St 358 0716 Tues & Thurs 9am- 11:30am Awapuni Community Centre, 22 Newbury St Tues & Fri 9.30am to 11.30am Facebook: Palmy Playgroup Please bring your own morning tea and a donation of $2 per child.

Crossroads Early Childhood Salvation Army Rudolf Steiner Seventh Day Adventist Church Playgroup with Hope

220 Church St 358 0669 cnr Church & Princess Sts 358 7455 187 Ruahine St 354 4514 257 Ferguson St 282 Cuba Street (opposite Briscoes) Contact: Heather 027 334 9981

Mon to Fri 9am to 12noon Thurs 9:30am to 11am Tues 9:30am - 12noon & Thu 2pm -3:30pm Wed 9:30 to 11:00am Tuesday 9.30-11.30am playgroup@hopevineyard.nz

FEILDING Feilding Playcentre Community Fielding Playcentre Doodlebugs SPACE Bright Sparks Preschool Programme

254A Kimbolton Rd 42 North St Knox Hall, North St 22 Bowen St Feilding Library

323 6100 323 1918 323 7240 323 7221 323 5373

Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Mon to Fri 9am to 1pm Thurs 9am to 11:30am Contact for more details Wed 10:30am to 11:30am

12-32 Brentwood Ave

358 2255

Fri 8:30am to 12noon

339 Albert St Huia St extn

357 9411 357 0791

Wed 9:30am to 10:30am Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri 9am - 12noon

HIGHBURY

Te Aroha Noa Community Services

HOKOWHITU

St Albans Church Park Road Playcentre

LINTON

Linton Playgroup

MILSON

Milson Playcentre

OPIKI

Opiki Playgroup

ROSLYN/KELVIN GROVE

Kelvin Grove Salvation Army Church on Vogel Plunket Roslyn Over 1’s Coffee Group

Linton Camp (Community Centre) 3519970

Mon & Wed 9am to 11:30am

1a Seaforth Ave

Mon, Wed & Fri 9am-12noon

356 9824

St Andrews Church, Main Road

Tues 10am to 12noon

99-103 Kaimanawa St 127 Vogel St 177 Vogel Street

Wed 9:30am to 11:30am Wed 9:30am to 12noon Wednesdays 9.30am to 11am

353 0917 357 7336 021-808-340

RONGOTEA

Te Kawau Playcentre Medway St 324 8246

SANSON

Sanson Playcentre

TERRACE END

St David‘s Presbyterian Church Terrace End Playcentre

Mon to Thurs 9:15am to 12:15pm, Fri 11:45am to 2:45pm

2 Philipps St

329 3503

Tues and Fri 9am to 12noon

Cnr Main & Rainforth 77 Ruamahanga Cres

358 3246 0221400610

Tues 10:00am to 11:30am Wed, Thu, Fri 9.30am to 12.30 school term

SPECIALIST GROUPS

La Leche League 355 3104 Manawatu Multiple Birth Club Kingston St Church 357 9773 Parent 2 Parent Special Needs Matipo St 355 0787 ABCD early intervention group 9 Woburn Place 0800 693 724 - Down Syndrome French for Preschoolers 1st floor, 47 the Square 021 207 0114 Spanish Class – 2 yrs and up 355 8257 Plunket Bhutanese Playgroup 25 Franklin Ave 3574844 Book Bubs baby book club PN Library

34 PALMY PARENT . PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

Contact for more details Every 2nd Wed,10am 1st and 3rd Tues each month, 1-3pm Once a month on Thurs 10am to 12noon Fri 3.30pm to 4.30pm Contact for further details Mon 12.30 – 2.30pm Thursday 10.30 – 11 am fortnightly.

ISSUE 301 . June | July 2021

Parents CENTRE IN-STORE & ONLINE

Day

PalmyParent301 June July 2021

Articles inside

Community support groups

Playgroups in your area

Family Friendly Outing: Kids Zone at Te Manawa

Dad’s Life: 12 things every new mum wants you to know

Craft: Leaf Craft

Kind Hearts, Streetwise Coffee

Product Review: Eco-Friendly Kitchen

Winter-time blues... gone

Editor’s note

Grandparents Doing It Differently

Birth Story: Hello baby Micah

The Hair Company styling treatment

Cottage Flowers Arrangement

Whāngai Ora Milk Bank

Pregnancy Nausea and Vomiting

What’s On