One Pattaya
Fun Town’s most vibrant
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16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2 www.pattayaone.net
VISA OVERSTAY issue causes confusion
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The Chong Mek border crossing from Thailand into Laos outside Ubon Ratchathani
Starts page 4
UK Foreign Office confirm tougher policy By Staff Writers and at some point have amended their travel advisory based on advice received from senior Thai sources. The British Foreign Office travel advisory reads as follows: If you stay in Thailand for longer than the time authorised on your arrival, and you do not have an extension of stay or a valid visa, then this is an offence under Thai Immigration law. You will be fined 500 baht per day for every day you overstay, excluding the first day, up to a
inside this issue...
% Opening a Thai bank account % Beer bellies explained % Travel Thailand (Sungai Golok) % Tharang Food >
The cover story in the first edition of Pattaya One (published 1 October this year), which noted a tougher line being taken by Immigration officials with foreigners who had overstayed their visas by 42 days or more, created quite a stir, and not a little confusion. A simple reading of the travel advisory posted on the website of the British Foreign Office confirms our version. British embassy officials, as all major foreign missions do, have close connections within Thai government circles
turn to page 2
02 Pattaya One
16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Fun Town’s most vibrant
UK Foreign Office confirm tougher policy
From page one
maximum of 20,000 baht. Any foreigner found by the authorities to have overstayed their visa is also at risk of being held in detention, fined and deported at their own expense. The Thai authorities have stated they will always enforce detention of overstays for more than 42 days. As with many stories of this nature, the information Pattaya One presented was quickly taken out of context and turned into something other than the sum of its parts. While the sub-heading read ‘jail time for foreigners’, there appears to have been an assumption the ‘jail time’ meant people with overstays of 42 days or more were going to find themselves before a court where they would then be sentenced to a long stay (months or even a couple of years) behind bars in a correctional facility. This is incorrect. The only overstaying foreigners who can spend up to the maximum of two years inside the Immigration Detention Centre (IDC) in Bangkok are those who simply don’t have the money to pay the fine and purchase an air ticket in order to leave. They are arrested, spend a night or two behind bars, face court, are fined and then sent to the IDC. In most cases where an overstayer has the 20,000 baht fine and
money to purchase an air ticket they can be held for as little as two days banged up behind a securely locked door. In Pattaya, if one has sufficient funds it is possible to avoid the IDC and instead merely spend a couple of nights in a cell, pay the fine imposed by the court and then arrange to be taken directly to the airport and leave the country. The jails of Thailand are already filled to the gunwales and the last thing they need is a steady stream of more foreigners, who have the cash to get out, clogging up the facilities. With a change at the top of the Immigration ladder, the new broom had allegedly decided to really start sweeping a murky floor, and issued instructions to start detaining people. This simply meant there was a greater chance of long-term overstayers (that is, 42 days or more) being detained and held in jail cells until formalities were sorted to the satisfaction of the authorities. Pattaya One is aware of two British nationals who overstayed beyond the 42 days limit and were subsequently detained. Both of these cases occurred in the past six weeks or so. One of these men managed to get away with just two days in holding cells before being able to leave the country. While two days might not sound a very
504 The number of road deaths per million of population according to the Department of Highways, Thailand in 2005. This compares to 145 road fatalities per million in Italy (OECD Factbook, 2007 edition) and 90 in the United States. Anyone who has driven on the roads in Thailand for any length of time will probably have no quibble with these figures. Little old ladies off to play lawn bowls on a Sunday morning and men who drive Volvos with their hats on appear to be fairly safe from harm for some inexplicable reason. 6 hours, the amount of time you have to reunite a severed penis with the rest of your body in order for surgery to be effective. Of course, most people would suggest making sure your house is free of sharp knives or any implement that could be used to sever your member in the first place. It’s doubtful if there is anything less erotic than putting your severed member into a plastic bag full of ice prior to making a dash for the nearest hospital and a competent surgeon. 70 The percentage number of women with the sexual transmitted disease known as
long time, we at Pattaya One doubt there are many readers who fancy spending 48-hours or more languishing in a typically overcrowded, hot and humid Thai prison cell where room service tends to leave a lot to be desired. Anyone who bothered to read the story closely would have realised we were at pains to make it clear that Immigration officials are not mindless automatons and in extenuating circumstances it is possible for people to avoid spending any time at all behind bars. What the authorities are particularly aiming at are those people who have intentionally overstayed their visas and believe they can simply waltz through the formalities of paying a fine without consequence. Equally, at no point did Pattaya One ever claim there had been a change in the law or the penalties had become harsher. The law remains as originally enshrined in legislation. Section 81 of the 1979 Immigration Act states quite clearly that any foreigner who stays in Thailand, ‘without permission or with permission expired or revoked shall be punished with imprisonment not exceeding two years or a fine not exceeding 20,000 Baht or both.’ One completely erroneous piece posted by another Pattaya publica-
7943 By the 8621 NUMBERS This sign, in the southern province of Satun, is meant to encourage people to drive with more care
tion claimed an unnamed senior Immigration officer said foreigners could overstay for up to one year without risk of arrest. Perhaps the Immigration officer is blissfully unaware of his own laws. Other publications around the country sought advice from local Immigration officials, who stated there had been no change in enforcement of the relevant laws. Even the Australian mission in Thailand has indicated it does not intend to upgrade its travel advice, stating foreigners on overstay are still being allowed to leave Suvarnabhumi airport after paying fines. They did not indicate whether the overstayers had exceeded the 42-day limit. It is hardly likely that senior officers in the Thai Immigration Department are going to allow the English-language media to be privy to their internal workings. Equally, it may well be that in some jurisdictions the overstay law is not being enforced to its full extent as requested by the head office in Bangkok. Once again, this may well be because the situation precludes the need for detention, or simply because this is Thailand and the left hand is willing to get down and dirty while the right hand plays with itself. Of the huge number of tourists who come to Thailand and the large community of expats who live here, a very small percentage overstay a valid visa for any extended length of time. The majority of tourists and expats adhere to their visa regulations and never have to worry about being arrested and detained for breaking Thai law.
Chlamydia but who do not exhibit any symptoms. (According to an article published by Reuters and printed in the My Life supplement of the Bangkok Post 19 August 2010) 100 The percentage chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease from someone who classifies themselves as a ‘swinger’ compared to a prostitute. (According to an article published by Reuters and printed in the My Life supplement of the Bangkok Post 19 August 2010) Obviously, it doesn’t mean you can’t get a case of galloping knob rot from a lady who makes her living lying on her back, it’s just noteworthy that the perception of a prostitute being unclean compared to her non-working sisters is incorrect. 10,000 The estimated number of females under the age of 15 in Thailand who fall pregnant each year (according to the Department of Health). This is out of an estimated 800,000 pregnancies each year. Not sure how many arrests of penetrating offenders are carried out by the plod in an effort to stop this kind of statistic appearing in a publication such as this.
16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Of Offal and Condoms There are some excellent threads on Pattaya’s web boards, and I will constantly be going back to the best of them to search for rare flashes of Shavian wit, genius, wisdom or otherwise. In these straightened times, I have been scouring for moneysaving tips, which led me to two topics, “Top Cheap Charlie Tips” and “The things people do in Thailand to save money” on Thai Visa. The former frequently descends into a general (and unfair) slagging off Soi Buakhao, which, at least on the web boards, is seen as a soapdodging, benefit-claimant, no-money, wife beater-wearing paradise. Ignoring the irony that some people are swapping tips to save money so they can better-afford to buy as much booze as possible, these threads turned out to be hilarious, sometimes deliberately, sometimes accidentally. Some tips seem to literally scrape the bottom of the dustbin. One bargain-basement poster, G54, suggested saving plastic, glass and cardboard from your household rubbish, then selling them to the person who comes scavenging through your bins at night. At least that was better than Loz’s suggestion that people should drink their own pee.
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ABOVE BAWD
IN PATTAYA
By JOHN THOMAS our Internet Forum Snoop I preferred instead the suggestion by Hanno to use the free water dispensers found in banks. (presumably filling an eight-litre bottle each day - with free water not urine). Continuing the lavatorial theme, I will definitely give a miss to Loz’s cheap charlie suggestions of using both sides of the toilet paper, or collecting, drying out and reusing used toilet paper found in the bins next to many public toilets; until I start living on Soi Buakhao. Curiously nobody mentioned using their hands, Thai style, which would save on bog paper completely, but increase soap usage – I hope. I worry that PattayaParent’s suggestion to ‘only take a dump when you’re out at a bar’ could lead to a ‘run’ on lavatories in cheap charlie bars around the town. Another one from Loz might work - or get you beaten or killed. Try it and let me know:“Sit down at a restaurant table where there is a
Pattaya Bay was the scene of a tragedy in early October when an Iranian tourist was killed by a man speeding on a jet-ski. Due to the potential for this kind of accident to occur, City Hall established a series of cordoned areas to provide safe swimming sections for beachgoers. This photograph shows the bay area looking south where a marked swimming area can be seen. It appears the tourist who was killed was unfortunately not swimming in a designated safe area.
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party of 4 or more adult Thais eating, and help yourself to their food. Smile and, as they talk, nod your head and frequently use the phrase, “uuhh” with varied tones to indicate agreement, amusement, seriousness or otherwise. Then leave before the bill comes. But be sure to say the food was arroy maak!” A similar bright idea from Naam, who suggested “train your dog to steal food from your neighbours’ dogs, and kill a cat once in a while”. One poster, Syd Barrett, said he saves 1,000 baht a month by buying wholesale and drinking 22 cases of large bottles of beer, or 266 bottles a month. Later the same poster advocated the use of offal, as cheap and nutritious food: “Everything can be found here, tripe, intestines, pig’s feet, sweetbreads, pig’s snouts, kidney, liver,
brains, everything. I bought a delicious pigs cheek for 20 baht that was good for three hearty meals.” Soundman argued that the Thai labelling on this offal probably read: “Pet Food only - Not fit for human consumption”. Another, Basjke, thought it might read: “Isaan food”. Still, offal is probably easier to swallow than this next suggestion from Jingthing: “Condoms are expensive. Remove before climax. Then you can reuse!” Only made worse by Basil B’s suggestion to instead use Cling Film: “it’s cheaper”. But doublewrap it, presumably. Sillyman99 was definitely not living up to his board name with his tactical suggestion, which I’m sure many have employed before: “ If you’re heading out to the bars, knock out 2 or 3 w*nks first. The girls won’t look so good and you’ll not bother to take one, hence you save money”. And finally, in a brilliant post to bring the discussion of offal and condoms to a sweaty climax, Pattayaparent offered the helpful observation that: “the first use of a condom was a sheep’s bladder and was invented by a Welshman. But it was an Englishman who had the idea to take the bladder out of the sheep first.” All comments or Web Board tipoffs gratefully received at jt@pattayaone.net
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16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Pete’s Peregrinations Beach Furniture
Peter Lloyd
I’m ‘Ard Me After a night and early morning on Walking Street a friend and I usually buy some food in Marine Plaza where we enjoy observing late night life in all its forms, funneling out of Walking Street. Last week we saw a very hirsute and unpleasant-looking Arab guy (not pictured) come to eat with a barfined ladyboy in tow. He ordered food for himself, sat down on the only available chair, ignoring the ladyboy to the extent that we at first couldn’t tell they were together. He lit a cigarette, then bizarrely threw his cigarette lighter into Pratamnak Road, before looking at the ladyboy with an aggressive stare, indicating with a head gesture for the ladyboy to go and pick it up and bring it back to him, like a dog, which said ladyboy did without even a grimace. It had me wondering what sort of pathetic mind games some of these
Burger Me – Where it all Happens idiots think they are playing here. Was this He-Man (literally), embarrassed and trying to prove a point about his own masculinity by asserting his (paid for) domination over a ladyboy, or did he think the person he was mistreating really was a woman, and this is how he
treats women in his own culture, or just here, in which case his misogynistic tendencies were woefully misplaced on this occasion. We couldn’t tell, but we hoped the ladyboy slipped him a Rohipnol later and made off with all his possessions.
English As What Thailand’s Navy It Was Wrote Sails to Somalia My wife recently bought a book in order to learn better English (note to self: something I should do as well). Her spoken English is excellent but she wants to improve her written English. She told me one of the model answers in the book reads: “The shopkeeper _________ his staff to go home early” and offered multiple choice answers, including “let” and “allowed”. The book said the correct answer was “let”! Of course it took some considerable persuading for her to believe I was right and the book could possibly be wrong. Such an error is not a great recommendation for a book intended to help Thais improve their English, either because it is a genuine grammatical mistake, or a stupid typographical error that, ironically, nobody proofreading this book about better English had picked up, which had me wondering what else they had missed. She also recently showed me one of her old university textbooks, which had, as an example of how to use the passive and active tenses in English, the following excellent, but politically loaded example: “Ayuthaya was destroyed by the Burmese”!
When I first read recent news reports about the Thai navy arriving off Somalia to join in the war on Somalian sea piracy, given the business nature of a lot of law enforcement in Thailand, I had to carefully check to see which side they’d be on. Reassured, I then wondered how they’d deal with a hijack situation, perhaps seeing ship seizure as the result of a simple ‘misunderstanding’ and instead of engagement they would seek to ‘explain the true nature of the situation, so the pirates would better understand their confusion and mistake over this complicated issue’. Alternatively, to bring some welcome Thai problemsolving logic to this tricky international arena, they may try to promote the pirates. The Thai navy’s involvement in this international operation might herald a “sea change” in the Thai government’s policy of global engagement, or it might be a reflection on the fact that so many Thai nationals have been captured by pirates off the Somalian coast. Contact me at peter@pattayaone.net
I am still waiting to see whether the new lifeguards’ stations recently erected on Pattaya and Jomtien beaches are really part of a very welcome, well-thought-out lifeguard programme to protect beachgoers and swimmers, or only yet another unnecessary, ill-thought-out, badly-constructed, unsightly and unnecessary mess dumped on the beach for nobody’s benefit other than those directly involved. Actually that’s very unfair. They have already conferred a valuable benefit - as a homeless shelter to rough sleepers on the beach, and no doubt those randy Russkies will soon be using them as nocturnal nookie nests ‘come’ high season. Even if they are part of a wellthought-out but unannounced programme of lifeguarding Pattaya’s beaches I have two basic questions. 1. Did it occur to anyone involved in this mental venture that METAL constructions will be unbearably hot in the high season? I mean, this isn’t Northern Europe. These erections should have been made out of wood or bamboo, if they were a serious attempt at housing lifeguards, that is. And note that the fixed seat is also metal. Imagine how hot that would be to sit on all day, in a baking hot metal box. You’d need paramedics on permanent standby just to administer to the arse-blistered and heat-struck lifeguards. 2. Who is going to bear responsibility for the maintenance of these metal structures, as they rust and rot on the sand for the next 20 years, as all these “initiatives” seem to?
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16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Fun Town’s most vibrant
Pattaya One 05
Living Healthy in Pattaya By Khun Dee If you have a beer belly and you haven’t lifted anything heavier than a Heineken since you’ve been in Pattaya, take a minute to consider your future on that bar stool. Better yet, think about getting off your bum and onto a treadmill. Just twice a week will help reduce that ‘beer belly’ and increase your longevity. But if you continue feeding that girth in an otherwise sedentary existence you will be a prime candidate for: - Heart disease - Diabetes - Metabolic Syndrome - Stroke - High blood pressure - Gall bladder problems - Colorectal cancer - Fatty liver Those are only some of the risks faced by men whose waistline is 94 cm (37’) and climbing. Hundreds of studies have concluded that any excess fat can be problematic, warns Dr Jeffrey Flier, researcher at the prestigious Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. ‘But,’ he adds, ‘it’s much, much more dangerous when it’s accumulated in the abdomen.’ If such threats are not enough motivation, consider this: A new US study of more than 700 adults indicates a link between beer bellies and Alzheimer’s disease. ‘We have all heard how a beer belly can be bad for our heart, but this study suggests carrying excess abdominal weight could also increase your risk of getting dementia,’ says Dr
Busting the Beer Belly Myth Susanne Sorensen, head of research at the Alzheimer’s Society.
Getting it off What can be done to trim a beer belly? The most obvious answer is stop drinking beer. But, interestingly, beer may not be the problem. In fact, there is no evidence that the ‘misnomered’ bulge is caused by drinking beer. Only one study has been done on the subject and it concluded that those who think ‘people are obese because they drink too much beer’ are wrong. And a leading authority on alcohol and health at the Harvard School of Public Health, Dr. Meir Stampfe, contends that ‘though it’s often called a “beer belly,” beer does not promote weight or waist gain any more than any other source of calories.’ So even if you stop drinking beer altogether you probably will maintain your impressive girth if you consume more calories than your body burns. And if you’re over 35, you’re burning fewer calories than in the past because the aging process has slowed down your metabo-
lism. Furthermore, according to a Swiss study reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, alcohol in the blood stream can slow down fat metabolism more than 30 percent. Want an easy way to eliminate that beer belly? There is none. It takes commitment and hard work. Your best approach is a multipronged attack: consume fewer calories (including beer), eat a healthy diet, and get active. Aerobic exercise is your best ally. Run, walk, swim, bike, play sports—nearly anything that builds up a sweat. Augment such fat-burning exercise with strength training, but start slowly and give your muscles a day or two of rest between sessions. Also, there’s no way to spot-reduce a beer belly.
Sexy Man But don’t be discouraged. One group of men took only 15 weeks of twice-a-week workouts--no dieting, no cardio--to trim their belly fat and add lean muscle. Both are desirable results if you’re trying to improve your overall health (not to mention button your jeans). The workouts
Opening a Bank Account in Thailand By Duncan Stearn
Years ago it was easy to open an account, even if you only had a tourist visa. Pretty much since the Asian Financial Crisis of 1997-1998, it has been more difficult. Many people claim all that is needed to open a bank account is a passport, and some money of course. Others suggest a letter is needed from your embassy. Still others claim a valid work permit, or, at the very least, a non-immigrant B or O visa is needed. A Thai driving licence and a dumb grin may help. Thankfully, Thailand has a choice of major banks for foreigners to attempt to open a bank account. Ayudhaya, Bangkok, Kasikorn, Krung Thai, Siam Commercial, Thai Military, and United Overseas (UOB) are the main seven.
There is a general feeling that whatever the policy may be of the head office of any of the above banks, the implementation of the said policy is variable and is at the sole discretion of the branch manager. It all depends on whether the manager of the branch you approach is amenable to foreigners, whether you come into the branch dressed like the town alcoholic or as a budding politician, whether it is approaching lunch time and he is thinking about a bowl of noodles instead of the current money market rate, and so it goes. First, do not try and open an account at some little branch outlet, say in Carrefour or Tukcom. There may be people reading this who will suggest otherwise, but I would think a trip to a proper branch of-
consisted basically of strength training--squats, curls, and bench presses. Now, if you were to add a daily routine of aerobics or just fast walking for one hour, plus a sensible diet, you would be well on your way to deserving the soubriquet ‘sexy man.’
fice should be the first port of call. Second, try and time your attempt either on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. These days tend to be a little less busy in many branches and staff aren’t necessarily thinking of what they did on the previous weekend or thinking about what they plan to do on the following weekend. Third, and concomitant with the above, try and make your move around mid-morning, somewhere between 10:00 and 11:30am or in the mid afternoon, between 2:00 and 3:00pm. The bank is less likely to be busy and therefore staff will have the time to at least listen to you before you are rejected. Finally, do not try and open an account while dressed for the beach or after having drunk 16 glasses of
Not all beer bellies look quite so ridiculous, or attract so much female interest Chang draught for breakfast. You don’t need to be in a suit, but at least dress neatly and cleanly. And don’t forget to smile, a lot. Since most major banks have a number of branches spread throughout Pattaya and Jomtien you can try those nearest to you first and work out from there. If UOB in Naklua rejects you, and you’d really like an account with them, try the branch in south Pattaya. If Bangkok Bank in Central Pattaya knocks you back, you can try the branch in south Pattaya. As noted above, your chances of opening an account are based on the branch manager’s assessment and today’s feng shui. The absolute minimum requirement to open any account is a valid passport and 200 baht. Opening an account with, say, 5,000 or more baht, is likely to be viewed with more favour, for obvious reasons. Just remember, no matter what day, time or planetary alignment you select as your day to open a bank account, This Is Thailand (TIT) where logic and reasoned argument are not a natural resource.
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16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Pattaya Focus on ...... How to Build a Road (Part 2)
By Tar Mack
This feature will help anyone who is planning to build a road. Properly. This article continues from the last edition, where we gave some helpful hints for those needing to know how to build a road properly. Before we discuss the road surface, we found an interesting note about roads in the UK which some, in this corner of the world, some might find instructive – or ridiculous: http://www.highways.gov.uk/ roads/12716.aspx. I thought it was garbage. It contains rubbish such as a list of matters to be addressed before the road gets built, including: • • •
Public consultation with local communities Considering the effect of the road on the environment Holding a Public enquiry
And the biggest laugh of all: • Acquiring land needed to build the road, before you start to build it. What’s wrong with doing it the Pattaya way? Look at the success of Thappraya Road for instance. Anyway, let’s assume you heeded the advice in our last column, and
Unbridled Optimism
A Motorcycle Repairer’s Dream
A High Quality Road Surface your road project is progressing well. What next? The obvious answer is that for an expensive, important road, the right materials must be used so that it can withstand traffic, wet weather, and wear and tear. This is so obvious you might wonder why I am telling you, but some fail to specify, supervise or care about the quality of their roads, even though they are a hugely expensive item. If you don’t put down enough supporting material before you lay the surface of the road, you are in big trouble right away. The road will very quickly become damaged from even normal use. But if you compound that mistake with another one, and only lay a final road surface having little more substance than weak glue mixed with cardboard, applied to a micro-thinness with a fish knife, you will see problems occurring immediately.
If these elementary mistakes are made on important, busy roads, which form the lifeblood of towns such as, I don’t know, say, Jomtien, and Pattaya for example, within months of ‘completion’ of the road surface, you will find yourself with potholes and a dirt track full of stones. The examples shown here have recently been filled in, but serve to exemplify the pitfalls of poor construction. The problems appeared within months of completion of the road surface, and got worse until it became a potholed dirt track in places, before being filled in with sub-par tarmacadam, which is already working itself loose. For your road, be sure to use good quality materials and apply them thickly enough, otherwise you will waste even more of your money and time in repairing it constantly, only months after the road has been completed.
An Off-Roader’s Joy
A Shock Absorber Seller’s Delight
Next Edition: Adequate Drainage and Road Obstructions.
Upcoming events 11 November (Thursday) The Royal British Legion, Thailand Branch, will be holding their first Service of Remembrance in the grounds of St Nikolaus Church on Sukhumvit Road (heading north, just past the lights at Central Pattaya Rd), starting at 10:50 am. Contact Bert to arrange seating at bert@tropicalberts.com or drop in to Tropical Bert’s, Second Road near Soi 6/1. The service will be open to all nationalities and all faiths and
will be short and simple. Wreaths will be laid by a number of groups inside the church. Outside the church will be a Garden of Remembrance where people may place a small wooden cross with the name of a loved one they may have lost. You do not need to have been a member of the British military to join the Legion. Formed in 2007, they hold gatherings every Sunday at Tropical Bert’s from 2:00pm onwards.
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16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Fun Town’s most vibrant
Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh Part 1 I am not a travel writer, nor do I wish to become one, but I do believe in sharing one’s travel experiences. It’s a great way to save other people time and money should they want to experience the wonderful places this world still has to offer. The Internet is awash with travel sites, tips and blogs from people who have ‘been there done that’, but some are contradictory and others leave you wondering whether the writer has a vested interest in the destination he/she promotes. Sad to say, I have no financial interest in anything, so I’ll recount my latest trip to Vietnam with two friends. Our target was the town of Vinh, about 290 kilometres south of Hanoi and located 20 kilometres from the sea in the narrowest part of Vietnam. The reason was to visit my son who is teaching English at a school there. Now, before you start looking at a map to find Vinh, let me just say that unless you also have someone in that city you specifically want to visit, there is no reason to go there. As one Vietnamese gentleman replied when we told him where we were heading; “Vinh? Why? There is nothing there!” See, I have already saved you money.
The first trick was to obtain the Vietnam visas and, here again, I can save you time and money. Travel agents in Pattaya are charging around 4,000 baht (approx. US$133) for the service. Doing it yourself requires two trips to the Vietnamese Embassy in Bangkok and US$45 for the single entry 30-day tourist visa. But there is another way. At the website visa-vietnam.org you can apply for a visa pre-approval letter for a cost of US$20. The three of us applied together and the cost came down to US$18 each. A confirmation letter is then sent to your e-mail address with all the details you provided, enabling you to check the information and change anything if needed. Within two working days you will be e-mailed your ‘Pre Approval Letter’ which you print out and take with you. This is only good for arriving in Vietnam by air at Hanoi, Saigon or Da Nang and no such service currently exists for land border crossings. Upon arrival at one of those airports, head to ‘Visa on Arrival’, show the letter, pay a further US$25 and the visa is placed into your passport. And the system works. We arrived
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at Hanoi after the 80-minute flight and all went smoothly. Interestingly, the taxi trip from Pattaya to the airport took the same amount of time as the flight. Hanoi airport is 45 minutes’ drive north of the city so the next trick was to get into town. We chose the taxi service which operates a US$15 flat fee for transport into the city and told the driver to take us directly to the train station. Upon arrival, he demanded US$18 which, after some argument, we paid. He kept saying his was a “bigger car”. I mentally abused him for the next two days, until I read an official tourist brochure stating that a four-seater taxi is US$15 but a larger six-seater vehicle (the one we had taken) was, in fact, US$18. Sorry mate. As you may have guessed, our plan was to take the train to Vinh, a journey taking five and a half hours. I had read up on the Vietnamese rail system and most comments indicated it was efficient, comfortable and cheap. I had even organised our flight to coordinate with the departure of the ‘best’ train to Saigon. The pictures of this train on the Internet were magnificent – shades of the Orient Express, but at a fraction of the cost. The only snag was that we could not pre-book our tickets and the train fills up quickly on the day of departure.
Pattaya One 11 Sure enough, the fourberth cabins I had been hoping for were sold out. Instead we took the soft, reclining seats which would suffice for our relatively short trip. At 142,000 Vietnamese Dong (225 Baht) they weren’t expensive and we purchased three tickets. “You are kidding me!” That was my statement when I first saw the train on the platform. Those Internet photos must be 20 years old because this vehicle looked more like a cattle train than the Orient Express. But it was too late; we had made our bed and now we had to lie in it. The seats were worn and torn but they did recline, as long as you didn’t mind garrotting the person seated behind you when, fully reclined, the top of your seat plunged into his neck. The train departed right on time and the rocking and rolling along the narrow-gauge line for the next five and a half hours was not that unpleasant. We arrived at Vinh only five minutes late and caught a metered taxi to a nearby hotel which is one of the best in the city. Our discounted rate (my son had already done the booking and negotiating) of 300,000 dong (470 baht) per night was vreasonable. Most hotels in Vietnam include breakfast in their room charge, the quality of which varies greatly. This hotel put on a large Vietnamese buffet and we had no complaints in that department. Vinh is a big country town and the population rise early. Peak hour is between 6:00am and 7:00am. In the middle of the day the streets are deserted as the country folk avoid the heat. They appear firm believers in the tenet that only “mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun”. (Ironically, that phrase comes from a Noel Coward (1899-1973) song entitled “Mad dogs and Englishmen”, supposedly composed while Mr. Coward was driving from Hanoi to Saigon.) Next issue, I’ll have more observations from Vinh followed by tales of our return to Hanoi and exploits therein, including some do’s and don’ts for the unwary. … to be continued.
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Fun Town’s most vibrant
16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Pattaya: One Rainbow A Thai in Africa Glad To Be Gay Remember those heady days of the 1970’s? It wasn’t just the freaky hairstyles and platform shoes or glam rock and disco that made them so memorable. Liberal laws were being passed hither and thither. TV soaps and sitcoms started to introduce sympathetic gay characters. Tom Robinson had a surprise, number one, UK hit single with ‘Glad to be Gay’. After eons under the dark clouds of criminalisation and prejudice, gay people were looking forward to the bright, sunlit uplands of freedom and equality. Then came a devastating disease called, ‘Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome’, which was followed by a vicious rightwing backlash. All the wonderful progress that had been made went into reverse gear and the struggle for gay rights and gay acceptance had to begin anew. Only this time, it was against a backdrop where many of the most talented and gifted gays, able to carry the rainbow banner, were, quite literally, dropping like flies. The curse of AIDS has tainted Asia like no other continent and
By James Barnes
Thailand is no exception. Accurate figures are almost impossible to come by but it is accepted that new infection rates continue to rise, especially in young people, whether they are homosexual or not. The safer sex message is still not penetrating sexual behaviour.
Dr Phillippe Seur Gay Pride is now an international movement and the gay community has much of which to be proud. In this city, Pattaya Pride is amongst the biggest supporters of AIDS related charities, amongst which, Help Ensure Aids Rescue Together in Thailand (Heartt 2000) stands tall. Frenchman, Dr Philippe Seur
(email philippe.seur@gmail.com), founded Heartt more than a decade ago (www.heartt2000.org) and has been a tireless benefactor to thousands of HIV/AIDS sufferers ever since, battling stigma and ignorance as well as the disease on behalf of his patients, gay or not. Just a few weeks ago, the Bordeaux Restaurant in Soi Day Nighta block behind Tukcom, hosted a glittering charity dinner that raised a mouth watering 142,000 baht for Heartt 2000. Bruno’s restaurant contributed to the fine gourmet catering. The Venue supplied the Master of Ceremonies, Ray Dimond and a fabulous cabaret drawn from the famous Jomtien showbar, who entertained in their own inimitable high style. Gay and gay friendly businesses, as well as private citizens, donated prizes for a lucky draw. Thank you, Pattaya. The unfettered fun and generous giving was a marvel. It warmed the cockles. It made life with HIV and AIDS more bearable for thousands. It was just one more reason to sing, ‘glad to be gay.’
James Barnes is Editor of Thai Spice Magazine.
looking at you every day and wondering why she married a bloke who had to come all the way to Pattaya to get laid?
Kris & Noi’s
Private
Upstairs Downstairs
Do you have a question about customs or culture, or perhaps just a general comment on life in Thailand? Email Kris & Noi at: knprivateposts@gmail.com Romantic Lite I’m a regular visitor and usually take different girls each night. I keep phone numbers of some, but only because they gave me great sex; there aren’t any romantic feelings. A session ends, pay up and goodbye—no sweet talk, no overnights, no problems. I have no sympathy for stupid men who think girls who sell sex can make good wives, and then lose their money to them; they are scrubbers, they’ll never change. Just imagine looking at your wife each day and wondering how many men have had her! I’ll eventually marry a normal girl from my
country. Treat the sex scene just as a market with cheap meat available and you won’t have any problems. Running Wild Many of the punters are not exactly prime examples of western manhood, so when a pretty young girl treats them as if they were George Clooney, it’s very easy to forget that it was cash that spread the legs, not love. However, most men understand that the romance ends when the deal is completed. You are the other breed of punter who has no interest in a girl as a person, but merely as a neces-
In a special 62nd anniversary edition of the Bangkok Post that concentrated on 10 internationally recognised native Thai achievers,one of those featured was Dr. Krisana Kraisintu. The winner of the 2004 Global Scientific Award spends a lot of her time and much of her money working among the impoverished in Africa. She invented a drug called zidovudine that reduces the chances of pregnant HIV-positive females passing the virus onto their children. She also makes anti retro viral drugs including GPO Vir, a ‘cocktail’ that is not only cheaper than others on the market but only requires two pills per day instead of the more conventional six. This drug has helped over 100,000 patients in Thailand, Cambodia and a number of African countries.
sary accessory for a bunk-up. Fair enough, as long as you’re content and the girl collects her fee. You claim that the girls cannot alter their ways whereas you can one day throw away your box of durian-flavoured condoms and marry a “normal” girl. So a hooker will always be a hooker, but the man who uses her services can become a born-again virgin and live a regular married life! Of course it’s possible for some girls to change, and become good wives when given the opportunity with a decent man. And just imagine your wife, if you find one,
Why is it that Thais always seem to stand still on escalators or moving stairways? They seldom, if ever, walk up or down them. By walking I reach my destination sooner, but Thais just stand there, gazing at the back or head in front of them. My partner even suggested that there must be a sign in Thai, telling them not to walk—or perhaps they are just scared to move on them? Wynne Ger If there was a sign telling them not to walk, Thais would feel duty bound to ignore it, and everyone would be on the move, no doubt pushing and shoving too. Some Thais are not used to escalators and are hesitant when stepping on or off them. But it could be that they simply enjoy the benefit of getting somewhere without effort, and don’t feel the need to rush to gain a few extra seconds. Now, if you were to complain about how they block the escalator steps so that no one else can pass, then you would be on to a genuine whinge.
16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Fun Town’s most vibrant
THAI Lite
Introducing Tharang Food By S. Tsow
David Thompson is an Australian chef who runs a Michelin awardwinning Thai restaurant in London. Recently he caused a dust-up in Thailand by opening a new branch in Bangkok and announcing that he had come to save Thai cooking from “decaying.” This was written up in the New York Times and the International Herald Tribune, and stirred up a furor among Thai foodies. “He is slapping the faces of Thai people!” exclaimed one Thai food authority. “It’s like Osama bin Laden going to the Vatican and saying he is a high authority on Catholicism,” grumbled another. Thompson has done a great deal of research into traditional Thai food, is extremely well-qualified, and is dedicated to creating dishes that are as authentically Thai as possible. His restaurants have received a great deal of praise. But he’s missing a few things that show he’s just a tad out of sync with the way things work in Thailand. Thais like humility. When a foreigner comes barging in and boasts that he’s the Messiah who has come to rescue Thai cooking from perdition, they get understandably ruffled. Hey, it’s their food. Who is this foreigner to stick his large nose in and tell them how to cook it? Thompson may actually be a very modest person, but his announcement that he has come to save
Thai food from “decaying” sounds arrogant. It’s the appearance of arrogance that turns the Thais off. A little bowing and scraping would have won many hearts and minds. He might have said, “I am just a poor, ignorant farang who, like many of my kind, is deeply in love with Thailand. I am struggling to master the incredibly complex and beautiful intricacies of Thai cooking, which I respect, revere, and venerate to the point of adoration; and I humbly hope that my sincere but pitifully inadequate efforts may find acceptance among the Thai people, who are justly famed for their graciousness, magnanimity, and compassion toward unworthy foreigners like myself.” That would have brought the entire nation to its feet in wild applause. He could have taken his cue from a former Miss Thailand and Miss Universe, Porntip Nakhirunkanok, who was born in Bangkok but grew up in Los Angeles. Some Thais complained that she spoke Thai poorly and, because of her foreign upbringing, wasn’t really Thai. Porntip artfully defused the criticism by saying something like this: “Oh, I know I was brought up in Los Angeles and speak Thai poorly. But I am struggling to improve my command of the language, I love Thailand and the Thai people, and I feel Thai in my heart.” It was that last phrase that won
people over, and she was joyfully welcomed to the warm and capacious bosom of the Thai people. In fact, she was the toast of the nation right up to the very end of her reign as Miss Universe 1988. At that point, she made a fatal mistake. She revealed that she had a farang boyfriend. From that moment on, her stock plunged to zero. The Thais might have forgiven her for hiding a secret boyfriend all year long if he had been Thai. But a farang boyfriend? No way. They perceived her as deceitful and unpatriotic, and they dropped her like a hot potato. The Thais are a generous and good-hearted people who are easily charmed by a beautiful appearance and a slick line of patter: but once they find out you’ve tricked them, you’re dead. And justly so. Thompson has visited Thailand often, speaks and reads Thai, has a Thai boyfriend, and affectionately refers to his relocation to Bangkok as “coming home,” so you’d think he’d know the score. But his posh Bangkok restaurant charges 1,500 baht for a set menu. How many Thais are going to pay that much for a meal? Especially when they can get something very similar right out on the sidewalk for a fraction of the price. But maybe I’m the one who’s missing something. One of the things that motivates affluent, hi-so Thais—the high fliers, the movers and the shakers, the folks who used to light their cigars with 1000-baht notes—is the prospect of gaining great prestige, also known as “big face.” If Thompson can promote his restaurant as the only Thai restaurant in town with a farang chef (as-
Pattaya One 13 suming that’s true), that might be a novelty sufficient to draw in curious customers with fat wallets. Maybe. But I wouldn’t bet the ricefield on it. People might also decide to boycott the joint as an act of patriotism. Time will tell. The whole issue highlights a larger problem that affects Thai restaurants in the West. Thai food tends to be highly spiced. Westerners generally don’t like spicy food. Should a Thai restaurant in London or New York serve authentically spiced Thai food and watch the customers stay away in droves? Or should they serve a spiceless version that will pull the customers in? The customer is always right, the majority rules, and survival is the first law of nature, so obviously Thai restaurants in the West have to leave out the spices. Spiceless Thai food cannot really claim to be Thai, but we can easily solve that problem merely by changing the name. When the British took curry from India and adapted it to create a version more acceptable to their palates, they called it English curry. Since the Thai food served in the West is a combination of Thai and farang food, why not call it Tharang food? You could call it Thai-European, or Thai-American, or ThaiAustralian, or even just Thai-style— but “Tharang” is non-hyphenated and more concise. It not only makes a good name for Westernized Thai food, it would even make a good name for a restaurant. Or a rock band. Thai food lover S. Tsow can be flamed at s.tsow@ymail.com, except when he’s trying to put together a rock band called “Tharang.”
Page
13 Girl Club Oasis
may be away from the main drag, but it can usually be relied upon to have some nice eye candy
14 Pattaya One
Fun Town’s most vibrant
Postcard from Bangkok by Stickman Sukhumvit Street Walkers
Less than 24 hours after the Bangkok Post featured an exposé on Sukhumvit’s DVD vendors peddling the icky stuff, it was all gone, as were the coarse signs promoting it. Adult toys remain on sale in clear view. Nana Plaza is considered one Thailand’s national treasures by many visitors and the recently completed brickwork on the ground floor is being guarded by security around the clock with the sort of vigilance you’d expect from those guarding the crown jewels. Mark of Tony’s Bar fame is working on a new venue next to Melodies Bar in Sukhumvit soi 4. What was an internet cafe will soon be Soi Nana’s newest beer bar. Also in soi 4, Bus Stop has opened up. Gone is the brick wall front and diners now have a view out onto the lively soi. The Aussie-owned venue features decent Western food at very decent prices and perhaps the best sub-100 baht burger in town. The newest bar in Nana Plaza will be Club Bunnies which is due to open any day in the spot once home to Cathouse. Those on a budget are waiting nervously to see if the beer buffet promotion will be retained. A farewell party was held for Big Mango Bar manager Nigel who will be at the helm of the new venue. Word has it that Bunnies will feature coyote dancers. With major renovations being done on the Nailert Building - between Sukhumvit sois 3/1 and 5 – and danger of debris falling from the building, those who spend much of their day warmly greeting foreign visitors passing by have given streetwalking a new meaning,
and now occupy part of the inside lane on Bangkok’s most popular boulevard, Sukhumvit. Cynics say that local girls badmouthing their African sisters who patrol 25 metres further up Sukhumvit towards soi 3 are being petty, but perhaps there’s something in it. Local lasses warn of their African sisters and the dangers of being robbed, or worse. A mate failed to heed the warning and woke up less his wallet, gold chain and mobile phone. Over at Patpong, optimists say the area is transforming, while pessimists say it’s dying. A number of venues in Patpong soi 2 have closed their doors including the hostess lounge Executive Club, the once popular gogo Super Queen and the wonderful Café de Paris. For those venues that remain open, visitors have their pick of any seat in the house, so quiet is Bangkok’s oldest bar area. On the main Patpong soi efforts have been made to spruce up venues’ exteriors, with Kings Castle I, II and Camelot Castle all sporting a more modern look. The interiors could do with the same attention. The few venues in Patpong doing much trade are the cluster of bars at the Silom Road end of Patpong’s soi 2 including Bada Bing, Club Electric Blue, Black Pagoda and Spanky’s. Police checkpoints are becoming an increasingly common sight around Bangkok’s nightlife areas in the early hours. So too is the sight of Westerners turning out their pockets under the watchful gaze of the local constabulary who are searching for illicit substances.
Stickman runs a popular Bangkok site at www.StickmanBangkok.com
16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2 An eventful month: The Diamond go-go (Soi Diamond) will be celebrating its 11th anniversary with a party on Tuesday night 19 October. In what they obviously hope will be good month, the anniversary bash will be followed by a Full Moon party on Saturday night the 23rd, then a Lingerie Fashion Show on Wednesday 27th, which will feature a number of Bangkok models parading the kind of gear designed to be worn to bed, but not meant to remain in situ much past 30 seconds later, and end with a Halloween event on Sunday 31st. Diamond remains somewhat of an enigma in the go-go ranks in the sense that it has survived 11 years, prospering at times, while at others it has looked down in the mouth. Even now it can be as quiet as an undermanned mortuary one hour and be party central the next. One thing is for certain, that on each of the aforementioned nights the place will be busier than a Saturday night hooker in a one-horse town on payday at some point during the evening. The later in the night, the better the vibe Diamond seems to have, and when the place is in party mode there aren’t many better joints in town. A Saintly win, prayed for in Heaven: He had to wait 31 years to celebrate, but I’m sure Greg Clee, one of the driving forces behind the successful and popular Heaven Above go-go in Soi Diamond, did it in style after his rugby league team St George-Illawarra took out the Australian premiership in early October. Nicknamed the Dragons, Greg’s team was two points behind their rivals the Eastern Suburbs Roosters at half time but finished too strongly to win easily by 32-8, for the first time since 1979. I have no doubt Greg and his mates partied long and hard into the night after the deserved win. Guilt by association: While Walking Street easily dominates as the number one nightlife attraction for foreign visitors, Soi Buakhow (known by some wags for many years as ‘the English Patient’; after the movie of the same name) is probably the premier region for long-term expats and regular visitors. As Soi Diamond is to Walking Street so, arguably, is Soi LK Metro to Soi Buakhow. Carved out in a dogleg alongside Soi Buakhow and with an entrance off Soi Diana Inn, Soi LK Metro has an eclectic collection of booze-flogging establishments as well as sleeping palaces and nosheries. According to an email I received a day after the first edition of Pattaya One hit the streets, the business owners in the soi have created a Soi LK Metro Association, obviously to promote the area to locals and tourists alike. A great idea and I sincerely hope it works well, although I suspect mutual
Pattaya One 15
Fun Town’s most vibrant
N ghtmarch By Duncan Stearn jealousies, rivalries and the United Nations syndrome will hinder progress over the longer term. A new logo and LED screen signage is to be installed at both the Soi Buakhow and Soi Diana Inn entrances. A website is being created which is designed to provide information about the various businesses in the soi and offer special promotions. The soi already hosts the very successful Champagne go-go and the newer The Office and a third den of chrome pole molesters is set to open on the site of the former Blue Moon boozer. If the latter pair can achieve success, and with the very popular Club Oasis a mere wet g-string’s throw away in Soi Buakhow, then the area will attract even greater numbers of punters, especially those who like to look at ladies cavorting around chrome poles. No more Cardinal Sins: I don’t really think there are many people who would express surprise at the closure of the Club Sin City gogo in the Covent Garden Complex. In a previous column for another publication I began with the following: ‘No confession is enough to save these Sins: I knew it was going to be an ordinary experience when the Thai manager collared us outside the entrance to Sin City (opposite Club Boesche). Dressed in garb that made him look like a cross between Wyatt Earp and Annie Oakley and not much taller than the hood ornament on a Cadillac, he guided us into the den. It was all downhill after that…Sadly, the place is let down by the number of chrome pole molesters for whom a McDonald’s Big Breakfast and a Diet Coke have probably replaced a bowl of noodles as their main meal of the day.’ Obviously enough punters felt the same way and Sin City closed down towards the end of September. This is yet another location that is turning into a Fun Town entertainment ‘black hole’. In the short life of the Covent Garden set of boozers, it has had four incarnations already. After starting as Babewatch it then became Taboo followed by Black and White and finally, Club Sin City. ‘Club’ is about right, because the joint has been well and truly ‘clubbed’ out of existence. There’s no real reason why the place couldn’t succeed, but it does need someone or a group of people with some money and tal-
Email: duncan@pattayaone.net
ent to turn the joint into a profitable enterprise. I know a bloke who dresses like Wyatt Earp who’s looking for a job. In the Doghouse: Surviving in the bar scene in Fun Town is no easy matter but in November this year ‘Scootish’ Dave will celebrate 13 years in charge of The Kennel beer boozer. Perhaps not surprisingly, after such a long time at the helm, he’s looking either for a partner to take a stake in the joint and give him some free time, or someone to come along and take the place off his hands. Located in the lane between Pattayaland Sois 1 and 2, The Kennel reached a measure of fame earlier this year as being the hangout of that nutcase Derrick Bird who decided to kill a swag of family, friends and a few innocents in a shooting spree back in Pommyland. It appears the looney tunes had a Thai bargirl companion who, in the time-honoured fashion, managed to extract a reasonable wad of money from her absent paramour and then found someone else with whom to play games of hide-the-sausage. The British tabloids had a field day with the ‘sleazy’ Pattaya connection and I can imagine the queue of Jackthe-lad journos ‘volunteering’ for a hardship posting to Fun Town to ‘cover’ the story stretched as far as the eye could see. Dave told me tabloid hacks were milling around his bar like fleas on a mangy mongrel and easily outnumbered his small but select staff of wallet emptiers. The end result is that The Kennel achieved notoriety in Britain and the hacks managed to turn most of their stories about Fun Town into a real dog’s breakfast of hyperbole. Numbers Up: In time for the expected high season, the bar scene in Fun Town is starting get livelier
and more competitive with some old places re-opening their doors. The Sakura Club 69 in Soi 15, off Walking Street, re-opened on 1 October after a six-month closure, with new owners. The popular French Louis, former meeter and greeter at the Paris go-go, is handling the managing duties. Just a short walk away, in Soi Diamond, Carousel kicked back into life on the same night after being taken over by new management and remodeled. These two re-openings have once again given Walking Street and its surrounds a solid 52 go-go bars. Mao Lao you Doll: Rambling Ricky, the face of the Babydolls go-go in Soi 15, tells me the den is now selling that wonderful amber brew Beer Lao, in both light and dark, at 115 baht a bottle. Beer Lao has not been available in Pattaya for a few months but a new supplier has emerged and supplies are now flowing again. While on the subject of Babydolls, I happened to be in early one evening recently and was impressed by the number of ladies who had the kind of chest that would make a champion weightlifter green with envy, and all of them were natural, not the result of a surgeons’ implants. The overall line-up was about the best I’ve ever seen in Babydolls, which is not really high praise because its earthy operational style doesn’t lend itself to attracting the kinds of wallet emptiers who have celestial looks, and usually an attitude to match. Nonetheless, the many hands on the one-eyed trouser snake approach has always been a winner in what is one of Fun Town’s more raunchy joints. Piece of Pith: You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
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16 Pattaya One
Fun Town’s most vibrant
16 - 31 October 2010 Issue 2
Travel Thailand & beyond
Sungai Golok, Narathiwat By Duncan Stearn In recent years the internal tensions in the four predominantly Muslim southern provinces bordering Malaysia have been the most violent in the modern history of Thailand. Therefore, it may seem somewhat reckless to suggest taking a train journey to the border town of Sungai Golok in troubled Narathiwat province. Well, if you take the train, stay at an inexpensive hotel, and only want to cross the border and come back, it really shouldn’t be any more dangerous than trying to cross South Pattaya Road on a market day. Since having four paying customers killed by insurgents back in June 2008 on the Sungai Golok-Yala train, the government has heavily armed soldiers board each train at Had Yai. All the stations between there and Sungai Golok were full of troops and police and secured by sandbagged emplacements for added protection. There’s not much to see in Sungai Golok unless you like checking out the variety of uniforms worn by the security personnel. It’s a border town after all. The Sungai River, only about 30 metres wide in places, separates Thailand and Malaysia. Thai Prime Minister Thanom Kittikachorn and Malaysian Prime Minister Abdul Razak officially
A coat of paint and a bit of oil and this old train could be put back into service opened the bridge spanning it on 21 May 1973. There is a Malay satellite town on the other side and if you have the time and the inclination it is about 40 kilometres to Kota Baharu. A couple of faded mosques impress upon the visitor the Islamic nature of the bulk of the Sungai Golok community. There’s a park with a rusting steam locomotive and a statue of King Chulalongkorn; another park has a rarely used fitness area, broken concrete seats and a couple of quite unrealistic, but suitably imposing, dinosaur statues. Near the municipal offices is a large park covered by shade
Sungai Golok’s version of Annie Oakley
trees and loads of swings and rides for children, seating for adults and rustic-style restaurants. A 7-11 convenience store was the only franchise operation I noticed while the Toh Moh Goddess Shrine, a Chinese religious edifice, is right in the middle of the night bar area. Older buildings still outnumber newer constructions, unlike many Thai urban centres. One thing Sungai Golok is not short on is hotels, of all shapes and sizes, and catering to all budgets. A decade ago when I chanced upon a sleeping den bearing the cognomen ‘Savoy Hotel’ I knew I’d come to the right place. It is still in business, and hasn’t changed a bit. Even before entering its portals I was acutely aware this was not linked in any way to the famous London Savoy. There were no liveried footman doffing their hats and opening glass doors with gloved hands. In fact, there were no doors -let alone footmen- at the entrance to the Sungai Golok version. In 2000, the room tariff was a mere 130 baht. The Savoy then had ladies who seemed to be either just past, or well past, the prime of life, sitting or lying on beds and who exchanged bemused glances as if they couldn’t believe a foreigner would actually want to stay in the hotel. I soon discovered these women rarely ventured far from their rooms and were always eager to engage me in conversation, even suggesting a private consultation for a most reasonable monetary consideration.
Once the manager showed me the room I could understand the reason for their curious looks. A ceiling fan, cold water, Thai-style toilet, a mattress with no bedding, and walls that probably hadn’t seen a coat of paint since Winston Churchill died, in 1965. Closer inspection revealed the hand basin had no drainage pipe, so water just ended up on the bathroom floor. Sickly green tiles stretched half-way to the ceiling around the walls of the room, a faded mirror hung precariously from a wall hook and beneath it was a plastic tray -also green- designed to hold combs and brushes and the like but from the cigarette scars it clearly doubled as an ashtray.
The Savoy Hotel, don’t let the entrance fool you, it’s worse inside Apart from the bed with a thin mattress and two pieces of concrete meant to serve as pillows, the furniture consisted of two wooden chairs with brown vinyl cushions, a small wooden table with a laminate top, and a wall hanging masquerading as a wardrobe. Brown curtains that hadn’t seen water since the day they were hung, possibly as long ago as the 1930s, covered a window with a view of the washing line. The window missed a number of slats and the mosquito netting possessed holes big enough to admit a large rat. The room phone would have been cutting edge technology…in 1945. But then, what would you expect for 130 Baht a night: the Savoy?
Published and Edited by Singhanart Rullapak for Napasingh 108 Co. Ltd., 353/62 M.9, Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi 20150. Printed by Pattaya Printing Solutions, Jomtien, Nongprue, Banglamung.