Pattaya One Issue 6

One Pattaya

Fun Town’s most vibrant

20 Baht

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6 www.pattayaone.net

Man Killed By Cobra Did Revenge Backfire?

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inside this issue

Venom-Spitting Scandinavian killer.

% Stabbing season

commences % The Art of walking on Beach Road % Would Santa be at home in Pattaya?

By Staff Writers

A depressed drunk Marino Ginesi, the owner of the Bom Didy Bar in Soi 4, told Pattaya One he was one of Lingaard’s few friends. “He waited at my bar… every morning until it opened. I was the only one he really confided in as he wasn’t liked in the area... Christian should have been receiving medical help, he was always depressed, lonely, drunk and causing trouble in the bars in Soi 4.”

Marino stated, “The day of the incident when he stabbed the Thai worker…he came to my bar around 1:00pm already very drunk. He repeatedly banged the table demanding more vodka. I had a Doberman at the time and after a few vodkas he demanded to be allowed to take my dog for a walk. Christian was aggressive and I thought a walk would do him good…and get him out of the bar and stop drinking more. At the same time the Norwegian who lived below Christian was starting his birthday party in the Nordic restaurant.

“Christian returned with my dog around 30 minutes later and rushed off. I later learnt he had gone to the party and tried to provoke my dog to bite people,” Marino continued. “He was ejected

from the party. He returned to his apartment above the restaurant and turned up his sound system full blast to annoy people attending the party.”

According to news reports at the time, police were called four times to deal with Lindgaard but he simply ignored them and continued to play his music at seriously high volume.

When a Thai electrician employed at the building was ordered to cut Lindgaard’s electricity supply the Norwegian came into the hallway and attacked him, and others, with a pair of kitchen knives. The attack on the electrician almost proved fatal. Police finally arrested Lindgaard and he was taken away.

He’s back As Marino notes, “I and other Norwegians that drink in my bar were convinced we would never see him again as a foreigner stabbing a Thai is a serious matter. I couldn’t believe my eyes went he walked into my bar a month later. He had managed to be released from prison after only one month and showed me bank withdrawal slips for

>

A 51-year-old Norwegian resident of Pattaya, Mr Per Christian Lindgaard, was found dead in his apartment in the New Nordic Village complex in Soi 4 off Pratamnak Road recently. The body was found some three days after the deceased was seen taking a snake into his room, along with a glass case. He apparently intended to keep the snake as a pet.

When staff at the complex noticed a foul odour coming from Mr Lindgaard’s room they decided the snake wasn’t the source. They entered the room and found the Norwegian, who was originally from Fredrikstad, dead from an apparent snake bite on a leg. The snake, which was identified as a cobra, was found curled up next to the bed and safely removed.

Staff at the village said the deceased was a solitary man who did not socialise with other residents, was almost always intoxicated, and very belligerent. They then recounted the fact Mr Lindgaard had been arrested in September 2009 after seriously wounding a Thai electrician employed at the village. Despite the serious nature of the crime he was able to avoid jail time.

He came back to his apartment and was allegedly planning revenge on the residents.

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02 Pattaya One

Fun Town’s most vibrant

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Man Killed

by Cobra

Starting to look up instead of down back on ground level.

Taking the steps he needed to get his feet back on the ground.

Suicidal AmericanThai persuaded to abandon his plans

a substantial sum of money.”

Apart from the Doberman, Marino said he owned two parrots and a marine coral reef aquarium.

Lindgaard asked Marino to contact a man who owned a pet shop as the Norwegian wanted to purchase a few cobras. “He wanted to release them in the Nordic building to attack the management,” according to Marino. “I refused and tried talking sense to him but it became obvious to me even before the stabbing incident Christian was not of sound mind and body.”

Not quite Cobra Gold Marino told Pattaya One he had gone to work in Iraq on contract and just before he left Lindgaard had begun talking about obtaining cobras again. “He was drunk as

usual and it went in one ear and out the other,” Marino said.

Marino told us, “It was no surprise when a Thai lawyer friend of mine emailed me and informed me of Lindgaard’s death. Christian had told me his family and lawyers refused to send him all his money from Norway because of his instability, and only sent enough to survive.”

Condo sources suggest Lindgaard was almost certainly drunk when he decided to either play with the cobra he had just obtained or perhaps take it out of the glass case and release the reptile. Either way, the cobra decided it wasn’t happy in its new abode and proceeded to perform the task for which it may have been purchased, only this time it really was a case of biting the hand that feeds you.

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Stabbing season has arrived, if it ever really left

From page one

Putting the bite on a lady from the Bom Didy Bar.

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

A group of Thai police volunteers went some way to proving their value when they managed to persuade an American-Thai man to abandon his stated plans of committing suicide.

The volunteers were called to an apartment building off Central Pattaya Road where they saw 39-year-old Gerry Gaspen sitting on a ledge of the top floor of the building claiming he intended to join the Pattaya Flying Club (No Parachute Division). This club has few surviving members as the trip is generally a one-way street.

Mr Gaspen revealed his Thai wife had left him, for reasons ap-

parently unexplained, and he had fallen into a state of severe depression. This feeling was so pervasive he decided it would be better to end his days, not so much with a bang as a ‘splatt’.

Fortunately, common sense prevailed and after chatting with the volunteers and others he came down to ground level, where the chances of dying from a fall are significantly reduced. He apparently promised those who had taken the trouble to reason with him that he would not do something of this nature again and returned to his room.

Jet ski scam update In the last edition of Pattaya One we ran a front-page story regarding three Irish nationals who had been victims of the jet ski scammers operating in Pattaya. One of their number had been threatened with a long-bladed knife, which, fortunately, was not used.

One of the results of that story was an amended update to the travel advice issued by the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs, which, under its section on ‘crime’

now reads as follows: ‘Recently significant numbers of tourists have been threatened with violence and robbed while trying to rent jet ski equipment in Pattaya and Phuket. Please seek local advice on the reputation of any rental firm before approaching it.’ (www. dfa.ie/home) Another example of Pattaya One serving the best interests of Pattaya

While police forces and governments may try to curb the availability of AK-47 assault rifles, shotguns, pistols and hand grenades, it’s a difficult task keeping the average person from being able to wander around with a sharp

knife, of whatever length.

That being the case, it’s probably no real surprise that each year the number of news stories involving people getting sliced and diced or merely stuck somewhat painfully, with a sharp knife are legion.

Not the brothers Karamazov

The pain in my heart is greater than in my arm. I really like her you know.

What can be upsetting is when sibling rivalry is mixed with a liberal amount of alcoholic refreshments, sexy female is thrown into the pot, and someone has a knife.

Two South Korean men, who turned out to be brothers, were arrested by police after being injured in a fight over a woman at a karaoke bar in North Pattaya. The two men, one aged 31, the other 38, apparently became enamoured with the same short-skirted and flirtatious hostess employed by the karaoke bar. After having ingested enough alcohol to keep a distillery in profit for a few years, the brothers began arguing with each other over who would obtain the affections of the desired female.

The argument turned from simply arguing with each other while increasingly slurring their words to something more physical when the elder sibling produced a knife and stabbed his younger

brother in the arm. Fortunately for the younger man the wound was not serious.

Naturally, the management of the karaoke bar took a dim view of customers using the cutlery to take a slice of fresh meat from the bone, and not paying for it as well as leaving nasty bloodstains on the polished tiles, so they called the constabulary.

The legless look as Brother Number One gets carted off to the station.

Since the wounded man did not want to press charges against his elder brother (although he did say something about telling mum when they got home), police could only charge the pair with public order offences. They paid a small fine and wandered off into the early morning air and further enlightenment, in the shape of an unopened bottle of whisky.

Murder one, stab another He probably should have just kept collecting dead snakes.

They tend to be harmless.

A more serious stabbing took place on Naklua Road in the early hours of the morning when a 28-year-old Thai male, who had been released from a Bangkok prison five months earlier after serving a sentence for

murder, tried to rob Miss Olga Nazarenko, a 35-year-old Russian female tourist of her handbag.

Miss Nazarenko was walking with friends near the Potisampan School in Naklua when two Thai men on a motorbike pulled up in front of them. The 28-year-old was the passenger and was carrying a

Miss Nazarenko in happier times. knife. He threatened Miss Nazarenko with the weapon, telling her to hand it over. Of course he would not have been conveying his desire for the handbag in English or Russian, but more likely fast-paced Thai.

His body language would have suggested he wasn’t asking for an aspirin, but Miss Nazarenko decided the handbag, which contained a digital camera, mobile phone and US$13 (about 400 baht, depending on the exchange rate and the position the US dollar is taking to the Chinese yuan), was worth fighting to hang onto. When you know how hard it is to retrieve all those phone numbers in your SIM card you can understand her reluctance to part with the device; and who knows what happy snaps she had on the camera. She would also not be aware the man with the knife was a convicted murderer who had somehow managed to serve his

Pattaya One 03 debt to society as they say and was back on the streets and obviously looking to get back into debt.

The Thai man stabbed Miss Nazarenko in the stomach, but was soon overpowered by passers-by.

Naturally, his accomplice, the one driving the bike, escaped at speed into the night.

Rescue services and police were soon on the scene, the former to attend to the wounded woman and take her to hospital, the latter to secure the assailants hands with a pair of shiny bracelets and take him to the police station where charges could be laid.

The ex-convicted murderer said he and his now absent friend had decided they wanted to go out and drink a bucket load of whisky to send a few of their remaining brain cells into oblivion, but they didn’t have the money for such an adventurous exercise. So, they decided to take a night ride and roll some innocent passer-by who would be likely to have money. Naturally, they decided a foreigner would be perfect because they’ve all got plenty to spare, and a foreign woman would be even better because she wouldn’t put up much of a struggle.

He should now face attempted murder charges and get the opportunity to explain his actions to a court who will then decide his fate.

04 Pattaya One

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Pete’s Peregrinations

By Peter Lloyd

Pattaya’s High Season Anyone gleefully knocking nails into the Pattaya tourism industry’s coffin should not be surprised to see the lid blasting off this high season.

I have been astonished by the explosion in tourism numbers in the town over the past couple of months, as the Asian (Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean and Japanese) tour group industry picks up again.

Parts of Pattaya increasingly resemble Dubai, with the huge numbers of Arab tourists here, and the Indian tourist trade remains very strong. I have been told by an Arab friend in Oman that it is hard to find availability in the preferred Arab hotels in Pattaya this high season.

Add the resurgent Russian numbers and the return of many US, Antipodean and European visitors, for whom the exchange rates of old are now a distant memory, and you have a city which has yet again risen from the ashes, following the Bangkok

Clear the umbrellas and they will come. troubles earlier this year.

It is also interesting to see the way these higher tourist numbers slowly but solidly change the economic and real estate base of the city.

The number of Russian-owned and Russian-oriented businesses around Pattaya increase by the week, and Russians working in the real estate, food & beverage, and tourism industry are increasingly renting apartments longer-term or buying cheaper units. There are also many new developments marketing strongly to Russian buyers.

Arabs are increasingly changing the tourist landscape here too.

For the first time ever I saw a

sign on Walking Street (pictured) exclusively in Arabic script, advertising a club/disco (in the Club Boesche complex). I took a look in the very busy club, but it wasn’t my cup of tea, a load of Arab guys, high-energy dancing together in a pack and shouting, throwing their hands up in the air. But it was harmless enough, and a sign that Pattaya is slowly changing to reflect the interests and money of the new tourist groups.

True, for impecunious longstayers and retirees on pensions, things still look bleak as the baht remains strong, but for many business owners the drop-off in these customer groups in many cases has been made up for by the

More Baht Bus Moans High Season Chaos.

The chickens, in the form of all that’s bad about Pattaya, really come home to roost in high season.

I am writing this not with me, or other longtime residents’ best interests in mind (we can always work out something), but thinking about the creaking infrastructure and appalling transport options

of the city and how it is ill-serving the increasing tourist numbers.

We have the road works in the centre of town, making catching a baht bus to Jomtien seem like a major ordeal, having to choose between boarding one at the usual station, carrying 12-16 passengers, looking (and smelling) like a cattle truck about to make its undignified way to a slaughterhouse, or paying for a ripoff special ride.

There used to be a middle way, but that is quickly disappearing as I discovered to my cost twice recently.

The days of waiting by the roadside for one of the previously-numerous baht buses going your way with room to spare seem to be a thing of the past, and I am having much longer waits to get one, especially late afternoon and at night.

I could always use my car or get a motorbike taxi, but that’s not the point. The roads are more choked than usual with people resorting to their own transport, and with high season and a one-track, one-way road going into town, as well as the continued shocking state of Thappraya Road, and the baht bus mafia’s stranglehold on city transport, Pattaya’s chickens aren’t just roosting, they’re clucking well mad.

Twice recently I have had to walk back from the Third Road flyover to Jomtien.

On both occasions the only baht buses to stop for me were already packed to the gunwales, with a sweaty throng of passengers, many hanging like monkeys off the back,

numbers of new tourists visiting Pattaya. Certainly in the wider economy outside of beer and gogo bars, the malls, many restaurants, clubs, bars and discos are thriving.

Of course, many of these tourists literally bypass go-gos and beer bars, or are not welcome in them, but even these businesses only need a tiny fraction of the booming tourist numbers to come into their establishments to make a material difference to their bottom line, if they want them.

I see confidence returning across the board in real estate.

Everywhere land is still being cleared, condos are going up, and the building boom continues unabated, although obviously prices have been held in check.

Longtime residents may hate high season, but there is no doubt Pattaya, ever the survivor, is forging ahead and tourism is booming.

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Letters to the Editor If you would like to voice your opinion in print, please send us your thoughts and ideas by email to: editor@pattayaone.net Letters may be edited to improve clarity and spelling.

The Russians laid bare Sir, You asked for reader’s letters, so here’s mine about something what really pisses me off.

Why is it these Russians in Pattaya are so damn rude? If you hold a door open for them in the malls, they barge past and never say thank you. One day I will smack one of these ignorant blokes and see how he likes it.

The girls are more polite but the big fat oafs they are with give Russia a bad name.

Any advice on this social problem or should I just drop to their level and never be polite when I see them.

I like the new paper by the way.

Well done.

Andy Jones On holiday from UK.

Dear Andy, The Cold War and culture might form part of the answer. For some reason it does appear as though people from Eastern Europe, especially the Russian Federation, are demonstrably more ignorant than their Western European or other Caucasian visitors. If you think about it, the local Thais are pretty ignorant when it comes to holding open doors for people following behind them, and queuing is another foreign concept. Ignorance, stupidity, selfishness or all three rolled into one unattractive package. Maybe the Russian culture views any kind of polite behaviour vis-à-vis a fellow foreigner as a weakness. To be honest, we don’t know the answer, but we do suggest you continue to act as if you were about to enter a Woolworths at midday rather than a London boozer just after Chelsea has lost 5-0 to Accrington Stanley.

Have they seen the light?

Sign of the Times. so I walked the whole way home.

One of those occasions was at 11:30pm on a Saturday night after a 15 minute wait.

Have the Baht Bus Collective decided to reduce the amount of bus freelancing, to get more passengers per baht bus in high season?

The walk on both occasions was fine, until I got to the Thappraya/ Thepprasit junction when the pavement disappears.

I recently saw a guy fall from his wheelchair as he hit a rut in the Thappraya dirt track in broad daylight, and the increasing number of fed-up (or drunk) walkers back to Jomtien - young Russians mostly - suggest the tourist casualty rate could be high this season.

Pattaya needs to better-meet the demands of its new tourists, especially in high season.

Contact me at pattayaonepete@gmail.com

Pattaya One 05

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Sir, Thanks for publishing my letter in the last edition and for your reply. You said I didn’t mention where on the Dark Side I lived but you guessed right that it was one of the main sois, in fact it is Soi Kow Noi. You might be interested to know the traffic lights for the railway crossing roads have all been turned off, at least for now. Hopefully the stupid things will stay turned off although given the way the authorities seem to operate in this city someone will have a brain wave and think they should be turned on again at some point. Kow Noi isn’t too bad even when they do turn the lights on but I often visit friends who live in Khao Talo and that can be a real joke.

Bill Reynolds, by email Dear Bill, Thanks for again taking the time to write to us. There’s not much we can really add to your comments other than to say we have received plenty of feedback, both

written and verbal, regarding the traffic lights along the railway roads in East Pattaya, and all of it reflects your own feelings.

To be fair to the authorities, they made the right decision to make the roads one way not long after they were opened. They realised a two-way system on both sides was causing more chaos than it was worth; that said, it doesn’t stop motorbikes and even cars and pickups driving the wrong way when they feel like it.

Maybe at some Utopian point in the future, the people charged with traffic flow will have the funds to construct a couple of overpasses heading north-south to ease the burden and reduce accidents.

Pattaya One knows of one person who travels to the top end of Soi Khao Talo on a regular basis and lives in the northern reaches of Banglamung. He claims it is faster for him to drive to Sukhumvit Road, turn left and come down the main highway before turning into Khao Talo than it is to drive the so-called back way along the railway road.

Visa Teaser Sir, I read in your last paper and in other places about new testing for bringing a woman to the UK. Seems to me the government doesn’t want us to be able to bring our Thai girlfriends back, even for a visit.

Yet we have loads and loads of illegal foreigners who get to the UK and can stay and they don’t have to be bothered with a test. This must be against human rights or something.

John Stanley, by email

Dear John, Your letter gives us an excuse to suggest you contact one of our valued advertisers, namely Visa’s Plus (038 757527 or email: infovisasplus@gmail.com) to ask for further clarification on this matter.

I think you will find the tests you are writing about are for settlement visas and not simply tourist visas.

The Girls on the Beach Sir, I’ve just come back from my second trip to Pattaya in five years. You ask for letters. I’ve got a question about the nightlife - the girls on Beach Road on the game. I noticed loads more of them this time. Some not bad looking ones either.

Are they safe? I mean like diseases? Or underage? Do the coppers try to sting you with them?

What happens if you pull a ladyboy by mistake when you’re drunk?

Do you have any answers?

Thanks Allen Stephens (never tried it - yet).

The girls on the beach, they’re all within reach as the Beach Boys song said. There are many misconceptions about the girls who sit around like ladies who lunch. Yes, there are many attractive looking ladies and yes, there are a lot more females (and some of indeterminate gender) than perhaps ever before plying a short time trade by way of their transient office on Beach Road.

Diseases? No more so than anywhere else. Underage? You betcha.

And these should be avoided like the plague, simply because you are a perfect target for a setup.

Plenty of guys take the risk thinking “I won’t get caught,” but every time you play out of the legal age range the chances of being nailed narrow, and you’ll need a decent amount of wedge to avoid playing bend over and fetch the soap in a Thai jail.

If you happen upon a ladyboy by mistake while inebriated the chances are Khun Wishididnt haveaknob will have your wallet and other valuable away before you can squeal “nuts to this.”

There are plenty of people who do their bedtime trawling along the Beach Road promenade and report no problems at all. But then they tend to be wiser and warier than the two-week millionaire with a wallet load of personality and the look of a deer in the headlights.

The old Latin phrase caveat emptor should not only be the mantra on Beach Road but in the nightclubs and discos of Walking Street and elsewhere as well. After all, it’s not as if the girls on the beach can’t wander wherever they please in search of prey.

Xmas wishes Sir, Aloha, As The Year Ends And Mother Nature Cries For “All” Of Our Help, I Want To Start Wishing All Blessings, From The Powers Above, Whom Ever They Might Be, Settling In The Past And Engaging In The Now, With Random Acts Of

Kindness.

We Are All In This Neighbourhood Together.

Wishing Each And Everyone Of You, Inner-Wealth, Health, Happiness And Peace.

With Aloha KOTO Keeper Of The Ocean

06 Pattaya One

Fun Town’s most vibrant

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Topical Thailand Private

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Kris & Noi’s

Thailand in the World’s Press Australia blames Thai oil rig firm for Timor Sea spill

The BBC reported that an Australian government inquiry blamed the country’s worst offshore oil leak on the rig’s Thai owner.

The report said PTTEP Australasia, a unit of Thailand’s PTT Exploration and Production, had failed to observe ‘sensible’ practice.

The Australian Resources Minister told parliament the Thai firm should have its operating licence reviewed.

More than 400 barrels of oil a day spewed into the pristine Timor Sea off Australia’s north coast for 10 weeks, the oil hitting the coast of Indonesia and East Timor.

The leak was plugged on a fifth attempt, after a slick had spread an estimated 90,000 sq km (35,000 sq miles).

Thailand secures a slice of Canadian oil sands Petroleum Economist reported that a company, Statoil, had sold 40% of a Canadian oil-sands lease to Thailand’s PTT Exploration and Production (PTTEP).

The $2.28bn deal brings a new Asian participant into the oil sands in addition to the billions of dollars already spent by Chinese, South Korean and Japanese companies in the vast bitumen deposits of northern Alberta.

Monkeys feast on finger food in Thailand ITN reported on Lopburi’s annual Monkey Festival, where the town laid out a lavish banquet for 3,000 long-tailed macaques to thank the monkeys for bringing tourists to the city.

Three tonnes of boiled eggs, fresh fruit, vegetables, Thai desserts, ice cream and jelly were put on tables around the town’s two most sacred sites of Prang Sam Yod

and the nearby shrine of San Pra Kan. The monkeys roamed freely to the buffet tables, which cost about 500,000 baht, to enjoy a pricey variety of fruits including pineapple, papaya and durian.

“Although there were floods in Lopburi this year and the price for their food is quite expensive we still hold a buffet for them. We will continue hosting the banquet for them because my business is quite successful. We have been doing this for the past 21 years,” said local hotelier Yongyuth Kitwatananuson.

“It’s very interesting. I’ve never seen so many monkeys. I’ve never seen anything like this,” said American tourist Hannah Aosenfeld.

Refugees Again Pour Into Thailand after Fighting Resumes The Irrawaddy reported that renewed fighting broke out again between Burmese government troops and a faction of the Democratic Karen Buddhist Army (DKBA), causing more than 1,000 refugees to flee into neighboring Thailand.

Many of the refugees are from Phaluu village about 40 kilometers south of the Mae Sot-Myawaddy border crossing. They are currently taking shelter at a Buddhist temple and Thai school in Thailand’s Tak Province.

“The fighting was not close but we could hear explosions, which is why we ran away,” a woman refugee said, adding that all the villagers had abandoned Phaluu.

Humanitarian organizations including the Thailand Burma Border Consortium and International Red Cross and the Thai authorities are helping the refugees, who will return home as soon as fighting in the village has stopped, as it is harvest time.

At least one villager from Phaluu village was injured in the attacks according to the Karen Human Rights Group, which is active in the area. Casualties in the DKBA and Burmese army forces are unknown.

Local sources said the Burmese army sent reinforcements to

Phaluu village, but the situation is confused. Groups of villagers sent back by the Thai army each day have had to return as fighting on the Burmese side of the border continued.

in the first half of 2011, after which they have to send her to China.

Thai officials will have another talk in Thailand with senior Chinese wildlife conservation officials, hopeful of a green light from China.

China vows to further military ties with Thailand

Thailand Looks towards an Eco-Tourism Future

Xinhuanet.com reported that the Chinese military will adopt a more open and cooperative attitude when developing friendly ties with Thailand’s armed forces.

Ma Xiaotian, deputy chief of the General Staff of the People’s Liberation Army of China, made the pledge at a recent meeting.

Complex and profound changes are taking place in regional situations, said Ma. It is the responsibility of governments and armed forces in the region to enhance international cooperation, jointly cope with challenges, safeguard regional peace and stability to create favourable security conditions for common development, Ma said.

The Chinese military is willing to boost in-depth, wide-ranging and all-dimensional ties with Thailand, building upon past achievements, Ma said.

General Kittipong Keskowit, permanent secretary for defence of Thailand, hailed the long-lasting friendly cooperation between Thailand and China.

He also expressed Thailand’s willingness to continue carrying out close military exchanges and cooperation with China so as to contribute to the eternal friendship between the two countries and to the peace and stability of the region.

Comparecarrentals.com News reported that, according to the Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT), eco-tourism is in.

When addressing the World Green Tourism Conference in Abu Dhabi, the Tourism Authority of Thailand governor, Suraphon Svetasreni, told everyone just how Thailand planned to reconfigure its offering in order to meet changing demand.

He said that they recognize that there is no other option but to work towards a green standard. He said that this is what the modern consumer and well-informed travelers are looking for. Going green is the new social norm.

Of course, this new focus on ecological concerns would be a very radical change. In the first 50 years, the focus of Thai tourism development was on social and economic development. The next 50 years will require a vital shift in focus to minimize the ecological impact of tourism.

TAT said that tourism plays a very big role in Thailand’s national, economic and social development.

The country needs to bring in people from all over in order to fully capitalize on its tourism possibilities.

Today, some 14 million foreign tourists contribute almost $15 billion to the Thai economy. Domestic travel contributes to an additional $12 billion. Tourism accounts for about 10 percent of Thailand’s total GDP and contributes to a wider distribution of income.

In order for Thailand to pull its eco-tourism initiatives off, a big shift in focus will have to be made.

Thailand has set the bar pretty high for itself, but officials in Thailand are sure that they can overcome the challenge.

Thailand considers asking China to keep panda The Straits Times reported that authorities are considering asking China to let Lin Ping, the first female panda born in Thailand, stay in Thailand’s Chiang Mai Zoo for two more years.

The head of the zoo’s pandaresearch project said the contract to keep Lin Ping is going to expire

Do you have a question about customs or culture, or perhaps just a general comment on life in Thailand? Email Kris & Noi at: knprivateposts@gmail.com On the Road My wife and I are enjoying our second long Pattaya holiday. However, we like to explore new countries and meet the locals away from the tourist areas, so next time we plan to hire a car and tour, starting from Pattaya. We know about the nationwide trains and buses but a car gives us freedom of movement. Will our basic English/Thai phrasebook language level be sufficient upcountry? Are the nationwide roads good quality, and with signs in English?

We are aware of the poor driving standards here but, as we both have many years experience driving in Arab townships, we are used to using avoiding tactics!

Micawber & Little Nell

By Khun Dee

Some energizers can help you keep going and going and…

Does your favourite teeluk bitch about your waning vigour? Do you often lack the energy to pull yourself out of bed or off the bar stool?

Has your get-up-and-go got up and gone?

You’re not alone. As people approach the half-century mark, the aging process has a depleting effect on energy levels. And getting up into our 50s, 60s and beyond, absolute power declines absolutely. It often seems that no matter how appealing that new golf course is or how tempting those young go-go girls

A self-drive holiday is a good way to get to know a country and its people. Plan a basic route; even though you wish to roam, it is still advisable to have some idea of the areas you may like to visit. Print out some Google maps and buy a good quality, dual-language road atlas. Hire from a well-known rental firm, either an international brand or a reputable Pattaya company. With these you can obtain good insurance cover and probably a country-wide breakdown service.

The main roads are fairly quiet, with bypasses around the larger towns, and usually in reasonable condition. Highway signs are standard international type and the main direction signs are usually

in Thai and English. Some local directional signs are only in Thai but, with a good road map, you will soon find your way. If unsure, stop at a filling station where there are food stalls and convenience stores, and you will always find a friendly local to put you right. Don’t drive at night—that is for drunks and sleepy truck drivers—and keep the speed down. [You may want to purchase a GPS device. These are now fairly cheap, 6-8,000 baht, and could be of great value. After all, it will be yours to keep at the end of the rental]

Leg Letch

One of the, many, beautiful things I admire about Thai ladies is their

Pattaya One 07

silky skin. One reason their skin is so soft and smooth is because they usually have virtually hairless bodies. But I have noticed that some women, even young girls, do have very hairy legs, albeit usually fine hairs. Is it frowned upon in Thailand for those particular girls to get rid of unsightly leg hairs? If some girls do elect to lose the hair, what method do they use (razors, leg wax, electrolysis)?

Uriah Heep Looking at ladies legs certainly beats train spotting. Thai ladies often do have leg hair but, as you said, it is usually fine so they consider it unnecessary to remove.

Those who do, employ different methods according to financial resources. Wealthy ladies, including those with a farang dosh-dispenser, will of course go for a more expensive method, such as electrolysis, laser or waxing, and probably in a highly expensive beauty treatment centre. For the normal Thai girl, the old fashioned razor method, applied in her bathroom, is sufficient for her legs, and pubes if she so fancies and has a steady hand. Thai women rarely receive any complaints about being hairy; well, not on the legs anyway.

Living Healthy in Pattaya No have power? are, you just can’t get it up (energy, that is).

But take heart. There are several things you can do to return swagger your step...

You may not want to start each day with a quickie, but do start with a healthy breakfast. Beginning your day with a balanced meal helps fuel your initial launching and sets a balanced pace for the day. But do eat lunch and supper; skipping meals can contribute to fatigue.

After breakfast--or anytime during the day--take a walk or a nap.

Your choice. Either or both. A brisk 10-minute walk can increase your energy levels for up to two hours.

Better yet, walk 10 to 20 minutes every day. By the end of three weeks, you’ll feel more vigorous and be in a better mood. Similarly, a 10- to 20-minute nap can reenergize you for the rest of the day, and it can help reverse the mind-numbing effects of information overload.

As you go through your day, keep some fresh water handy and drink lots of it. We often tend to confuse

fatigue with thirst--thinking we’re sleepy when our bodies really need water. Dehydration--even just a little--can lead to fatigue. So drink more water.

When afternoon doldrums set in, many try to fight sleepiness by reaching for pastry, chocolate or other sweets. These raise your blood sugar and virtually guarantee a surge of energy. But that’s quickly reversed as your vitality plunges when blood sugar declines.

Similar swings throughout the day play havoc with your system, leaving you perpetually enervated.

Stop those swings. Avoid sugar.

To balance energy levels eat more whole grains.

Or, if you need an energy fix, have a peanut butter sandwich made with whole wheat bread. The carbs will pick you up; the protein will keep you up, and the fat will sustain the higher energy levels. As an alternative, snack on low-fat yogurt with nuts. Or perk up with a cup of coffee. But spice it up by ordering cafe au lait or latte. Adding low fat

milk provides more energy as well as calcium.

Finally, ensure that you’re getting ample vitamins and minerals each day. A multiple supplement usually is sufficient for those who eat a balanced diet. But if you’re still too pooped to pop, you might need more magnesium. If you’re not getting 350 milligrams a day, add a handful of almonds, hazelnuts or cashews to your diet, and eat more whole grains and more fish.

You’ll pop in no time.

08 Pattaya One

24 the rank of Wat Pho in Bangkok among the world’s most visited temples. With 8.1 million visitors a year and making it just 24th on the list it just shows how many people are drawn to impressive looking places of worship, or just like to get down on their knees, a lot.

6 the number of Swedish-built fighter jets that are due to be delivered to the Royal Thai Air Force in the early part of 2011.

There are two other fighter aircraft due to be delivered as well at some point and the whole shebang will set the Thai taxpayer (all seven of them as well as the thousands of foreign-owned companies) back about 17.2 billion baht. Where’s Viktor Bout when you need him? What kind of a deal could he have arranged?

According to some sources, Thailand’s defence budget has more than doubled since the military coup of September 2006.

50 percent, the estimated reduction in mother to child infection from HIV because of the extensive use of the drug AZT in Thai-

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7943

2

Eating Cow Placenta, Dogs and Other Dodgy Food

By the 861

NUMBERS land. According to a World Bank study, a change in the way drugs are used meant the mother to child infection level has been running at around eight percent from about 2005 onwards. An estimated 14,000 children aged from babies to 14 years old are living with HIV in Thailand.

34,115,000 the estimated (De-

cember 2009) number of females in the Thai population. This is just over 1.6 million more than the number of males in the total population which is thought to be approximately 67 million and some thousands extra. This disparity in the female to male ratio may well explain why mia noi’s are such a common phenomena, apart from the usual ‘cultural’ argument.

Pattaya when they weigh up how much they get for a discarded cigarette butt against the money to be had for an emptied bladder.

And what of the ladies? They already work long hours as it is.

How would they feel about this overtime? In the interests of Journalistic Integrity [what’s that then?

Ed], you understand, I conducted a survey amongst the denizens of a soi popular for Thai/Farang relations. Surprisingly even the prospect of extra money did not appeal to 49% of those questioned. Their principle objections were sleep deprivation and night starvation.

Most said they needed a minimum sixteen hours a day in bed with or without a companion. A goodly portion claimed they needed to eat every two hours: (I question the veracity of these answers; any girl going without noodles for more than sixty five minutes would need hospitalization for vitamin deficiency.)

Of the 51% in favour, most of these were in the highly desirable, popular category. They wanted ticketing machines installed similar to those at Jomtien Immigration office. The coloured tickets would ensure that the customer got to the right desk quickly so his peculiar needs could be dealt with efficiently. 100% of the katoeys voted on both sides.

All day drinking would impact on eating places too. It is a well known gastronomic condition that a bout of heavy drinking awakens a latent desire for a curry, so expect to see an explosion of Indian restaurants.

‘All day breakfasts’ would become ‘All day & night breakfasts’ and be served with a complimentary frothy beer Chang. Those Irish hostelries serving Guinness would not need to change their menus one jot: sixteen pints of this heavy stout tastes as good coming up as it does going down.

There is a business opportunity for the medical profession on

62 million, the estimated number of mobile phones in Thailand.

This compares to a mere 7 million fixed lines.

10 times more fish were in the Gulf of Thailand in 1965 than there were in 1995 (according to data from the World Fish Data Centre, based in Penang, Malaysia).

Pattaya One 09

Fun Town’s most vibrant

ABOVE BAWD

IN PATTAYA

By JOHN THOMAS our Internet Forum Snoop once, and their cow gave birth, and the villagers were eating the “aftermath” of the birth. Jelly and blood sort of stuff. Apparently they boiled it and then drank the blood and ate the jelly stuff and intestines. This so called delicacy was for breakfast and enjoyed by all and sundry.

I could not stomach the sight, let alone eat it when offered. I took off, much to the amusement and laughter of the locals.

Not quite what the health authorities of Thailand really meant in this brochure

‘Tis the Season to be Merry I am of course talking about the news that Pattaya’s drinking hours are to be lengthened possibly to twenty five hours a day. What a boon this is to all bar owners and Hospital Trustees. We have seen this experiment tried in the United Kingdom resulting in massive bouts of binge drinking along with the customary projectile vomiting and public urination often on treasured landmarks like the Cenotaph and other memorials. Will Pattaya’s drinkers follow suit?

On balance I am inclined to a more optimistic view. For one thing, the average age of the drinkers contrast sharply. In the UK most drinkers are 15, whilst here I would think it is about 92. When you are young, public urination is an easy task, achieved in a jiffy. As we age, our prostate makes more careful planning necessary. Choosing your spot needs extra care; shade is essential lest we acquire an all-over tan on our exposed parts. Whiteness is much prized hereabouts, especially down Soi 6.

Public reaction needs consideration. In Britain the public barely notice a heavily pregnant woman being battered by a foul-mouthed thug on a bus. I suspect here the Boys-in-Brown are polishing up the list of fines for outraging public decency. The Bangkok Cig Police will be clamoring for a transfer to

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Jamilv brought food very much back to earth (as opposed to birth) with: I’ve had snake for breakfast before, but from the texture you don’t really notice..its like eel...

Sponsored by

below, shaking in fear, waited to be slaughtered. It was a grim sight.

Bjsanook said he’d eaten dog meat in both Korea and Thailand. It is an expensive meal in Korea. The dogs are raised specific for that but I think not in Thailand. The meal was on chives with steam to heat the meat which was pre-cooked.

Later there was a soup and it was very good. The guest of honor got the gonads.

In Thailand, up in Nawa near Sakon Nakhorn I ate dog BBQ. Wasn’t bad but not as good as the Korea method.

By Mike Bell the horizon. Obviously liver transplants will become big business.

The main stumbling block here is the availability of viable livers.

Though most Thai men would sell their liver for another bottle of the hard stuff and try to struggle on liverless, their organs would be no better than the ones to be replaced.

There is only one answer: copies.

Thailand is the World’s hub for copying everything from Gucci to Versace. It should not be beyond the wit of Thai doctors to come up with the ultimate in scams: cloned livers. I’ve even got a name for it; they could call it Liver Pool.

This one will feed the family for a week Mesmerised by the prospect of more tasty Thai food tips, I went back to the Secrets threads: ‘What’s for Breakfast?’, ‘Rats would you eat one!’ and : ‘Has Anyone Been To Isaan & Tried Dog Meat....?’

Having read them about rateating, I knew there was more meat on these particular bones.

Pumpuynarak ‘s fine words served as an excellent starter for cultural differences about food sources. What’s one man’s poison is another man’s delight. What you eat varies the world over. It’s driven by all sorts of factors, money, custom and most of the time because it’s just bloody tasty and cheap.

There are some things I eat that wifey finds “uhhh”, and she’s used to eating snakes, rats, lizards, frogs, insects (deep fried of course).

David K set the bar high with this delectable tale of the unusual (or is it?): I was in my wife’s village

A bite sized snack At least the snake was dead.

LionKing said: I was once with a Thai girl who caught some small crabs (in the sea) she said to me “you can” and started pulling their legs off and eating them.

Moving on to dogs, Dom666 asked if anyone has been to Sakhon Nakhon and tried the dog meat?

I don’t want to try it but I’m curious. Can anyone share their experiences.... was the dog slaughtered in front of you? Was it BBQ’d, seasoned and what did it taste like...?

Mr Thomas must declare a personal interest here.

Recently I witnessed an outdoor restaurant in Luang Prabang which served dogs and cats (as food, not guests). It had live animals in cages underneath the counter, on which bodies of dogs and cats were the being chopped up, whilst the live ones

That night we howled at the moon and my TGF wanted it doggy style.

Shaft said, about rural Thai villages, you can trade your unwanted mutts in for plastic buckets and other stuff....a pick-up comes around full of unhappy dogs, and they go to Sakhon Nakhon. I’ve not tried any pooch meat, but if it was offered would try some if pissed up a bit of course…we are more upmarket in Udon and feast on water rats and pickled mud fish.

Careski commented: As it is not allowed, it is a hidden trade. You can buy it everywhere in Thailand, but not in markets or restaurants, even in Sakhon Nakhon.

It’s expensive in Thailand and in Laos. It’s good on BBQ and also dried. Like they make “neua det

diao” (meat of only one sun) with beef or pork. It’s good. They eat generally young little dogs only, not old big dogs.

For any intrigued readers going that way, Nookie said: there are 2 different markets in Sakon Nakhon where you can openly buy dog!

Soi7 said he’d tried some dog in the Philippines and it tasted like tough Pork.

Aussie24 worried about etiquette: My girl comes from Sakhon Nakhon and her entire family eats dog meat and rats. I will be visiting her home in June or July. What if the family cooks this when I’m there?

Would it be impolite to refuse to eat it?

What-u-do replied with the pragmatic answer: Just get drunk and they will ambush you with it...I got fed Iguana last time I went to the village. No idea what it tastes like. Singha probably.

But the best descriptions of the use of dog meat came from a poster called Wayne Kerr on Teakdoor in a thread called “Eating Dog Meat in Saigon”, along with photographs of all the dishes. He was taken by his Vietnamese friends to a dog restaurant.

He said: “Dog meat restaurants are everywhere in Saigon and dishes typically set you back about US$1-1.50. The taste is pretty bloody strong and I was hoping they’d order 1 or 2 non dog dishes to go with it, but no it was all dog meat and Vodka Hanoi.”

They ate sliced dog leg, dog meat sausages, and minced dog meat with herbs and spices, followed by dog meat soup, which was mostly dog tail and brains with a selection of vegetables.

I think I’d need the whole bottle of vodka after that.

All comments or Web Board tipoffs gratefully received at jt@pattayaone.net

Not the wok let me just hump around for a while longer

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Pattaya Focus on ......

Pattaya Beach Road

Although the creator of this sculpture certainly wasn’t “shy” when it came to depicting coconuts on his delectable model:

Eeeuch.

This sculpture has its knockers.

For the next few editions we will be focusing on Pattaya Beach Road (or PBR as I shall call it). Not just on its scammers, strollers, hustlers, hassles and ho’s, but also on its gentler sides, its art, its palm-fronded pavements, and much more besides.

However, we should add a word of warning to anyone tempted to whip out their camera and start snapping down there as we have done recently.

With all the freelancers, their minders, drug dealers, jet ski scammers, pickpockets, drug addicts, thieves, teenage gangs and other assorted dodgy characters swarming over Beach Road day and night, you need to be very careful where you point your camera.

Luckily Street Stroller has avoided any confrontations, but I have been eyed suspiciously a number of times, as some people on PBR seem to be increasingly camera shy and nervous when they see a foreigner taking photographs, even when they are not anywhere near the shot.

This might be a reaction to recent internet and local media publicity of some of the dodgy dealings down there.

As an introduction to PBR, I thought we should consider what image best sums it up, and I have a few suggestions in mind, for your consideration.

For example, and starting right outside Walking Street at the sewage pumping station, given the foul, disgusting odours from it, should any of us be surprised to see fetid sewage seeping up from the drains and into the street as shown above?

Would this foul photograph (fortunately a life-threatening stench cannot be photographed) accurately sum up the evils of PBR? Worryingly, one longtime resident commented: “it’s still better

than before the sewage station was built, when all this shit went into Pattaya Bay, untreated.”

But if that’s what’s coming out on the street I wonder what’s leaking into the sea? Perhaps it’s best not to know, but this grim sight and stench is what greets tourists heading to and from Walking Street, and it makes an inauspicious start to a PBR stroll.

Seeing people step in it makes me feel ill, and it happens every few minutes, especially at night.

For lovers of art porn, this is a detail from the waterfall sculpture to be found right at the far end of PBR near the Dusit. We will cover PBR art in all its unusual forms in greater detail in the next columns, but this is the most lascivious it gets, unfortunately.

Given the many and varied scams underway on the beach, I thought the next photo might better-represent PBR.

By Street Stoller shameless activities.

Looking exactly like medieval European slingshot ammunition, I have no idea what they are really.

Maybe former obstructions to prevent cars driving on the beach?

Of course, it’s not just individual tourists who are scammed in Pattaya, or on PBR. Sometime the whole city is scammed, and fittingly enough a monument to inadequate civic pride of a former administration sits, bold as brass, spawning and breaking up, at one of the busiest intersections on PBR. Yes, that cheap, nasty fountain serves as a reminder to passing tourists of what unrestricted budgetary access in the wrong hands can do to a town.

Monument to Civic Pride But enough of the also-rans.

Finally, the winner of the PBR Images, something which best represents life along this crazy thoroughfare is this photograph:

Beach Road is full of Knackered Old Dogs The above photo, showing some old dogs lounging around, was also a possibility for the winner of the best PBR Image award (Metaphor Category).

However , it would be unrepresentative, on balance –but only just.

That’s because there are many down PBR with a lovely bunch of coconuts, as this next photo proves.

For the Financially Decapitated It suggests whenever you get scalped on a beach scam, you know where to come for a wig. I don’t think it would be splitting hairs to suggest they have been very busy recently.

I boxing you

Balls of Granite

At the Coconut Bar

The above photo might depict a suitable emblem for the jetski scammers and other con-artists on PBR, who must have balls of granite for them to continue their

And why?

Because it shows violence and theft, both an ever-present on PBR, day and night.

Sadly the second boxing figure has been stolen off its plinth, leaving its sole pugilist to fight it out on his own.

Much like tourists have to do every day down on PBR, regrettably.

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THAI Lite

The Terrible Truth About Santa Claus

By S. Tsow

(Warning: For mature readers only.

Keep your kids away from this one.)

In a sensational new book, noted Freudian psychologist Dr. Gottfried von Angst blows the whistle on one of the greatest frauds in history: the myth about Santa Claus.

Von Angst’s book is called Santa Claus: The Man, The Myth, The Monster. It presents a frightening but impressively documented thesis: that Santa Claus, far from being the kindly old elf he pretends to be, fits the psychological profile of a seriously disturbed psychopath— almost certainly a pedophile, possibly a serial killer, conceivably even a cannibal.

Von Angst’s case focuses on Santa’s abnormally reclusive personality.

You can’t get more reclusive than living at the North Pole, and anyone who chooses to live in such a cold and forbidding wasteland is bound to suffer from a severe personality disorder: a coldness of the spirit, an alienation from human affection, an acutely dysfunctional inability to relate normally to others, probably caused by parental neglect—and possible sexual abuse—in childhood.

In a rare interview at his office in Zurich, von Angst recently explained his theory. Note, he observed, that this remote and enigmatic individual chooses as his companions not warm, loving human beings, but elves. Elves are related to gnomes, dwarfs, trolls, and goblins; more distantly, to demons. And you know who their honcho is: the Epitome of Evil, the Instigator of Iniquity, the CEO of Sin, the Boss of Bad, the Big Kahuna of the Dark Side: Satan, the Devil himself.

If elves, the relatives of demons, are helping Santa in his nefarious work, he may secretly be in league with the Devil. And before you laugh at that hypothesis, consider Santa’s very name—an anagram for Satan.

Santa permits no humans to invade the loneliness of his icy fortress.

He doesn’t even have a wife—a sure sign of psychological instability, hinting at sexual dysfunction. With no wife in the picture, one wonders what he does to those elves on those long, lonely Arctic nights. The mind

reels in horror at the sickening possibilities. There is also the question of who washes his socks.

Further evidence of sexual deviancy is provided by Santa’s fetish for reindeer. Von Angst points out the phallic significance of the reindeer’s magnificent horns, and the symbolism suggested by Santa’s harnessing their owners to a sleigh.

This is obviously a case of extreme penis envy. The harnessing is a symbolic act of emasculation. It signifies Santa’s subconscious envy of the reindeer’s superior sexual prowess, which he seeks to curb, to control, and to appropriate to himself. It is also a violation of animal rights.

Consider how Santa gets into the houses he visits on Christmas Eve: through the chimney. Some men subconsciously want to return to the womb. By constantly and obsessively climbing down chimneys—and note that he climbs down the inside of this obvious phallic symbol—Santa reveals a deep-seated neurotic desire to return to the bladder.

Von Angst caps his argument with a devastating question. What does Santa do all year long, exclusively and obsessively? He makes toys for little children!

Here, von Angst maintains, we have sickness heaped upon sickness. In addition to his other aberrations, Santa has a fixation on childhood. He professes to love children; but by incessantly plying them with toys, he keeps them in a state of arrested development. He never wants them to grow up; indeed, subconsciously he wants to revert to childhood himself.

What does he expect children to feed him on his clandestine nocturnal visits? Milk and cookies! A man

Pattaya One 15 with a fully developed ego would expect something more robust—a steak, perhaps; a hot dog at the very least; here in Thailand, possibly a bowl of tom yam kung. But no: as his reward for keeping children in the same state of perpetual infancy that he himself secretly craves, this emotional retard expects milk and cookies.

“Ze more you study ziss man, ze sicker he looks,” von Angst remarks.

“He iss so riven by conflicts, it iss a vunder he iss able to function.” He wears a bright red suit, a sure sign that he yearns for attention. At the same time, he seeks to hide behind a flowing white beard, an infantile attempt at disguise. So conflicted is he, wanting at once to both flaunt and conceal himself, that he gives himself away by his very initials: S.C. Fill in a few blanks, and you get SiCk. Obviously the toys he makes are intended to lure children into his clutches. What atrocities does he inflict upon his helpless prey? Only the elves could tell us, and they’re not talking. Von Angst explores the possibilities in revolting detail, but they are far too sordid to mention in a respectable family newspaper like this one. Suffice to say that once you read von Angst’s book, you’ll run barfing to the toilet and you’ll never want your children to come within a hundred miles of a department-store Santa again.

Already a movie version of the book is being planned, starring John Malkovich as Monster Claus.

Its title: Deviant in a Red Suit.

S. Tsow can be flamed at s.tsow@ ymail.com, except when he’s anticipating Dr. von Angst’s next book, which blows the whistle on the Tooth Fairy.

Page

15 Girl A former Club Boesche employee strikes a perfect pose

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Pattaya: One Rainbow Right on Gay Rights How wonderful it is to witness history, especially when that history represents a step forward in human rights. For the first time ever, gay activists in Thailand have formulated a set of demands in the form of an “Open Letter” to the government, which were launched at the end of November in two events in Bangkok. The Sexual Diversity Network held its second Rainbow Umbrella March when 150 people with identical rainbow umbrellas snaked through the Siam interchange shopping area, ending on the plaza in front of the Bangkok Art and Cultural Centre. There they read out their “Open Letter to the Government.”

Soon after, the letter was presented formally, at a workshop in the offices of the National Human Rights Commission. This workshop marked a new beginning of interaction with the Commission. Two commissioners attended, along

with government officials. Observers representing the embassies of France, Germany, Denmark, Norway, and the Philippines as well as the European Union were also present.

The letter read as follows: Open letter to the Government The government and/or relevant authorities must undertake programs of awareness-raising using educational systems, the media, appropriate policies, regulations and guidelines to promote, in a concrete and effective way, a balanced public understanding of the sexualities and identities of people with diverse sexual orientations and gender identities.

The government and/or relevant authorities must stop stigmatisation and discrimination on the basis of sex, gender, sexual orientation or gender identity.

By James Barnes The government and/or relevant authorities must foster free association of people of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities in an environment that is safe, secure and free from threats and violence.

The government and/or relevant authorities must not deny or in any way hinder the access of people of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities to public services, education, job recruitment and promotion.

The government and/or relevant authorities must stop employing notions of public morality, public security and traditions to discriminate against people of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities or in any way impair their full enjoyment of all human rights.

The government and/or relevant authorities must play the leading role in providing education on human rights and sexual rights, put in place and into concrete action leg-

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6 islation promoting human dignity and equality including the Yogyakarta Principles on the application of international human rights standards in relation to sexual orientation and gender identity.

The government and/or relevant authorities must amend or enact legislation to guarantee that people of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities fully enjoy all human rights on an equal basis to heterosexual men and women. This includes, but isn’t limited to, legal recognition of same-sex marriage which guarantees the same benefits as opposite-sex marriage.

The government and/or relevant authorities must take into consideration and guarantee the participation at all levels of people with diverse orientations and gender identities in all spheres of life whether social, legal, political, economic, educational, public health, media, traditional or cultural – in a non-discriminatory, equal and fair manner.

Source: Sexual Diversity Network One small step for mankind, maybe, but a giant leap forward for gay rights in Thailand.

James Barnes is editor-in-chief of OUT in Thailand Magazine.

GAYMARCH You can get a preview featuring boys in sexy, black briefs and traditional costumes. Across the soi, they were packed to the rafters on the 22nd at Happy Place Bar, for their monthly Boy Bingo.

Bingo cards are 100 baht apiece.

First prize winner gets to take off a boy of his choice for free; and the bar gives the chosen staff member a 1,000 baht tip. So, the winner potentially wouldn’t have to pay anything. (Could anyone be that cheap?)

Boys in Briefs: Over in Boyz Town (Pattayaland Soi 3), Saturday is Sexy Underwear Night at Funny Boys. The dancing lads strut around their stuff in the latest, sexy, bikini fashions. Actually, I thought boys in their underwear could be seen every night. The guys at Funny Boys are mostly on the slim side.

The annual Pattaya Pride Street Party was held on 1st December (World AIDS Day) in Boyz Town. Over three hundred uncles and their nephews were in attendance and a great time was had by all. Acts included dancers from various show bars, the popular ‘Dolly Sisters,’ break dancers,

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Some people dont have the stomach for public performance. Not this pair. an underwear fashion show and the popular vocalists El Duo and Khun Toy. Lucky draw prizes included a motorcycle, jewelry and other great stuff. Over 700,000 baht was raised for charity.

Krazy Dragon, in Sunee Plaza, promises fun and games at their Christmas Party on 24th December.

The male, table top, dancing emporium also promises snow and ‘white boys’ (Huh?) at their New Year’s Party on 31st December. Ya Ya Bar, also in Sunee Plaza, will be having a Christmas Eve party on the 24th. Santa and his elves are scheduled to make an appearance.

Boyz Town (Pattayaland Soi 3) also plans to have snow, a visit from Santa and lots of fun on the 24th as well.

Mr. Gay Thailand: The first round of the competition was held at the Babylon Sauna in Bangkok on 27th November. The Pattaya

heat will take place at The Bondi on Jomtien Beach on 18th December. The final will be held on 15th January 2011. (Location will be announced.) The winner will go on to represent Thailand at the Mr. Gay World competition in Manila, Philippines.

The popular, Greek themed Ganymede Bar and Guest House, in Jomtien Complex, is undergoing a major expansion.

This month, they’re slated to add a karaoke bar and a sauna with an indoor pool. Stay tuned. Speaking of saunas, at Sansuk Sauna and Guest House, on Thappaya Soi 11, you can have a drink and a great meal poolside or in their dining area before you pursue dessert on the second and third floor dark areas.

Have a happy holiday season and New Year; and play safe!

Pattaya One 17

Classifieds One Pattaya

Send us your classified advertisement by the 23rd of the previous month for the 1st of the next month edition or by the 6th for the 16th of the month edition. Maximum 75 words.

All Classifieds are taken subject to available space. Send your Classified adverts to: classifieds@pattayaone.net

0364/GW – Bar with rooms Ground floor bar with 3 rental rooms above. Located on busy road in South Pattaya. Rent 25,000 baht per month with annual key money of 100,000 baht. Sale Price: 750,000 baht 0365/GW – Bar with rooms Ground floor bar with 5 rental rooms above. Located in South Pattaya.

Rent 25,000 baht per month + key money. Sale Price: 950,000 baht 0343/GW – Bar/Restaurant Located in busy night life Soi in Central Pattaya. Rent 25,000 baht per month, with annual Key Money of 200,000 baht per year. Sale Price: 1.2 million baht 0371/SLN – Mini Mart Located on ground floor of apartment block in South Pattaya. Rent only 10,000 baht per month. Profitable business. Ideal for girlfriend or wife.

Included in sale price is 200,000 bahts worth of stock. Sale Price: 1.25 million baht

Email: gaymarchpattayaone@gmail.com

The Good, the Bad and the Bizarre: I recently visited Cartier Boys Club, off the beaten, gay path, on Soi Lengkee between Third Road and Soi Buakhow.

There were about ten ‘boys’ and katoeys dancing on the stage. The first show commenced about 10:30 pm and was an hour in length.

The opening act featured a katoey shooting fireworks from her back door; and it wasn’t even the Fourth of July. Other acts included boys in costume and out. Golf enthusiasts appreciated the putting demonstration in which the golf club was suspended from the player’s pole. Three well-built, young men danced on the stage, au natural and then circulated among the audience. Other acts included a body painting dance and a shower show. In a show of responsibility, the boy performing in the show’s finale wore a condom. Cartier has been open for four years. On the few occasions I’ve visited, there seemed to be a dearth of customers.

Perhaps, they do well with their ‘home delivery’ service.

Dancers from Wild West Boys (Pattayaland Soi 2), perform in front of the bar before the show.

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

0330/SLN – Laundry with Rooms – 3 storey single shop house, located in Central Pattaya. Totally refurbished to a very high standard. Three rental rooms on the upper floors. Rent paid till Jan. 2010.Sale Price: 1.5 million baht 0219/SLN – Open Beer Bar Located in busy night life area of South Pattaya. Extremely profitable.

Key Money has been paid in full till Jan. 2011. Sale Price: 1.8 million baht 0313/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 storey single shop house located in busy soi just off Beach Road, Central Pattaya. Ground floor bar with 5 rental rooms on the upper floors.

Rent only 9,000 baht per month. Key Money has been paid till March 2012.

Sale Price: 1.85 million baht 0319/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 storey single shop house located in Jomtien. Ground floor bar, with 4 rental rooms & large apartment on upper floors. Long lease available.

Currently being operated as a Gay Bar, but could easily be changed. Key Money paid till January 2013. Rent 25,000 baht per month.

Sale Price: 1.65 million baht. Freehold also available for an additional 5.5million baht 0357/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 storey double shop house located in South Pattaya. Large ground floor bar with 6 rental rooms on the upper floors. Rent 20,000 baht per month paid one year in advance. No Key Money.

Sale Price: 2.3 million baht 0357/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 storey, double shop house located in South Pattaya. Ground floor bar with kitchen facilities. 6 rental rooms on upper floors. Rent 20,000 baht per month. Sale Price: 2.5 million baht 0367/GW – Bar & Guesthouse Large ground floor bar with 8 rental rooms, located in busy nightlife area of Central Pattaya. Rent 44,000 baht per month and Key Money has been paid till 2012. Sale Price: 2.5 million baht 0320/SLN – Bar with Rooms and large kitchen 4 storey single shop house located in Jomtien. Ground floor bar with pool table. On the upper floors is 4 rental rooms a modern kitchen and a small dining area. Rent only 27,500 baht per month .Sale Price: 2.65 million 0331/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 storey single – end unit located on Thappraya Road between Pattaya and Jomtien Beach. Ground floor bar with 2 rooms & 2 large apartments on upper floors. Profitable business.

Sale Price: 2.75 million baht 0311/SLN – Guesthouse 4 storey, single shop house, located in Central Pattaya. Ground floor bar/ dining area with kitchen. On the upper floors are 12 rental rooms and one large apartment. Rent 45,000 baht per month and no Key Money. 6 year lease. Sale Price: 2.8 million baht 0360/SLN – Beer Bar Located just off Walking Street in the heart of the ‘night life’ action. 3 + 3 lease. Rent 50,000 baht per month with Key Money payable every 3 years.

Sale Price: 2.75 million baht

0363/SLN – Bar Recently refurbished bar located in Central Pattaya. Rent 25,000 baht per month and No Key Money. Sale Price: 3 million baht 0366/SLN – A Go Go Bar Located in busy nightlife area. Busy bar with excellent reputation earning good profits Key Money is paid with a good long lease. Rent is only 44,000 baht per month. Sale Price: 3.5 million baht 0359/SLN – Restaurant/Bar Double, single storey shop house located in South Pattaya opposite a large hotel. Caters for both western and Thai food. Extremely cheap rent, which has been fully paid till September 2012.Sale Price: 3.5 million baht 0284/SLN – Bar with Rooms 3 storey double shop house located in the heart of the ‘night life’ action on Soi 6 Beach Road. Ground floor bar which was totally refurbished in January 2010. 6 rooms and one large apartment on the upper floors. Rent 30,000 baht per month. Key Money has been paid till December 2011.

Sale Price: 3.65 million baht 0312/SLN – Restaurant.

Located on busy road in ‘high foot traffic’ area. Seating capacity for 75+ diners with external bar and terrace area. Double shop house with 8 rooms on the upper floors. Rent 60,000 baht per month.

Sale Price: 4.2 million baht 0269/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 storey double shop house, located in busy ‘night life’ area of North Pattaya. Large ground floor bar with external seating area and 7 rental rooms above. Very profitable. Sale Price: 4.9 million baht 0356/SLN – Lounge Bar with Rooms, Office Suite & large apartment – double, 4 storey shop house – located on 3rd Road in Central Pattaya. Tastefully decorated and furnished ground floor Lounge Bar with Jacuzzi suite.

2nd floor – 3 large ensuite bedrooms all with air con. 3rd Floor offices with meeting room. Top floor 120sqm 1 bedroom apartment with en suite & air con. Good lease available – No Key Money. 60,000 baht per month

rent. Sale Price: 5.2 million baht Owner finance available 0374/SLN – Bakery Located in Central Pattaya. Ground floor shop and bakery. Second floor air-con store room. 3rd and 4th floor offices and living accommodation.

50% partnership 3 million baht Sale Price: 5.2 million 0283/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 4 – storey double shop house with large ground floor bar and 10 rental rooms. Located between South and Central Pattaya close to night life area. Profitable business ready for immediate transfer. Rent is 45,000 baht per month payable 6 months in advance. Sale Price: 6.25 million baht 0358/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 – storey triple shop house – located in Jomtien. Ground floor bar with kitchen facilities. 9 en suite bedrooms and 4 staff rooms on upper floors.

Rent only 35,000 baht per month and No Key Money. Good profitable business. Sale Price: 6.5 million baht 0324/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 interconnected shop houses located in Jomtien. Large ground floor bar with 16 bedrooms & staff dormitory, Sale Price: 6.5 million 0372/SLN – Massage Shops.

Two massage shops both located in Central Pattaya earning good profits.

The business was established 5 years ago and has gone from strength to strength increasing profits every year.

Foot and traditional Thai massage are offered along with Jacuzzi and sauna facilities. Included in the sale is a Thai registered Limited Company enabling any potential buyer to apply for a work permit. Sale Price: 6.9 million baht 0377/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 4 storey, triple shop house located on in a ‘high foot traffic’ area of Central Pattaya. Ground floor bar and shop with 16 rental rooms on the upper floors. The rooms have enjoyed 90% occupancy over the last 12 months.

Rent is 125,000 baht per month and No Key Money. This is a very sound business opportunity. Sale Price: 7.95 million baht

18 Pattaya One LAND FOR SALE Land for Sale. 11 Rai in Jomtien Area, only 10 million per rai. For viewing please call us at: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Land for Sale. 20 Rai in Soi Hua-Yai, only 8 Kilometers from Sukhumvit Road and 70 meters from the main road, perfect for small housing project. For quick sale, grab our cheapest offer, only 500,000 baht per rai.

Nothing cheaper than this! To view please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Land for Sale. 4 Rai in Soi Hua-Yai, 7.5 Kilometers from Sukhumvit Road, next to the main road in soi, perfect idea for a big house suitable not only for a big family, but for small family as well. For quick sale, we’re selling it for only 1.5 Million Baht per rai. For viewing please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Land for Sale. 50 Rai in Boput Area at Samui Island. Best idea for investment. For quick sale, only 8 Million Baht. Please call us at 081 334 5291 for viewing.

Land for Sale. Beach front, in Baan Chang area, 3-4 Rai per plot, price started from 5 Million Baht only. For viewing please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Land for Sale. 2 Rai in soi Wat Yan ( Budha Mountain ), 8 Kilometers from Sukhumvit Road, we’re selling it for only 2 Million Baht. For viewing please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

HOUSE FOR SALE The Best Low Price Ever. A 3-storey Spectacular Designer Townhouse located near the Royal Cliff Hotel.

Have 2 big bedrooms, 3 luxury bathrooms (master with jacuzzi). Top of the line European Kitchen. Fitted with amazing wardrobes and other built-in furniture. Furnished including T.V, expensive sofa, dining table.

Equipped with alarm system. Only 6 Million Baht. Great Offer! This townhouse + a nicely decorated studio unit in Khieng Talay, both for only 6.5 Million Baht. Call us at: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

For Quick Sale! Only 11 Million Baht.

A spacious and well furnished 90 sq. wah house. Have 3 bedrooms, living room. European kitchen, private pool. Located in Soi Kao Talo, only 10 minutes drive from Lotus South Pattaya. For viewing, please call us at 081 334 5291 pr 081 357 7491.

Gorgeous Houses for Sale and Investment. Absolutely all brand new houses, in a modern high quality and extremely nice tropical villa project.

With underground cables, private pool, furnished. Located in Naklua Area. Only a few minutes away from Pattaya, very convenient, no hassle on driving around the city. Accessible to public transportations. Ready to move in. Price starts from 12 Million

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Fun Town’s most vibrant Baht. To view, please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Truly 25% discount OFF the original price. Magnificent and Fabulous Beach Side Living at a very low price.

You can design and build your own house on the remaining plots. Hurry there are only 10 remaining plots left.

Plots range from 520 sqm to 680 sqm. Price starts at 7 Million Baht.

Call now at: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Beautiful Family House Very spacious house in Soi Siam Country Club, with big swimming pool in well kept garden. 3 Beds,3 baths and large lounge. Quality furnished throughout, European kitchen, high security alarm system and electric gate (only 800 meters from Sukhumvit Road) Don’t miss this one!!

CONDO FOR RENT Two Captivating Condos for Rent.

Private Beach on North Pattaya, 64 sqm, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 living room, with balcony, 24 hr security, swimming pool, furnished. For only 25,000 Baht per month. For viewing, please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Stylish Condo for Rent at Khieng talay (near Cozy Beach) 40 sqm on 5th flr (have mountain view). Good size kitchen and bathroom. Totally renovated with all brand new equipment and furniture. Price is 10,000 Baht per month. Tel: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Best Quality beachfront Condo for Rent. Stunning sea view and private beach in North Pattaya, 105 sqm, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living room, with large balcony, 24hr security, swimming pool, furnished. Price at 30,000 Baht per month. For viewing, please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

CONDO FOR SALE Stylish Condo for Rent at Khieng talay (near Cozy Beach) 40 sqm on 5th flr (have Mountain View). Good size kitchen and bathroom. Totally renovated with all brand new equipment and furniture. For only 1.3 Million Baht. Tel: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

For Quick Sale! Condo for only 3 Million Baht. Located at Wong Amart Beach. Luxurious Studio, 53 sqm at high floor, fully furnished with builtin furniture. For viewing please call at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

An Amazing Panoramic view in Baan-Am-Pur, only 10 minutes drive and 8 kilometers from Big C in South Pattaya. Located on the 14th flr, 105 sqm, 1 bedroom, living room, furnished with European designs, 2 balconies, 24hr security, big swimming pool. Price for quick sale, only 7 Million Baht. Tel: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. FOR SERIOUS BUYERS ONLY.

Fascinating Penthouse at Wong Amart Beach in a Low Rise Condominium for Quick Sale!!! For only 18 Million Baht, 260 sqm, two levels, with great interior designs, a spacious living area, executively decorated, breath taking sea view, just 1 minute walk to Wong Amart Beach and accessible to everywhere, good facilities are available. For viewing please call at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Top Quality Condominium! In Foreign Name started from only 4.2 Million Baht. We have several units from 64 sqm-120 sqm Have studio,1 bedroom,2 bedrooms, and also penthouse with sea view, fully furnished and un furnished, Nakual location, Owner financing can arrange (will consider payment terms of up to 8 months). To view, please call at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

The Perfect Destination. Absolutely brand new project with high standard quality. Feel the cool breeze in the modern tropical villas with only 49 units. There are 3 lovely designs of family home to choose from, with 3 bedrooms, 3 restrooms, underground cabling and with private pool. Being located off Sukhumvit Road, driving to and from Bangkok is so convenient and also without the hassle of driving through the city of Pattaya which is only few minutes away, getting in and out Pattaya is easy with several kinds of public transportation available.

Price starts from 12 Million Baht. For

viewing please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Great Opportunity for Low Season!

Only 5 Units Left!!! For Quick Sale only 3.8 Million Baht. New 5 Star Condominium at Jomtien Area, 96 sqm. Have 1 bedroom, 1 living room, 2 air-cons, kitchen, 1 bathroom and 1 toilet. Slightly furnished, accessible to everywhere. To view, please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Majestic Sea View and Private beach in North Pattaya, Laem-Chabang view, 137 sqm, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, unfurnished, big living room, with a large balcony, 24hr security, swimming pool, unfurnished. Only 12 Million Baht. Please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491.

Condo on Wongamat Beach Great unobstructed sea views to Koh Larn, Spaciously set out in 163 sqm.

1 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, big living room, European kitchen and decorated and furnished throughout Very quiet location with all condo facilities.

For quick sale @ 12.9 Million Baht.

Condo on Wongamat Beach Sea views face to Laem Chabang Spaciously set out in 125 sqm. 2 bedrooms, 2bathrooms, big living room, European kitchen and decorated and furnished throughout Very quiet location with all condo facilities. For quick sale @ 8.5 Million Baht.

Where do you find us?

FOODLAND SUPERMARKET, Central Pattaya Rd CARREFOUR SUPERMARKET, Central Pattaya Rd TOPS SUPERMARKET, Central Pattaya Rd FOODMART SUPERMARKET, Thappraya Road, Jomtien In front of KASIKORN BANK, Soi 3 Beach Rd, Jomtien All 17 SE-ED BOOKSTORES (eg, Carrefour, Central Pattaya Rd; Tukcom, South Pattaya Rd; Tesco-Lotus, North Pattaya Rd) TESCO-LOTUS convenience store, Soi Khao Talo NORTH PATTAYA BUS STATION newsagent Most outdoor news vendors from Naklua to Jomtien Selected 7-Eleven and Family Mart convenience stores.

Free on-line at: www.pattayaone.net www.thaivisa.com (as a free download in PDF format)

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Fun Town’s most vibrant

advertisers Be a part of our success

Since Pattaya One’s first edition, only two months ago, we have had well over 670,000 individual page reads and over 225,000 individual readers on the Pattaya One News site and over 20,000 downloads on the Thai Visa website, as well as tens of thousands of reads of the individual Pattaya One columns.

These figures are verifiable.

Our readership is truly local, national and global and we – and our advertisers - are delighted with

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All the internet copies hosted on Pattaya One News and the Thai Visa sites site carry our advertising, so our internet readers are also viewing our advertiser’s copy as well.

We are constantly trying to improve the paper, but our print copies are disappearing fast

wherever we put them, and we circulate all 5,000 copies in Pattaya.

Advertisers, if you want to make your advertising budget go further, and to reach a huge local, national and international readership with Pattaya One, please contact Howard on 087 747 8555 or email advertising@pattayaone.net to find out more about what we know to be the most competitive rates in town.

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Pattaya One 19

20 Pattaya One

MONDAY QUIZ LEAGUE MONDAY QUIZ LEAGUE 25 Oct 1 BOWLING GREEN 1 BOWLING GREEN 2 PALMERS 2 PALMERS 33 CHEERS CHEERS 44 OFFSHORE OFFSHORE BAR BAR 55 THE THE LONDONER LONDONER 66 RISING RISING SUN SUN NOM'S BAR BAR 77 NOM'S 88 NERVOUS NERVOUS WRECK WRECK 99 W. W. TANKIE TANKIE 10 LEGENDS

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Fun Town’s most vibrant 01 Nov 25 Oct 01 Nov Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts

94 94 84 84 92 92 86 86 92 92 88 88 82 82 80 80 82 82 78

Percentage correct by round this week.

12 12 5 5 10 10 66 10 10 77 44 22 44 1

76 76 80 80 77 77 80 80 67 67 66 66 74 74 74 74 60 60 64

Geog.

7 7 12 12 88 12 12 44 33 66 66 11 2

6 December 2010 6 December 2010 15 Nov 22 Nov 29 Nov

08 Nov 08 Nov Sc. Pts Sc. Pts

77 77 86 86 70 70 70 70 67 67 76 76 74 74 70 70 59 59 63

Sport

10 10 12 12 66 66 33 88 77 66 11 2

email: quizpattaya@hotmail.com email: quizpattaya@hotmail.com 06 Dec 13 Dec 20 Dec Total Total 15 Nov 22 Nov 29 Nov 06 Dec 13 Dec 20 Dec Total Total Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Score Points Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Score Points

92 92 92 92 78 78 76 76 78 78 70 70 70 70 54 54 56 56 53

12 12 12 12 88 66 88 55 55 22 33 1

86 86 90 90 80 80 78 78 73 73 78 78 81 81 82 82 70 70 49

10 10 12 12 66 55 33 55 77 88 22 1

86 86 72 72 76 76 66 66 68 68 64 64 58 58 66 66 56 56 44

12 12 8 8 10 10 66 77 44 33 66 22 1

76 76 72 72 72 72 74 74 72 72 72 72 68 68 64 64 54 54 50

12 12 8 8 88 10 10 88 88 44 33 22 1

History Movies Science Reading General

All

62.9% 60.0% 80.0% 67.1% 45.7% 80.0% 75.0% 67.4%

587 587 576 576 545 545 530 530 517 517 514 514 507 507 490 490 437 437 401

75 75 69 69 56 56 51 51 43 43 40 40 36 36 33 33 15 15 9

Average Team Total: 67.4

R1Q5: Q: How many traditional Welsh counties are there, i.e. ones that still have a Lord Lieutenant? A: 8. Palmers appealed for 10, and attached a list of those counties. The counties that the question refers to (those that have a Lord Lieutenant) are known as preserved counties and there are 8 of them (Gwent, South Glamorgan, Mid Glamorgan, West Glamorgan, Dyfed, Powys, Gwynedd Gwynedd and and Clwyd).

Clwyd). What What Palmers Palmers were were thinking thinking of of were were the the historic historic counties counties of of Wales Wales which which have have no no relevance relevance Powys, today today and and of of which which there there were were 13 13 (Palmers (Palmers missed missed off off their their list list Anglesey, Anglesey, Cardiganshire Cardiganshire and and Brecknockshire).

Brecknockshire). Appeal Appeal denied. denied.

R2Q4: R2Q4: Q: Q: Which Which team team or or car car manufacturer manufacturer won won the the 2009 2009 F1 F1 British British Grand Grand Prix?

Prix? Red Red Bull/Renault.

Bull/Renault. W. W. Tankie Tankie and and Londoner Londoner appealed for for Brawn.

Brawn. According According to to Wikipedia Wikipedia the the 2009 2009 British British Grand Grand Prix Prix was was won won by

by Sebastian Sebastian Vettel Vettel in in aa Red Red Bull/Renault; Bull/Renault; appealed 2nd 2nd was was Mark Mark Webber, Webber, also also inin aa Red Red Bull/Renault Bull/Renault and and 3rd 3rd was was Rubens Rubens Barrichello Barrichello inin aa Brawn/Mercedes.

Brawn/Mercedes. Appeals Appeals denied. denied.

R3Q5: Q: Which luxury package holiday group turned 60 in 2010? A: Club Med. Cheers appealed for Hayes & Jarvis, saying R3Q5: Q: Which luxury package holiday group turned 60 in 2010? A: Club Med. Cheers appealed for Hayes & Jarvis, saying that Club Med was not a luxury holiday (debatable). From hayesandjarvis.co.uk: Hayes & Jarvis is in its 57th year of creating that Club Med was not a luxury holiday (debatable). From hayesandjarvis.co.uk: Hayes & Jarvis is in its 57th year of creating specialist holiday itineraries for discerning travellers. Beginning in 1952... So it is not yet 60, appeal denied. specialist holiday itineraries for discerning travellers. Beginning in 1952... So it is not yet 60, appeal denied.

R3Q6: Q: Who is the only woman up until 2010 ever to have run for leadership of the British Labour Party? A: Margaret R3Q6: Q: Who is the only woman up until 2010 ever to have run for leadership of the British Labour Party? A: Margaret Beckett. Legends, Nervous Wreck and W. Tankie all appealed for Diane Abbott. According to Wikipedia, Margaret Beckett ran Beckett.

Legends, Nervous Wreck W. Blair Tankiewon. all appealed for Diane According to2010 Wikipedia, Margaret in the 1994 leadership election whichandTony Diane Abbott foughtAbbott. in the September leadership electionBeckett and ran incame the 1994 election Tony2010" Blair won.

Dianewoman", Abbott fought the September leadership 5th. Asleadership the question stateswhich "up until and "only Diane inAbbott is incorrect.2010 Appeals denied.election and came 5th. As the question states "up until 2010" and "only woman", Diane Abbott is incorrect. Appeals denied.

R4Q2: Q: Which character did Bonnie Langford play in Just William? A: Violet Elizabeth Bott. Nom's appealed for "Violet R4Q2: Q: Which character did"Bott".

BonnieThe Langford Juststate William?

A: Violet Elizabeth Nom'sbut appealed for "Violet Elizabeth" and Rising Sun for rules ofplay the inquiz that surnames alone are Bott. acceptable forenames are not, Elizabeth" Risingstates Sun for "Bott". The the quizapplies state that surnames are itacceptable but forenames are Inot, unless the and question otherwise.

Thisrules rule ofcertainly to real people, alone but does apply to fictional characters? am unless question This rule applies to real people, it apply to fictional characters? am2 makingthe a ruling herestates that itotherwise. applies to both real certainly and fictional characters, so "Bott"butisdoes correct, but "Violet Elizabeth" is not.ISo makingtoaThe rulingRising hereSun. that it applies to both real and fictional characters, so "Bott" is correct, but "Violet Elizabeth" is not. So 2 points points to The Rising Sun. R4Q7: Q: Actress Gloria Stuart died aged 100 in September 2010. She was Oscar nominated for playing which role in a very R4Q7: Q: Actress Gloria Stuart died(inaged 100 inSome September wascorrect Oscar for nominated playing(Titanic)", which role in a were very successful 1997 film?

Rose Calvert Titanic). teams2010. were She marked "Rose" orfor"Rose others marked incorrect.

So applying my previous rulingSome "Rose"teams alonewere is incorrect.

Two points deducted from Cheers, Offshore, successful 1997 film?

Rose Calvert (in Titanic). marked correct for "Rose" or "Rose (Titanic)", others were Bowling incorrect.

Green andSoLondoner. marked applying my previous ruling "Rose" alone is incorrect. Two points deducted from Cheers, Offshore, Bowling and Londoner.

R5Q1: Q:Green A pickerel (often seen in pub names) is a young what? A: Pike. W. Tankie appealed for Trout. From the Encyclopaedia Britannica: any names) of several Esocidae.

Appeal R5Q1: Q: A pickerel (oftenpickerel, seen in pub is aNorth youngAmerican what? A:pikes, Pike. family W. Tankie appealed for denied.

Trout. From the Encyclopaedia Britannica: pickerel, any of several North American pikes, family Esocidae.

Appeal denied.Dancing in the R6Q2: The lyrics of which song mention Chicago, New York City and New Orleans in the opening verse?

sudoku answers

Street. The Londoner for "Wanted (written BobCity Dylan Johnny Cash).

TheDancing lyrics in inthetheopening R6Q2: lyrics ofappealed which song mention Man" Chicago, NewbyYork andand Newperformed Orleans inbythe opening verse? verse California, KansasMan" City,(written Ohio, Mississippi andand Cheyenne, butbynone of theCash). townsThe mentioned Street.mention Londoner appealedBuffalo, for "Wanted

by Bob Dylan performed Johnny lyrics in inthetheopening question.

Appeal denied. Buffalo, Kansas City, Ohio, Mississippi and Cheyenne, but none of the towns mentioned in the verse mention California, question.

Appeal denied.

R6Q5: Which Beatles album features five "Beatles"? A: Abbey Road (John, George, Paul Ringo and a VW Beetle). Nom's and Offshore appealed for Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Nom's saying incorrectly that Pete Best was pictured on the R6Q5: Which Beatles album features five "Beatles"? A: Abbey Road (John, George, Paul Ringo and a VW Beetle). Nom's and cover and Offshore correctly saying it was Stuart Sutcliffe). However in addition to the "live" Beatles there are also the Offshore appealed for Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Nom's saying incorrectly that Pete Best was pictured on the Madame Tussauds waxworks models of them, making 9 Beatles altogether. Appeal denied. cover and Offshore correctly saying it was Stuart Sutcliffe). However in addition to the "live" Beatles there are also the R7Q7: is a 'Rupert' in British military slang?

A: An9officer.

Sun appealed for 2nd Lieutenant. From Wikipedia: MadameWhat Tussauds waxworks models of them, making BeatlesRising altogether.

Appeal denied.

Junior officers in the army are sometimes known as Ruperts by the Other ranks. The term can therefore refer to more than R7Q7: What is a 'Rupert' in British military slang? A: An officer. Rising Sun appealed for 2nd Lieutenant. From Wikipedia: just a 2nd Lieutenant - appeal denied.

Junior officers in the army are sometimes known as Ruperts by the Other ranks. The term can therefore refer to more than just a 2nd Lieutenant - appeal denied.

Next week's matches 20th December: Cheers vs. Nom's, Legends vs. Palmers, Nervous Wreck vs. Bowling Green, Rising Sun vs. Offshore, W. Tankie vs.

Next week's matches 20th December: Londoner.

Cheers vs. Nom's, Legends vs. Palmers, Nervous Wreck vs. Bowling Green, Rising Sun vs. Offshore, W. Tankie vs.

Londoner.

WEDNESDAY QUIZ LEAGUE 1 THE LONDONER 2 OFFSHORE 3 BOWLING GREEN 4 PALMERS 5 RISING SUN 6 CHEERS 7 SHAGWELL MANSION 8 QUEEN VICTORIA 9 NERVOUS WRECK 10 W. TANKIE 11 THE BUNKER

B/F

37 31 29 33 29 29 27 24 23 21 16

Results for 8th December 2010

27 Oct 03 Nov 10 Nov 17 Nov 24 Nov 01 Dec 08 Dec 15 Dec 22 Dec Total

1 3 3 1 3 3 3 1 1 1 3

Email: quizpattaya@hotmail.com

3 1 3 3 1 3 3 1 3 1 1

3 3 3 3 1 1 3 1 1 1 3

L 102 100 94 90 L

3 3 1 1 3 3 3 1 3 1 1

3 3 3 3 3 1 3 1 1 1 1

3 2 3 1 2 3 1 3 1 3 1

HOME Nervous Wreck Offshore Queen Victoria Shagwell Mansion W. Tankie Bye

3 3 3 1 3 2 1 3 1 2 1

AWAY Bowling Green The Bunker Palmers The Londoner Cheers Rising Sun

56 49 48 46 45 45 44 35 34 31 27 W 80 96 98 90 W

R4Q2 Q: Which singing voice comes between tenor and soprano? A: Alto. Palmers appealed for contralto. From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: Definition of ALTO 1 a: countertenor, b: contralto; 2: the second highest voice part in a 4-part chorus. Two points to Palmers and Cheers Cheers.

R5Q2 Q: If you're towing a caravan, what's your legal speed limit in mph on a UK motorway? A: 60 mph. W. Tankie appealed for 60. From gocaravanning.com: The maximum speed that a car towing a trailer etc. is 60mph on UK motorways and dual carriageways and 50mph other roads (providing, of course, there is no lower speed limit in force at the time). Appeal denied.

No sheets received from Nervous Wreck for their match against Bowling Green. Nervous Wreck lose by default.

NB: There will be an end-of-season meeting on Friday 17th December at 3:00pm at Palmers.

Would all bars please make sure they are represented. Fees for next season are 700 baht and will be collected at the meeting. Thanks, Ian. Next week's matches December 22nd: Bowling Green vs. Offshore, Cheers vs. Bunker, Londoner vs. Rising Sun, Nervous Wreck vs.

Shagwell, Palmers vs. W. Tankie, Queen Victoria bye.

PATTAYA QUIZ LEAGUE STANDINGS General Information

The Pattaya Quiz League is held on a Monday and Wednesday night throughout the year. The games are conducted on a home and away basis.

The Monday league consists of 10 teams with Wednesday fielding up to 12 teams. All the teams play for bars and restaurants in the Pattaya area.

Scoring for the Monday league is on a grand prix basis. The Monday quiz consists of 50 questions divided into seven categories for which two points are awarded for each correct answer. The team with the highest score out of a possible 100 is awarded 12 points. The next best receives 10 points, third garners eight and then the points go progressively down from seven to one (obviously for the team that answers the least number of questions correctly).

The Wednesday league has 48 questions divided into six categories with a further 24 points from a picture round that usually is made up of 12 photos, maps or diagrams. Three points are awarded to the winning team, two points for a draw and one point for a loss.

Everybody is welcome to play for any team at any time. Games usually start at about 8:30pm and are generally completed within two hours.

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Cosmo Comes to Pattaya I really love reading those informative ‘tips’ found in tabloids, magazines and on the Internet.

You know the ones: ‘Ten steps to a flatter stomach’; ‘Five foods to make you thin’; ‘Eight ways to keep a perfect marriage’ etc. There are literally thousands of topics but my favourites are the one relating to sex, dating and relationships. Most of them are directed at women and some people go to a lot of trouble to give me a good laugh. Bless them.

The actual ‘real world’ value of such information is debatable and in the ‘fantasy world’ of Pattaya it is negligible. I thought it would be interesting to compare the advice using two recent ‘tips’ I found on Yahoo. The first was entitled “What Stresses Men out on a First Date” and provided women with four examples of what men are worried about.

1. That you’ll be different from what he’s expecting.

The argument went that, even if the first date went well, she may not hear from him again because she “ended up being different than [she was] when he first asked [her] out.”

Women were told, “He’ll wonder if

he sized you up all wrong in the first place. Doubting his own judgment isn’t a comfortable feeling – it’s something every guy dreads.”

Not a problem in Pattaya because every guy is hoping she’ll be different from what he’s expecting. A guy telling his mates “she’s different” is a statement of success! Number one bragging rights.

2. He won’t be the only one you’re interested in.

The writer told women that a guy worries “his competition every other hot guy in the room - could steal your attention.”

“He’ll watch for signs, like whether or not your eyes stay focused on him or if they wander throughout the date. He ultimately fears looking stupid.”

Not a problem in Pattaya because every guy knows every other guy in the room - hot or cold - could steal her attention. However, he assesses that the bar fine he paid earlier guarantees her loyalty, at least until the next morning. And he couldn’t care less about looking stupid.

3. He’ll touch you too soon.

Making any physical contact with a girl for the first time can be really stressful for guys, says the writer.

“He’ll have a battle with himself: he wants you to know he wants to kiss you, but he doesn’t want to come off as pushy or overbearing.”

Not a problem in Pattaya because the guy probably went the bar-room grope on her before he got his first drink. She probably gave him a sensual massage and family jewel assessment before she got her first drink. Here, early intimacy is the norm.

4. You won’t give him another date.

“Guys approach dating with a career-like mindset,” says the writer.

“In his mind, he has a job to do on the first date - to impress you. If he does that well, he’ll achieve his ultimate goal, which is getting to the next date, and the next date, and so-on.”

Not a problem here in Pattaya because the guy knows he will get a second ‘date’. Shelling out a generous incentive the first time makes it almost certain. Giving her his mobile phone number makes it a given.

The second advice column was entitled “Eight Things Guys Notice about You Instantly” and told women a few things men immediately observe when they meet a woman.

1. How Thick Your Hair Is “This is all about evolution. Since caveman days, dudes have been drawn to lush locks, which signal that a woman is healthy (translation: shaggable).”

Not a problem here in Pattaya because long, thick, black hair is almost universal.

2. If Your Smile Is Genuine “Sometimes your eyes crinkle a bit when you grin. Most men are good at distinguishing the vibe of this kind of smile, which says you’re relaxed and fun.”

Not a problem here in Pattaya because all men know her smile is fake. And we don’t care.

3. The Size of Your Group “You don’t want a big bunch (it’ll

Pattaya One 21 be hard for him to approach) or just one friend (he’ll figure you wouldn’t desert her to talk to him). The perfect crew size?

Three. Your two buds can keep each other company when you slip away.”

Not a problem here in Pattaya because sharing with her friends is quite normal.

Two is good and (I’ve been told) three is even better.

4. The Pitch of Your Voice “Studies show that men are drawn to voices in a slightly higher register, probably because they’re reliable signs of youth and reproductive health.”

Finally! This IS a problem here in Pattaya and it has nothing to do with reproductive health. Some ‘ladies’ are not in fact ‘ladies’ at all so listening to the pitch of her voice is one of the better ways to tell the difference. Still, nothing is certain without a complete physical examination.

5. Your Hip-to-Waist Ratio “If your waist is noticeably smaller than your hips, it signifies fertility — a huge point in your favour.”

I did some research on this very subject a few years back and it seems men prefer a woman whose waist is around 70% the size of her hips. The most beautiful women in history have all had ratios between 0.65 and 0.73. Remember the old ‘36-24-36’?

Not a problem in Pattaya because, even though finding a ‘36-24-36’ would be rare, most women appear to fall within the acceptable range.

However, this is also an important indication of a ‘real’ woman (see # 4 above).

6. Your Glowiness “Guys associate a radiant complexion with good mental health.”

Not a problem in Pattaya in spite of ‘glowiness’ probably not being an actual word. Radiant complexion or not, guys in Pattaya already know the mental health of the available women.

7. What’s Fake About You “Not personality-fake, but artificial-accoutrement - fake: lashes, hair extensions, etc. To guys, these things shout high-maintenance!

Not good.”

Not a problem in Pattaya where the answer to what is fake is often, “everything”.

8. Your Eyes “People focus on eyes more than they do on any other body part.”

Absolutely true and not a problem in Pattaya. In my opinion, the local ladies have the most beautiful eyes in the world.

So guys, take some time to think about what the men ‘back home’ have to go through in the dating game and compare that with the ease and simplicity of Pattaya.

Where would you rather be?

22 Pattaya One

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Postcard from Bangkok

by Stickman They say that London has more surveillance cameras than any city on the planet but over the last couple of years a huge number of such cameras have been installed in downtown Bangkok. Standing on the pedestrian walkway above the Asoke intersection are too many to count. There are several poles with cameras mounted, each pole with a bunch of cameras mounted, making close to 50 odd cameras at that one intersection. And there are plenty more nearby, including each end of Soi Cowboy where mounted cameras look straight down the soi. Be on your best behaviour in the Asoke area!

Spanky’s 3 has been sold and the venue has no association with the original Spanky’s in Nana Plaza.

Even Bangkok’s boy wonder, Marc, could not make Spanky’s 3 work.

The original owners who Marc took the bar over from have bought it back and regained control and plan to remodel it back to its old look and even adopt its original name, The Strip!

Debate rages over the baseballthemed burger and beer joint, Home Run, that opened last month in a Sukhumvit back soi. A plush venue that is sufficiently far out of the way as to be a nuisance to get to, location is not the main problem. The burgers look great, but with prices running over 400 baht for most, they should be! I can’t help but think that a car park might help.

The clearing of the bars on the ground floor of Nana Plaza was supposed to be followed by the con-

struction of a beer garden…or something. We’re well into December, officially the high season, and still nothing!

Bangkok’s Insomnia has only been open a week but already there are rumblings of discontentment from within. The Marketing team was given the boot, the first scapegoats in the venue with the 75-million baht construction bill that isn’t doing quite as well as had been hoped.

Alex Bar on Sukhumvit soi 6 has been taken over by Steve, and all connections with former partner Alex have been severed. The venue is undergoing a much needed revamp and will be renamed The Cabin. As is the norm in Bangkok, Steve is introducing a no smoking policy. The bar contains a fair amount of timber, hence the change of name and when renovations are complete it will resemble a log cabin. The girls have been instructed not to be pushy with customers.

It would be fair to say that recent reports coming out of Bangkok’s naughty boy bars have been lukewarm with plenty of disgruntlement at the prices charged these days, to say nothing of services promised but not being delivered. One venue which has not had a price rise in years is the iconic Soi 7/1 venue, the Eden Club, which still charges the same prices it did many years ago - and still offers a no questions asked money back guarantee. If you haven’t been to the Eden Club, you haven’t truly experienced Bangkok!

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16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6 I’m mad, bad and open very late: The Diamond go-go has turned itself into what the management call a ‘BAD’ place, that is, the ‘Best Ago-go Disco’ in Fun Town. I am led to believe the joint now doesn’t open until 9:00pm but will keep batting through the night ‘until you drop’ according to owner Khun Tee. The aim is to compete, on a smaller scale of course, with the likes of the popular Insomnia Club and Marine head-bangers auditoriums. Given that the local government has managed to create a situation where bars ‘in the zone’ can stay open officially until 4:30am during this high season I am not sure how much added business will accrue to Diamond.

Then again, the den has for a long time been popular with a latenight crowd and that’s unlikely to change.

More than Soi Disgusting: The Flintstone Sierra Tango boozer (Soi Kow Noi) is just one of a string of similar places designed to relieve the pent-up emotions of the denizens of the Dark Side, and any visitors who care to wander into the eastern reaches of Fun Town.

The Flintstone is one of those more brightly lit dine and dash establishments that can be relied upon to have eight or nine exponents of the art of the one-eyed trouser snake handshake. The prices for a lie down do seem over the top with the bar fine at 300 baht and the damsel asking 1,000 baht to reveal her horizontal mattress skills.

A cross between a poetry recital and a madman’s breakfast: The popular Offshore beer boozer in Soi X-zyte (off Third Road) will be holding its annual Robbie Burns night on 25 January with the official program starting at 8:30pm.

Tickets for this unique event are limited to 120 people and have been selling faster than you can pronounce ‘O wad some Pow’r the gifte gie us’ without sounding like you’ve swallowed a snail with the shell still attached.

The 2011 event promises to be the most impressive ever, celebrating the 252nd birthday of Scotland’s most famous poet and the man who brought the world the New Year’s eve anthem Auld Lang Syne. The main part of the supper will consist of Haggis, neeps and chappit tatties, which, in English, is Haggis, turnips and potatoes. A Haggis is, according to my dictionary, ‘made from sheep’s heart, lungs, liver, chopped with oatmeal, suet, onion etc, and boiled in the stomach bag.’

What one would call ‘an acquired taste.’ Turnips are not a vegetable you will find in Thailand and so they will literally be flown in from Scotland.

Although this is a peculiarly Scottish event it is certainly not limited to people whose taste in

Pattaya One 23

Fun Town’s most vibrant

N ghtmarch

By Duncan Stearn

clothes extends to tartan skirts, and all are welcome to attend. For anyone interested please call mine host, the genial Bob Lawrence, on 089 4011131 or drop in to the Offshore Bar in Soi X-zyte.

Have one on me: A regular patron of the Soi 6 lying-in-for-abrief-period facilities is of an age where he requires the testicular stimulation afforded by the application of a gel to the genital region.

To this knob end he has a regular standing order with a particular pharmacy. The evening following Father’s Day he wandered into the said pharmacy and collected his usual prescription, which always comes to 80 baht. The pharmacist peeled off a 20-baht note for the change and then peeled off a second 20-baht note and proffered the 40 baht to him, stating, “Happy Father’s Day.” I Don’t Like Monday’s: Probably the worst night or day of the week to gauge the quality or otherwise of almost any establishment engaged in the business of offering young ladies whose primary source of income involves lying back and thinking of Somchai, is a Monday.

While every night is technically ‘Saturday night’ in Fun Town, the reality is that due to employment policies of almost every go-go bar in the city, it is especially noticeable that Monday’s and Tuesday’s are the relatively quiet nights in terms of the numbers, and especially the quality, of dancers who turn up to help relieve punters of their hardearned wedges.

Most dens of the chrome pole demand the damsels on their books to front up for shuffling duties on Friday, Saturday’s and Sunday’s. If they don’t, the penalties are usually quite severe cuts in their end-ofmonth salaries. Go-go’s are always busiest over the weekend and, naturally, owners want all hands on dick for this time of the week.

I mention this because a couple of friends of mine went out on a Monday evening for a bit of reconnaissance and were surprised at what they considered the number of very average chrome pole molesters cavorting about the various stages of some of the more popular go-go bars.

What happens is just a simple case of nightlife economics. The best looking girls know the weekends are good for Venus fly-trapping and usually do very well in terms of adding to the notches

Email: duncan@pattayaone.net

above the bed-head. Come Monday they have no need or desire to put up with the likelihood that the bums on seats are probably mainly under-employed expats who aren’t profligate with the folding stuff. So, they take a couple of nights off to rest and recuperate the vital parts of their anatomy; and because they are basically bone idle and know they can empty more wallets than the Taxation Department any time they feel inclined.

Admittedly, there are any number of go-go’s that will never rise above the average, but when a usually good-quality place appears to have lost a little lustre, it may just be that you’ve wandered in on the wrong night.

Tales from the Crib: There is no doubt the modern methods of communication have been well and truly embraced by the legion of wallet emptiers. The mobile phone must surely have been invented with the horizontal mattress actresses in mind. They would be completely lost without this modern device.

A friend of mine, whom we shall call David, simply because this is a common enough name, received a text message from a damsel in financial duress requesting an assignation. When David replied that he was facing a short term period of insolvency and would be unable to offer any kind of remuneration for physical services rendered he received the following text message: ‘Have promotion. F#ck now, pay later, by 5 December. Only for you because I know you’. Surely a position awaits this enterprising lady with someone like Donald Trump or Anthony Robbins.

Priced out of the market: The word on the street this high season appears to be the really silly prices some of the go-go dancing damsels are asking for an hour or two of their mattress time. Apparently,

3,000 baht is not uncommon. I suppose for anyone relatively new to the delights of the damsels of Fun Town and here on holiday with a wallet load of personality and a load to get off his tiny mind, that figure may seem reasonable. To any long-time expats or regulars, it seems an outrageous sum.

Consider this: just a few short years ago the best quality damsels hugging the chrome poles of the dens of Fun Town were asking 1,500 to 2,000 baht for a short time organ recital while reclining on their back. Punters from the United Kingdom, as an example, were receiving about 70 baht per pound Sterling. So, a short shag was costing about £30. Now, the British pound has slipped to about 47 baht and the price for a bonk has jumped by about 33 percent. So, that 3,000 baht insertion is costing near enough £64. Hardly value for money when you throw in the price of an airfare and a hotel room as well. Is this one of the reasons why it is being claimed tourist numbers are down? Conversely, the Australian dollar has remained quite strong against the baht, running at around 28-29 baht to the Oz, so those from Down Under are quite happy with the exchange rate.

Of course for those who object to seeing people being able to get their leg over for the price of slab of beer, they will be happy to see these higher prices because it may just begin to turn Pattaya into the kind of family tourist resort the local authorities claim it has already become. Mind you, having said that, it is quite noticeable just how busy Pattaya has become in the weeks leading up to New Year, even though much of the trade does appear to be from eastern Europe.

Piece of Pith: The orgasm was created so a woman could moan, even when she was happy.

Cool

music for the hot city

www.pattaya105.com

24 Pattaya One

Fun Town’s most vibrant

16 - 31 December 2010 Issue 6

Travel Thailand & beyond

Ayutthaya and its Christian past

By Duncan Stearn ‘I am never tired of admiring this very large city on an island surrounded by a river three times the size of the Seine, full of French, English, Dutch, Chinese, Japanese, and Siamese vessels and an uncountable number of barges, and gilded galleys with 60 oarsmen…

But something still more admirable is that on both sides of this island are the quarters or villages inhabited by the different nationalities…

I have never seen anything finer, though with the exception of the [gilded] pagodas everything is of natural simplicity.’

St Josephs Church. The disabled access ramp is a modern touch.

That’s what they call a cheesy grin.

So wrote the 41-year-old Frenchman Abbe de Choisy, in 1685, about Ayutthaya, then one of the great cities of Asia. While Thailand has played host to many strange and unusual characters down through the centuries, de Choisy, a cleric and member of the French diplomatic mission in Ayutthaya, ranks among the weirdest.

His mother brought him up as a girl and he embraced a transvestite lifestyle, which included seducing young girls, until struck down by a serious illness. After recovering, he renounced his former life of debauchery in favour of religious and

diplomatic pursuits.

The first European traders to come to Ayutthaya were the Portuguese, in 1511, being impressed enough to call it the Venice of the East (an appellation applied to Bangkok a couple of centuries later). The Portuguese language became the lingua franca of trade through most of Asia during much of the 16th century. To Asians, the Portuguese were known as feringhi (from which it’s not hard to see the modern Thai word farang being a derivative) and were highly regarded

as mercenaries. Among their key trading goods were arms and ammunition, which the Thais used to good effect against the Burmese soon after.

The Thais permitted the Portuguese to establish a settlement in 1540, outside the city walls in the south, and the remains of this can be seen today. The restored Church of Saint Petro, which was originally run by the Dominicans, dominates what is left of the settlement. At its peak there were upwards of 300 Portuguese nationals, many coming

Ruins of the Portuguese village.

The dead centre. Church of Saint Petro.

from Goa in India, living in Ayutthaya. The base of the church was discovered in 1985 and also uncovered were the remains of about 200 people in what was assumed to be the local cemetery. Go inside the church and the skeletons are on open display, with one of their number encased in glass for a closer inspection.

The Portuguese desire was to break the Arab monopoly on the spice trade. They were fervent missionaries and Duarte de Coelho, the third Portuguese envoy to Ayutthaya, hung a wooden crucifix in the city streets so Thai citizens could see how Jesus Christ had died for all men. Obviously this didn’t have much influence on the thinking of the average Thai.

The Siamese kings were not fazed by the attempts of the Europeans to convert their subjects to Christianity. A Father Peter of Lisbon wrote, in 1589, ‘I have preached diverse times among these heathen people, but being obstinate they say, that as their fathers believed so they will continue to believe: for if their fathers went to the devil so will they.’ The insistence on monogamy and refusal to permit divorce were among key factors in the failure of Christian evangelism.

While some of the laws of old Ayutthaya were considered unusual

by European standards (death by tiger for example), the one on divorce was highly enlightened: ‘If a husband and wife have a physical or mental distaste for one another and desire to be divorced, let it be as they wish; for they two have no further blessing in their union, and therefore should not be compelled to live together.’

The Dutch church of St Joseph’s, some call it a cathedral, looks out of place in its faded yellow colours and clock-tower look. The Dutch East India Company (VOC) set up an outpost in Ayutthaya in 1608 and it ran until the Burmese conquered the city 159 years later. After helping the Thais against the rebel state of Pattani in the mid-1630s, the VOC was given land south of Ayutthaya and it is here where the church of St Joseph’s stands. The original mission was destroyed by the Burmese.

Some of the original foundations can be seen near the river.

Published and Edited by Singhanart Rullapak for Napasingh 108 Co. Ltd., 353/62 M.9, Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi 20150. Printed by Pattaya Printing Solutions, Jomtien, Nongprue, Banglamung.