Costa Link Magazine March09

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Costa lInk magazine

COVERING COSTA DEL SOL - INCLUDING FUENGIROLA, LA CALA, CALAHONDA, ELVIRIA, MARBELLA, PUERTO BANUS, SAN PEDRO, ESTEPONA, LA DUQUESA AND SOTOGRANDE.

MARCH 2009 NO.24

Jokes Puzzles Local Info Bar & Restaurant Guide Kids Page What’s On Guide Business Directory

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ALHAURIN AUTOS Alhaurin

With over 15 years experience in the UK, we at Alhaurin Autos know how to look after our customers. We will take part exchanges of either English or Spanish vehicles. We even give you cash back if you wish to trade down to a smaller car. We have a fully qualified gestor and will take care of all the legalities for you. Can’t get to see us? No problem, we’ll bring the car to you. Servicing and repairs at competative prices 3, 6 and 12 month warranties available.

Autos

SMART ForFour Pulse 1.5 CDI (Mercedes engine) 2007, PAS, E/W, C/L, full service history.

VW POLO 1.4 16V AUTO, 2000, A/C, P/S, E/W, C/L, CD, Full service history

MERCEDES E320 CDI Avantguard estate auto.2000, PAS, A/C, CD, Tow bar, Immaculate inside and out.

MERCEDES E300 TD AMG, 3.0L DIESEL. AUTO, 1998, Black leather, A/C, Fully serviced.

VOLVO C70 CONVERTIBLE, 2001, PAS, A/C, CD, leather interior, only 42,000 kms.

CITROEN C3, semi auto, 2003. PAS, A/C, CD, FSH. Changes from cabriolet to pick up.

OPEL ZAFIRA 5 door, 2lt DTI, manual. 2003, 7 seats PAS, A/C,E/W, C/L, CD, 12 month warranty.

SELECTION OF AUDIS, CHOICE OF THREE PETROL, MANUAL, DIESEL & AUTOS

RENAULT ESPACE INITALE LTD ED. 2001 FULLY LOADED HALF LEATHER, 7 SEATS, C/L, VGC.

BMW 316 Ti Coupe, manual. 2005 PAS, E/W, CD, 17" M-Tech alloys new I.T.V., Must be seen.

GUARANTEED FINANCE PACKAGES AVAILABLE Subject to status

LEFT HAND DRIVE PEUGEOT 206, 1.4, 2004, on Spanish plates BMW 850 I, 1990, PAS, A/C, FSH, leather interior, long I.T.V. PEUGEOT PARTNER 1.9 TD. 2004 PAS 5 seats and Side doors. 45.000kms, lovely example. FORD FOCUS SALOON, four door, 1.6 Zetec manual. 2001, PAS, A/C ,E/W ,C/L ,radio, FSH. VW GOLF, 1.9 TDi, PAS, A/C, Long I.T.V., 1996 SEAT IBIZA, 1.4 petrol, PAS, A/C, CD, New I.T.V. MERCEDES E300 TD. AMG, AUTO, PAS, A/C, Leather, Electric pack MERCEDES E200 Auto, TD, 1993, PAS, bargain CITROEN XANTIA, 1.9 TDi, 1997, PAS, A/C, Just serviced. RIGHT HAND DRIVE FORD MAVERICK 4x4 petrol, 1997, A/C, PAS, CD DEL BOYS TROTTER INDEPENDENT TRADING VAN, As seen on TV, No plonkers. FIAT ULYSEE, 2LT., JTD, Diesel, PAS, A/C, CD, 7 seats, 2000. LDV SHERPA 1998, diesel. MERCEDES C240 ESTATE, blue with beige leather 1999, FSH, PAS, A/C, CD, as new condition. 4 WHEEL DRIVE & QUADS SSAYONG REXTON, 2.9 CRDI, Diesel, Auto, 2007, PAS, A/C, CD, Immaculate, 2 years warranty. 2 X QUADS, 1 road legal, 1 Campo.

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www.alhaurin-autos.com Cars bought and sold, cash waiting, immediate decision. Free collection service, best prices paid, Call now! Sunday viewings by appointment.

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Email: alhaurinautos@hotmail.com Poligono Industrial La Rosa, Alhaurin el Grande

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Contact Us Tel: 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007

Advertising Sales: 663 061 669 Deadline Date: 15th of each month. No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors.

What a month! To say things have a been a little manic would properly be my understatement of the year (okay, so it’s still only February as I write this so that’s not saying too much!) and therefore I am now firmly looking forward to Mothers Day and being thoroughly pampered, hint, hint. Yes, a reminder to you all that Mothers Day is on the 22nd March and because us women aren’t allowed to have anything without the men feeling left out it is also Spanish Fathers day on the 19th March. Precious card shop in La Cala have a wide range of cards, gifts and balloons in stock to let your Mum know that she’s the best and remember to have a browse through our bar and restaurant guide and book early for that special meal to give mum a well deserved break. (I hope your paying attention to all of this Paul!) Also this month is St. Patricks day on the 17th March so get out and enjoy a Guinness or two, and the month ends with the clocks going forward on the 29th March. So all in all quite a month. We are still offering incredible deals with our ‘credit crunch’ busting advertising rates see page 83 for details and we explain just how we can offer these fantastic prices on page 54. Well that’s it for this month, I’m off to enjoy a well deserved glass of wine or two. Keep smiling and have a great month!

Inside This Month’s Issue

Bar & Restaurant Guide

What’s On Guide

Puzzles

Jokes Page

Kids Page

37

39 & 45

56

82

77

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to advertise in costa link magazine please call 663 061 669


952 462 092


A W o m a n’s W o r l d Quotes for Women! Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies. - Unknown I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. Janette Barber My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. Erma Bombeck A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. Rhonda Hansome Whatever women must do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. - Charlotte Whitton

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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. - Unknown I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. Roseanne Barr Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law. - Maryon Pearson In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor



W h a t ’s T h e G o s s Terminally ill reality TV star Jade Goody has married her fiance Jack Tweed at an “emotional, wonderful” ceremony, her publicist Max Clifford has said. The couple received a standing ovation after they exchanged vows, while doves were released during the ceremony. Jade was 45 minutes late, and shed tears at “the lovely things that were being said,” Clifford told reporters. The 27-yearold was able to stand for most of the 45minute ceremony but asked to sit down at the end, he added. Police, media and wellwishers all gathered at the entrance to the Down Hall Country House Hotel, while a spotter plane flew overhead trailing a banner emblazoned with the couple's names. Jade arrived at the venue by helicopter the

night before by which time she was in “a lot of pain”, according to Clifford. “She had a bad evening. She was excited. She has been overdoing it,” he said. “She needed quite a bit of medical help.” But a good night's rest restored her spirits, and Clifford said the former Big Brother star was “like a little one that's just woken up on Christmas Day”. She pledged to walk down the aisle unaided in a £3,500 gown presented to her by Harrods boss Mohamed al Fayed.The Sun newspaper reported that she had refused to wear a veil, so that guests could see how her head had been left bald by chemotherapy treatment. Among the celebrities seen arriving at the wedding were TV stars Richard Madeley and Judy Finnegan, Crimewatch presenter Nick Ross and former Blue singer Antony Costa. Lets hope the day was everything that she had dreamed of.

A. J. BUILDING SERVICES A J Building Services All building work undertaken by Experienced Tradesmen For a Free Estimate or Advice Call: Al or John on 619 813 495 Or 671 134 136 Email: ajbuildingservices@live.co.uk 8


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Costa lInk magazine

Franchise opportunity Fantastic opportunity to run your very own Costa Link magazine in an area to suit you. Includes everything you will need to set up and run your very own magazine including: Full and comprehensive training in all aspects of producing and running your own magazine High specification computer loaded with all necessary professional software including Quark, Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Indesign, Adobe Illustrator, Microsoft Office 2007, and Adobe Acrobat Professional On going help and support with monthly meetings Substantial content archives Business media pack including: 500 professionally designed price lists, business cards, order forms and 5 logo embroidered T-Shirts Back issues of Costa Link Magazine, Full inclusion on the Costalinkmagazine.com website For further information please call: 663 061 669 or email info@costalinkmagazine.com



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NINTENDOS WANTED FOR CASH All Nintendo DS and Wii games and consoles bought and sold. Best prices paid. Call now. Nintendo DS repairs and Nintendo DS’s wanted dead or alive. Bought a computer here in Spain? We can change your operating system to English. Tel: 678 43 00 92 Email: gameswanted@gmail.com



The Bad News Just Gets worse... At dawn the telephone rings. “Hello, Sir James? This is Rodney, the caretaker at your country house.” “Ah yes, Rodney. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?” “Um, I am just calling to advise you, Sir James that your parrot died.” “My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?” “Yes, Sir, that's the one.” “Damn! That's a pity, I spent a small fortune on that bird.” “What did he die from?” “From eating rotten meat, Sir James” “Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?” “Nobody, Sir. He ate the meat of the dead horse.” “Dead horse? What dead horse?” “The thoroughbred, Sir James.” “My prize thoroughbred is dead?” “Yes Sir James, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.” “Are

you insane? What water cart?” “The one we used to put out the fire, Sir” “Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?” “The one at your house, Sir! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.” “What the hell?...Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!!! “Yes Sir James.” “But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?” “For the funeral, Sir James.” “WHAT BL*@DY FUNERAL?” “Your wife's, Sir... She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods' Nike Driver.” Silence...long silence... “Rodney if you broke that driver, you're in deep s*@t!”

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And that’s when the fight started... A man and a woman were fast asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at three in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered and half asleep jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man “Holy c**p. That must be my husband!” So the man jumped out of the bed and scared and naked jumped out of the window. He crashed to the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned to the house, went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, “I am your husband!” The woman yelled back, “Yeah, why were you running then?” And that's when the fight started... I took my wife to a restaurant. The

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waiter, came to my side of the table and took my order first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.” He looked at me a little concerned and said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?” “Nah, she can order for herself.” And that’s when the fight started... My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since.” “My God!” said my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?” And that’s when the fight started...


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F.A.M.A FOUNDATION FOR ABANDONED AND MISTREATED ANIMALS F.A.M.A. is a foundation set up and funded solely by voluntary contributions to provide an acceptable standard of life to the abandoned animals whilst in its care: A clean and safe living environment, A regular and nutritional diet, Veterinary care when needed. To ensure that all adopted animals comply with current legislation: Spaying/Castration, micro chipping, vaccinations etc. To match (via adoption) animals with suitable owners. To create a better awareness and understanding of the needs of domestic animals in society through visits to local schools etc. The idea of F.A.M.A. was originally

conceived by Pat Coleman and Vet Javier Delgado Sanchez in the summer of 2003 and in January 2004 the birth of the F.A.M.A. Foundation based at the CAN.ES veterinary clinic and boarding kennels in Mijas Costa.Website: www.f-a-m-a.net Contact: Pat Coleman: 620 354 885.

This is Rosa (at FAMA we Ollie. He is about 12/15 have nicknamed her months old, very friendly “Mop”). She is a pup of and loves to play ‘fetch’ approx. 6 months. She is the ball.He will also a lovely girl and gets on have long fur coat. He is well with other dogs. a very happy chappy.

Swift Construction Glass and Glazing Poligono La Rosa, Alhaurin El Grande. All aspects of Building and Glass work undertaken

New builds Reforms Extensions Glass Curtains Glass Cut to Size Brickwork Roofing Plastering Shower Screens Glass Enclosures Plumbing Electrics Painting Swimming Pool Surrounds Tiling Landscape gardening Safety Glass Decking Pergolas Iron Work Hand made Mirrors Table Tops For free quotations or advice on any aspect of our work Please call: 952 490 169 / 687701430 or email: swiftconstruct.glass@gmail.com


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Prince Phillip classic comments Prince Philip is quite famous for making some rather embarrassing, though often funny, comments. This is a list of the best. On a China State Visit in 1986 - “If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.” To an Aborigine in Australia - “Do you still throw spears at each other?” To a driving instructor in Scotland “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?” On the London Traffic Debate - “The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”

Said during a severe recession in 1981 - “Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they're complaining they're unemployed.” On being introduced to the chairman of Britain's channel 4 television network “So you're responsible for the kind of crap channel 4 produces.” When asked whether he would like to stroke a koala, Australia's national symbol whilst on a visit there. - “Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.” To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes “You look like you’re ready for bed!” On key problems facing Brazil “Brazilians live there”

A lovely villa with stunning mountain, sea and lake views for rent. In a beautiful area set below the beautiful mountain of Maroma in the Sierra Tejeda National Park on the outskirts of Canillas de Aceituno in the Axarquia region of Malaga. Consisting of large lounge, 2 bedrooms, bathroom, fully fitted kitchen, private swimming pool with outside terracing and covered eating area. Only 25 minutes to the coast. Owner nearby. Would suit animal lovers. 1 Feb - 30 Apr €400, 1 May - 30 Jun €500, 1 Jul - 30 Sep €550, 1 Oct - 30 Nov €400 Long term rental also considered. Call: 951 167 603 or 951 167 620



A M a n’s W o r l d Learning Young- A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, “Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?” “Because I'm not a Liverpool fan,” she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, “Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?” “I am a Man Utd fan, and proud of it.” Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. “Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Man Utd fan?” “Because my mum is a Man Utd fan, and my dad is a Man Utd fan, so I'm a Man Utd fan too!” “Well,” said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, “'that is no reason for you to be a Man Utd fan. You don't

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have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?” “Then,” Mary smiled, “'I'd be a Liverpool fan.” The Cheaper Option - A husband and wife were doing their grocery shopping. The man picked up a case of beer and stuck in into the shopping “What do you think you're doing?” asked the wife. “They're on sale, only €10.00 for 24 cans”, he said. “Put them back. We can't afford it,” said the wife and, they continued shopping. A few aisles later the woman picked up a €20.00 jar of face cream and put it it into the trolley. “Whoa, what do you think you're doing?” asked the man. “It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” she said. The man replied “So does 24 cans of beer, and it's only half the price.”

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Jimmy Carr Classics When someone close to you dies? move seats. No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea, you never get that tea. I grew up in Slough in the 1970s. If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s? go there now. When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton. I'm not saying Michael Jackson is guilty. But if I was a billionaire paedophile, I’d buy a funfair for my back garden. My girlfriend said she wanted me to

tease her. So I said, “All right, fatty.” Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Know why that is? They don't fancy each other. If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus? A dog is for life, not just for Christmas. So be careful at the next office Christmas party. I went up to the airport information desk. I said, "How many airports are there in the world?" A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, “All right, but we won't get much done.”

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Jimmy Carr Classics I hate those emails where they try to sell you penis enhancers. I got ten just the other day. Eight of them from my girlfriend. It's the two from my mum that really hurt. British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray! In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza. My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called ‘Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking’. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian... I did a gig in the US once for the home-

less. I said “It's nice to see so many bums on seats”. I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it. I've got a friend whose nickname is ‘Shagger’. You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. “Did you know you're ten times more likely to get mugged in London than New York city? Thats because you don't live in new york city” Have you heard of the phrase ‘Safety in numbers?’...Tell that to six million Jews. If a man always falls asleep after having sex, then why is it so hard to catch a rapist?

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LOCAL Are you ready for the 2009 Cudeca Walkathon? Another year on, and the time has come to celebrate the Cudeca Walkathon 2009. It will be held on the 24th May, on the beach by the Sunset Beach Club promenade, offering participants three alternative routes to choose from: a 10km walk for the fittest, a 5km walk for those who like to stroll and an especially adapted 2km route for wheelchair participants. The event will commence at 9.30am and the entrance fee will be 10€ for pre-paid entrance and 12€ on the day and 6€ for children. The objective is for participants to raise funds via individual sponsorship, by encouraging friends to give an amount for every kilometre walked. The provisional registration forms are now available from the reception at the Hospice Centre. Motivate your family and friends now to

sponsor every kilometre you walk. Those participants, who get the most individual sponsors, will win excellent prizes. There will also be a special prize for the group with the most participants! If your company would like to sponsor the Cudeca Walkathon or donate an item for the grand raffle, please contact the Fundraising department at the Hospice Centre on tel: 952 56 49 10 or e-mail cudeca@cudea.org.

The Mijas La Cala Lions recently supplied the local junior football team with a new strip. This photo shows the team showing off their new kit. Come on, La Cala!

The first choice for baby swim ming classes on the Co sta del Sol.

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The original and longest-established provider of baby swimming and children's swimming lessons on the Costa del Sol for little ones from 3 months up to 4 years old.

20 month old baby swims confidently under water

Babies learning survival techniques 2.5 year old very confident with underwater swims

Baby games and activities

Did you know that babies can ‘swim’ independently in water before they can sit, crawl or walk? Babies are born with natural reflexes which can be developed to enable them to swim at a very early stage. swim bebé swim use natural methods of teaching your child to swim, without armbands, with the parent/helper present in the water and with immediate results.

For more information call: +34 609 474 038 www.swimbebeswim.com nathalie@swimbebeswim.com A ‘swim bebe swim’ franchise owned and operated under License by Nathalie Martinez.


ALL STEELWORK

GRILLS GATES FENCES STAIRWAYS BALCONIES GATES GARAGE DOORS SECURITY BLINDS NON SECURITY BLINDS PERSIANAS TOLDOS SECURITY DOORS

AIR CONDITIONING

SINGLES SPLITS DUCTING POOL HEAT PUMPS

GATE AUTOMATION

For all requirements

GARAGE DOOR MOTORS WINDOWS AND DOORS UPVC WINDOWS AND DOORS CCTV d lity an a u q , e rvic ed! lity, se arante u Reliabi g p i ansh FORTRESS workm s! Maintenance Team 0 year 2 r o f JOINERY ast the Co g n i y l TILING Supp ELECTRICAL

PHONE 952 931 128 OR 952 933 234 Email: fortress@telefonica.net www.fortresssecurityspain.com We speak Spanish, English, Portuguese and French


It’s the way you tell ‘em My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There's nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home! A hooker once told me she had a headache. I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to

% T 10 OUN ON OF I

hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”" I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off. I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, “Why?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

ALL WORK GUARANTEED FOR 3 YEARS RAPID SERVICE DONE IN LESS THAN A DAY

SC CT T DI ODU DVER

PR IS A ON TH

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INSURANCE REPAIRS

BUMPER SCUFFS

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MAJOR CRASH REPAIRS

ALLOY WHEEL REFURBS

FULL CAR POLISH

Repairs from €65 Repairs from €70

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT ChipsAway Estepona Industrial Estate Calle Gutenberg, Nave 13 Poligono Industrial, 29680, Estepona Tel: 951 316 862. Mob: 663 626 514


Photography for all Occasions

Weddings Birthdays Parties Portraits Commercial All events covered.

Photography by Jenniferjane tel: 0034 661 194 653 byjenniferjane@gmail.com www.byjenniferjane.com

CLMŠ2008


The Welshman A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no

more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening...red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get ‘those feelings’ again. He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and, realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear, “Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?”

Everything for Mothers Day in La Cala...

Gorgeous greeting cards for all occasions Unusual giftware Helium balloons and partyware Fantastic prices, Great quality Efficient postal service available

MOTHERS DAY 22ND MARCH

GHD Hairstraightners Pink and Black €75 Come and see for yourself Open Monday - Friday 9am - 6pm Saturday 9am - 3pm

Tel/Fax: 952 587 549 Three shops away from the Tabac (tobacconist)

CARDS GIFTS BALLOONS


THE E GLISH

PIE SHOP

Sausage Rolls, Scotch Eggs, Pasties, Pies, Crumbles, Quiches, Fruit Pies, Wraps and Hot and Cold Rolls made to order with Fresh Beef or Roast Ham, Vegetarian Pies. DUE TO THE CREDIT CRUNCH WE HAVE REDUCED OUR PRICES. VISIT US TO SEE!

And now stocking all your favourite British products that the purse can afford! Heinz, Baxters soup, Cup-a-soup, Branston beans, Tetleys, PG Tips, Typhoo, Bisto, Paxo, Foxes, Mcvities, Princes products, red salmon, pink salmon, sharwoods sauces and chutneys.

OUTSIDE CATERING AVAILABLE FOR WEDDINGS, PARTIES AND FUNCTIONS.

Local 16B C.C. Calypso Calahonda Tel: 619 522 331

OPENING TIMES MONDAY - FRIDAY 10.00 - 16.00 SAT 10.00 - 14.00

C.C. Mustang El Pilar Estepona Tel: 663 330 057


Funny five Minutes A man came walking up to the house when he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no trousers or pants on?” he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.” Little Jennifer was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour Tina peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was

n ligatio No ob n tio quota

up to, she politely asked, “What are you up to there, Jennifer?” “My goldfish died,” replied Jennifer tearfully, without looking up “and I've just buried him.” Tina was concerned, “That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?” Jennifer patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That's because he's inside your f**king cat.” There where two Irish men on a bulding site. One of them said “Can you help me find my ear?” The other man said “Is this it?” The other man said “No, mine has got a pencil behind it.” Dodo died, Dodi died, Di died, Dando died... Surely Dido's go to be just a little bit worried.

New Showroom La Cala de Mijas

Tailor made furniture packages & make over solutions

Are you struggling for ideas, time or patience for your property? Take the stress out of what should be a wonderful new phase in your life. New or existing properties, we can help you. Call Dilys for a no-obligation quotation, from dressing one window to a whole furniture package. Our showroom is situated between the BP petrol station and the Farmacia, next door to Sr. Nick’s. Tel/Fax: 952 494 155. Dilys: 600 583 673. Juliette: 678 539 365 Web: www.whitedesignco.com. Email: info@whitedesignco.com CLM©2008

36


Fish and Chips All Day Breakfast Homemade Steak pie Chicken and Mushroom pie Breakfast, Lunchtime and Evening Menu Curry Night Wednesday and Saturday Large Childrens and Vegetarian menu Summer Terrace Sports shown

Pino Golf de Don Carlos, Local 18, Elviria, Marbella (Behind Opencor supermarket) Tel: 952 838 604


CLM©2008

Breakfast, Sandwiches, Baguettes. All kind of tapas

sday Wedne aella Free P with a Tapas or f wine glass o beer Open 9am - 10pm 7 days a week

Jardín Botánico

OPEN FOR BREKFAST, LUNCH AND OUR NEW BAR-CAFE NOW OPEN EVENINGS FOR TAPAS.

BREAKFASTS, FRESHLY BAKED BAGUETTES AND CROISSANTS, SANDWICHES AND ROLLS WITH DIFFERENT FILLINGS DAILY. DAILY LUNCHTIME SPECIALS, KEBABS, MEXICAN CHICKEN, SPECIALITY SALADS, LAVAZZA COFFEE, MILKSHAKES, FUSION TEAS, EVENING DRINKS. ENJOY ‘AL FRESCO’ ON OUR SUNNY TERRACE OR INSIDE OUR NEW BAR-CAFE. DAYTIME MENU AVAILABLE UNTIL 5.00PM Local 26 Jardín Botánico, La Cala de Mijas Open from 8.00am. Tel: 952 493 184

HONG KONG

Sandi

CHI ESE RESTAURA T

Takeaway. Fresh Baguettes, Paninis, Pies, Kebabs, Burgers and Pastries. Mon - Sat 11.30 - 15.30 and 18.30 - 22.30 C/Torremolinos, La Cala. Tel: 618 181 507

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS

ADVERTISE YOUR BAR OR RESTAURANT HERE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

Just

€20 a Telephone: 663 061 669

month

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSE

RICE AND NOODLES Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

DESSERTS Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas. Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

bars and restaurant guide

Great places to eat and drink in La Cala

The Tapas


Your Entertainment Guide Thursdays

Mondays

Quiz and Bingo - Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Under 12’s eat free Mon, Thur, Sat with paying adult - Menu of the day, 2 courses €11,95. The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Film Nights - 9.30pm, Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

Tuesdays Quiz Night - 9.30, Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range. Karaoke - Fools bar. El Zoco, Calahonda.

Wednesdays

Quiz Night - Captains Bar, La Cala. Strictly Come Dancing - Dancing Lessons. 2pm Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Steak Night - 5.30 - 9.45, Bingo and Quiz 10pm. Bunkers, Miraflores Driving Range.

Steak Night - Eat as much as you can REDUCED to €19.95 with Gary Young Live. Vista del Mar. Quiz night - JJ’s Bar, Riviera del Sol. Quiz Night - Sussex Bar, La Cala. Karaoke - Fools Bar, El Zoco, Calahonda. Karaoke - Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda.

Fridays Karaoke - “Paul the Bear” Shenanigans, 9.30pm Riviera del Sol. Bingo - Captains bar, La Cala. Darts League - Sussex Bar, La Cortijera, La Cala. Live Music - Trafalgar Bar, El Zoco. Fish and Chip Night - The Far Isle, Riviera del Sol. Continued on page 45

Cala Bella

Buying or Selling a Business on the Costa del Sol ?

St. Patricks Day Steve Nelson and Irish singers CLM©2008

Least Commission Largest Selection of Businesses Best Prices

All English and main sporting events shown. Every first Thursday of the month 7pm Steve Nelson Live. Open Mon - Fri 5pm till late. Sat Sun 2pm till late. Calle Torremolinos, La Cala.

The Sussex Bar

CLM©2008

Food served 10am -10pm. Sunday Lunch 1pm - 9pm. Thursday quiz night, Friday darts league, Saturdays Karaoke. La Cortijera. La Cala.

SELLING A BUSINESS The No. 1 Agent on the Costa del Sol for more than 5 years Top Website Ranking New Listings on Website in 24 Hrs Regular Progress Reports Plenty of International Buyers Less Commission than other Agents BUYING A BUSINESS We are Fully Registered and Office Based All Businesses are Fully Licensed Proper Legal Contracts to Protect You

CALL US NOW!!! 952 477 874 or 647 830 885 info@fiestaproperty.com www.fiestaproperty.com

La Cala

great places to eat, drink and be entertained.

W h a t ’s O n


Dibleys

Bar Tapas Take-away

La Cala de Mijas, Opposite the church. Tel: 661 435 816

Totally Refurbished

Tapas 6pm - 10pm English and Spanish mix Sunday Roast 12 - 6pm Beef and Lamb €8 Chicken €7 Live Entertainment Steve Summers every Saturday night from 9.30

Incorporating ‘to go’ Sandwich Bar Sandwiches to eat in or take away 10am - 3 pm

Jane and Steve formerly from ‘to go’ and Claire and Gary formerly from Captains Bar

Open 10am - till late. Closed Sunday evening La Cala de Mijas, Mijas Costa. Tel: 661 435 816


EAT IN OR TAKE AWAY

Nice Place for Nice People Friendly Atmosphere, Family Bar, Children Welcome Home made Sunday Lunch served from 12 until 10pm BIGGEST ROAST ON THE COAST BREAKFAST - served All day except Sunday from only €6 including hot drink 2 MEAL DEAL MENU Choose any two meals for just €10 (Monday to Saturdays)

Two large sunny terraces Pool table Internet access All live sport shown, Cheltenham Festival Bingo Fridays Quiz Wednesday Happy Hour 5pm-7pm Monday - Friday Carling €2.20 pint, Estrella Gallicia €2.00 pint, House wine 1.50 a glass.

Don’t forget Mothers Day 22nd March Free Glass of wine and chocolates After their first sucessful year of running Captains Bar Jeff and Clare welcome you Las Adelfas No.11 Urb. Los Claveles, La Cala de Mijas.

Tel: 952 493 763


THURSDAY KARAOKE 8.30pm SATURDAYS CABARET 8.30pm

Tel: 952 932 519 41 & 42, 1ST FLOOR CENTRO COMMERCIAL LOS JARALES, CALAHONDA

Harrys Sports Bar

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales.

CLM©2008

Calahonda

Sisters Bar

COMMERCIAL CATERING EQUIPMENT NEW & SECONDHAND FURNITURE, DESIGNER/BUDGET, INDOOR/OUTDOOR & MODULAR SEATING FULL PROJECT MANAGEMENT EXTRACTION/ REFRIGERATION ITALIAN DESIGNER BARS STAINLESS STEEL FABRICATION

Friendly family bar with good food, tapas, live entertainment, karaoke and sports. Open seven days a week. The Strip, Calahonda Tel: 952 939 579

NEW SHOWROOM ON THE N340 NEAR LA CALA DE MIJAS. EST. 8 YEARS, FULL WARRANTY & SERVICE NO ITEM TOO SMALL

www.grupocaterquip.com TEL/FAX: 952 493 636 or MOBILE: 605 411 881 - 637 546 978

great places to eat and drink

Los Jarales

Play world famous Texas Holdʼem Poker. From beginners to pros, we have games to suit everyone


Villa Paradiso - Open since 1989

Calypso

Small friendly bar. Daily sport. Karaoke on Tues and Thursday. All football matches shown. First floor El Zoco (corner) Tel: 952 935 340

Italian Restaurant

Italian restaurant. Taste the genuine Italian food in attractive decor. Open seven days a week, 1pm till late. C.C. El Zoco, first floor, Sitio de Calahonda. Tel: 952 932 042

Sit ‘n’ Go

Trafalgar Cocktail Bar

Sit ‘n’ Go sports lounge broadcasting all the weekly action in comfortable, friendly surroundings. Open daily from 1pm until midnight. Wi-fi internet access. Frontline C.C.Calypso.

For before and after dinner drinks. Live music Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Open every evening until late. El Zoco First floor, Sito de Calahonda. Mijas Costa.

The

BOAT HOUSE

Mijas Costa’s Premier Fish and Chips Restaurant and Take Away Excellent Quality Fish and Chips Large portions Enjoy your meal in our large fully air-conditioned restaurant or outside ‘al fresco’ on our large terrace Large selection of desserts

NOW OPEN ON FRIDAY LUNCHTIMES 12PM TILL 2PM WITH A LUNCHTIME SPECIAL MENU.

OPE EVERY IGHT 6.00 - 10.00 ABOVE SUPERSOL, C.C. EL ZOCO, CALAHO DA

TEL: 952 930 148

CLM©2008

great places to eat and drink El Zoco, Calahonda

Fools Bar


ALL LIVE SPORTS SHOWN ON TWO LARGE SCREENS FOUR LIVE MATCHES ON SATURDAYS FULL MENU AVAILABLE TILL LATE SUNDAY LUNCH, PORK, CHICKEN OR BEEF 2 COUSES €8 BREAKFAST SPECIAL €5 SPIRIT AND MIXERS €3 ALL DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK MENU OF THE DAY €5 LARGE SUNNY TERRACE FOR BOOKINGS CALL: 634 670 553 C.C Los Jarales, Mijas Costa

CLM©2008

Los Jarales

Sports - Cafe Bar

great places to eat and drink

THE PIT STOP


Cont. from page 39

Fridays cont.

Your Entertainment Guide Saturdays

Nemos Bar

Cabaret - Michelle Allan 9.30pm Shenanigans, Riviera del Sol. Cabaret Night - Live music plus 3 course meal only €25. Vista del Mar. Traditional Pie, Mash and Liquer during the day, Karaoke in the evening. - Sisters Bar, The Strip, Calahonda. Live music - Trafalgar bar, El Zoco, Calahonda. Mixed Grill Night - 5.30 - 9.45 Bunkers Bar Bistro, Miraflores Driving Range.

Sundays Sunday Lunch - 1 till 6 with Gary Young on vocals, 2 till 5. Vista del Mar. Front line Fuengirola port. Open all day. 6 days a week. Pool table, Darts and Sky Sports.

BBQ - 6pm - 9.30 Bingo and Quiz 10.00pm, Bunkers, Miraflores Driving Range.

FILL UP THOSE EMPTY TABLES Advertise in the C osta l ink Bar and Restaurant Guide from as little as € 20 a month.

Tel: 663 061 669 Trying to sell your bar or restaurant? Are estate agent fees pricing you out usinessand of the market? Why not sell direct, cut out the middle ropertydirect.com man and put the cash in your pocket!

X X

Fuengirola Port

Lucky Balls Competition - Number drawn eats for free! Vista del Mar, beachside, Riviera de Sol

businessandpropertydirect.com CLM©2008

great places to eat, drink and be entertained

W h a t ’s O n


Fine Indian Cuisne Restaurant and Take Away Open from 6pm - Midnight CLMŠ2008

Tel: 902 463 426 IND IAN


Mughal Village Urb. Torrenueva, Mijas Costa Fine Indian Cuisine. Restaurant and Take Away Open from 6pm - Midnight Tel: 902 463 426


Things That Make You Go Mmmm Irish Coffee Cheesecake The Crust

8oz Digestive biscuits 4oz unsalted butter Line a 12inch round baking tin with tin foil using enough to fold over the top of the cheesecake once its done. In a saucepan, slowly melt the butter over a low heat and add the crushed digestive biscuits. Put mixture into the baking tin and chill in the fridge for at least an hour. The Filling 8oz Cream Cheese (i.e. Philidelphia or supermarket equivalent) 8oz Cottage Cheese 2 egg whites Juice and rind of 1 lemon

Cockles

1 cup of Bailey's Irish Cream liquer 1/2 pint of double cream 4oz Caster Sugar 1 packet of Gelatine Beat egg whites until stiff, add the caster sugar and beat together then set to one side. Whip the cream and set to one side. Mix the cream cheese and cottage cheese together (the longer you beat these two together the smoother the cheesecake will be). Add to the cheese mixture the lemon juice and rind, the baileys and finally the gelatine. Fold in the whipped cream and egg whites (please fold not mix). Put the mixture onto the chilled biscuit base and leave in the fridge for three hours to set.

Win a meal for 2

English Seafood Tapas Bar

Fuengirola

Fuengirola Port

Vista del Mar are offering Costa Link readers the chance to win a meal for two up to the value of â‚Ź50 at their fantastic restaurant, situated at Beachside Miraflores.

Everything Direct from Billingsgate Market London EAT IN OR TAKE AWAY

Pie, Mash and Liquer Jellied Eels Dressed Crab Whelks Peeled Prawns and much more...

46

Parties catered for Tel: 672 028 226

CLMŠ2008

Open Tues - Sun 11am - 7pm

To win all you have to do is answer the following question: What date is the charity casino evening being held on at Vista del Mar? Email your answer to: info@costalinkmagazine.com



Golden Sun

CHARLEY’S BAR & RESTAURANT

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only €6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Papa Luigi

Traditional Italian food. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT SUNDAY ROAST with Fresh Veg & Yorkshire Pud & Dessert for just 10€ Adults & 4.50€ Children NEW DAY & EVENING MENUS & DAILY SPECIALS SNACKS & TAKEAWAY AVAILABLE ALL DAY OPEN EVERYDAY SUNNY TERRACE, SEA VIEWS & SKY SPORTS. LAGER: 2.50€, SPIRITS & MIXERS €4.50

Tel: 615 315 605

1ST FLOOR RIVIERA COMMERCIAL (NEAR THE CHEMISTS), RIVIERA DEL SOL, MIJAS COSTA.

bars and restaurant guide

CLM©2008

Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

Family Bar Internet Quizzes and Karaoke Live Entertainment Pool Tables Games Machines Open for Food Closed Tuesdays Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 676


CLM©2008

Freshly Cooked Versatile Menu. Warm Friendly Atmosphere. Mon, Thur and Fri. - Menu of the day €11.95 2 courses and children under 12 free with accompanying adult. Above Shenanigans, Beachside, Riviera del Sol Tel: 952 935 039. Closed Tuesdays.

JJ’s Bar

Bunkers Bar Bistro

RIVIERA DEL SOL Breakfast, brunches and evening dinner. Open 7 days a week from 10am. Internet connection. Terrace available for private functions. Miraflores Driving Range. Tel: 952 939 381

En Un Rincon De La Boca

SMALL COSY BAR WITH LARGE SUNNY TERRACE AND FANTASTIC VIEWS OVER THE MED. LIVE SPORT FUN QUIZ NIGHTS - THURS MUSIC NIGHTS Avenida del Golf

Specialists in Argentinian grilled meat. Take away. Open daily 10.00 - 23.00. Closed Tuesdays. Las Terrazas de Miraflores Tel: 952 930 649

Riviera del sol JJ’s Bar

Great places to eat and drink in Riviera del Sol & Miraflores

the terrace.

CLM©2008

bars and restaurant guide

Beautiful panoramic sea and beach views from


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Urb. El Pilar, Edif. Benapilar. Locales 8-10, Estepona. Exit Km 168 (Opposite the Crowne Plaza Hotel) Tel: 952 88 36 66

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We specialise in serving our customers the highest quality food, w service, large portions, good value and most i FROM SPRING OUR BEAUTIFUL GARDEN TERRACES ARE OPEN -

OFA BED & S SHOP


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C/Jose de Espronceda, Edif. Mrc 7, Locale 32, ‘La Campana’, (opp. La Torre Andalucia Hotel) Nueva Andalucia, Marbella. Tel: 952 81 79 89

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d, whether you choose to eat in or take away. A friendly, efficient st important of all - GREAT COMFORT FOOD!!! N - TRENDY...BUZZY...ENJOYABLE. OUTDOOR EATING AT IT’S BEST

CASINO

San Pedro

N340

Marbella


Letter from the ed As we are a family run magazine we spend a lot of our time on the streets talking to local business owners, and the word on the steet is that things are looking up for most businesses. Whilst many magazines are talking about ‘recession’ and ‘credit cunch’ Costa Link advertisers are reporting a definite upturn in business for the first part of the year. I often get asked how we can make our advertising prices so reasonable and still produce a quality magazine, well the answer is hard work and dedication and not paying out for expensive designers, account managers, editors, sub editors, sales staff and photographers. No we do all of those jobs our-

selves by working very long hours. Is it worth it? Absolutely we love our jobs and hopefully that shows through in our magazine and there is no greater reward than seeing 10,000 magazines being snapped up off the streets within a few days of being distributed. 10,000 people every month can't be wrong. This is issue 24 that you are reading now and our next edition will be our second anniversary and as you can probably see by the amount of people who have chosen to advertise in this magazine that we must be doing something right. So if you want to be part of the fastest growing magazine on the coast call us now on: 663 061 669.

IGNER FLOORS DES

inVogue a

5.95€m2 at our

er rm W inters Cool Summ

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Wood-block and Laminate ‘Click’ systems Guaranteed Quality Flooring – Fits over existing floors Many designs and Textures to suit your personal Décor Professional Fitting Service For Free estimate and Site Measure: Tel: 637 107 419 www.invoguedesignerfloors.com

E-mail: invoguefloors@gmail.com



Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 90

Quick Crossword Across 1.Molecules (9) 7.Spear (5) 8.Arithmetical operation (5) 9.Light fog (4) 10.Reply (6) 12.Ploy (6) 14.Matured (4) 17.Debate (5) 18.Tip over (5) 20.Study of the universe (9)

Word Ladders THREE

CLUES: HURLED SMALL MAMMAL TATTER FATHERED LOCATED GORGED SALVAGED RESCUER

Sudoku

A word ladder is a sequence of words formed by changing just one letter each time eg CAT COT - DOT DOG. Can you find the missing words? Use the clues if you get stuck. What is round as a dishpan, deep as a tub, and still the

CUT

SEVEN

56

Down 1.Buddy (3) 2.Parts of a ladder (5) 3.Mountain goat (4) 4.Dirge (6) 5.Tendon (5) 6.Made certain (7) 9.Tycoon (7) 11.Turn aside (6) 13.Molten rock (5) 15.Zest (5) 16.Japanese wrestler (4) 19.Plaything (3)

oceans couldn’t fill it up?

Say What You See...

with or witho t

Feet Feet

to sponsor this page please call: 663 061 669



S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you this month... You'll need to really focus if you want to get any meaningful work done this month but watch yourself as somebody may be getting ready to stab you in the back. Be Capricorn on your guard. Plan your future carefully, these plans could come to fruition quicker than you think.

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

58

Do keep your chin up through the trials and tribulations of the early part of the month. They are only minor and do not need to send you into a downard spiral thinking that nothing is going right! Things will be going really well by the 17th with everything falling into place. If you're feeling low, it's time to cancel a few plans and catch up on some well needed rest and relaxation. Once you’re re-charged balance will be the key to getting it all done. In other words, don’t skip a leisure activity to get work finished you’ll only get more stressed. You might be ready to throw caution to the wind when a thought shifting opportunity comes your way. Go for it. Luck is on your side! Keep your cool, you'll make better decisions if you don't give in to moodiness. A downer mood only leads to negative decisions. Your whole month starts off on the right foot on the 1st. You may not know why everything is going so darned well, but it is and it feels great. Take time to enjoy it, you're in for lots of goodies as spring arrives. On the 5th and 6th, speak up for yourself, no one else will. You're feeling well rested and ready to embark on something brand new this month. What will it be? Chances are, whatever you start now will grow into a major part of your life. There's a lot of brain chatter clogging your mind at the moment, so do your best to focus.

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

You just can't get enough of your fellow human beings this month, so give in to the urge to get social! It's sure to pay off handsomely, both in terms of emotional gratification and networking. By the 19th, a colleague's extreme behavior is worrisome. Approach them about it. It's time for you to really put a lot into your career this month, starting on the 1st. You're ready to take it to the next level, but it won't get there unless you roll up your sleeves and get your head down. At the end of the month treat yourself for all your hard work. It’s time to get organised and have that good old clear out you’ve been meaning to do for months. Once that’s done it’s time get out and spend time with the people you love to spend time with. This quality time will revive you no end and leave you raring to go. Whatever you do at the beginning of the month don't overindulge. It's imperative that you know when to say when. Your friendships finally win out over work by the middle of the month. They'll forgive you for having been such a workaholic all winter long. You're ready to play with fire. If there's a power struggle, you want in. If there's a leadership position up for grabs, you're going to do your best to get it. As the month gets going, you are truly a force to be reckoned with, and woe betide anybody who doesn't see that.

If you're feeling a little bit sluggish and moody around the middle of the month, get some more sleep and look at changing your diet. Big changes, take a lot out of you and Sagittarius you need to take some time to go basic in every part of your life and enjoy the things that really matter.


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Girls Night Out Two women friends, walking home, incredibly drunk got caught short. They were near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties and use them, then throw them away. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that. They then made off for home. The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said “We'd better keep an eye on our wives you know, mine came home last night without her panties.” “That's nothing” said the other “Mine came back with a card stuck between her ass that said ‘From all the lads at the fire station. We'll never forget you’.”

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3am, a bit drunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “midnight” he didn't seem cross at all. Whew, got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night it cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh poo.’ Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, tripped over the coffee table and farted.”



L i s t e n t o t h e w h o l e s t o r y. . . before you interupt Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. “Mummy, Mummy, I was at the playground and Daddy and...” Mummy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. So Johnny tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his trousers off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy....” At this

point, Mummy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.” At the dinner table, Mummy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, “then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army.”

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In the Nav y This story is an 'alleged' transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian maritime contact off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid collision. Americans: This is the captain of a US navy ship; I say again divert your course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course. Americans: this is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in

the United States' atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. Canadians: We are a lighthouse; your call.

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Nymphomaniac convention A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo... she took the seat right beside him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?” She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, “Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in the United States.” He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What's your business role at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I

use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really”, he smiled, “what myths are those?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Asian Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.” Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. “I'm sorry,” she said. I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!” “Appu” the man said. “Appu Papadopoulos. But my friends call me Paddy.”

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What ’s New Patty Paws - in Riviera del Sol are now stocking pet supplies including specialist food, treats, bedding and toys, not only for dogs and cats, but also for all kinds of smaller pets, as well as still offering their fantastic grooming service. (~thanks Kay, Ruby still smells gorgeous!) You can find them in between Georges Bar and Davids bar or call: 615 044 588. business and propertydirect.com are offering you an alternative way of selling your business or property without any expensive commisions. With advertising on their website and in this very magazine for just €25 per month. To find out more visit: www.businessandpropertydirect.com or see advert page 17.

Smart Smoker - a revolutionary new way to 'smoke' while remaining healthy and within the law. These cigarettes are a healthy alternative to traditional cigarettes: same cigarette taste, still with nicotine but with none of the 4000 toxins usually found in a cigarette. To find out more see main advert page 21. The English Pie Shop - in Calypso, Calahonda and C.C. Mustang, El Pilar, Estepona have not only reduced their prices on all their delicious pies, and other home baked goodies due to the credit crunch, but are now also offering a wide range of British products at great prices. see their main advert page 35 for details.

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Random Jokes from the

Edinburgh Comedy Festival My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child...well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night. My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, ‘cause they wanted me to sound like a twat. Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital? A: The ultrasound people. I joined a dating agency and went out on a load of dates that didn't work out. And I went back to the woman who ran the agency and said: “Have you not got somebody on your books who doesn't care about how people look or what job they have and has a nice big pair of

boobs?” And she checked on her computer and said: “Actually, we have one, but unfortunately, it's you.” I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat. My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs. Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. continued over leaf...

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Random Jokes from the

Edinburgh Comedy Festival My friend said to me: “You must be more American,” so I went to have botox. The surgeon said to me: “That's $8,000.” I couldn't even look shocked. I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was “Shout For Help”. I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the girl out of Cork... Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax. Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. Did you enjoy summer this year? It was

on a Thursday. It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake. If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears. 50 Cent, or as he's called over here, approximately 29p. I bought some bread this morning. Ciabatta? No, it was a fixed price. I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: “This door is alarmed.” I said to myself: “How do you think I feel?”

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Are you a

Child of the 80’s? Read this, it will take you back but be careful cause it will also make you feel very old! Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo Friendship bracelets were ties that couldn't be broken. You know all the words to ‘Ice Ice Baby.’ You wanted to be on ‘Jim'll Fix It’. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before he had plastic surgery. You know the profound meaning of ‘Wax on, Wax off.’ You were upset when ‘She-ra, Princess of Power’ and ‘He-Man’ got

74

cancelled. You can remember watching ‘Saved by the Bell.’ You knew ‘The Artist’ when he was humbly called ‘Prince’. You could break dance (ok, you wished you could) You remember when Atari was a state of the art video game system. You can still sing the rap to ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ and you can remember when it was ‘Jazzy Jeff and The fresh Prince’ and not just plain Will Smith! You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, ALF or ET lunchbox. cont overleaf...


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Are you a

Child of the 80’s? You had a Pop Swatch Watch. You believed that ‘By the power of Greyskull, you had the power!’ Partying ‘like it's 1999’ seemed so far away. You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth. You had to change into play clothes after school. You never questioned why the A-Team were always imprisoned in places that had sufficient tools to build an armoured tank. You said “bright light, bright light” in a strange high-pitched voice. Your new winter coat was best used to demonstrate that your wings were like

a shield of steel. Your best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt worn with pixie boots. You tried to convince your Dad to fit a strip of red lights on the front of a Capri so it looked like KITT. You had more than 10 sweets in a 10p mix-up. You wore legwarmers and tried to do the splits while jumping in the air while singing you were going to live forever. Your best mate had a Soda Stream at home and you were jealous. Any elderly Scottish lady sounds like Supergran You got up extra early, especially to watch Saturday Morning cartoons.

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get your kids business seen by the ones that matter. call: 663 061 669

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What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?

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What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?

KIDS STUFF


Lucky Leprechaun Bob is in a casino playing pontoon. He's had a miserable run and lost almost everything. ‘Surely my luck must change’ he thinks ‘I'll give it one last go.’ He pulls from his pocket the deeds to his house. This represents everything he has left in this world. The croupier deals the cards. First a jack, then a six ‘Sixteen - what am I going to do.’ He stares vacantly at the two cards in his hand as his future seems to ebb away. Suddenly a leprechaun appears on his shoulder and looks at the cards. It starts jumping up and down saying “Twist, twist.” Bob looks disbelievingly at the leprechaun. “But If I lose this I've lost my house.” “Twist, twist” cries the leprechaun. Bob eventually decides to trust the leprechaun. “Twist” he says to the croupier. It is a two. Huge sigh of relief, ‘I'm OK’ Bob thinks. “Twist” the leprechaun says, “But, it's eighteen. I've got a good chance with that.” “Twist,” “Are you

78

sure?” “Yeah, you'll be OK. Twist!” Bob agonises for a few seconds and eventually reasons that the leprechaun was right last time so he goes for it. The croupier draws another card - an ace! “Wow” says Bob thinking he could now recover all he lost earlier. He is just about to place his cards face down when... “Twist, twist” “But I've got 19. If I twist I'll probably go bust.” “Twist, go on!” Bob thinks to himself that the leprechaun hasn't let him down yet so he decides to back it one last time. “The croupier draws the card. Slowly Bob reaches for it and pulls it up to his hand. He looks at it. A two. Twenty One, a five card trick. He has done it. He's got his house back, recovered all his money and made a few grand on top. Yeesss! The leprechaun who has now stopped jumping up and down is motionless, staring at the cards. It turns to Bob and says “You jammy b**tard!”


Golf Tips And Tricks Do You Swing? by Mark Sibley of Miraflores Golf Academy

MARK SIBLEY

PGA GOLF PROFESSIONAL

Hold a bucket almost full of water in both hands and imagine you are about to play a shot on the golf course. Set your posture into position then swing the bucket backwards and forwards without spilling the water. The bucket should not go outside your target line or cross the parallel line your toes are set on in the backswing and follow through before waist height. If it does the water will spill. Now pick up your 7 iron and try the swing following the line backwards and forwards through the ball position, looking for the same feeling that you felt using the bucket. This should widen your swing and give you a correct club head path in the golf swing.

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Try this one out to see whether you swing or if you swipe.

Golfing About

THIS SIGN WAS POSTED AT A LOCAL GOLF CLUB 1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 2. Form a loose grip. 3. Keep your head down. 4. Avoid a quick back swing. 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. 8. Don't stand directly in front of others. 9. Quiet please ... while others are preparing to go. 10. Don't take extra strokes. Well, done. Now flush the urinal, wash your hands, go outside, and tee off.

www.costalinkmagazine.com

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World’s Biggest Lies Ever told The check is in the mail. I'll respect you in the morning. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you. It's only a cold sore. You get this one, I'll pay next time. My wife doesn't understand me. Trust me, I'll take care of everything. Of course I love you. I am getting a divorce. Drinking? Why, no, Officer. It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing. ...but we can still be good friends. She means nothing to me.

Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty." Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone. I'll call you later. We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year. Read my lips: no new taxes. I've never done anything like this before. Now, I'm going to tell you the truth. It's supposed to make that noise. I love your new _____! ...then take a left. You can't miss it. Don't worry, it's OK - I'm sterile.

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T he Jokes page

Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They managed to bag six. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly. “Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.” Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down. Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash. After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, “Any idea where we are?” “I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year.” A turtle was walking down an alley in New Scousers? York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”

Worst Job?

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An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk

page

examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” “But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.” Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” An Irishman an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. “Y'know” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you.” “Well” said the Englishman, “At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.” “Ahhh that's nothin’” said the Irishman. “Back home in Dublin there’s Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you’ve had enough drinks they’ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house. “The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true. “Well” said the Englishman “Did this actually happen to you?” “Not me myself, personally, no,” said the Irishman. “But it did happen to me sister.” The manager of an office wants to motivate his staff so he puts up signs around the office. In the staff toilets above the basin he puts a sign saying ‘THINK’. Upon returning the next day he finds a new sign above the dispenser saying ‘THOAP’

to advertise please call 663 061 669


5 Reasons to advertise now! When you stop advertising the public forget about you or in some cases think that you have ceased trading.

1 2 3 4 5

If you have reduced your prices, how will anybody know? Let everybody know about your special offers or sale prices.

Without doubt the businesses in your field that are still advertising are the ones who are getting the calls for your product or services. Even though there is a recession, there are still people around with a disposable income who are looking for your product or service, there are just fewer of them and that is why it is so important to make sure that that they buy from you and not your competitors.

CREDIT CRUNCH BUSTING PRICES FOR A LIMITED PERIOD CALL NOW: 663 061 669 TO ADVERTISE NOW! ADVERT SIZES WAS NOW FULL PAGE 200€ 100€ HALF PAGE 100€ 50€ QUARTER PAGE 50€ 37.50€ EIGHTH PAGE 25€ 20€

and reduce the effect of dust, wind, rain and noise We will beat any like an all year round usable terrace for like quotation Frameless glazing system REFERENCES AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST Undisturbed views From quotation to installation Specialist in manufacturing glass curtains you can be sure of a first 20 years experience in glazing industry class product and service Full public liability insurance from Elite Glass Curtains Trade and commercial enquiries welcome Protect Create


Strange but true... Leprechaun Challenge Legend says a leprechaun can't lie, but he can be very tricky - just like this St. Patrick's Day challenge. Can you let his gold slip through your fingers? The Setup: Put your hands together, palms facing. Bend your middle fingers as shown, then ask someone to slip a coin between the tips of your ring fingers.

The Challenge: Keeping your middle fingers tightly held down, try to release the coin by pulling apart your ring fingers. Letting go of money is usually easy, so how come here it's so hard? What's Going On: Because it lacks certain tendons that your other fingers have, your ring finger is at the mercy of its next-door neighbor, the middle finger. The two are connected by a piece of cordlike tissue, and when your middle fingers are bent as they are here, it tightens, drawing together your ring fingers. Until you unfold your middle fingers, the coin is all but impossible to release.

METACONA Manufacturers of ornate iron work Pool Enclosures and Balustrades Aluminium doors and windows Mosquito screens Shower screens Electric shutters suppliers of scissor gates Stainless steEl welding and fabrications Toldos manual

Add a touch of glass to your surroundings. We specialize in luxury glass pool surrounds and balcony balustrades. With the new Spanish regulations stating that all communal pools must be fully fenced now in effect in the New Year, there is no classier way to acheive this.

or electric Nave 8, Fase 3, Poligono La Vega, Camino Coin, Mijas Costa

Tel: 627 812 987 Email: metacona@hotmail.com

CLMŠ2008

84

to advertise please call 663 061 669


Tel: 952 931 877 E-mail: leads@marlinglobal.com www.marlinglobal.com LONG TERM RENTALS

We have clients waiting for rentals.

€700 MGLT 7117 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom 1st floor apartment located in central Rio Real. Fully equipped fitted kitchen, lounge/diner. Large south west terrace. Community gardens, pool and parking.

€1,000 MGLT 0355 Outstanding 3 bedroom 2 bathroom ground floor apartment in Calahonda. 60m2 of terrace and an additional 125m2 of living space, sea views, poolside, close to golf courses and local amenities.

From: €550 MGLT 0010 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment, west facing with large terrace and sea views. Fully furnished, Sat TV, Secure development with swimming pool and private parking. 5 min drive to coast.

€650 MGLT 0085 2 bedroom 2 bathroom ground floor apartment large terrace with golf and mountain views fully furnished, Sky, TV. enclosed development with pools and private parking. 3 min drive to coast, stroll to Golf Club.

€1,600 MGLT 0380 Detached villa in El Coto Lounge/games room, 4 bedrooms 3 ensuite 4th full bathroom. Store room. Guest toilet. Huge kitchen/diner. Large terraced area, private pool and 2 car garage.

€800 MGLT 0702 Ground floor apartment right on the golf at La Cala. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, terrace with communal gardens, swimming pools, paddle tennis. underground parking and store room.

Santa Maria, 2 Bed - €800 MGLT 0096 Riviera, 2 Bed - €550 MGLT 7119 Torreblanca, 2 bed - €550 MGLT0650 Calahonda, 2 Bed - €750 MGLT 7111 Riviera, 2 Bed - €750 MGLT 0703 Riviera, 2 Bed - €500 MGLT 7005 Miraflores, 2 Bed - €550 MGLT 7060

Lomas, 3 bed - €1000 MGLT 7110 Calahonda, 2 bed - €500 MGLT 7115 La Cala, 2 Bed - €650 MGLT 0701 Chaperal, 4 bed house - €1200 Mi Capricho, 2 Bed - €700 MGLT 7095 Calahonda, 2 bed - €600 – MGLT 0059 Miraflores, 2 bed - €550 – MGLT 7060

Long term rentals in all areas Extensive range of holiday rental property Full management specialists

FOR OUR FULL RANGE OF PROPERTIES PLEASE CONTACT US

Tel: 952 931 877

E-mail: leads@marlinglobal.com

www.marlinglobal.com

Please mention costa link when responding


Sponsored by Videonet, La Cala On DVD - all available at Videonet, La Cala Quantum Of Solace Quantum Of Solace continues the high octane adventures of James Bond (Daniel Craig) in Casino Royale. Betrayed by Vesper, the woman he loved, 007 fights the urge to make his latest mission personal. Pursuing his determination to uncover the truth, Bond and M (Judi Dench) interrogate Mr White (Jesper Christensen) who reveals the organisation which blackmailed Vesper is far more complex and dangerous than anyone had imagined. How To Loose Friends And Alienate People - Stars Simon Pegg as Sidney Young, a disillusioned intellectual who both adores and despises the world of celebrity, fame and glamour. His alternative magazine

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pokes fun at the media obsessed stars and and so when Young is offered a job at the conservative New York based Sharps magazine its something of a shock! It seems Sharps editor is amused by Young's disruption of a post-BAFTA party and thus begins Sidney's descent into success - his gradual move from derided outsider to confidante of starlet Sophie Maes - and a love affair with colleague Alison Olsen, that will either make him or break him. W. - Josh Brolin stars as George W. Bush in acclaimed director Oliver Stone's new biopic W.! Whether you love him or hate him, there is no question that America's 43rd President is one of the most controversial public figures in recent memory. W. will take viewers through the trials and tribulations of Bush's eventful life.


ocal Info Emergency Numbers Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

112 091 092 062

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Markets

Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Transport

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates 1st March - St Davids day 10th March Malaga Citizenship day (not a holiday but usually many events to enjoy) 17th March - St Patricks Day 19th March - San Jose Spanish Fathers day. (Public holiday) 22nd March - Mothers day (UK) 29th March - Summer time begins! clocks go forward.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

87


ThelReviews c osta ink directory Advertise Your business here for just €65 for 12 issues -that’s just over 5 a month!!! or have it framed for only €99!

Accountant Malcolm Greenwood. Company formations from €750, business valuations, business start up, sole proprietors (autonomo), bookeeping from €55 per month. Tel: 952 59 69 27

Builders JCB Builders Property Maintenance Multi Services, All jobs considered Repairs and Improvements Pool Cleaning Service Free Estimates and Advice All Areas Covered. Fully Legal Tel Jonno: 677 079 704(Day) 952 882 305(Eve)

Building Supplies Aim Building Supplies Las Chapas Poligono, Elviria, Marbella. Tel: 952 835 172

Car Traders Alhaurin Autos Cars bought and sold. LHD and RHD. Alhaurin el Grande. Tel: 661 964 014

Cleaning ‘We Care to Clean and We Clean to Care’ for your domestic property. Daily/Weekly cleans, Spring cleans, ‘One offs’, Moving house cleans and End of tenancy cleans. Contact Karen: 677 553 647 karencox@live.co.uk

Computer Repairs & Sales Mintmicro S.L. Computer Shop Alhaurin el Grande, for Inks, Sales - Repairs & Upgrades.Virus & Spyware Removal Open 10 - 6 Mon - Friday No Siesta. Saturday 10 - 2 Tel: 952 596 346 or Skype: mintmicro.support Email: info@mintmicro.es

Drain services Euro Drain Services CCTV surveys, Drain jetting, Septic tanks, Soakaway Installations. Fast and Effective 24hr blocked drain clearance. Call Darren 629 640 754 All areas.

Electrician 16th Edition BS7671 qualified, Apprentice trained, 21 years experience. Rewires, extra sockets, lights, fault finding etc. Pay as you go electric meters supplied and fitted, ideal for holiday lets, aircon etc. Ian: 650 151 569

Estate & Rental Agents www.spanserv.com Property for sale or rent. Horses for sale, Discussion forum. Tel: 616 218 617 or 619 638 498

Fish and Chip Shop The Boat House El Zoco Calahonda. Mijas Costa’s premier Fish & Chip Restaurant and takeaway. The best Fish & Chips on the Coast. Tel: 952930148 Open 7 nights a week

Gardener 8 years in Spain, hedges and palms pruned & planted, turfing & fencing, tall trees a speciality. Properties tidied, monthly maintenance from 30€. Call Steve: 616 669 285

Glass Curtains RDMC Glass manufacturers and glass curtain and stainless steel specialists. Nave 16, Camino de Coin. Tel: 952 477 963

Elite Glass Curtains. Poligono Elviria 26 Elviria, 29600. Tel: 952 830 503

Hairdressers Hair Magic Calypso. Tel: 952 931 777

Kings Elviria. Tel: 952 830 556

88

please mention the costa link magazine when responding to adverts


c osta l ink directory Photography

Internet Y-Internet.com Y-Internet.com Broadband internet & teleBroadband internet &

phone service provider for telephone service provider residents, communities & for residents, communities holidaymakers. & holidaymakers. Tel: 952932266 or visit our Tel: 952932266 or visit our website www.y-internet.com website: www.y-internet.com for more information for more information

Lawyers VELASCO Y BALBÁS ABOGADOS Conveyancing Rentals Debt Collection Inheritance and Wills Insurances Litigation. Tel: 952 808 477 Fax: 952 808 724 Avd. España 220, 3ºC, 29680, Estepona.

info@vbabogados.com

Jennifer Jane

Fortress Security

Photography for all occasions. Weddings, Birthdays, Portraits, and Commercial. All areas. Tel: 661 194 653

All steelwork. Grills, gates, fences, balconies, garage doors. Tel: 952 931 128

Printing & Signage Eyeprint Business cards, flyers, signage, display stands. Tel: 951 310 395 or 952 906 121

Removals Companies The Depot International and local removal specialists. Pol. Ind San Pedro, Marbella. Tel: 952 450 487

Satellite TV

Locksmiths

Locksmith 24Hour

Tel: 666 089 427 www.knockoutlocks.com

Marble Floor Polishing NON-SLIP, LASTING SHINE, NO MESS OR DUST. SPECTACULAR RESTORATIONS. FULL GRINDING SERVICE TEL: 608 455 104 BLITZ OF ELVIRIA

Painters Professional painting. Interior and exterior and decorative painting. www.artdecoxxiplus.com Tel: 667 235 741 after 3p.m.

Security

Kings Klub Sky Installations, all viewing cards, digiboxes, Sky and Sky HD, dishes and re-alignments, community systems, parts and labour guaranteed for 1 year. Tel: 951 273 538 www.kingsklub.com

GB TV Sky installation within 24 hours. Sky cards, re-alignments and activations Tel: 658 084 802 or 658 084 806.

Dragon Security Systems Concept smoke screen system, CCTV, Intruder alarm systems and more. Tel: 670 954 409

Tile Warehouse Hard Rock Tile showroom and warehouse. Kitchens and appliances, bathrooms, marble, granite and paint. Tel: 951 275 257

Please let our advertisers know you found them in Costa Link Magazine

advertise your business in the

costa link

directory

for only €65 a year (12 issues) or frame it for only €99. please call: 663 061 669

to advertise please call 663 061 669

89


Credit Crunch Funnies

CAR STICKER WINNER

You may as well laugh A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic. Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: “What's the hold-up?” The policeman replies “The Prime Minister is so depressed he's stopped his motorcar and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. “He says no one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So we're taking up a collection for him” The lobbyist asks “How much have you got so far?” The officer replies “About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning.” The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been repossessed. Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers. What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything? A Quarter-pounder with fries, please. You know it's a credit crunch when... The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change. There's a ‘buy one, get one free’ offer on banks. The Inland Revenue is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers. Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling. Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark.

THIS MONTH’S WINNING REGISTRATION NUMBER IS 7845 DWK

WHO WINS €200!!! Prizes must be claimed within 30 days of publication of this magazine. To claim your prize please call: 952 462 092

Solutions From Page 56 Just Say What You See 1. With or without you. 2. Two left feet. Riddle Time 1.A sieve Crossword Solution



M P A Homes Junto Farmacia, Local 5, Urb. Calypso, 29649 Mijas Costa, Malaga, Spain. Tel: 952 933 534. Fax: 952 932 809 Email: info@mpahomes.com THIS MONTHS STAR BUYS €795.000 BY €695,000 BY €495.000 DING ED ED

UC 00 RED100,0 €

STAN OUT VALUE

UC 0 RED€60,00

LA CALA

CALAHONDA

ALHAURIN EL GRANDE

A1064 Front line duplex penthouse with 3 double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, fully fitted kitchen, dining area and large lounge, spacious terrace and solarium with a further room easily converted into a fourth bedroom.

V1052 Lovely Villa with 3 bedrooms all en-suite, large lounge, enclosed dining area overlooking pool and garden, fully fitted kitchen, option of adding 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment or 2 more bedrooms and bathrooms.

V1055 Beautiful modern and spacious country home set on 14,900 m2 of land. 3 double bedrooms and 1 huge master suite. American style kitchen, very private pool, Gymnasium/music room. Double garage, wine cellar and stable.

PROPERTIES REQUIRED FOR LONG TERM RENTAL D UCE 00 RED 995,0 € M FRO

€565,000

Y

DB UCE RED 5,000 €7

€195.000

DING STAN OUT ALUE V

€420.000

CAMPO MIJAS

LA CALA HILLS

MIJAS

V1056 The spacious villa sits on a double plot of over a 1.000m2. Large lounge/diner with bar area, 7 double bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, 2 kitchens and full gas central heating. Large terraces, BBQ area and a kidney shaped pool. Seperate 1 bed, 2 bath apartment. A Must See!

A1071 Immaculately presented spacious apartment. Excellent value for money. 2 double bedrooms, master en-suite, large lounge, fully fitted kitchen, utility room and terrace. Community pool. Parking Space with Storage.

V1053 Light and spacious 3 double bedrooms, 2 bathroom Villa, with garage, private pool and gardens. Large lounge with open fireplace leads on to private terrace with mountain and sea views, separate dining room. Large kitchen with utility room, Marble staircase.

FREE MAXIMUM EXPOSURE LOCALLY AND WORLDWIDE PROPERT Y REQUIRED IN ALL PRICE RANGES

We are here

FULL PROPERT Y MANAGEMENT SERVICE

Calypso

NEW DEVELOPMENTS, ALL AREAS

EXCELLENT INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITIES

www.mpahomes.com

Marbella

N-340

Fuengirola

Tel: 952 933 534

CLM©2008

1000’S OF PROPERTIES TO CHOOSE FROM


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