FAMILY
10 BIBLICAL KEYS FOR DEALING WITH CONFLICT IN THE FAMILY By Suffragan Bishop Germaine D. Hurst Proverbs 11:29 “He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart.”
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he family is one of the greatest institutions that God has ever created. It was designed to be a systematic social construct that provides love, peace, procreation and healthy interaction. A healthy family dynamic reflects the nature of God and provides mutual acceptance and compassion for the lonely. The Bible states, “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6a NIV). Our families should be honored, protected and cherished. There have been conflicts and challenges in the human family since the days of Adam and Eve. The Old and New Testament Scriptures have shared numerous stories and biblical accounts of triumph and tragedy within the family. Today, I would like to share 10 biblical keys for dealing with family conflict.
KEY #1 - ALL FAMILIES EXPERIENCE A LEVEL OF DYSFUNCTION
Romans 3:23 - “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” There are no perfect families! Every family unit has conflicts, challenges and issues. Accepting this truth will alleviate the pressure of perpetuating facades that sabotage and avoid engaging in healthy conflict resolution. We will not change what we are not willing to acknowledge is a problem in the home. Acknowledging the dysfunction does not mean that it is acceptable or warranted. However, acknowledgement is the first step toward resolution.
KEY #2 - ALWAYS LOVE AND PRIORITIZE YOUR FAMILY
1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Developing a healthy family requires love and time. How important is your family to you? When was the last time you said, “I love you?” Being critical and judgmental without any compassion can be detrimental to your family dynamic. Love demonstrates care and prioritization shows importance. Your family members need to feel
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THE CHRISTIAN OUTLOOK
loved, accepted and important. Love is the foundation that establishes a strong home. Prioritizing and spending quality time with family will provide opportunities for affection, bonding, reciprocity and positive reinforcement. Communicating love to your family is your power base. It will speak for you even when words are not spoken.
KEY #3 - CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY
Exodus 14:14 “The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” Don’t allow the need to be right cause you to engage in unnecessary confrontations with family members. Be selective in your approach to conflict resolution. Ask yourself, “What are the spoils and rewards for winning this argument?” Count up the costs. It may not be worth the fight if there is no substantial returns on your investment. Reserve your fight for what really matters. Not everything is important. Why win the battle but lose your family in the process!
KEY #4 - MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS
Proverbs 25:28 “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” It is imperative that you keep your emotions and behaviors in check. The Bible says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27). The ability to demonstrate temperance and self control is a sign of spiritual maturity. Behaving irrational and undisciplined will add fuel to the fire. Proverbs11:29a says, “He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind.” Strife and contention will cause unwanted storms and trouble in your home. Learn how to develop coping skills and anger management techniques when trying to resolve family issues.
KEY #5 - COMMUNICATE LIFE AND NOT DEATH Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Communication is the hub of the family. The lack of effective communication can be detrimental. Our words have the power to kill or make alive. Choose to speak life into your family. Avoid speaking profanity and negative words to each other. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:29 NIV “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but
“POSITIONED FOR PROMISE”
MAY/JUNE 2021
